Tenderfest

Check check you got check your mikes check check check check one two check check one two, check check.

One three, check check one three. Here we go scrubbing in with Beca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio Podcast.

Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.

Speaking of scrubbing in, Okay, I don't know if you notice anything different on my face today.

What you don't see that? Do it again? The pimple? Yes, uh huh.

The fact that you can see it from there is just go.

She literally lifted it and shine into the light. But I don't.

It's one of those undergrounders that hurt hell like they just hurt being there. It just hurts being there. I feel like I have something inside me and I know I shouldn't touch it. But what as doctor Tilly, Well, would you prescribe me this?

Don't touch it, keep it clean. I'd put a pimple patch on it. Really yeah, maybe it like sulfur mass, sulfur based mask so it can extract the stuff, But don't touch it. It'll create a wound.

All I want to do is touch it.

Well, I gotta say thank you for coming in today with such.

A huge You're welcome.

But those are the worst. Yeah, I had one on my forehead. Oh you saw it last week? Saw it? It was, And then I tried what you do with that? Honestly? Can I be honest?

You squeezed it?

No, well I had squeezed it when I saw you, so it was like it was unhappy. I said to myself, Becka, you know better than this. So I went home. I put a pimple patch on it. Didn't really do anything because I had basically created a wound. Yeah, I put neasporn on it and then a little band aid. Woke up the next day and it was like I would say, healed.

Okay, I'm gonna put neosporn on it to night with a band aid.

But I think you should try. I think there's stuff in there. Yeah, first I'll go at it. No, don't go on it. I'll put a neosporn band aid on it and not go at it.

Yeah.

I'll be very upset if I see you next and you have a wound. But I do recommend putting like a mask and then a pimble patch on there and going to sleep. The Hero Cosmetic ones all right, I do have paid partnership with them coming up, But I love those Wow. So do you hope them at your house? Yeah? I think I do. Actually, I might have one in my in my bag.

This is working out anyways, you've been busy.

Oh my gosh. This I was just saying, like booked and it was one of those weekends where it was so fun, like I had such a great weekend, but it was like not a RESTful weekend. It was like a fun go get them, go get them, you get them tigers. So did it start? Well, it started with Thursday's episode with Chelsea Cutler, which I loved her so fun.

Yeah, such a I just she was a great get. She has a really good energy.

Great she was so I just I was if she and Haley wrote a song together, I'd die.

By the way, I meant to ask you. So when she says something like that, like, oh, I want to do a song with Hailey, do you tell Hailey?

Well, she said, Actually, what Chelsea said was that she wanted Haley to direct a video, which I think is like, obviously, writing a song is a compliment, but Hailey shines as a director. So like her saying that I told Haley and She's like that is so kind, Like she was just like very flattered. So do you like make it happen? Do you wheel and deal? I'll do as much as I can, but I think I offer the I connect the dogs and then it's out of my hands. Yeah, okay,

Said she tried on ten dresses total. I'm like, that seems like a low number to me.

I'm telling you, it was just like so easy, so easy.

That's like nice to hear because everybody.

Jojo tried one just a few too, Like we went to a couple of different spots, but she didn't try on a ton.

Oh really, yeah, I felt I don't know why I envisioned so much chaos, and like so many people have been. I was asking people kind of like with wedding planning, where do you start? And so many women were saying, get your dress asap, and I was like that was not even on my mind, Like that was like that's on the back burner right now because I thought venue

I don't think. I think it's fun. That part to me feels well, you're so funny about like clothes and stuff. But she's like it's a little tight. It's like, no, it just fits, it's touching too much of my step.

According to K and B Bridles, they say most brides try on four to seven dresses and they don't recommend more than ten because it's just you're gonna start hating.

No.

Other sites say no more than ten to fifteen. So I would say ten is kind of right in the pocket. Maybe a little high.

Wow, that's so interesting, I guess. Also I was watching Alex Cooper. She was posting her wedding dress trounds and she had like it look like she was going through so many but maybe it's just a facade.

Yeah maybe. But also I think once you kind of feel like what shape you like, then you can kind of narrow it down because like you, she kind of tried on different shapes, like you know, the classic wedding gown, like a more fitted and then you kind of go like, Okay, I don't want that, or this is the vibe I want, you know. Yeah, but yeah, so that was really fun. And then Saturday we went to met Hailey Marla, who's one of her she's Hailey's best friend, but I've adopted

I'm like, it was just so hot this weekend too.

Yeah, and it was just like it's crowded. And then I like walk in the gates of Disney Street and I'm like, I made it. I'm here. Yeah, the most magical place on Earth.

I also love Disneyland around Halloween time.

This is my first time. Oh I've never been. It's so, did you go to the Haunted Mansion? No, well, we went by it. We saw it. It was like different.

I mean, it was the night before Christmas themed.

It's well, it was really cute on the outside. Yeah, so we it was really fun though. We went on the Okay, so I've been on the Star Wars Resistance ried have you been on it?

Yes?

Do you like Star Wars?

There's two of them. I was on one of them.

The other one Star Tours, one of them where you like walk out and you see all the white soldiers. Yeah, that one, I don't know. That's Rise of the Resistance.

I think a line for us.

Okay, that must be that one. It is crazy. But the first time we went on that, I was like, that was a really cool ride. But I don't I think I was expecting like a lot of I don't know movement and it was more just like experience. But this time I loved it. And I'm not even a Star Wars sad. Why did you love it so much? I'll be honest.

You were high, like there's no other right when right.

When we went on and I was like, this is the coolest thing ever. I got so paranoid because that the casts they're like mean to you. They're like, get hurry, you're moving too slow, like they're in character. But I didn't know, so I was like, they know I'm high, Like they're like yelling at me to move faster, and I was like I felt like I was moving fast enough. It was so crazy, but it was so fun.

Yeah, I was gonna say that ride is not not my cup of tea.

Yeah. Well, Hayley said she felt like she was in the movie so traditional, like I like a coaster. I love it. Okay. So then we go over to California Adventure and we go on the Incredit Coaster, Yeah, which is my favorite roller coaster of all time. I think it's like the best roller coaster. Yeah. And we get there and the line is you know where the bridges when you cross over from uh like where the food is, and you cross over the bridge, the line for the

I don't get scared on those big places like Disneyland and stuff, but like the little fairs around town. How many days has this been going because there's a little rickety and who.

Put it up? Yeah? Yeah, let me see their license. Yeah. So Disney was really fun, but my gosh, like, no matter what shoes you wear, your feet hurt. Yeah, but you were probably not in like oh really, yeah, I love them. I mean, like the cutest best shoes. They feel like clouds. But like, no matter how long you walk, I mean how it's just an abnormal amount of time on your feet to be on your feet, on your hoobs and a lot of just standing, you know. But

Yeah?

Because we're going to post it soon. But Haley and I took some Halloween photos in a iconic cost couple's costume. It's very good. You liked it. I loved it. I was very impressed with the photos. Yeah, to show you Mark, Will you guys go all out?

I remember your Grinch one, Yeah.

The best because it was a Christmas party, so it was so unexpected, Like I just thought I was walking into like cute dress party town. Right, she may come in waddling in like the Grinch and Martha May. One of my favorite videos of Becca is her like breathing with like the prosthetic nose, like flaring up and down.

It was so gross like it. It was such a weird thing because when I I couldn't breathe while I was eating, so I didn't want to eat because it was really hard. It was having to like mouth breathe, which I don't like to do period. But I did keep drinking, so the deadly combo of drinking and not eating really snuck up to me. Yeah, it tends to happen. Tends to happen. I saw videos the next day where I go, hmmm, don't remember that, mm hmm. But everyone thought I was a great time. Yeah, you were a

The people, right yeah, and keep the keep drink drinking, Yeah, I get it.

So yeah, we did that all yesterday and then here we are today. Wow.

I actually a lot of people messaged me because I went to a chicken tender festival yesterday and everybody was like, this is Becca's worst nightmare.

Yeah, I mean, like, did you have to inspect every piece of chicken you ate?

Nope, swallow a hole, just bid into, bid into it and chewed it up and swallowed it.

That's what I would do too. It sounds like a lot of fun the way you described it to me.

Yeah, so it was. And you know, so I was not gluten free yesterday. I went full gluttonous. But what they do is they have these like booths that are all set up from different different chicken tender places.

Where do they have this event? By the way, it's I.

Forget the name of the venue, but it's it's on It's on Santa Monica Boulevard. Oh, it's like it's an Yeah, And so they're like little booths and so you pay for like the entry, and you just you can take as many samples from however money you want, right, and they put them in like those little boats, and we took the kids and they love chicken tender, so they were like having the best time of their lives. But you go and you just try all these I sent you a text and you just didn't.

Know was in the middle of the Halloween Photer show.

I was really excited because I was like really into the Raisin Canes chicken tender and I think it's because it was in the sauce.

I was gonna ask you, so do you dip in sauces?

Yeah, so everybody has like their own sauce, yes, and in their sauce, well, Raisin Canes had it in like a cup like drinking cups, so they had the sauce in the bottom and then they put the chicken tender in it, so it was just kind of like floating in it.

It was so soggy. It wasn't soggy.

It was delicious. And then they had different like you know, like Asian inspired ones, and there was like a gumbo one and then Jones on third was there, which was like it had almost like a Chinese chicken salad to it.

It was so good. So who won? Who won best chicken tender? Uh? For you?

Oh?

For me?

It was Jones on third Wow.

Yeah, did raisin canes serve like fries and toast or anything?

No, it was just tender someplaces, but.

Like raising canes without the fries and toast is just canes. No, but let me tell you, the chicken tender was good, I know, but like the toast and the so post Malone did this whole opening for Raising Canes in Dallas. This's like crazy, like amazing raisin Canes restaurant Dallas. I was going to go, like when I went to Vegas. Oh,

But I will say so this morning I did not feel so good.

I mean I'd only need a whole day of chicken tenders. Yeah, I was not.

I was feeling my stomach was feeling not happy with me. This morning's feeling gluttonous. It was just not feeling good. And I don't get tummy aches, like I haven't had a tummy ache in a long time.

But did that result in anything if you know what I mean?

Oh, like diarrhea perhaps? No, No, just a lot of pain.

Okay, but you get past it.

I'm past it now. Yeah, thank you for asking.

Say it's gas pain. I don't know it was.

I was working out actually, and I like felt it and I was going to quit my workout, and I was like, you know what, it is, challenge you. It doesn't change you. So I'm going to stick to it. And I did and it went away.

All right. So that was yesterday this morning? No, no, no, but oh yeah yeah yeah the event. What else did you do over the weekend?

I mean, you know what's interesting? Time just flies. I can't tell you what I did this weekend.

But your realize today it's one month to Thanksgiving.

Today, it's one month to Thanksgiving today, Your birthday is in one week.

Christmas Eve is two months from tomorrow.

Christmas Eve is two months from tomorrow.

Yeah, time is going, it's flying.

I don't know what to do because I don't feel like I have enough hours in the day. But I'm really I'm really like fired up in like you, just in general in life. Right now, I feel like I'm firing at all cylinders. I'm feeling very in tune and aware and what's.

The word motivated?

Motivated, but also like getting it done efficient productive as some may say, I watched the Chiefs game.

You yep, wait, are you going to unalism productive?

I booked interviews with wedding planners.

Okay, that's a big deal.

Step one right, that's step one three interviews.

Did you find the one? No?

No, I have the interviews as we probably wants to be a part of them. So it's a little challenging with all of our schedules.

But doesn't challenge you.

It doesn't change It doesn't challenge you. It does not change you.

What is your criteria when you meet these people?

So I don't know. I'm like, I'm gonna say, you meet you with three people, you just take one.

Well, they're gonna be like, here's my thing in your bi Sure, you're just gonna have to go all personality.

I want somebody that's like very type A that knows like that can handle my energy and also is just very buttoned up. That's I guess what I'm looking for.

Button up. Okay, that's good.

Are their wedding planners that are not buttoned up? It seems like that's a question.

Yeah I would. I don't know.

I would think not.

But you should say, what would you rate yourself on a buttoned up scale?

Well, I'll say ten.

There you go, can't go wrong.

I think you'll know. I think it's like it's like in life, when you know you know. I think you'll know, you think?

So I do vibe and price.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's why Robbie's going to be there, because you can hit away. He can handle the logistical questions. And I'm going to be like, so you had a vision board for my wedding.

What's your favorite Taylor Swift album?

That's so good? You should be like, can you create a vision board into it to me?

Auditioned to me my wedding?

I don't know how it works? Want me? I got so many? Right? Yeah, talk it through.

Could you say, Disco, if you were to make a vision board for my wedding, what would be on it? Maybe that's a question.

Yeah, that's as I said it. I was like Damn, that was a good question.

Just so, what do you think of the Chiefs game?

So they won? Yeah, they did, they won, And you know, I found it interesting that people were not they're not so keen on the Brittany Mahomes friendship.

Yeah, I've noticed that too.

Why is that? I've seen that too, and I don't know why.

I don't know.

If again, I haven't looked into a deep dive. I haven't done a deep dive, but apparently there's some slanderous remarks that she's made in the Brittany's Mad Yeah, oh okay, I should look at that because she seems adorable.

And also since like high.

School, I know, oh her and her yeah yeah yeah really It's weird but reminded me of like when you're newly meeting your significant others wives, you know, like are their significant friends, Yeah, but when they're married, it's like a different level. Like I remember when I was meeting all Robbie's married friends and the very beginning, and I was like, it's intimidating.

You think TAS's intimidated? I think so. You don't imagine she feels a certain sense of power when she walks into a room. Really yes, but I do think that she must have. Yeah, but I do think I was gonna say I do think she tried, probably tries to like really make it feel like personable because she is so massive that she's probably like, I just want to be friends that are watching our significant others play. Yeah, we're chill, we're doing handshakes, We're like living our best life. Yeah.

She really gives her Yeah.

True, Yeah, it's a lot. But so was that what was that a game? Where was that?

It was at the Chief's Arrowhead Pond.

Ahead used to be in Orange County, Yes, but Erahead Stadiums in Kansas City. Yes, it was a home game for the Chiefs.

Yes. Oh why did I think it was like an overseas game? Is there something about an overseas game that she.

So she's going to be overseas on tour? Yeah, so he's going to come see her.

Oh that's the conversation that people are having. Yes, okay, yes, all right, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about.

You know, we could take a break.

And Okay, I think about that. Okay, we'll be right back. All right, we're back. So every year for my birthday, I like to do a trip somewhere with all my best friends. And it's fun because I don't like a lot of direct attention on me, but it makes it feel very like fun and like everyone like goes and is together and it's just like a fun time for everyone. But it's not like direct birthday attention. It's not I

Like and sweater weather? Sweat Yeah, I used to go to football games when it was you know, because I'm from Wisconsin. I don't know if I've mentioned that, but it's like zero for a good stretch. And so when when you go out to a football game and you're going to be outside for a long period of time, you wear like seven layers.

And I want to say, like when you ski, when you go ski, it's like in the twenties, right.

Anything when thirty, Yeah, but it can be over thirty. It's just you know, I.

Don't think i've ever seen eight I'm on ski.

Yeah, sing is tough.

Yeah, I was shocked. And it just happens to come like right when we're arriving. But we are going to go for the weekend. It's it's I'm really excited. Everyone's just gonna have to well we'll just be inside mostly. Tanya is not going.

Yeah, I tend to. She skips out on the birthday, the birthdays trip.

Yeah, she's been on.

Tend to do it when we're doing the show, right, I mean that's what you say, we're doing the morning show while you're on your birthday trip usually.

Right, Yeah.

I usually the thing is I always I always have to come by myself. So I'm always like the I always have to go by myself. So that's fine. And then but this one, I was like, I actually can make it because it was a different weekend than you usually do it, and usually working on that weekend.

It's normally your anniversary weekend.

That's why our anniversary weekend. But apparently we're not celebrating celebrating our anniversary this year, which is a whole other topic.

But have yet.

Yeah, we talked about that. He wants to celebrate the engage in the proposal. No, it's our wedding date. And I'm like, yeah, but we don't have a wedding date. Yeah, I think that this should be one last who were all?

I think you need one anniversary at all times, That's what I'm saying. So you got to do this one one more time, That's what I think.

Yes, But so our anniversary falls on Sunday's birthday, so I think we're gonna have a birthday party for Sunday.

Perfect.

Yeah, So anyways, but uh, where were we talking about?

Oh?

And then uh, Sunday, I have to be back Sunday by eleven. So I was like, I just feel like I have to like be the first, the last one in and the first one out. And it's a tricky situation because you're not close to the airport.

Yeah, we're a little bit of a drive. Yeah, so it's tough. You can my thirtieth though, that was your thirtieth. That was special. Yeah, but that was a big one. That was that was a big one.

Yeah, I feel like that was a lot of activities.

Oh we did a activity. Yeah, we did so much. We did like what do you call those things? The hair making things we did. We made like flower crowns.

We did like a boat excurgion, Yeah, like dinners like that was all.

That was literally vacation. Yeah, it was really fun. They're all really fun. But you've only been on that one, but normally there are. And then this year, like every year, for well not every year, the past two years, Ali and I have thrown a Halloween party at my house. And at first it was like, let's just do a

Was saying, it's funny because my friends are coming to me. Like Paulina was like talking about your Halloween party. Is like, I don't think she's doing it this year. She's like, what, That's what I was planning on doing.

Yeah. Sorry, like everyone, no one's getting dressed up this year because we're not doing the party.

Yeah, I have no Halloween. I have no costume.

You have to like, I have to do something. I have nothing, But y'all's past ones have been so good, him or Courtney and Travis and then Barbie.

Like you you good. I have kind of reputation to uphold.

Oh my gosh. But now, I mean now it's too late.

It's not a week.

It was on Prime right there for you. Okay, you can do this, all right. You can pull it off. Even if you could literally wear what you have and get a blonde wig. You know, could be Sandy and Danny from Greece. That's cute and easy. You're the one that I want. Yeah, that's cute.

It is cute. It is pretty cute, and he looks super handsome.

I can't see him in a blonde wig again. So he's got to do something with his dark hair because that was traumatizing everybody that week.

Was so gross, so bad.

In the way he'd like moved with this man. It was so creepy.

It was so creepy, I know, but I love that he gets into it.

Oh yeah, I will say one thing about Robbie. He's down. He's down for anything.

Yeah, he is down.

Okay. Oh, we were talking about I was going to try and do the transition in nice.

I missed it.

Speaking of Idaho being called conversations back, we were talking about ice baths. There's an ice bath dating or speed dating?

Is this in La last week and everyone's talking about cold plunges. Everyone's seeing the value in cold plunges. And now somebody tried this thing where you get into an ice bath with a potential partner and you have three minutes in the ice bath to get to know each other a little better and decide if you'd like to do it, like speed dating, but in a bathtub full of ice.

I just you know how we were talking about was Chelsea Cutler, how like you walk away from a conversation You're like, why did I say that? But I just know you put me in an ice bath and give me three minutes. I'm gonna be like, why did I bring that up?

See on its surface, on its face, it sounds like something that I would totally be into, like ice bath, yes, health wellness.

Yes.

There's nothing about an ice bath that I want on a first date.

Nothing.

I want alcohol involved, I want clothing involved, like I just nothing about that sounds like a comfortable first date to me.

Yeah, it's a very specific consumer.

So the first time you see the person, they're in a swimsuit. I mean, it's one step away from naked attraction, really close to that. But to Becket's point, I think it does take down your walls. You know, you're you know, you're hesitant to you're it's all gone. You're an ice bath. You're just talking like your your true self is coming out. Your inhibitions are gone.

Speaking of naked attraction, I watched it with Robbie. Oh what did you record it? You did? I have to find it.

The audio is like he was like, so I'm not watching this and he's like, I don't I'm not watching one?

Was it one where the woman was looking for a man or the man was looking for a woman.

The woman was looking for a man, and the guy had a wiener with an elephant.

Elephant classic. That was where we started to.

He was just like, I think we watched not even five minutes of it.

So as soon as they bring up the wall and reveal.

Okay, yeah, I'm out, no, thank you?

Did you say?

No?

Way? They switch it later and.

They should have like started with maybe. I think women are probably more like gasped a gasp by the men. I like this. I think that has an elephant tattoo and the penis is the trunk. Oh that's so real.

I don't like it, Jess.

Yeah, I'm just watching Instagram now.

Bluster response. Yeah, he like, we didn't even want to. I was like, who's just finished the episode? He's like, I don't want to watch it? Interesting? Yeah, he wasn't down for it. He is not down.

So I finished the episode myself.

And what are your thoughts on the show in general?

You know I didn't hate it, Okay, sure, I didn't hate it. I didn't see the razor bumps that you were speaking of. I don't think my TV is big enough. I didn't get that up close to you.

Oh yeah, like my yuah, really, I didn't notice it's beautiful.

Well that's okay, beautiful.

Yeah, you don't notice the bumps.

So I only watched that one. I didn't watch anything else.

Do you feel like you want to watch more? Because I feel like I didn't hate it, but I didn't feel like I needed to see anymore.

No, I don't feel like I need to.

I feel like I got the idea.

Yeah.

Yeah. Also, I feel like the dental care in England is a stereotype but also factual. They need better dental care in England.

Yeah, it is interesting. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Though it's like you see it in you're kind of it's like shock factor, and then you see two episodes maybe one each ender, yeah, and then you're kind of like, yeah, I'm done.

I'm good. Yeah.

Yeah, because there's not much depth past That's what I'm saying.

I almost wish that they, like, I think, an update on where Elephant Man and a spoiler alert fix the Elephant Man, like where are they now? You know? Did they work out? Are they dating? Like I would like a little bit more. I feel like it lacks depth.

I see, well, I'm sure when the mind when the US does their version of it, they'll go as a full rundown. Did you watch the reunion of that? By the way, I did. What do you think I've literally thought Stacy and Izzy we're going to be together? Me too.

I'm shocked.

I was like, this, they make so much sense to me. I was like, and even the way they were.

Like catching each other and they still want to be friends. She's like, oh, I want her to meet my girlfriend. I'm like, what are you doing? This is so weird. Something feels off. And then the fact that he dated Johnny again, I was like, this is getting.

I don't know if they dated though, I think they.

Just went on a date.

I saw each other out and talked like. I didn't feel like there.

Also, did I miss something that they all live in Houston.

That's how they always do the show. They all are from the same place.

I've missed that the first however, many seasons, because I was like, but they're all just romping around the same bars in Houston, Texas, Like this is so weird.

No, they're all like normally from one city. So weird.

I know. I'm over that show.

Wow, really next season? No thing?

Season six is a hard pass from tierrabye, you don't think that absence the time between now and then, we'll make you.

I can't watch.

I'm probably gonna watch it, but I don't know. I was very truned off this season me too, Like couples made it, and I also feel like the couple that made it, Milton and Lydia. They're like living separately right now, like one lives in Long Beach and one lives somewhere else. I'm like, what.

Yeah, I haven't really been into it since the first season. And I told you because the first season they were purist, they didn't know what they were getting into. It felt very genuine this I don't know. I'm turned off.

Yeah, that one island UK am I right out hard pass.

Yeah, you're done with the UK.

I was I ever never.

Well, they're doing like the Olympic games, Like they're doing the games where they bring back old contestants to do games.

Oh see, I'd be done for that.

Okay, that's coming in general, like the road rules, Yeah things. I don't know how intense it's going to be, but I'm so into it.

Okay, Well, we'll see stand by. Yeah, should we get into emails?

They're tough ones today.

Do we take a break and let's do that. Okay, we'll be back. All right, let's get into some emails.

Mark, all right, Becka, thank you very much. This first one is tough and hoteler Anonymous says, I've been married to my husband two years. We've been together eleven and a half years. That is some runway right there. Anyway, I had got feeling he was being sketchy and something was off, so I looked at his phone. He had the Whisper app open. This is an app where you can talk with people locally anonymously. You create posts that people can comment don and start to chat with you.

That's so painful, so hurtful to see that.

Because he's in person, he's going to say no, no, no, I didn't mean that. But what is when is a person being more honest when he's talking to you face to face or when he's posting anonymously on the internet. And I don't know the answer to that question.

Well, I think the fact that he's saying it at all is like, so especially after eleven and a half years, that's so sad.

I think this, to me feels like a great time to look into couple's therapy, to have someone help navigate and see if it's even worth like trying to out because my thought process is, like, you already saw these things that he said, these hurtful words, so he could like that's an out for him, right, for him to be like, you know what, I am having a really hard time, like I don't know if I want to be in this marriage, but instead he's going like, no, no, no, I want to make it right. So to me, it

Yeah, I think there's two things at play here. I feel like sometimes people stay in relationships like this because they fear being single or they fear starting over again with somebody else.

And I think if.

That's your fear, then you shouldn't. You should step out of that fear because I think you can find somebody that you can trust and it's going to be even better than you even imagined. But if you want to if that's not the case, then you really just want to make this relationship work. I think that you can. It just depends on you, really, you know, Like I had a girlfriend whose husband cheated on her and all of her friends were just like divorce, divorce, get out,

Feeling better, like I tried everything.

Yeah, So I think you can take that approach, just try and the worst thing that can happen is like it doesn't work and you can't get past it.

Yeah, I'm with you, though. I think I think that if you're fearful, because and a half years is a long time with someone, and I think there's that fear of like comfort, stepping out of the comfort, the safety of like being with someone, but he's kind of broken that safety that you felt with him. So I think if that's your fear, then it's important to like sort that out because that's not a reason to stay with someone and be miserable.

Yeah, there's two unknowns. One is the mental health issues. We don't know much about that. You know more than we do, so maybe that's a factor in his behavior. So that's something to consider. Two is why why does a guy posts that on an anonymous site just for attention, just to get conversations started, just to meet new people.

Yeah, no, I'm regardless of what you decide. I'm really sorry that you are navigating having to navigate this and that you saw such hurtful things and feel the betrayal that you I imagine you're feeling very hard.

Brenda says, I am a Day one listener. How about that for Brenda left here for.

We love you for.

That first time emailing love you all so much. Looking for advice on post breakup social media stuff. So I'm going to summarize this as best I can. A separated from my partner ten months ago after a ten year relationship, but she's good, right thing to do, much happier now. We have two daughters, ages five and eight. They're the best Our co parenting is great. All is good. Question what do I do with Instagram and Facebook posts with him in them? It feels weird to delete them because

I don't know about that.

I'm telling you, I'm a guy. He's a guy. We don't think that way. It would never even occur to him.

But if he met another woman and she was like, can you take those off?

She might bring that up and then he might respond yeah, but that will be the first time he considers taking them down.

I don't know about that.

I'm a guy.

I think Robert took all our foots, like a lot of our foot well, like I think both like I archived all my photos of Robert. I didn't delete them because they were like good memories, so I didn't want them to be like gone forever.

Side note, we'll get back to this. How do you what is an archive? And where do you find it? You just go to your archive, but no, I can't see your archive. You can just see your archive Oh okay, okay, yeah, okay, but.

It just like takes away the sting of like deleting something forever. And so I think you archive them. And if if you're if you're like, oh, if you have a good relationship with him, and I don't think he'd ask you about him, But if he did not going to ask you about that, I think it's time for you to give yourself permission to move on. And I think if you archive them, you don't feel the like permanent feeling of deleting them forever. Can you archive on Facebook?

Wait, so like the single that single person, the single version of that person has her own Instagram.

And then her married version lives on. I just think she wanted a fresh start that didn't have all her old stuff on it, and so I think the other one was like private or something, so she just started a new one. I think maybe she archived the whole thing and just started a fresh, new page.

I don't know, there's like a whole there's like a whole page of like her married life.

That's just like living on the internet. It's kind it's very I don't.

Know her name, so I just make one up. There's about Wilhelmina two point zero, you know.

Yeah, Wilhelmina.

Yeah, that is interesting.

Relaunching life.

I think the thing is too there's no rush, Like I don't you know, you said you're I don't know if you're dating or if you're not. I just feel like there's no rush to do it. So if you feel uncomfortable, just wait. But I do think once you get into a new relationship, like I remember when I started dating Robbie, if I saw photos of his ex on his Instagram, that would have been so weird, you

Weird if you start dating again, well, yeah, I think she's kind of like wanting to enter that phase.

So I think I think archive, delete, move on, move forward.

But we also think you can like archive ones that maybe feel very intimate with you and good x, and then keep the ones if it's just a family photo because y'all are going to interact. I think it's like you have this family unit that you were for a long time, so that's that might give them an idea of what they're getting into before. But if it's like an intimate photo of like you and your husband X husband kissing or something, and it's like you know, yeah, but also.

Guy, like I said, guys think differently about this. If he goes a deep die on your Instagram and he sees you and your husband your ex husband in a photo and it says eighty seven weeks ago, he's going to understand what's going on here, so you're not cheating on him. Obviously that was over almost two years.

Ago, right, So my opinion is either archive some of them, keep some others up, or just archive them all and don't feel like you have to permanently delete them because you can bring those babies back if you want, can want to archive them, you can unarchive them.

Yeah, unarchive Yeah.

If you give Tanya Lesson in that, Yeah.

I'm gonna have that. Yeah.

I'm not archiveorial after this. I have not archived anything, but people always talk about it. I'm like, what is this archive?

I also wanted to shout out Abby and Kim because Abby is Abaca and Kim is a Tania. This is a friend of a friend and they're Bagel listeners of the podcast. It was her birthday, like October fifth. Kim's birthday was October fifth. So we love you Abby and Kim. We love you Abby and Kim. Happy belated Kim. Thank you for being scrubbers. Yes, and that's all for this week. You guys, I'll be in the cold shivering.

I'm gonna be missing you. And but next week we're gonna celebrate your birthday right here.

Next week, my birthday will be our next podcast recording, lucky me.

Do you have any requests or what your birthday podcast?

No? Like, would you like some cake? No? Just to show up and record and would you make any attention on it?

And we want nothing, nothing, just another Monday, just manic Monday.

I wish you were Sunday. You want nothing? Yeah, no, that's all all right. We love you so much. I love you so much.

By