Episode 1 - After

Hold that to your mouth. I will hold it. It's never not started. Keep rolling. Hi knees little shorts.

Welcome to episode one of Second Hand Smud. Thank you. You're welcome. You're gonna be here every time. You're not my guest. Actually, you're my guest and I'm your guest. We're each other. We're a guest center, we're the host. Paul and Angela The hair is hairy. No, and it's a little hot I got a little sweaty fr I got a little sweaty making the pot roast and that always makes my Looks good. I know. You'd never know it. Not by my personality, my maturity level, my skin. Maybe my skin. Money's.

My net worth. Yeah. I don't know how to start it. Okay, that's okay. Um, we're back with episode one. Secondhand smut. First episode diving in to our first book series and I'm So excited. Yeah, me too. I mean I guess so. You you Yeah well, I mean I already know the title. Normally I'm not gonna know the title, so it'll be more of a surprise, but this time I do know it's after'cause we talked about it.

Right, this one's a little bit different. This week's episode is a little bit different because I've already told you so much a little bit about Also'cause if you have I've retained all the only thing I remember about it is that there are multiple books and that there's the Netflix show. But I don't know like Netflix movies five Yeah. I have a question. Yeah, go ahead. I knew you were gonna ask. What so what is Watt Pad? So I don't know exactly what Wattpad is and that's not good.

I thought you were going to about to tell. I do think it's not a good thing. similar not necessarily to like Tumblr, but I think it's a platform Yeah. could go and just like write little stories. So I think what happened was this author Anna Todd who wrote the after series started this story of Harden and Tessa on Wattpad and people liked it and then it turned Okay. Well I guess I'm just gonna look at it. There's only one direction. Follow your heart. Don't love that. Okay, okay. Okay.

Tessa is a good girl with a sweet, reliable boyfriend back home. She's got direction, ambition, and a mother who's intent on keeping her that way. But as soon as she arrives at WCU, she runs into Harden, her mother's worst night. With his tassel tussled tassled tussled We'll say. We'll keep it in. With his tussled brown hair, tattoos and irresistible British accent, Harden is undeniably attractive, but completely different to what Tessa's But he is also rude, to the point of cruelty.

Tessia should hate Hardin, and she does, until she finds herself alone with him in his dorm. His dark mood grabs her, and when they kiss, something ignites within her, a passion she's never known before. He'll call her beautiful, then insist he isn't the one for her, and disappear without a word. Hot Hot Hot Actually that part was hot. Despite the reckless way he treats her, Tessa is compelled to dig deeper and find the real harden beneath all I guess.

He pushes her away again and again, but every time she she pushes back and she winds up being pulled further in. Will Tessa risk everything for someone she can't trust? I think she will. Something tells me she might. I think she just might. Anatod after fanfic? Wait, so wait, what's it a fanfic of? They say and I've heard that it's Not true, that it is true, that it was supposedly a fanfic of Harry Styles, obviously. Every fan fucking fic is of Harry Styles. Oh yeah.

Or at least it was a little bit more than that. Corny Kindle or something. Or at least they she was like picturing Harry Styles when she made Harden. Is he British? Oh yes. Hey yes. Yes, he's British.

Um yeah, so that was a novel in and of itself. Alright, we'll get into it. Tell me. Okay, so any thoughts, any initial thoughts like I don't honestly I'll say honestly that really didn't Do anything. Do anything. I like Tessa. Sounds like I don't like her. Sounds like I don't like her mom. Sounds like I don't like Harden. This is a Possessive MMC. Male main character. Yep. This would be a somewhat enemies to lovers slash betrayal. Genre. Yeah, what happens?

Okay. Um this is I would categorize this book this series as like Losing your virginity to smut. Like it's YA clearly. Her name's Tessa. Yeah, harding. That's wild. Um they're eighteen years old, they're in college, so I would recommend this book series to eighteen year olds. to my ancestors. Do Serena. Mm-hmm. She'd love it. So yeah, this is like, you know, very, very intro. It's like a watered down Yeah. Yeah, it was... Also like scalable.

Blohman's like Fifty Shades of Grey. Like there's a lot in here, oddly enough, like the whole Seattle thing, which is also in Fifty Shades of Grey. There's a lot of stuff in here where I think she like fell in love with Fifty Shades of Grey and then wrote this book, but it's for young adults. This is We've got fifty shades of gray at home. Yes. Okay. Yes. So I do I have taken the liberty of writing some notes down, um marking pages.

Read a little bit. But as we get into it, basically, yeah, Tessa's gone to college. She's a good girl. So what's the reliable boyfriend? Getting to that. So so sorry. So sorry. God damn horse. We're working out we're working out the kinks. So we've got Tessa. She's the good girl, goody two shoes. Virgin, obviously. Loser. Uhhuh. Yeah. Right. Eighteen years old. Virgin.

And so she's going off to college. How the book starts, she's going off to college with her mom and her boyfriend, Noah. Noah is her high school boyfriend. He's still in high school. He's a senior. would play her. Who would play her? Well, since there is a movie. Oh fuck. It makes it a lot easier. And having watched the movies prior to reading the books, I just pictured the actors, which was not a problem. Okay, well then just describe them.

Noah is got well in the book, he's blonde. Tall blonde picture six foot. He did it's on the soccer team. He's got a nice bod, blonde. Oh skinny, thin, not built. Not too built, but not he's not sticky. He's got he's g a little muscly. Okay. Um Channing Tatum. If you... And she's the man. Yes, that bot. Not enough. I was in a soccer movie with the Soccer maybe chanting to him? Soccer movie that made my fucking dick tingle for the first time. Oh my god. Hello.

When they're like in the dorm together. Yeah. Like dream of the That was smut. That was smutty. But then so far. That is one of the greatest

So she gets to college, right away as they open the door, her mom sees Tessa's new roommate on the bed. This is the Never trust the staff. You can never trust a stat. Doesn't like her already. She's got shit all over the wall. She's got she's hot in the movie, by the way. Okay. Tattoos. And straight in the book, but gay in the movie. Yeah. Tattoos. So already the mom is like Tessa, you're not staying in this Fucking don't like her mom. Carol just buffer. Buckle up.

So mom and boyfriend leave, Noah drops her off, they leave, and Yep. And now it's just Steph and Tessa in the door. Why is where how come what is Noah not going to college? No, he's in high school still. Yeah. I mean embarrassing, right? This bird. Virgin. High school. Ew Anyway, Harden comes in and he's covered in tattoos.

And this is her first intro to Harden and he says something assholy, I can't remember really exactly, you know, it was like a million books ago. Yeah. She meets him, he's a dick, she already doesn't like him, whatever. So what happens is she starts going to parties with her roommate. Well, yeah. Bad influence. Gay people are bad influences on Christian virgins. Wait, Christian? Is it established? It's not a Christian school. But shh. You're gonna tell me Tessa. Oh, she does mention that.

Yeah, she does mention it in the book. Purity Um but not in the movie. I will say that the book and the movie lines are blurred for me. That makes sense. Um you know, like I'cause as I was reading the book I was picturing The movie.'Cause you watch the movie first. Watch all the movies first. Okay. Prior to reading the series. I know. It's alright. So eventually They're not going to be able to do And Truth or Dare breaks out.

'Cause w when I look back and I think about college, I think about all the truth or dare we play. There's truth and errand second blow in this book. This is crazy. I know. Which is what we were doing in high school. Yeah, that's what we did in high school and like The amount of suck and blow we played in high school, do you remember? Yeah and I never wanted to do it'cause it was always You were gay. Yeah. Yeah. Well it was always so just our friend group.

Yeah, and I didn't want to sucker blow any of them. Yeah. Guy or gal. No. Anyway, so a game of truth or dare breaks out. Tessa gets dared to kiss Harden. She doesn't want to, she doesn't. Right, exactly. Biblical name strong. Yep. She goes upstairs, they're at a frat house. Over kissing him she leaves and goes upstairs and makes a scene.

She's getting really drunk. She wants to go home, but she can't. She's too far away from campus. She doesn't want to kiss this guy. She's looking for a place to sit down. Well actually that it I know. That does sound like college. So Cut two, they do Harden does find her that night. She's passed out in some room and some guy is trying to SHUT THE FUCK UP! Uh-huh. And so she she like comes to and she's like, No, get off me and she like runs down the hall and she's like Help me.

He like he's like, Come in my room and she goes in his room. And he likes to do that. Tells the guy to fuck off, whatever. Beat the He doesn't call the author I would be like I'd be like, Oh everyone wake up in the house. There's a fucking Yeah. Yeah. Um anyway, so they do end up kissing that night. They end up kissing in his bedroom. That's their first. Nothing says kiss me. Right. It didn't just, yeah.

her kind of obsession with him starts where she's intrigued I would say obsession, I would say she's intrigued by him. She's feeling an electricity between them that she's never felt before. Uh oh the tingle. She has the tingle. She got the Gooch Tingle for the first time she's ever had.

Everyone knows. Oh. Yep. Yeah. They just kind of start seeing each other on campus. It is what it is, you know. Um Where's Noah? I'm real worried. Yeah, but is he is he texting her all the time? Different. Are they basetiming? Does she know something's up? Does she even care? Fucking Tessa. Yeah. She doesn't care You go to college and you stop caring. 'cause it's all about her growth and her journey. Break up. Hey, you're telling me.

I know. No, but she's still like t noah's like, I'm worried about you, you're partying, you know your roommates bad news like I feel like you kissed a guy named Harden. Uh uh one day Harden comes up to Tessa and is like I want to Take you some. Um And so th he takes her to down a gravel road Wait, okay. Uh uh Washington State. He's taking her to yep, exactly. Picture it. So he's taking her to a little swimming hole. Skinny dipping.

Doc, yep. And he's like, This is my special place. This is where I come I Or do you build the dock? Uh who knows. And so he's like, Just come swimming with me. Let's go swimming and she's like, No, I'm too shy, I don't have anything to And he's like, Well, just wear my shirt. To swimming? Uhhuh. She's modest. She really doesn't like to, you know And so Praise B. They praised B. In his name we pray. Uhhuh. They're swimming and they share

a make out sesh in the water. Legs wrapped around You know, whatever, whatever. And she's still beholden. She's still beholden to Nova. Fuck, that's the pot road. Oh get the pot. Okay, hold on. Is it done? No, but I have to like put the potatoes in and start in it for another like hour. Okay. Okay. Should we pause this? Yeah we clap back in. Okay. Okay, we'll take a pause for the pot roast. Oh, okay, a better one. Alright. And we're back. And we're back.

The pot roast has been pot roasted. Okay, so we're in the swimming hole. We're in the swimming hole. Wrapped her legs around him. Passionately kissed. Just feeling the electricity. And her up brawn underwear. I fucking hate that. I'll tell you what. I hate that detail. Why wouldn't you just wear your bra and underwear? I thought the whole thing was like. That's what Harden's saying. I feel like okay. Well like

I you're gonna put a big old shirt on and jump in the water? That's a ha Oh the air button? Not hot. Patch up, I know. So anyway, they're f they're both feeling this electricity. Obviously. Hard in. Yeah. So we're about to have our first intimate experience. But she hasn't broken up with Noah yet. Now she's set with no... I'm not into this. It's alright. I'm upset. Well it happens.

Uh You see, it's like you're you're leaving to college, you got your high school boyfriend, he's a senior now, and then you say I'm gonna fu- But that was not her plan. Her plan was not Harden. Harden was not in the cards for her. They never are. This was never expected. Pixel. Yeah. No.

So um what happens is he kind of walks out of the water with her around his body, lays her down in the grass. Oh, you meant like right now. I thought you were like, Oh, and the next part is like No no no. Okay. Right now. And this obviously this time can be cut out. That takes me to look for this, right? Obviously. Oh this part's good. Okay, stop teasing me. This bird's good. So they're like still in the water.

And she goes, He takes me by surprise when he grabs my waist and lifts me into the air. I kick my legs and flail my arms, screaming at him to put me down, but he only obliges me by laughing and tossing me into the water. I land a few feet away, and when I come above the water his eyes are bright with glee. You're gonna pay for that, I yell.

It's Dude, I half the time I'm like, we'll skip over some of the dialogue because it's so in I get so much secondhand embarrassment in these books because they're so fucking big. Uh-huh. Okay, he fake yawns in response so I swim at him and he grabs me again.

But this time I wrap my thighs around his waist without really realizing it. A shocked gasp falls from his lips. Sorry, I mutter, and unhook my legs, but he grabs them and folds them back around his waist. That electricity between us can be felt, this time more intensely than before. What are you doing to me, Tess? He says softly. So this is them He's a Thai man.

Huh oh yeah. And the whole thing with Tessa is that she's like a little more voluptuous than other girls. She's not skinny, she's not flat chested, she doesn't have a flat ass, she's got some hips, Okay. She's got curves. She's curvaceous for sure. Funny. Uh-huh. Yep. So now we're getting into Oh god. Also another thing that like I can't handle how many times is said in these books is

Pad. So I pad across the room. Instead of saying I walk across the room. Yes. Every fucking Every time every time. Every time. That's their Australian command. It is. Every time anyone walks anywhere, they pad. I've never heard he padded across Well, and it's in like now that I'm reading more smut novels, every book says pad. Was that just like part of the thesaurus? Dude, I'm learning that there is like a smut romance novel book Thesaurus. There's like a vocabulary

Pat is on there. I thought when you said Pat, I thought it was going to be something. This says my feet pad quietly across the soft grass until I'm only inches from hard end. It's a good thing. That's not regular. I know it's not. I have never really read that in any other books. Anyway, they're on the grass, they're out of the water now, and he's going to give her her first sexual experience. Well she's asking for it. You know what I'm talking about? Look how she's dressed. No, the electricity.

The electricity is asking for it. But I mean, is there a point where he's like Do you want me to take your virginity? That that's not what's happening right now. Oh. Oh it's mouth stuff? Thank you. It's anal. Her first sexual experience is anal. Can you imagine? I can't. I know you can. Imagine it right now.

Oh, he's saying things like, you know, she's being shy. He's trying to take his shirt off of her, and she's like, No, and he's like, You don't ever have to cover up for me, saying all this type of shit. Wait, like a But she's embarrassed of her body. And so he's like don't you don't ever have to cut. Don't offer it. No. Todd. But you think there might be some projection involved? You could peel some layers back. And there might be

Of course. Yeah. So he this is the very first tinge of like not possessiveness, but just like not controlling, but just like I'm telling you what to do type thing. Yeah, you're right. Although Um don't ever cover up not for me, he said. It's just I begin to explain, but he cuts me off. No, you will not cover up for me. You have nothing to be ashamed of, Tess. She goes You've been with so many girls none like you. And I know I could take his answer many different ways, but I choose to let it go.

Do you have a condom? And he goes, A condom? I'm not gonna have sex with you. He says um he says this and I begin to panic. Is this all a game to humiliate me? Is he just like I'm gonna He's like And so then he well then he just goes like You're a virgin, I'm not gonna fucking fuck you right now Thank you, Hard and Dick. Exat thank you. I know. It's not all bad. Okay. And then he goes, I can't believe no one has fucked you before. Yeah. Man, can't believe no one's ever fucked you before.

Isn't that so romantic? Well what a nice thing to say. Yeah. So he basically just kind of like, you know Rubs up on her. They have a grind set. Yeah they have a grind. That's her first sexual experience. And that's her first orgasm. Oh he don't even know. He doesn't even know, no wonder he's in high school.

So they just kind of, you know, they have an experience that day together. And then he kind of ices her a little bit and she's like, Oh my god, is he icing me? And then they're driving back to the college and he like puts his hand on her leg and she's like feeling so good. His friends come around. Steph, her roommate, is his friend, and her friend Molly, who's a cunt. Bitch is named Molly. Yeah.

He acts a little weird and Tessa's like, Are you embarrassed to be seen with me? And he's like, No, I just blah blah blah blah blah. So she's like This game is a good idea. What? Yada, yada, yada. Well that's kind of I can't tell you because I'm saving the reveal for the end. I'm not a- He's like no I'm not embarrassed to be seen with the Um you're a virgin with a boyfriend in high He basically what happens is he just kinda shoes her away and she feels like she got taken away.

because yeah, I know. Grow up. Grow up Virgins sucks. What happens is she's like, you know, you use me, fuck you, blah, blah, blah. I'm not ever touching you ever again. I should just stay with Noah. Harden, we see the first violent episode with Harden. She gets a call from her new friend Landon, who she met in classes. Not gay. With a name like that. But there is a reveal with Landon. So she gets a call from her friend Landon and is like

Harden's having an episode, a violent episode. I need you to come talk to him. Now how do we know that Landon and Harden know each other? Turns out they're about to be step brothers. Landins? Well it yeah, it doesn't go down that road. But that would have been so good. So Landon, you know, is her new BFF that she met in classes. She had no clue that this was Harden's Stepbrother to be. So she gets to Landon's. Yeah. Okay. What's he mad about?

He's mad because his father proposed to Landon's mother and they're going to be married and his father Is now sober, but was an alcoholic when Harden was growing up, and wasn't there for Harden, and was more of a father to Landon than he was to Harden. They are the same age. Harden's dad left when he was ten. And move to the United States. Oh I forget that he's

He's br ish. Oh. Yeah. So she's goes over there in the middle of the night to comfort Harden. Oh, and I left out a little I left out a little detail. What? Noah's there. Where? Wait. The only person I Yeah. No. Because I'm just like That day Noah showed up and was like, Surprise, I'm here and she's like, Great, because you know, she written off hard and she was like, Fuck you, I don't want nothing to do with you. Like you're being a dick in front of your feet.

I guess I'll just go with all reliable. So Noah shows up. But Can you tell that she's different'cause she's had a little bit of a little bit of a little I don't know. I I bet he could. I bet he could. You look different. You look different. I don't know what it I can't put my finger. Yeah. She gets a call from Landon in the middle of the night. I need you to come talk to Harden. He's screaming, your name came up. I don't know what's going on. So she leaves Noah.

In her dorm room, to go to Harden's house. I don't like that Landon's like, Oh, hey, this apparently volatile Yeah. Let me call this eighteen year old girl to come over and handle it. Hindsight twenty twenty is it's not a good idea. Yeah. Call the police. For sure. For sure, call the police. So gets there, she's talking to him, he's shit faced, he's drank an entire bottle of liquor, destroyed all the dishes in the house.

Is talking about how his dear old dad's gonna marry Karen and he's got a whole new family and never uh oh it's po oh it's These are not problems. He's a bitch. Yeah. He's definitely a bitch. So somehow that night they make it up into Harden's room. Somehow. And you know, she's calmed him down now and she's gonna calm him down even more. Oh. This is the first time she's ever touched a penis. She's gonna pee in the the G or P in the Mouth. P in the hand. She's just giving him a hand drop.

Even a slow burn, like It's it's it kind it gets b well it's you know it's all there's all new to her. That's probably the worst hand. I this is if you like, I wish I would have read this when I was seventeen, okay, but unfortunately I ha read it when I was thirty one. I don't know what to say. Well no, that's fine. The other I'm telling you This is a It's about Anna. It is. It's yeah, it's certainly 'Cause what What are we rewarding this bad behaviour?

Yes. Well that's the whole thing. That's the whole that's a literal theme in these books and they even say it in the books. They're like what we do to make each other feel better is we have sex with each other. And that's they say that in every book. It's a whole thing. That's the premise of the story. Anyway, she gives him an over the boxer's hand job, okay? We're not even skin to skin. No, we're not even. We're not even skip.

Problem. So then what happens is the next morning she's like, Fuck Oh my god, Noah So she goes back to her dorm. Uh Oh. Noah runs out. Harden had followed her and Harden is like Fucking tell him Tell him Tesla. Oh yeah, messy. Okay. Messy. It was messy. No was like Yeah, poor Noah. He He probably does. Harden's like fucking tell him Tessa, tell him everything. All of you touched my dick through cloth last night because I was so mad that my daddy's getting married. Yes. I hate them. Please stop.

Like a book about Noah and what he goes through and he comes out. Yeah. Okay, so they do break up. Yeah, obviously he could do better than her. Um but they do but they don't he no what this is by no means the end of Noah. They they break up, but he still loves Tessa. Oh no I get out of here. She's using you. Yep. They just kind of do a really long, drawn out back and forth thing with Like they're just toxic. They fight all the time.

They just they go to parties and they there's misunderstandings. Like Tessa will see him talking to a girl and get pissed off and go kiss a boy or something, you know. Straight people. Oh I know. It's extremely straight. So So do they have they banged it out yet though? Oh they don't bang it out for until like the end of the So she's like he's like, tell him, tell him. And so Noah's gone and now she's single and now they're together and

Now now we get but they're the he's not telling anyone they're together. So she is She is secret or or at least, you know There's something going on. There's a reason why he's not He and he's secretive with her. Like he'll come around when he's drunk. And he told her that he didn't drink. But he's only come around when he's drunk. So there's a lot of this stuff. So let's kind of cut to she gives her first blowjob on page two hundred and sixty one. Yep. But how's it go? I think Does she like?

Do you want Let's get some things going. Okay, you can kind of start right here where it says Okay, okay, okay. A chirp. Okay. And he chuckles against my neck, his hands travel down my body. He brings his thumb along the waistband of the oversized plaid pajamas. You gotta be hot to be hot. Yeah. And that's not being hot. It's hard. My pulse begins to quicken. And I grasp as his hand slides down the front of the He always has the same effect on me. Wet Wed. Literally. Uh Say Holy in my panties.

No His other hand cuts my breasts, and he hisses as he flicks his thumb over my sensitive nipple, making making me glad. I I decided not to sleep in my bra. Free the nip. I can't get enough. His raspy voice is even deeper, billed with lust. His hand cups me over my body. I don't care. Yeah. Can I tell you something? Can I tell you something? And every it's all they say. They don't they don't say anything else. I don't read the word in my head.

In this book, in any other smut book I read, I can't say panties. Yeah. I can't read it. Okay. I reach down and I take his hand, removing it from my pants. When I turn to face him, Frown covers his face. Oh wow. Oh why you s why are you so sad? I I want to do something to you. Slowly embarrassed. It is embarrassing. Embarrassed. Jesus Christ a smile overtakes me. What do you want to do? I don't know exactly. I just know I want to make him feel as good as he does.

I want to see him lose control like I did at the time. So she lost control in that room sometime? Whatever, I don't care. I don't know. What do you want me to do? My lack of experience is evident in my tone. Yeah it's evident. Harden puts my hands in his and slides them down to his bolt to the bulge in his pants. I really want those plump lips wrapped around me. I gasp at his words, and I feel the pressure in my thigh. Uh huh. some circles over his crotch. I know dude.

Some of them I'm like has any of Yeah, close your eyes and picture that before we write it down. His dark eyes regard me, gauging my reaction. Earning a smile from him, he sits up and he breathes. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. Okay, is that it? Hold on. I don't know. Is that'cause that wasn't a blowjob. Yeah. Yeah, he took a call. Drug dealer? No, he's just a shady motherfucker and he won't tell her. She goes, Who called me? Who called you? He goes, No one He has a girlfriend. He lies.

He has a girlfriend. Don't tell me. She goes, Was it Molly? That He goes, Tessa, it's not and then Landon comes in and interrupts.

Sh just shady things are happening. You know, he's also on the side, he's got a good friend named Zed who in the movie doesn't really have a role, but in the book, his role is huge. And he has a huge massive crush on Tessa. He's Harden's friend, but he's not as shitty as Harden, so he's a good guy. He's hot too. Tattoos, fucking like he's hot too. And he actually likes Tessa, but Tessa's obviously too stupid to go for sex. She's an idiot. I'm like don't even feel bad for me.

So then that kinda happens now again, just more off and on, off and on shit. Um they get into a fight. But so still no sex? Still no sense. 'Cause they never that was an interrupted blowjob. She does eventually like a little bit later give him a blowjob. After he gets back. Uh huh.

Um thank God. Thank God. They get in a fight. I can't remember what the fight is over, but now they're fighting and they both decide to go to a party and Tessa's out for blood. Like she wants to make him jealous. Like she's super pissed. So she proceeds to get drunk and they say, Let's play truth or dare again. And they're like, I dare you to kiss Zed. And Harden's like sitting on the couch, just right next to her. Zed's right there. And they to kiss. They make Out.

Hard. So Harden's pissed. Like he's you know, he's very possessive. Um, he's getting upset. They dare her again to go upstairs with said for ten minutes, and she's like, looks at Harden. Are we playing? And is like seven? Minutes in heaven. Yes. In college. That is what's happening. Thanks Bong. It is bonkers. I'm like, You're all virgins. Yeah d

So Tessa and Zed go upstairs and Zed is basically just like, I like you. I wanna take you on a date. I'm better than Harden. I'm better for you than he is, blah blah blah. And then they come downstairs, she's holding Zed's hand, hardened as a fucking Shit fit. Okay. And she starts running down the road. Oh, she comes down the stairs with Zed. She's holding his hands, pulls away, and then they dare harden to kiss Molly and then

Um Tess it's pissed. I know it's well Wild. Can I tell you something, honestly, something about these books? Like there's a reason I can't remember every detail because it's so fucking repetitive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every single one of these books is so repetitive. It's the same situation over and over and over again. So it's like I can't remember the minute detail. Yeah, that's very porno. It's like I can't fucking keep up it's like you're doing the same thing every weekend, okay.

So she's running down the street because she got pissed that he was gonna kiss Molly and then he's like, Come back, I love you and says I love you in front of everybody. It's like such a thing where like people say I love you in a fight. And I'm just like if that happens It's probably not good. If that happens I'm like about Maybe that wasn't it. I don't believe you. Maybe that was a thing you said. Yeah. To get me to do something.

So she calls Landon is like Landon can you come pick me up? Landon comes and pick up You know what one thing about Tessa? She's got a roster? She sure does. She's got a roster. Landon, Harden. Yeah. Oh yeah, Noah's still Still.

Lurking around and oh she's just being a bitch. Just being like, I'm gonna cut you off if you stay with this guy harden, blah blah blah blah. I think she should. Right. He says I love you, right? And she's like, How dare you say that to me? She gets in the car with Landon, they drive away, she's stopping in the car. The next day she's like Talking a heart and they meet up and she's like, You said you loved me last night. He goes, Well I don't I don't love you. Shock and

Uh-huh. Shock and awe. He loves her so much. Meanwhile, I think she does go on a date with Zed at some point. And he's like super smart. He like is like I wanna take you to my chemistry lab or whatever. Or he's a but no he's like biology. He's like, I wanna take you to my biology lab and show you this. new plant I've been trying to make. It's like glows in the dark. And he's like super smart and funny and cool and nice and He doesn't fucking need to- Got hitch himself. Oh he's trying to do it.

Parking bitch. He tries almost all. You don't want to self-destruct? Go. Right. Bye. Bye. Bye. Nope. He's got something for her. She's so special. This girl. She does. Is it be is it because she's a virgin and all? Untainted fruit. I know I hate them too, but hold on. Hold that thought.

Okay. So that happens. Then somehow her and Harden reconnect. She tells him she went on a date with Zed. He gets pissed, but they reconnect. And now we're here where they're having a fight. They're at his parents' house, I think. Meanwhile Tessa's become very close with Landon's mom and Harden's dad. She's like When Harden go'cause they're they Harden's such an asshole. Harden's such an asshole. Like

You know, she's Landon's best friend, so she's always at their house and she was always at their house when her and Harden are on and they just love her. She's such a good influence for Harden. She's making him such a better person. Uh huh. So she's always at Harden's parents' house, m well, dad and stepmom's house while he's off. What in the fuck the whole idea of like You don't love me or whatever, we're fighting, but I'm just gonna be At your parents' house.

your family and I'm always at your house and you can't escape me, you have no choice. The guest room is not like her room. Hey. But he always knows to find her there. He always knows when he you know when he decides to come crawling back after he fucks up, he always knows where he can find her. in your dorm. That's not your house. So now we're we're getting we're nearing the end of the book. We're at a sick part where they're they're on again. She says to him. Where do you establish?

And he goes, I love you, Tess, I've always loved you, it's always been you, it's only you, it'll only ever be you. Tell me you love me again. So she says I love you again. He goes, Say it again. Uh uh. And then they have Makeup side. Sex sex? No, no, they still haven't. But this right here, this is the first time he goes down on her. So that's funny. They s they refer to her clit as a bundle of nerves at the bottom of her something. It is very clinical. Alright, good night, guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But finally, just you know, a few days later, she's ready. By the way, they've only this span of this book I think is three months. I was going to say, Howard heard great. How's everyone's grades starting? What's everyone majoring in? She's doing obviously English. English communication. Yeah, she went there as an econ business major but decided'cause she just loves books so much that she's going to switch to English.

Huh, Anna. Mm. Yeah. And that's why she loves Harden so much as he just he loves books just as much as she does. He sounds like he can't read. Ha ha ha. They're back on and it's now it's it's time for her to lose her virginity. And so she does and he really likes to talk he likes to talk dirty and she she obviously likes that and he likes to make her say dirty things that make her uncomfortable while they're doing it.

She goes, I've only ever seen condoms in sex ed class where they seemed so intimidating. But right here, right now, I just want to yank it out of Harden's hand. The condom's getting you going? Yeah. Okay, bra. Virgin Um so they do it. And this part is g gonna be important, you know. They yeah, they have sex. They have sex. And he does something weird with the condom. Blows it up and ties it into NATO. Like that frog and shred? He's gonna know you like this. He puts it in his pocket.

The used condo? Uh-huh. He puts it in his pocket and is like, I'll throw this away later. And then also she's like, Well there's blood on the sheets because I lost my virginity. Can you throw these sheets away? He's like, Yeah, I'll throw these sheets away. She doesn't seem throw either thing away. So we was he gonna clone her? Ha ha ha. Um blood sacrifice? Is this a witch thing? I don't know. Oh I wish. Wish.

It's not that cool. But now, you know, they're in love. They've made love. They love each other. Um, her mom this is a f w after n they she loses her virginity, her mom officially cuts her off. And it's like, I'm not paying for your dorm, so you're gonna have to figure out where to live and Harden finds a place for them to live and they move in together. Now this is on the span you know, you start college in like September or August. Yeah. This is like November. Yeah.

Thanksgiving break. Yeah. Christmas time.

So they move in together to an apartment. I mean So he does come to find out he does have a job. He is one year older than her. Um he does have a job. He reads manuscripts for a publishing house. The publishing the publishing house well, Fifty Shades of Grey. I mean, this is a rip off. This is a Y a rip off of Fifty Shades of Rape. So he works at this publishing house. Um, he did work at a previous publishing house. It was a family friend Vance publishing, which gets very important. Dance.

In yeah. In this book. Actually at the end of this book he does end up getting Tessa a internship with Vance Publishing because Vance is a family friend. Yeah. Um, so you know, there we go. I mean so w he's in college for what? English? English. House. House. Yep. And now she works for her a publishing house. It's a paid internship. And so it's very much it's like are you really Yeah, like does this uh does this happen? No No, I guess it is a fantasy. It's a fantasy book, Paul.

I'm just like these sound like what the like people on house hunters' jobs are. Like For sure. You know, oh I'm a I'm a freshman in college. My budget is five point five million. I'm a manuscript reader for uh It's very much it's very much like that. Like how what did you start working in publishing when you were sixteen? Nepo baby actually, really. Nepple baby. His dad is the chancellor of the college. Yeah.

Like the dean. So they move in together, everything's great, blah, blah, blah. It's now time for his dad to get married to Land. Mom, the wedding. Is that how the book ends on a wedding? No. So we're at the wedding and finally Harden's ready to open up about his childhood and about why he's such a fucking prick all the time to everybody, how he can't forgive his dad. So as you know his dad left when he was ten.

Prior to that his dad was a raging alcoholic. Okay. And one night his dad fucked with the wrong people. Okay. And those people came to his house to beat up his dad, but his dad wasn't there. It was just Harden and his mom. and they raped his mom in front of him when he was eight years old. And he watched it. So he's got a Yeah, you know Chip on his shoulder. Yeah. So Is he seeing anybody about that?

Nope. Um he has nightmares every night, but they went away when he met Tessa. She's the only one person who can take the nightmares away. So That was like another thing when they were, you know, off and on and off and on. He was like, You just make the nightmares go away. What a nightmare.

So she's so he's opened up to her, she now knows this and she's like looking at his dad a little differently, like how can you know? But he's sober now and helped her get a job with Vance Publishing, his buddy from college, you know. Where's the mom? The mom lives in London. She will come to visit in the next book. So

You know, we've we've peeled these layers away, this is coming to light. She's now feels more comfortable with Harden, more open with Harden than she ever has before. And now we get to the big betrayal reveal. So they've been living together. Who was on that phone call? Who interrupted the blow? It all comes back.

They're off again or it's just one night, you know, it's just one night and like he hasn't come home or she's mad she's out walking around or something and she sees Steph and Molly and like Zed and like all his other friends.

standing there talking to them. Steph goes, Well what new dorm did you move into? She's like, I'm not in a dorm, I've been living with Harden and Steph's like, We didn't know you were living with Harden She's like, Yeah, we're like pretty fucking serious. Yeah. And none of his friends know that. Okay. Which is like weird. Sure. How would you not know? What has she not seen them? They've been going- Yeah, it has the whole thing. Oh I guess, okay.

They've gone to parties, you know, and like people knew that they were fucking around with each other, but they didn't know that they were like in love and like Taking the nightmares away and all this shit, you know. She goes, I don't have a new dorm. Uh yeah, I've been living with Harden and they're like, What?

And in walks Harden behind her and is like, Tessa, what are you doing here? I look up and his face is twisted in anger. He's trying to control it, I can tell, but it's about to boil over. He goes, I need to talk to you outside right now. And she's like, No, you can't take me outside and lie to me. Tell me what you need to say to me in front of all your friends. Yeah. What's going on? And he's like, You need to go home. And she's like, I'm not leaving. My wife's on the way.

Yeah. And so she's like, I can't keep doing this back and fuck and forth thing. And Harden's like, just go home and stuff's like, Oh, back to your guys' apartment that you're living in too too. Yeah, you shady weirdo. And then Molly's like, Oh well, well, well that's interesting to hear and Harden's like, Molly, shut the fuck up Oh my god, what Molly? And Molly's like, Well have you told her the thing?

He has a kid. Oh no, she goes, You're really taking this whole thing a little too far, aren't you? And he goes, Molly, I swear to God, if you don't shut the fuck up Tessa goes, What thing? Oh my god, it was a bet. He goes testing. Oh my god, it was a... that he goes, Tessa, go outside. It was true that what is he taking too far? Tell me, everybody. Molly looks at Tessa and is like, Wait, you you must be in on it too.

Men. I knew it. I told Jace you knew this whole entire time, but he wouldn't believe me. Harden, you owe Zed some big bucks for this. Harden's face is completely pale. All the blood seems to be drained from his entire body. My head is swimming and I'm so confused. I briefly glance at Nate, Tristan, and Steph.

But they're all confused. Knew what? My voice is shaky. Harden grabs my arm and tries to pull me away, but I jerk out of his grip. Don't play stupid with me. I know you know. What did he do? Split the money with you? Molly says to Tess. Harden reaches for my hand and his fingers are ice cold.

I jerk away and stare at him. My eyes are wide. Tell me, what is she talking about? I yell to him, tears threaten my eyes, and I struggle to keep down all the emotions storming through me. Harden so astounds Me by opening his mouth and then closing it again. Oh you really don't know then. Oh this is amazing. Everybody pull up a seat. Such a kind of

She is. She's serving. Uhhuh. Molly don't, says Steph. No, I think Harden should tell her. She starts giggling. Harden again, I'll I'll tell you outside. No, you'll tell me here in front of everybody.

He pauses, fidgeting with his fingers before he speaks. I'm sorry, he holds his hands out in front of him. Tissa, you have to remember this was way before I even knew you. His eyes are begging for mercy. I don't trust my voice and I barely open my mouth when I say tell me. Oh. That night, the second night, the second party you came to when we played Truth or Dare and they asked if you were a virgin. It was a divergining bat. It was a diverging bat!

You said you were and that gave us an idea. Gave who the idea, Molly says. Gave me the idea, Harden says. his eyes never leave mine, which doesn't make any make this any easier. That it would be fun to make a bet. Yeah Tessa dude, fuck Tessa. So she it comes out, she like looks to stuff, she's like, You knew this entire time? Seth's not really a girl's girl. No she's not. Molly's definitely not a Yeah, stuff. You know what, you're kinda not a girl's girl. Uh huh.

There was always something in the back of my mind, a feeling that I was missing something, all of the air seems to be stuck out of the small room, and I find myself gasping, as the reality of this all sets in. There were so many clues, I was just too blinded by Harden to see them. Why would he take it this far to have me live with him?

You knew I turned to stuff. I can't look at Harton any longer. I was gonna tell you so many times, Tess. I didn't believe it when he claimed he won, even with the condom Jace Snickers. Sheets though? I mean how can you deny blood on the sheets, Molly laughed. Fucked. This was insane when I read this. I said, You're fucking keeping the condom and the sheets and bringing them to your friends and showing. But I mean honestly, those are the two easiest things to fake in the world. Literally.

I don't know why they're like, Oh and then you brought the shoots and there was no way. Well uh Full of blood.

That's quite literally how the book ends. Like she just walks out and that's how the book ends. I mean that was a drama bomb. It was a drum a ball. Yeah. 300 pages too long I was just gonna say like it's a TikTok that I would have scrubbed through to the Yes, it's five hundred and eighty-two pages and I'm telling you it's three hundred pages too long. Now in the movie, it's certainly the bet was nothing like that. The bet in the movie because that's just

That makes you hate hard. Like, there's no coming back from that. And I feel like in the movie they knew that. They're like, well, we gotta have some redeeming quality. Like if that's pretty far. Yes. What the bet was just in the movie the bet was just that he would make her fall in love with him and then he would just dump her. He would just dump her. Yeah, but that summon doesn't make sense.

Because to me it's like the whole prize, the whole thing that made her so special was the virgin thing. Uh-huh. Well then so okay, riddle me this. Okay. Ask your questions. Ask your questions. Because of an exact... Z or Z. Z Zed. So if Zed was Zed actually into her?

Zed was actually into her and he was kind of telling her like you know I I can't remember if maybe it's in the beginning of this book or it in I think it might be at the very end of this he was saying something like I would have called the bet off, like I would have stopped it, I wouldn't have done that to you, I wouldn't have like I actually like you and Harden even up to the end, and this was after everything, he still went through with it.

Yeah, that's the whole thing is like Harden could have just been like I like her now and stop it. Oh whoopsie. I actually do like her. I'm gonna go tell my friends the better is off. Yeah. And honestly, you tell her. You tell me. You tell her. You say this is fucked. Yes! But the reason that I started hanging out with you was because of this bet and then everything. Yeah. Yeah. But also Tessa sounds unbearable. She's dumb. Dumb.

She doesn't yeah. Well that's the whole thing with these books. The girl is always special and it's like, but are you like in this one, she doesn't like ketchup and he's like, Oh, you don't like ketchup? That's not very not American of you. It's like that's your special thing, is that you don't like ketchup? Do you like what is the other sauce? H H P sauce. Oh, do you prefer H P sauce? Yeah, it's just like she's not special, but she is for whatever reason.

But also she was kind of an absolute total bitch. Yeah, she fucked up. And she did fucked up shit. It was like toxic and shitty. She is toxic, that's the whole thing. They b they're not both innocent. Um Yeah. Yeah. And so okay, any questions? I mean...

'Cause I mean there's a lot to digest in this. It is very long, so there are some things that I glossed over, obviously. It's not gonna be perfect, but I think yeah, the the the whole main gist is that her and Noah are not together, he's still in her line. So then what's with Noah? Um they're still in each other's lives because they just Correct. She never loved it. He's just too a goody good she didn't love him the way she loved Hardin. That's for sure.

Sharden didn't love her the way she thought he did. Uh he's trying to convince her that he did. He said he's like please don't go, I love you more than anything. I'll do anything for you. This bet was a bad idea. Um Um so then when he was like taking those phone calls, what was that? Like they were calling to be like We're gonna tell on you. Oh. You better tell Tessa or we're gonna tell her. Well why wouldn't they have just told her? I mean fuck.

Because he you know what he was doing? So like when he moved her into their apartment, he wouldn't let her go to her dorm to pack her things. He was like, I've got us an apartment. You're gonna be moving in. And I'm gonna go to the dorm and pack your things so you wait he like he put he pulled her away from everybody. That's wild.

So like she wasn't really seeing Steph and Molly. Like she would see Lannon in class and she would be at Lannon's house twenty four. Lannon was really the only person that she was around. What's going on with him? He does he's not secretly in love with her. He has a long term girlfriend, Dakota, who lives doesn't live That's a different school. Yeah, goes to a different school. He's gay. He's not gay.

Okay. It sounds like he's my best friend and she's like always over and it's like no big deal because like I have a girlfriend She's out of state. School so it's like Tessa's it's like, you know, we hang out. Yeah. I'm there for her all the time. Every time Harden drops her, I'm there for her and I cle kick up the pieces. And he does. Yeah. Beta Cup. Yeah, he is a beta cog. Everyone. Yeah. She's so special. See, I don't I don't like these characters.

I'm telling you, I'm glad I had watched the movies before I'd read the books. I would not have read these books if I didn't watch the movies. Fuck them. Yeah. Fuck all that. You know, I think it goes to say I've read all these book in nine books in nine days. And I can tell you why? Because I could gloss over half the fucking dialogue because it was so goddamn repetitive. But so there's no But it's an intro to smut. There are three more. Let's do I wanna cover this in the next episode.

Yeah, it's it's a lot to digest. This one is also a lot to digest, but these two we can kind of gloss over a lot and just end end in one episode. Yeah, they are introduced introductory Is like the theme of the book is like that first line kind of on each one. What's the first one on this one? What's that say? There's only one direction, follow your heart. What is that one side? I hate that. Wait, there's only one direction. Direction Harry Styles. Whoa. So what's this one is can love?

Last is three months. It it's hard, Paul. It's hard. The past is a bet. I almost had to while I was reading these books, pretend that this happened over like three years. And the idea that his parents were like, Oh we love her like how No, like he's bringing her over. She we love her so much. Um it's been three weeks. Yep, just only calls Landon when Harden's not there. Okay. Anyway, so let's leave it there. Yeah. All right. Okay. It's a lot to digest, but thank you for taking the time.

Thank you. Yeah. For taking the bullet. You're welcome. The bull away. I felt dumber after reading these. Yeah. Anyway, you know, it's like we'll get through these but I am excited for other books with other Let me give you just a little. Things that happen. Little tease. The book I'm reading right now, first paragraph, I was like, Oh, this is on another fucking level. Okay. Yeah, like right. Riding. Yeah. But also dirty. They waste no time.

Good. Alright. All right. Thanks. You're welcome. See you next week. Bye.