Take the Cough Drop

different places right now. So let me just preface this by saying, like this weekend, I wanted to do my normal, you know, like before big things. I want to work out, and I want to sleep and I want to go into a sauna and like do all that stuff. I did none of that this weekend, And well, you know, I look at it a sign of maturity because I did a deep dive cleansing of my apartment robbing and I went, oh, here she goes, You're gonna blow you away. Sorry,

it's gone, okay, okay, um. We did like a deep dive deep clean of my apartment and like went in like and gutted everything, like went through my kitchen and all my clothes and like just really it was exhausted, everything, every room, everything. Yeah, the full weekend was dedicated to that. So but I feel very accomplished. So that what I'm saying now, going into this week with everything coming up,

I feel excited. Um. I also feel a little bit nervous because everybody that's read the book so far has been a friend of mine, you know, Like, so even if they hate it, they're gonna be like, it's great. But now that it's out, what if somebody doesn't like it and then they message me and they're like, I don't like this, And then you say, I'm sorry, but thank you for supporting me, thank you for the twenty four nine. And I mean, you can't control how people

perceive certain things. So if anything, it's like, hey, thank you for giving me a shot, and maybe you like the next one. Yeah, And it's a devotional it's not like it's a story and like they didn't like the story or they didn't like the ending or something. I think it's I think you've described very well what it is and people are gonna like it for what it is.

Thank you so much, I think. So I have I have high hopes that it's gonna and I truly feel like it's gonna do really big things for people that are struggling in different areas. So I'm excited about that. So like the excitedness over comes over Trump's over overpowers over powers any other feelings they are a little bit there. I mean, I think with anything, when you put your heart into something and it's vulnerable, there's always that of the voice in your head that's like, what what if

the negative? You know? But um, I even in the group, there were people who were like, I'm not like just and I don't really have any interest to read the book. I want to read it could for someone like is there anyone? And I thought that is so cool because like even if maybe they don't resonate with it or have any interest in a devotional they want to support you and like do it for someone else, which is

really special, I really really special. I saw that Haley goes this will be the first God book I've ever read. I literally was like, I wish I could have I wish she could have said that six months ago and I could slap it on as an endorsement for the book,

because that is so freaking funny. Yeah, I was like, well, this will be great, a great start, I think, you know, you know Toni and Raquel and you know, um, so I thought that was cute and she was like she was like looking down at it, and she was like I said it so casually, and I was like what, Like I did I hear you right? Just like yeah,

so good. You know, it's funny because Riquel is the perfect person to partner with because she really like, she knows the Bible, She's had a relationship, she grew up in church, so she this is this is like who she is at her core, and um, anytime I was struggling, especially at the beginning stages of my career, like if I was dealing with bullying or anything like that, I would always go go to her and she would come back with a scripture that would always make me feel

at peace. So in a sense, the book is kind of like that, like my you know, she had stories too, but like storytelling, but also just kind of these verses that are going to make you feel encourage, encouraged and that peace hopefully. Yeah. Well, I your book signing is tonight at the Grove, So if I don't know when this is going to come out. But if it's out before then seven pm, seven pm at the Grove, Baby Grow.

It's a big deal. Like I think sometimes, especially you, of all my friends, You're always doing such like crazy, big, like cool exciting things, so I almost feel sometimes I get jaded of like, oh, like you know, Tanya's hosting Harry's Style, you know, like I'm like, well, of course she is. But this one feels really cool because it's yours, it's mine, and it's a book, like I think so too.

And I think because it's been so long in the making, you know, like I've been talking about I've been talking about and it's like here now, it just feels very weird. I know. So Robbie's coming, my parents are gonna come up, you all my friends are gonna be there, and they're just gonna stay the whole time. I kind of I don't really know people are going to show up, Like we'll just continue going around on the line, maybe bring

some outfit changes, different hairstyles. Yeah. Um, well, it's very excited. I'm very proud of you, very excited for you. Thank you. Um. And then I'm getting my period later this week. High mother Nature can bring it back low, she'll humble you quick. Yeah, don't get too high in mighty on the sunshine mind, because your period, aunt flow is coming to town. I think we're sinked. I think I'm going to also start my period this week. Nothing makes you happier. It makes

me happier than that. I don't know how it happened either. I mean we've always been a couple of days off. Yeah, we might still be. My cycle is pretty strong. Twenty seven days okay, just right on the market. Right on the market. Yeah, mine's kind of like maybe a couple of days off here and there. Yeah, or twenty eight one of the two. Alright, Well, we'll see you. I mean, here's to hoping. Here's to hoping, even though you'll be gone on Good Morning America, A Good Morning America. I

don't have a pre interview this week. I'm like, I can't believe I have a pre interview, meaning like the producers of Good Morning America. You're gonna call me any question that's like official, that's like a big deal. You only get pre interviews for like really big I know, very exciting. Oh my gosh. Right before we started the podcast, Tonya was like, what did you ask about Oh, she goes, I can't believe you were in the same room with Alex Earl and you didn't say hi. It seems so

wrong because why because I'm obsessed with her. I we should have run the podcast, but I feel like we gotta get in, you know what I mean, Like we havent DM her. Well. She had said like she went through a breakup and kind of did like a live about it, and she was like, if I can go and call her daddy, I'll talk about the breakup. So I think her she's really shooting for the top. Girl. You know what Choice awards exactly, and you know what, mhm, there's plenty to go around. Why don't she have to

limit herself to one podcast? I don't think she did. I think she was just saying, like, I'll talk about my breakup, and if I get to go and call her daddy, why not scrubbing in. It's a perfect place to talk about your breakup. We can put you back together again. Girl. I don't know she I don't know she knows about us. Well, if he would have gone up here at the party, she would have This is true. I think that I was thinking about that this morning.

Like our podcast has been consistent for almost six years. Yeah, this year will be six years, you know what? Not a lot? How to like that? What again? Like that? Not a lot? Not a lot or like that? Right, Like we've had the longevity consistencies. We are the Quaker Oats of the podcast. Yeah, I don't know if that will draw people to us, but that's great, Twayne of

podcasts keep going. Okay, I was just thinking, I see what these other podcasts do as far as like how they're always like looking to do new things to promote the podcast, whether it's like new really cute, like cool merch, like they're like cool, you know, like vibes, Yeah, their vibes. And I'm like, I think we've got to really like increase our coolness because I feel like we're really like nice, but I don't know we're like cool. But I think I'm just gonna throw the out there, I'm not cool.

You're the cool one, so you're gonna have to like, no, not cool, And like I don't think I don't know that anyone is cool with the air quotes, but I don't think they did. They're like doing cool things so like as a podcast because like into like you're you literally have a book coming out, like you're doing really cool things. But like as the podcast, it's like, how do we be nice and also elevating because I don't. I don't want to just be cool like I don't.

I'm not trying to get people to think that we're like something We're not right, because that would be But it's like, how do we elevate our brand as a podcast, Like how do we have people wearing merg being on TikTok, posting our clips on TikTok, just things like that, I'm ready for it, I'm down. I'm just not cool myself. So I need your help on how to be cool. Like that green screen TikTok, I didn't that was all you and that was fire, absolute fire. It's just a

last content over there. So that I was thinking about I've done on TikTok since I joined in twenty I think we need Hanna to like really help us because it was like really cool. Yeah I'm not. She's so cool and it's like effortless, Like she posts a photo of her meal and it like I'm like, how it's just like a photo of her plate. But you know what, I realized what and I think we need to come to consensus as a family here no more Zoom interviews.

I did J podcast last week and it was such a great conversation, Like it was so fun and it was so great, and I was like, you get and we'd just done K t L A like we did K in the morning and then we did JS podcast after and KTL was on Zoom and it was just it's just such a different energy. It's completely different vibe. And I was like, you know what, we should have all of our podcast guests be in studio. It is totally different. So here's are your thoughts. Well, I'm one

thousand percent on the same page as you. I think having face to face time and in person connection you can't match that over a screen. It's just the facts, Like even our energy with the four of us when we're not marked today, but um like typically when we're all in the room together, it's been a different energy for the podcast. So I feel like, here's a butt

coming here. There's however, Okay, if we have a guess that we are like shooting for the stars for Patrick Dempsey in studio, but if he is in Maine, Okay, let's say he's in Maine and he's willing to do it, but he's in Maine. We go to Maine. What are you talking about, like Mark Wahlberg, Yeah, we went exactly that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we went to like where elseo we go? We went to San Francisco for the what team was that Giants? Yeah,

we can go to Maine for Patrick Dempsey. Okay, so you're saying we only do interviews in person no matter what the scenario is, and we say, I'm just floating it to the team. I'm just I'm with you a thousand percent. I am so tired of Zoom interviews as a producer, but also as a podcast listener. Yes, as my dog listen to podcast and I hear a guests coming on and they're on Zoom a little bit of spirit, it's not as exciting. So I'm with you a thousand percent.

We need to get all of our producers on board. But I'm with you, I'm with you. I'm one percent in tune with you and what you're saying. So I think that's just a conversation we have within internal and internal combo with the team. Yeah, because you know, like, let's think about who do we have last week Candice Killing She lives in Nashville. We may have had to wait on her a bit when she came to l A, right, but it would have been worth it totally. I agree.

I think maybe if there's a guess that we really want and there's someone who could potentially come to l A. We floated to, hey, will you be in l A anytime soon? Yes? Would you like to? And I'm fine doing multiple interviews in a day if we need to have. We used to do it all the time where we have to guess yeah, just confirming with correct and head nods. She's okay, cool, I'm down. I like it. That's cool. That is cool, that is cool, and that is forward.

We are not in the COVID era anymore. Actually, I want to shout out a little bit still. I mean, it's around, but I did um. We had a scrubbing and listener DM me and she said that she spent the last six months like binging the entire podcast from the beginning, and so I did like a little what is R and D research with her and I was asking her questions like what was your favorite part, what

are your favorite episodes? Which era did you not like And she said the COVID quarantine era, but everything was on zoom. Yeah, no one liked that era. Like that was a tough time forever the zoom. The zoom has lingered on from the COVID era, and the zoom cannot linger anymore. We need to put a hard stop now. I was gonna say, um a cough, drop in our mouth and cure boy. If I had to guess a thousand words, not even made the list. I was like, I thought I had a brain like glitch and I

had missed half of the sentence. I literally was questioning myself like I was like, drop, I'm on a weird energy right now because I don't think I slept well last night because I'm like excited and all the anticipation of the week. So I think I'm a little like tired. But I have been to a lot of adrenaline. I also didn't sleep we all because we had I had, I woke up. I'm in a depressive stay right now. Okay, so yesterday I think I was doing I should read

my book, an Instagram live or something. This is a different depressive so you'll understand. I think I was doing Instagram live and I'm gonna text. Yeah. I got a text and it kind of opened and it was John Danielle's husband, and I, because I had seen it opened, I didn't read the text, but then it wasn't like not a notification anymore. So I kind of forgot about

it because I kept doing the live. So this morning I wake up and I'm like, just going through my text froom yesterday and I read his text and he's like, Hey, I know it's last minute, but um, tonight is Harry Styles last night at the Forum. Um, if you and Haley want to go, I have two tickets. I'll take care of your parking. Oh my heart sank. You don't understand. I have been and last night was his best outfit

of the whole. Then I texted on and I'm like, I cannot believe I missed this text message, Like I I'm going to be thinking about this for a very long time. And he's like, oh, it's okay, like he'll be back at some point, and I'm like and so then I go on TikTok and see his outfit and I'm like, I just saw his outfit and I've gone into a deep, dark, depressive state. He just didn't like laughing about cheese. I wonder who those tickets went to.

I hope they enjoyed it, whoever it was. But um, I was gonna say, as we had like a game night last night, and I don't know what I ate. It was either chicken or charcuterie. Is that it char charcuterie? Is it called cured meat? It grosses me out saying okay, like salamis and delicious. I know, But I got so sick from something last night. I was like fighting, throwing up all night. So I slept horribly. Um. And so I think I'm off meat for a minute, because that's

what I have to do. I have to give myself a break. So I'm vegetarian for so much. But welcome to the vegetarian club, thank you so much, just until I recover. Um. So that's a little bit about me and when I went through the past twenty four hours. Okay. Um. Also, I had a moment this weekend where I really got in tune with my feelings and my emotions. Oh yeah, I wanted to talk about it because are you okay?

I'm fine, But we're gonna take a break and we'll be back we'll talk about it when we come back from this break. All right, we're back. So before the break, we're talking about being in touch with your emotions. Tanya has really been checking in. She feels like I'm unwell. I don't really feel unwell because Becca is like posting stuff on Instagram about journaling in her face hitting the sun, and I was like, are you good right now? You know? I think that I feel What do we say? I

don't feel like I'm a mojo? Remember how you still like? Okay, So I think I've lost your mojo, lost some mojo and I feel it. It's like sometimes I feel like I have things that I need to share with someone, but I'm always like, oh, what if I don't even know what reaction I want from someone if I were to tell like a person like a friend or someone.

So I just hold it inside because I'm like, well, I can't be disappointed in a reaction that I don't even know what I'm expecting if I don't tell anybody. Going deep, No, I'm just saying like, if you don't tell anyone, then you're not gonna get about You're just like yeah, I'm fine, Like okay, yeah, Because I'm like whatever, I'm just processing in my mind. But then I was.

I went to the park and I got my favorite sandwich, went to the park and I brought my journal with Haley's always Haley loves journaling, like she journals almost every night. She's always like, you should just write your thoughts down. It feels so good to just like get it out and write it down on paper. I'm always like, no, I'm good, I don't want to. But I did it, and I felt so much better. And I realized this

because there's no reaction. You're just getting out the thoughts, but you don't have to worry or expect a reaction from anyone. And I felt so much better. I literally felt like my headspace was like clear. So do you want to share what you wrote in that journal? Well, I just wrote down like things that like things that I want to work on as a person, in like as an individual and in a relationship, and then work

like dreams. Um. I think just being like like feeling secure in a relationship because I've always felt secure because I've always felt like I kind of had the I think when you're not in love, you feel secure, right, yeah, like you have the upper hand. Yeah, like when you give your heart to under a relationship or to a person, you kind of lose some of that like control or power because you're I mean, you just have to trust

that they're going to take care of it, right. So I think, Um, with Hailey, you know, she's like about to go on tour and like she's gonna be really busy for the next few months. I get like really in my head and I have this voice it's like you got to protect yourself, and it's like she's not she's she's just leaving Physically, She's very communicative, she's great when when she's on tour, like she has a really

good job. But I think I get my head where I'm like, you're you don't have control over this situation, so you don't really have control over any situation, over anything. So I think I was just writing those thoughts still, you know, you don't have to have control over everything to just like be secure preach sister. But yeah, I think the best way to tie it into the podcast is I feel like I've lost my mojo, but I get it back. I think I just kind of felt like, blah, blah,

I hate that blah, feeling Amy Sugarman. I remember one time we were walking and she called it the feeling, and I was like, that's a perfect description, because I hate the feeling. And you can't escape the feeling. You just have to sit with the feeling and try to do things that make you feel better forget the feeling. Uh yeah, I just feel distracted from the feelings. But you know, sometimes it's going to just sit in it.

I think I've done a lot of sitting in it, and I was ready to like not be sitting in anymore. You know what I found this weekend? Yeah, your love word. Oh yeah, yeah, I found that obviously, But um, I for some reason, I couldn't remember when I did the calling in the one work book. Oh yeah, so you have a physical book, but all the journaling and all the homework and stuff. I didn't like a separate journal.

And I haven't been able to find the journal. And this weekend when Rob and I were going through my apartment, like we were going through every bin, everything and like whatever, and I found my, uh my journal that I did all that work in. Please let me read, I know I was thinking about. I didn't go through it. I didn't read it. Or anything, because time was of the essence.

But I know exactly where it is now in my apartments, in this bin, and there's not much in there anymore, and I feel like I should grab it and take some photos and maybe like read a little bit of it. Can we do a second where you read excerpts, because I want to compare, like a little bit, like what was I like, what kind of mindset was I in at that time? Manic manically searching for the one? Yeah, like I don't know, I have no idea what to

expect reading back that stuff. No, I feel I would just like to hear you read it where it was kind of like seeing what came to fruition now. Yeah, I'd be so curious to know. I have a question. Do you still write in your Dear Future Husband? I haven't written it and a very long time because that journal is also at my apartment, which I am not at much. So the answer to your question is no, I'm not. But I'm not like antie it. I just it's not near me, so I'm not thinking about it

and I'm not like going on bad dates. You know, when did you When did you stop writing in that? I'd say probably maybe a year into dating Robbie. Okay, I'd like some excerpts from that too, please. I found like the I found that the our first night that we uh that we met, and I took a picture of it because it was like, I met this guy and I didn't want to go on the date, but

Sierra said I had too, so you went. We do have Sierrara think, Yeah, it is crazy, you know when I think when you think about it, like we all started off as strangers. And I've been really in this process of trying to be um grateful for the season of why that I'm in because I'm always so rushing and ready to get to the next season of my life, and so I've been like really just like focused on that theme right now. And I'm like, it's so crazy because I vividly remember the night that I met Robbie.

Did I ever in a million years think that this dude unhinge was going to be the love of my life? Like no, and then just you meet him and then it's like boof, and everybody always says, you know, like, um, I always I feel like at that time I was doing a lot of work stuff. It was people's choice Awards, and I was going to New York and back and I was like, you know what, I don't have time, and then it's the holidays and don't I can't date right now. So I was going to start back on

the apps in January. This is your sign if you're listening to this and you're saying, I just gotta wait

till I finish this big project. Wait not wait not Well, I think you can always find an excuse to put things off for other things you have going on, because like putting yourself out there to date is kind of a vulnerable, scary thing for I think a lot of people, most people, So you can always make an excuse like I have too much going on for work, I have too much things going on to like put my time

and energy into this. But I just gotta do it. Yeah, because like around Thanksgiving, it's like Thanksgiving and then the holidays and the New Year, so it's kind of then what Valentine's Day, St Patrick's Day, Tony's favorite, So there's never really a good time. So this is just the sign if anybody's out there, go for it. Take the

cough drop, take the cough drop. Wait not wait, not wait, not Haley and I have watched started watching Chris this season of The Bachelor Crystals, the one that I was like, oh wow. We watched the first episode, like the Limo entrances, and it is just crazy, Like even seeing myself, I was like, who is that Robbie and I we are you watching? Who? Amazon? Amazon? Prime Video? Yeah? Prime video? Okay, okay, should we watch it too? Yeah? That's fun. I'm not

really into anything right now. We finished Bad Sisters and we're back, we're dabbling back into the recruit, but I'm not you know, well, it was interesting because Haley was like, I feel like I don't know that, Like I remember she was like I remember watching this and thinking you were like like that you popped off the screen, Like I remember thinking that, But I just didn't know her, and like, even watching it now, I just feel like

she just seems so like young and shy. You Yeah, And I was like, well I think that was kind of like the edit I got anyway, So yeah, um, but yeah, that should be interesting. Nothing happened in that first episode, like we didn't kiss or anything, so we'll see how that goes. Yeah, we'll watch it. That's fun. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah, whenever. Yeah, so we're gonna we'll see how consistent we are with that. But oh wow, the

drama of him looking at the road. But you know, like ever since the seasons I was on, we we've watched The Bachelor. Like Haley and I we watched The Bachelor watching this season. We weren't going to because we didn't really have any interest, but we watched it the other night and we were like, it's good. I'm fine with it. Like Chris was such a great Bachelor, like taking me out of Like the show just felt different. I guess that's what it is. Like the show felt different.

I haven't watched a single second of his season, but I met him a couple of times. He's always been cool. I don't know, he's just well, I don't know. Even Haley was saying, she was like, I feel like he's just very himself, Like he doesn't feel like he's trying to be the Bachelor. And every time we were watching, like the Limo entrances, and he looked at every girl in the eye and was like so personal and genuine, there wasn't that, Like I don't know, there was just

something different about how it is now. Interesting um, we're going to watch that. Maybe not tonight because of the one, so I could do it tomor night. Okay, should this be an assignment for the scrubbers? Maybe they should. As you have to buy it though, I feel you have to buy it because I was trying to do I think, like TikTok, this is like forever ago, and I think I just was like, oh, you can buy the season. So I just bought it. But I don't know if people cared that much by it. I'll and I have

the same birthday. I just want to do Remember six, he's six years older than me, but we have the same birthday. Are you a scorpioio? I didn't even realize. I didn't really know anything about zodiac signs, so I didn't even know that dogs a scorpio. I mean she's a water sign. Yeah. Can you relax? You got two scorpios sitting right here. Scorpios and I are good good Matt, like good friends. Yeah, that's why I am Sunny connect Sunny doesn't seem scorpio vibes. Yes, she is. She seems

like a leo. She gives you no, she's like, gives you no attention. She tries to make you want her. She's very Scorpia. We really can apply the zodiac traits to animals too. You can do whatever you want. That as humanity, we're accepting that we can do whatever we want. Yeah, this is my world. You're just visiting in. You know. I think Phoebe's a Virgo. I don't know much about virgo's. I don't really they're very organized. If you've never seen

Phoebe Tillie eat dinner, let me tell you. She's come over and she's had some of Sunday's dinner before, and she's not a fan of carrots any vegetables. She takes it out. Okay, my dog's food is mashed up like it looks like if you took mashed potatoes and everything and literally cut it up into very tiny pieces and mashed all together, like it literally just a giant mashed potato.

Phoebe Tilli eats Sunday's food and you will see a little pile of carrots that she has taken out of the food and put on the floor next to the bowl. And I'm like, that is some skill that she can even get the carrots away from the rest of the meal, Like that is skill. Isn't that the most me thing that she takes out the veget She did it with her food, with the celery, she just puts it off to the side. So it's so funny because when my

dog eats, she just it's like she inhales it. There's not I don't even think she realized what she's doing. It's like she just drop the hungry girl. Don't she might be underfed? We're not sure. Um, I don't know. I think we need to take a break and then come back with emails. Does that feel Does that feel right? Yeah? During the break, Tanya has discovered that the Jonas brothers have been giving their Hollywood star on the Walkome Walk of Fame. Congratulations to the Joe bros. They finally got

their star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. But I mean, we're doing this in real time, and the speeches are going on and I can't seem to find on the internet who gave their speeches. And but you don't feel happy that you weren't included. I mean, I feel like that was an oversight. You know, maybe they were like, she's got a lot going on. Oh yeah, yeah, it feels like a missed opportunity. You know, I agree. I that's a missed opportunity. Like me going to the Harry

Styles concert was a missed opportunity. You know, I'll be thinking about for years to come. Congrats to you guys. Congrats Joe Bros. Kevin and Joe and Nick. That's them, the brothers Jonas. Moving on, Moving on to emails, Mark take it away, Well, thank you very much, Becca. This is from Patrese. She says, how do you know what It's time to tell the brutal, honest truth and move on from a friendship. Nicole and I have been friends for over twenty years. We've met his kids in the

soccer field, grew up in school together. It became travel buddies, became roommates who slammed beers together. Throughout our twenties. Last three or four years, there has been a struggle as our lives have grown in opposite directions. We were in our early thirties. I have a great career, I got married. I'm looking to start a family. The coals bounced from job the job. She can't figure out her passion. She

has had any luck in the love department. I've done everything I can to listen and be supportive and try to give advice. But she's going through these struggles and her depression and anxiety have taken over. It has become hard to spend time with her. As we're changing as people, She's become very opinionated. Are you ineditive? And I know it all. It's been frustrating to deal with over the years. I try to ignore it and let it go, but

I found myself starting to argue back. One time, we even spent thirty minutes arguing about Taylor Swift, who I could care less about. Sorry, girls, just because I'm sick of her always thinking that it's her way or no way. I'm tired of feeling anxious about what she's gonna do or say next. What do I do? Do I tell her the truth of how I feel. How do you tell someone you don't like the personality? And is it time to let this friendship go? Well, it's not so

much her personality, it's her character different. Well, I think real hard, But I also think when you're going through stuff like dealing with depression and anxiety, you're not yourself. Like I don't think that that's who she is because it sounds like the person that she is was someone

that Patrice liked being around at one point. I think either way you're gonna lose, like you could lose this friendship because you're either going to lose it in a way that you quit responding and quit hanging out and it just eventually ends with maybe no closure because I think you're going to get tired of hearing and arguing

and all the things that you listed. UM. And then the other option is that you have an honest conversation with her and say, I find I know that you're going through so much, and I'm trying to be supportive, but I feel like you're negative. I feel like you're argumentative. It's hard to want to spend my time and energy putting effort into this friendship when you know you're not um reciprocating or putting in the effort back. But she

isn't saying she's not participating or reciprocating. She's saying everything's always her way or the highway, and she's like argumentative. Yeah, I would just say I feel like everything every time we talk it's an argument or it's only your opinion is the only one that matters. Doing it where you're not blaming her. You know, you can blame the relationship.

You can say is it me or we arguing constantly lately, and maybe the other person is feeling it too, And maybe that's a starting off point where you're not saying you're argumentative, you're awful, I don't like being around you. We could say what's going on with us? I feel like we're arguing all the time. It's not like it used to be. What's happening? And maybe there's a that's

a starting point to getting somewhere. That's great advice. Yeah, I definitely feel like you have to talk it out and kind of try and figure it out if you can, especially if you guys were so close. But also at the same time, I think that sometimes if stuff is going, if life is going not in like a positive direction for some people and it is with their friends, some people tend to react in a very negative, bad way, and I feel like that can really bring you down.

And so maybe you don't break up with her, but maybe you distance yourself a little bit to to not let it kind of get in the way of you know, what's going on in your life, and give it a little distance, a little space and then come back and kind of have the conversation and just say, you know, we were getting things were getting really negative and and I want to just give it a little space before

we communicated. So you're not giving up and breaking up with her, but you're just giving yourself a little distance. I also think sometimes people are in your life what's the quote for season or yeah, And I think sometimes we are evolving as people, like we hope to evolve as people, right like and grow and change, and sometimes it doesn't line up with the person who is in your life at that season where you all really connected. Sometimes you grow out of those friendships and relationships. So

I don't know. I think if you're if you want to put an effort, I think you have a conversation like Mark said, and just say like, what's going on, Like this doesn't feel like our relationship and I feel like we're arguing a lot, and approach it more from a we standpoint, so that she might get defensive, but at least you're not saying like you you you, or you just say you know, I've grown, we've grown, and we're we've grown in different directions and that's okay, that's okay,

you're going east, I'm going west. You're going north, I'm going south. But you know what, we're all going in a direction, as long as you're going in a direct, as you're going in a direction, all right. This is from an anonymous listener who says, I'm a long time listener, first time emailers, So I really hope you can read this email. My boyfriend of almost three years this proposing soon, and I'm worried because I think I know when I've told him. I wanted to be a surprise, but I

think he's so excited. These kind of brought it up, but as slightly hinted as to when, at least I think that's what he was doing. Do I just forget the movie? Like ideal I had in my head that I would be shocked during my proposal? Will I still be? Since like I don't really know exactly what it's going to be. I feel like nowadays maybe that doesn't even happen that much. We're very open about getting married and engaged.

I helped choose the ring. I love him so much and I want to be surprised, but I also don't want to let him down that I figured out when it will be m iem like a good problem to have. Yeah, the Champagne problems for everything's going just how you wanted

to go itself. But I will say she she really hit on something that is, like, um, something that I've had to deal with a law in therapy, and that is getting rid of that fairy tale expectation that you have in your head of whatever it may be X y Z. Because I had that fairy tale expectation in my head for my whole life. You know, I thought there was going to be a prince charming on a white horse and he was gonna have the exact same slipper that was going to fit my foot, and like

it was. It is this unrealistic expectation of how things should be in life. Just isn't that way, do you know what I mean? Life is not this unrealistic expectation movie fairy tale. It is in so many ways and it's bliss and it's amazing. But sometimes things life doesn't always turn out the way that you expect. And I think everybody in this room can agree to that in every way, shape or form, whether it's career, whether it's friendships,

whether it's romantic relationships. You know, like They're all these expectations that we have that we put in ourselves that just are unrealistic, and so I think that coming to terms with that reality is so beneficial for your mental health.

It's just like something that I wrapped my head around a while, like a year or two ago, and I was like, you know what, my journey and and it's going to be a little different than I had imagined for myself, but it's equally as amazing, and like the challenges make it that much better in the long run. So I'd say, just get rid of that expectation in your head. I think when the moment happens, it sounds

like you've been anticipating it for a while. Now we've been helped to pick out the ring, you're going to just be so excited that you're engaged. And I'm in the same boat as you, girl. I think you're going to, like, I think all these things that you're like in your head about are going to totally fly out the window, and you're gonna be like, why did I even spend

my energy or time worrying about this. You're in a really good place to pick out the beautiful ring you want with the man that you're like, even though I don't know exactly when it's coming, Like I don't I don't know how pinpointed the day or whatever, I feel like it is coming and I don't feel like it's ruined at all because I know that it's coming. Yeah, you're just like ready for it to get here, so

ready for it. You know, nails are popping. She's ready at any moment, just ready, you know, just living in that state of ready. But already. I think, no matter what, even if you do, even if she knows it's going to happen Tuesday at seven pm on whatever, you're gonna be anxiously awaiting, being excited and like, yeah, it's gonna be gonna be fantastic. You'll pick out the ring. You weren't going to be that excited surprised in the first place. That's great, Just go with it, have a great time.

It's okay. Yeah, at least you're gonna like the ring. I've talked to some friends who didn't necessarily like the ring that they got proposed to with, So at least you know you know what you're getting. At least you know what you're getting when you're getting it. When you're getting in. Oh, I was gonna ask you, this is following up from something else. Did you like Bad Sisters? Yes, it got a little snoozy in the middle, a little bit like there was like an episode two were like interesting,

but I loved it the ending, Yes, unexpected. Is he not the most infuriating character that you've in the world? I cannot imagine has anyone else watched it? Very good, very recommend Before we go, I did want to send a big congratulations, a big scrubbing in congratulations to our OSCAR nominated Sophia Carson. So congrats to her. Congrats to her everyone. Tania's book, The Sunshine Mine comes out tomorrow. Um, we're so proud of you. She sent me some of

her vision boards from over the years that predicted this moment. Now, some of them are a stretch, but one of them from so wait, you know what, that's three years ago now, It said New York Times bestselling author Tanya at right there on the vision board. You can't be any clearer than that. And here we go. I know. I sent him a couple of stretches because to share the stretches. One was Carrie Bradshaw was on her vision board and Terry Bradshaw is an author. Yes, okay, whatever, right here.

One was the words sparkle and shine where it was on the vision board and it is the sunshine mind and seen the word light was on her vision board. So really that was a direct work in the work since twenties sixteen. You didn't know what it was, but you knew the feeling light, the sparkle, the shine was coming through Carrie Bradshaw Vibes, which is an author to the New York Times best selling book The Sunshine Mine.

There we go, There we go. Yeah, those are some stretches, but I appreciate that per at least you had like a legit one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you. Um that's all for today, folks. We love you, We love you. A great week, and we'll be back next Monday.