Nothing makes us lose desire for sex faster than having bad sex. Indeed, many cases of low sexual desire are simply due to people having sex that isn’t worth having. In this episode, we’re going to talk about the three main types of bad sex, what it means to have good sex, and how to stop having bad sex. Today, we’re revisiting a fantastic conversation I had with Dr. Kelly Casperson back in episode 128. Kelly is a urologist, sex educator, author, and podcaster whose mission is empowe...
Mar 14, 2025•43 min•Ep 379•Transcript available on Metacast Sugar dating is a type of transactional relationship in which sex and companionship are exchanged for some type of compensation. Reports suggest that there are millions of people engaging in this. In today’s show, we’re going to explore sugar dating relationships, including what draws people to it, the advantages and disadvantages of sugar dating, and who holds the power in a sugaring arrangement. I am joined once again by Kate Metcalfe , a clinical psychology PhD student at the University of Te...
Mar 11, 2025•43 min•Ep 378•Transcript available on Metacast Think about the last few times you had sex. What was your main reason for doing it? There are myriad reasons that people report, including pleasure and horniness. However, a common motive that we don’t talk enough about is when people have sex out of a sense of duty or obligation. So let’s talk about “duty sex,” including who has it and what effects it has on people and their relationships. My guest today is Kate Metcalfe , a clinical psychology PhD student at the University of...
Mar 07, 2025•35 min•Ep 377•Transcript available on Metacast If you could change one thing about your sex life, what would it be? In this episode, we’re discussing the biggest changes people want to make and the new things they want to try in bed based on insights from Arya’s new study of Couples and Intimacy Trends, which included data from more than 100,000 respondents. I am joined once again by Nicholas Velotta , a PhD student at the University of Washington who researches intimate relationships and sex. He is also the head of research at the cou...
Mar 04, 2025•38 min•Ep 376•Transcript available on Metacast How would you describe your personality in the bedroom? What do you like to do sexually? What do you need from your partners? What turns you on? In today’s show, we’re going to explore erotic personas . New research based on a survey of more than 100,000 adults sheds light on the 4 main types of erotic personas that exist. My guest is Nicholas Velotta , a PhD student at the University of Washington who researches intimate relationships and sex. He is also the head of research at the couple’s wel...
Feb 28, 2025•40 min•Ep 375•Transcript available on Metacast Persistent genital arousal disorder (PGAD) is one of the most distressing sexual dysfunctions. PGAD involves having near-constant feelings of unwanted arousal that make it difficult to concentrate, work, and sleep. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into what we know about PGAD and speak with a physician who frequently treats patients with this condition. I am joined once again by Dr. Sameena Rahman , a board-certified OB/GYN, sex-med gynecologist, and menopause specialist with an academic aff...
Feb 25, 2025•41 min•Ep 374•Transcript available on Metacast Sex changes as we age. While these changes are often small and gradual, once you hit your 40s and 50s, it’s not uncommon to start noticing bigger changes. In this episode, we’re going to talk all about sex at midlife and some of the most common sexual issues that come up during this time for women, as well as tips for dealing with them. My guest today is Dr. Sameena Rahman , a board-certified OB/GYN, sex-med gynecologist, and menopause specialist with an academic affiliation at Northwester...
Feb 21, 2025•33 min•Ep 373•Transcript available on Metacast In the previous episode , we discussed the history of food and sex, which turns out to be a truly fascinating topic! Today, we’re diving even deeper into the subject. We’re going to explore how diet culture became a way of suppressing female pleasure, how interest in fine food came to be associated with being gay, why French food has a particularly strong association with sex, and more. I am joined once again by Rachel Hope Cleves , a professor of history at the University of Victori...
Feb 18, 2025•34 min•Ep 372•Transcript available on Metacast Have you ever noticed how good food and good sex just kind of go together? It turns out that this association goes back a really long time, so we’re going to dive into some of that fascinating history today. For example, I bet you didn’t know that the world’s first restaurants weren’t just places people went to eat–they were also places people went to have sex! My guest today is Rachel Hope Cleves , a professor of history at the University of Victoria and a member o...
Feb 14, 2025•40 min•Ep 371•Transcript available on Metacast How do you define sexual pleasure? For some people, it simply means orgasm. But orgasm isn’t the only way we derive pleasure from sex! In this episode, we’re going to dive into the many and varied forms of sexual pleasure that exist, common barriers to experiencing pleasure, and how to get more pleasure from sex. We’ll also discuss tips for cultivating a more satisfying sex life. I am joined once again by Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons , an award-winning Associate Professor at Emory University...
Feb 11, 2025•40 min•Ep 370•Transcript available on Metacast Let’s talk about orgasms! In today’s episode, we’re diving into a lot of interesting questions surrounding the big O. For example, who is responsible for your orgasm during sex: your partner or you? Also, is it ever OK to fake an orgasm? Additionally, we’ll explore strategies for having more orgasms if this is something you struggle with, as well as whether you can learn to be multiply-orgasmic. My guest is Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons , an award-winning Associate Professor...
Feb 07, 2025•30 min•Ep 369•Transcript available on Metacast A lot of the things you’ve probably learned about what healthy relationships look like are just plain wrong. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into what you really need to know. Some of the topics we’re going to explore include how to know whether a given relationship is right for you, how to avoid moving too fast, and the single best things you can do for your relationship health. I am joined once again by Claire Perelman , a Queer, Jewish Sex Therapist and Educator living and working in the...
Feb 04, 2025•32 min•Ep 368•Transcript available on Metacast Whether you consider yourself to be kinky or not, there’s a lot that all of us can learn from the kink community that could benefit our sex lives. Today, we’re going to explore five important things to know about cultivating safer, healthier, and more pleasurable sexual experiences. Along the way, we’re also going to dispel some common misconceptions about kink. My guest is Claire Perelman , a Queer, Jewish Sex Therapist and Educator living and working in the Bay Area. Her work with clients, wor...
Jan 31, 2025•34 min•Ep 367•Transcript available on Metacast If you’re a long-time listener, you’ve probably heard me talk about my study abroad classes before . I take students all over the world to learn about sex and culture, and one of the many topics we explore is sexual fantasies, including how they are similar or different across cultures. For example, in my Amsterdam course, we hear from Marielle de Goede, who along with her colleagues at Company New Heroes conducted the largest ever study of sexual fantasies in the Netherlands and Belgium as part...
Jan 28, 2025•37 min•Ep 366•Transcript available on Metacast Research finds that up to 25% of men experience sexual performance anxiety, which is just one of many types of anxiety that affect men in the bedroom. In this episode, we’re diving into men’s anxiety around sex and relationships, and how to deal with it. I am joined once again by David Khalili , a licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified sexologist, and founder of Rouse Relational Wellness , a boutique couples and sex therapy center in San Francisco. He is author of the Ment...
Jan 24, 2025•26 min•Ep 365•Transcript available on Metacast A growing number of men are experiencing mental health struggles. However, surveys from all around the world find that men are very reluctant to talk about their mental health. As a result, their mental health issues often go undiagnosed and untreated, and many turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. In today’s show, we’re going to open up a conversation about men’s mental health. I am joined by David Khalili , a licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified sexologist, and founder of Rou...
Jan 21, 2025•28 min•Ep 364•Transcript available on Metacast When it comes to how sex and sexuality are portrayed on screen, what does Hollywood get right and wrong? Let’s talk about it! I recently appeared on the Love Factually Podcast, hosted by my friends Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel. They asked me to select a film about sex, so I picked the 2010 movie Easy A starring Emma Stone. We had a really fun conversation about it, so I wanted to share it with you today. Easy A covers a lot of timely themes, including sexual reputation, virginity, casual s...
Jan 17, 2025•56 min•Ep 363•Transcript available on Metacast We are answering more of your sex questions in this show! We had a couple of fascinating questions that came through our listener voicemail that really stood out to me because I’ve never been asked about them before: Our first question is about what to do with sex toys you don’t want or need anymore. Can you recycle them? The answer is surprisingly complicated! The second question comes from a sex worker who wants to be open and honest with her kids about her work, so she’s looking for adv...
Jan 14, 2025•37 min•Ep 362•Transcript available on Metacast In today’s show, we are answering more of your sex questions! We recently had two questions come through our podcast voicemail that center around navigating relationships where the partners are significantly different in terms of age, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about in this show. To help me in answering these questions, Ashley Weller is back on the podcast. She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also r...
Jan 10, 2025•36 min•Ep 361•Transcript available on Metacast “The Five Love Languages” is one of the most popular self-help books on relationships ever written, and it’s often used in couples’ therapy. However, despite its massive popularity, there’s a surprising lack of research on the theory behind it. My guest today recently published a new study that tested some of its core ideas, and the findings may very well surprise you. I am joined by Dr. Sharon M. Flicker , a clinical psychologist who researches intimate relationships. She is license...
Jan 07, 2025•32 min•Ep 360•Transcript available on Metacast Sexual problems are common. So how do we fix them? In today’s episode, we’re going to dive into the Good Enough Sex Model. It’s a radically different way of thinking about sex that can help us both in preventing problems from emerging in the first place, as well as fixing problems when they appear. My guest is Dr. Barry McCarthy . He is an emeritus professor of psychology at American University and a certified couple’s therapist. He has published more than 150 academic papers and chapters, and h...
Jan 03, 2025•26 min•Ep 359•Transcript available on Metacast Now is the perfect time to make some resolutions for healthy relationships in the New Year! In previous year-end episodes, we covered sexual resolutions (see episodes 155 and 253 ), so in this show, we’re going to focus on relationship resolutions. We’ll be talking about tips for making new friends, strengthening romantic relationships, and building a healthier relationship with yourself. Today, we’re going to revisit one of Sex and Psychology’s Essential Listens: my interview with Dr. Jul...
Dec 31, 2024•33 min•Ep 358•Transcript available on Metacast Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a topic that is rarely discussed in terms of how it affects adults’ intimate lives, but it’s something we need to talk about. Research suggests that around 40% of adults with ADHD experience at least one form of sexual dysfunction. In today’s show, we’re going to explore what you need to know about ADHD, sex, and relationships. I am joined by Cate Osborn , a certified sex educator, mental health advocate, and full-time content creator, wit...
Dec 27, 2024•44 min•Ep 357•Transcript available on Metacast Over the last couple of decades, holiday movies have increasingly centered around love and romance, and they’re growing massively in popularity. In this episode, we’re going to dive into the rise of romance-themed holiday media and how this intersects with cuffing season, or the increased tendency for people to partner-up during the winter months. I am joined once again by Dr. Paul Eastwick and Dr. Eli Finkel . Dr. Eastwick is a Professor at the University of California, Davis, where...
Dec 24, 2024•25 min•Ep 356•Transcript available on Metacast “Sentient object romance” is an increasingly popular erotica genre in which humans get ravished by inanimate objects that come to life. Some of the most wonderfully absurd titles I’ve seen in this area include “Glazed by the Gay Living Donuts” and “This Pumpkin Spice Latte Gets Me Off.” In today’s show, we’re going to explore the appeal of sentient object romance with an author who has published dozens of books in this area. I am joined by Chuck Tingle , a USA Today bests...
Dec 20, 2024•45 min•Ep 355•Transcript available on Metacast Research has found that gay men are substantially more likely to experience erectile dysfunction than heterosexual men, whereas heterosexual men are more likely to experience premature ejaculation than gay men. So what’s up with that? In this episode, we’re going dive into the science that can help to explain this curious pattern, as well as discuss tips for dealing with ED. I am joined once again by Tom Bruett , a licensed marriage and family therapist, trainer, consultant, and author who works...
Dec 17, 2024•37 min•Ep 354•Transcript available on Metacast Most relationship advice is tailored to heterosexual folks. And while some of that is also applicable queer relationships, not all of it is. Queer relationships are unique and therefore need relationship advice that’s tailored to them. My guest today has a forthcoming book that offers a relationship guide for gay men, so that’s what we’re going to be talking about in this show. I am joined by Tom Bruett , a licensed marriage and family therapist, trainer, consultant, and author who works extensi...
Dec 13, 2024•39 min•Ep 353•Transcript available on Metacast Financial domination or findom involves a submissive (usually a man) who gives money or control of their finances to a dominant partner (usually a woman). The sub is not expecting anything in return—it’s about submitting, giving up control, sometimes being humiliated, and being aroused by all of this. So why are people into findom, and why does it seem to be growing in popularity? My guest today is Jessica van Meir , a PhD candidate at the Harvard Kennedy School who studies sex work. Jessica is ...
Dec 10, 2024•38 min•Ep 352•Transcript available on Metacast These days, it seems like sex is everywhere you look. We live in a very pornified culture in many ways, but it wasn’t always like this. So what changed? In today’s show, we’re going to explore the rise of “raunch culture.” Some of the topics we’ll discuss include the effects of living in a hypersexualized society, the mixed messages that women receive about sex, and why raunch culture and purity culture co-exist. I am joined once again by Dr. Bernadette Barton , a Professor of Sociology an...
Dec 06, 2024•29 min•Ep 351•Transcript available on Metacast Sugar dating typically involves an older, wealthy person who financially supports a younger, attractive partner in exchange for companionship and intimacy, and sometimes sex. In today’s episode, we’re going to explore the growing popularity of sugar dating and the unique grey area that it occupies in between traditional dating and sex work. My guest is Dr. Bernadette Barton , a Professor of Sociology and the Director of Gender Studies at Morehead State University. Barton is co-editor of the new ...
Dec 03, 2024•32 min•Ep 350•Transcript available on Metacast 
