Securing Sexuality - podcast cover

Securing Sexuality

Securing Sexualitywww.securingsexuality.com
Do you know how to protect your pursuit of pleasure? Technology upended how we connect romantically and sexually. But broken apps, hacked toys, confusing privacy settings, and breaches are anything but sexy. This podcast is here to help with tips for safer sex in a digital age. Offering insights into intriguing and often taboo subjects are our hosts, Stefani Goerlich and Wolfgang Goerlich. They’re joined by experts on cybersecurity, cybersexuality, sextech, mental health, and more. Listen in.
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Episodes

96. Building Community in the Age of Censorship

It's hard to build connections, much less businesses, when you can't communicate freely online. For small business owners, online platforms are crucial to promoting their brand to potential customers and collaborators. But for sęxual health professionals, this is hindered by social media policies that conflate the professional with the prurient. Thankfully, there are folks like Leah Spasova, founder of the Sëxperts Business Community and advocate for entrepreneurs everywhere. She joins Wolf and ...

Aug 18, 202435 minSeason 3Ep. 96

95. Criminal Minds and Casual Hook-Ups

It's been at least a month since Wolf and Stef have ruined online dating for someone, right? Well, guess who's back, friends! From Stef's love of forensic procedurals to Wolf's fascination with oracle trilateration, we're here to explain and explore a whole new kind of vulnerability in some of the biggest dating apps in the business. Whether you are online to meet someone for the next thirty years or the next thirty minutes, you're going to want to hear this. Show Notes...

Aug 04, 202430 minSeason 3Ep. 95

94. Vanishing Acts: The Psychology of Ghosting

You know that feeling when you meet someone new, and everything seems to click, and you're super excited to hear from them until, one day... you don't? Yeah. You got ghosted. If you've ever been left thinking WTF after a promising paramour pulls a vanishing act, this episode is for you! This week, Stef and Wolf are joined by Peter Jonason, a social/personality psychologist who uses evolutionary theory to (mostly) explain personality, mating strategies, and sęxuality. He's here to explain why gho...

Jul 29, 202431 minSeason 3Ep. 91

93. Improvise, Adapt, Over...Come?

What do the Gremlins, Feminist Theory, and Stefani's 3rd grade Odyssey of the Mind team have in common? They all got us thinking about adaptive technologies and how we can promote pleasure and intimacy across the lifespan. In this week's free-ranging conversation, Stef and Wolf talk about aging, living and loving with disabilities, and Stef's favorite buzzy (and not so buzzy) toys for all bodies. Show Notes...

Jul 21, 202437 minSeason 3Ep. 93

92. Call Me By Their Name: Identity Theft Today

This week Wolf and Stef are joined by the amazing Mona Terry, Chief Victims Officer for the Identity Theft Resource Center. In an age where it seems like our data is stolen by someone new every day, she's here to help us understand the scope of the problem, the systems that can protect us, and what to do if (when) it happens to you. Show Notes

Jul 14, 202435 minSeason 3Ep. 92

91. Called Out & Cancelled

Wolf and Stef just got back from New Orleans - a city known for daring and debauchery. So it's probably not a huge surprise that the #1 question they were asked by the folks they met in NOLA was, "What can I do to keep from getting called out when I say or do something that rubs others the wrong way?" Doxxing is a very real concern these days, and self-righteousness has been weaponized on both sides of the culture war. Wolf and Stef wax philosophical about this and discuss what, if anything, som...

Jul 07, 202438 minSeason 3Ep. 86

90. Swingin' (Not So) Singles

Friend of the show and brand new author Stephanie Sigler is joining Wolf and Stefani this week and she is opening up... about all things ENM! A multiple-award winning sėxuality coach, she's here to share her tips on everything from how to navigate a group chat when you're chatting about "group activities" and what NOT to do on lifestyle apps to the best way to update- and if you choose, disseminate- your personal health info quickly and privately. Listen in this week as Wolf learns what to do wh...

Jun 23, 202447 minSeason 3Ep. 90

89. Putting the i in Infidelity

A man in Britain is suing Apple for the dissolution of his marriage. Could his wife have been upset about his years of infidelity? No way- clearly, his iOS is to blame. This week, Stef and Wolf sit down to ask why this case is happening, what designers could do differently to prevent these situations, how to best keep your everyday messages private, and also just a general "WTF, Richard?" Show Notes...

Jun 17, 202431 minSeason 3Ep. 89

88. Shelter Me: Securing The Ones Who Safeguard Others

Stefani spent many years working in shelters for people at risk: homeless shelters, domestic violence shelters, and shelters for young people who didn't feel safe at home. There's one thing they all lacked: pretty much any kind of cybersecurity. Yeah! The people who are protecting the most vulnerable among us are often operating from a pretty vulnerable place themselves. This week, Stef and Wolf are joined by Dr. Kelley Masata, the founder and CEO of Sightline Security, a nonprofit which works w...

Jun 10, 202441 minSeason 3Ep. 88

87. Gold Medal Gossip

It's summer in an even-numbered year and you know what that means! No, not easier math for numerologists... the Olympics are back! And while neither Goerlich is known for their athletic acumen, Stefani is here to answer all of Wolf's questions about the latest gossip coming out of Paris. From cardboard beds to a cornucopia of condoms... we've got all your pre-Games gossip (and perhaps a little sęx-and-tech context!) for you this week on Securing Sexuality. Show Notes...

Jun 02, 202429 minSeason 3Ep. 84

86. The En-Creep-ification of Data

The amount of peer-to-peer surveillance these days has gotten downright creepy. Behavior we'd never tolerate from our neighbors (staring in our windows, jotting down our dog-walking schedule) have become ubiquitous through the use of things like Ring cameras and other "internet of things" home products. Wolf and Stefani talked about app-based surveillance in episode 77- The New Peeping Toms, and this week they're joined by Albert Fox Cahn of the Surveillance Technology Oversight Project, whose h...

May 19, 202443 minSeason 3Ep. 86

85. Talking S-E-X at RSA

RSA is one of the biggest Information Security conferences in the country, drawing 50,000 people to San Francisco from around the world to learn from some of the leading voices in technology... and for some reason? They gave Stefani a microphone. This week's episode, recorded live at RSA, features her thoughts on how the internet is rewiring our erotic identities, the role that hackers and technologists can play in protecting intimate relationships, and why the Elf on the Shelf is an existential...

May 12, 202448 minSeason 3Ep. 85

84. The Rise of Digital S3x Work

Friend of the show and all-around badass, Kurt Fowler is back with us to discuss his new book The Rise of Digital S3x Work out now from NYU Press. The internet has revolutionized s3x work perhaps more than any other profession and Kurt is here to tell Wolf & Stefani all about how innovative workers are using the internet to attract clients, shape personas, share information, screen potential clients, and build community. Show Notes...

May 06, 202455 minSeason 3Ep. 84

83. Wolf & Stef Go To PenguiCon

Stef & Wolf were invited to be Guests of Honor at PenguiCon 2024 and they are here to report on 48 hours of pure awesomeness. Lots of talks (they gave four separate presentations) and LOTS of great questions later... they're here to tell you all about it. Have you ever wondered what you get when you combine Open Source, Sci Fi, and S3x Toys? You'll find out this week on Securing Sexuality! Show Notes...

Apr 30, 202438 minSeason 3Ep. 83

82. Stopping Data P0rn

Hey there, Mr(s) Incognito Mode! You're doing all the right things when you browse online. No one knows what you're searching for and you know better than to actually make an account on the sexywebz, right? Yeah... we've got some bad news for you. This week Stef and Wolf are joined by Alessandro Polidoro, technology attorney and digital rights activist who's here to tell us all the sneaky ways that websites (yes, those websites) are tracking your searches and how this information can be weaponiz...

Apr 21, 202446 minSeason 3Ep. 79

81. Zoom Dating

Stefani is out sick, but don’t worry- it’s not Covid! Speaking of the pandemic? Since 2020, the rise of Zoom dates has become a fascinating phenomenon. These virtual meet-cutes not only offer a practical solution for distance or health concerns but also introduce a whole new dynamic to the dating scene. Weaving in tips on avoiding romance scams with tips for fun-yet-secure Zoom dates, Wolf does his best to carry on alone. Show Notes...

Apr 14, 202421 minSeason 3Ep. 81

80. Deepfakes and the End of Reality

This is the 80th episode of Securing Sexuality. Each week, Stef and Wolf sit down at their desks to chat about the world of intimacy and technology... or do they? How can you tell if the voices you're hearing right now belong to the people you think they do? Can you be sure that the faces you see on your screen are real? Do the Goerlichs exist at ALL?! Lucky for you, Information Security and Risk Management expert Joshua Marpet is with us this week to give you the answer... and that answer is "d...

Apr 07, 20241 hr 2 minSeason 3Ep. 80

79. The All-Seeing AI?

One of the top questions listeners ask the Securing Sexuality Home Team is how to minimize the amount of data they feed to "the machine." Unfortunately, we don't have a good answer for you, especially now that AI seems to be developing...gaydar? Tune in this week as Wolf and Stef discuss the subtle, even subliminal data points that Large Language Models are using to figure out your most personal information- whether you intend to share this info or not. Show Notes...

Mar 31, 202438 minSeason 3Ep. 79

78. Gender, Gamification, and GDPR

Keigh-Lee Paroz is a U.K. based data privacy expert who is deeply passionate about human rights, accessibility, gender equality, and the ways in which technology can influence all three. This week, she's joining Wolf and Stef to explain Europe's General Data Protection Regulation and how better security practices can build a better world. Show Notes

Mar 24, 202436 minSeason 3Ep. 78

77. The New Peeping Toms

We're all familiar with the way that big businesses collect, analyze and sell our personal data. No one LIKES it, but most of us have resigned ourselves to the fact that the stuff we share on social media is going to be, well, shared. But what happens when the entity tracking your location, sharing your personal data (address, religion, political views) is not a website you've chosen to use but the stranger in line behind you at the pharmacy? How do we respond when our neighbors are the ones mon...

Mar 17, 202437 minSeason 3Ep. 77

76. The Pleasure Engineer: A Conversation with Raven Faber

What do you get when you cross a Structural Engineer with a pleasure products home party? If you're super lucky, you get Raven Faber- the brilliant mind behind EngErotics! This week she's joining Stef and Wolf to discuss materials science, multilevel marketing, and why everyone needs to pay close attention to what their favorite toys are made of. Before you purchase your next buzzy buddy (whether it's internet connected or not!) you're going to want to listen to our chat with Raven. See the Show...

Mar 10, 202454 minSeason 3Ep. 76

75. WTF is FinDomme?

Have you ever wanted to lounge at home while devoted minions pay your bills and send you presents? Living that fantasy might seem relaxing, but in reality? It's a whole lot of work. This week, Stefani is telling Wolf all about the world of FinDomme (or Financial Domination) a majority-female online form of power exchange. Join us as we learn about how this niche er0tic interest exploded on social media, what the appeal is for those loyal followers opening up their wallets, and best practices for...

Mar 03, 202440 minSeason 3Ep. 72

74. This Little Piggy Went Bankrupt

This week, we're learning all about pig butchering! No, Stefani is not forsaking her Jewish roots to go "whole hog," but she is going to learn all about this insidious and devastating form of romance scam. Join Stef and Wolf as they chat with Sean Gallagher, Principal Threat Researcher for Sophos X-Ops. Prior to joining Sophos, he was an information security and technology journalist for over 30 years, including 10 as information security and national security editor for Ars Technica and he's he...

Feb 25, 202456 minSeason 3Ep. 74

73. Air B & Busted!

Ah, the old No-Tell Motel, where Film Noir gumshoes conduct parking lot stakeouts, illicit lovers find forbidden romance, and every 3rd episode of COPS- Tallahassee is filmed. Sadly, the glory days of by-the-hour shenanigans have largely been replaced by the app-based vacation rental. In every city in the world, folks can check into a private spot far from the prying eyes of hotel desk clerks... right? Just how private ARE these peer-to-peer rental properties? Who's welcome to stay and what (or ...

Feb 19, 202438 minSeason 3Ep. 73

72. Cyborgification and Robotic Relationships: A Conversation with Dr. Jo Ann Oravec

This week, Stefani ventures into dark places she's never been before. That's right! This week, we're gonna get Psychodynamic. Stef and Wolf are joined by robotics researcher and all around badass Dr. Jo Ann Oravec to have a conversation about ego-centrism, artificial intelligence, and the hope that someday we might marry our robots....or become one ourselves. From Freud to Feminism to the perils of aging, Dr. Oravec is here to try and convince us all to get comfortable with the idea of human-rob...

Feb 11, 202456 minSeason 3Ep. 72

71. Taylor Swift and the Stepford Internet

From the Republican Party to the local sports bar, everyone in America is talking about Taylor Swift this week. But why are they so obsessed with her and WTF does it have to do with Securing Sexuality? This conversation starts out with Stefani's desire to finally convince Wolf that football is fun... but it quickly becomes an exploration of misinformation, deepfakes, artificial intelligence, and how one precocious middle schooler might be our best hope to save America. See the Show Notes here....

Feb 04, 202441 minSeason 3Ep. 71

70. Making the Scary Stuff Fun

This week Stef and Wolf are joined by the cybersecurity's Ring Master, Ean Meyer! He's here to tell us all about manatees, muppets, and how to make scary topics accessible- a challenge many clinicians and educators also wrestle with. How can we get folks to learn skills to keep themselves safe? Why is making them even more afraid not an ideal strategy to reinforce learning? And how can we harness the power of FUN to keep people safe on the interwebz? Ean's got us covered! See the show notes here...

Jan 28, 202455 minSeason 3Ep. 70

69. I've Got A Bingo!

From fashion trends to SCOTUS rulings, this episode has a something for everyone. Join us as we try to get a cover-all on the 2024 Predictions Bingo card put out by one of Stefani's favorite brands. There's no sponsored content here- just rollicking conversation about abortion pills, TradWives, and the RenFaire. Laugh along with us- but be sure to shout BINGO to claim your winner's status in the year ahead. Show Notes for this episode....

Jan 21, 202441 minSeason 3Ep. 69

68. The Science of Femme Tech with Dr. Ashley Winter

One of the biggest complaints that Stefani hears in her practice is that there are so many treatment options for men who struggle with arousal disorders and relatively few available for women. It can be disheartening for many clients to feel like the medical community isn't taking their needs (or their bodies) seriously... and if there's one thing that Wolf and Stef want you to take away from this podcast? It's that you need to change your password. ...But their second message is that everyone d...

Jan 07, 202443 minSeason 3Ep. 68

67. His & Hers, Part Two: Revisiting Stefani's Favorite Episode of 2023

This has been a busy year for the Securing Sexuality Home Team! Wolf and Stef talked to some incredible experts and recorded dozens of podcast episodes, Comms Director Frank and the crew helped us host our first ever live conference, and we even visited a cyber brothel! But which episodes were our favorite of 2023? In a year full of so much, what sticks out in our minds as the most impactful moments? Last week we learned who Wolf's favorite conversation was with. Tune in this week to discover wh...

Dec 31, 202346 minSeason 2Ep. 67
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