Hello, lovely neighborhood, and welcome to our Olympic Spotlight series. As you will know, we are back recording new episodes after our extended ninety two business month hiatus, now that mum life is becoming a little bit smoother, but given that we find ourselves in the middle of Paris twenty twenty four and it is such a special time for the whole world. I love the Olympics so much I get emotional every time, I thought we'd also do a
little Olympic re release series. We are so lucky to have had so many incredible Olympians as past guests, who are also competing right now over in Paris. And while our conversations are from a while back, so please mind the outdated time references. The essence of this show is reflecting on people's different chapters along the way, and I thought it would be fascinating to reflect on how far they've all come since our last chat, some of which
were even before the last Olympics in Tokyo. As I mentioned last episode, athletes aren't allowed to record from the Olympic village and or they can do interviews, but they can't do audio and video, and we did have a few podcast interviews lined up that we had to postpost, which is why we couldn't do catch up episodes with these guests. But we do have a future record after the Olympics are over, so stay tuned for those in the meantime. I hope you are all loving watching along
and enjoy these throwback listens. Today's guest is absolute legend Harry Garside, who we spoke to last after Tokyo twenty twenty when he won Australia's first medal in boxing at the Olympics in over three decades. He had hoped to come back to win Australia's first gold medal in boxing this year in Paris, but sadly, just a few days ago he lost to Richard Kovacs and was absolutely shatted
to have to say goodbye to that dream. For this round of the Olympics, it's been heart wrenching but also so inspiring at the same time to watch Harry go through the emotions of heartbreak and those really human feelings of failure that I think we forget people at that elite level also have. They're just people as well, and yet they have to go through those.
Kind of feelings.
So publicly, but then he's been able to follow it up with some really powerful reflections as he starts to kind of orientate himself again. And he has such an amazing philosophy on achieving greatness, as you'll hear in this episode, and that has continued on in the way that he's dealt with everything in the last few days. If anything, I kind of think it's almost more inspiring to watch someone cope with things when they don't go well than
when they go exactly to plan. And in his latest video on Instagram, he explains that he's just so grateful over the past few years, through both the highs and the lows on the journey towards his Olympic goals and his goals generally in the sport, that he's really learned to become his own friend, which is such a beautiful and inspiring takeaway. And he just remains now in all the press as reflective and articulate as he was during our chat. He actually just blew me away with his
ability to talk through his mentality and his mindset. So I hope you guys enjoy listening back to this one as much as I did. Busy and Happy are not the same thing. We too rarely question what makes the heart seeing. We work, then we rest, but rarely we play and often don't realize there's more than one way. So this is a platform to hear and explore the stories of those who found lives they adore, the good, bad and ugly. The best and worst day will bear
all the facets of seizing your yea. I'm Sarah Davidson or a spoonful of Sarah, a lawyer turned funentrepreneur who swapped the suits and heels to co found matcha Maiden and matcha Milk bar. Sez the Ya is a series of conversations on finding a life you love and exploring the self doubt, challenge, joy and.
Fulfillment along the way.
Welcome back, Lovely, yeahbehood. I couldn't think of a cooler guest to kick off the second half of the year with than the legend that I have in store for you today. You probably know by now that I get so excited by people whose brains tick as crazily and as deeply as mine likes to. So I was like a kid in a candy store with this guest and felt maybe the least articulate that I have in a
long time. Next year eloquence. I am endlessly fascinated by Harry Garside, and seems most of Australia and the world shares that view, and not only because he is a championship boxer who won the nation's first medal in boxing at the Olympics in over three decades in Tokyo. While his rise to international success from losing ten out of his first eighteen fights at the Humble Lilydell Youth Club is also fascinating, I still don't think that's the reason
always so enamored with him. While Harry's upbringing and beloved sport aligned very strongly with traditional ideas about masculinity and strength, it's his unique passion for changing those stereotypes that I fell in love with, complimenting his training with ballet classes and wearing now polished to some of his fights, and just when you think you've figured him out, he reveals a whole new facet of himself and his view on
the world. And I could ramble on forever about how much it stretched my own mind getting to have this conversation with him. I'll let you hear more about it for yourself. As he tells so perfectly, and I'm sure you'll see from this conversation why. I just think he's one of the most fascinating human beings.
This is one of my.
Favorite episodes all year, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Harry Garside, Welcome to Seize the AA.
Yeah, thank you for having me on.
I'm so excited.
As I mentioned, I've been fangirling from Afar and my partner Nick has been doing the same. We've followed your journey for a while now, and it's so so nice to have you on the show.
Yeah, I'm blessed to be on my part. As I was saying to you before the show, we're having a good stalk of you Instagram last night and we'll love it.
I'm a total message, an absolute car accident. I love it, which leads really nicely to.
Our little icebreaker.
Before I get into the first section of the show, I like to start every episode just by asking everyone what the most down to earth thing is about them to break through what can often be a pretty glossy surface, especially when you know, we mentioned just before we started recording that you've been to the Olympics. You have some amazing achievements under your belt, and if people walk into your life right now, they often see, you know, a really polish side of you, forgetting that there's so much
else beneath the surface. But I think it's really important from the beginning to sort of highlight the things about you that are really human and really normal. So what's something really relatable about you?
I think, well, I know more so. I had an experience when I was about eight. I think it's about at seven or eight, and I was traveling through the Northern Territory with my family, and I just remember driving through an indigenous community and I was looking out the window and there was young kids playing and they're in poverty, like very poverty stricken conditions, and I just remember thinking, in that moment, what is the difference between me and
that young kid. Obviously at the time, I was too young, I didn't fully understand what was going on. But looking back at my life as a twenty four year old, I've just never thought that I'm better than anyone. I've never and it's a blessing and a curse because it's also the thing that made me lose at the Olympics, and it's also the thing that, Yeah, so it's a blessing and a curse in the sense of, like I've never once sort of looked down on people or anything
like that. And I had that from an early age at seven or eight when I was in the Northern Territory. And then, as I said, it's a bit of a curse as well, going to the Olympics and fighting the favorite to win the gold medal and kind of losing the fight before I even got in there because I didn't fully believe that I was better than him. And yeah,
so there's two sides of each coin. I'd always try my hardest to understand that we're all just human, that's it, and doesn't matter where people start in life, but like you can always get to where they are, you just have to work hard, be consistent. But yeah's and that's probably the thing that I think is pretty down to worth about me.
That is one of my favorite answers in like three hundred every cents. I think that's so fascinating because I think that is one thing that comes across really clearly. Like in researching for the episode, I was watching you know, your interviews from quite a few different things. Immediately before the Olympics just after more and like that real humility of like being able to get on other people's level and also knowing that you didn't start with a leg up.
You know we're just talking about before. Like that comes through so clearly, but it's also interesting, Like it's so endearing. It's what makes the nation love you so much. Like I've never thought about the psychology of the competitive edge that you lose if you're too humble, Like there's like that weird line in the middle where you want to always be down to worth, but you also have to be able to talk yourself up when you need you.
That's so interesting an innovation leader. Yeah, so when you're with us, just like that could be sorry, yeah it's gone now, Like is this a commercial? Yeah?
I was like, is he answering for you? Is this your spokesperson?
Sorry? Chats?
That was the best? Oh my god, I love.
Both so confutered, I was like.
What is commercial break?
It's like, no guest has ever brought their own to the show, but like, sure, I'm humble, but not that I brought my own sponsors with me. That was also one amazing start of the episode. I'm totally leaving that in Oh, But yeah, I just think I think the
psychology around that is so interesting. And later on we'll get to that whole fine line between like confidence and then self doubt and then not being too overconfident, but then not selling yourself so short that you can't actually perform when you want to, and undervaluing your skills and obviously immense talent. But it's so nice. You mentioned before we started recording as well, that you know, you came
from really humble beginnings. Your parents weren't Olympians, you didn't come from a background that it immediately makes sense that you've gone to the Olympics and competed at.
Such a high level.
You you know, don't know anyone who went to None of your kind of friends from childhood went to university, And I think that too, is like all the obvious markers for a really successful climb of the ladder weren't necessarily there to begin with, but you've still done it. So my first section of every podcast is your wayta, which is your pathway tracing back from childhood. To remind everyone like it's almost never a smooth journey. It's almost never what you expect. It's going to be, but the
top poids all connect eventually when you look back. So take us back to young you, youngest of three boys, blokey dad, bit of a softer mum, and like what your childhood was like.
I feel so blessed that I get the opportunity to constantly sort of like think about my childhood. This every time I do a podcast is almost like a psychology session, which which is unreal. So I learned something new every time I tell a story. And for me, I was really fortunate to be the youngest of three boys and always felt super loved and super connected by my family. But at the same time, I felt quite different to my two brothers and of course my dad, and I
was just a little bit softer to them. They were pretty rough around the edges and really good people, really kind people. But me personally, I just felt I was more connected to my mum's energy and what my mum was doing, and I didn't particularly want to do what the guys are doing in my family. Every time I was sort of doing what they were doing, I sort of didn't fully enjoy it, but I was more so doing it to fit in. And it's probably half the
reason I started boxing. As well, and just super fortunate that I fell in love with the sport within the first week and the places it's taken me in the man that I am now because of that, it's pretty crazy. But initially I didn't start it because I really wanted to. I started it more so to sort of be a man, or to prove I was a man and to my brothers and my dad.
Wow, that's so interesting that again, like you think that so many boys get into boxing because it is like a marker of masculinity, but yours was more to prove that you had that, even though that's not necessarily kind of like it was like a mask of on the outside to fit in. And it's so interesting when we're younger how much effort and time and how much of our identity goes into just trying to fit in and just trying to make sense of like who we are.
But very very fortunate that you turned out to love it so much. And it's interesting that you started at such a young age, like nine, and most kids when they start something at nine, it's very rare that you.
Actually go on to do that as a job.
So how did you progress from like a childhood activity to like I'm going to go to the Olympics. Like when did that from just stumbling into something to like doing really well at it actually happen.
I feel for me, I was just a sporting fan from the age of like six, seven, eight years old, so I always wanted to, like your dream of representing your country at the biggest event. I always watched the Olympics, coming of Games, anything Australia was playing in. I just loved sport. And when I started boxing, I didn't fully know that you could go to the Olympics for boxing. But yeah, as I slowly progress through through the boxing career, I'm very fortunate as well that my coach, who's still
my coach to date, he's eighty years old. He's a veteran of the sport, and he sort of just made me feel special. He fed me with a lot of love, a lot of He says things like, oh, you're so naturally gifted. Your footwork is impeccable, and he would say things like that and I would feel so good. But then looking back now, he pretty much sended you every kid that walked into that everything that walks into that gym, So I'm known special. I just took it and I
fully believed it. And I think as well, there's two reasons as to why I kept going I wasn't successful very early on, but the reasons why I kept going back was one because of him. He fed me with so much the love and positivity made me feel good
about myself. And the second is because boxing gave me an identity that I always wanted to be sort of a tough guy, to prove that I was a man, and it gave me that, especially in my primary school years and high school years, and I was searching for that for a long time and I finally got it. And yeah, that's the read. They're the two reasons why I think I kept going back and I kept loving it. And then also as well, the feeling boxing gives me is quite electric as well.
Yeah. Wow, if we just had Men's Health Work a couple of weeks ago and we did an episode, we do one every year, and the constantly recurring theme is this like outdated view of masculinity that has forced so many men into really convoluted either behaviors or just ways of thinking about their identity and pushes you to do certain things and be certain ways when now I think it's getting a lot better, and role models like yourself
who are challenging those stereotypes are amazing and allowing younger boys to not necessarily think they always need to be this marcho person. But I think you've become an amazing role model for breaking down those stereotypes, and I definitely want to get to that point. But I think another really important thing is also we have this instant gratuity thing. Right if we're not winning and we're not good at something,
straight away, I personally give up pretty easily. Like I think I'm resilient, but it's sin or something's a little bit hard. I'm like, uh, but it's interesting that you know, I've heard you say that you up until kind of your teenage years, you'd lost more fights than you'd won. You lost ten out of your first eighteen fights at Lillardale Youths Club, And even with someone an amazing supporter in your corner telling you you're really good, you know, most people don't.
Have the strength to kind of keep going.
So I think the quote that I really love is the idea that life rewards you on your fifth or sixth, or ninth or tenth try so never give up, because it's probably the time you give up is usually just before the one where it's actually going to work. What did go through your mind to get you through? What gave you your eyes on the prize even when it did feel so far away.
That's a really good question. There's so many things a play into that I hate giving up, and I think the younger it's a blessing and a curse that as well, because there needs to be a time where you actually like you need to logically look at something and go wow. It's say, in a relationship, is it time to walk away? Or is it time to end this friendship? Or you mean you've actually got to look at it. And I
really struggled to do those things. And yeah, I just truly wanted to achieve good things in my sport of boxing. And there was many people who my family members', close friends, even my coach who I love On a door, I said a couple of things to me throughout that process where it made me really think like am I cut out for this? And am I ever going to achieve
what I want to achieve in my boxing career? And there was always just a little boy inside of me that truly believes that I could be an astronaut, you know what I mean. The kids are so that can dream so hard, and I still got that inside of me now, Like it doesn't happen all the time, and it's not as loud as what it was when I was a kid, but still there. Like I truly believe if I set my mind to something, I can achieve anything. And I think that's something that I personally feel the
younger generations missing out on it. It's not their fault in the sense of like, if you want instant money, go get crypto NFTs. If you want instant look good, go get botox, Go get your tummy tuck. If you want it's just instant gratification, go on Instagram and upload a photo and edit it heaps. Like everything's so instant, And I think even like you get a TV now in the last two or three years, you're a TV
sixty years ago, it probably still last now. Everything's just so instant and it's disposable, and I just great things take a lot of time. And I'm sure you can voucher that I saw in your bio that you're a lawyer, like that would have taken a long time, and the feeling you get after the six, seven, eight years how it took you is amazing. It's electric, and I think young people need to understand that it takes a long time to get great things.
Oh my gosh, that is the perfect sound bite for this entire show and everything I try and convey that, like any climb worth climbing, or any journey worth embarking on,
is most of the great ones aren't overnight. They might look overnight because you only see the tiny tip of the mountain, but all the grueling times of rejections and setbacks and you know, failures or like failures, even though I think like failures are really a learning curve that propel you forwards in some way, there's just so much that comes before everyone's journey.
And you're so right about that instagratuity thing.
Like we were just a couple of weeks ago in Egypt for our honeymoon, and I was laughing about how like we have to repaint our house every five years because like the paint fades, you know, from the sun in five years time, These colors that you could see on the wall from like five thousand years ago and they're still lasting and I'm.
Like, what has happened to humanity?
Where we want everything here and now and we don't care if it lasts. But the idea of like patience and not making one no as like a permanent no.
You know.
I think many people, if they had faced more failures than wins, you know, that would have been the end for them. But if you had let that topple you, you never would have found out you could have gone to the Olympics. So I think you're such a good example of like, just keep going, just keep believing that you know, it's worth trying the next tribe because you never know when we'll be the try that actually ends up getting you to a national championship, to then the
comm Games, to then the Olympics. And I can't even imagine what that was like when that actually happened. So what do you think was the turning point? Was it a skill thing that you just trained differently? Was it I know that you did some work with the Reach Foundation. Do you that was twelve months before your first nationals? Was that the turning point more mentally than physically? Like, what do you think changed?
Yeah, I feel like it's a it's a cocktail of things and Reach is a massive the Reach foundation for those people who don't know as a youth organization, and they entered my school when I was fifteen sixteen, and prior to that I had no success in boxing. And then a year after being involved, I finally won my first nationals and they gave me the ability to have space where I could just explore myself and explore the world and stumble for be messy, fuck up and get
back up again. And I think that's such a valuable place for a young person because I'm twenty four and I still got no idea who I am, no idea. I'm working it out slowly, and especially when I was fifteen to sixteen, I had even less of an idea. And I just think the space where you can really stumble for triumph, experience things is a beautiful space. And I'm really fortunate dance my life. And I think as well.
The ten weeks before my first national win, I remember saying to myself, I want to give myself a bit of an ultimatum. I said, if I don't win this, I need to think about what I'm going to do
with my future. And I remember I gave ten weeks, ten weeks of waking up at a certain time, really focusing on showing up in every session, having an intention and working my ass off, and then you mean, really making sure I was doing everything I possibly could, all the one percent is outside of the boxing gym to the mindset stuff. And I finally got to my first Nationals knowing that I had done everything I could. Fortunately, I definitely wasn't the favorite to take that out, and
I fortunately took it out. And I think it's because I didn't turn my back on myself throughout that process. You can lie to people, you can lie to your friends, you can lie to your family, but you'll never lie to yourself. And that's a beautiful place to be is when you know you never lied to yourself.
Oh my gosh, I've never thought about it that way, the idea of like not turning your back on yourself.
We're so focused on how we care for.
Others our interactions outwardly, but I think, yeah, the internal work is what really can make a difference between you getting where you want to go and not. And then from there on it you just you just propelled to Then you know, three years later, the Gold Coast common Games and then the twenty twenty Summer Olympics, that childhood dream that I imagine felt impossible for so long before winning what at the first time an Australian has won a medal in boxing in.
Over three decades.
Talk us through that, like as the dust settled, how do you feel? What was that like actually going to the Olympics and from that, you know, twenty fifteen U to twenty twenty U. Obviously it was a big like narrative change between like having you know, a losing streak to suddenly being on this this up and up.
I read that you got hypnotized before the Olympics.
You're obviously like very open minded to a really you know, all rounded way to prepare yourself for these things. What was that five year stretch? Like, I just can't even imagine after the start you had to then being like our superstar.
It was a crazy five years. But black looking back, I was just really grateful that boxing Australia they gave me so many opportunities, so many opportunities to just go. So I tried for the real Olympics and miss out on two occasions to make the team, and then after that it was really like I need to hone in on a few things and started really focusing on mindset. I put my room. There was about six Australian flags in my room. There was Olympic paraphernalia everywhere, all photos
and it was quite psychotic. It was like like an eight year old boys. I didn't like to bring too many people over.
Manifestation.
I just really started to focus on the mindset stuff. And the older generation they like to trash the phone use and stuff like that, but I think one of the best things about the phone is that everything that that finger tips and it's like you get the choice, if you're conscious enough, you get the choice of what you digest online. All this mindset stuff that I just started like looking up online, what did all the greats do?
What did some people? Don't really like to some people who I really got Kerry Pothurst and Natalie Cook, the two thousand olympig Beach volleyballers gold medalists, I got a lot for. And then every time they went to the shops they would buy something gold and gold was is always on their mind and people like that. I was like really sort of motivated and inspired by it. And I slowly but surely changed my mindset and changed my belief system from twenty fifteen twenty sixteen and then twenty
eighteen and of course twenty twenty. But there was a lot of ups and downs in that process as well. But like something I want to add on what we're talking about just before, around the process, Like you fail so many times in the process. But I think one of the biggest things is if you love what you do. Of course we don't want to fail. It sucks, it's the worst feeling, it's shit. But if you love what you do, like you sort of don't particularly care. It's
all about the journey and all about the process. Like I kind of just really like boxing. I love representing Australia, and I love the feeling it gives me. And it's like, of course I strive for greatness, but I'm just grateful that I get to box in general.
I think it's so interesting as well that it's the mindset you bring to something like a setback that really changes the way you cope with it. Like I've sort of really trained my brain to see a pain point or a setback or and something that would otherwise feel like a failure, as like if I immediately look for the lesson in that then it's less painful because almost straight away you're like, oh this is silver ligning Like, of
course it's a little bit embarrassing, hurts your ego. But if you know what to look for quicker, then the pain part of it, it's so instantaneous compared to you know, you could wallow, you could let it, you know, control you, or consume you for weeks and weeks, or you could go, okay, that's done. But actually this failure I'm going to use it as a failure forwards and it's going to better me.
For without the setbacks, you wouldn't actually progress, you'd just be cruising along and never learn the things that you need to learn to better yourself for next time. So I love that you really embrace, like the macro is that you love what you do, so all the micro forward, back, forward back is like part of part of.
That journey and all slots in.
One of the things I think is extraordinary about you is you are only twenty four, and of course you've had a lifetime worth of experience, but you're also incredibly self aware and incredibly well adjusted for someone your age, particularly for guys who tend to not necessarily get in mass generalization but tend to not get to that real
self reflection so early. But it seems like you've had that curiosity for understanding your mind and your identity and looking at things in a less than traditional way and experimenting with you know, ballet you started doing in twenty nineteen, and even you know hypnotherapy is quite alternative. Have you always been that curious?
And where do you think you got that from?
I want to see credit a lot of it for my mum. So I'm super blessed that my mum is super spiritual. She's a medium, so she talks to dead people.
Yeah, she's a media.
Yeah, pretty hectic. So growing up for me, like it was a bit. She had tarot cards and crystals and all that sort of hall and enjoy sort of stuff.
And hypno therapy is like level one basic for you.
No therapy was actually pretty full on though. I woke up from it and I was bawling my eyes out. I was like, I remember what happened, and I was like, it was quite amazing. And that's actually something that I love most about myself, and I think I get it from my mum, But it's my want and my ability to literally try anything. I really don't think there's anything that probably someone would stunt me if they're listening to this, But I don't think there's much that I couldn't do that I wouldn't.
Try challenge, except.
Someone's like murder someone. I'm like, I don't want to.
Just to see what would happen, Like, how would you feel let's do a podcast about that. I hear true crime podcasts are going really well on the chat, like we can totally do one together.
Absolutely, I've always had that, and I just love experiencing things, and I'm very philosophical with how I think, and I truly believe that this is all quite meaningless, but at the same time it's very meaningful. And I truly I'm not religious. I honestly believe it's a bit of a miserable view, but I think that when we die, that's it, and we've only got one sort of life and we just got to live in and experience it. And I truly think that when we die, that's it. Nothing else happens.
And me and my dad were talking about this and he was like, then, why do you care about what you do in this life. And it's like, because it makes me feel good. It makes me feel good to experience in things. It makes me feel good that we have feelings, we have emotions, we have connection. That's a beautiful thing and I love waking up and experiencing that. But it still doesn't take away from my belief that I think this is all quite meaningless, and I think there's beauty and humbleness in that.
I feel like there's definitely another career for you in poetry and some kind of eloquent articulation, because actually I did hear that you would ash with poetry, so I think you're already onto the poetry I did. You're very, very articulate. It's also interesting coming back to that whole
idea of masculinity and stereotypes. I had Bobby Holland Hanton, who's been Chris hemsworth stunt double for the last ten years on the show, who like, on the outside is the epitome of masculinity and traditional like Braun and all
those kinds of concepts. But his origins were in a gymnastics career, and that you know, when he was younger wasn't cool then it wasn't cool to and similar to ballet, like men inlycrates, like not your typical thing that you expect to see, and now that it's led him to a career being thought it's considered cool.
Back then it wasn't.
And I think when you do things a little bit differently or a little bit against the grain, you do face a lot of bullying or teasing or just people misunderstanding you. But you seem to have always been quite comfortable to, like you said, try different things, even if they're not what normal dudes your age are doing. How did you face like, for example, when you started doing ballet, I actually was with the Australian Ballet in a past life, so I was very very out to watch the video
footage if you're doing Clia's at the bar. It made me so happy. But I've been flying the flag for years that like, no one has a better physique and longer endurance and muscle strength than ballerinas. But there's still that sort of like preconception that it's for girls only.
So when you do do something new, do you face criticism? How do you deal with that?
How do you push through and just be like, look, I'm curious about it. I'm not threatened in my masculinity about it, Like, how can you encourage younger boys to not be so conditioned by what traditional masculinity looks like.
That's a really good question, because I must submit through through most of my high school years, Like I would try some of this stuff outside of school, or I would do things outside of school where no one was really watching or no one really knew what I was doing. I would I would think, I would ponder, I would climb trees, but at school, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I would go to school, and I was part of the cool group. I was always part of the cool group.
And there's something about when you're young, you don't want to feel like you're not a part of the tribe. You want to feel like it. You want to feel like you're part of the community. You don't want to be the outcast is the worst feeling. I was pretty scared to show my true authentic colors when I was in high school. I must have met. Even after Reach, I slowly but surely started to unpack a little bit more and started to have a bit more confidence to
show my mates. It was more so after high school though, where I started to you would just be like, like, honestly, what does it matter if someone doesn't like what I do with my life. It's almost like a like, I don't like to criticize people. It's a bit of a
projection of their own stuff. And it's like, as long as I'm not hurting anyone else, like me wearing a skirt, some of the backlash that I got from that, me doing ballet, some of the comments I get from that, And it's just like, why do you care so much about what I do in my life? And it's I'm having fun. I'm not hurting anyone. I just don't understand that,
and it's sad. I actually I feel for them, I genuinely do, because maybe they feel like they wish they had the chance to experience with every they are and I actually feel for them because I have the confidence to do that, and I wish they had it too, because they would feel amazing if they could just really and whether it be ballet or wearing a skirt, whatever it is, if they could just experience some things that they really want to do without the fear of judgment, they would feel so much better.
I believe totally.
It's interesting you said that that, like without the fear of judgment. I often say to people in like a career context, or trying something new, or starting a business or learning a new skill, whatever it is, when we're talking about the idea of fear of failure, I'm like, what if you knew you could fail, Like, you could try something, you wouldn't be good at it, and you'd fail, but no one would ever know about it?
Would you be scared anymore?
And most of the time they're like no, So I'm like, you're not scared of failing. You don't think that if you failed you'd be a worse person. You're scared of people knowing that you failed. You're scared of looking silly, not feeling silly, looking silly, which means it's like such a useless fear, Like it's not related to anything. It's this intangible thing about people's opinions that you don't care about anyway, And it's so liberating when you let go of that.
So I could not agree more. And I was thinking about this the other day. I was actually said this to my partner. I was saying, like, I'm a little bit concerned, and I'm very optimistic. I must've been. I'm very much glass half full type guy. But there is, of course I think pretty full on about the world. And I think right now, I think we think we're teaching young people almost narcissistic tendencies in the sense of like it's very much I I deserve my happiness. I
want to feel instant gratification. It's and I think human history, the reason as to why we are where we are is because we all worked collectively most of the time. And I think and I think we've got to slowly teach young people that it's actually really important to be part of society and be kind to people and treat people with respect and help your neighbor out and some things that I feel like we're kind of losing because everyone's kind of at war on these social media platforms
and it's like, I just don't know. Like, as I said, I'm quite optimistic about the future, but at the same time, just a little bit concerned about young people not learning valuable things around community and connection. And yeah, that's just a little that was a bit off topic.
But no, I totally agree with you. I talk about it all the time.
And I think having had ballet as a real grounding community, like I think the role that religion once played in community,
or that like ethnicities, certain celebrations around ethnicities played. We're losing that connection because you know, the role of religion and the role of things like that are fading slowly in this day and age, but we're not replacing them with anything, which is I think why kids who do a sport, team, sport, or individual, but who are part of something, it gives them a belonging that like grounds
them through their younger years. And I think the kids who don't have that, and also don't have a religion or any kind of like connection to something, that's where you start.
To get really lost.
It's so hard to find your identity because there's not a consistence, safe, grounded place. And I think that's why, like whatever sport or whatever activity it is, whether it's music or whatever, I want my kids to do some kind of thing that gives them a community, because that gives you the safety to like figure out who you are even if you don't keep doing that sport, and you know later in your life, it gives you discipline, it gives you like belonging, working with others, learning about
managing yourself, time management, all of those things that you get from whether it's sport or music or just just having a hobby.
Yeah. One of my biggest role models is Da Khana. I truly love everything she's about. She's a Muslim journalist and she spent time on the front lines with white supremacists and then in another series to Hardest and she says the biggest seeing the reason we all think that they're really bad people, and she articulates it very well and I highly recommend people looking her up d Ya Khan,
But she articulates it. The reasons to why those people, they're usually young young men, usually join these things is because of love. Because they want connection, They want someone
to care about them. And it's like she says, if we can create systems that are more positive, where they feel accepted, feel heard, feel cared about, they wouldn't need to go to these extreme organizations that are pretty full of you mean, they would have something And it's just like, that's why I think, like community youth centers, the larn Our Youth Club that I grew up in, they're so valuable and so important.
Yeah, I agree, and that was a big part of the discussions for Men's Health Week, but around mental health in particular, was starting from really young age, but getting boys connected in with something, some kind of purpose or something to keep them safe and to keep them feeling like they belong it. It's all like the key what are they the five key basic human needs, and one of them is belonging. You need to feel like you belong to something, otherwise everything else does to fall out
of place. And I think you've become such an amazing role model for that, not just belonging, but belonging, not just by emulating what everyone else is doing. Like you're plumber. You know, you're a boxer. In many ways, you tick a lot of boxes that make it easy for you to fit in.
But I love that.
Also you're like, yeah, but fuck it, I'm going to do ballet, I'm gonna wear naw polish, I'm gonna wear skirts. Like that confuses a lot of people because you're like, on one side of you the typical male, and then on the other side you're like, but but nah, Like I'm just going to do these these other incongruent things. But that's why I think it's really powerful, because you're
not one or the other. You know, if you were just doing the nail polish and skirts, it would make it easy for a lot of men to switch off to you because they'd be like, oh, well, he's not like me. But because you can also be the blokey bloke, You've got this like power to just be like, yeah, I can have both, and I'm comfortable with that.
It's amazing and I look Alie.
Generally. The more that I talk to people, the more that I understand that. I think most humans, if not all, I like that too. We're kind of walking contradictions and we love it. We love things but then also love something that is the polar opposite, and that's okay, you don't have to. And I understand. I've thought about it. Why I think human stereotype or why we generalize, and I think it's to save energy. It's to conserve energy.
It makes it easier in our brain to decipher, Okay, this person does this, Okay, they're going to most likely be like that. And I understand that we do that and understand why we do it. But it's like, I truly believe that if you just let everyone live freely and everyone live without social construction, Like, the world would be some crazy place. People will be doing the most weird and wonderful things, and I think that would be beautiful to watch.
Yeah, oh my gosh, you have one of those brains that I just want to create. You're like my favorite kind of guess. Your brain is just so oh interesting, Like I just want to crawl in there and look think about all the ways you're thinking. You know, it's fascinating. And I think in a very similar way, I'm like, I truly think that the more different things you try, whether you're crap at them or not, like who cares,
you don't have to win it everything. The more things you try, every time you try something new, you find a new piece of your personality. Like, even if it's a piece, it's like, I actually don't like that activity, that's a new piece. And like, the most open minded, broadly skilled and interesting people are the people who've tried lots of random shit and kept going with some of it and haven't with other things. But you're just such
a fascinating human. But I also love that at the same time, you've been able to have this honed in focus on now coming back for Paris, twenty twenty four. So back to boxing. Amidst all this reflection, how are you training? Do you box every day? Like how do you your poor body must just feel thrashed all the time. And where does the ballet fit in? Like, you know, how are you preparing?
Yeah, boxing takes up a lot of my time. It's saying that though I trained twice a day, it sounds like a lot. There's a lot of free time to just wrap with cover, listen to podcasts, to do my own sort of stuff. I like to do ballet once a week. I do travel a lot, so sometimes I'm not able to do it once a week, but it's usually once a week. And I'm just the time peer because I've got a lot of free time. I've got a lot of time to think and I really enjoy.
That ponder in a tree.
Someone said this to me, it's called mental masturbation, and I think that that's I think that's what I do. I'm like, that is such a good point. So I constantly do something that.
I love it amazing.
Yeah, a lot of my time, Like I must admit, it's like it's dedicated to a goal, and I must admit I feel a little bit lost if I don't have a bit of a direction and I'm going in like I do understand that after a fight there is one or two weeks we need to relax, recover, not have anything insight. Did that lasts for more than a month, I'm losing my I noticed my mental clarity and mental stability starts to sort of like falter, and I really need focused direction. I'm very aware of my personality and
it's very extreme. So there's all these positive things that yes, we're talking about right now, and I am all for this, and I am also messy, dark, got trauma, as we all do, some things that I'm navigating some things I'm not proud of, and just understanding that if I don't have direction, if I don't have focus, it could go in a really bad direction. So I'm very aware of that and I have been for a very long time.
I think that's something that's also really great about you, is that, I mean, to the extent that you're comfortable to talk about it. There's a part of this podcast it's all about that, the n ATA, all the things that get in the way of your joy. Because there's so much of that conversation that never makes it to the surface because it's so much like the Olympics and how you going, how are you training? And mindset and ballet and you know, so many headlines are the ballet
dancing plumber becomes a boxing Olympian, which is amazing. I mean, it's so wonderful, But I'm sure there's so much shit that you would want other people trying to emulate what you're doing to understand that it's not all positives, it's not all those headlines. You know, there's a lot of stuff that goes on behind the scenes to get you here. So whatever you're comfortable talking about, what are some of
the big things that challenge you? And I think a really active mind does open you up to such deep pondering. But also like our brains are dark places because the spectrum is broader, I think, which means the highers are higher, but the lowers can be lower as well.
Yeah. Absolutely, It's something that I realized pretty early on before I started boxing, that my brain was quite unique and full on and active, we'll just say active and boxing busy, always on. No, when I started boxing, I was pretty tired. I was pretty exhausted, and that's what physical exercise has always given me. It's given me space and my thoughts and not be as loud. It's given me time for me to be a little bit more
tired and me to have a good sleep. And I noticed when I'm not training that my thoughts are a little bit wilder and it's a little bit less to control. But with the dark things inside of me. It's like I truly believe that most, if not all, successful people, they've all got something that's driving them, and whether that be something that happened when they were really young, whether that be generational, whether that be something someone said to
them in their teenage years, whatever it is. For me, I always felt mine was. People often criticize me and criticize my family, and a lot of I'll be completely honest, a lot of what I do is out of spite. A lot of what I do is to sick the middle finger up to the people who didn't believe in me and believe in my family. And that's a nasty place to be as well, because it's like, am I doing it because I love the sport, or am I
doing it to make my family proud? And telling those people to f off who criticize my family, and I do think about that sometimes also, like I've been battling addiction for my whole life, and I'm just I'm fortunate that my addiction is socially accepted. It causes just as much pain as what other addiction does. It's just socially accepted and people celebrate you for it, so it's different
and you don't get as much help. So I'm fortunate that I'm aware of it, and I'm conscious of it, and I know that if I wasn't doing boxing or
something else, it could be something negative. There's almost been like a bit of a balance in my head of like success boxing, focus on that addiction, and there's also always been something else here to sort of balance it out, something more dark and gloomy, and whether that be substance use when I was younger, whether that be other things, validation, gambling.
At some point, there's always been something else there balancing me out, and I've just watched, like the more conscious I've become, it's like I will be like, no, I'm not going to gamble, and then another addiction will come up, something to balance it out, Yeah, and I won't notice it straight away, but then I'll be like, wait, I'll be spending more time on social media, I'll be posting more, I'll be caring about the how many likes I'm getting.
Or as I said, when I was younger, there was substance, and there's just many things that I notice to sort of counterbalance the success and ambition, addiction and obsession. There's a like the dark area that like no one really talks about it, and it's something that I'm trying to navigate because I don't want to finish sport, especially when I have kids, and be lost and be messy and
not have control of it. And that's why I'm grateful that I'm navigating it now at twenty four and not at thirty five.
I mean, it's incredible that you are self aware enough to even identify your own patterns at such a young age. Like twenty four year old me was like, I don't even like such a mess and just like I would run away from my thoughts. I wouldn't sit with them like I can now and work through them so they're not don't become toxic. I would run as fast as I could and then just be burnt out all the time. It's fascinating that you're able to do it now, like
at twenty four, it's amazing. So I mean, good on you for even being able to identify addictive behaviors let alone go and get help for them. How do you kind of interrupt those cycles? Do you see help? You know, external help? Do you just deal with it internally? Like how do you try and interrupt those cycles or just you know, make sure that you're you're keeping on top of yourself, if that makes sense.
Yeah, I think it's a mixture of internal and external help. So internal I'm very self conscious, and you don't always
win the battle with yourself. But the feeling of like like I said to my partner, like I wouldn't gamble for a certain amount of time and I haven't done it, and it's like that's a good feeling, and it doesn't always work, Like you can say something to yourself but I'm not going to do it, and then you're in you go and do it, and it's like, I think it's more so that I just I crave feeling and this is a messy part of me and something that I'm I don't understand what direction you go in, And
I'm in the sense of like a crave feeling alive and often and boxing makes me feel alive. Extreme things make me feel alive. And the more that you go to the Olympics, the more you do massive things in your sport, that's probably one of the most alive feelings you can feel. And it's like life kind of feels a little bit boring, and I think as well, drug
use does that. It's like you're experiencing this world with substance and feeling and emotion, and then also you come back to normal and it's like life isn't as bright. That makes sense, and it's weird. It's very strange. And I always notice I feel so much clearer and so much better when I'm just I think it's more consistent. It doesn't go as high and it doesn't go as low. But when I'm not in an addiction, in an addictive state, because the addiction will send you up high and then
it will also send you really low. When I'm not in an addiction, I notice it's just more consistent. It's all as high, but it's also not as low. And yeah, but I think I'm grateful that I've got a lot of people around me who are very aware of me. My partner is so supportive of me, and that's probably one of the areas where I've shoveled the most of
my life is a partner. And I'm just really grateful that my partner is super patient and she's open to however I show up, and she's willing and she's wanting to grow with me. So yeah, I'm very grateful that she entered my life about a year ago.
You would her with poetry of.
I'm so incredibly grateful that you are willing to be so open about that side of yourself. Particularly, I think it's easier to talk about something when you're through it, like when you're completely through the other end. So people often talk about burnout or addiction cycles when they're like, yeah, back ten years ago, but I've been fine since now.
But in the throes of it, for you to actually share what it feels like and to explain those highs and lows, I think one of the reasons why people don't identify it earlier is because they don't hear anyone talk about it. They don't no one talks about this stuff because it's you know, there's shame, there's stigma, there's embarrassment or people just don't know how.
To articulate it.
So the fact that you're willing to explain is it just shines so much light on what others might be going through or for other partners whose partners are going through it. You know, the more that we have these conversations, I've never actually heard someone talk about a gambling addiction.
I know it happens, I know it can be incredibly destructive, but you know, if you haven't experienced that, it's so easy to just default to like just don't do it, like just don't spend your money, like as if it's not you know, a psychological cycle that you get in, Like it's not that simple. And I think you explaining the high and the hit that you get from that
because everything else doesn't compare in that moment. That's that's enormously insightful and that and no one can imagine what it's like to go to the Olympics and then have to wait four years if you can go back at all, to get that same Like that's the pinnacle. If you've lived up there, how are you supposed to live for the four years in between before the next one? That no one really talks about.
That No, that's yeah, that's the thing that it's like, I always think that I'll be super ambitious of striving for meeting connection extreme things. I understand that's part of my personality, but yeah, like I often feel like when I'm fifty, it's like, my body is not going to be like it is now at twenty four, Like how is it going to hold out? What's what's going to give me that rush, what's going to give me that thing, or what's going to make me feel alive? And it
is something that is concerning. But as I said, I'm fortunate that I'm thinking about it now at twenty four and not at forty or when it's too late, so I mustn't be. I do put a lot of things in place, and I think it's from my dad. My dad's always thought about the future, and he's very much like living in the future and he's like, Okay, we've got to save enough money so I can't work forever. And it's very much like that, and I think he's
instilled that in me as well. It's very much forward planning, almost too much, and it's like you're not actually really living in the moment. You're just like, hey, what's next.
Yeah, again, that's that other area where it's like fine line between present and mindful, but also like you know, you need to have like a job tomorrow so you can eat.
It's kind of important.
But I think that's another thing.
Like my husband had the same thing when he got injured, Like he did his acl like three times and he stopped running very abruptly, And there was so much sports psychology inside of the sport, but once you quit, there was nothing like and maybe it's I'm sure it's better now.
This was like a decade ago.
But he found that transition from a life where everything is about winning and like silver and bronze is a loss to like trying to translate into a life where there are no gold medals in life, like you just have you have a good, happy life and nothing has to be gold all the time, and you can still have a great life. Like we're not running a raise.
We're all living different lives. And he found it really difficult to like to feel happy and to feel fulfilled because yeah, if he got anything that resembled a silver in like at the bakery or like you know, in normal life activities, he'd be like, my life's shit, I'm shit everything, shit, what's the point of life? And I think it's amazing that you've got a career as well
that isn't competitive. That's just like allows you to build skills and you know, build for a future, that allows you a break from that, like a type let's win kind of thing, like are you plumbing at the moment? Do you do it on the side and do you find that's a nice release from that kind of competitive nature?
Yeah? Absolutely. I always just Peter Bowle, who was a meter runner at the Olympics, he said this one comment like we're all we're all just humid at the end of the day. And I truly think that, like, although of course absolutely I went to the Olympics for boxing, but at the end of the day, like I'm just like my brother who's a plumber and every time I'm back in Melbourne, always give you a hand helping him out. And I'm pretty useless on the tools, but I try
my best, and I think it's so important. I think it's really important to just like, I don't know, I never think that you're above someone. But then also at the same time, something that I'm trying to work on is I never think you're above someone, but then also looking at someone who you strive to be, like, never think that you can't be that.
Actually you mentioned that at start, How are you going to do that differently in Paris? Like you mentioned you had lost before you even turned up last time? Is that because you'd psyched yourself out, like because you were like, I don't belong here or I am I'm not going to? Like what are you changing to turn up in Paris and not have that?
So there's a few things I've been working on in this sense of life for so long. So I only found this out recently about myself. For so long, I kept saying on podcasts or every time I spoke at my story, it's like I just felt I wasn't good enough.
And then I thought about this. I've seen my life coach through about six months, and we realized together that in the moments where at the age of twelve, when I lost my first fight, the reason why I went back, it's because I truly believe that I could do it, or else I wouldn't have went back, or else I
wouldn't even try it. And it's like, for so long I kept telling myself that maybe I'm not good enough, and it's like, no, you've started this, so obviously you believe that you are good enough, or obviously wouldn't have even tried so. And it's just like I'm just trying to change the tone of how I talk about myself, talk to myself. It's like even little things when I'm training. I'll be training, it's like, oh, like it does get
me to new levels I've been training. I'm like, oh, that's not good enough, go up, go up higher in the treadmill, and you're like you're pushing, but it's like encouraging myself more. It's like, mate, that's awesome, right, let's go one more. Come on, you can do this. It's just like changing that tone. And I think that could unlock because I think a lot of my life has been lived in scarcity and fear, where I think in love and abundance, especially in those areas, it's only going
to propel me forward. I believe so true.
I think the most important conversations you ever have are with yourself, and some people really underestimate the fact that, like, well it's in my own brain, like what I'm saying to myself, how could that possibly make a difference no one else can even hear it. I think you hear that more than you hear what anyone else tells you. So switching that could.
Be the mo powerful thing you ever do.
I'm so excited. I'm so excited to watch you head to barrass. So the very last section is where we kind of you know, we've talked a lot about identity, and it's where we strip back the identity that most people know you as, and often most of the time it's the identity that you know and you've constructed for yourself as well, and just talk about what brings you joy. That's totally separate to boxing, that's totally separate to what
you're passionate about. That's totally separate to breaking down stereotypes about masculinity.
But it's just purely for fun.
And often it's things that are not related to anything. You don't have to be good at it, but it's just the things. I kind of define it as those activities that make you forget what time it is when you're in a child comes out and you're just like just having a great time.
What are the play like ways you play.
In your life? Yeah, that's the bit I actually listen to a podcast about this recently, and it's like, clay is one of the most important things. That's why I like, you look at kids and this so like just they're just in their own zone, and I think we lose
as adults. And for me, I've noticed this more so to try and combat how I am in a relationship because I've really been unsuccessful in my past relationships and something it's because I get quite dependent and reliant on my partner and she's a social butterfly, loves going out. But then also as well, I've realized that I need to have my own things.
And oh, you're a stage five clinger.
I am. I've been working on it very hard, but I still am.
You're like little amabor that, but just.
Trying to find those things that I really enjoy, and those things are rock climbing, bouldering. I absolutely love it the best. And for me, the whole world kind of stops and time goes out the window and I'm just focusing on the wall and I'm pretty bad at it. So you're progressing quick. So surfing as well is something that I really love. I think the reasons as to why I love those two things it's because just like boxing, it's quite humbling. Like one, you're never bigger than the ocean.
Ocean always wins, and I'm so bad at rock climbing that really humbles me. So I think that's a beautiful thing, is doing things that you're really bad at and you're like, well, I want to try and beat this wall, or I want to try and get on this wave, And there are two places where I really find a lot of joy and peace and play.
I think it's also almost always activities that you can't they're mutually exclusive with doing anything else, like they consume your whole being. And it's usually because like you choose things that you shit at because if you're good at them, and you just co through them and you'll be able to be on your phone at the same time, like you can't serf and be on your phone.
So I love that.
It's usually like if you can't use your phone, it's a good play to It's so true. Just to finish up, second last question is three interesting things about you that don't normally come up in conversation. And as you said, you're a bit of an open book, so this is.
A hard one.
Yeah, I found this one hard, but I wrote a little list. There's four and you can pull. I much mention all of them, to be honest, But Olympics not living up to what I hoped. That's something that I've been navigating lately, as.
In the result or the overall experience.
A bit of both. And obviously I don't know because I've never been in Olympics, but I don't know if it's because of the COVID, I don't know what it was. And also for me when I was in the actual games, I'm focusing purely on results. I'm there for business. I'm not there to really soak up the experience and go to the dining hall or I'm there to compete. I'm there to win that gold medal. And so because of that,
I'm not going out socializing really taking it in. I was more so just focusing on what I could focus on, and I spent a lot of my time in my room watching a movie or relaxing and focusing on comp So pondering, yeah, pondering hardcore.
I can imagine, you know, like.
A monastery doing like a Zen Buddhist monk kind of like stay just for like you know, a year of like silence, just to let your brain go to town.
I've thought about, you know, I think it's called I can't remember exactly what it's called, but that twenty one for part one day silent meditated. Oh my, that is up my alley.
I actually am surprised you haven't done one yet.
It's time. I really want to. There's a ten day one ten day would still be challenging. There's a ten day one year where I grew up in Melbourne. I really want to try it. So one day.
Yeah, I've had quite a few friends do that, the one in Melbourne. Yeah, yeah, so one day and they like life changing, life changing.
Yeah, they say like day seven, day eight, You're really like no this, I can't do this. And then there's something that happens, say eight day nine, day ten.
So the devil leaves your body and you're like a new person.
The devil enters your body.
Yeah alright, So I already said love for rock climbing and surfing, latch myself to my identity as a teenager something that I've been trying.
To navigate lately. It's like I did things, said things, was things when I was younger. I was hopeless in relationships. I was hopeless to some people, I was a poor human, and I haven't fully forgiven myself for those things when
I was in high school or after high school. And it's like sometimes I latch myself to that identity, yeah, which is something that I'm trying to navigate because it's like I did that say when I'm fifteen, you do something, and then it's like I don't take into account the last ten years of growth and the person that I am right now, and it's like sometimes there's that little bit of like, oh, wonder if people are going to find out the real media because I'm still latching myself
so that identity as a teenager. So that's something that I'm trying to navigate. I'm just trying to let go of things that I did and it's like a bit of a clean slate with self, but it is an ongoing process. And then the last seeing people pleasing tendency, Yeah yeah, a bit of a people please it like, yeah, okay, no worries.
I literally made a TikTok last night.
There was like real footage of me putting my foot down and being assertive to get what I want.
And then it's like me, Dad, do you want thing? No worries, I'll totally do that. Can I do it straight away for you?
I understand, no worries.
If not, oh my god, no pressure, don't even worry especially, don't even worry about It's totally fine. Like ignore what I said. I'm like, oh my god, my life. I'm so bad.
It's crazy. And I thought about it, like why don't we do that. It's like the people that I choose the let in. I don't let in many people, but there's people that I choose to let in. I'm really scared that they're going to leave you or you not love me anymore, or and I think it's just it's just always like oh yeah, whatever, yeah, you know, do we do heaps of access service and yeah, I just it's something that I'm trying to navigate and my life coach.
For anyone who is the people pleaser that's listening to this, it's like, try it for a month. When someone asks you, hey, Harry, do you want to coffee? Just something small like that, just just go hey, can you just give me a sec? And it's like, even if you really want a coffee, you're freeing up the space to actually think about what you want. And it's like even just by saying yeah, and I think that's a really powerful thing. So something
that I've been slowly trying to integrate. Someone asked me, what's something that I want to do? Even if it's something I really want to do, I just go, hey, could just give me a second, I'll come back to you. Or and I think that's a really powerful thing.
That is groundbreaking.
Oh god, it's like giving your body a chance to override.
It's like natural.
Pilot. Yeah, and shout out to to why he should be amenda project And yeah, he's been my life coach about six months and I love everything that is about whoa.
Whoa?
That is like going to change my life, seriously going to change my life.
WHOA. I can't allieve that.
It's like you're so automatic in the way that you answer that just saying I can just imagine someone get the shop being like, what would you like fries?
With that? Hold on?
Give me we have good?
Okay, mate to drive through and there's like twenty cars behind you.
Do you want the prize or not?
Something else is because as I said, relationships something that I really struggle with. Something else is really helped me with It's like role playing arguments with your partner. So it's like when you argued with your partner and things didn't go how you wanted them to go, it's like role playing the actual scenario that you wanted to happen.
And it's like at least that it's in your body because often we're in autopilot in those moments, and it's like if you can do it five times, at least you've done it five times, so your body knows that there is a different direction.
You can go, Oh my god, that's so clever. I just like more and more. Just think, the key to happiness and success in life, not success in terms of like money or anything, but success at getting the life that you want, all the results that you want out of your life is just to hack your own brain, like figure out the patterns that you don't like and then just interrupt them, like practice until you.
Rewire that pathway.
Even like I shared something the other day about even on the podcast or in speaking gigs, not using the word um, like the in law. If you say um, even though it doesn't actually mean anything about your intelligence, it just changes how persuasive you sound to someone else, and no one is ever going to not you know, need to pause every now and then to think about what they're saying. But instead of saying am, you just
change it with another word. You just change it with a sow or and so, and you teach your brain and you're still buying the same amount of time as unbuyas you You just sound so much more eloquent. And I think I shared it on TikTok or something and people were like brain explosion, Like they've never known how lawyers never say um. And it's like they're definitely not not brain farighting. They're just using a different word and they practice replacing that.
You can do that with anything. I love that so clever.
It just brought me back to a thought. When I was in primary school, we spent maths TV, so our time stable to you. You'd be around the room with the teacher and yell at a timestable and she was yelled at four times four and I would say, what did you say? And then in that time, I'm thinking about the poor and then she would say four times four, I'm like sixteen.
It's like I.
Still have I'm like thirty three or whatever. I am now and I still have to go A, B, C D like to figure out which the next letter. I have to go from A every time, So I'm like, well, wait, what did you say ABCD?
I'd like to get love that?
Oh my god's hilarious. And very last question for you, what is your favorite quote?
So's it's quite a long one, but it's The Man in the Arena by Theodore Rash Yeah.
I love that quote.
Yeah, more than happy to read it. But people who don't know it, yeah, look at up. It's unbelievable.
I'll do you read it, Yeah, especially because you are actually the man in the arena, Like this is hilarious because you are a man inside an arena right right now.
This is a boxing match right now. Yeah, excuse my reading. But it's not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man symbols or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who was actually in the arena, whose face is mad by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who ers, who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming,
but who does actually strive to do the deeds. Who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause? Who are the best? Knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, And who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and souls. You neither know victory nor defeat.
Oh my gosh, so good. It's such a good one, the best.
I love that, do you know, Like no other quote has been repeated, Like no other person has had the same favorite quote except that quote.
Like ten people. It's like the most universally quoted quote.
It's it's really helped me in the sense of like pricing in the icuonone cared about what to do with my life, no one coming to no one. And now it's like, yes, you get thousands of positivity and love, but there's that one percent who try and get you, and they said rude things, and you think about that comment and then that quote always brings me back to like they're not in the arena. They don't know what
I'm going through, they don't know what I'm doing. I know I'm striving for it, and I think it always just brings me back to like, Okay, Mars be settled.
Amazing.
Well, Harry, thank you so much for your time. I admire you so much. You will have such an extraordinary and such an extraordinary ability to articulate what's going on up there, So thank you so much for sharing it with our yighborhood as I call. I could have literally talked to you for hours, but I appreciate your time so much.
Thank you so much having me on What a role model right?
I wish I could spend a week or a month shadowing Harry just to learn more from the way his brain works and help share that with young boys, men and really everyone as much as possible. As always, we are so lucky that our guests are so willing to give us their time, So please do share the episode and tag at Harry Underscore Guarside, showering him with yighborhood love, or any takeaways that you have to keep helping us
grow as far and wide as possible. I promise you will very soon be getting another dose of and and yeas of our lives with some reflections from Egypt and the Honeymoon.
So keep your ears appealed.
I hope you're having an amazing week and as seizing your yeay