If you ask any sex educator, researcher, or therapist what the most common question they receive is, they’re probably going to have a very quick answer. People ask us a LOT of sex questions—and the same ones have a tendency of popping up over and over again. So let’s talk about some of the most common things that people ask us about! I am joined once again by Danielle Bezalel, also known as DB . She holds a degree in public health from Columbia University and is the creator, executive prod...
Aug 11, 2023•37 min•Ep. 214
Making a sustainable living as a sex educator is harder than it sounds. Despite all you’ve heard about how “sex sells,” it’s actually a much tougher sell than you might think! There are a lot of challenges to navigate when you’re talking about a controversial subject like sex on a daily basis, so let’s talk about being in the business of sex and how to build a thriving career in this area. My guest today is Danielle Bezalel, also known as DB . She holds a degree in public health from Colum...
Aug 08, 2023•41 min•Ep. 213
A lot of people have ideas about sex therapy that are totally wrong. For example, some people seem to think that the therapist is going to be having sex with you, or that they’re going to watch you have sex. This could not be further from the truth! So let’s talk about what sex therapy is and isn’t. In this show, we’re also going to explore who sex therapy is for, how long it typically lasts, how well it works, and much more. I am joined once again by Dr. Jennifer Vencill, an a...
Aug 04, 2023•25 min•Ep. 212
The most commonly offered piece of sex advice I hear people give is to communicate more. While this advice certainly makes sense, simply telling people to “communicate more” can ring kind of hollow if it’s not coupled with information on how to do it. Most of us recognize the importance of communication; however, we don’t always do it because we often lack communication skills. So let’s talk about how to talk about sex! I am joined once again by Dr. Lauren Fogel Mer...
Aug 01, 2023•24 min•Ep. 211
In the previous episode , we talked about sexual desire discrepancies, which occur when partners want different amounts of sex in a relationship. In that show, we focused on how to navigate this situation when you’re the partner with less sexual desire. Today, we’re going to focus on the flipside: what to do when you’re the partner with more sexual desire. No matter which side of the desire discrepancy you’re on, it can be a difficult situation to navigate, but there are lot of tips and strategi...
Jul 28, 2023•36 min•Ep. 210
In long-term sexual relationships, partners aren’t always on the same page about sex. This is normal. However, when a sexual desire discrepancy becomes large and persistent, it can become a significant source of conflict and distress. So let’s talk about how to navigate desire discrepancies. This is the first episode in a two-part series on the subject. Today, we’re going to discuss what to do when you’re the one who wants less sex. In the next episode, we’re going to talk abou...
Jul 25, 2023•39 min•Ep. 209
From Albert Einstein to James Joyce, it turns out that a lot of revered historical figures had fascinating intimate lives and a proclivity for kink. So let’s continue the discussion of kinky history we started in the previous episode! Today, we’re going to talk about the kinky sex lives of some famous folks from the past, but we’re also going to explore the history and evolution of various sexual behaviors, from oral sex to pegging to foot fetishes. I am joined once again by Esmé Louise James, w...
Jul 21, 2023•33 min•Ep. 208
It turns out that for as long as humans have been having sex, they’ve been having pretty kinky sex! So let’s talk about our kinky history. In today’s episode, we’re going to explore the history of BDSM, the origins of the dildo and vibrator (and how they came to be so popular), the world’s first pornographic novel ( Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure ), and more. All of these things have fascinating stories behind them—and learning about them can help us to better understand modern human...
Jul 18, 2023•34 min•Ep. 207
In recent years, the term “ethical non-monogamy” has gone mainstream. But what does it actually mean to be ethically non-monogamous? That’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re also going to explore some common myths and misconceptions about it, tips for making ethically non-monogamous relationships work, as well as red flags to look out for. I am joined once again by Leanne Yau, also known as Poly Philia . She is a polyamory educator and sex-positive social media influe...
Jul 14, 2023•38 min•Ep. 206
Interest in polyamory is on the rise. Google searches for it have been increasing for years, it’s increasingly being discussed in the popular media, and some municipalities are starting to offer legal recognition of polyamorous relationships. So what is it actually like to be polyamorous? My guest today is going to share her own personal poly journey. We’re going to discuss the benefits and challenges of multi-partner relationships, when the right time is to open up a monogamous relationship, an...
Jul 11, 2023•36 min•Ep. 205
It is hard to believe, but we recently reached episode number 200 of this podcast! So how do you celebrate 200 episodes of a sex show? I decided to put together a compilation of some of the most fascinating facts about sex we’ve discussed to date. One of my co-managing editors at Sex and Psychology, Olivia Adams, helped me to narrow down several segments that are well worth revisiting. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: “Erotic self-focus” or the degree to which y...
Jul 07, 2023•33 min•Ep. 204
Humans are wired to feel good when we get the kind of touch that we want. But when we can’t get that, it’s bad for both our physical and psychological health. Prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, most Americans said that they weren’t getting enough intimacy and affection, and this number has only increased since. So how can we fill this touch void in our lives? Could modern technology offer some solutions? In today’s show, we’re going to discuss digital touch and whether tech might offer new and effe...
Jul 04, 2023•28 min•Ep. 203
One of the keys to maintaining healthy, long-term romantic relationships is physical intimacy. I’m not just talking about sex, though. For many reasons, non-sexual physical intimacy is just as important, if not more so. In today’s show, we’re going to do a deep dive into why touch is so powerful, as well as why affectionate touch is one of the best ways to initiate sex and to have great sex. We’re also going to explore practical tips for bringing more touch into your relationships. I am joined b...
Jun 30, 2023•37 min•Ep. 202
Let’s talk about sexual fantasies! In today’s show, we’re going to explore what people fantasize about doing sexually—and how that varies around the world. So how does culture influence what we fantasize about? We’re also going to discuss how people feel about their fantasies, where our fantasies come from, and how they change over the course of our lives. In addition, we’ll talk about some practical tips and tricks for sharing fantasies with a partner in case you’re interested in br...
Jun 27, 2023•35 min•Ep. 201
Sexual fantasies are fascinating! There is so much diversity and variability in the way we envision these scenarios, so let’s talk about it. Today, we’re going to dive into some of the interesting details of our fantasy worlds, including where they take place, the perspective from which we see things, and the storylines they follow. My guest is Mariëlle de Goede, a psychologist and researcher from Amsterdam. From 2018 to 2021, she and her colleagues at Company New Heroes conducted the larg...
Jun 23, 2023•34 min•Ep. 200
Have you ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes when porn is filmed? There’s a lot more that goes into it than you might think! In today’s show, I’m going to interview a porn director about her process, including where she gets her ideas about what kinds of films to make in the first place. We’ll also talk about all the work and conversations that happen long before people ever strip down and start having sex, what it’s like to be on a porn set, how long it ta...
Jun 20, 2023•34 min•Ep. 199
Over the last decade or so, many of the conversations about porn taking place in the popular media have shifted to the topics of ethical porn and feminist porn. But what does it really mean for porn to be ethical or feminist in nature? Does this imply that all mainstream porn is inherently unethical? Can we really think about the porn industry in these black-and-white, good vs. bad terms? Let’s talk about it! My guest today is Paulita Pappel , a Spanish filmmaker and feminist pornographer....
Jun 13, 2023•32 min•Ep. 198
While it might be tempting to assume that people who cheat aren’t in very satisfying relationships, it turns out that even people who are very happy and in love with their partners sometimes commit infidelity, too. So why is that? Let’s talk about it. I recently released a few episodes of the show looking at women who have affairs (Eps 190 and 191 ), so we’re going to focus more on men today. Specifically we’re going to look at a new study of Ashely Madison users , a website that fac...
Jun 09, 2023•33 min•Ep. 197
Imagine a woman wanders around a college campus and asks 100 different men at random whether they’d have sex with her. Now imagine a man wandering around the same campus asking 100 women for sex. How many people do you think would agree in each case? It turns out that we have the answers because this exact study has been done before! Today’s show is going to be all about how people respond to offers of casual sex from strangers, and how the results are similar or different across per...
Jun 06, 2023•19 min•Ep. 196
In 2017, the world’s first sex doll brothel opened its doors. Since then, several others have opened up in major cities around the world. These brothels exist in a gray legal zone and a lot of governments don’t want them around, which makes it tricky not just to set up shop, but to actually stay in business. So what is a sex doll brothel actually like? Who visits these establishments, what are they looking for, and how much does it cost? Let’s take an inside look at Cybrothel , a very uniq...
Jun 02, 2023•33 min•Ep. 195
Modern sextech is rapidly changing the way people gratify their sexual and intimate desires. Sex dolls, sex robots, and chatbots are starting to become more accessible and popular. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss who is using these new technologies, their motivations, and the complex debate that’s playing out in the popular media about whether sextech is a positive or negative force in our lives. I am joined by Dr. Kenneth Hanson , an Assistant Professor of Sociology at the University of...
May 30, 2023•32 min•Ep. 194
In the United States, a whopping 89% of teens now have smartphones. Parents give their kids these devices for numerous reasons, with safety being at the top of the list; however, parents don’t necessarily know or have control over how their kids are using their phones. And a heck of a lot of kids are using them for sexting. This has created a lot of controversy and debate. Some see it as an inherently dangerous trend that poses great risk to teens, whereas others see it as just another way that ...
May 26, 2023•28 min•Ep. 193
When people today look back at popular films and TV shows from decades past, they are often completely aghast at the sex scenes. Through our modern lens, they frequently read as problematic. While things have certainly changed in recent years, consent remains an elusive ideal, and one that Hollywood still struggles to get right with on-screen portrayals of sex. So let’s explore how consent culture is shaping the way that sexuality (and, in particular, teenage sexuality) is depicted in the ...
May 23, 2023•38 min•Ep. 192
Picture a married heterosexual woman who is having an affair. Why do you think she’s engaging in infidelity? It is purely about sex and pleasure? Is it about intimacy and emotional connection? Is she doing it just because she can? Women’s affairs can take a lot of different forms, so let’s talk about them. In today’s show, we’re going to explore four distinct types of affairs that women have, as well as how women feel about their affairs. Are they happy that they did it, or do they h...
May 19, 2023•29 min•Ep. 191
Rates of infidelity have risen over the last half-century; however, if you break the data down by gender, it turns out that men’s rate of infidelity has remained relatively stable, whereas women’s has increased. So what’s behind the rise in female infidelity? And what are the implications of this for modern-day marriages and relationships? Let’s talk about it! I am joined today by author Susan Shapiro Barash . She has written thirteen nonfiction books on women’s issues. She also writ...
May 16, 2023•33 min•Ep. 190
Asexuality is a broad umbrella term that refers to individuals who do not experience sexual attraction to others, or who only do so under rare or limited circumstances. Growing research in this area is helping to shed important light on the nature of asexuality because there are a lot of misconceptions about it, such as the idea that asexuality is a sexual dysfunction. But that’s not the case—and that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re going to be exploring a new study that look...
May 09, 2023•27 min•Ep. 189
Where does a person’s sexual orientation come from? Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of studies have attempted to answer this question. This research suggests that there isn’t a simple explanation and that two people might develop the same sexual orientation for very different reasons. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about the current state of the science, including what we know about the roles of immunological, hormonal, and genetic factors. We’re also going to discuss why we know less a...
May 02, 2023•31 min•Ep. 188
Some adults feel highly distressed about their porn use. In most of these cases, the root cause of the problem can be traced back to shame or moral conflicts surrounding porn. At the same time, however, not all porn problems stem from moral issues. For some folks, the problem is that they have what’s known as compulsive sexual behavior disorder , which involves “out of control” behavior relating to porn use or other sex acts. This is the final installment of a four-part series on the...
Apr 25, 2023•35 min•Ep. 187
Research on pornography’s effects points to a fascinating paradox: the people who report the most problems stemming from porn use are often the ones using the least porn! How is that possible? That’s what we’re going to be discussing today. This is the third installment in a four-part series on the science of porn. In this show, we’re going to dive into what’s known as moral incongruence , which is when people engage in sexual behaviors, like porn use, that conflict with their ...
Apr 21, 2023•35 min•Ep. 186
The growing anti-porn movement has fueled the rise of an entire industry centered around selling people on the idea of masturbatory abstinence. Often referred to as a “reboot,” these programs encourage men to forego self-pleasure and orgasm for prolonged periods of time, which they say is necessary to reset the brain and boost testosterone. But do these programs work as advertised? This is the second installment in a 4-part series on the science of porn and, today, we’re going to go inside the w...
Apr 18, 2023•32 min•Ep. 185
