We rescued a precious 9 month old puppy 😃 From my dad who was mistreating her 😞 This saga started years ago and has been painful, but has finally lead to this wonderful moment with an adorable all-white shepherd mix happily chomping on ice from her frozen lick bowl on the carpet in front of me as I type this. For the first time in her little life she is safe and prioritized and so very loved. This is the whole story!!- - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. S...
Jun 24, 2025•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 37
- - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Apr 23, 2025•34 min•Ep. 36
The end of ~The American Experiment~ is upon us. Here is some advice from one person who has lived the majority of her life under the oppressive thumb of Christian Authoritarianism. - - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Nov 21, 2024•52 min•Ep. 35
I just can't be close with men anymore. These are some reasons why. - - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Sep 19, 2024•48 min•Ep. 34
Change is rolling in and I am afraid of it for the first time ever. I used to love change, change meant things might get better! But life feels so good in solitude that I am scared to re-emerge. But re-emerge I must. Can she make better life choices in the future? Stay tuned to find out!- - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Sep 05, 2024•27 min•Ep. 33
***Editor's note: every time I gesture towards the table in this episode, there is a very annoying sound that happens that I could not hear until I started editing. I am so sorry. Me, the table and the mic are going to meet up and solve this before next week. This week's episode is mostly about how I lived half of my life very traditionally and now everything I desire is very untraditional and how strange that is and what I've learned from the drastic shifts and how I'm moving forward and how yo...
Aug 08, 2024•47 min•Ep. 32
topics include but are not limited to: the fundamentalist religion to abuse pipeline Ballerina Farm Nara Smith the tradwife and the selfwife the danger and stupidity of The Strong-Willed Child by James Dobson lots of things i struggle with America's Sweethearts The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders the inherent grief that comes with deconstruction being primed for abuse by abuse systems and as always: a pep talk for you - - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show a...
Jul 31, 2024•50 min•Ep. 31
SELFWIFE episode 30 is about the importance of learning and prioritizing ~the basics~ late in life if you were never taught them in your formative years, including some of my current favorite basics that make me feel like I'm a great selfwife. Also sharing two new, easy, daily practices that I've implemented in my year of solitude, the importance of having the right tools and not keeping people in your life that make your stomach drop and your heart race on the regular.- - - - SELFWIFE is produc...
Jul 10, 2024•51 min•Ep. 30
**CW- child abuse, sexual assault, body dysmorphia and disordered eating are discussed** Telling you some stories about how the male gaze was made the center of my life by my m*m since toddlerhood, what that's led to in adulthood, and how I've seen the light now (and want you to, as well) .- - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Jun 26, 2024•57 min•Ep. 29
this episode is for the folks whose families hinder instead of help them // topics include: how to stay motivated, how to allow yourself to create if you don't come from creative people, the two dudes who made me believe i could make documentaries, continuing to create against odds and my decision not to make anything else until i'm out of student loan debt - - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" M...
Jun 12, 2024•43 min•Ep. 28
Will I ever not get sick to my stomach about marketing my work? Other topics discussed: Anxiety! Alcohol! Contrast! Leaving my phone outside overnight and having deep realizations! Just listen to the episode. - - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Jun 05, 2024•35 min•Ep. 27
topics discussed: getting an agent in LA auditioning the commercial i booked being called a blank canvas BEING a blank canvas unlearning being a blank canvas allowing new (old) inspiration in thoughts on tori amos stop making sense tom waits catching up with the world - - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
May 15, 2024•36 min•Ep. 26
Topics Discussed: Making my first Happy List at age 31 New therapist Creating small avenues to joy Being a reformed pick me The impact of your primary caretakers putting your needs last What we can learn from narcissists Changing my phone number two days before my birthday Eating the earth My changing tastebuds Not dieting, but teaching myself about food Being in the beginning stages of holding the boundaries I’ve developed - - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Bak...
Apr 24, 2024•51 min•Ep. 25
On episode 24 of SELFWIFE, I'm joined by my lifelong friend Coleen who grew up in the same very small, very strange, very fundamentalist Christian church that I did. In this ep we remember the good, the bad and the embarrassing - like performing at the local mall in a kids' Christian choir called "SOOL" but pronounced "soul" ☹️- - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Apr 03, 2024•1 hr 32 min•Ep. 24
a term i've coined for a phenomenon i've noticed that tricks vulnerable people into remaining in dangerous situations- - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Jan 17, 2024•48 min•Ep. 23
Diary episode - on: loss, lessons, deconstruction, building standards late in life, getting better at boundaries, not knowing what's next, sitting in the pain and through it all - prioritizing oneself, telling the stories of my life, cutting family off and the rocky path that is escaping abuse when it's all you've known. - - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Jan 10, 2024•45 min•Ep. 22
Day after day, we watch mass death and destruction in the name of religion. Tale as old as time. Islam, Judaism and Christianity are the three, main, Abrahamic Religions and that got me thinking, what would I think of this ~Abraham~ dude if I read about him now, years after I've left the faith, deconstructed my cult-like attachment to it, and educated myself about world religions and the existential human need for belief? That's what I'm exploring in this episode-- reading Genesis as a former Je...
Nov 22, 2023•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 21
as Israeli airstrikes continue to surge in Gaza, i'm seeing jokes about a new draft pop up all over the internet and i wondered all day about what that would look like these days. then i took the opportunity to ask my dad, who served in Vietnam as a Seabee from '68 to '71, what it was like being drafted as a teenager into a war he didn't believe in. he actually maintains that he *wasn't* drafted because he enlisted just before 18 so he could choose which branch he wanted to serve in. way to take...
Oct 25, 2023•52 min•Ep. 19
9 different things i've been practicing every day, for a little over a year now, to regulate and heal my nervous system 𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘- - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Sep 27, 2023•54 min•Ep. 16
more James Dobson intel and related realizations / the time my mom threatened to kill my cat for biting her / the time my mom tried to humiliate me out of being suicidal / men like Ru****l Br**d and why they are so dangerous / an abuser revokes their right to privacy, it's your story now ♡ - - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Sep 20, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 15
My first diary episode! Some stuff's been going on with my dad so I wanted to talk a bit about it + more about Ruby Franke and Jodi Hildebrandt and what the case is teaching me about my life.- - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Sep 14, 2023•52 min•Ep. 14
the Ruby Franke 8 Passengers arrest has blown my brain wide open and amongst a dozen other things, i've learned that everything (?) my mom put me through was directly taught to her by Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family. i'm not as alone as i thought and there are hundreds of thousands of us - adult children of his teachings who have CPTSD and have no idea how to connect with ourselves. this episode is the opening of a rabbit hole that has truly changed my perception of my entire life over t...
Sep 06, 2023•1 hr•Ep. 13
– on what i've learned about myself from living out of the same suitcase for the past year, on my relationship to being needed by others and how it's changing + a list of tangible steps i've taken to work through my myriad fears - - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Aug 30, 2023•53 min•Ep. 12
consider this a 1 hour and 36 minute intro class on Taylor Swift - the artist, the performer and the public figure. the episode includes interview clips, article excerpts and readings of her earliest lyrics. both fans and skeptics welcomed here! she’s a fascinating artist and she offers an immersive experience unlike any other. sit back, relax and let me school you on a woman i’ve been studying for 17 years. - - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork...
Aug 23, 2023•1 hr 37 min•Ep. 11
This is my first official ~on the road~ episode of SelfWife! For the past two weeks I've been visiting my dear friends of 15 years, Ginger and Julia, in Amador, California and then Strawberry, California. My initial solo video episode was eaten by the lack of wifi here so please enjoy this re-record in which we just have a fun conversation about our 15 year friendship, many embarrassing memories (in which i'm the embarrassing one), dudes we dated in our 20s who sucked, including the time me and ...
Aug 02, 2023•52 min•Ep. 10
on relationships, true partnership, what being hated by mom does to a person, learning to trust my intuition, and a bit of what i've learned from my very tumultuous relationship history - - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Jul 19, 2023•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 9
on my depression, my experiences with reiki healing, and all of my ~educated~ reasons for never having children - - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Jul 12, 2023•59 min•Ep. 8
I did Ayahuasca when I turned 30, here's what it was like and what I learned from it - - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Jun 21, 2023•39 min•Ep. 6
this week's topics include: my experiences with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Somatic Healing, how to find affordable therapy / healing, CPTSD and getting better- - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
Jun 14, 2023•48 min•Ep. 5
If you're curious what it was like to grow up in Gwen Shamblin's eating disorder cult profiled in HBO's The Way Down, I can tell you because I did. In this episode I talk about what it was like, how I realized it was harmful, Gwen's sudden death, my recovery, and cultivating a positive relationship with food for the first time in my LIFE. - - - - SELFWIFE is produced, hosted, edited and mixed by Ani Easton Baker. Show artwork by Jesse Case. Intro song: "ASMR Falling Forever" MM Music
May 31, 2023•52 min•Ep. 4
