This is Us Trying

Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rat An iHeartRadio podcast.

Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in grub a dub dub first scrub of twenty twenty four. That's right, yeah.

First one, first one. It's a lucky year. Do you know that?

In what way?

It's a leap year?

Mmm? So that means people who have leapier birthdays are like having a birthday, that they actually have a birthday this year. Correct. That's exciting for that.

Yeah. And it's a lucky year to get married. I know this because everybody sent me. There was like a meme going around and everybody was sending it to me. What did it say that this coming year is a lucky year to get married.

What is a lucky year to get married?

I think no?

But what does that mean? Like luck is in like you're married, Mary, lucky, blessed?

Wow?

Yeah, you and Ali just lucking out and looking out in.

The blessed life. Wow. Yeah.

Well, Happy New Year, everybody. Yes, I feel like this year a lot of people. So there's always the excitement of like new year.

Knew me.

You know why am I gonna change?

What?

Am I gonna strive for? This?

Year.

But then there's people who are like I get very anxious about that pressure of like having to come up with new things, Like you know when you're just content and you're like, it can just be another day. Yeah, it can just be a great day. No, no, no, I'm saying like I saw more people talking about that side of it, which I feel like normally it's all like all the things we're gonna do and not do and

You, I discovered so much about myself in the last eight days.

What'd you discover?

A lot that I feel like we can get into because I know later, you know, a lot and a detox that I'm doing great that I think is very interesting. Okay maybe to some so, but I feel like we should do New Year's a little bit later because don't you want to talk about your Christmas?

Oh yeah, we can talk about Christmas. It's great. I went to Florida and then to ended up in Louisiana, so I got to go see my parents. I love seeing my mom's house during Christmas because I normally spend Christmas at my sister's house in Louisiana. So I flew into Florida to see my parents and it was nicely went and had like the lovely dinner, and then my

I feel like everybody in my life has been sick within the last two weeks. I know at some point.

But let me tell you something. I was researching like health smoothies, and I made him this like pineapple, ginger, cayenne pepper, like spicy smoothie that's supposed to help with like uh if you get the like flim build up. Because a lot of people were having this like cough that was getting in the lungs. It was really bad. Then I was like, we can't have that, and I got him to drink it. My dad is not someone who would ever drink like a like a shot, you know,

Yeah, I get that. It was like that for me when I first started dating Robbie, because I went to went from like my house was a museum. Everything was perfect in its spot, it was quiet, I had background music on to my TV like it was.

Like a spa. Didn't feel lived in.

Did not feel lived in just the way I like it. And I went from that to having two little ones running around and it was very jarring at first. But now I'm now, I think I'm more used to it. And also they're getting to the age where they're really into like theirs stuff they're doing on the computer, so it's like a little bit different now. But yeah, it was very jarring at first.

Like they had a little a mini basketball goal, you know, in one of their rooms, and so the youngest Memphis wanted to play basketball, which I mean, I'm huge compared to him, so I was like, I'll play on my knees. So I'm on my knees on the carpet playing basketball and I was so sore my knees were Like I was like, shoot, I'm getting to that age where like I'm sorry, I didn't have need baths to whip out just in the midst of the eve. Yeah, but yeah,

What is up with that?

Well, so you know, I had discovered that it could be caused by sugar, because you remember the last time I had one, I was like, I'm not stressed, and typically it's caused by stressed or lack of sleep, and I wasn't having those. But I did definitely have a lack of sleep while I was gone, because I I basically woke up at three point thirty to go to the airport when I left, and I never really had a great night ever. Bound never bounced back, but the knkerstore

Yikes.

And I made it dentist appointment for myself, not knowing I was gonna get a kinker sore. I was very nervous about that. So I've been to I'm sure they know how to, you know, I keep trying. What I do is I go to the dentist and then because I just hate the process of going to I hate just being at the dentist because it's painful to me. I never go back to the same dentist because I just think that there's gonna be a dentist that can do like well that doesn't hurt me.

Just run through every dentist in.

Town, like they all do the same thing, and they're all like wonderful. But in my mind, I'm like, maybe I'll find someone where it doesn't hurt. But it just it's just uncomfortable.

Yeah, the scraping, the sound, you know, but you might be surprised by this.

You love it.

No, Oh, I have not gotten my teeth cleaned in over a year.

Wow, I am shocked by that.

Yeah. My dentist is far away. He is in Redondo Beach, and if you do not live in Los Angeles, it's a far jaunt in traffic, and I just never make the time.

It's important. I know, I hadn't been in over a year. It's been a long time. And because I genuinely get so, I build it up so much in my head and I make it so much worse than it is. Like it's not comfortable, but it's doable. I'm not like I'm gonna be fine.

I've lost twice a day, so I know you. Yeah, you're a really good I'm really good Foster, Thank you.

He was great today. It's Ali's dentist. Ali goes every three months.

That seems a little excessive.

Why he told me I need to come every four months? Why I think, but the way my teeth are shaped, basically, I'm either I'm either I feel like I foss more than ever this year, which wasn't like every single day, but I f lost like pretty consistently. And he said my gums like waiting really bad. So he was like, you should come every four months and just to be consistent. So I said my appointment.

I did. You're one of those people. What that makes your appointment for the next dental visit before you?

Otherwise I will not do it.

It's just I do that too.

Oh you do. Yeah, I don't because I don't know how my schedule in like six months.

Yeah, it's just on there though. It's more like a reminder, like I can cancel if I need to, but it's there for me to know that in this general vicinity of time, I need to get my teeth.

Doe got it? Okay, cool? Nice.

So anyways, I didn't cry. I didn't have any cavities. No, I've literally.

Cried the dentist. This is a real.

And the receptionist told me she was really proud of me. So it was it was great.

Yeah, no, no, notes great, great, I'm proud of you. Thank you. So much.

How was your Christmas?

Uh? My Christmas was really really, really nice. So I went to Robbie and I went to the Bahamas for a few days before Christmas, and then we came back the day before Christmas Eve, Christmas Eve Eve, went down to San Diego and spent just like forty eight uninterrupted hours with like my family, my niece, my my nephew. So it was really cute. Did nothing but like eat and sit and just like whatever bedrot or whatever, but not in the bed in my sister's house, okay, but

Let me see I would have the same reaction.

I was like, the first chapter two, should I stay or should I go? I'm like, that's a great gift.

And this is a fully revised and updated second edition, And so.

That's what she said. She goes, I love the first edition. I don't know if they made any changes to the second edition, but it was it was given with good intent. But I was laughing so hard reading the chapter names and stuff, because I'm like, is this like an SOS.

There's a drawing on the cover of two people hugging each other, look like they're getting over a major conflict.

The dramatic books I bought when Haley was on tour and I was having a hard time.

It was like, and you would send them to her? No.

I bought them for yourself, but I never read them because then she got home and every we've been over saying okay, we started therapy again.

But yeah, so I am going to read this and I will, you know, give any nuggets that I find, I will bring them to the podcast to share.

I think you are going to love it, and I think you're going to be able to be like this changed a lot.

Yeah, do you feel do you feel is there a feeling as though.

You don't need as much relationship tidbits now that you have a ring? Do you feel like No?

I don't think so, because I feel like there's always stuff that you can be better at in your relationship, Like there's always stuff that's coming up. But I do feel like a major source of conflict in our relationship was waiting, So like, when are we getting engaged? Oh my god. I never told this story on the podcast about the president he gave me last year because it was triggering so us. Yeah, but now that we're in

So you you before you got the ring, before y'all got engaged, before Robbie proposed. Yes, you had been waiting for over a year. Yeah, that to happen. Yes, And we've never talked about this because it was a trigger. It was so as a trigger event. Yeah, and you're ready to tell your truth.

Share I'm trying to share the truth. Yeah, okay, So this was so this was Christmas twenty twenty three that we just had So Christmas twenty twenty two. Yeah, we had been having conversations and I've always been honest about this. This is the push and pull of our relationship was I was ready to get engaged after like nine months of dating and he was not. So meeting in the middle was like always are uh, I don't know what the word is. Meeting in the middle was always our

You got me a promise ring, yeah, basically.

Like a promise It wasn't a promise ring, but like, yeah, essentially a promise ring. And I put it on and it was like three sizes too big and I was just like, what am I gonna wear this on my thumb? It wouldn't even fit my thumb. And I was just like, and he goes, are you upset? And I was like, no, no, it's really sweet and I understand and I get it.

I can see you just hear that you look very swollen and plate and fresh tears.

Yeah.

Yeah, here's the photo I got. Said what I asked for a picture of it to try to make her hand look as like masculine as possible.

So it's very funny because I put it back in the box and I just like left it like in the bathroom like I never wore itized. No, I didn't get it sized like, I just never wore it. I kept it in the in the thing. And after we got aged, Robbie was like, can I wear it? Do you mind if I take it put it on like a like a chain and wear it around my neck? And I was like, oh, I love that idea. Are you kidding me? So now he wears it a lot,

That's really nice.

Yeah, we've come full circle.

Literally and figuratively, literally.

And figuratively, but yeah, that was that was that was something.

There were many moments where we were like, it's it's gonna happen like that was.

It though, Like Christmas last year. I was like, yeah, yeah, my gosh, I can't believe it. The boss bring, I know. I was like, and I know what he meant, Like he meant well obviously, like it was good intentions, but like if.

It was anyone but you, it would have been like very well received, very well received, right right right?

You were looking for something else, a rock a rock on that on that band and it was songs, Yeah, yeah, sons. Yeah. So now we've come full circle and uh, it's beautiful. It's a beautiful ring. Maybe we might use it as his wedding band. Actually, oh wow.

It's just a little bit him like for him, yeah, like but this is just so funny, is he?

It was the ring size that I thought I was, so he did get me the right side and men's and men I don't know. Definitely looked like.

Like ring size the same as men of like shoe sizes for men and women.

Yeah, but yeah, we might use it as his wedding band. TVD.

Speaking of jewelry shopping, I'm shopping before Christmas and I run into Sophia Bush. Oh wow, we're just keep crossing paths. Yeah, she was so nice because I didn't see her. She had a mask on, so she like tapped me. I was like hey, and like hold she did. I know, she's so sweet.

We're in what are you? Are you embarrassed to ask her to come on? No? Not all.

I remember when Easter kind of lightly brought it up and she's like, oh, that's so cute.

So what's what is it? What's stopping you?

Well, I don't see her, like I know she has her own podcast, but I don't see her on a lot of podcasts like that are like ours.

Yeah, she doesn't like do guest stuff.

Yeah, but often so I just start to everything.

Yeah. I just want our podcast to be like in its highest form when we have her on.

Well, nothing better than a new Year yeah, but maybe like a cool studio space, you know. Okay, yeah, so wait till we elevate.

Yeah yeah, right sure, speaking of I was listening to our podcast from our first podcast of the year in twenty twenty three.

Do you know it was supposed to be a scrub Aissance?

Yeah?

Did it happen? No, don't work. So I got all this applies to make a new vision board for us this year. Oh yeah, I made a vision board. You know, no I met for the podcast. Oh this is this is not for me nor for you. Oh you and I were going to do this together.

Oh yeah when.

I don't know later great, but I know we didn't have a scrub assance. But I did have a renaissance that year. That was my word last year, and it like, really stuck.

I can't remember my word last year.

Well what's the point making one? I don't know.

But I also didn't make a vision board last year, so maybe that's where it ran a while. Just went off the rails.

Rogue, rogue? What'd you do without a vision? Just came up with it? Just winged it, yeah, just winged it, all winged it.

But I was trying to think of my word for this year. But I was like, was this my word last year? I can't remember.

Impactful word? It sounds like.

Yeah, hard to say. So your word this year's try yes, which was a hint before we left for Christmas. There was a little nod to that because you got your necklace, you have your initials on it.

Yeah, he did good this year. This was my Christmas this year.

Good job, Robbie.

Yeah, good job, Robbie.

My new initials and your new initials are try Tanya rad Yadagar.

Which is like the most Tanya thing ever. Yeah. The fact that my initials are the word try feels so meant to be.

And I find it interesting that you chose This is Me Trying as your song as a host to mirror Ball.

So it was a play on the word try. Yeah.

But in miraball she goes I've never been in natural. All I do is.

Try, try, try, yeah. So it was more for like people that don't know Taylor, you know, like if I put mirror Ball, people wouldn't get it. They'd be like that, what does mirable have to do with try? You know what I mean? But This is Me Trying is quite a sad song. It's so sad.

It's about it's literally about it's about like addiction.

Yeah, so that's not the theme of the song. Is not quite what I want my ear to look like. It's like the name of the song, this is Me Trying.

You could have gone with Macy Gray try what is that?

Try to say goodbye? And that choke try to walk away and I stumble no, I try to have it. It's clear my world crumbles when you are not there. Used change, Yeah, not quite the vibe I was going twenty four.

Maybe I've been away from me al for too long, but that kind of sounded good.

Thank you.

It's the tone in her voice. It's easy to mimic.

Easton's harmony really came through anyways.

Anyways, to try, Yeah, what is that?

Encompass? Like, what what does it look like for you?

So when you define the word try, it's like to oh, what is it? It's like to attempt, to attempt to accomplish, to attempt to accomplish. And to me, there is no more defining term of a modern woman than to try or what did I say again? To attempt to accomplish. That is the definition of a modern woman. To attempt to accomplish. So this year I'm going to attempt to accomplish many different things. So it does such as well for starters. I mean, it's only the second day of

Oh it makes me nauseous when I try to do it. It's the this acid with the warmth. It didn't do it.

Just a little lemon. I don't like squeeze a whole lot. Oh there. Yeah, just like a pinch of lemon. Ye warm water.

It's really good.

So that's what I'm trying to do this week year. Yeah, but I'm going to do new stuff. I'm gonna try new stuff every week. I love that. Yeah.

Did you make an ends and outs list?

I did not?

Did you? Yeah? Did you have a word for this year?

In twenty twenty three? My word was harmony. I was trying to find better harmony in my life.

Did you that?

Kind of not?

Really?

This year my word is Cocomo.

Wow?

What is that's?

It's a club, It's a place in Indiana. It's also a fictional island that the Beach Boys sing about. But I want to relax more and do more stuff that's not work. Twenty four Yeah that's Michael.

Yeah, because here's the thing. I feel like you do so much, but you're always working, Like you're always doing it because you're working.

Yeah, exactly, and I'm lucky that my work is cool and interesting, but also it's it's work, so it's annoying, and I want to spend more time with my wife and just doing fun stuff like you would do on the island of Kokomo.

So I tell you I love the intent behind it, the symbolism. Symbolism.

Yeah, my word for this year is well, I have two because.

I can't remember.

That's I can't remember last year, so I'm making up for it. I am curious what my word was because I'm wondering if.

I obviously I wouldn't work on it.

Okay, my word for this year. One of them is relinquished, because I want to let go of like meeting your word last year. No, no, no. But the other one's completion, because I find that I start things, or I have ideas of things, and I never follow through, whether it's like fear of failure or fear of it not working out,

Yeah.

So it started with the vision board, because I gotta be honest. We did it on New Year's Eve and I took an.

Edible and I got I didn't finish it.

No, everyone else was like really into theirs getting them glued, and I hadn't even like I had ripped out things.

Yeah, phase one hmmm.

I gone through phase one and then I just was like in the kitchen eating, like watching everyone, giggling to myself. And then I was like, heyley, guys, are you gonna do your vision board? And I thought I should do this because I want my My word's gonna be completion. So I want to start on this and I finished it.

Wow, you know what you should do? Tell me? We should make you something that says the word completion and put it up somewhere that you see it daily, so that you can know that that's your focus for the year and not only not forget, but also gear your decisions through that lens.

Well, it feels like something I'm gonna have daily where I think about it because it's like even a small as like choosing to declutter a space instead of just like starting and then stopping because I get distracted by something else, being like, no, you gotta this is like you know what you're striving to do. So I think it's gonna hit me in the face, like every day nice, thanks so much.

So I try to find your word from twenty twenty three and I found I did not, but I found this interesting thing on a Hayley Kyoko fan message board. So someone said, someone said Becca's cousin is so sweet in her recent Instagram post. Harmony is indeed the word for twenty twenty three for Becca.

Oh okay, so it was harmony?

No, I mean, harmony was my word. I said that on the podcast last year. So I mean, but maybe your cousin posted about harmony too. I don't know.

I feel like that could have been your word last year because it does sound.

You gave me a bracelet with the word harmony, But that wasn't my words.

It was I gave you a bracelet with the word you chose for me. Yes, yes, yes, okay, this is all coming.

Together all right.

Wow, that took a term, right right. I assigned all my friends up sign. I assigned all my friends words that I wanted.

For them for the new Year. Yeah, yeah, yeah hard. I didn't have a harmonious year. I think that's good in.

A lot of ways, the fact that I assigned you all words.

So do you want to know some of my outs and ins?

Yeah?

I do, so out these are some of my outs talking mean about my body, Yeah, I said, unless it's Salley or Ali, because sometimes it's like funny. It's like we go back and forth and it's not like funny, it's kind of funny.

It's not funny.

Well it's not funny to Hailey, but Ali and I do go back and forth.

It's kind of funny, but it's not funny. But you know why you're putting that energy into the universe and we want to.

Stay Okay, this is my list? Is my list talking about age because I feel like I've like gotten to this habit where all of a sudden, I turned thirty five and I'm like, oh, I feel so old. I feel blah blah blah, and I like don't want to be that person.

I hate.

I've always hated when people do that, when they talk about we're so young. I know, but like I've always been like, I mean, you do thirty five? Is that It's kind of that weird age because I've never thought about the number of the age I'm turning, and thirty five is the first year where I was like, hmm, that's interesting, mm hmm. But I don't want to talk about that anymore. So go back to that cluttered spaces.

Oh wow, what's in.

Having a sleep routine, a healthy sleep routine, being outside more, less screen time, more conversations with strangers.

Like safely wait, pause for one second. Do you want to hear the craziest thing? Yes, maybe I'm flying out. I flew out to the Bahamas by myself, without Robbie. He came out a day after me. So the person I was sitting next to me on the plane was like, this man, I don't know how old he was, let's see, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, but we end up chumming it up, talking the whole like a good amount of the flight, got his backstory, talked about his kids

That's crazy? Like what are the chance of.

All the people I know? Thank you? Anyways, back to your strangers, But.

Yeah, having more conversations with strangers.

I learned from this man. Yeah.

I actually was like open to having a conversation with my flight buddy on the way back, but she didn't seem interested, so I didn't force it, but I was like open to it.

That's step number one.

Thank you, more cooking, less food delivery. Nice decluttering. I said, intentional time, as in like having intentional time with people where it's not work based, it's not anything, my phone's not on the table, It's just like intentional one on one time doing things that the people that I love love phones, staying in my purse at dinner out or just out of sight, traveling to new places, trying new things even when scared, completing projects, and hosting dinner parties.

Yeah, that's cute. So I watched this thing on Instagram. I don't know it was this guy, but he was talking about the power of the phone.

Did you post it?

I posted it, but I got so many dms about it. I was like, Wow, this really struck a chord with me. So I was like, obviously it's striking a card with a bunch of other people. But he was like giving this ted talk and he goes, he was talking, he didn't have his phone. He goes, do you feel differently now if I bring my phone out and I'm holding my phone like this, just holding it here. I'm not looking at it, but I'm just holding it. And I was like, yeah, I actually do feel different like I do.

Done, I'm with you.

I'm over it.

I'm with you.

I'm tired of being rude, tired of being rude. Rude is out. Yeah, rude is out present. You know what else is out?

Is uh commenting mean things on public platforms, which it's always been out, But in my mind, I'm like, if someone does something shocking, okay, if I see someone in there dating someone, or it's something I don't like, or it's a celebrity information where I'm like, what is this? I have a reaction to it. At the very most, I'll send it to a friend and have a private conversation about it and be like, what this is crazy? But commenting a rude, hurtful things on a public platform

That's always been outfying.

It's just crazy. I just am like, I can't imagine going on and saying I'm not someone who's like I never gossip, Like I have private conversations about things, but it's like to hurt go on someone's page and say something that's like hurtful to someone's heart. I don't get it. Yeah, personally, So that's out.

Yeah, that bold stands the new stands. Yeah, so that's that for me.

You don't have any off the top of.

Your head, ins and outs, No, but I will tell you that I totally started off the year with a major bucket list moment because I was a part of Dick Clark's New Year's Rocket Eve with Ryan Seacrest. Hold On, yeah, I mean, let's give it up for the name.

No, can we just talk about how what is.

It just gonna be Ryan Seacrest New Year's Eve?

You did not? You were like, oh, yeah, I have to do this like New Year's Eve thing, Like you under sold it. So I literally had no idea what she was doing. She was like, do you have a dress second borrow or do you have any outfit ex and borrow? I was like, oh yeah, She's like I just she came over the day before, just like very much casual, let me see what you have.

Oh yeah, this will work. She's like literally on the biggest New Year's evening. Ever, why did you do that?

What do you mean? Why did I did you under like? Why did you just act like it was just this weird thing that they were having you do locally?

That's how you sold it to me? Because well, first of all, I didn't know. I don't know. I don't like to get to hype because I'm like there's always I feel like you don't know if you're doing something until like you've done it, you know what I mean. So I think I was just like cautioning myself of to be excited.

Yeah, I think that should be out for twenty twenty four. I think you should celebrate big when you get opportunities that are exciting. Yeah, and I under sell yourself.

I'm with you. But yeah, it was the craziest thing, and like, I don't know, it's just really really really really cool. And I'm obsessed with Genie. So Genie I was the host of the LA portion of New Year's Rock and Eve. So she's the how that I was with and she was just the coolest. I've always just been such a big fan of hers. She's like, honestly just so. But I'd love to have her back.

If she's she's great.

Yeah, she's great.

And now she's a mom. Wow going through a divorce. Oh man, I know it actually doesn't seem so good because I feel like all the things I see about it online are just like always popping up. But she seems she seems like when I saw her to be in really good spirits and like just really really thriving.

Yeah, love her.

Yeah. It was funny because someone's like, did you do the routine? You know, like the Ross and Rachel routine.

I we did on New Year's Eve we watch Friends.

Yeah, yeah, I did not do the routine. My airtime was probably forty five seconds, but it was an impactful forty five seconds.

Yeah, you probably should learn the routine. That's a good real.

That is a good reel. Although I don't know if he'd be down.

He is so down. Remember when we did the fancy dance, he was so into it. Yeah, Yeah, you were the one we were having to drag onto the dance for.

Yeah, I'm not so good at the synchronized dancing, but the the routine seems doable. Yeah.

Do you remember long? It's long, Yeah, but it's it's easy movements that I think you can learn, just some five, six, seven, eight movements.

Yeah exactly.

Was there something there was something else that you said, Yeah, we can do it with my detalks.

Oh we come back, Okay, We'll be right back.

Yeah, all right, So Tanya, you have started a new detox. Yes, what is it? So?

I have come to realize that I am addicted to Survivor, like in a not healthy way. I'm in the middle of three different seasons.

How do you keep up? Like?

How do you?

I don't know why three different seasons? Instead of just watching.

Just one, we watch one as a family, we watch one that's currently airing live but it's only once a week so it's not that much. And then we watched one just Robbie and I.

Why do I feel like the one that is alive has aired? The finale?

Like they did it did?

It just ended?

So that so now it's just two Who won? Her name is d and who won? All over one? I got second place?

Ye?

Yeah, thank you so much.

Nice.

But it's weird because, like I don't know if you guys do fantasy football, but every player gets like points.

I don't.

So Robbie did it the same way he does fantasy football. So my player didn't win. She got fourth place, but somehow I got second place because all my players lasted pretty long.

Oh I see yeah, okay, so you are doing a detox of Survi.

Yes, so I decided that I want to do a detox of Survivor at least until the next season starts to air in February.

Okay, So it's going to be about season in February.

Correct forty six, Season forty six. Okay, So for the next month, I'm not going dry, fully dry, but it's not going to be a daily occurrence in my life anymore. So if anybody has any show recommendations that they would like to give me, that would be very much appreciated and help with my detox. Did you watch Saltburn? No, because you gave it the worst review of all times.

I didn't mean to give it the worst review.

You did. You were like, I think you'd hate it. It's dark, And then I'm like, it's dark.

At that, Like, did you watch it?

I did watch it.

It's so it was like so engaging. I don't know, it wasn't it wasn't a bad movie.

No, it's it's a good movie. I really dug it.

It's just dark and twisted. Yeah, it's a psychological thriller. But I never would have thought you'd be is having to de talk from survivors. So I don't know what you like at this point.

Well, it's interesting because I do like Yellow Jackets, which is a very dark show as well. Have you seen that? No, I think you would like it too. Okay, it's a dark show, but I like it because the story is like very interesting, it's compelling.

I think you would like Saltburn if you like Yellow Jets.

Really, I think so too. And I think if you can go into it being like there's some moments where you're just like, what the movie not a show?

Maybe the moments in Yellow Jackets personally, I think that are like horrifying, are much worse than what happens in Sulburn.

In my power, I don't know if I could watch the Yellow Jackets.

It's very good.

It's very very good. Both are very good. Saltburn Yellowjackets are great to me.

Yellow Jackets is like ten out of ten.

Wow, Okay, well, I'll watch Yellow Jackets if you'll watch the much Stelburn deal.

Selburn takes place in two thousand and six, which I think is really fun for people our age because that's what we were like, you know, high school.

Yeah.

I don't even know if I realized that. Really was that a significant point?

I mean they put it on the screen, a really big text, and then everyone's clothes kind of looked like it. The music, especially the music's the biggest I notice.

The music was really good. What a great year of music.

Yes, a lot of like MGMT stuff like that. Nice, But it takes place in this like really ornate like palace, so it's kind of hard to like the two and six of it all gets lost in that, but.

It's beautifully shot. Okay, fine, I'll watch it if you watch Yellow Jackets. Okay, deal deal.

I Also, I don't know if I've talked about this, but I did finish Fellow Travelers. I speak about this because I cried. It was like so intense. The ending. I was like sobbing, and Maalen be goes, She's like, are you good? But I think I mean Fellow Travelers is about I mean, I don't know how to say it exactly what it is. But it's like the politics with the like ban of homicideuality of like people getting literally arrested and killed for being gay, like they all

Did I already talk.

About this on the podcast. No, No, it's not fully it's not safe for everyone still to have a relationship with in a same sex relationship or LGBTQ plus relationship.

So I did not watch Philo Travelers, but okay, yeah, every time I finished an episode of the Curse, they want me to watch Fellow Travelers.

It's amazing. And Jonathan Bailey is so cute. He kind of reminds me a Brad Brad. I love Brad.

I started watching some show actually on Netflix that I think you would like. It's called Oh my God, my Brother's the Walters or something.

Oh my gosh.

I've heard it was horrible, like painfully corny, so corny. But it's like the summery turned pretty, Yeah, but that was so corny. My life with the Walter Boys, Yeah, my life with the Walter Boys.

Yeah, I don't know. I barely got through summer. I turn pretty, Oh.

My gosh, And I love them.

I think those actors are so cute.

It's like the Love Triangle.

Yeah, I'm gone. I'm good with the one the Summer I tern pretty wow.

All right, no takers for that one? All right? Fine, but it wasn't I do know a lot of people were watching it. That's when I start because I was like, my Survivor neess is like getting out of control, Like it's actually like we burned through one season in two days.

I almost six you the other day because over the break, Allison and I got into the show and HGTV called why the heck did I buy this house? And it's hosted by a woman named Kim Wolf who Uh, they're doing some it's like the first season the show, and they're doing this thing with theyre walk around time. People are posing for pictures with her and Alison and I are like, this show hasn't air yet. White people are posing for pictures. She won Survivor in twenty twenty. Kim

Yeah, get me a picture. I saw the season There was.

A winner of Survivor that just came out.

D her name, first name is D. I don't know her last name.

No, I'm not talking about the most recent winner. I'm talking about Parvety parvity is how was saying your.

Name Harvedy Parverty came out?

Yeah, So I'm trying to find the I'm trying to find the episode.

That's the season I'm watching currently right now. So spoiler alert, spoiler alert. But it's like season I don't know what season. I don't know the seasons. I think it's like I don't know, but it's her first season she was ever on, but she came back and she was on the all star season that I'm like obsessed with. So we're just about to watch the finale of her season. And this is the first season that they had an all girl alliance. Make it to like final. I think four is all

Did you hear the past? We have that much passion from Danya year.

Yeah, No show has like rattled me like this, like I I'm talking strategy. We played Survivor with the kids for New Year's That was like on the day of, like the day before or New Year's Day, New Year's whatever. Uh. We were playing Survivor, but the four of us, me and Robbing and the kids, and we had to like vote each other out. Were like strategizing and we were playing. We were doing like wall sits for immunity challenges and

There is a Gypsy Rose Blantern special coming up on Lifetime that I am feaning for.

It might be out already. What's it coming up on?

It's on Lifetime. It's a docu series. She's still in prison. Yeah, she's like in prison.

To watch that too. I am so fascinated by her. I don't know why.

Well, it's the story is like devaz, it's crazy, it's so sad and people you watch the act, oh yeah, it's amazing. Yeah, But like I it's such a conflicting thing because I mean, she murdered her mother, you know in your view, Oh well, I mean that's not part.

Of her republic criminal trial.

But she was tortured. I mean, like what her mom did was like crazy, horrible type of abuse. Like I don't it's crazy. And and so there's this thing where you're like rooting for this girl because she she served her time, and it's horrible that it came down to what it came down to, but she's finally getting to have a life. She never had a life, and then she went to jail. She was like literally abuse, forced to be in a wheelchair.

No, I'm so fascinated by it too, Like I'm watching every step, Like she was at Burger King, she was having a doctor pepper.

She got I phone.

She's an influencer.

Yeah, it's pretty wild. She listened to Taylor Swift to get her through prison.

The year, the years that were in of social media.

So dystopian.

Let me. As soon as she stepped out of that prison, I was started manifesting Amy Sugar. If you're listening to this, I want her podcast so bad. I'm like yeah, I was waiting for a text saying can you go to Missouri?

Did you text Amy?

I have not texted her yet. I want I want to wait for this because it might already be in the works, that's all.

She's in Louisiana.

She's in Louisiana, Okay, but yeah.

It is because someone messages because I said, like celeb I posed like cheers in to Gypsy Rose getting out of prison, and she's like, this is so crazy this culture. She murdered her mom, and I'm like, but what are her mom? What about what her mom did to her? And she served her time like she you know.

I mean, in my opinion, there's not really time you can serve to make up for taking somebody else's life. But it is the while oldest story I have ever heard.

Like, but my argument is if someone did something abusive to me and my dad murdered that person out of just like pure rage for someone hurting me or doing something abusive to me, and then my dad served his time, I'd be like rooting for my dad if I you know what I'm saying, Like, it's never I can't imagine ever taking someone's life, but yeah, seeing someone that you love or like being tortured to a certain level forces people to do insane things.

It's like to see it through the lens of the TV show. I know the TV show was made based on the real life story, but I have to look at it through a lens of a TV show because when I think of it in real life, I can't I can't root for her, I can't be happy for her, like I can't do any of it. So in my mind, it's just like a TV show that I'm still watching, you know, just to like be able.

To desensitize yourself.

Correct. Yeah, well it's real.

Yeah, it's so crazy, and I'm excited to watch because the problem is there's a lot of fake accounts for her right now, so I can't tell him what it's real or not. And she posted some I think she said, I tried to watch the actor a story, a scripted thing, and she said it was a lot.

It was like really hard, but that could have been did you know, just to lighten the mood a little. That is where Joey King met her now husband making that show.

That's the guy in the movie.

No, I believe he was a producer or director or something behind the scenes.

She was amazing in that show.

I know, but imagine falling in love in the midst of doing that.

The Yeah yeah, yeah, it's a really crazy, sad story.

Yeah, but wow a great show.

Yeah. I wanted to write in with an email I becent Tania, this is Easton. I'm a big fan. We listened for a long time. Something happened over Christmas that I just thought was weird and I wanted your take on this. I have been going to a therapist for like three years and she's been great. Uh, I have not. I do the east Awards every year, which where everyone on everyone listens to show is probably familiar. They're on

No, it's a no for me, so that would make me. I only want my therapist to know what.

I tell her thank you. Yeah, that's where I was at. And she didn't say she didn't like text me. She's texted me before. She texted me some. I found out she's a She revealed she's a big fan of someone we do a podcast with, which felt weird to me and I like I because I was like, oh man, I'm like complaining, you know, not like you.

Know.

Yeah, And I found she was like a big fan and she's text me about that once before, but she did not text me about like like, oh, hey, I saw you were selling T shirts. I bought one, Like she didn't say that just I just got the email and I I packaged it up and send it off to her, and uh, my mind is just like going to a million places because I'm like, how, like is she gonna wear it around town? Like what's going on with? Like this is my client's like fake award show he does.

It's a hard no for me. Yeah, I don't. This is just me personally. I like that my therapist doesn't care, doesn't know I don't think she knows names. She knows I work in radio mornings, she knows I do a podcast. So she doesn't know the names of anything. She doesn't know any think about anything. And to my knowledge, she really doesn't know anything about anything, do you know what I mean? And I like it that way. I like

See I feel like it's almost like delusional to think that she doesn't know what you do. Really, therapist, and I know that someone I'm talking to is on a radio show, has a podcast, I'm hitting Google. Really yeah, but I'm nosy.

I always wonder like would they look up your clients on Instagram and stuff like that.

I invited his therapist to his concert, you know, like in LA he was like, shout out to my therapist for being in the audience tonight.

So yeah, but I think that like my vibe. Yeah, but I also know there styles.

But you're a public figure.

Yeah, but it's different, Like I'm not a public figure where like HER's styles walks outside and everybody knows who that is. I'm not that.

Yeah, but if someone listens to the Morning Show, or listens to podcasts, or like watches E in the Countdown, they know him.

Guarantee you that my therapist doesn't do any of those things.

You don't think she watched Ryan Seacrest New Year's Eve Show and tell.

You that she maybe that maybe, but everything else.

No, here's my thing. This is my argument, because I don't really care. I'm like, you can. If I'm talking to you, there's a chance that you can go. If you have any curiosity about me or what I do, you can just hit a Google and like or look me up on Instagram. Like it's just out there. It's public knowledge, and I trust that there's a client confidentiality, you know, agreement that like what I've come to you

Yeah I was, because I don't mind if she looks at my Instagram. Obviously I know, I like, you know, like, but I don't want to know about it.

There's been a deeps girl on your Instagram for.

Chance, and my therapist doesn't even know when I like talk to her about like, She's like, how do you like she doesn't know anything about stories? What is she going to start finish your sentences with? Like what you've been doing? You know what? I'm gonna live in my Delulu world because I like that. I like her not knowing anything.

You just saying there's a chance, regardless of if you believe it or not or acknowledge it or not, that your therapist knows who you are and what you do.

Okay, let's say she does know what I do. Know exactly where I work, the names of everything, knows everything, watches my instagra every single day. I like that she pretends that she doesn't. Yeah, great at least that I like that she pretends that she knows nothing about anything. I like that.

So she modered woman sweatshirt, you'd be like, what the.

Yeah?

Like?

And when I first started.

The only person in my life that I just want her to know nothing.

Maybe there's there's got to be a scrubbers out there who are therapists are working the you know, yeah.

Mental health or something. Yeah. When when I first started seeing her, she she told me like, if we see each other, because she's in the same town as me. It's like if we see each other at the grocery store, I won't say anything unless you do first, Like if you come up and say what, I cannot because that would be like mortifying to think about. Like I'm just like shopping. It's like, hey, how's it going. I'm his therapist, he comes to CB, he's cooker, you know, something like that.

But my therapist said the same thing to me.

I think that's like a a thing they teach you.

I think the same thing.

We should compare notes. But yeah, so like I wasn't like, oh, she was gonna, like, you know, get on Instagram or something and like post something weird. I'm not concerned about that, but the whole like I just couldn't stop thinking about, Like now, I was just picturing her at home at midnight on my Instagram going like I'm gonna buy a T shirt. It really sent me to a spiral. I have not seen her since, and I don't know, like I'm thinking about finding a new person.

You know, do you like, do you feel like connected? Like do you like her in terms of what before this.

This is give you my girls infoe she is she will pretend has no idea who you are.

The thing and if anyone else could relate to this. But like I she's great, she moved though she's far away. She's like an hour from me now, and I try to do the FaceTime thing. I really didn't like it because I have like, you know, I have to go sit in the car, you know, to get go to a private room the house. It feels weird. So I go in to see her and it's just like so far. But then the thought of meaning getting to find someone else and like get them up to speed.

I know, getting someone else up to speed.

Feels like we gotta drop in at season four. Now it's just like it's so much. I don't know. I like that feels daunting. Yeah, that's all I like don't want to do it. But then also like the you know, she's not like so good, like I'm gonna imagine yeah, like I you know, i'd say her like once a month. I don't go like that often.

Let me give you a my girl number.

I'll happily take it and my first session will be so I work with this person. Name is Tanya rad. She works at one or two.

She knows my last name to be honest. I bet she has no idea. She knows me. It's Tatiana Rode Savi Beach. Yeah, bye knows all she knows.

So is your question, do you acknowledge doth? Yeah?

Do I say something?

Do?

I just not go back to her? Like, am I right and feeling weird about I.

Think a therapist would say that you have an honest conversation, But me, personally, I would.

Just go yeah.

I think that's the healthiest thing to do. I'm just saying that's what I would do.

But if you're not a public figure, I still think it's weird. Like I, if I were not a public figure, I would still not want my therapist watching my Instagram.

Just me personally, I guess I just I share her that I haven't shared on Instagram. So whatever she sees on Instagram is like whatever, who cares?

It's not about that, It's not about that, It's about the access, Like, you know, I just want her to I want to focus in. I don't want her to be like, how was your dinner at pot J last night?

You know, like I want her to me to acknowledge it, but her seeing what you're doing isn't like it doesn't affect anything.

Whether you know or not. You know, different strokes different folks.

I think you could just say, hey, I got your order for the T shirt, like it made me feel like a little bit uncomfortable just because we haven't crossed like that person.

He cannot do that.

I'm telling you what therapist would say, you should have a conversation. But I also think if you know whatever feels safe for you, maybe you get the sure and bring it to her for your next.

I shipped it out. It's in the main. I think she has that already, like it's arrived, right, And I just wrote thanks for thanks. I wrote a little note, just just like everybody else, anyone else WoT I wrote them little note say thank you. But and I just said thank you, Cynthia. There you go. Wow, uh and uh. I guess if she listens to this, that'll be the big test. If she hears this podcast, only time will tell, Only time will tell.

And she writes in an anonymous email about what you do, Hey, beck in Tanya, I was trying to support a client of mine and he's being really weird about it.

That'd be so crazy insane, right, Well, thank you for the because I was that was good advice? But I thought it was good.

Two different perspectives. Yeah, don't think i'd care.

I thank your path carefully.

Or tru Lulu.

I love it.

I like my world. You come playing it today. She's blissful. She's blissful, solfully unaware.

Yeah all right, well, Happy New Year.

Everybody. Have any suggestions for a scrubbing and vision board. Please hit me up. Don't do the email because nobody's reading them right now. Please send it.

To me at Tanya rad on Instagram and I will cut out and I'll make a scrubbing and vision board that we will keep with us for the whole year and look back on it.

Put both of our words on there. So what was yours again? Completion and try And that's.

That, and that's that. We love you so much.

Love you by