Welcome to the Sees the Yay Podcast.
Busy and happy are not the same thing. We too rarely question what makes the heart seeing. We work, then we rest, but rarely we play and often don't realize there's more than one way. So this is a platform to hear and explore the stories of those who found lives.
They adore, the good, bad and ugly, the best and worst day will bear all the facets of seizing your yea. I'm Sarah Davidson or a spoonful of Sarah. A lawyer turned funentrepreneurs walked the suits and heels to co found Matcha Maiden and Matcha Milk bar cz Ya is a series of conversations on finding a life you love and exploring the self doubt, challenge, joy and fulfillment along the way. Welcome back, Bim, there you Bim.
Congratulations.
Oh my god, it's been like a month, Bim.
We can't keep starting the podcast like that.
What it's been a bomb?
Let's stay how long it's been. It's been seven weeks.
Welcome back. It has been a long time and we have had a really exciting announcement since then. But I love how you always are like this is brand new information, even though you knew on like day one. Okay, I have to say a minute one.
With your pregnancy, like we've just discussed we do this. I don't know why we did our catch up before.
We don't usually what do you mean before we started recording? Yeah, yeah, we usually do it on the record. Yeah. I was like, tell me everything in case. It was like, I don't know, don't want to make a puff. I don't know. Maybe I had some secrets.
Mean, no, no, I was saying that it's still every time it feels like news to me because I just I'm not doesn't register in my brain that you are with child.
I know. I think it's because I've got such a small bump. Yeah, still possible to not acknowledge it immediately.
That and that you physically don't like your face and your body doesn't look like that hasn't changed dramatically, and also your workload.
Okay, I'm still very a lot more. I mean I woke up at eleven thirty today. You were like, what times you we meet twelve?
I was like, yeah, yeah, I mentioned that at seven am, being like she remembers why for an these five hours?
I'm sure I replied it like eleventh thirty.
You like sounds good, like you were compromising for me.
That was actually one of the questions that someone asked.
I put up a little Q and A on Instagram, and because I always want to make sure that I'm answering questions you actually are interested in, and particularly with this is such a big lifestyle change that I really didn't want to suddenly just become a pregnancy page because even though that's a big part of my life and the page is, you know, just reflecting literally what is happening around me at the time, I know there are lots of people that it's not relevant to their life
stage or they're not so interested in it. So I didn't want to make it like my whole personality. So I was like, what are you actually interested in? What aren't you in? One of them was like, how did you hide it while you were like traveling around and work.
Genuinely, which we will get to. We will get to, and it was very interesting. But at the same time, I don't feel like you overly curate your page to reflect what people want to see, because even day to day I would always forget that you were pregnant because you just never made it like we every now and then we'd be like, oh my god, or every time we saw each other it'd be like, oh my god. But then we'd go and you'd paint the house and be like, oh, I wasn't meant to paint, or be like.
Hey, yeah, wait, hold on, I didn't check the like it's just Hume rating a lot.
Yeah, it just didn't really like you never really made it your whole identity. And I don't think you. I don't know. You just have so much going on that it's almost hard to that be your sole focus.
Which has actually been really nice because I feel like it's a really amazing life transition and so exciting. And of course there'll be a point when the baby actually arrives where it will consume everything for a short amount of time or a long amount of time, depending but right now it is really nice to still have a balance, like I don't want it to be everything I talk about,
even though I'm so excited about it. One of the nicest parts of it was actually keeping it a secret, because I don't ever keep secrets, like I share everything straight away, which I love. Like some people always ask, do you find it weird, and I'm like, no, I volunteer that information, like I love sharing.
I can't believe you're pregnant still, I'm telling you, unless I visualize like a newborn child in your arms.
Yeah, I'm like, nah, I know, I know, it's so weird, even we've been like that.
But it's crazy because there's so many So much of this pregnancy is feels perfect, like the house just happened and is finishing in ready entirely for baby, and then kind of like the changing of hands. Someone had commented it was like Paul's gift, which I thought was really cute.
Oh my god. I wrote a story the other day about how so one of the beautiful, beautiful things, even though I've cried so many tears knowing that Paul will never meet the baby, and that was really really hard for me because I just always envisioned that my pregnancy would involve Paul just being around, and he's such a support whenever you got whenever you don't feel well. You know,
dogs are like everything in those moments. But the week that he passed away was the Monday, and we were already pregnant, but we were in that agonizing weight, which we'll talk about after between knowing we were pregnant but hearing a heartbeat, which was kind of where we got the bad news earlier in the year, and our first
scan hearing the heartbeat was like two days later. So I kind of like I saw that as Paul like passing on his heartbeat to another little being and stop and crying because it was like kids like I can't be I can't be here, but I'll pass on my heartbeat to someone else. Oh my god, I lost it. I lost it. I lose it all the time. I know. But before we get to the pregnancy questions, what's happened?
I think we left it last episode on the amount of people who have also used on an empty cardboard toilet roll to white when there's no paper.
No, I would say the vast amount was like three other people that said okay, No.
I had so many dms of people being like anyone who says no is lying.
Anyone that says yes in a DM is hiding their truth. Leave your truth, honey, put it in the comment. Come on.
We've also been to Korea since then, which you guys know was incredibly, incredibly special and now you all appreciate I think why it was extra special knowing we had a little bundle and I did tell our foster parents that we were pregnant when we were there, and it was they I can't even explain, like they were crying already before we even told them, and then it was perfect. They brought a gift for Nick which was Jin saying, oh my god, koream Jin things like you know, for energy,
and they were like even better. We thought it was energy to like make a baby, and now it's energy to keep up with the baby.
Do they give like that root in a bottle thing?
It was in like little supplement sashet things.
Oh what's that one where it's like looks like a root in a bottle like preserved?
Probably couldn't bring that back into Australia.
We really just declaring that security we locked apart.
I love that show because.
It's like another Vietnamese process.
It's literally the stuff that he brings up, like, oh we got that one. I want to wrap that better.
Yeah.
So we've we've had a lot going on since our last because Nick and I did the Last Years of our Lives as a Diaries episode, which was so much fun. Have you listened to it yet yes, whatever, haven't you'd be so proud of him. So he actually opened up so much, except it was hilarious. I was like, what are your sort of biggest on day one? Like we did our surprise highlight and lesson every day and my surprise was like it's so clean, it's you know, just
normal people. Things like the skincare is amazing. And my highlight was wearing a hardback in public because it was so special to do something he was like economic growth, the GDP from the eighties now and Samsung and the founder of like day and.
The low light was you have to put your toy paper in a bin.
You know. The low light was he couldn't find any rubbish bins, so every day he had to carry his coffee cup until we got back.
To I've never really even registered that.
Because you don't carry coffee cup with you.
We our family love South Korea and I couldn't tell you why. I actually truly couldn't tell you why because I think people will say, if you compare South Korea Japan, it's most people automatically in Japan, and we love Japan. It'stillthing about South Korea.
See, I think if you've been to both, you resonate with the idea that Korea is like the cheekier loosis system.
Yeah, the pubescent teen version like.
Still has the efficiency, cleanliness, technological advances, like amazing cute cartoon characters and everything, but a little bit less rigid and orderly, a bit more.
Like cheeky, still super respectful, polite, so polite.
Yeah, yeah, he was hilarious. Every day he was like the bins, the economic growth markers, and then the other thing was the cute little fire hydrants that all sit on this little gold stand, And he was like every day he'd walk past and be like, well done, buddy, it looks like.
Is ready to be a dad? Nick is actually Dad's born ready? You know that Nick does that thing where he goes and he goes. You see that tree. When I was twelve, I ran, I ran past that tree so.
Fast you haven't seen me, you wouldn't know.
But this gravel path used to be bitumen.
And the economics behind bitchumen globally is.
That Nick Nick to he's like random as facts and then like somehow he was he makes it seem like he was born like a hundred years ago.
He was a well kind of. I mean we rode horses, but you know how like sometimes he doesn't let his whole personality shit in the Soul Diaries because we were recording on the go with the like portable mic, so he wasn't in like, oh, people are going to listen to this mode, So he just was chatting normally, like cracking all these weird dad jokes and yeah, I'll listened
on the way it's your laugh. So much like knowing him and knowing how he normally sounds when he knows he's being recorded versus and we were just like in the hotel room together. He was so like talking about the facial and how upset he was that like he had to take his aunties off and put on the disposable boxes. Yeah, that took up twenty minutes of the episode, which I was like Nikoy talking about Korean culture.
Would you do you if you like took your kid first ever holiday famine holiday? Would you do the would you do career? And meet the see the orphanage again?
I think I would like our child to have a consciousness of that maybe, like I feel like I would love to take them back as a baby for our foster parents and for everyone to meet them, but they won't have memories of that, so I think I'd probably want to wait until until they're a little bit older and could remember and maybe not appreciate the entire significance but kind of understand, well, you know, why they're there.
Whereas family holidays like Disneyland and stuff like that, that's exciting to a kid no matter what, Like, they don't need to understand what adoption means to kind of go there. So definitely it will be a big meaningful trip again when we get to take so ah ma, oh my god.
So much has been going on. So yes, I promise I will not make my whole personality this pregnancy, but we do have a lot of backlogged content given that we kept everything a secret for so long, And I think most of you will understand having you know, kind of come along the ride with us with our miscarriage and pregnancy lost earlier in the year. I understand that hesitant, you know, hesitation. I think to not just announce it straight away at twelve weeks because I've had a much
smaller bump. I also was like, I'm just going to wait until I feel like more secure in announcing it. You know, it did change things, and that's one of the questions.
So with even with I personally have some many questions that I feel like you should answer for the audience.
Oh yeah, can you please add your rero.
It's more like behind the scenes stuff, things like, yeah, when did you first tell someone and how did you tell them? How? Because I think in the last one we had questions about do you feel like it would kind of stunt the celebration of the next one?
Yeah, that was a question this time around as well.
And I think we discussed it in the miscarriage one when you said yes and no, like you a bit more cautious. What but I thought you wouldn't tell me until later, way later, for just from like a self protective mechanism response. But it was funny because how Sarah told me the first time she told me tell you, I was riding home from.
Get off your bike and pull over in an alleyway.
I was riding home in like pitch black, and you just found out you had messaged my partner and was like, where is aunt? And she was like at training or you were trying to get her to film my reaction, and I was riding home they do to do, and we're going to see each other the next day for a podcast. I couldn't wait, and I was like, oh,
And I was so blindsided. I didn't think you'd be pregnant, more so because I didn't think it'd be this fast after previous one and knowing that you'd only just done your one cycle of the hormone, and so you were like, oh, I'm going to take you something, and then I not. I actually didn't even think you'd say you're pregnant really, because you were like, oh are you where are you? And I was like, I'm riding home.
It's like, get off your bike.
I was like, she was like yeah, you like, get off your bike, get off the road. Okay, So I was riding holding this bike down pretty park, pitch black, middle of winter.
And then do that. Yeah, and then you would.
And then I said, do I need to sit down? Because no? You said no really, Because I was like, if I need to sit down, it'll probably probably be significant.
What did I just say?
Used a stand up the road? Yeah, You're like, oh no, just like just stop writing probably, And then you said it and I was like squealing. But then the optics of one single girl squealing in the middle of a park. Yeah, was not.
I didn't think it through.
So I sat down on the curb and I was like hyperventilating. I was like, we couldn't wait to it tomorrow and You're.
Like, no, no, couldn't couldn't do it? How could I wait?
And it was like six six weeks. I think you had the six was the scan? Yeah?
Yeah, no, it was literally like the minute I knew that, yeah, we had a heartbeat, I had to tell you. Yeah. And also because like I think, and we'll go into this when the question comes up, but I think also there are certain people who's routine in your life. It's impossible. Like the minute I said hard approached egg, you would have been like, like, you know, there's just certain things that are so Or if I said no ghast cheese, you just be like, Okay, that's hilarious. If I said
no alcohol, you'd be like whatever. But if I said no ghast cheese and a hard poach deck, you'd be like, summons up.
And then it would have been the whole painting thing.
Yeah, that's true, true, true, true.
I wait two more questions about it all. How did your family react.
Oh my gosh, they're so excited. Yeah, so excited like beside themselves.
Like the same as before, or they were a bit more cautious with their celebrations time.
I think they were the same. They were the same level excited, and then they were I think they understood that we would be more cautious, so they were a little bit more thoughtful about like buying presents or talking about getting the nursery ready and stuff. So they let us guide the pace a lot more. But they definitely them showing their excitement was not any more curtail to that mom is losing her actual shit.
Yeah, but your mom losing her shit is like I okay, I've found it a new analogy for your mom because she's like a cold golden retriever human.
Yeah one percent.
You know when goldies get so excited, yeah, like like their whole hip, but they don't like they like don't like like Poidon didn't bark, like they didn't like jump or anything. But he got so excited you have to.
It's like displaced.
So your mom's like like very physically like but like internally even more. But she like yeah, like that's your mom.
Yeah, And she's Mom. I mean, I don't. I think if you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you'll understand Mom's personality just from us talking about her. She is like a born caerra, like born to be a mother, a nurturer, a grandmother and adopted mother, a protector like and her whole life is toys and fairies and like she went, even when she has no one to buy for, she'll just walk into her DEAs kids and just look at cute stuff like she this is
her moment. She is so excited. So yeah, the family and my brother, oh my god, he lost it, lost his mind. And Alex he cried about the first about the miscarriage, like he's and he doesn't. You guys know he doesn't. He's twenty first, total hard nut and he was ready for for a little niece or nephew. And this time around saying the day we found out the gender, he was like you and had already had things in the cart and he was like, you need to tell me so I can order the girl another boy one
Like he's ready, He's so ready. Everyone's so excited.
Okay, I'll go into some questions that you of course, a type personality have categorized in chronological order well, because there was some that overlapped.
And I also have to say, I'm so grateful, and I know I say this every time we do a Q and A, but you guys always ask the most interesting, thoughtful, invested question, which then for me is the loveliest occasion to reflect because often you don't you don't ask yourself these questions otherwise, so I've already had fun just reading them and thinking, that's a really interesting question. I ever
thought of that. So thank you for always being so kind and never asking and no one ever asked anything inappropriate.
You have really great.
Community, so respectful, and I really I really love you guys for that. Yeah, and for being so excited about the pregnancy. Like I thought, Paul passing away broke the Internet, but like this rot.
Remember we were.
On the phone page.
We were on the phone because Sarah messaged me and it was like, oh, which photo you know, like those memes it's like to identify, yeah, your best your best friend response, as if they didn't help you just choose that photo.
And I literally said you and I was like which one? You're like the same, and I was like, no, I'm putting pretty much.
I just made the fifty to fifty chose one and I hope it was the one.
That you like. And then I was like, oh me too.
Yeah, you were like yeah, that one. I was like, wait, wait, which did you like? I was like, yeah, yeah, that one definitely for those exact same reasons. Tell me your reasons and i'll and I'll tell you it's so dull. And then yeah, I was on the phone with you as you posted it and it was going nuts.
It was so nice, so really lovely.
Anyway, So in order of chronological order of process of pregnancies, how you've categorized this?
Yes, And then there were three that I just that are more visual that I'll answer on Instagram, but I wanted to acknowledge them here because if I don't answer them, you might think where is the answer to that? And it will be on Instagram.
Yeah, I'll put that last for flow of order.
I don't put them first because I think one of them is like an int question, you know, for the flower of the ideas.
Okay, I don't know. I don't know which question of this flows, but I don't know. I can't remember the first one is bump friendly outfits.
Oh yeah, okay, so that's definitely a visual one and I'll share that on Instagram. And I also must say I have a very small bump, so I probably am not quite yet expert enough to share, but I have done a bit of bump hiding, so yes, we'll share that on Instagram. So keep your eyes. We've done a lot of bump, yeah, but like really small bump. And also the bump has done a lot of hiding, so yes, yeah, we'll talk about that also about the bump.
The next question I'm going to I'm going to hope the last question I asked is a good security, but which will you keep the gender a surprise?
Yeah, this was a really lovely question. We've already announced the gender. So the first post that we did with the ultrasound, I don't think i'd mentioned the gender in it. I didn't know that I hadn't like I didn't do that on purpose. But then a nurse was like, by the way, there's a massive penis in that.
Yeah, I know, I wouldn't know pick that out.
Well, I think once I'll show you. Once you look at it again. Healthcare people or anyone in maternity is like it's you know, and it's leg No, it's like, no, bim, you can see the legs as well. It's like he's growing. I'm like, oh, good boy, okay boy. And then I mentioned it in the second one, so we were getting it at all. Okay, But second part of that question is Nick refuse to do a gender reveal, like he was, so any you announce how you want, We do the video,
we do the post. Whatever makes you comfortable, and this is our baby. But like your pregnancy and your body changes, so you you dictate the narrative. Except I will not do a gender reveal.
Okay, I have to agree with that with Nick.
Yeah, he was like, never seen a good one. I've just they make me cring. She and you know, and yeah it's yeah. So he was like that's the only thing he put his foot down on. So we just like slipped it into a.
I could not imagine little dick and be like, oh.
My god, yeah, our poor baby has a But also we would have we would have done one with Paul a gender reveal. I think we could have like had him have like a doggy cake or like a balloon or something.
I was so.
We've known that for twelve years. No. I think if we could have involved Paul, it would have been like easy to make it. Yeah sweet but yeah.
And then the last of the three visual ones is will your content be changing to pregnancy pregnancy slash baby things?
Yes, lovely question, And as I mentioned before, I think, obviously I just kind of post whatever's happening in my life generally, so even when I'm traveling more, it becomes a travel account. When I'm not traveling, it's a home account. When I'm like run down, it's about health. So I think it'll be the same. I definitely don't want to turn it into like a baby pregnancy account, but I also don't I don't think i'll overthink it too much. I think I'll just post about what's happening, and part
of that will be about pregnancy. And already since announcing, it's only been a week or something, but I've done, you know, the two pregnancy posts, and then everything else has just been everything else I've been doing that wasn't related to pregnancy at all. So I think it'll just continue to be the same, and I will have conscious in the back of my mind that I don't want it to become my entire identity, but I also don't
want to curtail the celebration part of it. Yeah, and as so far, like I sort of apologize in advance for the bombardment in at least the next couple of weeks while we're backlogging through content and questions, but everyone was like, please keep posting, like we find it really interesting. A lot of people are on their conception journey or they're pregnant and you know, want the recommendations or there you know, they've had kids and they like reflecting on
that period. So yeah, I think I'll just keep my finger on the pulse with people's reactions and see.
Yeah, but I think also important to be the open person that you are, Like if you feel like you want to, yeah, if it's.
Like a very pregnancy heavy day, I'll talk about it. And then if I I've had days where I forget myself, so I think it'll be like balanced.
I just keep down with your ibs.
Well that too.
Again, now not mutually explain now into the pre trying stage.
Yes, and for anyone listening who who is trying to conceive or going through, you know, various parts of the trying to conceive process. There are a lot of questions about the miscarriage, so trigger warning for this section if you want to fast forward to the pregnancy part or let's give this episode altogether.
Yeah. Also on the topic of people trying, oh, okay, yeah, is more so just acknowledging that a lot of people haven't had, haven't had I'm still trying, yes, and it's a journey for everyone.
Absolutely appreciate that.
But first question, how long were you a hormonal contraceptive before trying?
Great question, and it's so hard to know. I mean, so many of us just got slapped on the pill when we were so young without really understanding. I came off the pill about twenty four about two years before starting to try, So how long it was I think
twenty four months. I think we thought it was to be a year, and then Nick's dad got really unwell, and then it and COVID and everything kind of delayed that us starting to actively try, which was fine because it took my body a while to get a natural cycle back, and I think I had fifty six day cycles, really really long for the first twelve to eighteen months. Maybe it was a bit less than two years, but it was definitely between sort of eighteen to twenty four months.
And how long were you on the pill?
Four like ten years more? I reckon ten years at it more maybe fifteen so I your dad. They was so like I was on it for a really long time. My cycles became regular, but they were long regular, so it was impossible to know when I was ovulating. And interestingly, after the miscarriage, they went back to normal thirty day cycles.
So right away, Yeah, I remember you showed me. You were like, you wouldn't believe it. It was No, it wasn't you were saying, it's exactly twenty eight days.
I think it was thirty, but still was between twenty eight and thirty from fifty.
Sixty sixty but consistent every single month.
Totally Consistentane and a lot of people have that anecdotal experience about a miscarriage kind of resetting your body's cycles. It's really interesting. Wow.
Yeah, okay, now into the miscarriage. Yep, did you do accupuntch of post miscarriage.
I've been a big acupuncture lover for many, many years, particularly through chronic fatigue. Has always been a really big part of my health and well being. Kind of toolkit but I didn't after the miscarriage because I gave my body.
I got my period back six weeks after the DNC operation, which was way quicker than I thought it was going to be, so especially in that first cycle, I just thought, just don't do anything like not just no acupuncture, no, nothing like, just let your body just figure out when it wants to get it cycle back. Just let it here. Be very gentle. I didn't really do anything. I just kind of ate well, slept well, was very gentle on myself.
And then once that came back, we were like, Okay, we've got one cycle naturally, which means we can technically start trying again. And that was the question will come up later, so I'll cover it in a different question. But that was the next cycle, we started ovulation induction as a sort of aid to trying to get pregnant.
So I thought, while I'm doing that protocol, I don't want to have too many things going on, not that they clash or anything, but I personally just wanted to be able to track what my body was responding to without having different possibilities. And then the third cycle we got pregnant, so I didn't actually ever revisit acapuncture, but I have heard wonderful, wonderful things about it, especially if it takes you a little bit longer.
Yeah, well, speaking of that question is kind of the next question is too, if you could tell us more about what ovulation induction is.
Yes, So, there are so many different stages in fertility spectrum, and one of them, for one of the kind of earlier less intense than IVF, less intense than IUI, is ovulation induction for people who have irregular cycles or just
don't know when they ovulate. So that makes it really hard to know when you can try because you can only try when you're ovulating, and that's sort of a two day, forty eight hour period, and then because of the life cycle of sperm and eggs, there's a few more days either side, but it's a very specific timed window. And when I had fifty six.
Day cycles, no idea.
That's just so impossible unless I was being on a stick every day, like I had no way of knowing. So your chances are already so messed up by just having no guidance about when. So because of that, the fertility specialist that I was working with suggested ovulation induction, which is the injection video that I uploaded. So it's a very small needle, looks like a pen and it's a trigger shot, so you give yourself the shot. They teach you how to do it. It's not a huge vaccination
type needle. It's like really small. You can ice it so your numb so you don't really feel it going. It wasn't nearly as scary as it looks, and that brings on your ovulation. So they give you ultrasounds and they check that you're getting close to natural ovulation, and then they'll say, okay, we think it's going to happen in the next sort of forty eight hours, so on this day take the injection and that guarantees that in
that block you will ovulate. So then they tell you it's very clinical, but they're like, you take the injection on this day and then you have sex on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, whatever it is, and that at least make sure that you're putting in the effort in a window where it's going to matter rather than you're just stabbing in the dark kind of thing.
And so how often do you have this have to have these ultrasounds for them to give you this window or is it just one, and then from there they can gauge for the next couple of months.
So you would usually start the appointments at the start of yours. So I think most people will We'll go and have an appointment at the start of their period so they know when the actual menstruation has started, and then you can kind of start tracking how many days it's been since your period. I did three different scans before they figured out I was close enough to take
the injection. I'm not sure. I haven't spoken to that many people who have done it otherwise, but I think what happens, at least with me, pricing wise, you pay for a cycle and you get as many scans as you need in that cycle, so you're not paying each scan. So if you need six scans, that's fine, if you need two, that's fine. It's not like the more scans you need, the more you pay. It's like you pay for the population reduction cycle, and that covers all the scans, all the medication.
Yeah, I see, okay, cool, And then it was the next question was how long between miscarriage and pregnancy? Like I think you kind of kind of touched on it in that answer.
Yeah, so three cycles read yeah. But interestingly, following on with the ovulation induction question, we didn't fall pregnant that cycle, so we did the injections. Some people have period symptoms after that. I kind of just had cramps. You do have to be a bit gentle with yourself. Some people get quite bloated. And then we followed exactly the days
they called it have relations, which is so gross. But that didn't work that cycle, and then we fell pregnant naturally, So we didn't do another ovulation induction cycle the next month because my cycles were getting so regular by then that we'd kind of figured out when it vaguely would be. And then we were also going to be overseas, so they were like, we can't scan you when you're overseas, so we might as well just take a break. You take the pea sticks and pee on them in this
vague window, and then you'll know same thing. They'll be like, it'll say, within forty eight hours, you lovula, and then you do it on these days and then that cycle, naturally we felt pregnant.
Kind of leads into the next question because the next question was did you consider IVF or conceiving naturally, which you end up ended up actually conceiving naturally, not needing povulation induction or even aUI.
Yes, so we had definitely considered the possibility that we would need to do IVF. IUI I think is the step. It's intra uterine insertion. I think it is in between population induction and IVF, And there's lots of different kind of steps you can take before. Sometimes if you have chronic end or something, you might get recommended to go straight to a certain stage based on your eggs and all the tests. All I would say is information is key, like the more you have to work with, the less
stabbing in the dark and not time wasting. But there are certain things that medically they could say are not likely, so you know, if you really want, if you really feel like you're running out of time. For us, we considered both, and we're ready for the fact that it could be really difficult. We had no kind of identified fertility problems, and the miscarriage they take the placenta after words and tests to see if there was a reason, and there was no reason. It was just a mathematical
it just happens. But we still thought it might be we might need to, and we definitely considered it, but we were very lucky that we didn't get that far into needing any more investigations. But we had definitely thought about it, and then we're very prepared for it given so many of our friends have done IVF. Mum did IVF for ten years.
Yeah, I think that. I think i UI is the first for same sex female couples, and then if some of them might go straight to IVF for something, but often they'll try aUI because cheaper.
Yes than the four accessible Yeah, and I think it's less invasive on your yeah body, so you still do egg collections. I never had to do a collections or anything, but you will have the same trigger injection before an egg collection as well. But we never yet had to go that far, which we were very very surprised about.
You, my friend, and then did you do anything differently this time?
It's funny that so much there's so much science and it can be really easy to get bugged down in like the research of if you stand on your head or if you do this, and blah blah blah. But the anecdotally, the biggest advice we got is like if you overthink it, and you add too much cortisol and stress around the whole thing. You make it a lot harder for your body to just do its thing. So that's why so many people go on holiday and often
when they stop trying so hard. I'm not saying go and stop trying hard, but just people have a lot of stories that it's the minute they kind of relax a little bit and go on to holidays. So we happen to have the wedding in Greece that you guys might remember, and because we couldn't do any population induction, we couldn't do any appointments. We were like, well, we know the timeframe, we'll try, but you know, this is not an intense trying cycle. This is a where overseas whatever.
And it was the weekend and of the wedding that I happened to be ovulating, So we were really relaxed. We were just warm and on a holiday and having the best time. And I would say the main thing we tried differently was not being stressed and trying to fit it in around work and trips and doctor's appointments,
and we weren't so focused on timing and everything. Yeah, it doesn't kind of surprise many people when I'm like, it was the weekend in Greece, They're like, well, here go, you're on holiday, you were relaxed, your cortisolt was low.
Yeah, I member you coming back and being like I was zened out because at that time the miscarriage article had also come out over in Greece, and so you had this mass relief because everything kind of was that you didn't have to hide that anymore, you didn't have to hold onto it by yourself, and then you had that massive relief, then all this support.
It was one of that same weekend.
Yea, it was a perfect little like how it happened for you to be completely stressed.
Free, and the timing is a coincidence, but it's also not. I think the way that we had so much closure around it, like the article AOL literally came out on I think Stella's a Saturday, and the wedding was that Saturday, and then I was ovulating that Saturday, like it's so weird. But the closure, the stress free, the separation from the daily grind eating like a Mediterranean diet, even things like that.
You know, we were just in Greece, so I know and then like, yeah, literally fourteen days later.
IDA believe I know this is I have to say, this is news to me. I didn't know that you conceived in grease?
Did I tell you?
I obviously don't ask.
I've watched my video you Dick, obviously, my announcement video like spells it out you are.
I feel like, what periods of it? And I'm like, oh, well, well do you know why? I sometimes because I know it all already. Yeah, I watched the start. I'm like, oh, yeah, I know this.
Yeah. Actually, fourteen days after.
Then I realized I don't sometimes. And I also obviously didn't ask for very good questions because for the whole time I've known, I didn't even know when your body conceived.
Yeah, so because we were tracking, Like if you're not tracking, it's sometimes hard. You know, people don't really know working backwards. I've always been like, when people like you were conceived that and I'm like, how do you know what was the exact night? But you do because you work out when you're counting, you know when you ovulate it, so it had to be in the ovulation period, and then you know when you get the positive pregnancy test. How
many days post ovulation. So one of the terms that you get very quickly initiated into is like a number DPO, which is day's post ovulation. And like some people get a positive pregnancy test as early as like seven or eight,
which is very rare, very very rare. And then also the pregnancy tests, some of them are like six days before you're missed, like very very early ones, so you kind of can get you know, really it's like twelve to fourteen days, but if the early test kind of can get tiny tiny levels of the hormone in your body. So I took all the early tests and they were obviously all negative because it was too early, so I'd
just written it off. And then on the fourteenth day, I was like, well, you know it's not this wasn't our time, blah blah blah, and then it was positive and I was like, I had like ten negative.
Tests because but fourteen days postovulation would be when you would probably have the missed period. No, because I actually normally is in the middle of late day fourteen to whatever. So people that's testing eight days obviously obviously actively trying, so you would be testing, yeah, but you would also have missed the period as your first sign if you didn't take that fourteen day test, no.
Yes, yeah, yea, yeah, so you're either counting from yeah, day's post expected period or day's postopulation. And also because some people's ovulation is closer to their period and some people it's further away, so it all depends on your body, but generally they will align ish around fourteen days. Yeah.
Well, and then speaking of now you're pregnant and now going through the chronological life cycle of this experience, did you hear phil any anxiety about being pregnant after just having lost your first.
One so much? I quickly acknowledged this on Instagram yesterday and had the most responses. I think to that slide, the idea that anyone who has experienced a pregnancy loss or any hiccups along the way will resonate with the fact that a really unfortunate but totally natural consequence of a bad experience or a tough experience that didn't go how you planned, is that you are so much more hesitant to celebrate. And that makes sense because you are
much more anxious. You do have PTSD, but just kind of you remember the weeks when things happened and the weeks when things should have happened by and it definitely changes. I think people who just have a very smooth first pregnancy without knowing that they body could not carry to
a certain time, not that they don't have anxiety. Of course, anyone pregnant has anxiety about making it to the twelve weeks and all that kind of thing that I think it's not imprinted in your brain so much so you just relax a little bit more, I think into each week, whereas with a miscarriage, you've got that particular week that had happened last time. That's a big line, and then looking out for certain symptoms, that's a huge line. I think it's just more paranoid. And that meant that I
did a lot of things differently. I told obviously, announced it at eighteen weeks, like a lot later than I expected. Announced it to friends and family a lot later, except friends who had known about the miscarriage. I told them earlier because I thought I would need the support of you, and again we celebrated internally a lot later. I just totally ignored it for the first eight to ten weeks. I just was like, I can't deal with how stressful
it would be to attach to this idea. So even the fact that I took not many photos, I didn't record anyone's reactions. I recorded yours. Last time, I recorded a few people's, but in our announcement videos, I didn't record anyone. And not that that's a marker, A lot of people don't record that, but in my world, I record everything. Yeah, like that's even just for me to keep the videos. I didn't want them in case because I had to delete a whole folder last time and
it was really tough. So I treated every stage of those early weeks as it'll be a bonus if I do stay pregnant. But I'm not going to assume I'll just ignore. And I think it's a shame because it takes a bit of the joy out of it.
Yeah, I think I didn't not like this is at all about me, but as someone to support a friend in pregnancy and not know how to respond, really all it was actually easier than I thought because all I did was mirror the excitement that you brought to it, Like you were like, oh my god, we're pregnant, and in that way, I just knew it was an exciting time. Yeah,
And I just straight up. So it's like, are you nervous and you said yes, And I agree fully that it was the eight to ten week period yeah, when you were really like even I was like, this is all good because you were like, this is all good because I think you had a really great relationship with your doctors, Yeah, who had known the first time, and they were a lot more hopeful, and that for you was like all you needed. Yeah, and there were some
other markers. I think for you guys, I think it was around the eight weeks, which is only two weeks after you kind of told me that.
I was like, yeah, this is yeah, so it's good. The worst time for us in particular, was between finding that out, getting a positive test, and then you wait for your first viability scan, which is the one where it's really your first ultrasound after that confirms that the pregnancy test is true, and you usually have to wait, like they'll make you wait until they think that you will have a heartbeat by then. Still sometimes you don't,
but a lot of people do. Around I think it was like six or seven weeks, and for us that was when last time we didn't and then every subsequent scan we didn't have one and they knew very quickly that like it never was going to have heartbeat. So that for me was the worst period, was waiting for that first one when they're like, you could have a heartbeat, you could not. If you don't, it's still not the end. But it was awful. And I honestly pretended I wasn't pregnant.
Like I got excited. I told Nick, we got excited. Then we hid the test and we didn't say anything, and then we just waited till the scan, and I nearly threw up in it. Like I just was like, and our doctor was amazing. She knew, so she said. She didn't even say high. She's just like, light out, let's do it. She knew that we were just waiting, yeah, and we all it was Nick's birthday. It was her birthday on the same day, the doctor and we all just cried. We were just like that and it was
super strong, and it was early as well. They were like, you might not have one still, and then it was really really strong. So we were just like.
Because the other thing is the other thing is that this time around, you found out a lot earlier than you found out the previous time, because last time I think you was. You were probably around four weeks last time.
I didn't know when I had it ovulated, so it just was like a random test.
Yeah, I remember you saying you had a five week scan, and again this is from you not really having gone through this journey before understanding the viability scan. Yeah, it you were just like you thought it was a dating scan. You were like going for my dating scan and.
Yeah, which is what it is as well. It's like figuring out how many weeks you generally are we.
Yeah, and that was Yeah, it was what I feel like you found out a lot later last time, so the period between finding out and waiting for the viability scan was shorter, whereas this time it.
Was like the whole time and it had no expectations last time either.
Yeah.
So what's really weird is that your your pregnancy is dated from the date of your last period. So even though by the time you're fourteen days past ovulation, it's four weeks, like you're actually one day pregnant, but they actually counted as four weeks pregnant, which is I don't know, it's so weird, But then they work out when your due date is based on that, and like because everyone cycles a different length. I still doesn't make sense to me. But anyway, but how are you feeling now about it?
So excited? Yes, I just when we got to the you know that twelve to thirteen week scan, which is when you do the NIP test, which is all the genetic markers, do you find out the gender that's generally considered like you've made it past the safe zone. And
that's when a lot of people announce. That was a huge, huge relief, but I think we were still a bit colored by last time, and so we told more family and some very close friends, but then we still just were like not ready to announce it to the world, So we waited another Like one of the main questions that people asked were how many weeks along that we are,
And we're actually eighteen weeks, which is really halfway. I know, but I just needed to wait till the next scan, which was eighteen week scan, and that was very very healthy, not surprisingly in the next scan. So the first scan that we had where we had the heartbeat, the baby was just a bean and a heart a boon, and that was with out fertility specialist. And then the next appointment was our first one with our actual obstric we'd
chosen an obstetrician. In between those two scans is when you kind of pick your hospital and find your doctor. And we have an amazing, amazing Obea. I love her so much. She says the word ya, and her scrubs are like bright pink. So I was like, you, we're meant to be. And she said, look this ultrasound. You'll hear the heartbeat again. You might like it might not move right like they might wriggle. You'll see some limbs and ahead it'll be more than a bean, but probably
won't move. Our baby jumped the entire time, like jumped, like you'll see. I put the part of the ultrasound up. She's like, oh my god, this is a Davidson, like this is a busy Davidson. And then all the scancers and yes, that.
Is my son. Yeah literally, and then eighteen weeks so you're.
Due first week of April.
I know it's going to be in April April four.
It's also going to be the third fire sign in this family. And another area areas of fire sign Areas is a fire sign. I'm an areas of nix Leo, which is one of my huh, Aquarius, don't you know what you are? No idea? What get out of this right now?
What do you mean?
Aquarius is obviously a water sign. Aqua anyway, cricket, it's not answer questions, it's Sarah questions.
Okay, so what are your first symptoms?
So interestingly, my symptoms last time and this time were the same, really intense nausea. Do you know?
Okay, I was sick. You are amazing though, because you were so nauseous. Yeah, you just turn up to these things like MC just into Allen and it was just into Alan.
I think she's home and away. Wait, let me check she's someone she's not just into. That's amazing.
Oh my god. Anyway, you like a book launched last time on.
Alan is an Australian politician. I can't. I didn't know that. That's terrible. I don't know why that's anyway. Yeah, you were pregnant.
Like pretty much everything in the last you know, a few months you've been bren but you managed nausea very like you. I can attest to you were very, very nauseous. But I feel like you're very resilient because you kind of just keep it rocking up.
I was pretty sick. Yeah, So someone actually asked me, I think you have heard before that I'm like, not just scared, but phobic a vomiting, Like, I hate it. I hate it. I'll actively avoid life experiences if I think there's a chance of vomiting. So how do I like, I actually can't, like, even if I have food poisoning, I'd rather hold it in and feel sick for longer. So pregnancy was actually quite anxiety inducing, thinking I could just be vomiting the whole time. But then I also
thought it might break the phobia. Anyway, I didn't. I haven't been a thrower opera, which is amazing, but I have instead had you know, the level nine nausea that's like in your throat.
Just before you throw it ueah.
So that like all day for ten weeks. I oh, it was really rough.
I remember when you were in tuging me out that question, would you rather be cold for the rest of your life or nauseous? And everyone was like cold, yeah, because nausea is the worst feeling.
And I feel like sometimes when you throw up you get release, but it just sits sat in my throat for like ten weeks. And because you don't know how long your body's going to have it. There's no end time. So my way of describing it to Nick was, imagine you have food poisoning, right, you know, it's awful and you're on the floor, but you're like, in forty eight hours max, it'll be out of my body having that, but being like in ten to twelve weeks it'll be gone. Maybe what And.
The things that people around you can't really empathize or sympathize unless they're currently nauseous and remember what it feels like, yeah, because I don't think many just remember what nause it feels like and how in abstract Yeah.
And also you don't tell them you're pregnant yet, so no one knows that you're going through this. So one of the other questions was someone asking why I was only eating crackers and.
Later and Sarah's answering her running her own questions because I organize she's not even looking at the questions right now. She's like, there is a future question.
This is my lawyer brain. The future question about why I could only eat crackers and brand and pizza was I felt so sick that and it's very common that you the first thing you feel like eating is a bland carp like crackers that have no flavor, and it's like hungover diet, like you just want plane. Oh the idea of like chicken on it ooh nah, You couldn't eat a salad or a green vegetable like and I mean, if I thought about it, I would want to throw up.
Like you physically can't swallow any other food except the food that you know you can get down, which was usually something really bland like plain rise toast, to the point where Nick was so worried that the baby was getting no nutrients that he asked the ob. He's like, I'm actually really worried she's not eaten, Like I'm a big salad eater and veggieater. He's like, she can't eat protein, she can't eat anything. And the way that the ob described it to kind of make us worry less was
babies for the ages have survived. It's your body's natural response to like explosive growth. The first trimester, you grow all the organs like they're done by the second semester. A semester trimester, it's just growing bigger. But in that stage of growing a heart and a liver, and a kidney. What after a marathon do you need you need glucose, You just need quick energy and then like later you
replenish your vegetables and nutrients and stuff. But they're like, you need quick, easy energy, and that's like white plaining carbs. And you've eaten vegetables your whole life, and you'll eat them again in the other trimesters. You'll be fine as long as you're taking a prenatle it's very natural and some women can't even keep food down at all, so you'll be okay. Just like if you're craving it, there's a reason. So I literally I only started eating vegetables again like two weeks ago.
It's actually crazy how the body can figure itself out.
And she's like babies are smart what they need.
Because often when I'm nauseous, no appetite, whereas your nauseous and you're like, I still would like a plain cup hydrant because the body knows that it's doing its thing.
Crazy amazing, Or it'd be like I need vanilla ice cream because it's inoffensive and you'll get sugar and energy, but it won't make you throw up.
So weird, it's just so awesome though.
And now the nausea has calm down a lot. But now I'm like chronic fatigue level tired like I thought I knew being tired generally, but it's just like a chemical tiredness.
Let's big for you because you're you're a non That's what I've decided. You're resilient but also a non complainer, which makes you feel very resilient.
Nick would probably say otherwise.
No, I really don't think you're actually a real non complaint of really scheme of baby baby whoa, oh no, okay went through.
We're a thupple.
Okay, okay, we did.
You are actually and he's the one bearing the little one.
I am breast giving, breastfeeding, she's with child.
The other symptom is my boobs grew before my tummy, you guys know, myty titty committee Like Ant has a screenshot of me showing her on the phone. I was like, look at my fucking boobs, like, yeah, they are so great right now.
Sarah was like, look out, I'm perscuped. I'm sure I'm sucking it and you can't tell her. I was like, yeah, yeah, you're your arios are coming out of your habra one of.
My really good friends was like a boob job. I was like, I think that different and in one particular outfit, She's like, yeah, I actually thought you had surgery.
They were in that photo. You could you could share it will Maybe it was a pink. It was either the pinker. Yeah, it's big, m m. You are gonna have big, big nipples. But also for a baby.
I also feel like one of the coolest things about the body that I've learned is that your nipples start to go dark and bigger, so that the baby, when it can't see properly because their eyes don't develop straight away when they're born, can find it. It's like a little homing system, so cute and clever. Anyway, next things, every day the house, I see that literally but not even in a sexy way. He's just like, I found it. My god, you're an idiot.
Speaking of being nauseous in that whole time. And I did mention that you kind of kept up with appearance. Is how did you do that?
I think with a lot of conversations with other women about this, I think you honestly just get on with it because you have no choice, Like you're not going to tell people to get leeway given to you.
Some people no, I agree, you don't, Yes, but you still you made more appearances you didn't say no.
Any average person. Yeah, Honestly, a lot of them I had already locked in before we knew we were pregnant, or before I knew I'd be that nauseous. So I just kept those because they were big commitments that would be really really hard for people to replace. Also, just into odent like I would. I wanted to have that experience, So yeah, I think, yeah, firstly, you just kind of do what you have to do because it's just one of your life where you you know it's a bit
of a struggle, but you just deal with it. You're not ready to tell people, so you can't really get create space for that feeling. A couple of times I did have anti nausea wafers, which I was given on Danzetron. I think a lot of people have those, and I've hardly taken them because I just preferred if I wasn't people facing and there wasn't a risk ID voment on
a world leader, then I didn't take them. But in situations where I really needed to pull through, a couple of times I did take those and they were really helpful. But also there's something about like if you're lying down when you feel sick and just thinking about it, it's worse. Whereas if you get dressed, you have a shower, put your makeup on, and you go to the event, it's you're so distracted. It almost helped to be busy in that time because you're just it's just a waiting game.
You're just passing time to get to the safe zone. So it almost helped me to be busier because when I wasn't I just sit at home, think about feeling sick and think about what week I was up to. So it felt really slow in the weeks I was doing that much. And I'm sure it's different if you're like there were days some people have, you know, sent
in feedback that they were literally bedridden. There were days I was bedridden and I had to cancel a lot of things because I was like, I literally cannot get up. But there were other days where it helped me to get up. So I think I'm also very fortunate that our job, I can film at home. A lot of times recording we do it at home, or there's leeway it's not live, whereas friends of mine lawyers in court like, you've got no choice, you have to run out and
vomit and then come back and present. So I was lucky that we had a life that could be structured a bit around really bad days. But I also, I don't know, I feel like I didn't want to let go of that identity, my non pregnant identity too early either,
so I wanted to keep all those commitments. And yeah, there's a hilarious amount of behind the scenes photos though from all of those events where I'm just like dead on the floor for the whole rest of the day with a pizza heart in my mouth, half out, like with all the photos I've sent you, like after glamorous looking at events. So I'm just like, kao, did.
That reflect a lot at home with you and Nick?
Though?
Like were you very low energy with then? Did that affect your relationship with me?
No, that's another question? Actually, how have you guys? Sorry?
Question a goodness?
He has been amazing And one of the things I will say on the flip side of an earlier pregnancy loss changing your celebration, it also changes your perspective the entire way through I feel like your symptoms are all so much easier to tolerate when you're like this is for a healthy child, Like I will not complain about nausea because I'm just so glad I'm pregnant, Like it
changes even like body image. I think a lot of women freak out the first time they start to get a belly or they put on a little bit of weight. And as someone who trains regularly, I haven't been able to train at all. Even gentle walks kind of puffed me out. I thought I would find that really hard, but I did last time, or is this time. I'm like, if this is what it takes for me to be a vessel for a child, that is what it takes
for me to be a vessel. Like it put everything in perspective, and I think same for Nick, Like We've had times that have been really hard where I've been totally useless, and might I add in the middle of a renovation, so my usefulness went dramatically down.
You were good, though, you even wore in ninety fives and stuff to try to contribute.
I did keep contributing to the extent that was safe. Like I stopped any painting with like heavy fumes. I did that, you did, you stepped up a lot.
I loved it.
Anything that had like we'd had pest control and stuff. I wouldn't be in the house, but I did. I was extremely handy at the start, and then further on it was hard that Nick was doing everything and I couldn't even be like his assistant. And I think the question was from someone who had said that they feel really guilty that their partner's like shouldering all the weight.
I feel like the way that you flip that is they also don't have to physically change anything in their life while you bear this child, like you're going through all the symptoms, you're feeling shitty. The reason you're exhausted is not because you've gone out partying. It's because you're growing a child's limbs and digits, and like they can't physically contribute to that. So it's just a time where
I am all for equality. I'm a hardcore feminist, but I also acknowledge there are certain times where they can't equally contribute and you can't equally contribute. So your role becomes grow this child, and their role has to be do everything you can't do because they can't help with the bearing, so you can't help with the other stuff. And that's just a partnership, right.
But I think that's what makes it made it successful successful for you, is that Nick is really good at understanding his role in this. Yeah, because some I think in some partnerships it's very hard. And I don't know what it's like to be the male in a heterosexual relationship where the wife is pregnant, Like that's a very specific situation to me, and that neither of us, you and I would never experience. And I don't know if you could ever kind of like really tell the man
how hard it is to bear a child. So you kind of have to trust that they under stage and Nick gets it, like it's really good at being like, she's not being a complainer. This is like the macro thing is that we're making off ye, she's growing up?
Yeah, yeah, right now.
And I don't have to do anything for that for.
That, yeah, whatsoever. I think when I wasn't showing at all, like very early when I had, you often have the worst symptoms when you're showing the least, which is a bit confusing. So he would forget and have days where he's like I'm just at the house from like eight in the morning until ten at night, and like you've been napping all day and like I'm tired, and I'm like,
you're tired. Yeah, and then he go, okay, okay, So yeah, like and it is hard when you're not visually reminded, but I think you do have a lot of conversations about how your contributions to certain things will be different for a while and you can work that out. Yeah, and then but yeah, he's been amazing.
Yeah, he has. He actually has been, and I think the house has been. Yeah. Other than Davidson, the David Davidson, what other names can you think of that go with Davidson, Davidson, Davidson.
Yay, Davidson. We have chosen our name already. We had actually chosen names for a girl or a boy like years ago, and their family names. So that is probably the one thing we will keep secret until until the baby arrives, until the little man arrives, But we have names. Our original name, which was just fishits and giggles, was Max because we wanted his middle name to be Danger, so he could say Danger's my middle name, and then it'd be Max Danger Davidson.
Okay, that wasn't that was you were serious about it?
I was, definitely, and then I realized, oh my god, I can't do that. That's child abuse.
When I asked, I was like, oh, so he's gonna be and You're like no, no, no, And I was like, what do you mean. No, you're convinced.
Because Max is cute and then Max Danger is like the maximum danger and then he could say dangers my middle name. And then I was like, but if he's not a cool kid, it's not Yeah, that only suits like a dangerous kid.
But also if he's not a dangerous kid, he would be bully.
I know. So we're not doing Max Danger. That's all I can say. And not yay either, not yeay Yavidson.
Yeah, you would love it.
And it also won't be Nick what else goes with Nick Junior Jr.
And it also won't be David's sons.
David also won't be Chandler baby Girl Channel r P. But that's cute, David Davidson. It won't be David squared Son.
David Dave, Dave Daniel.
No, it won't start with d even though I love a literation Davidson. So that's what we call it, but the baby because we're like, it's baby Davidson, it's Davidson among ourselves.
Baby, would you call it baby?
I would never call it baby?
What about it?
Also, we're also pretty traditional, so it won't be like a Nathaniel Atlas max Maximilian's not too you know, but it won't be like I don't know, like Grizzly hyphen bear or like or like astrology or something stormy. Yeah, it won't be that. It'll be quite a traditional name because it's a family name, so it's like a bit mon.
Guys, I'm asking questions as if I don't know.
Baby boy Angelina Angelina.
Preference a natural or C section?
Great question, I think because Mum, which I always forget, didn't go through pregnancy, so it can't help me. I have no preconceptions like many people do from their mothers about certain styles of birth, about breastfeeding or not. Like I'm not. I haven't been shaped by someone else's pregnancy experience, so I literally it is in the hands of my Hobie and what she thinks based on the position of the baby and my body and all of those things.
Like I would love to try for a natural birth as a first point of call, and I would love to try for no epadule and all that stuff.
Before I.
Do. You know what I mean though, Like I think I'll just start with natural as a baseline. But I'm not so attached like some people are to a particular birth plan. And I also haven't part of the miscarriage was I didn't even think that far ahead. I was just like next scan, next scan, next scan. So we have had the amazing Sophie from Australian Birth Stories on the podcast, and I have her book and I'm suddenly devouring the chapters that are a little bit further along
than the ones that I started reading. I definitely think it's important to go and educated about the option rather than feeling disempowered and having things kind of recommended to you while you're delirious. I will have a plan, but I'm not like devastated if you know it changes halfway through, as I suspect it does most of the time.
Do you think Nick will be in the delivery room? Yeah, I reckon, you'll pass out.
He will definitely pass out. I actually feel like I feel sad for I feel not sad. I mean, obviously we are doing all the work. But I feel sad for the men because they're totally lucid and they're watching their partner like, look like she's dying but having no control over the equation. And then it's like masks and messy alerts and she's again. But also they they're so
helpless in that moment, but they're completely together. So it's like imagine watching just your partner who you love bleeding and you can't help them, like whereas we're kind of like either drugged up or like so out of our brains in pain, like you know, you.
Might not be to manifest.
I'm definitely petrified about tild birth. Yeah, a very small frame.
So you speak to my mom, but mom's tiny.
Yeah, and like also your mom's giving birth, yes, so does acts she Mom's it.
I was like, Mom, you would have more and more. I love it. I love it. I'm good at it.
The other day she's like, I want seven. I'm like, babe, calm down.
Mom, Like mama had lasted forty two. Yeah, it's tiny. She is four kids. I'm all huge. I came out like almost four kilos and like.
I feel like that's old cheek by the way, what does that mean your four kilos well in your little cheek.
I was like, it's still here.
I feel like your body also figures it out, like even if you're a small frame, like your hips move already. My hips are moved. Like it's crazy.
Yeah, I think we've got to manifest a nice experience. Yeah, it will have to be a long wave of a lot of pain.
No, And I also feel like the biggest thing I've learned from Australian birth stories is that the more women educated about their options before they go in, they don't feel traumatized by anything because they're aware of what could come, if that makes sense. So I'll definitely be doing some research and listening to all the episodes. I've actually already listened to most of them, but more of them nice shout out to Sophie will.
Love you, And they're kind of like a more yeah, less pregnancy but still pregnancy one. Do you have any pregnancy safe makeup? All lotions?
It is. It is a whole new world, Like I honestly have just seen this divide in humans between non parents who don't know anything about anything about like tens, machines, all these terminologies, right, I've never known them before, and then everyone on the other side knows everything because you've
had to like research it. So I'm in that like transitional phase where I'm like, oh my god, I can't use retinol, can't use all these ingredients, can't use liquorice root, some essential oil is about you, Like, there's so many things that you shouldn't do, and there's different scales of like from all the way from like smoking and alcohol to like this is risky, but it's not that risky and you can make up your own mind kind of thing.
But one of the big things in skincare is retinal and vitamin as you take those out pretty immediately and otherwise I already had quite a natural skincare routine, So I will that's probably more of an Instagram question. I'll start to list a couple of things I've been using well and some of the resources that helped me figure out what ingredients.
I hate to plug. But actually Bloom Effects is yes. So the only reason I say that is because Kim, the founder, she most of their stuff is pretty pregnant safe and obviously we always.
Say, you know, speak yeah to speak to your own yeah.
But all and almost all of the products that we make except for obviously the retinal and maybe if you maybe one.
Other I can use the vitamin say, I've been using the vitom Yeah.
So the vitamin C is built to be pregnancy safe, as is a nectar. Most of it is because Kim developed it while she was pregnant.
Yeah, and my every day a lot of people start rubbing their belly early first stretch marks. I use the body balm, yeah, every day.
So she developed that for that reason.
Yeah, but in thee.
Yeah, genuinely though, have a look because.
Yeah, everything's safe even though it's still high performance.
Because they've been they've been a life for four years and she's been pregnant twice in that time. That's true that, like the product development was a lot of it was testing on herself, but she's also got X men and dermatitis. Yeah, so it's actually like very efficacious as well as grape sensitive skin and like a lot of it is pregnant and safe.
The vitamin particularly has been like amazing because you have to take out most of most of my cereums will written old cerrums, Yes, but vitamin C is an amazing kind of alternative yeah, I'll put leaps to that all.
Actually, yeah, so I just thought of it.
No, that was a good. That was a good.
Only a few more questions. But in the pregnancy zone, it's anything hard about being a pregnant adoptee.
Amazing question. So I thought I had had all my feelings about adoption in my life, Like I kind of thought I've made it to adulthood. I've kind of experienced every thought I could possibly have and every feeling and worked out how I feel about my birth mother and
my foster mother and everything. And all of the girls in my group, who were all adopted together, have remarked on how the only time you access a new levels of emotion that you didn't know you had is when you have kids because you've never thought about the process before. And so Korea, the trip and meeting seeing my foster parents again. Suddenly, the period of being zero to five months before I got to Australia, which I've always dismissed, is like I have no memories, it doesn't even matter.
Suddenly I was fascinated in it because I'm like, I'm going to have a zero to five month old and I'm not going to know what to do with it, true, and it changes it definitely, like opened up a whole new world of I'm going to have my first blood relative, Like I don't have anyone around me whose gene pool is similar to mine. I've never seen anyone reflect my features. I've never shared DNA with someone i've met or been
in the same room as. And I've also never really thought about my birth mother that much because I've had so much contact with my foster parents, and to me, they're more significant because they shaped my curiosity when I was younger. They fed me, they had me in their
family photos, whereas my birth mother didn't. But I think when I give birth, I will reflect a lot more on like someone gave birth to me and then gave me away, not in a traumatic way, but just more in a reflective, like a compassionate way.
I think, Oh, I actually didn't even think about the fact that you have your first blood lineage.
Yeah. Oh that was my biggest realization, was like, I won't know what to do with myself when our little boy starts to show features that look like me, Like I've never had that before, and I didn't realize I had another before. I just never think about it.
Either I just Elizabeth is just so your mom.
She's just my mom and our I feel like her body language. I resemble her body language sometimes, so I'm like, oh, I do that. So I've never felt like lacking in reflection, I think.
And also because Alex is also South Koreana, yeah, I feel it feels like you guys are related, but you're not, like yeah, yeah.
And one of our one of my good friends, Matt Purcell, who you guys will have heard on the podcast before, who's another South Korean adoptee. He has two daughters, and he said that that was a big shift for him, was having blood relatives who look like him. We've just never had that before.
I speaking of adoption, we've got three last questions about adoption. Would you ever foster a child?
Great question? So we have done a whole adoption episode on whether I would meet my birth mother or that, so I'll link that for that background. But this just came up after the career trip. I would love to foster a child, but I don't know that the process in Australia is the same. So I am are really good friends of ours, the real dads of Melbourne. They
have foster children before. But I'm not actually sure what the rules are and how it like, I know this is it's so hard coming from someone who's who was fostered so beautifully. I don't we really really wanted to get a new baby Paul, for example, and we thought like, let's foster a Border Force puppy or a guy dog puppy or something to like get used to the puppy stage again. And Nick will not give it back. Now,
He would never give He could not. He's just not capable of returning a puppy that came into his home that he loved, even knowing that it was for a foster period. So I just think we would we would adopt soon then foster. I think, even though that's such a like ar centric, selfish way to look at things, I genuinely think like we would attack. We have no capacity to attach, not.
All our love temper like a yeah.
Even though that's such a valuable contribution to a life, I would just immediately be my child and then I'd be like yeah, and I'd never be able to And I don't think you get much contact with them afterward. I just I just don't think I'm built for that and which makes me respect even more foster families. But I would adopt.
Yeah. Well, speaking of the next question is is it? Do you know how hard or easy it is to adopt in Australia? And I think your mum's situation is very different time.
Yeah, but still pretty similar in terms of the hurdles. I think, yeah, is it. It's very difficult in that, like part of it is, Australia is signed up to a lot of child protection treaties, which is amazing and I wouldn't expect any less. But it does mean that requirements are so stringent that you have to deep through with certain financial situations. You have to have a social worker come and live with you. It costs a lot to invest in the adoption process, so it's not super accessible.
But if you're in a relationship with a social worker, good second.
Yeah for you guys I count I mean, I know habes and hapes of people who have adopted children. It is possible. It's definitely harder. Then it costs a lot of money. It's it's just there are a lot of hurdles and it changes often. It also changes which countries you can adopt from. I'm not I can't speak to within country adoption, but into country adoption changes based on which countries are open to Australia, and I think Korea
is open at the moment. It wasn't for a really long time, but it's a very long process, like it took four to five years for my brother, and it helped that I had already been adopted, even yours time was way longer. So I think it is quite a difficult process, but it's not impossible. And I have never I like, whenever anyone asked me, who is on their own journey towards adoption, about my experience, I have only the most amazing things to say about it, Like we
have had the best life, the best life. We have never felt other. Really, I forget I'm Asian all the time too, Like everyone I look at the mirror, I'm like, what.
I remember the one time I made that post, I was like my one Korean.
I was so offended it wasn't me. I was like, Jane, what the fuck I forgot?
I actually forgot you were Korean too.
I forget all the time, and then I think it's beautiful that I can forget, Like what a privilege. And I think it's a really it's a really really beautiful process. And often if the if the option is no children or adoption and you were born to be a parent, which mum was like, you just create a family bond that might not be blood, but people hate their blood relatives. Like that's not the be on and end all of connection and love at all.
So, speaking of your mum, the last is I tried to get her on but when and will your mum story.
Oh, she's just so shy.
So shy, guys, we've both tried so with peer pressured like I've tried accorded it. Yeah, I tried the like, you know, gentle.
Approach and she wouldn't let me publish.
And I got it. I got a tentative, a verbal yes, which in hindsight, I wish I got my lawyer hat on of yours and had it on paper or something.
No, you know what, she's like, she'll always rescind she did the podcast, maybe delete the episode because she gets so she overthinks. She doesn't want to ever say anything that like would reflect badly on me or contradict something that I said about adoption, or she's just not a public eye person.
I think also for her, adoption is a very sensitive topic in which she wants to be very respectful to the people of your audience that maybe be struggling or yeah, because I think she feels a slight sense of guilt which she shouldn't about being successful in it. Yeah, And like I think she's like people are some people are really trying and they can't and successful story.
And I was like, she's also very conscious that, like I'm very open about it, but Alex isn't, so she doesn't want to say anything on his behalf. And then he's like, Mom, why did you do that? That's embarrassing because alex is already like Sarah stopped fucking being on the internet. It's not embarrassing all my friends. Literally He's like, everyone knows you're pregnant. Put your belly on. But mind you, he has already bought all of the outfits.
And I'm so excited so much. But your mom's she I've heard the story, and your mom speaks about it very well and very engaging. So hopefully one day, but right.
Now there has to be we have to like somehow like illegally record her that she doesn't know or maybe she'd a written one. She might do a written and then we could get a voice voice.
I don't worry, we got it.
No, No, she wouldn't do that. She would hear her and she'd be like, I hate my face, Like she's blessed her. I love her so much. Anyway, that was really long episode, but they were great questions and really liked them, so thank you so much, guys. We have coming up. We just had an amazing guest last week who decided she had her idea about the first ethical women's super fund for women in a shipping container in Baghdad in Iraq when she was the head of operations
for the UN World Food Program. What the insane amazing? In between, she also won like a small business award. She had done her she said, oh what was the other thing? She got qualified in? Something completely different? In the middle she the run for parliament. She ran for parltmer Oh my god, Chrissy Hobb's amazing episode and then similar vein they actually know each other, but I didn't
know that until afterwards. Next guest. The next guest coming up is the head of the Australian Antarctic Program, who also came from a defense background and has a fascinating journey. And he was the head of the Antarctic program during COVID when they got stuck in Antarctic and couldn't come back. So that was really fun talking to him about everything antire.
I'll actually this is this time.
Then read the book I've got to put you. Oh mate, it's his diary of being an Antarctic for five hundred and thirty seven days.
Oh my god. Okay, yes, and.
Like couldn't like imagine going for twelve months and then you have to have a second winter. Yeah, with twenty people, that's cool. No one else isolated can't fly anything inner because COVID and you don't know when you're coming out. Oh my god. Anyway, they were also the only people who had no lockdown because like.
Because they verge of where they were there when they.
Were kind of in lockdown, Like it was fun that they could like have parties and stuff because no one had COVID. They didn't have to do like social distance.
He's reached twenty people literally.
But it was them just like in winter, dark darkness, all day, no nothing to do. Is so interesting. He's like he's he's material on leadership in that and resilience like insane.
Okay, can't wait.
Yeah, so that's coming up next. And then we also have have one of the actors from Miss Sagon, Yes, who was a rugby player. I believe that's coming up. Yes, I mean I don't know what else we have coming out. Christmas, Oh my god, Christmas, Oh my god. Also, guys, Christmas festive shopping seize the a jewelry.
Yes, oh my god, it's so pretty. It is so pretty in right now, it's really pretty. You guys have honestly peat pressure, but you have to really good Christmas present. But they look so pretty.
And also it's wearable. Yeay, A gift of joy?
Am getting some?
Okay, great, I'll give you some.
No, I don't want that, well
I am anyway, Hello guys, Okay,