Tanya’s Tornado

Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.

Hello everybody, We are scrubbing in from Afar.

Mub from my far.

My favorite Tanya's least favorite thing in the world is doing a podcast via Zoom, and that's what we're doing today.

I'm so adamant about not having guests on Zoom, so the fact that we're on Zoom just shatters my heart into a million pieces.

Yeah, I can't say I feel the same. I don't know that my heart is shattered into a million pieces. But we don't do it often. In fact, we very rarely do it since we've been you know, released back into the wild. But today we're doing it and easton Marker and studio together. Tanya's at her home, I met my home, and it's gonna be a wonderful podcast because there's a lot to catch up on and talk about.

Well, I will tell you I was a little freaked out because when I heard Hurricane Hillary, I was like, I've never experienced a hurricane. My mind went to a million places, and I thought I'd be working from home on Monday, you know, like my first day back at work, right, But as the hours progressed, and the hours went on and on. I feel like it reduced from like hurricane to tropical storm and then it was literally just like rain.

It's some wind.

Listen. I will always choose the path of being overprepared as opposed to underprepared if I have the option. However, I have never felt sillier than I did draining my bathtubs yesterday, Staring at my rope that I put on across my ficus trees to keep them sturdy from the wind that did not blow, Looking at my portable charters that were overly charged, my ice chest that had ice in it, like I have never and like being from those celt You're in your bathtubs for no, you're supposed to.

Here's the thing, I feel like it was really scary for a moment. I've never experienced a hurricane, so I didn't know what to expect, and I was telling Robbie, I'm like, should we be preparing like and I think Saturday. He was a little skee like scared of it too, because he can saying, I think you should go to the grocery store. I feel like it's gonna be like everything's gonna be picked over, everybody's gonna be stocking up, and I'm like.

It's two days. Yeah, well everything did get picked over. The shelves were empty. Yeah. I wish there was video, like actual video footage of me and Haley prepping for this storm this ray.

And then like I kept seeing people on Instagram prepping for the storm, like draining their gutters and like we're not like clearing out their gutters, and so then I'm like, I start panicking about ours. I'm like, have we cleared our gutters? Have I cleared the ones that I'm like thinking about all the gutters space that I have everywhere, and like.

I have my basketball goal. So we were like putting water in the base of the basketball goal so it didn't get taken by the wind and rolling the ping pong table into the garage like we were just like we were prepared for anything and everything.

Well, I mean it was a bad storm. I mean we shouldn't be if we shouldn't minimize the fact that people on the news right now floating in cars down rivers and stuff like that, and mud slides and trees on houses, like it was a bad storm, and it was an August storm, which never happened in southern California. So I guess maybe we overreacted a bit, But I don't think that this was a letdown. And then this is pretty much as advertised.

No, Like I don't feel left down at all. I'm so grateful. I just felt silly because I was like I was prepared for an out. Well then all of a sudden, we.

Didn't go into a bunker, Like I really had no idea what to expect, Like I'm not again, I do. It was there's a lot of stuff that has gone wrong, a lot of mud slides and a lot of trees and a lot of damage was done. But I was really expecting a hurricane like I saw on twister.

Well that's a tornado. Yeah, so so yeah, that was very much Yeah, not really good would so yeah, but my parents live in Florida. So my mom's calling me and she's like, make sure you have want you know, She's like, because you just like in Florida, they never know, no one knows how bad it's going to be. They just have the prediction of what they can do, so they I felt grateful that that we were getting overly prepared because like they didn't know exactly what was going

If I will say, though, this is so weird for California. I've never experienced a tropical storm in LA in my life like that. This felt like I was in a different country.

Well, it was historical, it hasn't happened.

And right though, I mean, Mark, you've lived here forever and I've never experienced like humid hot rod like that.

I took the dogs out yesterday morning because I wanted to get them walked before the rain started, and it was weird. It was, yeah, it was muggy and hot. It is very not Southern California weather. This weekend. It was very strange.

Yeah, so that's concerning to me.

Yeah, but I do I hope that everyone who has been affected by any of the flooding, because our roads and systems are not made for any sort of rainfall. So hopefully everyone's safe. And I'm just glad it wasn't worse. But yeah, it was a lot of prepping for a lot of a whole lot of eating my snacks on the couch. Yeah, exactly.

You know, it was necessary for me yesterday to be honest.

Yeah, how was your trip? You went to Mexico?

Yeah, the trip was amazing. I like really did a good job of like disconnecting. So we went to Mexico with Robbie's family for his mom's birthday. It was like a big birthday for her. Robbie has a brother, so she took like us, Russ, Robbie and the kids and then his brother and his whole family, and so we basically stayed in like a house together and it was

Wait, the sun's not hot enough to just dry dry you off.

No, because it was like wet.

It was kind of like this tropical the tropical storm that we had here. It was like the weather in Mexico. It was like very very like human moist. Like you would even put like I would put my bathing suits out to dry in the sun, and it would take so long because it was like moist.

So how many times did you change one day?

I think I tried.

I have wore like six bathing suits.

Yeah, because of.

This, Because of this issue, I cannot sit in a wet bathing suit, So I know I have to, like I know, I always have two on me at least at all times.

Why aren't you the Princess of traveling light?

Yeah, that's basically all I packed was just like bathing suits and cover ups whoa, whoa, and my crocs.

Yeah. Yeah. I just would love to have like an actual in depth conversation with Robby and go did you ever see this life for yourself? The Matching family merch and crocs, which I feel like he really leans in, Like I feel like he loves it. Like I don't feel like he's just doing it to please you, Like I feel like he loves it. But I wonder if he ever saw that for himself.

That's a great question.

Honestly, I do feel like he leans in and I do feel like he likes it, you know, the matching merch less So I think the crocs really stemmed from the kids getting them, you know what I mean. Like the kids got them first for camp and then they were like so obsessed with them, and he was like, I think we should all get them. And I was like, I'm in, give me some fun gibbets and I'm in, yeah.

But the you won't not even believe.

One night when we were on our vacation, we did vision boards altogether, the whole fam, the whole fam, kids and all you.

Did you have that conversation backer with the entire family. Did you ever envision this to be your life?

I just need to know, Like I just want to I feel like everyone loves it. Like the vibe I get from from all of them is that you have brought something that maybe they never expected, but they love. That's how I feel about it.

I do think that his sister in law, so his brother's wife, is very much on the same vibe as me, Like she has a Word of the Year, like she does all this kind of stuff. So I think it's her, you know, like she's heavily into this as well. So I don't think it's coming out of left field.

Okay, so there's another like you in the family exactly.

There's another go in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How are the family photos? They were great.

I was a little dark, there was one angle where things got a little dark for me, but you know, doesn't matter.

It just it's the memories.

Nothing nothing worse than getting the family photos back and knowing that's the one everyone's gonna use and being like, dang, not my.

Best, not my best. But you know, it's all right, it's all good. It's the it's the memories, you know.

Yeah, the vins.

Yeah. But it was a great trip.

I had a really good time to put my phone away, and then I came back and I had like some sickness that pertained to my stomach, and that was very unpleasant for a good forty eight hours.

It's so interesting.

Because you had the same thing.

Because I woke up on Friday feeling horrible, and I like, I will I refuse to throw up, like I will avoid it at all costs, like it has to be coming against my will for me to do it, Like I would rather just wait it out and be nauseous, which I don't know if that's the right thing. Anyways, I woke up and it was it was both both ends. It was it was not good. So I was like, I thought it was food poisoning. And then you said

Time in tandem, and nothing, like nothing feels together like being in that moment. And I'm like, I'm very anti at taking amodium because I feel like, obviously there's a virus or something in you that needs to come out. So I don't want to stop it from coming, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I am with you on that. I felt like the feeling that I felt was that something is clearly not happy in my body and needs to come out. So I just need to like flush it out and let it do its thing. So I was like chugging electro electro lit or whatever it's like, pedialyte I was. Haley brought those to me and I was just like guzzling them trying to get well. I needed something in my stomach to stay hydrated. So yeah, I know that we have talked because Victoria Brown filled in and we

First of all, I got some very nice questions on Facebook from the Facebook group people saying we wouldn't know what happened with your daughters, and it's very sweet, very kind, that anyone would ever think anything about me ever, So it's very sweet. I had. So I got three tickets from the radio station through the record label, so those were like VIP tickets. And then, of course, remember my youngest god asked to go with her friend's family. I

Wasn't there another daughter that was involved.

Yeah, yes, her friend's sister sat with us in the four seats. She wasn't as big as swifty as the younger kids, so it worked out fine. My wife, who is a saint, spent such a good percentage of that show in line for merch because she will do anything for her daughters. It was very It was very you know, inspiring from a parental standpoint, but I did feel bad

Did she make anything from nineteen eighty nine?

She got Therefore, I think she made it back from maybe wildest dreams. Yeah, and most of nineteen eighty nine she missed. Yeah, shake it off. She definitely missed. But my daughter's got that show. That was the Monday Night show. We got Dress and Exile as our surprise songs, and oh my gosh, of course my kids took videos of themselves reacting to that because that's what gen Z does. And oh my gosh, they scream when Dress came on, and they screamed when Exile came on. It was very

I was.

I was a reputation, all wow on their pants and I would have gone like eyeliner and stuff, but they don't want me to do that. You know, there's a line. There's a line, ye, yeah, yeah, right.

I love those videos of people that film themselves oh me too, because like you see the like the the questioning in their head, like what song is this song?

And then like no matter what it is.

Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry that Eastern that did not get enough credit. What you just said. It took me a second, but like once I got it, I was like, we got to revisit. That was really good.

What did he say?

Because the Mark goes, I was gonna go anywhere eyeliner, but you know, I guess there's a line, and Easton goes and it's not going on your eyes. Thank you, Tony's processing because like the eye liner, you know the line he said, there's a line and he goes, yeah, it's not going on your eyes.

Oh, because Mark said he was going to put the makeup on.

Huh, there's a metaphorical line you don't cross when you are dressing up for reputation.

See this is These are the jokes I don't understand when I'm not in the studio.

That's what it is.

Yeah.

The whole first part of the show is how the store was not a big deal and yet no one came into work today. It's really it's kind of funny. Anyway, they Tanya did come in Tanya was here at like quarter to five.

Yeah, I like pulled branches out of my way to get to work this morning.

I was doing doing some things out there on the road.

Here here's the audio of my daughter's screaming. That's when Exile.

Started on the Facebook group Exile was But honestly all hadn't made. I was pretty envious of both Exile and Dress, so that was a pretty good we were.

Sorry, that's okay, but that's what you want. That's like a status thing with Swifties, like, oh, we got dress in Exile at our show.

I know. It's so sick because like there's it's just like me just being able to go there is like such a privilege, and that it's like what songs did you get?

Yeah? But the genius, the genius of this tour. And also it's just kind of like, you know the way tours are now. You know, when we were younger, we go to a concert, you wouldn't know what the next song was. Right nowadays, they know what the next song is, and we would think from our perspective, like, oh, that's lame. You already know what the songs are going to be. But that's so not what happens. You know, social media hypesed bigger and bigger, and that's when you get stuff

Yeah.

I actually saw somebody that went to the Jonas Brothers show and said that they sang like some crazy number of songs too, like fifty or something, but they only did like snippets.

They adn't be like the whole every song, right.

Yeah, it was amazing. I like miss it sometimes, Like sometimes I think about it. I'm like, I just kind of miss the show.

That we're gonna get a documentary.

I'm gonna watch. Do you know how often I watch Miss Americana and The Reputation.

Three Nights Ago.

It's a comfort movie for me.

Both of those I watched the Pond, the what do they call the long Pond session on politics, the Disney plus the for folklore, because you know I'm a wing.

I love my folklore.

Yeah, your a wing. Yeah, I would love an evermore long palm session.

I would too, I would love it.

Just putting it out there, tailor.

Did any of you suffer from the amnesia they were saying that people were having after the Airs tour.

No, I didn't suffer from that, but I was bummed. I didn't wear diaper. We know that I was upset, but I didn't follow that tip I recommend.

I mean, it's still going around. What I did was I learned this from my father in law. It's called nothing in, nothing out. So about noon on the day of the show, I stopped consuming all things so that there was no danger.

I thought this was some mental thing, having to go to the.

Bathroom during that show, And it worked out. I didn't have to go to the bathroom in the show, and I go to the bathroom.

A lot that filthy hydrant where it.

Was it was for that day, I have recovered.

Weren't too hungry.

Yeah, sure, And then when it was over, I eight it was been worked up.

I gave up your comfort for I'd rather just wear a diaper.

Honestly, I really.

Just maybe go to the restroom during a song.

That was such a bummer.

Yeah, enchanted. It actually is very disappointing. Okay, should we take a break.

Okay, because I have to tell you my new obsession.

Oh please, that's perfect. Let's take a break and we'll be right back. We're back. I was like, what is she holding on to and sniffing right now? Sonny my dog's face.

I have to have her in my lap otherwise she's going to bark and make noise.

On the zoom video, looked like you were eating like a pita pocket or something. I was like, it looks good, and it's.

A dollar she's really going in for that.

I need to share with you my latest obsession, and I need to know if anybody here is obsessed as well, because this is not something new, but it is new to my life. And I'm now currently involved with two different seasons of this show, and it is Survivor.

I we have not gotten into Survivor, but we're not opposed to it. But I am shocked to hear this.

I am shocked myself. I've never once even wanted to watch that show, Like, never wanted even sound a pan.

I've mentioned before, and you've turned up your nose, like, yeah, I think I've witnessed it.

Yeah, Like why would I watch that?

You're yeah, oh oh, David.

No.

So one of the kids was watching it the other day and I was working on my computer on the couch and so it was like on the background and I don't really care what they watched because I'm working. Right, So he's watching one of the seasons of Survivors on Netflix. It was like old school, and I find myself being totally tickled.

By it, like I was glued to the TV. Yeah, there you go.

And so it kind of we all kind of started getting into it, and it kind of became like our new family show, Like we have shows that we watched together at night before we go to sleep, right.

Yeah.

So the kids left yesterday or the day before to go to their mom's house, and I literally turned to Robbie and I'm like, I want to watch more Survivor, and he was like, we can't watch the season, Like we can't watch without them.

Yeah.

So I started a new one, a whole new season for just the two of us.

So now I've invested in two different seasons and I'm obsessed. I want to, like I want to be a Survivor contestant for Halloween.

I'm like so obsessed with the show.

Wow, A specific one.

A generic one, like my own spin on it.

Yeah, I think that this is the gateway into you being an amazing race viewer.

So interesting that you bring that up because Robbie, when we were watching Survivor with the kids, he'd put on amazing race for the two of us, and I wasn't really catching.

Okay, quite as good as Survivor.

Well I do disagree with that, but but you do love Special Forces, so you kind of like the rough and tough, like like grittiness of it. Huh.

Yeah, I think I like imagine myself in there because I'm like, with my uti situation, i could never be on Survivor, Like I would constantly be like having to change my bottoms.

Yeah, they would not get they would be like no, and your swimsuit might not dry properly, so that would be a real problem for you, real problem, and then someone might like steal it. You're dry ones one of the other teams.

Right right, Like I'm like the the just from a ug I perspective, I can't do it, and then seeing all the bug bites that they get, I'm like, oh my gosh, they get eaten.

A live out there.

Plus you love being naked. You could be like Richard Hatch in season one, just walking around naked and annoying everyone.

I dabbled into Naked and Afraid the show Naked.

Dabbled you like that show.

I love that show. I have watched it so many times. I am obsessed with they get in Afraid. It's so good.

That one didn't tickle me as much as Survivor. So, Becka, will you watch it? Will you watch Survivor?

Yeah, I'm done to watch Survivor. Heley and I love like We've tried to watch a few seasons, but we we didn't like it as much as Amazing Grace. So what season real? Maybe you tell us what season you're watching and we can't.

Oh, I don't know.

Off the top of my head, I'll find on Netflix. There's only two seasons on Netflix, so it's one of the two. Oh, okay, so that's the old one that we're watching. And then we just found out that they have all of them on one of the news streamings.

Paramount Plus. So my wife and I are very in The Survivor and have been since its inception in the summer of two thousand. We got really sucked in that summer. We've watched ever since. We're way behind now because of life. We're on season forty two, so you know, we're not that far off, because I think forty five is about to start.

Yeah, for season forty five.

That is so crazy that there's that many seasons. It's crazy, I mean having a TV show have that. I mean, you know, it makes sense that, like, once you find a formula that works, you can just do it over and over and over again, same thing. It's like even The Bachelor. Sometimes it feels very tired because it feels I don't know, you know, it feels a little different now, but it's as long as there's the same formula and they recast it with like the right characters, It's just it works.

I will say, watching the old season and this new one back to back, it is interesting to see the difference, Like you totally and they like come up with new little spins and stuff, but I'm not quite sure what they mean. I'm like, what the heck does that mean? But I'm learning and I'm so into it.

So randomly Netflix has season eighteen and season thirty two. I don't understand how these things work. I don't know why those two seasons would be on Netflix. Seems very random to me.

We're probably eighteen then.

Token sheens okay or co wrong. One is token sheens and one is co wrong.

I don't even know what that means. Okay, fair enough, but I'm thinking it's eighteen.

Okay, Well, I think it's great. Welcome, Tanya, Welcome.

Yeah. This feels like you're you've really turned a new leaf with your You've really opened your mind to watching shows that you would never have watched before.

It's so true. It's so true.

Speaking of shows, and I talked about this last week on the podcast, but you are Charlotte from Sex and the City like it's it was. There was one episode where like every scene that Charlotte was in, I was like, you could that could be Tanya, And I wouldn't even blink and eye if she said that, Like, what's what were the things that we were specifically talking about? It was, oh, okay.

Yeah that does feel very mean.

Yeah, but did you finished catching up on Summer Y Term? Pretty?

Oh?

I've been so on TV because I was also like a little bit sick the week before I left, and so I've just been watching a lot of TV. I caught up on you. I caught up on Summer Return, Pretty. I caught up on Only Murders in the Building. I mean, I'm like, what else you got for me?

You watch you?

Yeah? You don't watch you?

No? What's so creepy?

It's so creepy, but it's so good.

Yeah. I think I live in way too paranoid of a state of mind to watch a show like that.

Yeah, it is quite it is quite scary.

Okay, but you're you're caught up on Summer Return, Pretty? You watch the finale?

Yeah, it's over it's over.

What are your what were your thoughts on this season?

If I get one more DM from somebody telling me that Connie for life.

I can't do it anymore.

Also, didn't read the books. Everybody keeps saying if you read the books. I'm like, I'm watching the show. I haven't read the books.

I know everyone. I got a lot of that too. I will say the music selection, whoever's doing the music, they know how, they're massive, swifty. But also I don't even necessarily know if I was like, I don't know

Right, And also so did Jeremiah. He also lost his mom a month ago.

Right that he also lost his mom.

Although I think that the show glazes over that. I feel like, for some reason, they say in the book they really dig in to that a little bit more, and I feel like we're not really getting that with the TV show.

With the with Susanna passing away, Yeah, yeah, that bugged me because it feels so it feels like such a story arc of the whole series was Susannah and what she meant to all the kids and how that was like the source of their upbringing and like why the house meant so much, and I feel like they just kind of glaze over it sometimes. But then I will say when Jeremiah and Belly at the very end and Exo by Beyonce started playing, I had been full chills. I was like, oh, I forgot about how good this

And and they played oh bigger than the Whole Sky.

During the Whole Sky, that was emotional. But I saw something.

And snow on the beach an invisible string like this was It's like Taylor Haven.

Yeah, it's a Taylor Haven of Taylor. But someone was like, I'm so annoyed that Jeremiah went to the volleyball camp, like, ew, why is he going? Like just go? And then someone was like, yeah, but if Conrad did it, I'd be like, Oh, Conrad's so supportive, he's such a good by. And then the last thing I'll say about it, I felt so annoyed slash like confused why they ended it with this weird volleyball montage too. It's like it ends on belly

Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong, I obviously watched it, but I don't have high hopes for season three.

I do have high hopes for season three, so I hope they come through. But you know what else I realized, I think I watched season one more as a binge as opposed to waiting weekly, and I think that made a difference for that show, because it was like, you wait a whole week, and then if the episode was disappointing, you're like, oh, you know, that felt like a letdown. As opposed to binging it you're like, all right on to the next one.

Oh yeah, I binged it still the same effect?

Oh okay, I wuch Hannah would chime in because she is a summary term pretty fanatic. I agree, I prefer binging.

I wish that I didn't watch it every single week in that I waited until it was all out so I could have binged it. But if Tanya's saying it's the same effect, then I don't know.

Hanna was like a very strong Conrad. He was everything And now, how do you feel?

At the beginning of season two, I was kind of leaning towards team Jair, but then the last episode, I'm back on Team Conrad and I'm just really annoyed that they ended with the volleyball I don't care about the volleyball storyline. It was really irritating.

I texted Anna and I go, I just know you would have the ax so bad with Steven Bella's brother.

Physical cringe every time he came on the screen.

He is my least favorite character, respectfully. I hate him.

I feel like Moore Taylor.

Yeah, it was just if they're like, I actually think they're cute, Like I felt like they had chemistry, but I just felt like there was there was a lot more of them than I think I cared to watch or know about it.

It was a lot of that this season.

Yeah, I do want to brought it what I gather from you. And maybe this is something that goes deeper than Summer I Turned Pretty. Is that you like to focus on someone who is hurting or needs to be fixed and needs support. But once they feel stable and ready to command your team anyone else, then I say bye bye. I've done my work here. Yeah. I like to fix people. It's an issue. It's an issue, all right, And that goes even into your Summer I Turned Pretty fandom. Yeah right, Okay, we.

Are going bak that Jeremiah only liked Belly when the summer she turned pretty.

Yeah, everyone says he only likes Belly when she got pretty or whatever that I guess grew up. And that con Conrad has loved like always loved her like through all her phases. So we're gonna take a break and we will be right back with emails. All right, we are back, Mark, are you ready to take it away on the emails?

Well, it would be my pleasure. This is from Elena, she says, on the heels of you both attending the Eras tour, I have a thought provoking tailor question for you. What are three songs of hers that could have lived in a different era than it was released? For example, I know places from that ten eighty nine could have been on reputation and no one will beat and I this is funny because my daughter and her friend were talking about this in the car yesterday. They were saying,

See. I felt like New Year's Day was the perfect inter reputation because it was like so gentle and soft, as if like this is what y'all see, This is my reputation, but this is who I am. So but I get what they're saying. I would like to say, maybe Cruel Summer could have been nineteen eighty nine.

True, Oh yeah, I forget that's on Lover. I also feel like the Last Great American Dynasty could have been on Lover.

Mm hmmmmm.

No, I don't know.

I don't know if I I see that so much as that like.

Folklore, like Mad Woman, like Epiphany, like My Tears, Ricochet.

No, I'm saying no, I don't disagree that it could be on another album. I just don't know if it would be Love Lover.

What about Invisible String?

Invisible String could have been a no Invisible Strings, so folklore, it's so full courts in a good ways hard. I'm just thinking of the songs that I love that I'm like, oh, it's hard because all her old music, like Red Speak now, all of those feel like they belong in that. And then when she switched to pop like in nineteen eighty nine, then like all of those from nineteen eighty nine, I feel like those could be like kind of interchangeable.

Maybe snow on the beach or.

What what about it you have to pick a different era, could be Lover?

Okay, are you only focusing on what could be on Lover or like that.

I've been really listening to Lover a lot lately.

Because like I could see, I could see like a.

Karma on reputation.

Oh that was another one. They said, They said bad Blood should have been a reputation. M That makes some sense to me.

Okay, yeah, yeah, I get that. I was also thinking we're never getting back together, but as like more of a like like putting that on reputation but with a different not the country.

Sound on reputation or laborate.

What about Labyrinth on nineteen eighty nine?

Were Labyrinth on nineteen eighty nine?

Yeah that was an original idea.

Yeah, good, first time ever hearing that well in a gelante's own reputation.

Yeah for sure.

Yeah, yeah, Yeah, that's fun. I like that game.

Yeah, it's good.

Think more about that, all right.

This is from Campbell. Oh, Campbell's going through a trigger event, so switching gears. She'll try to keep it brief here. My boyfriend and I have been dating about six months. Fell really hard for each other, but in a healthy grown up relationship. Boy, I'm thirty one, he's twenty eight, not a whirlwind romance that would fizzle out. We knew we loved each other early on, but held on, held off saying it for a couple of months. It's been

Yeah, that's a really great name. I love that name. I'm really sorry you're going through through this. I I feel like Tanya will have a better answer as far as like how to get through the trigger event aspect

Uh yeah, I am very sorry that you're going through this, And honestly, I don't even know if my advice is the best or the most healthy, because, uh I when I went through my trigger event, I never felt like it was over. Like I felt like everybody would ask me, like what happened, and I'm like, I don't understand, because I'm supposed to be with this guy.

Like I know, I'm supposed to be with this guy.

I never really understood it because I think at the end of the day, I didn't. I can't fully appreciate where he was coming from because I've never experienced that before and I don't have kids of my own, you know. So, But I will say, may I had friends around me that were like, do not respond to him, do not let him have his cake and eat it too. So I just like cold turkeyed him. And I think because I did that, he thought I had moved on, and so that's when he was like it like freaked him out.

I didn't move on.

That's healthiest.

I didn't move on. Like what I'm saying is like actually mentally didn't move on. And I was still saying, like this is my guy, like I'm meant to be with him, But because I cut him cold turkey, I think he believed that I had moved on and then and then he got like freaked out.

But I think that eventually with time, if if he hadn't reached back out and you never heard from him again or whatever, it was, like, I think this the only thing that you could have done at that point was to move on or even pretend to move on, you know, like right right, right, Like I think that

All Right, I gotta be controversial here.

I'm sorry, no be controversial. We love that.

I don't trust young single men because I'm a guy. I used to be a young single man. I wasn't trustworthy. I don't trust them. I think there's something else going on here. I don't think he throws away a relationship because he thinks about work too much. He needs to work on himself. Guys don't think that way. I think he's got his eye on somebody else. He doesn't want to cheat on you, and therefore he's putting you on

I don't completely disagree with you.

Because look at his excuse. Look, she says, it's not like he's constantly obsessed with it. He doesn't work all the time. Like the evidence isn't there to back up what he is saying. Something is missing here.

Maybe something's missing, but I don't think he necessarily has.

I mean, I don't know.

It's hard to say because again I related to my situation.

It wasn't about right that's true, that's true, but it also wasn't about his workaholic ways either.

Yeah, your situation was different, wasn't. And I would think if if you haven't made a big deal about it, if like she hasn't made a big deal about it, and then he's all of a sudden like I just can't be a good girlfriend to you. Like that does feel little suspicious, Like it'd be different if she was like, I don't feel like I'm gitting enough and attention and he's like, well, I don't think I can give that

He needs time to figure things out. What he's trying to figure out is if he wants to be with you for the rest of his life. Maybe there's somebody else, maybe there's not. Maybe he's just getting cold feet because you guys are getting awful serious and he's not ready for that. I don't know what it is, but he's trying to figure this out. It has nothing to do with him working too much, in my opinion.

So our advice is to it's gonna hurt, it's not gonna feel good, and you can cry it out, and you know, keep yourself busy, but give him the space that he's asking for. And you do you is that our advice.

You gotta it's the healthiest thing. You gotta move on. You gotta act like this is a break up and live your life. If you if you stand limbo forever, it's you're hurting yourself and it doesn't do anybody any good. Go out with other people, spend time with your friends, work on yourself, do whatever you gotta do to move past him. If he comes crawling back to you. Then you have a decision to make. But until that happens, you don't have a choice. Pining over him isn't gonna

Focus on you, Yeah, Campbell, you do you.

I remember I did go on one FaceTime date though, remember that.

I do remember that. Yes, and you're just talked about it.

I've talked about your exes the whole time.

We both talked about our axes the whole time. And I still follow this guy on Instagram and he is married, he got back with his ex. We both got back with our exes, and he is now married to his ex and they're about to have a baby.

I'm like, Okay, what.

Point do I stop following this guy? Like I literally went on one day with him, and I still follow him on Instagram. But it's funny to see it's so credy, like.

It's the mutual happy ending here. It's great.

Yeah yeah, yeah yeah.

Maybe as soon as you you get engaged and you're married, then you unfollow. It's like you both completed the course.

Or invite him for your wedding. Full circle moment.

No, okay, feels unnecessarily, you know, taking up space that I need.

All right.

We love you guys.

Bye, Love me,