Securely Attached - podcast cover

Securely Attached

Dr. Sarah Brendrsarahbren.com
Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child's adolescence and every stage in between. Join us every Tuesday as clinical psychologist and mom of two Dr. Sarah Bren shares her expertise and interviews top experts in the field, simplifying complicated concepts and pulling back the curtain on the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship. And now, every Thursday, Dr. Sarah Bren is joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and Dr. Rebecca Hershberg for a special segment, Beyond The Sessions. We’re answering YOUR parenting questions from the perspective of clinical psychologists highly trained in developmental science and real-life moms who get that parenting is messy, and sometimes we have to laugh, cry, and throw out the “rules.” From toddler tantrums, to effective discipline strategies, to leaning into the principles of respectful parenting, and to managing your own mental wellness as a parent—this podcast is your ultimate resource for judgment-free, research-backed information you know you can trust. About Sarah Bren, PhD Dr. Sarah Bren is a licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two who helps parents understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are healthy, resilient, and kind.
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Episodes

141. Q&A: How can I support my teen who is having trouble adjusting to college?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 3:07 - Addressing your own anxiety and the "what if's" first, so you can separate your emotions from your child's experiences and feelings. 6:59 - Shifting this parent's thoughts from "I am responsible for fixing this" to "I am responsible for paying attention." 8:44 - Utilizing school resources and familiarizing yourself (and your child) with the mental health...

Oct 12, 202325 min

140. How understanding our child's sensory sensitivities can help us strengthen their emotional intelligence with Alyssa Blask Campbell

Helping our children learn to understand, process, and make sense of their emotions can be pivotal for fostering their mental well-being all the way into adulthood. Join me for an enlightening conversation that promises to empower you as a parent or caregiver is the author of the new book TINY HUMANS, BIG EMOTIONS, Alyssa Blask Campbell. Discover practical strategies to support your child's emotional regulation, build resilience, and foster empathy, and explore the ways sensory sensitivities can...

Oct 10, 202355 min

139. Q&A: Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 4:12 - The quick 101 on attachment theory - it's most simple definition. 7:29 - Understanding the difference between making bad choices and having unhealthy romantic relationships versus having an attachment disorder. 10:12 - If a person does have an avoidant insecure attachment style, what can they do not to pass down this attachment style? 11:39 - The importa...

Oct 05, 202323 min

138. The most crucial 20 minutes: How bedtime stories can deepen relationships and help kids let go of their day with Andrew Newman

Using the end of the night to help a child unwind, make sense of the day, and prepare for what’s to come tomorrow can be a valuable tool for shifting their brain and body into a state of rest. Joining me to talk about how parents can use the last 20 minutes of the day to promote social and emotional learning is the author of the children’s book series, Conscious Stories, Andrew Newman. Helping our child to feel safe and connected to us just before it’s time for them to drift off into sleep can h...

Oct 03, 202359 min

137. Q&A: What are appropriate consequences when my child doesn’t listen?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 1:49 - What should consequences for my child be when there are no natural or logical consequences that are easy to identify? 4:05 - Understanding the developmental difference between your child being able to intellectually comprehend something versus their ability to inhibit an impulse. 7:41 - Helping your child keep their autonomy while teaching them a new rul...

Sep 28, 202326 min

136. When none of the gentle parenting scripts and tips work for your kid with Dr. Cindy Hovington

>> Click here to watch for my FREE masterclass, From Battles to Bonding: Overcoming Power Struggles ! And gain insights and tools that can lead to a more peaceful and enjoyable parenting experience, free of daily power struggles! << Knowing what to do, when, and how is a challenge in parenting! If you're doing the right thing, but at the wrong time, you may be left questioning your methods and feeling like you're failing in parenting. Here to help moms and dads learn how to be most e...

Sep 26, 202359 min

135. Q&A: What can I do when all the "rules" for setting limits don't work for my sensitive kid?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 6:22 - How to allow sensitive children to feel seen and understood, without making them shut down or feel uncomfortable with too much direct attention. 7:17 - Behavioral interventions to use with sensitive kids when they are fully dysregulated and as they start to cool down. 9:05 - Being intentional about using structures and systems preemptively so sensitive c...

Sep 21, 202331 min

134. Change your child’s behavior in just 3 weeks: How to create your own personalized action plan

>>> HEAD HERE TO GRAB THE FREEBIE FOR THIS EPISODE : Your Step-By-Step Guide for How to Change Your Child's Behavior in Just 3 Weeks! Want to learn how to change your child's behavior in just 3 weeks? In this episode, I am breaking down the 10 simple steps I teach to the families in my clinical practice to help them make small shifts to their own behavior that will result in some big changes in their child. Plus, download my interactive workbook for an easy-to-follow, customized game pl...

Sep 19, 202349 min

133. Q&A: Why does my child lose it more with me than anyone else?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 2:18 - You are not alone! Kids holding it together all day with other people and melting down with us is very common (and healthy, even!) 2:57 - How to make transitions smoother to help reduce dysregulation when children get home. 7:26 - Children do behave differently with different caregiver and parents respond differently to different children. This is typica...

Sep 14, 202322 min

132. How to move out of power struggles and into cooperation with Jen Lumanlan

Do you feel like you are constantly ping-ponging between two extremes—throwing around your authority and overpowering your child or feeling like they're running the show? Jen Lumanlan, the creator of Your Parenting Mojo and the author of the new book, Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family—and the World, is helping parents learn how to embark on a journey towards harmonious family life and a better world! Say goodbye to time-outs, countdowns, and...

Sep 12, 20231 hr 4 min

131. Q&A: How do I help my child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 2:24 - How this current generation is working to lessen the stigma of having learning difficulties or a neurodiverse brain by approaching it as a difference rather than a deficit. 4:20 - How parents can be collaborative with their child's school to help them feel comfortable getting support in the classroom. 7:26 - Understanding a child's genetic history can em...

Sep 07, 202329 min

130. How to support our kids' autonomy and independence, minus the power struggles, with Dr. Emily Edlynn

We all want our children to succeed. But, the way they get there can feel counterintuitive to many parents and mainstream parenting approaches. We need to let our kids stumble, let them make mistakes, and allow them to struggle a bit. Here to help parents understand how to support their child's autonomy in a way that promotes family harmony is psychologist and author of Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children , Dr. Emily Edlynn. From allowin...

Sep 05, 202346 min

129. Q&A: How can I support my sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 2:37 - What is a "spicy" kid and how is that a more positive term than "sensitive" or "highly emotional"? 4:05 - What is the difference between continuum and categorical and how does this apply to these highly reactive kids. 4:54 - Helping kids who easily go to feelings of shame while setting limits. 8:32 - Teaching our children the difference between shame and...

Aug 31, 202325 min

128. How mold, Lyme, pesticides, and other toxins may be impacting your child's physical and mental health with integrative pediatrician Dr. Pejman Katiraei

Addressing the root cause of our children's physical and mental health challenges, rather than just treating the symptoms, can allow the human body to function as it should and positively impact energy, mood, and overall feelings of wellness. Joining me to discuss the benefits of taking a holistic and integrative approach to pediatric medicine is Dr. Pejman Katiraei, a board-certified pediatrician and the co-founder of WholisticMinds. We'll explore how physiological and environmental factors lik...

Aug 29, 20231 hr 9 min

127. Q&A: Is there anything I can do while I’m pregnant to make me less vulnerable to postpartum anxiety?

>>> Download my FREE Mental Health Postpartum Checklist that walks you through creating a personalized mental health support system and allows you to feel more confident and relaxed, knowing you have a plan for whatever your unique postpartum experience may be. <<< Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 1:44 - Setting yourself up with a postpartum support system (like a therapist, ...

Aug 24, 202325 min

126. Fostering secure attachments in peer relationships: Helping our children form strong friendship bonds with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore

As children grow, their friendships become increasingly more important to them and are an integral part of their developing sense of self, of relationships, and how they fit into this world. Helping them learn to understand, process, and manage the multitude of emotions that come with early peer relationships can have a major impact on their development and mental health. Here to talk about the way children make, maintain, and nurture friendships is Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore. Eileen is a psycholo...

Aug 22, 20231 hr

125. Q&A: Is it okay to let my child quit an activity?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 5:38 - How to determine what is driving your child's desire to quit an activity. 6:15 - Weighing the pros and cons between letting your child quit (and potentially not learning to persist, make a commitment, and tolerate struggle) versus not letting them quit and forcing them to do something that may no longer be serving them 7:05 - Determining the parameters a...

Aug 17, 202324 min

124. Finding support in pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and parenthood with Doula and activist Chanel Porchia-Albert

The care we provide for mothers, helping them to feel seen and supported, not only changes the way they internalize their self worth, but the trajectory of the perceived value they internalize and pass along to their children. Joining me in this episode is Chanel Porchia-Albert, the founder and Chief Executive Director of Ancient Song Doula Services and activist in the fight for birth equality for all, regardless of race, location, or socio economic status. Together we'll help all expecting or s...

Aug 15, 202341 min

123. Q&A: How can I tell my toddler that I had a miscarriage?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 3:15 - The perceptiveness of toddlers and why kids often know more than we realize. 5:26 - How to explain to a toddler in a simple, honest, and developmentally appropriate way that there is no longer a baby in Mommy’s belly. 7:48 - The specific words and language that is best to use with toddlers (and what we want to try to avoid) when telling them about the lo...

Aug 10, 202326 min

122. Sleep training, bed sharing, contact sleep, and postpartum: The neuroscience of sleep with Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum

Navigating baby sleep advice? Neuroscientist Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum cuts through the noise on sleep training, bed sharing, and contact sleep. This episode uncovers the neuroscience of sleep for infants and toddlers, helping parents make informed decisions without judgment. Understand why night waking is normal, how responsiveness shapes your baby’s brain, and the true impact of sleep interventions on child sleep development. Empower your postpartum parenting with science-backed insights for a mor...

Aug 08, 20231 hr 7 min

121. Q&A: Is there something I can do to strengthen my child's relationship with my ex?

>> Do you need support coparenting your child with your ex? Reach out to Upshur Bren Psychology Group to schedule a free consultation call to learn more about the individualized treatment options. << Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 3:03 - The quality of the attachment in every relationship is different. Kids can have a secure attachment bond to you and a more insecure relationship...

Aug 03, 202318 min

120. Breaking the silence: A comprehensive breakdown of selective mutism with Dr. Carmen Tumialan Lynas

How do you know whether your child has selective mutism or is just shy in certain situations? Joining me today to discuss selective mutism—an anxiety disorder that is characterized by the inability or refusal to speak in certain situations, despite being capable of speech in other settings—is Dr. Carmen Tumialan Lynas. Dr. Tumialan Lynas is a clinical psychologist and anxiety specialist and the founder of Advanced Therapeutic Solutions. Recognizing the symptoms of selective mutism (SM) is crucia...

Aug 01, 202358 min

119. Q&A: How can I keep my child from being spoiled?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 3:30 - The importance of mindfulness and pausing long enough to notice and express when we are grateful. 6:21 - Setting realistic expectations - you can be teaching gratitude and not have grateful kids all the time, and that's okay. 7:50 - The difference between being spoiled or entitled and having desires. 12:26 - How to handle our own triggers when we feel li...

Jul 27, 202336 min

118. How nurturing shapes our child's brain and sets them up for lifelong mental health with Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum

How does the way we treat our children affect the makeup of their brains? And how can we use this knowledge to raise children in a style that optimizes their physical, emotional, and mental health? That is precisely what Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum shares in her new book, The Nurture Revolution. From exploring the neuroscience of nurturing to understanding how early caregiving experiences influence our relationships as adults, Dr. Kirshenbaum offers profound insights that can shape how we think about ...

Jul 25, 202358 min

117. Q&A: Is it okay to let my daughter play with Barbies?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 2:07 - Does playing with Barbies cause children to have an unrealistic body image? 8:01 - Do millennials carry a stigma around Barbies that is not accurate to the way they are being portrayed now? 8:58 - Is it beneficial to ban any toys, or is it better to use these toys as a conversation starter? 10:45 - How can you initiate a conversation with your child that...

Jul 20, 202329 min

116. Transform mealtimes: Expert tips for raising healthy eaters with Amelia Sherry

When it comes to healthy eating habits, it's essential to focus on balance and trust rather than strict rules or restrictions - which for many of us, is the exact opposite of the way we were raised. Amelia Sherry, registered dietitian/nutritionist and the author of Diet-Proof Your Daughter, is joining me today to talk about ways parents can make this mindset shift in order to support and nurture their child’s healthy relationship to food. Throughout today's episode, we'll explore the role parent...

Jul 18, 202354 min

115. Q&A: Can you get stuck in a state of fight-or-flight?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 1:11 - What actually is the proper scientific definition of fight-or-flight? 3:30 - What is the difference between being mad and being in fight-or-flight? 6:13 - The first step: Simple physiological interventions you can take to decrease your stress levels. 12:58 - The power of slowing down. 16:35 - Reflecting on why you are being triggered so you can zoom out ...

Jul 13, 202328 min

114. NICU survival guide: Establishing a secure attachment even when your child is in the hospital with the founders of NICU Nook

Having a baby in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) comes with a wide range of emotions and experiences that can be challenging for new parents to navigate. And many feel like they’re facing this challenge alone. The founders of NICU Nook, Dr. Stephanie Simon and Amanda Neilan, are working to change that! This episode is filled with encouragement and support with expert advice and practical strategies to help you and your baby thrive. You'll learn strategies for navigating the NICU and cult...

Jul 11, 202353 min

113. Q&A: Do you need enrichment classes for baby's healthy brain development?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... 3:38 - What is serve and return and how does it impact our baby's brain development? 6:02 - The human brain is hardwired to have dynamic interpersonal exchanges. 8:19 - It's not about the "stuff" it's about the relationships. 8:27 - Why "safety" is the first step for allowing your child to explore their world, develop cognitively, and shapes the structures of t...

Jul 06, 202325 min

112. Hustle culture is changing the way we parent: Why slowing down is the key to finding balance with Joe Sanok

The constant pressure to do it all (and do it all perfectly, I might add) is just one of the reasons parents are finding themselves so burnt out. We are so go, go, go that we often forget to stop and assess what is working, what isn't working, and how we can be intentional about using the time we do have to raise our children with the values that we find most important. Here to help parents learn to manage and prioritize their time is the author of Thursday is the New Friday, Joe Sanok. If you’r...

Jul 04, 202349 min
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