How many people have you had sex with? In other words, what’s your “body count?” In this episode, we’re going to dive into the data. We’ll discuss the average number of sexual partners people report having, why men consistently report higher body counts than women, as well as why people seem to place so much emphasis on body count in the first place. I am joined by Ashley Weller. She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also has a...
Jun 27, 2025•41 min•Ep. 409
You’ve probably heard the phrase before that “nice guys finish last.” But is there any truth to it? That’s what we’re talking about in today’s show. We’re going to discuss how being overly agreeable has the potential to diminish sex appeal, while also interfering with one’s own sexual pleasure. As my guest today likes to say, nice guys need to learn how to say no sometimes. I am joined once again by Caitlin V , a sex and relationship coach specializing in helping men overcome sexual difficulties...
Jun 24, 2025•39 min•Ep. 408
If you want to get better at sex, what do you need to know? In today’s show, we’re talking all about how men can become better lovers, including how to build sexual confidence, how to deal with performance pressure, as well as tips and tricks for improving your sexual technique. My guest today is Caitlin V , a sex and relationship coach specializing in helping men overcome sexual difficulties. With over 150MM views on YouTube and nearly a million subscribers, she has become a leading voice in th...
Jun 20, 2025•46 min•Ep. 407
“Slut” is a powerful term that has historically been used as an indictment of women’s moral character. And as my guest today explains, as long as terms like this retain their power, we’re never going to have true gender equality in the bedroom. She argues that it’s well past time to reclaim the word slut once and for all, so let’s talk about it. I am joined once again by Dr. Hilary Caldwell , a sex worker, author, academic, and sexologist. Her bold political memoir, Slutdom: Reclaiming Shame-Fre...
Jun 17, 2025•30 min•Ep. 406
There’s a surprising amount of anti-masturbation content on social media, much of it suggesting that masturbation is bad for your health. In today’s show, we’re going to delve into whether abstaining from masturbation actually boosts testosterone, whether you can really become “addicted” to masturbating, what science says about the purported health benefits of semen retention, and more. In this episode, we’re revisiting a conversation with Dr. Eric Sprankle , which originally aired back in episo...
Jun 13, 2025•45 min•Ep. 405
Men are much more likely to report having paid for sex than women; however, there are probably more women paying for sex than we think. In today’s show, we’re going to do a deep dive into the world of women who pay for sex. We’ll be exploring what their experiences are like, why some women see paying for sex as being safer than having casual sex, and more. My guest is Dr. Hilary Caldwell , a sex worker, author, academic, and sexologist. Her bold political memoir, Slutdom: Reclaiming Shame-Free S...
Jun 10, 2025•31 min•Ep. 404
Imagine you just met an attractive stranger and want to strike up a conversation. What are you going to say? More often than not, people play it safe and stick to small talk, but that makes it hard to really connect with someone. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss tips for moving beyond the small talk and establishing deeper, more authentic connections, as well as tips for improving sexual communication. I am joined once again by Lindsay Jill Roth , an award-winning television and live-even...
Jun 06, 2025•36 min•Ep. 403
The way that many of us are approaching romantic relationships is all wrong. We’re not prioritizing the things that really matter when selecting our partners. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about the conversations you need to be having with a potential partner in order to develop deeper connections and establish long-term compatibility. My guest is Lindsay Jill Roth , an award-winning television and live-events producer who has created and developed a wide variety of programming globally. ...
Jun 03, 2025•35 min•Ep. 402
In today’s show, we’re talking about a new way of treating women’s most common sexual problems. My guest co-developed an online sexual health platform called eSense that’s designed to bring evidence-based treatment for low sexual desire and arousal to the masses at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. It could very well be a game-changer in the way we treat sex problems. I am joined once again by Dr. Lori Brotto , an internationally recognized leader in sexual health research. She is a...
May 30, 2025•30 min•Ep. 401
The most common sexual problems that women experience center around low sexual desire and/or difficulty becoming aroused, formally known as female sexual interest/arousal disorder . In today’s show, we’re doing a deep dive into what this disorder looks like, where it comes from, and why it seems so hard for women to access treatment for it. I am joined by Dr. Lori Brotto , an internationally recognized leader in sexual health research. She is a Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics and G...
May 27, 2025•31 min•Ep. 400
The number of adult virgins is growing and is actually at a record high. Many of these folks would like to be having sex, but cannot find a partner. In other words, they are involuntarily celibate, or “incels” for short. So what do we know about these individuals? A deeper look at the psychology of incels reveals a group that is struggling with complex mental health issues. In today’s episode, we’re revising my conversation with William Costello , which originally aired back in episode 133. This...
May 23, 2025•52 min•Ep. 399
If you want to maintain your sexual function and wellbeing, it’s important to pay attention to your pelvic floor! In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to keep your pelvic floor in shape and resolve common problems with it. It turns out that optimizing your pelvic floor can help with a wide range of issues, from dealing with painful sex to having more (and better) orgasms. I am joined once again by Sara Reardon, a board-certified pelvic floor physical therapist and founder of The V-Hive...
May 20, 2025•34 min•Ep. 398
The pelvic floor is a really important set of muscles that plays a big role in sexual and reproductive function. However, most people don’t know much about it, including common signs that they might have a problem. In today’s show, I am joined by the “Vagina Whisperer” to discuss what you need to know about the pelvic floor I am joined by Sara Reardon, a board-certified pelvic floor physical therapist and founder of The V-Hive , an online, on-demand pelvic floor fitness platform. She is author o...
May 16, 2025•34 min•Ep. 397
When women have sex with men, there’s an orgasm gap. However, this gap disappears when women have sex with other women. So why is that? In today’s show, we’re diving into some new research finding that women anticipate sex is going to follow a very different script based on the gender of their partner. It turns out that those scripts have big implications for their odds of orgasm. I am joined once again by Carly Wolfer , a sex researcher, relationship scientist, and health educator whose work ex...
May 13, 2025•28 min•Ep. 396
In heterosexual relationships, women don’t orgasm as frequently or consistently as men. So why is that? As we’ll explore in today’s show, it’s because there’s an “orgasm pursuit gap.” Sexual scripts lead women to pursue their own orgasms less than men, and to perceive less support from their partners for their own pleasure. My guest is Carly Wolfer , a sex researcher, relationship scientist, and health educator whose work explores how to create more equitable and pleasurable sexual experiences. ...
May 09, 2025•33 min•Ep. 395
Have you ever been in a relationship where it felt like you and your partner were slipping into the roles of parent and child? In today’s show, we’re going to discuss common signs that you might be in a parentified relationship. We’re also going to discuss how parentification impacts sexual and relationship quality, as well as how to break this pattern. I am joined once again by Dr. Kate Balestrieri , a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist. She is the founder of Modern Intimacy , a ...
May 06, 2025•33 min•Ep. 394
At some point, almost everyone in a long-term relationship is going to wonder, “What happened to my sex life?” Where did the initial passion and excitement go? In today’s show, we’re going to explore why desire, pleasure, and connection often decline in relationships, as well as how you can get it back. I am joined by Dr. Kate Balestrieri , a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist. She is the founder of Modern Intimacy , a counseling practice that operates in Los Angeles, Miami, and C...
May 02, 2025•36 min•Ep. 393
In the last episode , we talked about patients who fall in love with their therapists. Today, we’re taking about the flip side of things: when therapists develop sexual and/or romantic feelings toward their patients, a phenomenon known as erotic countertransference . Research suggests that this is surprisingly common, so we’re going to discuss why it happens and what to do in situations like this. I am joined once again by Alison McCleary and Jordan Pickell. Alison and Jordan are both Registered...
Apr 29, 2025•36 min•Ep. 392
It’s surprisingly common for people in psychotherapy to develop sexual and/or romantic feelings for their therapists. This is a phenomenon known as erotic transference. It’s a form of projection that psychologists have recognized since the days of Freud. On today’s show, we’re going to explore the complex psychology behind why this phenomenon happens and what it really means. I am joined today by Alison McCleary and Jordan Pickell. Alison and Jordan are both Registered Clinical Counsellors and p...
Apr 25, 2025•33 min•Ep. 391
A few years back, there were a ton of media articles going around about how the pandemic killed the sex party scene. Flash forward to today, and sex parties are back with a vengeance. So what is it actually like to attend a sex party? In today’s show, we’re going to explore the world of sex parties and what you need to know if you’re thinking about attending one. I am joined once again by Dr. Tara , an associate professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Full...
Apr 22, 2025•34 min•Ep. 390
In long-term relationships, sexual satisfaction usually starts dropping after the first year as the initial burst of passion begins to wear down. However, this decline in satisfaction is both preventable and reversible. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how bring excitement back into the bedroom by exploring the biggest predictors of sexual satisfaction. My guest is Dr. Tara , an associate professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton. She is ...
Apr 18, 2025•40 min•Ep. 389
Initiating sex is something that a lot of people struggle with. So why is it hard, and how can we make it easier? That’s what we’re talking about in today’s show. In this episode, we’re revisiting a wonderful conversation I had with Vanessa and Xander Marin, the co-hosts of the “Pillow Talks” podcast and co-authors of the book, Sex Talks: Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life . Some of the questions we answer include: Why is initiating sex so hard for so many people? What are the...
Apr 15, 2025•34 min•Ep. 388
In the previous episode , we spoke with the madam of a legal brothel in the US state of Nevada. In today’s show, we’re going to peel back the sheets a bit further and talk about the courtesans who live and work in this brothel, as well as the surprisingly wide range of customers who visit. It turns out that, more often than not, the patrons are looking for far more than just sex. I am joined once again by Tara Adkins, who has served as the madam of the World Famous Mustang Ranch for 17 years. As...
Apr 11, 2025•32 min•Ep. 387
There are close to two dozen legal brothels in the U.S. state of Nevada. In today’s show, we’re going to go inside one of these brothels and talk to the madam who manages it. We’re going to talk about what the job of a brothel madam is really like, as well as some common myths and misconceptions about brothels and sex work. My guest is Tara Adkins, who has served as the madam of the World Famous Mustang Ranch for 17 years. As the madam of this property, Tara is responsible for hiring and trainin...
Apr 08, 2025•30 min•Ep. 386
Porn is the predominant way that gay and queer men learn about sex. That’s a problem because porn is entertainment, not a how-to guide. In today’s show, we’re discussing what gay and queer men need to know when it comes to having positive and pleasurable sexual experiences, including tips for anal sex and dealing with performance problems. I am joined once again by Tom Bruett , a licensed marriage and family therapist, trainer, and consultant who works extensively with the queer community. He is...
Apr 04, 2025•40 min•Ep. 385
Some gay men don’t think monogamy ever works because there’s too much temptation out there. At the same time, others think that non-monogamy never works because someone always gets jealous. So what’s the truth here? Today, we’re doing a deep dive into gay men’s relationships and exploring tips for successfully navigating them, whether they’re monogamous or non-monogamous. I am joined by Tom Bruett , a licensed marriage and family therapist, trainer, and consultant who works extensively with the ...
Apr 01, 2025•41 min•Ep. 384
Sexual fluidity is controversial. The fact that people’s sexual attractions can shift has sometimes been used to argue that sexual orientation is a choice and, therefore, that being LGBTQ doesn’t merit being a protected class under the law. In this show, we’re going to dive into the complicated politics surrounding sexual fluidity. I am joined once again by Mark Cusack, a sexuality and relationship coach supporting people who may have complex, fluid or undefined sexual orientation or gender. Mar...
Mar 28, 2025•41 min•Ep. 383
Are you attracted to different types of people than you used to be? Has there been a shift in your go-to fantasy? Do you prefer different activities in the bedroom than you did before? Human sexuality is incredibly flexible. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into the subject of sexual fluidity in order to better understand how and why our sexual attractions might change over time. My guest is Mark Cusack, a sexuality and relationship coach supporting people who may have complex, fluid or unde...
Mar 25, 2025•41 min•Ep. 382
When you have sex, do you kind of already know how it’s going to play out before your clothes even came off? If so, you’re not alone. Most of us follow sexual scripts that feature a predictable sequence of activities. However, these scripts can limit our opportunities for pleasure. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to rewrite your sexual script and cultivate a more fulfilling intimate life. I am joined once again by Rachel Zar , a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT-Certi...
Mar 21, 2025•37 min•Ep. 381
What are the most common questions that come up in sex therapy? In this episode, we’re going to dive into five questions that come up over and over again. We’re also going to address when you should consider seeing out professional help for a sex problem, as well as explore a few tips for maintaining a happy, healthy, and exciting sex life. My guest is Rachel Zar , a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist. Dr. Zar is a clinical supervisor at Avid Intimacy , a s...
Mar 18, 2025•38 min•Ep. 380
