The Idiot - Chapter 1

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My family, if I had to give it an adjective, is elastic. Forty-five years ago, my parents, my little brother, and I, came over to this country from the Soviet Union, extending the family across continents. Over the decades, the family, my father really, stretched to absorb spouses, in laws, even though they spoke a different language, children both biological and adopted, ex spouses who chose to stick around, and eventually grandchildren.

Over those same decades, as in any family, people made bad decisions, said things they hoped no one would remember, got mad at each other, felt grudges, came around, and the family stretched as needed. And then it snapped. Someone did something that bad. That person was my cousin Alan. He and his mother, my father's sister Lena, came to the US from Moscow in nineteen ninety.

They stayed with my parents and brother for almost a year. By the time they arrived, I no longer lived at home, so I didn't have much of a relationship with them. Never really wanted to, because I didn't like my aunt. And as Alan grew up, I realized, even from a distance, that I didn't particularly like him either. Ellen is a clown, a blowhard, a pompous ass. He would call himself an untreat. He started his first business in college.

He hired students to ghost type papers for other, wealthier students. He went to law school and got fired from his first job. He later told me this was because his fine legal mind made the other lawyers insecure. Then he lived in Russia, Ukraine, Zimbabwe, working a series of increasingly shady jobs.

In Africa he was involved with diamonds and worked with an Israeli company that provided security for mining. If someone had set out to write an unlikable international huckster character, they couldn't have laid it on any thicker. Alan married a Zimbabwean woman. Ward in the family was that she had been that country's beauty queen. They had two kids. Last I knew, all of them, including my Aunt Lena, were living in Moscow.

And then, in the summer of twenty nineteen, everyone on the American side of the family got a Facebook message from Alan, informing us that he had arrived in the US with his five year old son. I'm going to call O Allen wrote they'd come for O to quote, commence his study. I repeat, O was five. His wife heroed was still in Russia with their baby daughter. They had separated. Alan added ominously, quote.

Things are less than amicable. She might make attempts to contact you with a request detrimental to mine and O's interests. Unquote. I immediately texted my brother Keith, who was closer to Alan. So our cousin has kidnapped his son and abandoned his daughter? The answer would appear to be maybe, my brother responded. Just a note, this isn't the big shocking thing I was talking about earlier, but we're still a few years away from that.

I called my dad. He told me that Alan had just shown up at his house on Cape Cod without warning. His five-year-old son was with him, as was Lena, my dad's sister. I asked my dad if we should do something about the maybe kidnapping, like I dunno, contact the FBI?

This was the wrong thing to say to a guy who grew up in the Soviet Union. He would never call the authorities on his sister and nephew. What he did do was post a picture of O on Facebook. Perhaps a message in a bottle for O's mom? Sure enough, my father immediately heard from her.

Her name is Priscilla. Priscilla wrote to my dad describing the ordeal she was enduring. She said she had gone on a short business trip to Zimbabwe, and when she returned, she discovered that Alan had left with their son. It had been about a week, and only now, from seeing my father's Facebook post, was she learning anything more.

Priscilla wrote, I beg you please to help me get my son back, or to at least speak to him. Please do not tell them I have written to you. If you are unable to help me, then just ignore my message. I received a long letter from Priscilla, but I just ignored it. My father can be quite literal. So what did you think was going on then? I understood that something is wrong with their marriage, but beyond that, no. Like I said, my family's elastic.

To keep it that way, my father preferred not to know too much. And it wasn't just him. My three younger brothers, their partners, my own grown son, assorted friends of my father's, everyone acted like, hey, sometimes men and their mothers just change continents with a five year old in tow. And here's the thing. They were fun. My father loves having family around. The whole reason he lives in a big house on Cape Cod is so that his four kids and five grandkids gather around him.

But the house has seen better days, and all the kids and some of the grandkids have busy lives. Alan and Dana and O's arrival on the scene breathed new life into the house and the family. Lena would come up with ridiculous activities like let's write the guess and family. and was always taking black and white pictures that made us all look like more stylish versions of ourselves. Alan was always driving up on his Tesla, but

En tales of new business ventures. I found him ridiculous, but my youngest brothers and my oldest son hung on every word. Alan would sit on the couch with these very and scrolls for pictures of women on Tinder. They all look like models. Alan was bald as a billiard ball and had a giant protruding belly. He claimed that he had matched with all of those. After a while, Alan was eager to talk about why he had taken O.

He claimed that Priscilla was a bad mother. She partied all the time. She did drugs. She cheated on Alan. To me, these sounded like good reasons to get a divorce, not to take your child from his mother. Lena had her own complaint. She said Priscilla didn't read to her child, and perhaps even worse, didn't read books herself. The only book she kept in the house, Lena claimed, was the Bible.

I thought, wait, this was why Lena and Alan took Priscilla's son away? There are a few things that I think justify separating a kid from his parent, but Lena and Alan didn't seem to think that much justification was required.

I couldn't stop thinking about what Priscilla must be going through. Without telling anyone in the family, I decided to reach out to her. I had met her only a couple of times, and barely had a sense of her. I knew that she worked in fashion. I knew from Lena that Priscilla's father owned a huge farm in Zimbabwe, and I knew that she would have no reason to trust me. I wasn't sure she'd respond. I texted her that I knew only Lena and Alan's side of the story. Priscilla rode back right away.

She was stuck in Russia. Her daughter, whom I'll call Elle, had been born via surrogacy because Priscilla was unable to carry a pregnancy to term. The baby was eight months old, but Priscilla still didn't have a birth certificate for her, which meant that they couldn't leave the country. We traded short messages back and forth. Our exchange was friendly, but guarded. I didn't want to overstep, and I think Priscilla tried to say only what needed to be said.

It was enough for me to sense that she was in anguish, and I was horrified. How could this woman's child just be taken away from her? How could my family just sit by? And what was going to happen to O now? Priscilla told me that the Russian police would not help her. The Zimbabwean Embassy said that she could file a petition under the Hague Convention, a treaty that specifically addresses situations when one parent abducts a child and takes them to another country.

But Priscilla needed legal help in the US. I could be useful here. I called a friend who connected Priscilla with a person in the Justice Department, who specializes in these kinds of cases. Priscilla also needed Lena Allen and O's physical address in the States, so she could begin the hague process. This I could definitely help with. I knew that they'd left Cape Cod for New York, which is where I live.

I invited my aunt, cousin, and nephew over for dinner. Allan was away on business, so Lena arrived with O, who got conscripted into a human pyramid by the young people of my household. As I slid turkey steaks into the oven, I asked Anna the question all New York City parents ask all other New York City parents Where will O go to school? He was about to turn six.

Lena said that she had no idea how schools even functioned in the city. Do let me explain this to you, I said, and took out my phone. What is your address? Let's see what district that is. Bingo. I had their address. Some weeks later, apparently on a lark, they moved to Massachusetts. I figured out that address too. I was a double agent fam. I tracked Lana, Alan, and O through their Facebook posts, messages to the family chat, and occasional weekends at my father's house on Cape Cod.

When they moved to a new house, I let Priscilla know. If I had news about O, I texted Priscilla. Sometimes she just asked for reassurance that he was alright. From all the men in my family, my father, my three brothers, and my son, I hid the fact that I was in touch with Priscilla. I thought they'd see what I was doing as disloyal and might rat me out to Alan. My daughter knew. It was a little bit exciting, but it also gave me an excuse for maintaining peace with my newly enlarged family.

But the more I hung out with them, the more I just hung out with them. O was growing, Alan and Lena were building a life. I watched. Sometimes I caught myself thinking that it was a pretty good life. Alan, Lena, and O moved into a farmhouse in Concord, Massachusetts. Lena furnished it silishly. They seem to spend most of their time actively raising O. They enrolled him in Jewish school, violin lessons, fencing, horseback riding, and I'm sure I'm still forgetting something.

They dressed O like a tiny little gentleman. complete with brogues and fedora hats. And by some sort of miracle the result wasn't annoying. Always a delight, curious, entertaining without being overbearing, and unfailingly polite. He seemed happy. Whatever damage being separated from his mother had done, I couldn't see it. What I could see was that he was doted on and thriving. To put it another way.

For me to admit that I was seeing this. Alan seemed like a great dad. Kind, attentive, devoted, and fun. Two years passed like that. Eventually Priscilla and L, who was now a toddler, made it to the United States. But I heard from my father that Priscus claim, filed under the Hague Convention, was going to be heard in federal court in Boston. The case would probably drag on for a while, but I assumed that Priscilla would now be able to see her son.

And then there it was on social media. Priscilla posted a picture of herself embracing O. I liked the picture. I figured my job was done. My time as a double agent, long over.

About four months later, Allan was arrested for kidnapping O. Not for the time he took O from Russia. This was new. That's after the break. In theory, I knew that this kind of thing can happen in any family. Anyone's first cousin could be plotting murder. And today Upstanding citizens are always turning out to be secret criminals. And I wouldn't even call my cousin Alan. You know my clients are cartel level guys, they're all badasses.

But it's one thing to know there is a more permanent way to do it. Is there? Yeah. More and more definite. It ended up being so much worse than I thought I knew. The price is eminently reasonable. Okay. What the hell was Alan thinking? Like let's just say that I'm a little bit stuff. Yeah, yeah, no, I get it. I'm I'm guessing. Wherever you get your podcasts.

Allan was arrested in Montreal, at the airport, when he, Lena and O were waiting to board a flight to London, without apparently Priscilla's knowledge. This time Alan went to jail. But no, this arrest and was We didn't exactly act like Alan's arrest was normal. We acted like it was absurd. I entertain my friends with stories of my serial kidnapping.

Lena kept the family updated with over dramatic notes on the Facebook family chat, and at least one video from Canada in which Alan, wearing a striped uniform, sings her Russian prison song. It looked like a cartoon. Allen spent a couple of weeks in Canadian detention, then another few weeks in a jail in upstate New York, and was finally released on his own recognizance. O was now living with Priscilla. Allen got out of jail in February 2022.

A couple of months after that, he sent out a missive in the family chat, as self important as the one that began this whole story. This time he was telling us that he and Priscilla had resolved their battle, which actually turned out to be true. They would now have shared custody of both kids. Alan said he was very pleased. I thought my God.

Did you have to go through all this, absconding with your son twice, keeping him separated from his mother for more than two years, just to arrive at a standard fifty? Custody agreement? This? Child support and shared custody? Is the boring end of this crazy story?

I felt a little relieved and a little dumb. Like maybe I'd bought too fully into other people's drama. Kidnapping charges against Alan were pending, they would later be dropped. And still, Priscilla was able to reach a peace agreement. After all he'd apparently put her and their son through. Well, maybe this was just the way they did things, with extreme flair.

Yeah. Then it happened. The thing. The bomb that went off in the middle of my family. So the day before uh Alan called me and said that he promised his kids to take them camping. July twenty twenty two. Under the new custody arrangement, it was Alan's weekend with the kids. He asked my dad, Hey, do you mind if me, my mom, and the kids camp out in your backyard on Cape Cod? I said, Of course. so they came

They brought some huge, huge tent, I never saw such a tent, before with a lot of furniture and lights and devices. Solar charges, rugs, two full mattresses, a treasure trunk with uh treasures, I guess. It was very Alan. Awesome, spectacular, ridiculous. Though later it occurred to me that this time at least, there may have been a point to this. He wanted everyone to remember his camping trip to my father's backyard.

Because it was summer, my father's house was full. Two of my younger brothers, one of them with his girlfriend, were there. Everyone had a nice dinner together and then went to bed, some people in the house, and Alan, Lena, and the kids in the tent. And then, around six the next morning, the dog, Alten, started going nuts. Someone was banging on the front door. So I opened the door a bit because not to let uh Altin out, also I didn't put my trousers on yet.

And uh and the guy, the policeman, said we are state police. cut your step out with your phone. My dad is surprised, but he's not panicking. He goes to get his pants and his phone. But by the by the by that time, because of all this uh noise and commotion and uh Alton's barking, Alyosha woke up. Alyosha is my cousin's Russian diminutive. Alan. And he came to the house to see what is going on. And police figured out that They are looking for him and not for me.

FBI agents go around the house banging on doors and make everyone sit down on the couches in the living room. No one understands what's going on. But soon, through the picture windows that look out on the backyard, they see two male FBI agents take Alan away in handcuffs. Then a female agent escorts the kids to another car. They all drive off. State troopers follow. Lana leaves too.

And did you know what uh once everybody left, did you have any idea what he had been arrested for? Not immediately, but then I learned uh from Lena about that. She was totally lost, but the only thing she knew that what was in this paper they gave her. What what was in the paper? Oh, that he is arrested for I don't uh I didn't I don't remember but murder for hire was there, yes. And Did you have any idea who he might have hired somebody to murder?

It was Priscilla. Alan, it seemed, had hired someone to kill Priscilla. the question was if it was true or not that's another story Some of us took the news in faster than others. The day after Allen's arrest, my brother Keith and I had a fight over the Justice Department press release, which identified the target only as P. C.

I was saying that it was obviously Priscilla, whose last name begins with a C. He was saying that it was obviously not Priscilla. Lena kept telling everyone that Alan had been set up by business rivals or Russian agents or the FBI or someone. But over the course of a few days it sank in. My cousin had been caught hiring someone to murder his ex-wife, the mother of his children. This was when it felt like we snapped. I certainly snapped. I was shocked at how shocked I was.

It's not that I felt bad for Alan or Lena, it's just how does something like this happen? How had it happened right here in my family, in between our silly dinners and chess games and kids' birthday parties? In theory, I knew that this kind of thing can happen in any family. Anyone's first cousin could be plotting murder. Upstanding citizens are always turning out to be secret criminals. And I wouldn't even call Alan an upstanding citizen.

But it's one thing to know and another thing to understand. I'm a reporter. At some of the hardest times of my life, like when I faced a dire medical diagnosis, I put on my reporter's hat and ask everyone a lot of questions. It has allowed me to wrap my mind Yeah. Alan was in jail, awaiting trial, so my project had to begin with Priscilla. alive. What she told me was so much worse than what I thought I knew. That's next time. I'm guessing.

The Idiot was reported and written by me, M. Gasson, and produced by Daniel Guillemette, with Andrei Barzemke and Luka Kramer of Liba Liba Studios. Our editor is Julie Snyder, additional editing by Ira Glass and Sari Koenig, research and fact checking by Ben Fhelan and Marisa Robertson Tucker. Original score by Allison Leighton Brown. Additional music. and Marian Lozano. The show was mixed by Phoebe Wang with additional mixing. It's serial production.

And Dave Chubu is our supervising producer. Mac Miller is our associate producer. Alright, bye, John. Credits Music by Bob Dylan. At the New York Times, our standards editor is Susan Wesling, Legal Review by Alamine Sumar. Green, Jackson Bush and I'm not sure. Our senior operations manager is Elizabeth Davis More. And Sam Dolnik is Deputy Managing Editor of the New York Times. To find out about our upcoming And more about this show. Sign up for the newsletter. At nytimes.com slash.

The Idiot is a production of Serial Productions and The New York Times.