Ep 85: Summer Holidays - Easing The Transition

As a veteran in navigating the world of neurodiversity in a UK education system , I've uncovered a wealth of misinformation , alongside many answers and solutions that were never taught to me in medical school or in any of the parenting handbooks . Each week on this podcast I will be bringing the experts to your ears to empower you on your parenting crusade .

In this episode I'm excited to bring you the first episode of our special summer Pocket Rocket series . Today we're going to dive into a topic that's really close to my heart transitions , change and why they can be so challenging for our neurodiverse children . Before we get started , let me share a personal story about my daughter Alexandra .

She's a super bright , creative and energetic girl and she loves her holidays . But every year , as we transition from school to holidays or even back again , I notice a significant shift in her . The transition from a structured environment of school to the unstructured days of summer is incredibly tough for her .

She struggles with the change in routine the different places we might visit , any new foods we might be eating and even sleeping in a different bed when we go away on holiday . Each of these changes , which might seem minor to some , can really become a mountain for Alexandra to climb .

One summer we decided to take a family holiday to a beautiful Victorian apartment Airbnb located right across from the beach on the northern coast of France . I was super excited . She was super excited . We'd been traveling for hours and as soon as we arrived she began to become overwhelmed .

The unfamiliar surroundings , the different smells , the sounds of all the other people that you could hear in the building , which was quite loud , and even the need to go to sleep in a new room were too much for her .

She had a meltdown of such unbelievable proportions on the first night that I actually considered packing everything up and turning the car around and driving the six hours back to the UK , but we didn't . We stuck it out , but it took us a few days to help her adjust and to get used to where we were and start really enjoying the holiday .

This experiences , and many others like it , have taught me a lot about why transitions are particularly hard for children with neurodiversity , such as , you know , adhd , autism and dyslexia . All of them find transitions difficult for different reasons . Alexandra even herself will say to me mommy , I just don't like change , and that's a . There's a real truth to that .

So being cognizant of that is really important . But you know , with my medical hat on , I also wanted to look at you know why , from a medical perspective , do children with neurodiversities find it challenging ?

From a medical standpoint , children with neurodiversity often have a heightened sensitivity to sensory input and a strong preference for routine and predictability input and a strong preference for routine and predictability . This can make change , no matter how small , feel incredibly disruptive and stressful for everyone .

My daughter will say , hands down her heart , mommy , I don't like change . And she has ADHD , attention deficit , hyperactivity disorder . Transitions can be really difficult because they often struggle with executive functioning skills . These include planning , organizing and managing time .

Moving from one activity to another or transitioning from one environment to another , especially when it's unexpected , can lead to frustration and anxiety . Children with autism also have a strong need for routine and predictability . Sudden changes can be really overwhelming because they lack that level of flexibility in thinking .

This can lead to anxiety and behavioral outbursts as a way of coping with the uncertainty . Dyslexic children also can struggle with changes in routine because it can exasperate feelings of insecurity and stress .

The added pressure of having to adapt in new environments can make it harder for them to concentrate and process information again , leading to increases in frustration . One aspect , though , that is often overlooked is sensory processing difficulties that many neurodiverse children experience .

Changes in the environment can mean new and unfamiliar sensory inputs which can be overwhelming . There can be new sounds , different lights , even different smells , which can be distressing . Understanding this sensory aspect can be crucial in helping our children manage transitions more effectively .

So what can we do as parents to help our children navigate these transitions more smoothly ? Well , first , preparation is key . Try to prepare your child in advance for any changes in routine . You can use things like visual schedules or social stories , or actually just use simple conversation to explain what's going to happen , and do that on multiple times .

So , for example , if you're going on holiday , you know , show them pictures of where you're going , where you're going to stay and what you're going to do , and talk about it with them , and don't just do it once . Do it quite a few times so they become familiar with it . This can help reduce the anxiety of the unknown .

Second , keep some of the elements of their routine consistent . So , for example , when we go into holiday we have in the beginning very much the same time going to bed , the same time waking up and the same routine of having breakfast getting ready , and then instead of going to school we'll go , you know , walk the dog or go do something .

So it builds that routine and that familiarity and it helps her to adjust to going away from a very structured we need to get ready for school to okay , we're getting ready to be on holiday . Thirdly , you can use transitional objects and activities .

So if your child likes a particular book or a game , you can use that as a bridge between the two changes in activities . So , for example , let's say you're at a new place and you're going to go on a boat trip .

In between being in the new place and going on the boat trip , you sit down and take a couple of minutes to either read a couple chapters in a book or play a card game . So it makes them feel more familiar in the unfamiliar . It makes them feel more familiar in the unfamiliar . Fourth thing that you can do is practice at home .

First , transitions in a relatively low stress environment compared to being on holiday . So you know you can role play and this can be fun because you can do it like you're , you know , an actor or you know doing a play .

My daughter loves acting , so she absolutely loves to do this and you can practice , you know changing from one activity to the next and you know not knowing what that's going to be , because either one of you can choose what you're changing to .

But also , in addition to these strategies , it's really important to consider the physical environment because of those sensory issues that we mentioned before . So it's really important when traveling to recreate a kind of familiar sleep environment .

So bring some stuff from your child's bedroom that is going to make them feel like they've got a little bit of home away from home . You know their favorite stuffed animal my daughter has crystals that she likes to travel with . I often burn some sage incense for her because it calms her down .

So I'll bring that and I can put that anywhere , so she has the smell as well . And then we use a meditation tape as well , or CD . It's actually on her iPad I'm dating myself there so she's got the same sounds that she would normally have .

So we've got the smell , the sounds and we've got the familiar objects , and that really helps to create a sense of comfort . Another practical tip is to use a countdown approach .

So if you're planning a trip , let's say in a week or a month , you can remind your child how many days are left , and a calendar is a great way to do this , and it's so much fun in the evening to say , oh , let's cross off another day . Only this many more sleeps to go , only two more sleeps to go , only one more sleep to go .

So it helps them to start mentally preparing that there's going to be a change coming up and it can reduce the anxiety about that being just unknown . Routine charts can also be a lifesaver , I think , and these are visual guides that kind of say what's going to go on in the day .

And I know my daughter , when we don't have a planned day , like in a holiday or when we go on vacation , she's like what are we going to do tomorrow ? And then what are we going to do ? And then I'll tell her and then she can't remember it . And then she asked me again what are we going to do ?

And then I'll tell her and then she can't remember it and then she asked me again . And it creates anxiety . So having a little schedule if this is what we're going to do today , this is what we're going to do tomorrow that she can look at and refer back to has been really helpful . You know it's a reduces the anxiety again .

It's also essential for us parents and you know it can . It is really stressful . You're often , you know you're juggling work while they're at home or the stress of traveling . You need to be able to give your child that time to adjust because you know transitions can be exhausting both emotionally and physically .

So allow your child some downtime to process the changes can really be a big help .

This might , you know , mean , you know , scheduling some quiet time or planning fewer activities , not making an action-packed days of stuff , but allowing that downtime , allowing that processing time and , lastly , provide lots of positive reinforcement and reassurance , celebrate their small successes and offer a lot of praise and encouragement .

And I think it's also important to let your child know that it's okay to feel anxious and that you're there to support them and to help them .

Remember , the key thing to take away from today's episode is that preparation and consistency are your best allies in helping your neurodiverse child navigate transitions and change by providing a predictable environment and preparing them for the changes you can really help reduce their anxiety and make their transition smoother .

Thank you again for joining me Send Parenting Tribe . I hope you found this episode helpful . As our summer pocket rock fit series kicks off , remember you're not alone in this journey . We are here to support each other every step of the way .

Don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss the next week's episode , where we're going to be coping with emotional and violent outbursts , which tend to increase during the holiday period and tend to increase during periods of change . I look forward to catching up next week . Have a wonderful week ahead .