Hello, beautiful people, we suck. Welcome back to CZA for a new year, new me, new year, new podcast, new organization.
Your new promises never stick to honestly.
So as you have probably noticed, given how many of you have asked us about this, Part two of Andrew's Q and A did not go up because we both went away and it just wasn't right and then we're on holidays and our brain. You will hear all about it in our official first episode back for twenty twenty three.
This is obviously the second part of Andre's anonymous Q and A from last year, the bombshell one with so much excitement in it, but obviously the time references will all be out, so giving this to you so it's in your ears now, How are you feeling, Bim? Do you remember anything about what.
We do know me? Either?
Literally?
I think it was got nice, was nice, It was love. I think that was the all feeling of it. So I'm looking forward to here.
And I feel like we wanted to be together when it came out, and then we weren't and you were in New Zealand. Anyway, as you guys know, we now have and on board like properly like properly now that you've like cuya, so.
It's actually executive.
What did I say, No, you said actiations, Educations manager. And we've had a great planning meeting today, so you are actually going to get a lot more organization and efficiency and fulfilled promises. So we promised that in a very short amount of time you will get a New Year, New Me episode where we actually talk about what we did on the holidays, how are feeling about a new year,
what's coming out. We planed our first event for the year as well, which you'll hear about very soon, But for now, please enjoy the follow up to Andre's anonymous Q and A. We hope you enjoy and you'll be hearing so much more of us this year.
Enjoy.
Also, this is not on my microphone on my phone because lol.
Joy bye.
Welcome to the Seize the Ya podcast. Busy and happy are not the same thing. We too rarely question what makes the heart seeing We work, then we rest, but rarely we play and often don't realize there's more than one way. So this is a platform to hear and explore the stories of those who found lives. They adore, the good, bad and ugly. The best and worst day
will bear all the facets of seizing your yea. I'm Sarah Davidson or a spoonful of Sarah, a lawyer turned fu entrepreneur who swapped the suits and heels to co found matcha Maiden and matcha Milk Bar. Sez the Ya is a series of conversations on finding a life you love and exploring the self doubt, challenge, joy and fulfillment
along the way. Welcome back. This is part two of and asnonymous Q and A. Because we got through life like what one question one question last time, and we were just going to go straight through and record a second one, but I was koh, like my brain.
Both oh my god.
Well because it was a big episode. It was a big episode.
Or so we're just getting old.
We're just getting old. They are getting old, And well.
I am still really quite tired.
So An came over last night, literally came into our room. We watched like ten minutes of met We force fed her meme. So we do We've spoken about this before, but whenever Anne comes to her house, we do show and tell, and Nick and I fight for like and and look at this, look at this, and like we fight for her attention. So we got about three memes down and then you're like, okay, bye, guys, go to bed. It was eight thirty pm and then I woke up before you, which also never happened.
And then I was like slowly backing out into the room mix.
Like watch another one watch it was a video.
Because well it's not finish. I was like, oh okay, but I sit myself back down.
Not finished.
It was like one ad and I was like, okay, well good night. He's like, it's not finished. It was an AD break and it was ten minutes of like highlights of tiktoks, like it was just like.
It was a compilation of funniest British tiktoks, which is actually pretty pretty funny if anyone needs to laugh. But yeah, so we separated the two parts instead of doing them straight off the back of each other. We've covered the career questions. We covered that's it, like we didn't do any other category wish honestly, and today's is a big juicy one. As we mentioned, left you on a cliffhanger. But before we get back into it, thank you also
for all your incredible questions. We didn't do a fifth Q and a submission because we already have too many questions to get through and it's very popular and just not and he's very popular. And to back this up, so just as a quick little tidbit, I became a stylist and makeup hardest over the weekend and it was the best yay of my life. So, speaking of yays of our lives, neighborhood watch note for this weekend and went to a wedding and got a make cover, a
yay kover a yay go. So you explained, that's so much to explain.
Sarah knows that I think there's a misconception. Although actually no, it's a problems.
It's a conception.
What's what would you call it? A conception? What did you call it? Was not a mis it's a true conception. Well, there's not much to concept from. So it's like I clearly don't like for a long time, I was like an active actory all the time because I whatever yellow.
Yeah.
And then I was like, but I actually really enjoy getting dressed up, which Sarah does actually know. Yeah, And people were like, oh, like you must hate it, and I was like, no, I just don't do it often.
No, But you used to be like a fashionista.
You only know that because I tell you and you're just photo photos.
Yeah.
I used to love, like when I was early in high school. I still love like wearing whatever like indie and shop clothes or whatever. And then I just got cycling and then I never really walked clothes again. But then rocking around Nate straight up nude, you know.
Yeah, you've just gone like.
Full active wear. Yeah, but not just active, like not even going out active wear. You know, that's like going out. You've got your going out active. Everyone who's listening, I hope you relate to this. I feel like we all do. There's like you're going out active where that's like nice, and then there's like you're active where that's like pilly the actively wear pills, Like that's me sing stinky. A few interventions like get off my bed, go and have a shower.
You fucking gross the cop like two boxing sessions and around like hugging Sarah.
Yeah, I'm like, get of me. I love you.
So I had a wedding on the weekend and yeah, normally I kind of just like whatever, but someone I was like, no, like what to see? I want to see what Sarah has, which normally I'm like, I would not fit it, but I was like, you know, there's probably things that are stretchy that could probably fit.
And we kind of raid my wardrobe regularly. Yeah.
Yeah. And then so we like finalized a few, tried on a few, fell in love with one, and I was like, this is it was.
A whole you screenshot of things from back like two years.
I like this this, so it's like I don't I don't happen to have that anymore?
Why no? On rotation?
So and also funny because you know how you normally Pinterest or like save a whole bunch of people's looks and things mine wall just I don't look exactly like this, exactly exactly like this.
And then like over the course of three catch ups, I brought up and you try them on and then be like, can you like bring this? And I was like, what's wrong with the other?
True and the only person I like know and trust and love to do my makeup and hair well, partly because I just wouldn't even know how to do it, and secondly like Sarah just knows me and what I like and like how I like to be comfortable. So she rocked up. I was like, m joke and I can do it. Before she did you like ditch a birthday party, organize the whole like space like how to chairitady chair in the natural law charity like organized where I possibly could take my perform and after video.
I hadn't tried pod for that. I read your eyes so chry ready.
Literally it was such a service. And then we had forty five minutes, like strictly forty five minutes. Did all of my hair again. The inspo was just like previous postal Sarah, it's being like, what about this one? And then like glammed me up and it was actually a proper I think previous time you've done like my makeup and stuff.
Yeah, it was nice.
It was like for physio ball and whatever, but this time actually felt very elegant and very like I was telling you this before. I was like very confident in my skin, very comfortable, and also like easy, breezy, cover girl, beautiful cover girl. At the same time, I don't say the word, but I was hot.
So she goes last night and I was like, why were you so tired? It's heart being hot, okay, being hot all again, but you actually looked amazing. Okay, this is a testament. So two things. One is the text from my mom, So of course I took the photos and then I sent them to my mom and my aunties because Andrew's like their adopted other daughter. I didn't get a reply, but she texted you straight away, going, you look like you're in your skin. You're just glowing.
But the real proper like measure of how intense this was is I sent it to Nick Goes, which is so cute because he knew I set up the room and everything. Yeah, he goes, how's the makeup going, like, because he knows I get really excited to do it. And I sent a picture back and he goes, instead of like, oh she doesn't.
Look like a boy today, he always because that's how that's how he like shows me love. Yeah. Yeah, I'm like his little sister. So he's like, it can't be too nice to her cool nice oh yeah yeah, good.
One or something or like thumbs up emoji. He goes, oh wow, And I was like, I know, oh wow, like the transformations many ohs, many do w's and backhanded like yeah, it was insult and so I screenshot immediately and sent it to you, even though I definitely not meant to do that, but it was like and then your.
Parents, my parents, No, my parents' responses were I'm so proud of you, like as in, so proud of you for looking like a human. I was like, thank you.
And then your mom was like, you look like Sarah.
Literally, your parents are so proud that two things came true. That you look like me. It's true, but I didn't grow up with my parents one me they're proud of me. Ever, all of a sudden, I were a dressed like, I'm so proud of me.
I know, it's not like you graduate yet or you're like top of your class, so you like rode from Adelaide to Melbourne. It's you look like Sarah today. But the engagement, even on my stories of you was like unbelievable. This is how popular you are. Like literally everyone who is so invested in you. People I have never commented before, they're like, she looks so pretty, like as in they know what you look like and they knew the transformation. And I even got wow, I didn't know she was
a sex kitten. Well what was that? I don't know, but that leads us really nicely to relationships because you are a sex.
Okay, great, but what's one thing I have to say. The wedding was beautiful. It's actually about Fitz. I love an a Door so much. It was such a beautiful wedding and so much happiness.
So yeah, and random six roys of separation. You know Organic Crew, the really beautiful Bam that's her cousin. Yeah, yeah, Mel was there.
Yeah. Oh I didn't even really Yeah.
So she I think you've seen you know the yeah, the organic cotton and everything. So there's this beautiful brand that's founded by an incredible Malvine woman called Mel and since matcha maiden the very very early days, we did a lot of work together. She does a lot of work with two other women who I love, you guys know, Sarah from Organica who does my hair and her incredible organic natural salon in Elwood and Carton is amazing. And then Danielle from Simple as That Skin, who has yet
incredible skincare range, also natural organic, just beautiful. Us four I have like known each other for years. And Nat from Green Street anyway, I didn't twig that she has the same surname. I just forgot, but I was on her page, and I was like, that wedding looks really familiar.
I wish I remember what I have gone said, Hi, I.
Know what a small world.
Yeah okay, so okay.
Anyway, so we are up to the relationship section, speaking of weddings, relationship section of Andre's questions, which is the bombshell section. This is the cliffhanger that we left you on, the stress, the cliffhanger on which.
We left you.
So let's start with some of the like fast fire, easy ones, how many excess do you.
Have one one actual X? Yeah makes sense? Yeah, okay, and then we never really get to the point to become relationship to X if that makes sense.
Yeah, okay, okay. And that was the one that like you actually launched hard launched on Instagram. I guess, so yeah, and then yeah that was and then and then it was like, oh, yeah, okay, okay, this is interesting question. Stats show single women are happier and live longer than coupled up women. Do you agree or disagree? You've lived for like a minute, so I don't feel like you qualified.
Eighty years of relationship. It's a really interesting question. I actually I've had the discussion a lot recently, But I
I don't know. I feel like I believe both that you can have a really thriving life with a partner so long as it's a partner that you really do love and want to be with, and that betters you because I feel like perhaps with a lot of relationships are there because it's their content in it, which is very different to being you know, like it's a relationship where it's like a you get you're a better person
from it, you grow together. But then I'm like, well, but if it is a very like content type relationship, then you are actually probably better off being single and getting that kind of love in companionship from your friends. The only thing that you, guys, I guess lose is like an intimacy or romantic like your physical intimacy. But yeah, I actually kind of believe both. I think if you're in the right relationship, yeah, one hundred percent, being with
someone's always being better. Like you, like we've spoken about this, you don't ever need someone, but having someone can make your life so much better. Yeah, if it's the right person. So totally.
Yeah, So something that's come up a lot. I can't remember if we spoke about this in the last episode or not, but something that's come up a lot in the last little while for me with either people who are single and struggling on the dating scene or people who are in long term relationships and are entering that first sort of hurdle phase of oh my gosh, relationships
are hard. You know that, like everyone gets to a bit where the novelty wears off and the honeymoon period, you know, and you have to like start to work hard at it. The analogy that has helped me enormously personally but also in all of these conversations is the pie chart analogy, where every person represents their own pie chart, and there's certain areas where you're really really strong and
certain areas where you're not as strong. And what people need to look for in a partner is the person who, like you're never necessarily going to find the one hundred percent package, they might become your hundred percent package over years of working towards the same thing, but probably on the street, you're just not going to find someone who ticks all your boxes, but all they have to tick is the ones that you really care about, because our priority is all different, which is why you know some
people will be like, Oh, you guys have so much adventure and blah blah blah, and then you know and that they like that, but they have all the other things, you know. I feel like if you start to look at your relationship and yourself as a pie chart, and you get like the thing you prioritize, the things that you really care about and the others you can work on over time. You know what your non negotiables are and you distinguish those from the things that aren't as
important to you. And also that you're not always looking for someone to fill all of your gaps. You need to feel those yourself and then come to the table.
I feel like that's why this is a mass generalization, but I've the question is really interesting for me because I feel like, particularly in second relationships and often second marriages, it seems as though men's pattern is often to use their partner to fill the parts of their pie chart that aren't full, whereas women who have been married before and then go into their post first relationship life, they often don't repartner because they learn to fill those gaps
with their girlfriends or with other areas of their life, so they don't go straight into needing another partner, which is why I think the question was why to single women, the stats show that they're happier and longer. I think it's because they find how to fill their pie chart without the relationship and be independent of that, and then the relationship is such a bonus. It brings so much depth to your life, but you don't need it. Yeah, for sure, I don't know what the scientific basis is
for that. It's just I like pies well as pie charts are.
Pretty, and as you guys are, this is actually quite a science backed podcast.
Yeah, we definitely all my Sarah theory. So we also have this thing called Sarah theory where I try and explain everything based on something that's from my own random brain and has no scientific backing whatsoever. But the pie chat analogy has really helped people recently where they're like, oh, I'm waiting for my partner to feel all of the pie chart and they really only need to meet seventy five percent of my non negotiables and then the others we can work on.
That's exactly how they say it.
My part chart is not full, but.
Now it is.
He I'm a very visual person, you are, and that really helps me anyway. Okay, so there are some really interesting questions about Nick and I which snuck into this. I leave those two laughter. No, no, no, till after your bombshell, because I think that's more my bombshell. It's more important, it's more important. But firstly, some more and fast fire questions which I don't know why they're in this section. What is it like to sweat from your nose?
Only I don't know what that's in this section either from relationships because.
It impacts your relationships deeply.
It's it is hard work, you know, Like I don't really answer the question, what's it like? It's it's wet, it's sweaty.
From Daddy Kennedy.
I have no idea I reckons from Jenna or something. Sure was seeing about the sweaty nose.
Small shout out to Danny Kennedy, who also records his incredible fitness and lifestyle podcast from Annotate Agency where we are right now. Kane has listened to. Kane sits in on all our episodes. By the way, poor guy, I know, honestly a bullshit. He gets Danny's proper science backed fitness, proper interviews, and then our absolute chaos. Danny often has
pointed out, because he's trained with both of us. Many times he's like, wow, you guys really crack a sweat straight on your nose and nowhere else.
Literally, it's only on my nostrils. Yeah, actually, I like.
Everyone nostrils, like on your nose.
Nose.
Pause. Actually I sweat everywhere, but my nose paws are intense. And the only thing it does affect with my dating is sometimes when I'm like a bit sweaty and then we have to the door spill smooth.
It's a bit sweaty, so you have to like blot your nose first before I pash.
I'll do it.
But yeah, Danny has actually like we send him photo sometimes of just because our nose breaks first. That's what it is.
It's actually sometimes it's the only part of the body that sweats. It's like it's like maybe someone grafted my armpit hair on my nose. I mean, okay, next question, next question, that's really sides back.
Okay, personality your looks ah, it's such an easy one for you.
Look current relationship. It's personality.
No, I think it's really nice. Into The next question is and dating anyone? Oh, my god, oh my god, it's a.
Way more excited about this that I am.
Not act cool.
I feel like because she's my big sisters, it's so hot.
I am either your big sister, your daughter, or your mom. It changes all the time. Side note how much was either proud mom at the school form or taking all the photos like okay, come in the good light, take okay, post this way. Oh my god sends me. My friends are uploading it. To my face, I was your mom.
I was like, I actually do have to go because okay, don't worry about it. And so if you put your backs down here, just a quick one, just one in front of the house, front, in the doorway. The moms are like in the garden, in the garden, straight to the garden.
This will look really nice. I'll frame it.
Hold this, hold this flower.
Back to my excitement. Is in a relationship? Okay, keep going, that's the question. Oh my god.
Okay.
So the other thing she does when she really cares about something and is like really invested is instead of being like this fountain of words, she goes I'm like, I'm always like, how's it going? And she goes, well, what do you want to know? Which is like the weirdest answer because Ange never doesn't just word vomit everything. She'll go no, but what specifically, And I'm.
Like, you're not a shy girl. I'm so shy.
Okay, so tell us about this relationship, Like, what do you disclaimer for the respect of your partner who is not really in the podcast?
That's not real, that's just.
Imaginary, which is also fine because inclusivity a for all.
No, I think I've actually always been a private person about.
My relationship life. You're not going to name names or anything but her name name, because there is a name.
There is not even real. Yeah, I've never been really opened about my dating life. I feel like because I'm opening that so much of my life, it's the one part of my life that I kind of protect.
Yeah, I mean, your legs are open, but you're not open about.
Legs. It's because I have a chunky trunks. I just don't cross.
I can't cross my legs. No, sorry, I'm deflecting.
No, we've been together for like like since August, so a little wow. It's very loving, it's very healthy. So you're really waiting for me, it's really to drop this. It's we didn't practice this.
No we didn't, but that's even better because this is really momentous and I must say I'm very humbled that you are happy to do it here.
No, it's so fine. And also because I said to you, I think we have to appreciate all stages of relationships. You can't just like talk about it when it's like really good and really secure, because that's not always like it's not always like that, you know anyway, So but together since like like kind of dating since August, and I've been I've always been a very like open person with like people, and I don't you know me, I
don't like labels. I feel like labels confine you to a group that means you can't be fluid and move around. But Sarah's always known that kind I've been quite open with in terms of like who like I would go for, not like there's a specific type or anything. But I've never been like closed minded to any kind of like gender or sexuality or anything like that. I think in the past probably i've like defaulted like dating guys and things, but I've never been closed off to the idea of
like exploring everything else. So yeah, well, I am in like a same sex relationship with a girl, and I love it very much and it's all very nice.
You said you love her.
No, actually I said, like, like, I think you should make that clear. So we we just like like each other.
We had been through so I found out in the light in the not saying the L word phase, Oh yeah, like we.
You'd say true.
Okay, bye, Sarah, I love you okay by person, I like you.
I was so cute conscious effort to say you were, like, I love you more than a friend a friend.
But I think what's really interesting about you is that it wasn't like it was something you needed to tell me because you had never been in the same sexual relationship before. But it also wasn't something that you needed to tell me in that you'd never actually been hetero before either. You'd kind of always just been this person who never saw gender or like. I think one thing I love about you so much is you don't really
see age race, like you just see people. You've always seen people, and you have never discriminated between Like you get really attracted to personalities and even in your friendships, like I don't think you see people's the features that put them in boxes. Otherwise in society, you don't really see them. You've always seen beyond them, and so it kind of wasn't really even something. It wasn't even really an announced I was just like, ah, yeah, I.
Think that's why when I was telling you about her, I was like, it wasn't actually a high. It was in like a coming out situation. It was like, Hi, I actually like someone. This is the person. It was. It was an announcement of me being like dating someone a relationship or liking someone, as opposed to like, oh, by the way, it's like the gender was the reveal. It was. The reveal was actually just more about the
fact that I was like really liked someone. And so it was like and I the response that I got from all of my first mates when I told them was exactly what I thought it was going to be. It was like excited, not because they thought that I was like coming out or anything. It was excited because I was like actually like giddy about.
Something, which I don't often totally.
I'm not often like I'm not that I'm hard to please, but I am a little bit hard to please in that sense totally.
It was such a conversation of like, like I think you maybe thought it was gonna be a bigger deal like that that like you were like it's a girl, yeah, And I was like, oh.
My god, you like somebody? Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean, and just like okay, and but like that's not contextual. I guess this is. I don't know. I didn't really think about this deeply in terms of like us talking about this on here, because I've just never been a one to be like like coming out or
whatever whatever. But like I would say, memberism, like a lot of my family wouldn't even know, because my cousins, a lot of my friends, like some people that I've told, they're like, oh my god, I didn't know you were that, Like I didn't know that's what And I was like, what do you mean? Like what an? I think it's been a very interesting experience about how people respond to the conversation, like if some people just don't respond because it's so normalized and it's so whatever. Yeah, and then
some people are like, oh, I didn't know that. It was like, oh, sorry, I didn't know that.
I didn't know that I was out and yeah, but like you weren't in any I don't.
Feel like this isn't in or out, which is why I think I haven't really properly thought about how others might perceive this conversation because I really don't believe in the whole coming out thing, because I don't feel like you should all have to. But at the same time, I can appreciate sometimes for people coming out, it's very liberating and feels like they can finally be themselves and
like openly. So yeah, I do don't really think this is like I think this was more a discussion of like whoever I was dating, And yeah, I think it'll come to a surprise to a lot of people that maybe don't know me as deeply as you might know me. But yeah, it's all very lovely, it's all very nice, it's all very healthy. Yeah, I'm so happy for you.
Yeah, I think it is really interesting that you're very We've had this conversation before about like you shouldn't need to come out, particularly if you weren't not out before. But I also think we had this conversation on Feast recently that for some people who were in the closet for themselves, like or not in the closet, sorry, who hadn't even come to that realization in their own identity. Coming out allows them to draw a line in the sand in their identity of like, I didn't know who
I was before, and now this is who I am. Like, sometimes labels are limiting and confining, but sometimes I think they're helpful when people want to acknowledge a big shift. Whereas for you, I don't think there was a shift. I think you just found a new person who you fell in love with, and they just happened to be a different gender to the last person you were in a relationship with. Do you know what I mean? Like, it wasn't a big shift for you.
Yeah, And I think I can see both sides. Like for me, I find a label for me really confining. But then again, it's the same concept as when people ask me, you know, what are you going to be in five years? I was like, I don't know. I find that question really like restricting because then if I say something, I feel like I have to hold that to truth and I have to go towards that path, and it means I got really delineate if something does happen.
And the same with this, like I'm like if the minute you're kind of given a label people put you in that box, particularly with sexuality, and then you can't be fluid about that. And then if you go the other way, they're like, oh no, like she's but she's but she's like a lesbian. But you're like, well, like what if you know, it's a very fluid thing, you know, So I just don't put a label. And I kind of doesn't, like, I just am like, I don't even know what I am. So I'm kind of just am I am.
You are foot, Yeah, I'm foot. You're your own category.
Yeah, but I can actually appreciate for a lot of people it brings like this beautiful sense of like home and belonging to a group and so like it's a personal thing for me with the whole label's thing, But yeah, I can appreciate both sides of it. I just hope that when people, maybe some of the people listening, that it's I think, not to assume someone's sexually just because of who they're dating. Yeah, because it's quite common for people to be like, Okay, well now that you're a lesbian.
I'm like, well, because it's not like not really case and I've never said that, and just because you're dating someone on the same sex. It doesn't necessarily mean that you're one way, like you're only one way, only the other way. Yeah, you know, like it's really easy. And I think I used to do it as well. Like the minute see someone with the same seat, they're like, oh, that that person's gay. Yeah, when like it's so it's like there's all these a big spectrum of like what you are and can be.
It's LGBT.
Oh my gosh, Sarah, I thought, cue I did it.
It was curious. I did it. I just said something and then I said it again.
I was like eight for.
Ally allies, Oh my god. And then you were like, that's not even what Oh my god.
Is so great.
But what's really interesting is, yeah, I think being in the moment because a lot of my friends who have come out or not come out or have you know, sit on that spectrum of sexuality. I've known them since I've been in the identity therein now I hadn't hadn't been there in the process of people around them finding out and responding. It's been really interesting to watch people respond to you and try and be like okay, so are you buy now, Like yeah, you're out now, and yeah,
it's sure, it's stude. I'm just like I just fell in love with someone, Like that's it.
It's like I'm just in a relationship. But and yeah, like it is same sexy, Like there's a lot of learnings and there's like lots of nuances, but it's like learning a lot of learnings. You've had a lot of I've had a lot of learnings.
Yeah, even I have had like some moments me things. Experimentation means I know a little bit more like genuinely at.
Least I was like this and this and this. I was like, wait, well, how do you know that? And she's like, well, you know, I'm an ally in the longer younger days. Curious no, like yeah, because I know it's new, but it's not new. You know, it feels very safe and comfortable, but it's new in that I think, Yeah, there's nuances of being in the same sex relationship that you learn. And she's been really great, like really really great. I love her.
She passed the best friend, which would be intimidating to like walk into us being it's true our own weird life so stupid.
So we're so like we will have this like dinner and then so and I get out our little stupid things. We were like Google and hysterically laughing.
And there were like other guests there we did not know who we should have paved better, could not hold it together over Google. It like, it's not even that funny when we.
Tried to, it's not at all. And it was in a public space, I know, And we were like, we tried to hold it together, but our like shoulders were shaking, our nostrils were.
Flaring, nostrils flaring. And then she goes, I'm so glad you have Sarah, because like no one else would.
Understand, Like, no one, I'm so relieved because I'm so relieved because you have someone that can match your energy.
I feel like when people like, what's the secret to yours and Nick's long life relationship, I'm like, and it's an out and an outlet and a safe space. So yeah, that's a question that wasn't on the list because obviously before this announcement, people wouldn't have the context for this question.
And separate to anything about sexuality, I feel like, in terms of the societal need to categorize and put people in like boxes and have certainty and all that kind of stuff in the age bracket we're in and there's like weddings and babies and like so much timeline pressure. And even off the back of our last episode about work career pressure and stuff, have you found Like I know that you had a little bit of trouble at the start with like the what are we like where
are we going the future? Versus the have you felt pressure like as soon as you're in a relationship to like settle down or like know what you are or put labels like are we governor and government or are we like just seeing each other? Like do we love each other? Like it's been so long since I went from dating someone to like making it official to like, you know, like how have you navigated that?
Yeah, I think the start of the whole like what are we I actually like I probably didn't think about a huge amount into weeds actually start discussing a little bit more like her and I. It wasn't really on the forefront because I kind of was like we are what we are and it's kind of really nice at the minute. And then like the same thing with the whole label thing, I'm like, it doesn't I don't think
it really changes much. And then I was like, actually, no, maybe it doesn't change anything, but it's just like a symbolic thing for us to be like, yeah, we really like each other and we'll be you know, this will be a nice thing to do or whatever it is.
But navigating that at the start wasn't too hard because I think you do everything quite intuitively because you're both in this kind of like honey Mooney type like really new novel really whiches out of Simham a giant literally like almost swallowed her teeth because I was trying to keep it quiet.
Say it like that, but if my brain came out, that's not going to be our new Google hit.
That is not gonna be it. She created a really safe space for me to like navigate the whole thing, and so I never really felt pressure. I think a periods you get like scared as you would normally because you're like, oh, actually I feel things and I'm feeling feels that, and then you start you realize you care a lot for this person, and then that's becomes a bit scary in terms of committing. But that the fear more comes from what everyone always thinks about, which is
like what if it doesn't work out? Yeah, and then what if it doesn't work out?
And then I've gone all in and and like you want to protect a bit of here, but then you're like if I don't go We had the all in conversation, well.
Like I kind of I kind of reserved myself from like I feel real all in thing and for a while, not like consciously, but I was like, I'm just going with the flow. And it was really nice to just go with the flow. And we still are very much going with the flow, which is why I think it's really healthy. And the all in was more coming from me stopping worrying about the future as opposed to like, here is all of my in every single introvan and I'm gonna shower you with it like I'm gonna love bombing.
It was more all in to be like stop worrying about what's gonna happen and just be like here right now and be like all for that, as opposed to like self sabotaging, which we spoke about a lot about which I definitely at the start was kind of thinking about and doing more so as a protective thing is being.
Like, well, you're double guessing yourself everything.
I was like things I normally really wouldn't care about because I'm just like me or whatever. I was like what if this? And what of that? And more so because you just start to care a little bit more
and it actually means something. When it means something, you're like care because like, you know, my last relationship was really nice and it was really lovely, but I think it took me a while to like care to the extent that I do in this one, and so like more navigating those kinds of overwhelming really strong feelings and then the higher the reward, the higher the risk or whatever the risk high the reward type of thing as well, And that was like kind of like a it wasn't
a blip balls, but it was definitely a discussion that I had to have with someone, like like with you and my birtht girlfriends, to be like, like, I need perspective because otherwise I'm too in this to really like take myself out and see everything that it.
Is and thin it was with we're really both.
Communicative, like we're really transparent and really good with telling each other where we are, which is why I think
it's so healthy and so great. And that's something that she's taught me and she's really really amazing at creating a space where you can like talk about things without feeling judged, and we both are really good at like I've become more confident in doing that and so yeah, I guess it was like hard but not at the same time, and now we're just like in a really really great space or place for both of us.
I think what was really interesting as a friend and mother.
And grandmother and grandmother.
And bnoy was to watch how in relation to your career or anything that's not relationship related, you never do that. You never double guess yourself, You never overthink the future, you never fear. Is never a kind of barrier that changes your behavior. And hadn't seen you do that in a while, And I was like, whoa dude, you don't do this in relation to anything else but in relationships,
and this is just anyone listening. Because you're even more vulnerable you, I think sometimes like go into your shell even more and then overthink because it's like, oh it's going to be if it's too good to be true, Like I don't know, you just overthink it a lot, and sometimes you need to talk yourself down the same way that you would about trying something in your career or going for a big dream. It's the same thing, and yet your behaviors were really different.
Yeah. One of the things Seriou said to me was like, if someone came to you for business and advice, you just say you won't know until you try.
Yeah, follow your heart, just like let it be.
I was like, it's true.
Let self doubt be the reason it doesn't work.
Self doubt kills more dreams than failure. Ever, will just sees your Yeah.
Okay, So now that we have opened this beautiful work whole, and there were also quite a few questions for Nick and I as well, which kind of touch on the whole getting in your head about relationships, how you get over the hurd or blah blah blah, so many things. I feel like for Valentine's Day, which will be like after our break, not too many episodes in, we should do another relationships Q and A episode because if I get started on the Nick and I question, will you.
Have to answer one of them? No? No, no, no one, just one quick.
Fire okay, because we have still family slash Asian category vimb cycling and mindset slash life and travel.
Okay, Well, why don't you answer this really briefly and then in the Valentine's when you can expand on it.
Okay, and for everyone else who has new follow up questions for and we will do relationships by question follow up episode.
This is news to me too, guys and me and me and no, mainly it's like I have to listen to anyone everyone in this room ask about his.
Relationships are like, Okay, bye.
For Sarah, how did you know your relationship was right even though you so much time doing your own separate things.
Oh, that's a really interesting question, And I think that it's kind of the answer is in the question. I knew it was right because we can spend so much time doing our own separate things, and I never felt like restrained from doing that even in any relationship, including friendships.
In my whole life, I've always been that person who loves travel, who loves to take up opportunities that involve being away and even exchanges, Like within the first three weeks of being together, I went away for six weeks on my first exchange. Then I came home for five months, and I went away for nearly a year. So from the beginning, I was like this is my passion traveling,
learning languages, starting overseas. I wanted to work overseas, which I ended up doing, and he's interested were the same, and we fell into this ability to be. Like you've seen us, we are together. When we're together, we're together twenty four to seven. We work together, and most couples can't do that very well. Like we don't really need space from each other. We can be in the same room and not talk, or we can be in the same room and stimulating each other twenty four seven. We
don't get sick of it. But then we also can be I can be in Antarctica doing my own thing, refinding my identity who I am, completely separately without literal signal to be able to call him for two weeks, and we're still really strong and fine. And I think the reason why we're like in our fourteenth year is because we can be like so in each other's pockets, but also allow each other the space to be like if you need to go away, like I've lived in Hong Kong for a year for my career because it
was the best thing I could do. But for his career, he couldn't be in Hong Kong. So we just were like, well, how could we not allow each other that space to live apart for a year but still make it work? And I think that's why. I think if any of us had felt like we had to compromise on those things and we couldn't have each other's support, and it's swung in roundabouts. There's been times where he needed to be in the US for like most of a year.
I think because in the pie chart, like freedom to travel and work and not necessarily need to both go all the time is a big priority. It kind of works. Whereas, of course there are other couples who only one person has that as a priority, it would be really hard to find the middle ground. But I think I knew that he was the one because we've always been.
Able to do that.
Yeah, and because when we came back then we could do the opposite as well. It wasn't like we're it's such a spectrum of low touch independence that then when we're together we're like, h yeah, we're like hey, I love you. Yeah, Okay. So there were lots of other follow up questions. Someone a few people actually have asked for a Nick return. It's been a while, so Valentine's Day three way episodes.
I'll be the couple's therapist.
Okay, guys, came, it's going to be a lock in. We're going to need twelve hours. It's going to be Joe Rogan. We're going to call Joe Rogan. Okay, bim family slash Asian hilarious, that that's what you call this. But also we've touched on this before in relation to academics. I think and like the cultural difference between us is that you had Asian parents and I didn't. Yes, So
it's interesting to have this perspective. And I think, particularly now in relationship relationships, this hasn't even more depth than it would have when the person actually asked the question. So the first one was your family seemed so close knit, but did you ever feel dart Asian pressure? Though? Hilarious,
dut dut. And also how do you deal with the pressure to get married and have a family, et cetera, particularly now that you're in a same sex relationship, how did you how do you navigate telling them I.
Haven't told them, I.
Have not, I have not and they do not listen to.
That's fine, risk, but I don't also like things like fresh relationships. I don't tend to tell my parents like immediately anyway, like that takes time.
To be a siblings though they all know, yeah they are not including me cool, Yeah it's true, but.
They make parents, I mean Asian pressure. Yes, felt particularly in when I was a teenager, when I was in high school, But I was very thankful to older sisters growing up, and they kind of paved the way to kind of us be doing our own things explore the
world in a very I guess Western way. So we kind of, like I guess in Asian Tiger parenting books, we were like a little bit rebellious that we didn't really listen to my parents if they were like academic academic academic like sports, sports, port, music, and so yeah, we kind of like liberated ourselves a little bit by biting the bullet and doing these things, and despite it being uncomfortable to have to do, because they were necessarily approving of it, we knew it was like we weren't
being reckless. We were actually just like growing ourselves, and we knew that because we were doing that, they'd come around to it. And they did come around to it, Like we'd go overseas and they'd be like no, no, no, no no, and then we'd do it. They'll be like our daughters traveled with the world.
By herself and it was our idea.
Yeah, So like pressure definitely, but now not so much. The only pressure I feel is something maybe I feel myself that they necessarily they don't actually impose, and I don't think they do. Is the need of a status type job. And I think the reason why I've been to so slow to tell them I sign from physio to dell to casual is because I feel like they'd be sad that I'm not in this, you know, status
related job anymore, which it's not even the cases. Kathin works in startups and stuff and they love that of her. So I think it's a self imposed, like ingrained thing from when I was younger, because it's not a status or like an academic or whatever.
A prestigious, typical kind of eye.
So I do feel it. But I think we were really great at holding ourselves to stay pretty true to us and have to just sit in the discomfort for a little bit to then be able to live pretty freely now.
And what about the other family trajectory as well, because there are one two, three sisters, one brother, no grandchildren yet. But are they like putting the pressure.
No, not as good pressure. Mom and dad love kids, and yes, I think like traditionally they would love to have grandchildren, love to keep the family name going and things like that. I think they've been become a bit more open. Like Kathin's also in the same sex relationship, and she's a lot older than I am, so I'm really grateful for her kind of paving the way.
It's not that much older men the same eight years am I nine years. Okay, So this relationship started as Catherine and I being in the same level, being like as you guys know from earlier episodes, and then I just was like, oh, my maturity is like minus eight years, so I might as well moved to.
The younger sister. Oh god. So yeah, there's always there's not pressure, but you can definitely like in the back of your mind you're like, yeah, they want one. And then being Asian, I think this is a very different topic that we'll probably speak on another time, but like you know, being Asian, there's really cultural and religious differences in terms of like same sex relationships and things like that,
which is a whole nother thing. And yeah, they progressed a lot in the years, so it's been nice to see, but there's always like kind of underlying tones and things like that.
So what about the moving out thing? So this was a specific question from a fellow Asian. Also, this is a mass generalization. Obviously not all families have Tiger parents. Obviously not every single most do the same parents.
It's very likely that you do.
How did your parents feel about you moving out? I'm literally a few straights away from mine, and I'm sure they don't mean it, but they do make me feel bad for not visiting often.
So mom is like that. Mom was like when we all bought how she was like, I'm so happy, but I cry all night. I cry. I cry, And I was like why she goes all my children or my children going And I was like, well, we're gonna have to. And Dad's all like, go bye, see ya, And like secularly, he loves us when we come back home and we have weekly dinners so that as we are always like we visit often, but sometimes like if I don't see a mom for like one of the weekly dinners, Mom's
like you don't even call me or text me. I was like, oh my god, I love her. So she like misses the kids so much, but there was some pressure to like stay. They don't make us feel bad. Dad's very much like yeah, go, like he loves that we've all gone and done like the adult thing, and they also do love that we come home. And they're so proud that you look like me. Now the greatest milestone.
Last family question. Your family is so cool. Who is your favorite cousin and why? And also related in terms of karaoke abilities, which your family does together often, how would you rank you and your siblings from best to not best?
Okay, so I'll ask that one. And that was definitely one of your cousins was No, that was definitely Jen. Which one the karaoke family?
Oh yeah? But also the favorite cousin one was probably Yeah. The cousin was probably Lynn, you know, because she answered all my stories. I was like, Lynn, that was you for sure?
Okay, in that case, my favorite cousin is Lynn. But karaoke is Cavane's first. Actually, gonna take that back. Kavin is the best singer, but therefore she's the worst at karaoke because she sings too well.
She takes it too seriously.
She's too good. She harmonizes, Oh no, baby, you got to be a bit tracked, you be silly. So I'd say Jen for passion, a passionate passion. Sometimes text me about what are you doing and'll be like, my home goes okay, Matt Preston home karaoke. I would say Jen, and then myself. Actually, I think Justine first, Captains, then Jen, then.
My Justine gets amongstne is amazing, and then Nick and Catherine equal last only because Nick Nick is beat here Nick, but Nicholso has passion, but he's K pop.
He'll be like, maybe you're a fire your world.
Like pop stars appearances up up the top, so if it's a pet and carry and choreography and choreography made me learn the BTS. I was like, okay, cool man.
But Captain's only last because she's too good.
Yeah, she takes it too so, but what about roses a lot of solo.
Mom is number one, definitely Dad's number two, and then the siblings in that order that I.
Said, that's because your mom doesn't give anyone else in.
My mom doesn't even know in her eyes when she sings like that's how into it.
She is.
Recorded her all the way up to her nostril, and she was like, if her bride over, her eyes closed, and when you.
Guys aren't even there, she's still doing karaoke. Why yeah, okay, next section. I feel like again we have gone quick fire cycling tips to start cycling on the road. I really want to start cycling places, but I'm terrified of riding on the road. Very common I would say.
Yes, start on roads that have really wide bicycle paths, for example Saint Kilda Road for example, that main one. I said, all the others of shit, anything that has really wide designated cycle pats. It was a really nice one to start in my tippers. Feel like you're a car. You belong on the road, like it's a shed. You're like, you're yeah, pretend you're a car.
Be the car.
You have to be the car, because otherwise, if the car, if you feel like you're a little person in the big wide world, it's very scary. So you got to think you're like big, big hulk. Anyway, Well, then not.
Everyone has your chunky trunks.
Okay, it's true, get chunky trunks too.
Well. That leads to the next question. One of your best tips with improving your cycling fitness.
Get bigger lace, I think, are you gotta do a mix if you want to? I think you just got you know, a bit like running, You've just got to do it consistently more. Find a seat that's comfortable. That's the other thing. I think people finally have bikes that aren't comfortable. That makes cycling a long period of time hard and that you feel like you're unfit. It's actually just the fit of your bike, the seat of your bike are all not right. So I'd actually say invest
in a small bike fit. It could be a really cheap one, really quick one. But a lot of people are riding bikes that are way too bigger, way too small, and then it just caused a lot of discomfort.
Please tell me you've got a funny cleat fail story. My poor ego is bruised after getting stuck in them at traffic lights. Was that Nicholas Davidson who submitted that question?
No, because his was worse. He like slow mode, tried to fall, then he reached out for a pole and then his arms was too extended to like a car. No, no, no, he like try he was almost going to and then he reached out to the Yeah, that's right, and then his arms were too extended to do anything else, and so he had to like jold himself and I was just staying there laughing. No.
Nick's worst cleat story is that on his Wahoo Kicker at home in lockdown station stationary bike with locked in, he went too hard because he was competing against other people online, fell off the bike, broke it chipped. It was this massive crash. Hell, he's like still attached to the bike on the side on the floor. Was the best.
No, worst cleat story. I was on Curfin Road doing beach Roo and I came back and it was a turning lane and I went to go and then I fell off on the side, so everyone behind me missed the turning light. Got up, back up, ready to go again for the next turning light, went to pedal. My didn't realize that my gears had come off, like my chain to come off. Fell again to the second game that day. No, that was fell off again. So these cars had missed two turning lights in Albert Park. Go
for it again, come on again, ready to rock. Literally can't get my clique in in time. And then I'm like doing this slow motion full to the side for the third time I'd banked up like all the traffic I've different. No, it was funny anyway, So yeah, allways happens happened all the time, sudents.
And on that cycling note, we did a bit of a teaser of a bike related story submission because we had something really excited to announce, which didn't eventuate this year by my fault exclusively because we were traveling so much and we didn't organize it. And also Andrew's fault, also exclusively because she didn't leave her job on time more available to help. So that will be a twenty twenty three project that we will still bring to life.
So for those who did submit their stories, and there were some lovely ones, we will have something very excitedly call you but sorry, just I haven't forgotten or just decided against it. We just didn't have time. So bim for the mindset slash life ones, there's quite a few, and I feel like they're big questions. Are you feeling open to doing a you know when you like reply on oh yes, on your story.
We'll do three quick fight and the rest all right, Yeah.
Because I feel like some of them are really big, beautiful questions, like, well, one of them is actually a relationship one, but about your biggest insecurities about ever having down days? Like I feel like we've spoken a little bit about the of course you have down days, but we could also end up speaking about that for a really long time. But one I think is really important for you to answer here because it's fascinating and we don't speak about this enough. How do you work on
your financials? Buying a house at this age is amazing, fully thought that I am. And then how are you able to retire in an adult world that needs payment for adult bills? To clarify, she has not She's still working, just left one job to go into another structure.
How do I manage my financials? I'm actually a really shit financial manager, to be completely honest, sir, And as
I hate it, I hate it so much. I think what helped with buying the house maybe back full transparent here, Like Dad has this thing where he's always wanted to be a part of our buying house story for all of us kids, And so I probably had like fifteen percent or something as a deposit, and Dad really wanted to mass make sure he had a twenty percent deposit, and so he contributed like the extra for that, so I'd be like fully transparent as I feel like people
think that I was like so, and I was like no, like a very privileged to have dad like offer that, and like you did be saved obviously saved the it yeah, yeah, like the majority of it. And so, but I had put it out there because otherwise people have like a like, I don't want to set a preceense that's not necessarily true about myself in terms of working out with the financials.
I think what I've started to do a lot more is have a gauge of how much I will earn for the year just around about just because I have multiple income streams, and then like macro repayments like being like mortgage, and then kind of sussing out what I have in between a few other things that I guess I do is for it's not necessarily a saving thing, but I have multiple incomes. That's one thing. Like multiple
income streams too. I have a shares portfolio, not a huge one, but I still I do have one, and I hold that and that's a very much long term strategy and then three, I've got obviously the house, which is more of a like a growth investment thing. But previously I would, you know, I would work multiple jobs. I actually don't have a very overly expensive life. I didn't I say I didn't, but I don't know about
it now I just spent I don't go clubbing. I don't spend a lot of money, like on a huge amount of like clothes and things because she steals on my It's true, it's true.
And then I also like don't frugal.
But where my money goes.
I don't think I'm like overly frug I just don't know. You're just like clever.
The things I spend on aren't expensive. That's the difference. Yeah, And so but I spend a lot of money on like food and like for other people or whatever it is. And so living at home helped with saving grant. That's one thing. Also shares portfolio, which is strategic in the recession. Multiple jobs, Like I'm set up business wise in way that means that it's a slightly better tax situation. Like I set up as a company under a trust which we set up when I was started paper planes, which
means that distribution is a bit different. It's well, this like being fully transparent, and then in terms of the actual saving side of things, I kind of I guess I'm always conscious of how much I have, but I'm
not actively like put X amount of weight. I was like that when I was saving for the house, but after that I've kind of just like kind of know how much I'm getting how much it's going out as an overview as opposed to like actively saving, because I think for right now, I've been saving for so long that I was like, might just kind of want to chill out a little bit and kind of be a bit freer. But yeah, it does help modil income streams is probably the biggest asset that I have.
But it does mean I'm being organized about those income streams though, Like you don't just you know, some people just like all the money comes in and then they just spend what's in there, like they don't look at kind of yeah, you have a vague idea, well not even vague, you have an idea of your overarching plan. Yeah, you're like outgoings that are then you know how much you can, like before you go and spend on extra stuff.
You tend to know how much you have there to spend, you know, just like yeah, buy shit and they go, oh, there's not enough left, Like yeah, you're very on top of a budget, even if you're not justly setting up like.
I would never do find out pay laters like I don't like, yeah, like that kind of dead. I don't have a credit card.
Well, that's a huge one.
That you don't have a credit card.
That's huge.
That's a purposeful, conscious decision. And I choose cheap flights when I go so, yeah, I guess.
That was a really good that was that transparency I think is like really useful to a lot of people. And then there's some amazing questions in here, like what inspires you to have your right now, I'm just living life attitude? What's your favorite worst mistake? Oh, that's a really good one. Where do you get your energy? There's something about imposter syndrome from a fellow potent SUI sister oh mcrovvill life. Oh so I think ANDRELI answer those
in more detail. And there's quite a few other ones about mindset and life. But another quick fire one before you move to the last section is what's your next big thing or challenge?
That's hard.
Well, just like managed being hot.
Manage my modeling career.
Okay, did your only fans build my portfolio?
No? I think I don't know. I think managing this next year. Now that I'm like very much in this startup life, it's very like I'm really a yes person. So anytime someone, like a client, a new client comes along, or ask someone asks for help, I tend to say yes, and that becomes a new client. So I think managing my year with businesses. But Friendo, I'm looking forward to
like being a bigger part of. Like We've had some really fun and nice discussions about how I could be a bigger part of like the founding team of Friendo, which is all very exciting. So I guess that's the big the next big thing.
Okay, well, CZA like whatever is a very small part of who I am, just a small project project.
But I want to answer this one really quickly. But right now I'm living life. Yep comes from and I've said this million times before, but I still you'll live by it is that we're not guarantee you the future or their future. We guarantee what is right now and what is in the next minute. But otherwise it sounds morbid, but things happen. Life is not guaranteed to anyone, and so why not live it up now because.
I love that.
Yeah, that's all you have.
That's it, okay, travel you exercised and worked during this last like your recent trip. Do you prefer to maintain some normal routine on your travels? And how I feel like that all goes out the window for me too
much to see and do. And we just spoke in the car about how you're about to go away to New Zealand with family and one thing that does happen when you travel is you just get all out of your home routine, which is obviously like it's such a nice problem to have, but yeah, how do you kind of manage that?
Running on my travels was when you can combine the travel aspect with the routine aspect that it becomes easy. So running in my troubles is actually was a way of me seeing things. So like in the morning, I would run around the air that I just didn't know and then almost in my brain bookmark all these cool things that I want to come back to in the day. And when you're traveling because of the way that I travel, it's like the days just like unplanned, unstructured, and you
kind of roam for hours and hours. And I feel like when you travel, the days feel long, like you've just fit so much in the day. Like here, you come home after work and that's kind of the end of the day. You wind down at like six o'clock. There, you have dinner, then you go back out and you go go for another night walk and then you go for another room and you don't really get back into
a nine or ten or later or whatever. So the days are long, and so I fit in the run as a means of like exploration, seeing places like vetting places that I want to see try. And also you feel a bit like.
A local, like you feel like you're seeing a side of the Yeah, like you're doing this, you wouldn't.
You see locals running and so yeah, I intertwine it with the actual travel side of things. But also in my brain, I need to move, Like I know, walking is really great, but like just I it's really important to me to keep moving at a sometimes higher intensity, and so it makes me like more set up for the day. So I try to do that as a minimum if I'm traveling.
But you're pretty good at like allowing yourself to not have your normal routine for the sake of travel, restoring it when you get back.
Yeah, I'm like the freest travel in my last trip there, it isn't the reason why I ran it was because it was a bit of a different trip. It was like I worked while I was away. I was kind of a way to kind of like recharge as opposed to be overly adventurous.
Yeah, what backpack do you use?
I use a mac pack. It's like a hiking bag. It's a forty leader for my smaller trips. And then I've got a Catman do bigger one that's more like a seventy leader for like if I go for like my longer one was like five months, So I took that one and for all my trips now, I use like a hiking it's almost like a hiking backpack.
Will your great aunt from Vietnam ever come visit again? And also do you miss her? And why is my thing typing what I'm saying?
I was like, what are your questions coming along?
I don't know what I've done.
My grandaunt probably won't ever come back to visit again. It was just so hard to get her here, and she just loves Yeah, she loves being in Vietnam, and it was such a long period of time that she was here for that she probably won't come back again. I do miss her and I love her. Mom and Daddy going back in February, and I probably won't only because I think I've got a wedding. But I just feel like I need to settle book in your hair.
But I love it like I the reason part of why I love the work that I get to do now is that I can see her whenever I want, like I don't have to book and leave. So I probably go at the end of next year. The only reason why I didn't go this year I was meant to go in November was because Dad had a big heart surgery that we didn't go.
Last two questions, and these are beautiful questions because I think this is one thing You're very good and inspiring in others and particularly for me. Being on the Intrepid Trips has been something that I've loved watching how do you find the courage to travel on your own? And then tips on once you decide to travel solo on doing that, And I feel like I've seen like a majority of people on the intrepreteurs we're traveling solo in Antarctica.
The youngest person was nineteen and she came on her own because it was often you can't find someone who wants to prioritize the same destination as you, and you do it all the time and have shown me like it's a beautiful thing to do.
It is one of my favorite things to do. Definitely, how do I encourage to travel on your own? I think it's a sense of like sense of fearlessness but trust of the world at the same time, if that makes sense. I think as opposed to like focusing all the bad things that happen or can happen, I'm very like not like it won't happen to me, and I can appreciate it. I know it does happen, But if you kind of focus on that, the world seems like a really scary place and then you kind of it's
a barrier to doing many exciting things. The thing that I always remember or think about is it seems far away, like these destinations are a different country, different continent, but it's the same world. Like they have internet, they have cafes, they have phones, they have trained, they have technology, like it's actually just the same, but many places that people would go have all of that, so you have a safety net of if you want to set yourself up right.
There's many things. You know. You can set up your phone to have your favorites contacted, like your emergency contacts sorted. You can leave your location on if you want to to your closest friends on the iPhones or whatever. You can make sure someone you're telling someone where you go in the next day or the next steps. You can share with your siblings, your itinery, your flight details, all that stuff you can do as contingency when you're traveling alone.
But you also realize, like I as much as I'm pretty reckless, some would say like hitchhike.
And whatever, hostels and the mother of you, that is not okay.
It's like if the world is safer than you think, despite the like things that happen around the world, And then you've got hostels which with like minded people. The minute you're on your own, people tend to come up to you and be like, where are you from, like chat to you, make you feel like, you know, involve you in things. The minute you with someone else, though.
The people don't do that, and you don't do that, and you don't open yourself, so yes, you.
Don't make these beautiful friendships and meet people around the world. And a bit of it is trust, but a bit of it is like self confidence in that you can do that by yourself. And I think sometimes we say like we're a female and buy virtue of that. Unfortunately, there are things that happens to females that wouldn't just
happen to men. But you know, rather than sometimes focusing on that aspect of things, you're like, no, I'm actually a very strong, independent female that it's going to do this. And then yeah, you set yourself up in all the other safety measures that you can in the time if you it's your first time, you can go to like you know, areas that are much more populated, are much more dense with much more hostiles and options and transport and technology and Wi Fi and things like that, and
make your seels feel safer. But I think just like trying it is the only way to know if that's for you. It's not for everyone, but yeah, just choose a place where it feel safe. The other thing you can do is like go solo for a period and then meet up with someone that you know you're going to meet up within seven days or something, and that way everything feels a bit nicer and like it's not as scary.
And I also feel like if you book a group tour, like a small group tour, like with Intrepid or someone like that sound like this is an ad it's not. I genuinely have seen so many solo travelers on these trips who like, there's traveling solo outside of the structure
of a tour, and that's like very adventurous. But if you're not quite ready for that and you want to be in a small group but solo in terms of without your friends or without like traveling physically getting to that place with someone else, it then gives you the safety of knowing someone's going to meet you. At the other end, you're going to be traveling in a group when you go to the sites, like particularly countries that
are a bit more adventurous. I've found it gives people a little bit of a safety in net, like I'll be with people, I'll meet other solo travelers. Yeah, Like there are ways to set yourself up so that you're not completely a lot, like you just rock up to this country with no structure and no people to meet
you and no one who knows so you are. Yeah, the guided tours in groups is an amazing way to meet new people, and you do you force yourself, Like to be fair, in Antarcticrib went with a group of people, but I was solo in terms of like Nick wasn't with me, I didn't go with a friend. I was there for work and I wasn't with them. Most of the time. I just sat and spoke to people. I would never make conversations exactly, And it's the best.
It's actually the best. It's very soul filling. So I'd say anyone that thrives or needs a sense of adventures, sense of freedom, that wants to like explore, make new friends, like live on the edge a little bit, traveling solo is a really fun. If anyone feels like they need a lot more structure, a lot more routine, a lot more planning, still can definitely do it.
Just set yourself up in a way there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I would just recommend it for everyone to try once anur And it's.
So liberating because you can so whatever you want you literally don't have to work your schedule around anybody else.
The way I travel, I book the flights and then I booked two nights of accommodation in my first destination, and that is all. Like with Turkey, I booked a flight to Istanbul, and then I booked a flight home from Dublin Island, and I booked only two nights in Istanbul, and then when I arrived is when I decided what the vibes were like, and then I continued from then, I was like, tomorrow I'm going to Bulgaria. And that's how it works.
You're probably like on the more adventurous spect solo travel, but yeah, I feel like the times I've done it, even just like taking yourself off to a restaurant and people, you do have to get over the weird, Like it does feel weird for a second. It does feel like if you've never done it before. A lot of people haven't even gone out to dinner by themselves in their
troun city. But there's something about doing it for the first time and just getting over that it feels a bit weird and you don't have someone to talk to, but then you just realize, like who cares that genuinely, you don't want to miss out on a destination just because no one else you know wants to go there, Like, there are ways to do it, and that's the beauty of it. It makes you be a little bit uncomfortable and then it makes you like expand the studio personality you never get to do that with.
Yeah, it's the best.
Well, there are so many things we could talk about. There are many other topics, many other questions, and also there are many end of year slash start of a new year reflections because you and I are both very symbolic about this out of any year. But I feel like that can be for our first episode next year. And so if anyone does have any questions that are like new Year's resolution and in our writing journals, et cetera related.
I feel like the rest of the Yu'll Forever and Ever now is going to be like so ask your questions and we shall respond.
Literally is the funnest way to structure of these episodes, particularly since we can do them more often now. I literally ask Kane, can we have a regular slot? Now that A is like full time, which is really exciting. So I hope you guys enjoyed these, this double Q and a everything else we've done this year. I promise, as I keep promising, my promise is are worth nothing.
Now next year will be a lot more structured, We'll have a lot more and and I hope you guys have an amazing holidays, a little bit of a break, a beautiful end of year and start of a new year, and we'll be back in two weeks. I think, happy, happy, happy.
Having you.
I was trying to make it like yeah, but nothing right.
Now, just have in new year, guys. Not everything has to be branded.
But it does happen. Yeah happy, Nah, it doesn't work.
Thank you guys, We love you. Bye bye