Today's doseph Yea is brought to you by Lowbroskoon Butcher, who are calling on all ossis to reboot or reboot their health and lifestyle post pandemic with healthy habits. These are the yays of our lives. Busy and happy are not the same thing. We too rarely question what makes the heart seeing. We work, then we rest, but rarely we play and often don't realize there's more than one way. So this is the platforms to hear and explore the stories of those who found lives.
They adore the good, bad and ugly. The best and worst days will bear all the facets of seizing your Yea.
I'm Sarah Davidson or Spoonful of Sarah, a lawyer turned funentrepreneur who swapped the suits and heels to co found Matcha Maiden and Matcha Milk Bar. Ces Ya is a series of conversations on finding a life you love and exploring the self doubt, challenge, joy and fulfillment along the way.
Uh yuh, He's back.
Welcome back Bim, Welcome back Yeighborhood to June.
This is going to be our first episode of June.
It feels like the first episode of the year, because we haven't done one in so long.
I know, I was going to say, we've got to kick off with the weekly rap that's kind of turned into like a monthly quarterly.
Rap because it was so bad.
Although okay, not only have we both been losing our voices taking turns which we can cover, but we've been kind of like otherwise, just having lots of general random life stuff going on and serving up the ya's in
like all weird orders and odd structures. But I thought of a quote of the ya for this episode that's kind of on that whole note that I saw the other day and I thought was such a good reminder because I needed it, so maybe some of the neighborhood might need it too, which is that if you're getting worried that you're kind of not sticking to the timeframe, or you know, for whatever reason, you get to the nearly middle of the year and start to think, oh my god, I haven't done all the things that I
really want to do, or I'm not where I thought I would be. My quote for you is it is impossible to fall behind in your own life because your pathway is on its own timetable isn't that such a nice quote?
I really like that. BIM also really relevant too, because I feel like we're all feeling a little bit fidgety at the minute.
Isn't everyone fidgety? I agree?
And I also feel like the speed at which June has approached and where suddenly like people are talking about end of financial year staff and it's just I mean, God, if everyone on the show had a doll for every time I start the episode by winging about how quickly time is going, you don't be millionaires. I feel like time is going so quickly, but you know, that kind of mid year milestone really makes you stop and think,
am I where I wanted to be? And I think, like that's when we need the reminder, like there is no timetable, there's no schedule. The fact that anyone's getting anything done after the past couple of years is a miracle, honestly.
You know when sometimes you're like, I want time to go by quickly because I'm excited for something, But when you're fidgety and you're kind of in between or in cross grows, you almost want more time to think about it, And then time happens so quickly and you're like, oh shit, I like make a decision, but you.
Really, I like got my head together.
Yeah, genuinely, that's been me. I'm like, ah, damn, I really want to look forward to my holiday at end of the year. But I'm also kind of like, oh wait, I wanted a little bit more time to kind of just live in this moment right now when things are like happening or brewing or whatever it is. It's all happening, isn't it.
It's all happening.
I also feel like, just from conversations over the past couple of weeks, it's also like we've kind of been able to get back to a bit of normality, Like life is a little bit more resembling pre pandemic kind of life. But I think because we've had so much emotional upheaval, everyone's tired and they're being so hard on themselves that things look normal, but they're capacity maybe still is not up to normal or their energy or their
like togetherness. Like I just constantly am dropping the ball on dates and meetings and replying emails and stuff, and I'm so hard on myself because I'm like I'm applying normal standards again because life looks a little bit normal. But then you've got to remind yourself like we've just been through years worth of such a huge, like unique experience, Like, don't worry if you're not back to exactly hat.
Do you know what I mean? Do you kind of feel that too?
Yeah, bim. Also, who are you going on dates with?
Well? I had my husband back, which was really nice, so we can talk about that.
But before we get into our weekly monthly wrap or whatever, I just also have to say to the neighborhood, I hope you've been enjoying our Seek mini series so far. We're interrupting the flow of the mini series with a couple of episodes in between.
I'm so glad.
I've had some lovely messages that it's given some of you the kick up the butt that you've been needing to take advantage of the great job boom, which is so exciting. We do have one more episode to come, but because of this kind of lack of normality, everyone losing their marbles, recording schedules all over the place, there's a little break. So we have one more episode to come, but we're just squeezing in a few episodes in between.
Like I said, better to do something imperfectly than nothing flawlessly.
That's my vibe at the moment.
Oh you, Bim, tell me about your past couple of weeks. And also, guys, we haven't had an actual catch up call at all. This is thet we're doing our catch up live. I started to say, how is your week? How was camping?
And you were like, should we preach record?
So yeah, yeah, because we just asked to say I feel honored that you're part of our relationship, or.
Just feel like annoyed that the fact that we're using this as a means to catch up.
Yeah, Bim, tell me what's your wrap? Yeah?
Bill, I've got the biggest ever cold saw on my lip right now and I don't ever really get cold sauce, So I think that's just testament to how cold it is at the minute and how sore I'm feeling.
It is cold. We're in it.
What did they call it an icy snap or a chili snap or something the big chill?
I don't know, but I'm currently eating pea snaps. So that's all I can contribute. Last couple of weeks, Spim, we went camping.
That was also just quickly I need to check are you going to charge me extra for the guest appearance of your cold saw.
I don't get it, like it's got its own postcode. Dude is an allucial guest for this episode you.
Can live rent free. It just wants to say something.
What's is that, Patricia?
It's actually Katt. It's hot. You look so hot today like a sun rise.
Okay, so did coutut go camping?
Nod came after camping because it's a bit considerate like that nice. No, we went camping last week, So me and two friends and workwhiles and lads decided that we ordered a break. So we booked this probably I don't know, two months ago. I felt like that we didn't really take into consideration that would be probably arctic weathers. So we went and we're like, oh it's cold. So we literally could filled up a whole huge as for drive
of just doners. Like we were such not like some would say it's between a lamp and a camp but I just say we went wild camping, but we really we were at a caravan park and it had amenities and we had a fire and the kitchen and showers and toilet.
Okay about BM, were you roughing it or no.
We were roughing at I did about twelve bushwheez, so I'm pretty sure there was a lot of shaking up the bottom air drying or roughing it happening. So yes, we definitely rubbing up with the kettle that we brought.
Oh my god.
So guys we have this in joke about roughing it because like once upon a time I said I've totally roughed it, when I had like not really roughed it at all. I just like, I don't know, camped one time with beautiful facilities and I was like, yeah, I rouffed it.
Like the whatever. Yeah, and t tricked in bags.
Six kilogram of luggage.
So meanwhile, me and my eight killers and carry on. Only, yes, we've been camping. It was I don't know. I think for people that even don't camp and don't consider them an outdoorsy people don't don't consider themselves an outdoorsy person. It's the cold saw. It's making my lips heavy.
Contour far.
So yeah, don't think that. Honestly, I'm just gonna have to yell, I'm gonna have to have a word with tonight.
I'm sorry, can't please take this offline? Just quickly. Do you guys need a minute or.
No?
So yes, but no we are Yes. I highly recommend Campus for anyone that just wants to get away. I think it was so nice. We brought these canvases and we bought these paints from Kmar that we it is a game that we love playing man lows. It's listally four dollars for the campus, four dollars for the paint, and it's actually quite good. And you have a timeframe and so you have five to seven minutes, and every five minutes or whatever time you said, you've got to change, you've got to swap the canvas.
So it's this guy you told me about this game.
And it is so much fun because you just don't know what you're going to get back. So it starts looking nice and it ends up looking like I don't know, you know, you know. The TikTok was like very nice picastle.
It was just like I don't mean to like speak before I finish, but it's like a masterpiece.
It's like the cattle. So we did that. We went hiking all days. Every day. We had no plan. I think that was one of the best things. Everything was just what we felt like doing on the day, and I think there's something to say about having friends that are easy. I think that was a big topic of conversation in the last couple of weeks, because like the week before I went down to Ocean Grove to see
laws and in laws as well. But we're just talking about easy friendships and how valuable they are and the fact that we, you know, all decided to go camping, but even two days before that, we didn't really know where we're doing or where we were going. We kind of just were like, Okay, let's go key, and everyone was like okay, let's go there, and like, so what
are you bringing? What are you bringing? It wasn't so stressful, whereas if you go I say, with a different group of people, then it becomes an actual another stress and you're constantly thinking about if the other person will enjoy it or they will enjoy it, it ll if everyone's in agreement. Whereas for us, it was a really it's our friendship
is really easy. So we just chatted about random stuff for four days straight on the car trips and the hikes, and I don't even know how you can have that much to talk about, but it was just random things. But it'd be like, so when you go to the toilet, do you use two squares or eight squares? And those are like the copies of my conversation. And then one would be like I used to.
Like, okay, name your top five vegetables.
Go literally I was like, okay, get alive five people you have dinner with? And the other two were like, are you serious? This is an intense question. And then they go like full out, full on like games, yeah, and so we chat about things like you know what.
You know I always do top five?
Yeah, top five? When you go to the shower, do you face towards the shower away from the shower? Like like what makes a good far? Like did you far? No? I fired it haha, so smelly. Like that was literally our whole four days of just being out there, like honestly testament to the easiness of our friendships. But I think afterwards we were like we did this thing. We were like, say any things that you're grateful for, you know, just as a reflection of the days we had off
because it's just been really mental at the hospital. It's really hard to kind of catch a break. And I think just the fact that it was just so easy. Genuinely, I could say that. I feel like I've said that so many times, but I feel like you could. Everyone has those easy friendships where it's no effort to be around. You're not overthinking, you're not thinking about what they might
be thinking about, what you'll think. What they're thinking is just like straight up and if you're bothered by something you say, and if you're not, then you're don't. But yeah, it was really really lovely. So highly recommend that, And I think that was the kind of the main things I've done in the last few weeks. I feel like you've been around the world and back though.
I've I'm so glad you had a nice time.
Let you guys sound like at the hospital, because you're all like these rows and laws of colleagues from the hospital. It sounds like you guys have just been so intense lately and you really need to find ways to decompress. And I feel like effortless friendships where you're not filtering yourself through any kind of expectation or fear or eggshells
or whatever it is, that's so restorative. And then to do it in nature, it's funny, like you put off things like this over and over, but then when you get.
There, you're like, why don't I do this all the time?
Yeah, And I think everyone would have been like, oh, it's so uncomfortable because it's so cold. But we kind of just like because we didn't stress about it, it didn't become a stressor like, it just didn't become a big
deal because we didn't overthink it. We kind of just got there and we were like, Okay, well we'll wear more clothes tonight, or we'll sit with the fire tonight, or and then we slept and we woke up like it just because all three of us were just chill about it, it just became a chill thing, Whereas I think if you had, you know, a group of people where half are like, oh, it's so cold all the time, it becomes like a real kind of brings down the vibes a bit. So yeah, it kind of was just
like I think we all just needed it. We had a really great time. I was very spontaneous and a very just because I smashed out all my work before, which meant that when I was there, I was there like previously, I probably would have done a little bit of work here a little bit of work there, whereas we kind of were all really nicely switched off, which was really great too.
But how was you you you went to Bali?
Yeah, yeah, I feel like when once we knew that travel was back on, we're like, okay, oh my god, make the most of it, Ah, And it's been amazing. Similar to you, it's sort of like you don't really break your own circuit.
I mean we say this all the time. It's harder to break your own circuit in your normal environment, in your normal home, where your normal obligations and your normal day to day stuff is, and your work. And you know, when you work from home, you're kind of in the same environment that you work and you sleep and you live in. And yeah, it's been really really great for the brain and the soul to get out of that, you know cycle and then come back to. And Bali
was so random, it was. I think we booked it really early in the year, before the year kind of had any like, we had no idea if we were actually going to be able to travel or not. And Leah and my so Nick obviously is my husband, and he's really good friend. And our really good friend is Ramsey who's Leah's partner, and they actually just announced their
pregnancy today, which is so exciting. But we were at a stage where the boys were traveling a lot and we were just at home, and we were like, Oh, we're going to just book a girl's trip and just not actually expecting we'd be able to do it. And it's funny if we in how we were saying before, like it's really hard to make time for downtime, or really hard to make time for things that aren't essential or that aren't work trips.
And I usually travel for work trips.
But because we'd booked it so far in advance, you kind of just build your life around it.
You just block out the time.
And suddenly it got to May tenth and I was like, oh my god, we're actually going away. And it was same as you. Really, we were all Leah brought a good friend of hers, Alex with her, who I'd only met once before, but we were all on the same page about what the trip was for and same thing. It was just effortless. It was just this random seven days that we had no reason to be there. There
was no work backing to it. It was just like the pure purpose of getting some sun, getting some good food into us, like eating healthily, having some like green smoothies, just stuff. It's so funny how quickly you can get out of your good routines. I've stopped taking like my vitamins. I've just been in a weird kind of chaotic mindset.
So to get away to do yoga every day, to read, to nap when we felt tired, to swim when we felt like swimming, like it was just beautiful to be like you away with two other people who were just so chill, who didn't need to get anything out of the trip. None of us had an agenda. Not having like plans for each day for a prolonged amount of days is so good for your brain.
Yeah, I think like the takeaway I K well, I think we went on ours after you went on yours, and you had the whole reflection of oh, like it was not a random coupling of people. But also it's like they're not you know, like your whole circle and stuff, and same with like you know, Bals and was like loss of Nights is one of my closest mates now. But in us our trio as a trio kind of we're quite newly formed in probably in the last you know, nine months, but it kind of just worked really well.
And then it's kind of refreshing actually to have like new people into your life and kind of spend more on other people and things like that. But I think, as you know, we can't always get to Bali. But I my recommendation would on a recommendation would be for everyone to book out of weekend of nothing but something, if that makes sense. Totally.
It's like a play to ya weekend, like a weekend for forgetting what time it is.
Yeah, And I think we're all like, oh, but it's so much effort to fly into state for two days, but it actually is really refreshing, you know, Like I spoke to a friend network who's going to Tazzy next weekend just for the weekend. And like the stuff that you can put in when you're actually away, you do so much more than when you kind of sit at home and do nothing. I feel like when I'm traveling totally, the days go on forever because you're just doing stuff
and having a lot of fun. You wake up early and you sleep late and all that jizz and it's just a bit of spice in your life, which is nice.
But the other thing that you know before it enough sorry enough.
But yeah, like I was saying before with BALI like, if I tried to plan that closer to it, I would have found reasons why I couldn't do it, you know, I would have been like, no, this came up, and
that came up. But because we booked it so early when there was no you know, nothing was booked in May, you just quarantine those times, you know, you just book it far enough in advance that then you plan everything around that, and it's it's so much easier to make time forlor And yeah, I think I also realized one of the things I really really love it is such a plata for me is getting people like Leah and Alex who I don't spend a lot of time day to day with but really enjoy the company and having
a bit of a blank slate to be like, oh my god, let's play the top five game. Like we had so much fun for hours just lying there being like what is your favorite fruit and why?
What are your top favorite beverages and why? And like TLL mean while you love.
Me in three words or less?
Yeah, make at twenty five words or less. Poem about the sunset right now?
Tell me?
Why?
Yeah?
Me?
And but you know what I mean, Like, I don't.
Think people make a lot of time to talk to other people when there's not an objective in the conversation.
There's always something you're trying to get.
And to just hang out with people and talk about why you guys prefer watermelon to berries is such a point less exercise in the scheme of goals or hustling. But I don't know, it just did something really nice to my brain, and I realized that's why I always play would you rather or do the top five?
Thing?
Because it's just such a silly, like time waster, but you learn something new. I don't know. We laughed so much. It was just so nice.
This was one of the most important questions that we asked in our camping trip. Would you rather have an extra toe on each foot or an extra nipple? Oh?
I think an Oh? I mean I was gonna say, oh, Paul, that was Paul. Everyone he says an extra nipple.
That's his contribution.
I would say I was going to say an extra toe because you would be wearing shoes, but then you're also going to be wearing a bra with your nipples, but you'll be wearing open toe shoes, so that's.
A really hard one.
Also, while we're on this, I feel like like a really fun thing for the neighborhood for this years of our live segment should be that they every week should submit their top five question like and we have to drusus what are out?
Yeah?
Or would you run? Oh my god, guys, please submit would you rathers? Every week for us?
Yeah? And in the comments on this post of whenever you post it, please comment just to like, but not with no context. But everyone gets really confused. Just write nipples or toe?
Yeah, oh that is our oyster? What are those things called? When you drop a thing? And the thing and then easter egg? Easter egg, golden egg? Oh my god, what was yours?
What did I say? I think I didn't even get to mind because we were laughing at so much that the other two responses because Ras kind of like confume, well almost was implying that he confused nipple for a whole breast, and we're like, no, we're not seeing a whole breast, it's just a whole just a single nipple where Well, I think that's up to you really, but it's a cople.
Of Also, I'm such a lawyer.
I'm like specifically where though next to the other in the middle in your belly, but like, where is it?
I think I would rather a toe extra toe, because.
I think that because you're anefort though.
Yeah, that's why I'm an toes. But I think from like a physiological standpoint, you're you're more likely to find people actually living with extra toes than with an extra nipple.
As in, you would have more of a community if you had an extra toe.
Yeah.
Yeah, have you met Crenandoler bowl?
Missando la Bong wonderful is coming out here anyway. The other thing we did also recently was we went to Harry Potter and the Curse Child.
Oh my god, I forgot what a play to YEA was that big?
That was a major plate toy. That was really fun.
It was like, guys, I can't even I can't even expet Blaine. So we are both obsessed with Harry Potter. That aside, if you'd never read a Harry Potter book or never seen a Harry Potter movie, you would still be in awe of how they did the special effects. How on earth could they make spells work on stage, and we had no idea how they did it.
Like that bed thing.
Okay, obviously I don't want to give any spoilers, but the bed.
Bit fomore dies alert. Sorry you had to say the other way around swell and let A Lendon said a spoiler.
Everyone knows that right though.
That was from the books.
Okay, it was glasses they're round, spoiler alert, spoiler alert, but it was in say I cannot recommend him highly.
I think one of the not deterrents.
But you had to find originally for the stage show like a full day because it was three hours and then a big to our interval, so there was a lunch and then you had a break and you went and got dinner, and then he came back and watched the other three hours. They've condensed it into one three hour show now so you can do it in a night. And it was magical, like we were play to ya Heaven you just escapism. It was so beautiful, Escaapism.
I went to work next the next day and I was flushing so hard.
I was like, you need to go, and you need to go, and you need it.
And I think people, a lot of people had actually already watched the two parts, which I have come to realize is from a magical standpoint, I think all of the magic that's in the condensed version was also in the long version, So I would say you, your wow factor is very very much to be the same or similar, but I hear this slightly more magic regardless though it's just I expected. Well. First of all, I was like,
is this a musical? I don't even know, And then they didn't start singing, and I was like, it's definitely not a musical, and I realized it's probably the first play that I've been to, and I just was on the edge of my shit the whole time because I was like, just how they utilize stage choreography and just everything was so refreshing, Like the story was really quite progressive. Actually the actors were quite young, like it has Harry Potter themes throughout the whole thing, but also kind of
like it's almost like a twenty first century, very modernize. Yeah, it's quite cool. And also I think you literally messaged me two days before like what are you doing Thursday? And I was like nothing, You're like, okay, let me check my schedule. Yeah, let me check my schedule of the things I do not do. And then we went and because I I think, I just said yes and I was so busy, I just said yes, and I say I'll see you there at the time that we
need to be there. And even that I feel was the best decision, because you don't you're not looking into things, You're not like hyping you stuff. You kind of just rock up and then you surprised by whatever happened. Like we were there at the premiere and there was like cool as booths and fire a fire ring and the.
Water was green and then and you put on flatform nine and three quarters.
I went on to.
A loser. May do you jump? So many there were people like col On, you know in there, like beautiful dresses, like you beautiful, and then like like really pretty and like lovely posts and then I'm here like trying to get my legs up as high as I can, and everyone around brought this chick and I.
Was like, I just walked away. I was like not maybe.
No, but we were like, guys, you can imagine anyone who's listened to gays of our lives before, wouldn't you can imagine what it is like to go to a play that has constant surprises with Ang, She's literally like and then something funny happens and she's like ha, and like the whole theater is staring at you.
I'm shrinking into my seat like I'm not with her.
So jobs or you'd.
Like get the joke like one milli second after everyone else, so the whole crowd would go ha ha, and you go ah ha.
Really or like something because I can't just control my excitement. Like when all the cool stuff happened around us, I was like whoa, whoa.
Then everyone would look at you. Oh God, what a great time.
So that's another recommendation. Everyone has to go. It's really affordable. Also, it was like one hundred and twenty fives where we went, so.
Damn do you Halla halla hallaaa?
Let me tell you. I literally hala la la la la la la la hella recommend.
That's still so funny to me. I also Halla halla halaa halla hola recommend.
Oh my god.
Paul is literally like not okay with me right now. It's like shut up, mom, vivid. Nick and I were back in the same state for like three days, the same state and country for three days and we had the cutest date weekend this past weekend in Sydney at Vivid, which just opened, and it was again one of those things you know how you were talking about, make time to go on a little adventure, no matter where it is, doesn't have to be Balley, can just be somewhere that
isn't your suburb or area. Going to Sydney, it puts you in a frame of mind as if you're a tourist, when you're like I love playing a tourist in your own country, but like in a different city. And if I was at home and you told me go and see this amazing light show, but it's going to be crowded, and like you know, the roadsbey and you can't get an uber blah blah, and it was cold, you know
I'd probably be like no, but we went. And the magic of like seeing something as if you're a tourist, just not only admiring like such an iconic Australian background, but seeing people's faces, like kids and families out enjoying just on the streets, walking around mass crowds, enjoying free artwork like projected onto the Harbor Bridge and the Upper House.
It was so special. Like Actually, I said in my caption that I posted.
That I got tiary, and I was like, oh my god, you sound like such a winker, But I actually got emotional, Like at night with lights, I was doing a U I was getting triggered by all the night lights and the city skyline, but then also seeing children's faces running around, smiling like kids who haven't been able to run around for years, and seeing people just so happy and in awe of like these incredible creations projected onto buildings and everyone just outside like it was so magical. It's on
till June eighteenth. There's like so many free installations. The light shows paired often with like custom created music tracks from famous DJs.
It was magical. I can't even say hala la la haigh. I recommend it. We had the best time. I also highly recommend being in the same state as your spouse. It's kind of nice.
Yeah, I was gonna say, we spoke at this the other week. I have seen I recoon that five times this year and it's quite sad.
And I two out of five have been at stage shows legit.
And I remember messaging you being like, Hi, what are you doing? And so I was like, oh, I'm quite tired. I was like, okay, cool, so.
I'm just going over.
You and You're like, but only if you want to, and I was like, I just didn't say anything, and then I was like.
Okay, on my way. I'm on my way, but only if you're like we don't. I don't have to. I'm on my way.
No house key, so you can't even pretend you're I'm not home because I'll just come inside.
You've been cleaning this weekend. And I was like, yes, I assure I am.
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Be yaying all day.
Okay.
Soh so our main theme thirty two minutes in, we totally have forgotten what our actual thing was that we were going to start with. Our episode today is dedicated to pla pl eh, which is a concept that has been very helpful in our friendship and I feel like could benefit some of the neighborhood as well. Basically, one day and chet me a message. We were just having our normal chats and one of us, you know, like
we often go through either synchronized or not synchronized. Synchronized, yeah, synchronized or not synchronized phases of just not coping.
Like we go from highly.
Functioning doing all the things, blah blah blah blah. But it's only possible because every now and then we have a complete and art and meltdown. And one day and was going through one of hers. They're either at the same time, which is a disaster, or they're separate. Also a disaster, and she sends me this message going plare, and I was like googling. You know, I'm old, right, So I was on Urban Dictionary, like what is plaire?
I was googling like what does player mean? Had no idea, and it brought up all these weird things and I was like, no, none.
Of them work. What is plait?
It's help backwards and it is how we now describe when you just can't when you just cannot, you can't reply, You're shit at messages and emails, you're off the grid, you're a terrible friend. You just don't want to do anything. You know, we all have those like days and weeks where just it's too much. And plaire as our like code word. Don't you think it's been the most useful?
Oh bim? We also plat came from an episode in Friends and Your Friends that was out there Joey. They're all stuck in like side of somewhere and there was like snowing. I don't know if it's snowing, but there was dirt, and he tried to get help, like support from a helicopter, and he wrote in the ground play and Chandler's like what is and he's like, it's so the helicopters can read it. So that's where we got
play from me just try to help backwards anyway. Sorry, No, I think that's one of the best things we did in our friendship for communications standpoint of really, I guess quantifying or qualifying like how how down and out you were, because you know you can say, oh, like, no, I'm really sad, like really is so like it's not it's not very definite. It's kind of whatever you want to
take from it. Whereas we kind of both define player as player is our last resort almost you know, like you're really not in a good space where it's like intervention is needed, kind of level of help needed, and we were strictly between us have only ever used it for that, which is why it's been so effective. I feel like if you if you say that between friends and then you kind of use it sometimes in stages where you're not that player, and then you kind of
get blurred lines of what player really means. So for us, we can't. We kind of defined it as a we kind of hit close to bottom in terms of where we are energy levels. It could just be from a burnout, could be from this actual mental health. It could be from just arrange whatever it is. We could be player or pre player or whatever it is.
Pre player. We also do pre player.
Pre player because it's not quite there yet, and we also know pre player is like I might make some decisions that are level, but just understand that it's so I can prevent the full player coming on.
That's right, that's right, that's right. Yeah. Yeah.
My other analogy of play is, you know how everyone has one thing that is the epitome of a promise, like if I pinky promise, yes, like for me and you pinky promise, I've never broken one. It's the highest level of promising. It's legitimate, it's all that's like for loss, for example, if Lots has to wear in my life, that's her ultimate, the ultimate, and for me it's pinky promise.
And you know everyone has one with their mates who that is the top, like the penultimate of promises or whatever it is.
The ultimate penultimate is second second highest, the second last.
Yeah, pen pen ultimate.
Is it pen pen ultimate ultimate or penultimate penultimate?
Oh yeah?
Plus plus is also when we're like something is that but dire It's like imppy plus plus or I'm like gonna wet my pants.
Plus plus means pullover well.
Plus plus is from our hospital how we document hospital notes, and it could be something that you know, patient was tired, plus plus like ROTI obviously I can't write in my medical notes recommends, so I write recommend sorry, and then so plaire is our version of you know, they hit and play. You know, you can set a player with your friends however you want, but play for us very much looks like like Sarah was saying, we become maybe unresponsive. We may become we may withdraw, we may say things,
we may be a bit more irritable. It's those things that you would do that afterwards you'd be like, you feel really guilty about. And it gets this vicious cycle of oh, I can't believe I said that to them,
because I feel so guilty about it now. But because we have clare the stuff that I used to feel really guilty about doing, like you know, being irritable, being short and sharp and snappy and somewhat even like sometimes even rude or like I don't know, bitchy, stuff that I would previously feel really guilty about, I still feel
guilty about. But I feel a little bit better about because I know that I've already told Sarah, I'm like, plare, so you know what to take and what not to take, which has really massively strengthen our friendship because we just as part of the reasons why we don't ever get into fights, it's because if I'm irritable, you can either sense it or you can you are kind of like are you play?
I'll literally say are you player? Like if I'm like, oh, something's off, I'm like, you play?
Or are you just being a bitch today?
That's right? You literally for real remember that truth?
And I was like, ah, is this plaire because otherwise, like stop doing that legit.
And more often than not, it's play.
Every time it's been, except the other day when I was like, Wow, you're just a bitch.
I just want to put on the side I'm not a bitch, and.
So your play those are the symptoms of your player. And my play is when I'm like totally just don't reply, like just don't not on top of dates or like what's going on, and I'm like, I use player when I'm like.
Can we please reschedule.
That's why we haven't done our like regular episodes because at various times and different times, we've both been like, I'm play tonight. I just my brain is not gonna have a good chat.
Yeah, And do you know what testament to us because we have never once questioned each other's player, and not once have I ever been annoyed at you, like are you being like I? Like, you know, I may fully be prepared and not go to dinner because we've got a podcast on. And if you're you know, if anyone else, i'd have been like, well that's really annoying. But if and it's like, I just have never I've reflected on it, and I've been like, well, every time serious is said play.
I know that we use play quite sparingly, despite how much we use it. Honestly, we're a mess.
How frequently we use it. We actually do use that very often.
It's seldom used every day.
I rarely use it every day every day.
I always sometimes use it only.
Scarcity of daily, but sporadically each minute.
Oh. What I was saying was that we are very respectful, which questioned it stronger.
No, But I think it has been really good because it does just distinguish I think in so many close friendships, particularly when you're quite like it in tune with each other and you want everyone to be happy, like when you're the kind of person who's like no, but really like often we will say no, I can I can do it. I can pull through even when like maybe you can't, because you you always want to do the right thing. And I think it's a good way to
make sure between really close mates. You know, often you'll say no, I don't care where we go, but you actually care, but you just don't want to say that because you want to go with the flow and be easy. It's a good way to be like okay, really though, like really are you okay or are you just saying you're okay? And you need to have a safe word so that you can get to the guts of like is this really how you feel or are you just saying that?
Yeah? And I think our player are so complex, and
I think it's because we complex. It's complex. You and I know each other so well that I think I've not that I've tried play with other people, but when I've become when I am play and I'm around people, you know that I can really consider like my best maids or close friends as well they don't necessarily quite get it as quickly, and it takes a little of time because like, for example, I might do something that sounds completely contradictory to what I've just said, but it
takes more effort for me to have to explain why that is the case, whereas I know with you, you just get it. If I I'm like no, but I I really need rest, And then I go to boxing, You're like, what the freak, Like, it's just I can't explain that, and I can't. It just is what happens. And then for someone to question that becomes even more like it triggers more irritability, you know, like oh, why, well you just told me you're tied. Why do you
do that? So it becomes like it's quite tricky. So for us, like I know, I know that I'll say things at a contradictory but I know that you know that. I'm like, literally, I'm not in a place to even make rational decisions, and therefore I'll probably just go and do and say random things because I just can't be
bothered having to explain that. And for you, yours is like a kind of full withdrawal, you know, postponing things but also inability to make a decision, like it'll be to the point where I know who's there that if the decision has to be made, it needs to be made for you. Yeah, even to the like so am I seeing you this week? Like you know you might have an answer, but really you don't actually have it.
You can't make that decision. So I would just say something like I'm gonna come over this week and then you can say yes. So no, like you know, if you really don't want me to just say it, but think even little things like you know, even tonight, I was like, do you want to do the podcast?
And you're like up to you and is like, I'm easy. That's my play. I'm easy. I can't no brain capacity, Just do you tell me what to do?
Because we know that of each other. Though I genuinely think that's why we have We don't really regularly have really quite deep fights. We don't really have fights at all, to be honest.
I don't think we've ever had a deep fight.
We've just had silly things because you got drunk and Patricia came out, and also because I didn't not you know, the only reason why we had the other way direction fight was because we didn't have Plaire, so I couldn't use player and you couldn't say you should be plaire. Yeah, we didn't have Plaire. You know, there's a whole new teent of this podcast called plare too. Yeah yeah, first play Yeah, because plenty, But hopefully it can emit it.
But hopefully hopefully the concept of player, as we've just explained it A makes sense to you guys, but b maybe is useful in some of your friendships. It really does just create so much space for us to just not have to use words to explain how we are. And for various reasons, I think both of us and everyone as we started the episode with, have been in various states of player, not really understanding why it's not
just going and we're not just feeling normal. But a lot in this first six months of this first semi normal looking this year, and most of you will know vague details that you know, Nick has been in and.
Out of the state.
We've been apart for a lot of the last few years with his dad's quite unwell, and that's been a huge player causer because you know, it's so up and down where we've had, yeah, so much dissonance and difficulty planning and lots of last minute and emotional up people, and it's it has it's been a lot on top
of everything to sort of not be played. But it's been so helpful to have a word that when it is just getting all a bit much, to be able to just say it and then like everything is, I just know you're on the same page.
Yeah, And I think the other reason why we wanted to bring that up was actually just kind of say that we're not like always okay. I think people assume that we're like really happy and whatever at the time, which we are, like actually, even when we're playing, we can still be happy, but we both hit pretty rock bottom like often and if not, like I'm not, I wouldn't say often, but we do do it, and then when it's bad, it is pretty bad, and like it
is pretty and gloom for a period of time. So if anyone is feeling a little bit plait at the moment, I hope you have someone that you can talk to or figure out what it is or go on that little spontaneous week and that we was chatting about that sense of refresh people a lot. But whatever it is, we hope that you're okay too, because I think you and I had probably felt the full brunt of it recently.
Well on this sart of this year, at least, I feel like I've been more play than I have been in a long time in this first six months.
Yeah, And I think it's like so good as a tool even for me, like you kind of introduce me to the concept, but for my own brain to be able to even recognize when you're feeling that way then helps you know, Okay, this is temporary, it won't last forever, this is not my life. This is just how I feel right now because of a certain set of circumstances.
And that also helps you navigate when you're in it as well, because you don't sort of, I don't know, it's just so human to have cycles of it being like you went for a couple of years without hardly saying play at all, and then you know, in a time of big change or big life decisions, it all comes thick and fast, and I think, I don't know, just having a word to navigate the whole ebbs and flows of feeling that you can tackle the world versus feeling like you can't.
It's helped you.
It's plaid a lot. It's very been, very playful.
No, you've got to keep play first.
Sad you can't, okay, except plenty Yeah, because it's not like yeah, it's not like yeah, it's not like yeah, I'm so excited. It's just like, yeah, we'll do a podcast one week and we're actually a player, and then you can actually know we have postponed every time that we're plaire. It would just not beyond brand. Like there's authenticity and then there's Plaire. Yeah, there's that's true, and then there's like I'm non verbal and you're just.
A So it's just not a fun time.
Talk to me, look to men, talk to me. No.
But you're like, bitch, but passag bitch. You're like, so, I don't know, like who has you know someone in this room? And I'm not going to say who. I'm not resting right now. Yeah it's not looking after her mental health, but I'm not going to say who.
You'd be like, oh, I never remember saying that it was eleven o'clock. Well, and then I'll just send nothing but a screenshot of you saying eleven o'clock.
Oh my god, the screenshots. Sorry, just above refer above at eleven oh six, this is what you said anyway, whatever you are, as per my last email embodied so guys, because of play being a little bit more heightened recently, but also just life and travel and like so many exciting things. One of the really weird but beautiful parts of this year for me personally has been not having
a plan. And I think that's you've probably heard me say quite a few times on the podcast that a silver lining of the pandemic was letting go of needing to have the whole year planned and really enjoying just kind of taking things as they go, which has continued to be amazing this year. But it also means that I haven't been planning very well, so with plant on top of that has meant things like big ideas that
we had. We asked for bike stories recently and we have a few really good ones, and we also asked for expressions of interest to join us for a Pino and Picasso session, painting and doing the fun things. Those are probably now going to be next financial year July onwards, sit down and replan everything because.
We're just going to get through the end of this financial year.
Make it to the end of June and go gently when your plan I feel like you really need to go gently and not you know, you're not on anyone's schedule. There's no reason why those needed to happen by June, and so I think it's been lovely to remind ourselves of that and be like, Okay, they're big projects. We've got so many good ideas, but like they'll be TBC. But still, if you do have a bike story, please let us know because the planning is in motion.
Yeah, bike stories plus please guys pulls hala hala la hala hala, recommend you send your bike stories. Yeah, because they've got cool things lined up, so how many cool things? Feels like someone else deserves a bike or loves bikes or.
Yeah, just send your stories to neighborhood watch bike stories.
Yeah, yeah, legit. We should also do ceramics, but we will organize that and leader. I think the best probably way to plan it is probably by the Facebook page now, so people would get the Facebook page if they want to get involved. It's probably the easiest way to create events and things like that.
Yeah, which I also need to be more on because I've been play on there as well, like the worst I'm the Actually.
You can't use plays like that. Now, that's not play.
I have been on that as in my player has been taken out on that page.
Oh right right. I was like, God, now we just said now I'm playing.
Has been player and you have woken up Claire.
My poo has been a bit player. But we don't have to talk about that.
So yeah, keep those coming, please send us, would you rathers for continuing episodes?
Also? When will this come out? Like almost straight away?
I don't know if we'll have time to do another one before I go away, but for the rest most of the rest of June, I'm going.
Or now honeymoon. Where are you going?
Well, I feel like people should guess and then I'll like do an episode about it because I think it'll be pretty insane. But Nick and I got married like nearly three years ago and it's been postponed a million times, and I'm so excited we're actually going and it's been like, yeah, a really hard time being together, so very much looking forward to that.
Okay, quick question, then where are you going wrong? Answer?
Only just one Afghanistan.
Well that Escalateddn's money. Okay, cool, cool man?
Cool positive the Bermuda triangle.
That's how your phone goes every time I text you.
Yes, that's because I'm you can't go back in my face.
I know, I'm sorry. I'm like, did you just throw your phone to triangle?
And then I just make you feel bad because I'm like, I play leave me alone. Also, it's so many other dot points for this episode.
But you know, whatever, I think we did, but I don't think we had.
We don't really have any neighborhood watch things because we're not that organized. I'm sure we will have more watch things when you come back from your honeymoon in Saudi Arabia.
My honeymoon in and.
Oh no, actually we're going to Phillip Islands.
Were just local is in Frankston.
I feel like I did have one more thing I was supposed to say, but I forgot.
Now I don't know, but I realized I wrote this little so sometimes you know how I journal and stuff. Sometimes I think too much in my brain and I can't write fast enough and it doesn't really fit a certain theme. I just want to get it out, so I've been like just typing things randomly.
Right, cute, You're you going to read it out. Is it show and tell?
It was showing tell because you know how the start we were talking about like not being on a plan. Yep, what was your first quote? Can you mean first quote again?
Yeah, it was it's impossible to fall behind in your own life. Your pathway is on its own timetable.
Okay, great, So now wow, it's just like crazy that this was the similar thoughts that I was having recently, and I wrote a little thing for myself, good what are we waiting for? Sometimes I write these and I don't read it back until I obviously just read it back one day, so and I feel like it's on the same wavelength of like decision making and like feeling like you're on a time frame, but also not at the same time. Anyway, don't know if it's helpful for anyone.
You can also cut it out if you want to. But we get in on this all right, Ready? What are we waiting for? The more I think about it, the more I realize that life is just a long
ass waiting game. We're all just waiting, waiting for the next time we can go on a holiday, Waiting for the other person to break up with us, waiting for a sign to do something we've always wanted to do, Waiting because next year is probably going to be a better year, or waiting to get more professional experience in the job that we're probably never going to go back to anyway, Waiting for someone to pop the question, Waiting for an opportunity to come so we can jump ship safely.
We're all just waiting for the next thing. Sounds cliche, but life is way too short to spend it waiting. I won't dismiss it waiting sometimes I actually need for some things. But waiting in the mulling kind of way, well, that's where we all get stuck. Life short. You can argue all you like, but each year April rolls around and we will have the same sentiments, Oh my gosh, it's already April or now June. The other week I had a woman come into the hospital whose main precipitating
symptoms was a headache. Eleven days later she was palliated. She was thirty five years old. And it sounds a bit morbid, But we are guaranteed almost nothing in life. I say almost nothing because it's one thing that we can guarantee ourselves, and that is to live the hell out of life whenever we can. The huge thing that we mil over when making decisions, more often than not, seem so small in retrospect, but we spend ages mulling and waiting and prolonging our ability to live our lives
because of it. No decision to change career is ever really permanent. There's always a way back, even if it isn't as easy as once was. No decision that makes it deeply happy and gives you purpose will ever be regretful. Sure it may not work, but in no way is it regrettable decision, because in that moment in your life is when you want it and need it at most. Maybe it's a catalyst for more change in your life and more joyful decision making. It doesn't mean you're throwing
away financial stability, or any stability in that matter. This means that you're finny in more meaningful and purposeful ways. Sometimes we're bound by the status of a job, by how our parents are able to introduce us to our friends, by the feeling that you need to stick it out. But what if we weren't. What if less bound and more fueled fueled by desire, I want to be happy to do things We love to live the life we want. What if we truly made decisions that let us live
the hell out of life? Or wouldn't that be a dream? Bam the end?
You need to write a book, do not dab.
No no, bim.
That was so beautiful and profound. Oh my god, now she's like deflection section. Stop it.
That was beautiful, beautiful way to end. Seriously, though, when's the book coming out?
Can you write that.
You pass around the painting? I think also instead of Pina pocaso, we should do that game. You should pass around the painting thing.
Which.
Yes, oh my god, I want to sit in a square. But whatever, be different, think outside the circle. But also I feel like you could finish, like you could write the cs A sequel, like you could finish my book that I started by finishing, like by oh my god, you know what I mean, You write the sequel.
Yeah, I know what you mean. No, I reckon. I'll write something one day, not necessarily like my profound thoughts of me in the stars at night feeling vulnerable, but more.
And Frank's diary.
Yeah, one day I'll write about BNOI but that'll come sometimes, please do I I was about to start it the other day, so I probably will start it and get at the ball rolling public sphere.
Yes, bim Okay, well, thank you so much, Bomby. That was a great catch up. We can do one more before I go away.
Yeah, we will try to do another one before if not, have the best time in.
I keep only being of war torn places like I need to stop Liberia, or just to be random things like Alexandra.
Melton melt.
Every time you say, every time anyone just Liberia. All I hear is Labia and it's not good, Bam, I may. It's just the sounds of the words, you know. Anyway, do you.
Know Amy Barber worked in Liberia?
Yeah, she's a freaking champ.
She's amazing.
I love Amy. I think I love Amy so much. Guys, if you haven't listened to Amy Barber's episode, go back to.
Two years ago. Incredible human being. Incredible.
I rate her as a real wife, human being and podcast human being.
Okay, okay, great a podcast human being.
It's true.
Iam, Thank you so
Much, Love you bye, love you bye.