Feastpod teaser // Life as a gay, First Nations amputee, model and triathlete with James Parr

Welcome to the Seize the Yay Podcast. Busy and happy are not the same thing. We too rarely question what makes the heart seeing. We work, then we rest, but rarely we play and often don't realize there's more than one way. So this is a platform to hear and explore the stories of those who found lives They adore, the good, bad and ugly. The best and worst day

So I am super excited to be introducing our next guest, James Parr, who is the first Nations triathlete and also recently an amputeite.

Yeah, you're like.

Yes, yes, facts about me, James park.

If you had anything else now, I've got a whole list of little things. But then I was just like it was just.

Notes, you know, I got cent notes. I got sent a full James Parr brief.

Because you're very, very active with the notes, and I was like, I feel like I have to be doing some work here.

But it made me even more excited to have you here for main course. So thank you so much for chowing. Like where do we even start?

What do you want to start?

Well, I think there's going to be a massive elephant in the room that everyone's going to ask you about. So let's talk about the leg because let's go out. Let's go hard. Yeah, because I've known you, I've known you for a little bit now.

So absolutely hold on, hold on talking about going out hard. How did you meet?

I feel like you say the wrong story.

Fashion Week first, then Tinder?

Yeah, because last time someone asked the question, he said Tinder and I was like, I'll just leave ago.

I heard Tinder, but there's another story.

No, it was just fashion trying to flex.

No, it was fashion week first, but I don't think we really were so high for literally, so I was like we didn't really meet because I was just like, you know how like you know this about me? At events, I'm kind of like, oh yeah, where I'm like when people talk to me, I'm just kind of like if you're new, I'm just like.

Hi, your neck goes like your chin goes into your neck. You go kind of like he did that. That was your first introduction to come he hates me. You kind of have like not resting bitch face, but like resting and timiding face.

You saw something just like in his own world that I've got to know you more. I just know that you're in your world and when you're out to the public, you're sort of just like I'm here for one job. Yeah, I'm there.

I'm there to do one thing, and I'm like, yeah, hi, how are you?

Okay? Cool?

Okay? So first Fashion Week, you were introduced by someone or you just kind of.

The funny thing is, I don't think you know this. I was sitting with my friend Jack. We talked about Jack a lot.

Shut up. Yeah, we talked abou Jack a lot.

So Jack and I were sitting I love Jack Front Road Try Jack, so little flex there because, to be honest, I was there for a job. I was working with PayPal at the time and they were the main sponsors of Fashion Week. So I was sitting there. We were watching one of the shows and James walked down and Jack and I went, he's cute.

Wait the PayPal one that we just did, like literally, oh my gosh. Okay, yeah, yep, yeah, so you laid eyes on Jane.

Did you watch me?

Oh you didn't know, because we met a couple of days after you walked, So you you went to closing show. Yeah, yeah, so we met a closing show, but I watched you walk a couple of nights before that because because I went to like four of the shows.

So this story goes way back.

Bring the leg into that because when I walked down that run, my fucking foot was squeaking. Oh my god, every fucking step.

So these are the things no one tells you about, the behind the scenes. Okay, So you were walking in a show, you saw the show a couple of days later, you then met in.

Per person, and.

You were just like flirting, but also being awkward with your.

Chin not flirting.

I was just like hello, and then you just had a quick chat.

Yeah, I think, No, you know what it was. I was with my sister, and usually when I'm with Amy, the word's very different where I'm like Amy, Amy, Amy, Amy.

Hello, Hello, Hello, Okay, goodbye Amy.

And then obviously you needed another platform, so then Tinder.

I think how long after the fashion week was here? Maybe a month?

Oh yeah, do you know what's really funny, James, you want to talk about our fucking first date?

My god, have you heard this?

I have not. This is fresh. He kept this from me in anticipation of recording my first reaction.

You know what, I want to keep a good one. I wanted you on, to guess because you've had, like to face so much adversity in your life, and you've gone through so much at such a young age. But at the same time, I was like, Sarah, this is going to be funny.

Because like, because you guys dated, well.

Well you didn't have one on yell everything. Yes, oh yeah, what do we do? So? I came down to Melbourne, came cooked me lunch.

Did you come just for the date?

No? I came. We were going to the Kadashian's premiere. I came. Tommy Hill Figure addressed me. So I came to get the outfit for the Tuesday.

Okay.

So I at that time I was living Cobram, two and a half hours away, So I had planned to come up for the day, get the outfit, go home, then come back just because I had a lot going on at home.

This is the week of the Grand Prix, by the way, Yes, yes, there's everything's connecting for you. Now, why I didn't go to the finale the last day of the Grand Prix.

It's all making sense.

Yep, yeah, yep. So we did that. I went. Then we went out for dinner. Do you went to your restaurant?

Oh yeah, yeah.

I was like, ship did made me the other dude? Oh my god.

Then then we went got to ice cream.

It was a long day, yeah, I know, and it was like a whole day cute.

Anyway, I went to drop him off. My car broke down two blocks away from his house.

Oh my god.

Now I fucking hate cars and I don't know anything. Okay, So we were on the side of the road by yourself. Ye didn't have an r it wasn't like a rural country town like Cobra. We were on South Bank Bulevards, okay.

But still stranded basically.

Random pizza players.

You can just walk across the road to my house.

True, yeah, okay, but you faced adversity together and then what you abandoned your car there?

Well, I signed up for our CV, they told it. I went and stayed at Carnes the day after.

Well because his car was like, you need to explain what happened to the car because right now it's just broken down. Well, they just told it, okay, to the jeep shop. It was the Saturday night, okay, so.

Then you couldn't go anywhere.

Monday, Yeah okay, so yeah, so a weekend of fun.

Can then drove me home to get clothes, and then we came back to Cobram.

Yes, because I felt really bad that he couldn't it anywhere.

Telling me I've got this long drive, and I was like, what the fuck is going on? All makes sense for me.

What had happened was I had a choice on Sunday. I could either go to the Grand Prix or take James back to Cobram because he didn't have a car and had no clothes, and we were like doing like this premiere I think like two days later, Tuesday or something. It was like sometime soon. So we were like, okay, fuck it, let's go on an adventure. So we went to cobrahm.

Oh my god, cue and you know.

I love a road trip.

I love it, like and I loved going into the country like that.

Olive oil in that's not made, that's not made there Wait what yes?

I thought that was Cobram's claim to fame.

No, it's it's it's actually not that far away from it, though I don't know where it's made. It's just and they used to have farms in Combram. They actually moved, because I've been to their farms. I was actually talking about this when I was like, oh, if we go unhunted, I can probably fly into the cobb Room farm and they won't be able to find me because I.

Rich Glenn Rich Glenn is like the where it is oil.

Okay, yeah, okay, yeah, so so that's how you meant Yeah, it gets than that.

There's more.

Yeah, it was like, okay, we went to Cobraham. Did we stay in Cobram for a night. Yeah, We're stayed in Cobram for a night back, we came back and then he basically just stayed me for like three other.

Nights because like the whole because his.

Car was not fixed and he just was not getting it was.

So they're going to get to it after Easter.

Oh my god. So you guys, basically it was just like meant to be this like week of whirlwind romance.

Yeah, so that's literally what we did. Went it went from zero to one Hundredhere was like our first date. Then we're going to this Kardashian premiere. But because we had to go to Cobram and you had nowhere else to go, we stayed together for like five nights.

I got that chance. That's like a full on introduction to a person.

Oh yeah, wow. We got through a lot because I was like I had to listen to Penguin music every time. I keep forgetting about it.

Tell me about you know, when you're.

Like this seeing someone you want to do like weird ships.

No, I don't know that.

I always get in the car after I've towed the car, get into his car, and he got me fucking good, and we're going through Maca's drive through. I just randomly blessed. I just so you know, when I go to sleep, I listen to penguins sound.

You just volunteer that information.

I don't actually do that. He's so fucking r I'm like, how weak.

Can I be?

And does it scare you? So?

I was like, every night before I go to bed, I watch Penguins.

Makes like, what do you even say to that? Exactly?

Emperor or fairy? That's what I said.

Well, you just took that in your stroke. I want to know, and what was it? Emperor Fairy?

No? He said emperor and I was like, as he kept me going, and then to even add more detail, he was like, especially when the little baby one was right off from the pack and they get last night, I.

Just I just.

Drew on all I had.

It's crazy. You are an actual psychopath. Oh well, that's actually an amazing story though. That's an amazing how you first met story.

We also did end up watching Penguin videos that night. You definitely watched them, and you're like, weird house. Yeah, I didn't know that that make the sounds that they do. Have you ever heard them?

Yeah? I have, because I'm kidding anyway, so forgot. Yeah, yeah, so tell it so let's start with the leg. Tell us the backstory.

Yeah, and just so you know, he tells like three different stories and like the first time he told me, I was like, what.

I tell you one?

So you can tell me out with the story, Yeah, do your.

Own choose your favorite story to tell me pick you're an adventure No, because now you know it's fucking made up. Yeah, but I do have some good ones. The last two ones that I've recently used were the surgeon accidentally I was the wrong patient and the surgeon had a mental breakdown. They're the last two of years. I was pretty happy with those.

Word They're great. And then what do people even do? They just stare at you, like.

What do you say that one? They haven't questioned too much someone actually, someone was like ship, did you go to court? And was like, yeah, it cost me a harm and a leg got half price them. So I've done bungee jumping, that the cord like ripped.

Oh my god, that's horrid, horrid.

Ab sailing Okay, that my foot got caught. I have to fabricate it. Every time. I'm like, it doesn't make idn't think that happens, And I think that's it doesn't make sense. Yeah, it's like seventy two hours.

Okay, but you know it would be like, wow, I believe my.

Foot got caught in the rock and then I got tangled up in the rope and then when they come down there like get me down, they had to chop it off.

Oh my god, and that none of that is real? Okay, So what rock you for? It wouldn't it would actually rock me?

Got the puns? Yeah, I need to stop.

You really had me at the edge of a cliff there, like that's just click banger. So what actually happened?

I had cancer?

Oh my god, you really put your foot literally actually did?

That was good? That was also a joke off.

Oh my god, guys therapy after this conversation, I'm so sorry. No, but why I'm sorry that you had cancer. If that's the real story, I don't know what.

I feel it is it is. I had.

That's really awful.

I had osteopsychoma in my ankle. So that's like a rare bone cancer that when your bone is forming and developing, the cubs get modeled up and then just turn cancerous.

Wow.

Yeah, that's crazy. So that was three years ago now.

So in adulthood. It came on.

I'm twenty five, so it was about twenty one twenty two, so I reckon I might have just had one more gross burt okay, but they also did take a year to get diagnosed. Yeah, oh my gosh.

And how did I mean? Like, I don't feel like many people hear about cancer of the foot or cancer of the leg as often.

To the bone.

The bone, yeah, but even in that region of your body, Like, how do you identify it?

So yeah, just paint. So I was working out a special school at the time. We were playing cricket with a plastic cricket bat and it just brushed the side of my ankle like so softly that I full over and you know when you funny bone, like really hard and it sort of paralyzes your leg. Well, it sort of like gave me that sort of feeling, but probably a bit more like nervy. Yeah, And I was like, oh, that was really weird. The mussage just like hit the wrong spot, So it took me a minute to get up.

It in man, Yeah, cute, cu cute, love it.

And so yeah, it was very active. But every time I would train, it would the pain would increase. So eventually I went to the doctor. She told me I how to calcified ligament, and there was nothing that I could do about it. Then I think like two three more months would have went by, and the pain just like kept like it was increasing and like the duration would last longer. Initially it was like every now and then, but then the dura was like I couldn't sleep or

Yeah.

So I left the hospital in a lot of pain. I was like, oh, this doesn't make sense. And then I went home and was still in a lot of pain. Like I actually flew to Sydney straight after the surgery. So I was like limping all around Sydney. I was in that much fucking pain. And then I think, yeah, it would have been about a week later. The nurse rang to be like, oh, how's it going. I was like, no, I'm in so much pain, and she's like, oh, that shouldn't be right, so we'll get the surgeon. So the

What was running for your head at that moment?

I don't even know, Yeah, because just like you have like your life going like full steam ahead and then you have like that one phone call that just like pauses it and you're like I don't even know.

Yeah.

And it was school holidays at times. I was working at a school and I was like, fuck, can I even go back to work, like what am I supposed to be doing right now? And like I just felt like it wasn't real. So I couldn't even tell anyone yep to process what's yeah, to even like call my nan or my auntie or like whoever or my friend back, Hey, I have cancer, Like it was so because I didn't believe I had it, yeah, And.

I reckon if you told people, it would make it more real as well, so it's.

Yeah, yeah, and then my mum has also died from cancer, so like deep down subconsciously, I was like fuck, yeah, like what's going like yeah, maybe this is the end?

Wow?

Like I just yeah. And I think if I talked about it more, they would bring that up. And I just didn't want to have those discussions. And I didn't know all the information myself, so I couldn't give any information apart from the Google search that I did.

Which is always an idea. Google search anything helth related ever.

But it's so my father went through liver cancer and I remember when we got the diagnosis, I spent like two days just googling, like looking for anything, and it's just like you don't really get anything.

You don't you need to know, some more information before you find something shit of Google too, and everyone's different.

It's my case as well, Like everyone's different, but obviously you've gone through it, you've had experience with it through your mum, so that's even more.

Yeah, it hit. It hit harder because I just thought, well, what you've seen, what is my outcome? Yeah, and when you would Google, it would come up in imputation. But then when I had those initial you know, appointments and those sorts of things to review it amputations ever put on the cards. Yeah, they just said we'll give you chemo. So I had three months chemo. Then they reviewed it and they're like, all we all need to do is

Something I think is extraordinary about you in the short time I've even been able to speak to you is that you've obviously reached this point where you're comfortable enough to even talk about this time in your life, but also to to not joke about it, but to laugh and embrace that part of your identity now, which I'm sure was definitely not overnight, definitely not instant, and definitely

Am comfortable to talk about it at such a young age as well, because you've got diagnosing you what two twee.

Yeah, And I imagine before like someone who is especially active, like you know, it would be difficult for anybody, but being a really active young man at the time like that, amputation is almost the worst possible thing that could ever be absolutely, like cancer is one thing, but then it's going to lead to amputation. Is just like, how did you go from that news to now? I mean, it wasn't even that long ago. You're so well adjusted, it's like alarming.

Yeah. Look, I think my childhood really set me up for that. My mum died when I was eight. I ran away from my dad at twelve with a backpack, So all those sorts of things I think enabled me to be really resilient and sort of learn how to be resilient. And you know, when you get given those events in life, how to deal with it and what

Yeah, I love that if for you, even the way you phrase it around unpacking the word disabled, I think that's something that needs to be done more because it is a word that just has these connotations like, yeah, it's got this meaning and you ascribe sadness and you ascribe like challenge and resilience, which of course is part of it. But I like that you're out in society now representing this new way of seeing it. That you're like I can still be on a runway, like I

Yeah, and I think even someone to challenge it because it's all internalized. Yeah, like I'm the first one and put my hand up and say I'm still ablest. That's interesting and not personal, but like you have that that thought that you've been taught, yeah, or you know the same as even when it comes to racism, like I'm not saying I'm racist, but you have those instant connotations that you've been taught with it and not all the

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, those sorts of things I think at myself. And so you know, there was like a year ago when and I had an ultrasound on something. I was pregnant.

I'm so excited.

Maybe it's been a year.

Because happened, fatherhood. Tell us all about it. We'll get to that pregnancy delivery. I want to hear it all.

Okay. Yeah. So I was with her and she was like asking all the questions about interns whatever. I don't really care, like I'm happy to educate people. But then it always gets to the point that's so sad.

Yeah, and you're like, it's not fucking sad.

And I looked at her. I wasn't mad. I just wanted to challenge it, and I was like, you're just saying that because you think that's what you need to say, or that's what you've been taught to say. Yeah, so I'm going to challenge it. I'm going to teach you not to say it. So, and I just looked and I said, okay, so what's sad?

Yeah, like tell me what that Yeah, And.

She looked at me and was like, oh sorry, I'm like, no, you just said it's sad. So what part of my imputation is sad?

Yeah?

Like, I get it, but also have a think about what you're saying, because you've just reiterated that you think my life is sad because I have one leg and at the end of the day, my life is probably better than hers.

Yeah, it's fascinating even how when I said I'm sorry that you had to go through cancer and you're saying, why are you sorry? No one said that to me before, Like, no one's made me why. But yeah, but that is how you recondition the thoughts. By asking a question back, not being like, oh, that's the wrong thing to say, but just asking a question back. It kind of provokes a different thought pattern.

Yeah.

Yeah, wow, so is it your whole leg?

Like?

From where was the people?

Below the knee? So? Okay, just below my calf? I still have my calf.

And how did you get into modeling from special school teaching?

Yeah? So in Cobram, my friend owns a clothing shop, and well her family does, and yeah, one day she was just like, Oh, we're doing some like content for the shop. Do you want to come and join in? Is that Cactus Country?

Oh? I love that plan to you that you know what character's country.

We went to a cactus farm. Wait, not a farm country. It's not a whole country.

It's like you guys did like a full one year. Okay, I always say this is just a massive aside. Sorry to interrupt, but just quickly. Gay time is like different hetero time. Straight, No, it is not. I'm not connotations whatsoever, but like different time. Like I feel like you guys did like a year's worth of relationshipping in like five days.

I think it was more that, like we were kind of thrown into having to do things. So I was like, we're in Cobram.

Let's do the activities.

Ye well, he drove so on the way. I was like, let's just plan something fun. Like why you.

Just went like a cute old married couple. Remember cactus country. Honey.

We also went to like a stone fruit farm.

Oh yeah, it was fun, so wholesome.

I was like, these are the things.

The cactus country was kind of cool, except I'm like, okay, we'll see all.

The Yeah, Cactus Country is like one and done.

Okay, but you're you're like on all the campaign photos.

Oh no, it's just for a shot.

Okay. The real reason this country.

Why I took him there to Cactus Country because you fit right in. You're a brick boom. On that note, thank you so much for joining all the time that we have today.

If you want to learn more about James.

It was a short face.

If you want to learn more about James park, don't.

There is so much more to James Parlo. Literally, it's like a mind map of questions. I'm like, where do I what.

Were we even talking about Cactus Country modeling?

So how did you go from special school teacher to then this journey in the middle that's like a whole process of diagnosis, diagnosis, amputation and.

Then learning to walk yeah, and going.

Yeah, like how did you build?

What do you want to talk about? First?

So you had the had the amputation, and then you weren't working. Obviously you couldn't have work during that time, So yeah, let's start from there. What was the immediate relearning to walk?

Yeah, so have the amputation, had the amputation done on a Tuesday, five days after they told me. What, Yeah, that's fine. Yeah? Is that because they's getting spreads or I don't want me to run away? No? No, yes.

You know all those tiktoks about like how you make a morbid joke to someone and they're like not ready for it, and you're just.

Like, I'm just like I laughed fucking profile on Tinder like personality nine out ten looks like I don't remember the numbers eight out.

Ten legs And then it's like the little thing is perks of dating me, good car parks for the rest of our lives.

Oh my god, you have a disabled cigar.

That's actually why I chopped it off.

We need I had five days and then I realized this is going to save me a lot of time in the future. Okay, so we're gonna go for movies together, just so I can like walk to the door quickly. Fair, you've done this is my problem. I'm like, you made me too.

You can take one of my legs with you and just like slip it in your pa I have a spare one. Actually, it's like, girls, do you know what that's when we fucking dropped your car off. You're like, I should take the leg out of the car.

No, because here eighteen so expensive eighteen thousand, Yeah, it's so expensive.

I have, like, so this one on me right now?

Is it a blade?

No? Yeah, the blades eighteen, This would be twelve run with Yeah, this is twelve, the blades eighteen. I have a waterproof one, which is probably I think eleven.

Oh my god.

Have a cycling one is six the waterproof fucking never. Yeah, like I know, because like if I go to the beach, like the river out the river, because you I don't know anymore, but I also feel like I need That's what I got. The look for has a little slipper on the end. Doesn't really all right, So I believe you for a second when you said flipper, you won't be zerous. Oh no, it has an actual foot. It's

Okay, yeah, okay, so five days of five days to get this whole orientation in your brain.

Okay, yeah, So yep, had the appointment. I actually woke up I think I'm a little bit psychic, but I did.

That's a whole nother whole yeah.

And it is anyway, So I actually had woken up and had a little vision of my surgeon telling me amputation before yeah. Yeah. So I the whole day up until the appointment, I was like googling prosthetics, googling people had prosthetics, and like looking at the way that they walked and then the way that they moved, and just wanted to make myself comfortable with it. So we get to the appointment. I was with my nan and when you go up at Peter McCallen, they print you like

I think, oh, bless And I.

Was like, no, no, it's fine, and they were all like staring at me. I'm like, no, I'm fine. I signed it and then yeah, I was like, someone's going to happen, Like, oh, next.

Tuesday, I call a clean the schedule.

Literally, So yeah, I had the amputation done on Tuesday. Going into into the amputation, I just was like the most bizarre feeling because you're like, I'm about to have something that's going to change my whole life and I don't know how it's going to impact my life or change it.

And you could still walk at that stage right like it's hard to make any decisions.

Painful as well. Yeah, so it was sort of like get rid of it, but then it was like, yeah, I really I've had it for twenty one years.

Yeah, can I just deal with this pain?

Yeah?

And will it go or anyway? So had that wake up you wake up with an epidrool, so ultra sounded.

The delivery.

Yeah, absolutely, and so wake up with an epi drool you have ketamine like you're on some ship in akle. I hated it because I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything, and the thought and the feeling knowing that I had an epidrool, it was like fuck, what if I move and I like paralyzed, like I don't know. It was like constantly freaking me out. And the second thing was was like I don't want to ship in.

A bed, that's your main concern.

Literally. So then it got to the Friday. I argued with them all day. They turned everything off and I never had pain since. Yeah, I actually thought would be really painful. I know that sounds crazy, and I think about it all the time, like whoa, I'd my leg chopped off and it didn't hurt because they close off.

But they would close off your nerve endings or.

Because I can feel it all okay, but because.

You would have an open wound at the bottom right like at the stump.

Of well, yeah, they stitch it up. Yeah, but.

Would hurt.

No, nothing, nothing actually hurt.

So from the moment that it gets amputated, how long until your prosthetic comes?

Yeah?

And then like how does that How long does that process take?

Right? So I went home. I was home for two and a half weeks on crutches, waiting for the wound to heal, so I said in hospital. They sent me home a week after It was probably another week and a half that I then went back and then they cleared the wound to then be healed ready for a prosthetic. You go to rehab. Then they give you the leg that they have there basically for you to learn while they order you in the whole leg. Yeah. So, like I was in patient rehab because I lived in crobraam

Did you have like a recurring cancer that wasn't there or was it? Was it like preventative preventative? Okay?

Once I dropped off to then make sure that your whole body was flushed. Yeah yeah, oh gosh, to make it a bit more safe. So I was back on chemo. I was in the rehabit like Saint Vincent's, and there was like it was just like a very depressing place. And so yeah, it probably took me about a week one side because I was so unmotivated to actually get up and like do the rehab. And I was back in chemo as I was like sick. But and then once I felt actually comfortable to sort of lean onto

Oh my god, that's it seems like a really short amount of time.

Like honestly, in my mind, I thought it was going to take months.

Yeah, yeah, wow.

How long until because you're also a triathlete, so how long did it take for you to learn then to run? Because I think that would be totally different, right than learning how to walk again, because like running longest dance.

Running on this is different to running on the blade. So running on this this gives me no feedback from the ground, no energy, you know, nothing. I can run on this but a long distance. So my very first triathleon was in this. Oh and I ran on this. So the longer I run on this, the more it feels like a plank of wood, like it's just you know. Came third anyway, in case you were rendering, I.

Was definitely wondering, I thank you for feeling for me.

And that's only three people.

Was that is extraordinary? Like a one month rehab and now a triathlete?

What So the blade I probably only got about a year ago because the original processus fucked the blade and so I we nearly.

Went to court, as in like you ordered it, but you didn't get it.

So and built it.

Yeah, and you cut it too short. Oh okay, so then I had to, oh my gosh, for a refund. It's like a whole different kind.

It was like the person so it's like yeah, okay, yeah, someone like you have a processus that will then build it and fit it to you.

Yeah okay, but once you cut it. You can't.

You can't.

Yeah, oh my gosh.

Yeah, how did you go from like a walking again to like athletes running? Were you tte before?

No? Oh my gosh, I think in that time. No, it wasn't.

James.

I'm so confused now because I was like, oh, wait, what you get to try?

Try?

Okay? How do you get into a triathon without being an amputee?

Yeah?

Let alone. You had to relearn to walk true and and and come third. Like, it's not just like I finished one in five thousandth place. It's a legit got a place on the podium. What do you mean?

Yeah, so I don't know, I just did it. I think before the amputation happened, I was I was doing CrossFit like six times a week, okay fit. I was very fit, and I think that was on my on my side, especially with the whole walking again and all that sort of stuff. I was already thinking about starting triathlons when that happened. So when the amputation happened, I was like, I know, no, they're actually pretty easy training stop.

I cannot imagine dealing with that, Like, well.

It's a paratrython, so it's half as a normal triython.

So okay, okay, so it's way easier. It's still a freaking triathlon, dude, Like, wow, that's still like it just finishes in a half marathon.

I'm really scared of deep water.

I am too. Sometimes I really don't worry, Yeah, because I reckon.

If I'm out there, it's open ocean, isn't it.

Yeah, in the bay, yeah, that would ship me. Like I would like be like no, I would swim the river and get anxiety and nearly cry cry in the river.

I could, yeah, literally take it back.

I was like, I remember before I came home in the summer, I was like swimming in the river and I went under the bridge. I was so fucking deep. You know that bridge. Yeah, And I got to that point, just this one point, I was like, I know there's no sharks, yeah, but if something attacks me, you don't know, no crocodile something, because like losing the leg.

No, but you know what I mean.

And I would like, yeah, like what's the hyperventilate and you just went to the side then, No, I was under the bridge. There's no side there.

True, the logistics of the parad I know the bridge, but I'm pretty sure when we were there.

It was quite shallow because it was summer.

Don't yeah probably, no, no, no, it was very it's the murraymy Okay, well when I was swimming, and it was very because I was like in the Murray drink.

February March is at the end of summer, which means that there's no caps have already melted, which means that it's going to be quite.

This was like spring.

Okay, we were there.

I was like, there's no water.

Yeah, true, true, Okay, So I mean you've obviously taken it in your stride. Oh thanks, thanks. I was just waiting to draw that one in and gone on to do things that you weren't even doing before the amputation and running, swimming, riding, modeling, modeling. Yeah, like it obviously hasn't held you back in any way. So how did the modeling come about? Then?

Yeah? So Cactus Yeah, my friend has a family owns the clothing shop. They're doing some promos for that. Went to Cactus Country. We did this just sort of like little video like yeah anyway, yeah, sort of circulated online, and then about a month later I had a creative agent that was doing a photo shoot and directing campaign sitting to my DMS was just like, hey, do you want to come a model for us? And that was my first paid one, and I was like, sure, okay,

Yeah, it's not like what I do.

Yeah, I was just doing it for fun. Then they reached out again with.

The job you got scouted.

Yeah, so they reached out to me again. They're like, we have a job for you. So I was like, I'll do it. So I signed with them, did the job, and then yeah, it just kept it was fast evolving, and then next minute I was on a runway.

Oh so did you ever go back to teaching or did you go straight to modeling.

No, No, I did both. So I worked down in Corobbin full time and then I would balance the two. Yeah, so I would like there were times that I would finish work at three o'clock, come to Melbourne, do a.

Job and drive home and drive home.

Oh my god, yeah, I did that quite quite a few times.

So how long has the modeling career been, like from now backwards? How long have you been doing it?

Two years?

Oh my gosh, that's kind of right.

So it's still like it was during COVID, So it was still yeah, and it's still like evolving. So I think the more you do, the more you aim out there and those sorts of things, the more people find you. And I think my mission with that is representation. And I bring that back to myself because, like I said to you guys before, when I went from able to disabled, I had just that struggle and that in owning the word I'm disabled, that was the only thing that I

The big kind of theme underlying this main cause was identity and how it can change so much, either voluntarily or abruptly and involuntarily, but I like how you have let it not consume your identity but be part of it in a way that you're like, I'm going to control how this becomes.

Past back the exactly because it's not who I am. Yeah, but it is a part of me, and it's very visual, especially when I wear short so it's the first thing. And I also sometimes even get like offended when you're like, oh, this is James is an amputee. That's not all I am, sure, but I'm pretty fucking cool too. I didn't want to say that.

That's the other thing I wanted to ask on this identity piece is I feel like in areas like this, sometimes you'll get either discrimination or curiosity or whatever it is from able bodied people, but that sometimes then you even get the same from other disabled people because you're able passing. Does that ever happen, like because you can hide your disability or because it's a less extreme on

Yes, I think as well, the important thing to take away from that situation or what you just said, is that everyone has struggles in their life. Yeah, and I think we can all acknowledge that, whether it's physical like my disability or not, we all have different struggles. So I think that's the first thing for other people to acknowledge,

Okay, I'm not disabled enough.

Yeah, but it's like what is that?

Yeah, what does that even mean?

Like, yeah, that's why.

It was interesting.

It's only happened like maybe twice, okay, and I've just sort of brushed it off because I'm like.

That's you, Yeah, that's not me.

Yeah, But also like that could just be having a bad day and just really reflecting upon their disability or yeah, you know, because there are days even for me like sometimes I might you know, the last three months, I think when I got back from Sydney, I had a precious all the whole time, and basically my pros or rubbings my proceetic was like rubbing on this one part

Yeah, and it would hurt.

So there like there's that aspect where you know, in that time, I would be like fuck, yeah, I could have that same change, I could have the same thoughts, but yeah, I don't think it would be fair to say anyone's situation is worse than others, Yeah, because I think there's so much more encapsulated into that mm hmm.

That's why I find it interesting when anyone who's got a unique experience, if they get trold or anything, if it's from people in that niche group, it always seems almost more abrupt because it's like you kind of get what I'm going like, you know, and I'm not that I speak from experience in that area, but it's just sometimes.

You see it and it does make sense, and sometimes you do think about it. Do they think that you know what I mean? And I don't know, So I probably am more conscious of it because I sometimes have those thoughts myself too, Like I wonder if they think just have a prosthetic like who cares? You're fine, which I am, But like, I don't think anyone's.

Situations worse than anyone else.

Last what you make it?

Yeah, absolutely, than.

Story is so amazing. There's a lot for people to learn from it as well. They're like, you've got this amazing outlook. You're just kind of like yeah cool.

Yeah. Yeah. When I was driving here, I was like, fuck, it just feels like a whole other life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I even look at photos or pictures of me when I was going through the treatment. I had no hair and I was so bloated all the time, and or even photos of me when I had two legs. I think I look weird. I'll show you one. I look weird with two legs.

Do you ever have phantom feelings?

Yeah? Yes, and no phantom very.

Rarely, but you sometimes do.

Yeah, it might be like a sharp shooter up the hill, Like as I'm walking basically with a phantom pain, your brain doesn't recognize that that body part is missing, so we send a pain signal to get a response. Ah.

Yeah, So you may feel your ankle even though it's not.

Yeah, like I can. I'm moving my big toe right now.

Oh my god, that's so cold.

That's non existent, So your.

Neural pathway is kind of still there.

Yeah, And every now and then, when it's something I don't do every day, or I go to a trip or something, I use my foot that's not there. Yeah, like I just so cool. I can feel it when I do it, but it makes any sense? Yeah? Wow. Yeah. The first couple of days after surgery, do you know when you have that feeling you just want to stretch your toes out. Yes, that's all I had for like

Wow. Yeah, I was reading that your background is your First Nations, Yeah, which is another area, Like I kind of believe it took us a whole episode to get here. There's just so much about you that's fascinating. That's another area of being First Nations, being white passing. How is that it's such an identity piece, Like you have so many facets of identity, where many people only have one or two. You've kind of got so many layers wrapped

Yeah?

How do you get that whole white passing thing from that?

Absolutely? Sometimes people are you're.

White, Yeah you're not, Okay, I am Nations?

Cool?

Yeah, Like what are you saying?

Yeah, you know you can add milk, but it's still coffee baby.

Ye A good way to explain.

Yeah, because like my dad is darker toned, my mom's Irish. I have my mum's skin. Yeah, and so it comes from my dad's side. I left my dad at twelve, so I didn't really have too much knowledge about it. I've just sort of learned over time and something that I really wanted to learn about, and reconnecting with mob and my people, like you find your place the white path. Like, sometimes I am in situations and I think, fuck, do other people look at me? Think why the fuck are

First Nations.

Yeah, yeah, it's still in my blood, still my family, it's still my culture. I still identify as a what's your point? Like, you know in saying that, do you get it? Yeah, it's not that I don't understand it. Yeah, I would probably think the same. Yeah, if I was younger, I didn't have any knowledge to it, Yeah, I would probably think the same. But then it gets to the point where I'm like, why do I have to keep explaining myself and my mom's sorries?

Yeah, it's like you need a T shirt that just explains it Irish and just that's it. Like, but I don't want to explain this over and over again.

People trying to white wash us. This is what happened.

Yeah, but it's why I find it so interesting. One of my really good friends, Rachel Sarry, is an Indigenous artist and she's quite white passing as well and offered, but she's very connected to MOB and and has been on contry a lot, and I mean her art is so beautiful, beautiful, but she gets that all the time that even from within MOB sometimes she gets like like you're too white, like you're not indigenous enough to represent us like you And it's a complex.

I think that's the best part about it though, to show that, yes, we don't represent one element, but we represent the other element. And the element that is is that you know, we were whitewashed and there were stolen generations, and this is now what's happened, even though that would happen,

Yeah, it's interesting. There's so much an identity.

And yeah, and I think over the last like maybe ten years is when I really wanted to like connect and learn more and learn more about my family and MOB and be with Mob. And yeah, amazing.

You have such a good head on your shoulders about it though, Like you seem so willing to explore those different parts of you, but without having like a breakdown about it every single time. I have a lot of breakschouts about my identity all the time. You seem just very balanced. Amazing.

All right, so dessert, let's go through some quick fire questions. This one I'm only reading out because there's an emoji involved, and I was like, funny, what's something you wish you could tell the person you were the day they told you about the leg emoji?

Wait?

What she mean? What's something you wish you could tell the person you were the day they told you about the leak? But she just put the emoji of the leak.

Shit, Yeah, that's such a deep question, I did say, but I love they dropped.

An emoji and then to soften.

It, like let's just saw the day that I found out. Yeah, whoa, Probably just it's going to be okay. And I know that sounds so so silly, but it comes down to the fear of the unknown. I also say something just as basic as it's going to be okay, because before I lost my leg, I felt like, you know, I had come out, I had lost weight because I was unhappy, and I found new confidence. All these things happened. And then when I got told that was happening, I was like,

So we've gone through something deep to something super not deep. There's actually another level to the next question, but I'm going to start light first. Do you sleep with the leg on?

No? Next question.

I feel like you could have answered.

That question.

Because it leads up to the other questions like is it sex? Yeah?

Did someone asks that? I'm not telling you what was it you?

No, it wasn't mean. But I actually want to like as in what was it? As in do you take it off?

What do I do during? Depends where you want to fox, stand up or not? Like one story short, but like what do you use your fee for? Have a little thing?

Well, it depends what kind of sex we find only fans conversations on the show.

So you know, my knee is there? My knees there? Now you're fine, Just give me a second, I'll chuck it back on.

Oh wait, so you usually start without it on?

Well, it depends on what.

What you were doing when you started.

If we're going for like I walked down in an alleyways on, I mean we're not no, Like if we're in the bed, there's no point for me to have it on the raft.

Yeah, it's just what you were already doing. Yeah.

If we move from the couch to the bedroom, yeah we and you're not. That's how if I kept saying and like.

Ship are we doing this?

He's like he's fine, I have one, don't.

He's got a leg up on me. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Look, if we're like go from the couch, like I'm going to take it off on the couch.

Yeah, But if you're going we get to the bedroom.

Yeah, yeah, this is from me.

Is there any support like government anything like that from when you kind of first found out, like, is there any like funds?

So I have that's the ability. Like I'm really really like like right now, I have no idea what you just said, so m dis Basically what they do is they meet with you, you talk about your needs, what you need, and then you have like a processus and an out and all those sorts of assessments to put forward what your needs are. Then they come back and then they give you those funds based on deemed what's

Yes, okay, cool question. So you did a Q and A the other day of your frequently Asked question fright, Yeah, do people ask you about the sex thing? Because I'm really curious.

About that, all right, So that was that was a rant that I went on from Grinder because oh it was an old and I recycled it because I wanted to have the conversation because sometimes people will just slide into my d MS or on Tinder or something anywhere and just like, how do you have sex? It's not appropriate?

You're just like, no, hello.

In this situation, sure, because I've opened up, yeah to that, Like imagine me just messaging you.

No introduction, No we don't know each other, like yeah, yeah.

It's not appropriate. And you're also intruding on someone's life, in someone's personal life, to gain something from it, whether it's a laugh, which it would definitely a laugh. I know the toxicity of grinder. Yeah, I'm not taking away that, but there's also I'm a person. Yeah, you don't just message me and be like, how do you have sex?

Yeah, Like, yeah, that's.

The valuing because you're also having a bit of a laugh. Yeah, and you think it's funny, Like it's not.

But you also assume that you like have time to just sit and answer, Like if it is curiosity, it's like, could you ask me, like how I am I get curiosity?

Don't? Yeh don't. I would be curious too, But it's just an appropriate question. If you were like a sexual partner to someone who has a disability and there's something that you need to know for you to have a better experience, Yeah, that's an appropriate question. But nine times out of ten the person will or actually already tell you. That's where it's appropriate, not just the first message. Yeah, that's where I get like, not funny.

I feel like if there's a genuine reason, they'll probably preface the message with James like I'm in this position. I'm just you know, like they wouldn't be like.

I would help, and like you still need to talk to them because there's a conversation I can have with you. Their needs different to mine, if there are any needs, Yeah, maybe they're like fucking with it on like.

What's the biggest thing that has surprised you about it? About the whole experience, but that pre amputation you didn't.

Expect oh about like everyone there?

Yeah, that surprised you or that was like that you would have been curious about, Like they wouldn't been one of the questions you would have asked other than the sex thing, because that definitely would have been your question. I can tell.

I think the reababilitation, Yeah, that because that was the first thing that I was so worried about, and even returning to work, I was like shit, you know, I went back to work three months after after I finished all treatment, after I finished all treatment, and I was fine full time. That they were like all my worries because basically, for a whole year I had my life put on pause. There's nothing I could do about it. So I think it was how will I be independent afterwards?

And I'll just win a triathlon. Oh my gosh. Well and talking about like visibility and showing people that they can do things they never that other people would assume they can't. I mean you've you've done that above and beyond and continue to do so and it's so inspiring.

So where can we find you?

James other thing brinder.

And my instagram what is it? Underscore? I'm trying to get you to like plug yourself. Sorry I wasn't thinking King. My Instagram is Underscore. James par and my management is Bell Management and my manager is Jason. So if you have any business inquiries.

It's that across all platforms that use the name. So TikTok as well.

TikTok is James par with three hours, so just James Par only two, Yeah, only two. I have TikTok. Go watch my viral video. You've seen that.

Yeah, I'm gonna go watch it right now. I'm so excited.

And for those of you at home, please follow us at feast pod give us a rating on all the platforms that you listen to us from. Personally, I really love Spotify to jump on there. This episode has been super, super eye opening for us. Let us know what you think. Thank you so much James for joining us today, thank you for having me. And yeah, and that's the end of fucking entre, mains and dessert. Hopefully you're four and we'll feed you again next time you