Romp Around

and that's all that matters. I is this what I have somehow dodged every dodged it from everyone near me, and I am knocking on wood hard because I don't know how I did it. And I genuinely feel like my immune system has been weekend because I've been like

going NonStop. I mean it is early in the month, so you still sometimes you are right, I I but like part of me has that feeling of like I just want to get it and get it over with because I'm like, you know, you know, there's so many different things going around that it's like, well, I feel like you and Haley definitely had the same thing. You'll have like the exact same symptoms, the same length of time. She still will have like a cough attack that's been

this is like week three. No, well, ever since I started the steroid in Hailer, my cough has been at Bay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's what I would say. Hers is that it's at Bay too. But she also she tore I can't remember if it was like a tenant or a ligament in her foot. I think she said ligament. Yeah, so she's in like a walking boot. Yeah she's not. She's always got something. It's not not living her best life right now. But not say she's right. No. But we did have

a really fun weekend. Oh my god. I mean, so many festivities, so many festivities out in the cold. What I was feeling very chilly this weekend. It was chilli, yeah, but we were intoor jingle ball Yeah but still okay. But I will say it was very rainy and cozy in l A this weekend, and we had jingle Ball, which I had the best I can't even explain to you. Becca looked like a little girl on Christmas morning, like it was like she was experiencing a concert for the

very first time. It was like cute but also strange, Like I was like, what's happening here? You know, I can't explain it to you. I because we I have been you know, coming to my heart events and festivals for a long time. And to be honest, like I kind of last year, I remember thinking I kind of feel jaded because like we get to we talked about this all the time, like we get to do so many cool things that you just forget how cool they are. I really embraced jingle Ball this year, like I just

I stayed almost all time. I left like like twenty minutes, not even But you know what, I would like mark two guests on this one. So out of all the artists there, so you don't have like the Shakira John Mayer fan club, Becca now has that with two of the artists that were at jingle Ball. Can you guess which to that? She used, completely fan girling out over. I'm wanna say, duelipa, Okay, have to get I don't

get any confirmation. You have to guess the two and then I will reveal m hm hm and wrong and wrong again. Honestly, couldn't be more of the wrong. Yeah, So Becca wants to start the Louis Capaldi and pit Bull fan cum unexpected twist sent Synergy Club, Yes, Musical Synergy Sergy Club. Yeah, here's the thing. Pit Bull has always kind of been like like he had good songs, but it was always kind of like, I don't know, a joke to like him or something. I don't know.

It's like we would always joke about like Pitbull, you know, because he's very like Miami club and like the songs are very much that like vibe. So if you're not really into that type of music, then you're just kinda like it's whatever. It's Miami club music, y'all. The crowd so much fun that I'm like, I want to go to like a pit Bowl concerts at start in Miami to see Mr. Three oh five, Mr. World War five. I think there's a reason he's on most I Heart

shows because he just brings it every single time. Yeah. I can't even explain, like it felt like we the energy turned up to like level one, and I don't think anyone in our group was. Well maybe Paulina because she said she is a fan. She has a three oh five area coach respect respect um. But our whole row, Like Dean Kaylin, we were all everybody was shook at

how much fun they had during People. It was so when he played Timber, I mean, oh my god, all of his songs are that good and it just doesn't stop, and you know what's funny. So we actually introduced people, me, Ryan and Sissney. So we were backstage while they were like getting ready, and his backup dancers are like fully doing push ups like before they go out. I'm like, they are they got to build up their stamina for

that because it is like NonStop. I have to say the dancers deserve a lout of credit because they're energy to like it was just the whole thing. Yeah. So yeah, I don't know if I'm going to start a fan club for Louis Capaldi and Pitbull, but let me just say I left they're going when Louis Capaldi comes to l A, we will be going to that show and we are going to plan a trip to Miami to go see Mr. Three oh five here, don't stop the party. What the what are those hometel room service? You got

the hotel? Okay, I never know what it's called. That Fireball Timber time of our lives and give me everything. Yeah, come on, Yeah, it's hit after hit. It's called like the smoke shoots up Oak shooters. The smoke shooters went up and it was just like the whole crowd was like jumping and it was fun. It was like a

big party. Yeah. But I will say my feet the next day because I had literally brought a whole change of clothes because my broken toes, like my my feet are not gonna last in these light heels where they're smushed, and I made it. Admit to the end. I have to tell you me. Two people ask me about my heels, like how do you because I got to the venue at noon on Friday, so I was in the heels

from noon until we left it close to midnight. So if I was in the Bad Boys for twelve hours, if you have, I don't know how much they are. They're not like cheap, but they are these Stewart Whitesman heels. They're like the little slingbacks. I have them in black and I have them in tan, and I wear them to every event because they are so comfortable. I can just walk all day in those things. And they're high heels. You should do a little linky. Yeah, I should link them.

Thank you for and these Jeffrey Campbell shoes that I wore to Wingo so comfortable. I feel like I could have romped around in those for weeks. Isn't that that that you those silver sleep but at one go you have a little golf cart situation. Yeah, jingle balls, I'll walk, I'll walk, and a lot of back and forth a lot and for a lot of sitting. I did get to sit quite some some sits. Yeah, yeah, it was

really fun. Yeah. So then Friday night was amazing, amazing, And actually I got so many d m s because Beck and Paulina were sitting next to each other and they were like, oh, you're too dual bridesmaids battling it out for who's guys made sorry? Sorry? Made of honors? Dueling? Made of honors? Did Mike, Who's going to make the cut or whatever? It was so funny how many damns I got about that, the two of you being together. Well, we talked about it, you did. Paulina and I talked

about it when she had heard the podcast. What did she What did you guys talk about relinquished control? I said, you don't get to decide. Yeah, but I said, there's no bad blood. I think that for Tony's personality and how she is particular, I think it'll be better if if you take the reins, if she happens to, you know, make that decision. Wow wow wow. Yeah. So I will say she came and clutched for me at jingle Ball because I ordered my dress for jingle All and it

came in on Thursday. I tried it on. The girth it took, and the muscle it took. Robbie to zip me in. That was honestly like he was like whole Colgan trying to like he got me in this. He was like, yeah, baby, but fits. And I'm like, yeah, to be in this for twelve hours, you think I'm gonna like romp around the forum with like a I can barely breathe in this thing, Like there's no way. Yeah. So that was a sad moment. So I started my workout routine again today. But that's the size of the point.

So I was like, oh my gosh, it's tomorrow. I have to figure something out. So Pauline it came over with like a bunch of options for me and really saved the day. Well, that's good to know. I will make sure that I have a backup wedding dress on in case the day comes and it's yeah, not zipping all the way. Yeah, I was alarming because I that was like my size, and so I was like, but you know, everything runs differently. I don't even get if

something that fit me. I'm like, but the brand already small. But I already I know the size dress because I have a dressed from this. I don't have a ton of dresses that are just like fit differently. It was really well. I had tried mine on the day before and Haley I was like having to hold it close. Haley was having a zippen. And then when I was getting ready for jingle Balls by myself and I was like,

what the heck come? I mean having to go up in my high rise pantyhose and get someone to I'm gonna say, do you know how many Uber drivers have zipped me into dresses in my day? Yeah? What is a single girl gonna do when she's like romping around town? Is romped? The word of the podcast has been used

three or four times so far. We are what ten? Yeah, a lot of Uber drivers has zipped me in Oh my gosh, that's so vulnerable, and I applaud you for having just the uh confidence, the girth, No, the girth, yeah, no that's not right, the just like, yeah, the confidence to be like, hey don't have I need a third hand. Girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. I applied that. Um. So I did get rejected a couple of times, but yeah, well that makes sense to me, Like legally, no, this

hr in our contract. I can't touch you. Yeah, this is absolutely not allowed. So so yeah, that was jingle Ball was a blast. Um. And then Saturday we had our holiday party. We missed you Mark, Yeah you were missing East still wasn't here, but he's not here right now either, so you would have loved it. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah. So it was like the holiday party for the podcasts. It was so lovely, like the vibe, the energy, it was immaculate, Like I wouldn't have wanted

anything better or more perfect. Yeah, my my wife and had one daughter were down in Anaheim for a chorus thing, so I was had my other daughter. We had lovely weekend together. I wouldn't have changed the thing. Well, you could have come to no, she probably would have loved. She probably loved. I don't know about that. You're literally on the ocean, like the oceans right there, we're outside, there were heaters. They just kept bringing out food. It was like everybody was in a great move and like

celebratory and like, I don't know. It was very really really nice. And then like, um, there's a lot of hidden gluten and sushi. I didn't know if you know that, but I asked this waiter. I was like, hey, I'm gluten free. If you can just let me know like what I can eat, I'm gonna be sitting at this table. And he was like, yeah, no problem, I got you.

He was so above and beyond kind. He like brought out like personal little platters of everything that didn't have the sauce on it for me, so it was gluten free and like Haley garlic or onion, So he customized hers with no garlic and onion and Tanya's with no gluten every single dish. Yeah, And so I called. I called the restaurant yesterday and just wanted to talk to the manager to like explain how nice. And that made me feel really cared for. And I always feel like

such an asshole, being like I'm gluten free. I need you know, I need extra good for you though for calling the restaurant, yeah that like nobody ever leaves good YELP reviews on there, but I never think to do that when it was amazing. You only go on there when you're angry, correct, But that's great for you. That's a that's above and beyond to call the restaurant. And

I was like, his name was Elias. He was so like and it was funny because they were like, our managers really busy right now, cand of just take a message, and I was like, I really want to talk to the manager. But then I was like I don't want to be annoying, so I was like, okay, make sure can you write this down? His name was Alias, and he was really great. He should get a raised Like.

I was just like, no, he really And I mean I going to eat with Haley all the time and knowing how complicated, like even having to talk to the waiters like a very stressful experience. To have someone who's like, you're fine, I I got you. It was really really above him. It's got to be so hard to be a waiter these days with all of the different restrictions, especially in Los Angeles. It's got to be a challenge for these people. No, I feel like LA is probably

easiest because so many people haven't right. If you're like where I grew up, they're like, you're not in the right spot, right. So, yeah, what a great vibe. It was really really nice, and he goes, I knew it was gonna be fun, but I really had the best time. I had the same feeling I had. And Robbie actually wasn't going to calm because we had the kids this weekend and so he didn't like to leave them. But he was like, you know, I really want to be there with you, and I think it's going to be

a special night. And I was like, how did you know? Like, how did you know it's gonna be so special? Had to feel he had a feeling, always has a feeling. Yeah, well, yesterday, I in my mind I was thinking, you know, I knew I had all these things. I was going to rest. But then um Betty who invited us to her It was like her album released party, celebrating her album Big, and they did like a softball game and it was in Malibu and it was like raining. The whole time.

But it was so much fun. But I have to say even something just like for fun and like, you know, not taken seriously. I hustled like I was playing in like the state championship. You're competitive. So sore today, like muscles that I have not used since two thousand and ten. Wow. Wow, that's a long time twelve years. It's a long time. They've been in retirement for a long hiatus. An we lost, but you know it was we all. I'm proud of you for getting down the rain. I did literally nothing yesterday.

I mean I did, like, yeah, nothing. I watched Home Alone one Home Alone to the night before Christmas and Fear Factor and then Random because no it was old because we were talking about it at our dinner on Saturday night and I was like, oh, that might be a fun show that the kids might like because they like that kind of stuff. So that's why we threw it in the mix. And it was actually really entertaining. Um. But and then we had like a we like cooked

a family dinner. Paulina came over. We made cookies, gluten free cookies. So it was like a very indoor activity Sunday. But I needed it. It was very It was a very cozy day, and to be honest, I had a blast within. Like once we got home, Hailey was the coach of our team because you know, she's in her boots, so she just was coaching and she had a great time coaching. And then we got home and I was like, I got a shower and I'm not moving from the couch.

But she has been watching Wednesday. Oh my gosh, I binge that I finished top to bottom. Well, I kind of would like check. I was just kind of sitting there while watching it. It was a little scary for me, to be honest. The monster scared me a little bit. He popped out like he would just I don't think so. You know, I watched it with a ten year old, so yeah, it's definitely like a kid friendly, but it had some spooky part so I just kind of would check out when I needed to um. And I think

she finished it. Did it end on like a cliffhanger? No? Oh, maybe she was another episode. And then we watched White Lotus, which I paid attention to. I think I kind of know what's going on in that show too. We're gonna start We're gonna start White Lotus Tonight White Lotus too. I finished Wednesday and I was obsessed with it. I like loved that show. Great. Um, and then there was something else that I wanted to tell you too. Well, I think it's time for a break. So think on

that and we'll be back with your thoughts. Oh yeah, I remember it now, Okay, great, we'll be right back. Do you remember what you were going to be talking about? I remember now, okay. So, um, come January, Come the new Year, Come jan John one, John John One. I really want to be like my best Tanya, like my best self, and I've let my best Tanya romp around a little bit. She's wrong been, she hasn't been like on her game, you know, really paying attention to the

small things in my life. But she's coming back in. So I'm going to create like a little like um, not like a challenge, but like a January thing, like uh, I don't know, I don't know what it's going to be called, but like a January thing where we all I'm going to tailor two things that make me feel my best and so I'm gonna start making that. Now,

what are some of those things? I'm curious? Um, making my bed every single morning, working out every day, even if it's just like a walk, like just like getting out, um, because I really got away from that for like the last couple of months, and it's just like not a great feeling for me, just for my mental health. Um, like pre planning my meals like you know what I mean, thinking about my day the next day, like planning my food,

having my food prepared, making more stuff at home. I don't want to eat out as much, stuff like that. So just a little more health focus, yeah, a little more health focus. But I think it's nice you've just enjoyed yourself and not put so much pressure. It's really not an enjoyment, you know what I mean. I think you've enjoy it more than you like allow yourself to enjoy it. But I have like a layer of fog over me. And I don't like a layer of fog.

I like clear sunny skies. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I always have that layer of fog, So I don't know. Yeah, that's not fun for me. Like I'm enduring it, but it's not I'm not like working or what is it optimal? I'm not an optimal operating capacity? Well come John One. Yeah, I'm gonna be setting myself up because I need really, I need a lot of stamina because come John One, we're gonna be doing a lot of press for the book. It's just gonna be a busy month. Yeah, it's gonna be a busy month

for you. Yeah, so you better get that Domina. You're gonna get this Domina now. Yeah. I'm gonna start putting that stuff into practice now. And and so I have a couple of weeks, so you're gonna put together a little like something, a little something, Yeah, just a little something something for the month. You know, maybe like tell everybody like tag me if they're doing stuff, and you know, just create like a little fun little we got it. You're a hashtag for Tonyasmina just star. Yeah. I feel

like that's great. I probably should do the same thing. But I'm pretty like happy. I don't really feel challenging yourself pushing yourself yea to the next level. Um, But I do feel like when I played, I was telling Hayley, it felt good to like play, like do something. I ran so much yesterday, but I didn't even realize how much I was running because it was like a game.

So I was like, maybe I joined like a little like intermural sports like basketball, and then and then like I can invite my friends to come watch me weekly and see who shows up, see who supports me. Yeah that's fun. Yeah, I'll be like, hey, Tanya, I don't know what you're doing this weekend on this Sunday, but I have a softball game. I'm gonna come. Sure. I am making a sign for it to Wow. Yeah that's

the energy an. Yeah. So I think there's like a healthy balance because I remember when I was like running nine miles a day, and I was like that was a sad Tanya, Like that was a sad Tanya really, because I don't think you ever admitted that. I think I was. I was like working out and just to like because when I work out, my brain is just kind of nowhere, and so I just kind of like want to work out or run so that I could not think about anything. When was that? When was nine

post breakup, post trigger, post trigger. Yeah, we'll call trigger post trigger event. So I don't want to go back to like running nine miles a day, but I feel like a happy four would be like a nice balance, you know. Yeah. So I'm gonna do too today. Nice, just work my way back up to the four. It hurts so badly to just run, well, run, walk, do what you can. Yeah, yeah, is my steroid and Haylor after, yes, honestly,

that sounds so painful. Well, we were up all night last night, like every two hours, people would have to go outside, and she was like having stomach issues, and I realized it was horrible, Like I literally woke up thinking, add this to my checklist of children of my children. And I actually saw the stick talk the other day that this girl it was like a stitch. And this woman's like, no one tells you that after like months after you have a baby, you have like an odor,

that that so your baby can find you. And then this girl adds to her list and she scrolls down to like a hundred things of like why I don't want kids. I'm sure that's true, but I don't remember my wife having an odor after either of our children. Listen, it took me by surprise, and I too was like hm, hm hmmm. Maybe we have a Roora Quopo coming up this week on the podcast, and maybe you can ask her some of your parenting questions. Yeah, I don't much as if you have an vote or after you gave birth,

feels personal. It feels a little bit personal. But we'll see how where the conversation leaves. But um, yeah, she apparently chicken. You said it's not good for the Sunny. I don't know. Sunny has an allergic reaction to chicken. So chicken. And I think what happened was my sister's dog had a bone and I think it had like a chicken flavor or something. And Phoebe's been chewing on that like the past two days because I didn't give her anything different all night last night, she tried to

get down. I'd let her down, she'd go outside, use the bathroom, come back in, repeat, And Hayley woke up a few times for it in solidarity. But I think she got a little more sleep than I did. Nice, So that's parenthood for dogs. I get it. Also, Um, I was just thinking about this because we were talking. Hayley has telling me about a friend that she has and she was with this guy for a long time and he she found out that he was cheating the

whole time. And this girl was like stunning, like a ten and she was like she has an amazing personality, she's successful, she has her own company, and then she showed me him and and then the fact that he was also a loser who was cheating, and then he was just like not even physically, you know, Like I was just like, why is it? I feel like I always see women who are like tense, that's settle for

men who are not. And I'm not even talking about looks wise, I'm talking about personality that like cheat on them or treat them poorly. But yeah, I never see a man who I would say is like a ten settle for a woman who is like less than you know what I'm saying. More often than not, I see a woman who is like top notch settled for a who is not well. I just think it's because like women are prettier in general, Like I feel like a

lot of guys are just kind of like ugly. No, I don't think that's I wonder if it's something to do with like we get to like make ourselves like you know, up and do what we want, and you know, guys are just kind of like no, I their hair.

I don't even think it's anything to do with just physical But I just do think that there's something I just wonder if there's a psychology of like how And this might be like a stereotype, but like women yearning for love and relationship and emotional connection and are more willing to settle for something that's not great because we have well simon to be alone. But it's like if you, like, I think that there is like this biological clock in the back of every woman's head that thinks, like I

need to find someone. I need to find someone, I need to have my baby, and you have my baby, and like people think of that like as early as thirty, like if I don't do it but for thirty, like I'm screwed, which is like not the case, but I think there is this like warped perception of that reality. So I think if you're dating somebody and it's like, oh, now now is the time, like I'm just gonna do

with this guy. But if you're not talking about looks, there's plenty of guys that settle for someone because she's hot, but it's actually nowhere near attend in terms of personality. That's so true that we were just talking about looks. Let's say we are talking about women will settle for a man who is lesson But my thing is if a guy is less than in the looks department but has an amazing personality, I feel like that Trump's absolutely because because men are more shallow than women are, but

men would not. I don't feel like a lot of men will day a woman who but like, I'm way

more drawn to. Like if if I were to meet someone, which specifically speaking about like men, and I was to meet a guy and he was like really really hot but had like no personality or was like we'll lose it, like didn't wasn't funny or like engaging, I wouldn't much rather date a guy who like maybe was like less physically attractive on the scale of But I also think I think attractiveness is like relative, you know what I mean.

Like we're all attracted to like different people, right, and a lot of it is based I think more on personality. Like when I was younger, I think I was more vain and shallow, but like as I've gotten older, I'm like, you want to spend time with someone who like makes you laugh and feels engaged in conversation. But I'm just saying I noticed so many more times where like women will settle for less and date men who don't even

deserve an ounce of their time. Yea, And is there the element there of the bad boy or a guy who knows a little aloof towards the relationship that they're drawing. Yeah, I never I've never been that gale. But it seems like a common It does seem like a common thing. I don't get it. I would weigh rather steady at you than like scary sal Yeah, she wanted that pain. She didn't know. Yeah, but a lot of people want. Yeah, he wanted he wanted a bride. I was chasing my

own fame, making my name, he says something. He was sun bed night rain, he was on the cloud. No, Tanya, you're literally not saying any of the comfortable. I wanted that pain, yes, yeah, I don't like I liked the pain for a long time. Not really the pain. The chase. So yeah, I've never wanted the chase. I'd rather have like a dead carcass. Yeah, we talked about this dead carcass. No chase. No, I don't need a fox flying through

the valley. I need a dead coyote. Just I wonder if there's like an in between like just something that's not dead but is Yeah, yeah, like a hobbling hobbling yeah, tobbling dear. Yeah, but he doesn't need to be running all No, it does not need to be running. But I do think there's something there with the like the biological clock of like, Okay, maybe I don't have time to wait for Mr Perfect or you know Ms this Perfect. Yeah, because I do. I think it. I think it happened.

I like I see a lot of more women now like having babies on their own. Like I've met so many, and I think the past year women that have wanted to have babies that they're successful, have their lives together and are like I want to have a baby. I'm gonna get a donor and I'm going to do this on my own, which I think is awesome. I think it's better to do it on your own than with like some loser dude. That's how I feel too. But yeah, I think that's it. I think it's a good theory.

I was just so. I think we're on the up and up as a female species. I do too. I do too, do you I think so? But I think it's like not, it's not all one sided, like I know that there's all different relationships and sometimes it's the woman who sucks, and sometimes that's the man who sucks, or maybe it's a female female relationship, and you know,

you just know, it's just people are different. But I think a lot of people also get married super young, were their immature and they don't like think about like actual things. Yeah, but I don't matter, You're right. I think I just recently have heard more about these amazing women who I'm like, why did he why why did

he even get the chance to cheat on her? You know, I think a lot of it comes from again young immature, like I know, great man that went down a wrong path, because that's just what was It was like the time you know what I mean, forever to mature. We've talked about that. So it was like not thinking with the head,

not that head. Correct. So I feel like I need to address something because there's a lot of scuttle in the Facebook group, the scrubbing and Facebook group because I posted this photo of Becca squeezing me on the carpet at the at jingle Ball and I like, circled your hand because I and I wrote felt significan can't because it was Becca, like squeezing me into her, which is like the death grip, which is usually what I give to her. This happened, correct, and so I did that.

But what people were assuming was because I circled your ring finger and said, like felt significant, like you got engaged or something. So I want to debunk those rumors. Yeah, let's go ahead and clear that up. I am not engaged. Yes, I'm going to clear that up right now. Yeah, let's clear that up. Yeah. I had a few messages about it too. I was like, They're like, what does this mean? And I was like, I think it just means I'm hugging her heart, which I enjoy hug. I'm like a hug.

I'm not really, but it's the death grip. It was the death grip that felt significant. But I feel like when I give hugs, I give like tight hugs. I'm not like, I'm not a weak hugger. M. I'm not a weak HUGGERA but like when when you're like hanging all over me, like when we're side by side, maybe I'm not as like affectionate in that regard, but when I give you a hug, I'm a good hugger. Like

this this felt significant. Nothing worse than a weak hug, you know, when someone barely hugs yours like I would have rather just not. I don't know have to do anymore. I don't have to hug people or shake their hand or kiss them like. I don't like shaking hands. And I wish we could get rid of that altogether. Other hug too, because I'm I don't want your germs in my hands, that might be in my mouth and my eyes.

I'd rather hug you. Yeah, And if you don't want to hug, dab exactly, but not bad but dab definitely not bab please, but yeah, the handshake has really thrown me off. Um now those are back. Nobody's even hesitating abu those anymore. Everyone's shaking hands now. You know what we're not hesitating about anymore, answering some emails. Oh my gosh, let's take a break and we'll be right back. Okay, all right, we are back with some emails. Mark. I know you're down, but I'm great. My voice is not,

that's all it is. It's freaking out Tanya, and I'm sorry she's the one coughing though. I don't know if you've heard that, but yeah, unwell but on medications, So I'm glad you're here anyway. This is from anonymous. I'm twenty eight and I was asked to be in two of my good friends weddings and they're on the same day. They within driving distance, but like three hours away from

each other. One is a friend from college who has her wedding venue that it's a place to stay in the venue for the wedding party, for the whole weekend. She asked me to be in her wedding. Another is best friend from high school. I didn't realize they're on the same day, so I said, you have to both. Where do I go? What do I do? How do I tell the wrong person? Wait? So one of them asked her to be in and the other invited her to it. Yes, I mean, I think I would go

for the one whose wedding I'm in. I agree. How do you tell the other person you're out after you've already said yes? I would just say I had an absolute brain fart and I committed to being in a wedding on the same day of your wedding and it's a three hour drive. I just realistically, there's there's you don't sometimes like you commit to stuff, You're like, yes, I'll totally be there. These are people that are really important to me. Yes, I'll be there. Yes, I'll be there.

You don't really look at dates or pay attention to that kind of stuff, and then you're like, oh my gosh, so you can say I love you. I didn't even hesitate to say yes, because of course I want to be there. But I'm in a wedding that exact same day. I wish I could duplicate myself and be at both, but I cannot. Unfortunately, I think I read this wrong. The first line is I was asked to be in two of my good friends weddings and they're on the

same Well, that changes things. One is a friend from college. Friend she mentioned that includes a place to stay, So I'm getting the vibe that the other one doesn't have those amenities, and that's the decision. It's a key factory. What would you do, Becca if you were asked to be in two weddings on the same day, two people that were important to you. I mean, I just think I would have to figure out logistically which one makes more sense, Like is one closer to home? Like without

me having to travel? Is one I don't know, just come down to details, not friendship. Well yeah, I mean if if well, I don't think it's about friendship because I think if there was one obvious greater than on these two, she wouldn't be writing in right, Here's what I think. I think she said yes to one and then said yes to the second one she knows she used to commit to the first one to the second. I think you're right. I think I gotta do what

you gotta do. So does she go to the one she wants to be in or the one that she committed to first goes to the one she wants to be in. I think, shitty it is. That's not They also don't know about each other's weddings, so they don't know which you committed to first. So you can do the brain fart excuse. You can make up a different like I could say, oh my gosh, my mom's having surgery. I don't know, but you is bad bad karma, I would say, I agree. I think you just tell whichever

one you're not going to go to. Hey, I made a huge mistake. I committed, Like Tanya said, I really want to be there, but I committed to this one first, and I I feel horrible. I would love to celebrate you, you know, once everything settles down from the wedding, and or maybe maybe there's something before the wedding that you could be a part of and help with, like Machette the Bachelorette. Yeah, just like offer yourself to be a part in some ways since you can't make it to

the wedding. That's what I would do. Well, would you do? You can't, you can't clone yourself. I don't know what I would do. This would be a real humdinger for me. You just shut down and don't go to either. Yeah, I'm just like, I'm out both of you. I'm out. I would probably do the person that I'm closer to, if it was if there was a difference, if there's a difference the person you're closer to. But it seems like all things being equal, to college friend would be

better the closer than the high school friend. That's what I was thinking. You know, you never know. You can't put a time stamp on friendship. Here's another anonymous I want her at Eastern sand the podcast. Don't invite me to your party. I don't want to come. That's the same with me. I'm forty. I have a small group of friends that get together a few times a year for dinner, but no real close friends. I know I've done this to myself because I'm very introverted. I hate

small talk. I feel awkward trying to think of things to talk about, and as a results, I just feel like I'm too boring to talk to. I see Becca and Tiny with all these wonderful close friendships, and I'm so envious. Any advice. Um So she's saying she doesn't want to go, but she does want friend because she's introverted and she hates she just feels awkward about the whole thing trying to keep conversation going. It just seems

like effort. I think that that is also something that comes like once you once you commit to like, Okay, this is my personality. I'm introverted. I don't like being around a lot of people. It gets harder to make yourself do more outgoing things. You know what I'm saying, Like, once you like accept like okay, I'm an introvert because I used to it too. I was like very much a homebody. I didn't want to do anything. But once I started like having to go or forcing myself to

go to things. I found I got better at wanting to go and wanting to be there, And like I think. I also, there's this book. I'm pulling it up now so that you can read it. No, this, No, honestly, this is such I think everyone should read this book

because I always revert back to it. It's called How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, and he talked about that, yeah, and he talks about like how you interact with people and how you like make connect with people even if it's not your natural personality to do that, and how sometimes it's not just about like she said, I'm too boring to talk to, but sometimes it's about like listening and asking about other people,

like what do you want to know about them? Like what's something that piques your interests about their home or where you're at, and just like learning to have conversations.

So I think, honestly, like I know it sounds lame, but like reading books and like there are skills and how you learn to connect with people, and I think it there are certain things that draw people towards you, but also does not to necessarily be like social events and stuff Like if you have a hobby, like let's say like working out, you can find somebody at your gym or like at your workout class that you see there often, and you just say, like, hey, do you

want to get a juice after a class? And then you just like get a juice after a class, and that's like your socializing and you build a friendship that way. It doesn't always have to be like like part parties or concerts or like events. It can be stuff that's already kind of something that you enjoy doing and then you just kind of make friendships in that. I mean, that's how I like, I don't know, it's weird, Like

that's how I'm at Raquel. We met in in our Bible study and so it was like we met at that and then we would just kind of meet for coffee, you know, whenever I was like around where her work was and stuff like that. So it's like we would meet for coffee and then that turned into like other things. You know. Yeah, I I think I agree, Like I don't think you need to go to like massive parties if that like ragers or like things that you can

invited to on Facebook or something. Well, I think she needs more one on one time, like she gets together this a little group, maybe one or two of those people. You like them a lot, and you could schedule some time together that might help create a better bond than you're getting through this group thing that you're not. I like intimate. I like one on one hangouts better than events.

Personally myself too. I also think though jumping back, piggybacking off what you said, like knowing what you're interested in, and maybe if you're like I know, she doesn't necessarily say she wants more friends. But if you have an interest that's like a niche thing, like let's say you like to paint or something, and you go to like a local cloud painting class or something, you immediately have something in common with the other people that are in

that room. So I think, like putting yourself out there and going to things that you you know or personal to you, but open up your interests to other people, I think is a good good start. Yeah, and shout out to Dale Carnegie. That book came out in nineteen thirty six and it's still getting what a shout out on de scribbing in podcast six Dead from with seventy years and his Legacy lives On. It's so good and

it's so like topical. And then the other one I would recommend is a hundred and one Essays that will change the way you think. That one's by Brianna West. I'm gonna start reading a lot more, by the way, that's a good goal. Yeah, Robby and I are going to read in bed before we go to sleep instead of watch TV. And you consider fiction, Tanya, I've gotten into this many times over the years. She will not read fiction helpful help, which to me is to me

that's paralysis by analysis. You just you know, I like to grow, I like to exp fan reading a book. What's the difference if they're both a good story, what's the difference between watching White Lotus or reading a really good book. I love a good fiction book. It is like the best escape. I don't want an escape. But why do you allow yourself to watch fiction television shows? Why do you only watch self help documentaries? Because when

I'm watching TV, I don't want to think. When I'm reading, I want to like think, or I'll just go to sleepy. I'm just saying, it's some really good books out there that I've recommended you over the years and refused to even go like my choices. We had a whole book club on the Facebook group called Bookmark. There's a lot of fun book Mark. Yeah, I'm gonna make my own book club, do it. They would love that. And right now I'm reading a Hashimoto book. It's great. I'm learning

so much about like gluten, and that's great. Yeah, you know what, Mark, I'm getting smarter and you're just escaping. But I think I think watching TV is is also an escape. So you do like to escape. You just I like to get smart and escape, Okay, in tandem, not escape and escape. I like a lot. I like escape, escape and get smart. Yeah that's good too. Yeah, thank you so much. Well, after that debate, which I did not know about you that you don't read fiction books,

learned something new every day. I really do, I really do, you know. It's cute. Actually, Paulina was reading the advanced copy of my book last night. It was at my hat. It was at the house. There we go, Yeah, comes over to make cookies family dinner. First of all, I've asked for the advanced copy because I'm very an interview with her and Rickel and I haven't gotten it yet first of all, it was at the house and it

was just like on the counter. She came over for dinner and saw and she's like, oh my god, can I read it? So she read like a couple of the first chapters and she was like, I didn't know this about you. I didn't know this about you, and like was like giving me. She's like, I didn't know what to expect because I thought it was gonna be very like churchy, and you know, she was like pleasantly.

She was like really really enjoyed it and like learn new stuff about me, which I found to be funny because I think podcast listeners will have heard almost every single story. Oh interesting. But she's like, I didn't know how you got your first job at Kiss and like I didn't know you know how that is your best friends listen to the podcast. Paulina doesn't listen regularly. I told her we had the debates. I think she listened to it none. Yeah, same, sad, that's probably better talk

freely to do not listen to the podcast. Maybe I feel like he sneaks them in every now and then. Yeah he does, but like on a regular he does not because someone told me not to listen to something I would be tuning in weekly. Yeah, because that's just a little bit about me. He respects my boundaries good. But he does watch all the clips on Instagram, so yeah, those are good. There won't be a lot of clips today because we started the video quite late, but if

there is anything, happy, happy to watch them. All right, Well, that's it for today, and I hope you have a great week, everybody, Mark, I hope you feel better. And then the beginning and the end, all right, goodbye everybody, we love you, have a great week. Love you Bye.