Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Hello everybody, we are scrubbing.
It scrubbing in and we have a very special guest today on the podcast.
She's quiet.
She's not gonna say much.
She doesn't say a whole lot.
She's not gonna answer emails.
But she emmotes with her eyes. Correct Sonny rad Sonny Rad. Yeah, it is here in the room with the building.
She's very confused while we're all clapping.
Is she cool clapping?
Yeah?
Wow?
So you know what, like they tell you when you get when you get a puppy, to expose them to all the sounds and stuff'd Robbie. Robbie made fun of me because I would sit in front of YouTube and I would just google like fireworks and vacuums and clapping and like all like moms, gunshots, airplanes. I would just YouTube all these sounds and stuff. And so I exposed her to like everything under the sun.
And it worked because fireworks.
Yeah.
I actually thought of this yesterday because.
I was vacuuming and Phoebe was like freaked out, and I was like, I bet tany exposed sound into the vacuum cleaner.
But you know what I forgot what the blender and y'all use that a lot with my almond milky. Yeah, it's like an every other day situation so.
That some time.
Yeah, I'm feeling really tired today, exhausted today. We had a little ce celebratory dinner last night for your birthday. I don't know why I'm so tired though I had one drink. It's not like I was like raging.
I had two drinks.
But are we at that eight or are we at that age?
I think.
Because I'm feeling it. But I have to say, there is something so fun about having like your best friends at one table. You know, like, yeah, because you all know each other, you're all friends. But like it's not that I have all my best friends hang out together all the time.
No, you're like the connector.
I'm the connector. Yeah, So it's like it's such a great feeling to have literally all my best friends at one table. Like I was just so happy.
It was such It was a really fun group because everyone gets along. It's easy conversations, crazy but fun.
Yeah, and like everybody's reaction to everybody it was just and like to get Brad out on a school night. I was So what happened was I didn't really know who was going to be there. I thought I was just going to dinner with Robbie, Pauline, and Sophia. Yeah, and earlier on when all the plans were being arranged, I thought maybe this was like some proposal thing because
everybody was being a little shady. Quickly found out that was not the case, and so I just thought it was going to be like a dinner with the four of us. And I show up and there's like this giant table for like ten people, and I was like, and Becca was there, and Ali was there, and then everybody kind of slowly started coming. Raquel came, Brad came, Zach came, and so it was just like all my best friends at one table, and it was like such a beautiful surprise.
Well, so last week I texted the girl group chat and I was like, Hey, let's plan a dinner for Tonya's birthday. So I'm texting you, and then Paulina texted me and she's like, Robbie says, she has a work thing and I'm like, no, not on her birthday? What? And so then and then I asked you and you're I'm like, no, she said she wanted to hang out with me, so we'll just do it like cute girls dinner. And then I asked you and you're like, oh, yeah, I'm one of this Barbie thing and I'm.
Like okay, cool.
So then I was like, maybe Robbie planned something like outside, like we were all going, like to Robbie plan something and it's like a surprise.
So there was a lot of confusion on that part.
But I'm gonna say I am happy that this dinner didn't happen on Tuesday because I would have been It's fine because it's like the end of the week. If I would have been this tired on a Wednesday would have been problematic.
Yeah.
So it ended up working out, but it was really fun. But we didn't know if it was a surprise. So I'm like texting Pauline, I'm like, wait, is this still is this a surprise? And She's like kind of, she didn't really know who's going or where it is. So I was like, you asked me what I was doing, and I was like, oh, I'm just going to dinner with Alie.
It was truth. It was it's just your dinner.
Sneaky sneaking girl.
So it was really fun.
It was really really fun.
But I do be tired.
Yeah, but I now I understand why people have weddings.
To bring all groups of people together.
Yeah, like you imagine, like a wedding, is that feeling of all your best friends at one table on crack because it's like all your favorite people in one room, you know.
See that feels overwhelming to me a little bit because that's like I got a lot of people to like mingle with. Yeah, so that aspect of the wedding doesn't like entice you.
Yeah.
No, I like the idea of everyone being together, but like when you're the host of something, it's like.
You gotta go. Did you feel that way, Like you have.
To go and like make your rounds and like make sure you see everyone and have a proper conversation.
Yeah. Yeah. Allison and I were just talking about this last night, like something else. Elson's so much better this than I. And but what she does is she especially if there's like people that came alone or like they don't know anyone else there, She's like, Okay, I know that they both just had babies, Let's get them together, introduce them be like hey both just had kids, okay.
Bye, yeah yeah, find.
A common topic, or like hey they both played basketball here.
Yeah yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
It's exhausting though as the host.
Right, Yeah, Like when it's your party and you're the star of the party, it's almost.
Like I didn't even think about it more on you, yeah.
Because it's like everyone came for you. Everyone's so excited to say hey.
Right and having a bad time.
Well, that's not your business. If they're having a bad time, yeah, that's their problem. Yeah.
If they're at a wedding and they're getting free food and free drinks, that's their problem.
If they haven't about time.
Yeah, it was fun because this was Ali's first birthday dinner with me.
Yeah yeah, yeah about a Ali journey.
Come journey. We've come along me and Ali Grant.
When did you feel like there was a turning point with you guys?
I know exactly when it was. It was JoJo's on suit launch. That's when we had like it'd been brewing for a while, like meaning brewing in a good way, Like I was like feeling her and like a different energy from her, and like we were just getting along
in a different way. And then we had this like breakthrough conversation at JoJo's swimwear launch where we kind of were like, yeah, we like we never really got along, Like we got along, but we were never friends because and she was like, yeah, it was just very work focused and just like everything was about work. And I feel like maybe the pandemic changed me or something. And so we had this breakthrough conversation and now we're just like BFFs for life.
Wow.
It really blesses me.
And I like that you try to like row me up and get me jealous about it, and like I just.
I don't want to say I don't care, but like I am like happy about it. I don't feel like envy. You know what That's called security? Secure attachment.
Yeah, that means that we both have done Ali and I have done a good job of making you securely attached in a relationship. Sure yeah, yeah, go ahead.
If you heard a distant pop sound in the back, that was Tanya.
But I will say Becca did get us this. Oh yeah. Bracelets.
Yeah, they have little little like half of hearts on them and they say BF on them.
And I have to say, I really feel like you you know my love language.
I know, Yeah, I do you do? Yeah, do you like my real?
Oh my gosh, the real.
Of fame reel of reel and then she.
Wrote this artistic poem.
Oh yeah, but I didn't mean for it to be a poem. But everyone said it was a poem. But I was just writing like my thoughts, and I guess that's that's poetry.
Yeah, it was so it was like beautiful. It was so beautiful. I couldn't get over it. I was like, Becca wrote me a poem.
I spent a lot of time on that reel because I didn't tell outside of the outside of Instagram. I could tell how to keep because there were so many parts where I needed to hear what you were saying, like the tie is high.
I have to preface that video story. Yeah, I have to preface that video because it was JoJo's bachelorette party and I was hammered. I came in for the day and it was like I show up at the house and it was just like shots, shots, shots. So I'm like toast at this point, and Beca and I for some reason decided to like leave the group and go to the beach together.
My favorite sunglasses, which I think you.
Were drunk too. I certainly it wasn't sober. Yes, yeah, okay. So we walked down to the beach together, and for some reason, we're on this rock and like I'm envisioning that. I'm like, I'm trying to set the scene like the rock sid in the in the show Big Little Eyes.
Oh yeah, yeah, the coast of Carmel.
Exactly, like I've envisioning like these high I'm on this high rock with like high waters coming at me, and like I was panicking because I couldn't get off this rock. And Becca was like on the beach watching me, like peeing, laughing, and I couldn't. I'm like this is so scary, like the tide is gonna come and sweep me away, and I'm drunk and like I was so stressed and she's just laughing at me. And then I see the video and I realized that, like.
She was a step down, not even like come to the beach water, but when we were both on the rocks before I jumped down, she goes, watch.
Out, the tote is hot, Like what is this accent?
So I needed to keep those moments in there so that people could hear the yeah, yeah, but you have a lot of funny moments, because I forgot about when you were just staring at the innocent man on the plane.
It was like he wasn't talking to me. He didn't have to. We were talking a little bit and we were engaging in a little conversation. Then he just stopped talking to me.
I was like, he's so freaked out about my eyes closed. And then like looked over and someone was just dead stare at me.
His eyes weren't closed, so.
His eyes weren't closed.
He was staring straight and he was just ignoring your sides there. Yes, my gosh, who yeah, Yeah, you're an interesting girl, and we all feel very lucky to know you.
I'm calling you friend.
I really do feel like I felt very much like people spoke my love language more this birthday than ever before. Like I got so many poems. Robbie wrote me this beautiful poem that I woke up to at like three point fifty in the morning, and I'm like sobbing and uh put like thirty six little things all over the house of reasons why he loves me. Sisney wrote me a poem and read it on the air. You wrote me this poem on Instagram. I was like everybody's really hitting.
Right, tapping into the leveling watch. Yeah, I'm so happy you had a wonderful birthday.
Yeah, it was wonderful.
Did you go over your goals and what you're letting go and whatnot?
So we're doing that. Yeah, we're doing that this weekend. We're doing the fire.
Oh nice.
Yeah, but you know I like to like brew on these things. Yeah, the celebration continues this how the weekend?
Correct? Correct.
You can't really get into that mindset on a Tuesday, you know, although I tried.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's got to be a weekend day.
Yeah. I needed like not feel pressure or like bedtime.
Did you see the Barbie movie?
No? I did not seeing it.
I noticed some of the group shots of the kiss people. I taught you it was Notori.
I know, how was a movie? And she goes, yeah, we didn't actually stay for the movie. I'm like, we were going to do a whole dinner and you didn't even go to the movie.
What the hell? So I went and I showed up, and then I was like so tired. I go there's no way I'm staying awake if I watch a movie right now, Like I knew, I wasn't gonna stay awake, so I was like, why am I even gonna like sit there and like fall asleep in the theater rather just like go home, get a good night's sleep. And I'm actually gonna go see it this weekend.
That's fun. Easton saw it. Yeah, we need a review.
It's a masterpiece, really so good. I cried three times, it's so funny.
Cried like sad, or cried laughed.
Like in motion.
Oh, it is such a perfect I am a white man and I got such a look into the female experience from that movie that completely changed my perspective. Wow, I think it's so important for women for everyone to see. Everybody but it is. Uh, it's just it's remarkable. You're going you guys are both gonna love it. I think, Wow, it's it's so good.
That's ely who I needed.
Yeah, and definitely gonna see it this weekend.
Yeah, I gotta see it. That was what I was waiting for. I needed a review that was just like solid like that. I was always going to see it, but that was really solid.
At MEA Alison Eir walk it and she just looks at me and goes, what if it sucks? What if it's really bad.
I had that feeling for a while when all the promo was going and happening. I was like, what if this movie sucks?
Do you know what? I what I got? How I'm so tired? Do you know how?
What?
My thought was, WHOA, You're gonna it? Was that simple. All I was trying to say, you know what?
My thought was what Because there's been so much promo and the whole thing has been like what if it sucks? There's been so much promo and curiosity that everyone's going to just go see it. So at least people with the promo were like, I'm curious, I want to go see it, and at the very least everyone goes to see it one time, right, because they've done so much promo that people are curious.
So it was like genius, genius.
Wow.
We bought a sixty five dollars popcorm bucket that was Barbie's car and it came with a Barbie Doll.
Shut up theater, the theater. Barbie Doll came.
It comes with a Barbie the movie Barbie Dolls. It's Margot Robvi on the on the bo That was really cool.
Uh.
The car is very funny because it's a popcrim bucket, but it's a car for the doll to sit in, so like you fill up the seats with pop, like.
You're like touching the seats while you're eating.
The like goes and like the part where the legs go so you can't reach it car you feel anything. Bucket.
That's so fun. I'm even more excited now.
It's so I bought that thing so fast.
I'm going to buy that thing so fast too.
You said sixty five, I would have spent more.
Yeah, one hundred dollars. I would have bought that. It was sixty five dollars dollars and we got a little For an extra three dollars, you get a little inflatable Barbie inner tube you can put your drink in.
Wow.
Steal, yeah, steal. That's crazy, Yes it is.
I might do that just for the experience.
And you know what, No, I don't because I tried to clean out my house well because my mom fly is flying in today. So I was like, you know, like when your mom's coming over, there's this like I gotta clean the house, like it's gotta be she can't think she raised.
A slop, right, Yeah, So I.
Was like deep cleaning yesterday and I was like, I just have so much stuff, Like I was getting rid of bags and bags, and then there was still no room for stuff. So I need to go back. And just like sometimes I go, well what if I what if I need this?
Or what if I you don't need it?
Like you said you gave away pants that you regret.
One pair of pants I regretted giving away in my entire life is pretty good odds.
I'm just saying, do you still regret the pants?
Yeah? Because they were hot pink pants and I was like, I wish I could. I would have worn these to see Barbie and for various other industry events. But yeah, there's this one pair of pink pants that I regret giving away. But I love giving away. I don't like having so many things, you know, join the minimalist side.
I want to be on the minimalist side. Yeah, because think about it.
Want you wear one fifth of your closet? There's stuff that just sits in there. Why do you let us sit in there? Somebody else can enjoy it? You know what I mean?
I know I'm with you. I don't know why I do what I do.
Tanya I know, but do it in rounds.
Okay, thanks so much for the advice, Pep talk.
Yeah, there's this ig account that Hannah has brought to our attention and we need to get into it, but we're gonna take a break first, all right. So on our rundown today, Hanna put Instagram account Puppy Melons. So I'm like, what the heck are we talking about. If you have your phone with you right now, please take a moment and go look up the account Puppy Melons. It is an Instagram account that looks like an innocent dog account.
Puppies.
Just the whole page is dog photos, right, puppies galore.
But every single one.
Of those photos of puppies, if you swipe, there's another photo of a girl with uh half naked girl, half naked girl or like always in a swimsuit with big boobs on display.
And so we were.
So this looks like if you have a partner and they follow this dog account, it looks very innocent. You wouldn't think anything of it. Cute puppies is what is controversial. But every photo has a swipe, And we have a dilemma here because there are two people in this room who have a friend whose boyfriend and or husband is following this account.
It's so awkward and uncomfortable.
But like Julie, is there a world in which they just think it's this?
Like, no, no, this is this is the this is the Delilah's.
Kindness because like, honestly though, oh my, in the multiverse, that universe exists, but it's out of fourteen million wins where they know that it's boobs.
I think there's no way these guys are following this account thinking it's just puppies.
I might, oh my god, Like if I saw this account, I'd probably follow it from Sonny's account, like not realizing.
You don't go click on the photo and then see that there's another one in.
Swipe Maybe not.
That feels very every single post there's a second one. I'm good, Yeah, I just like to see.
People's first, you know.
Yeah.
Forward.
The problem The question is do we notify our friends that their significant other is following this account.
This is the issue I have with it because I talk to my friend about it, whose boyfriend I see is following this account, and I'm talking to her about how I consider it a red flag if a guy I'm interested in just follows a bunch of Instagram models like I get the X so quickly, and she plays Devil's advocate and she's always like, it's just guys, it's fine, Like it doesn't really matter. My boyfriend does it too. Oh, but I don't think she knows, like to the extent.
I think it's more embarrassing if a guy's following an account like this that's trying to hide it rather than just blatantly following.
Yeah, it's just like weird.
But if if he's following a lot of other accounts where it is Instagram models and then he's following this one, it's like what's the difference. But if there's a guy who doesn't follow any Instagram models and then he's following this one, that feels worse because that feels like he's really trying to keep it a secret.
It who started this account just messed up? Evil.
It's so evil.
When I they started it in twenty nineteen.
Oh my gosh. When I discovered this account yesterday, I clicked on the following so you could see mutuals. And I have twenty two mutuals of these guys that I'm friends with, ninety percent of them having girlfriends following this account.
I'm just like, God, are.
There any any guys that you have dated or been on dates with that are following it?
Oh? That's nice.
I wouldn't be surprised if there are other accounts like does not exist?
I'm like shocked to see that. I don't have any any mutuals I know. I was like, does Robbie follow this account? Sure? Does do? Let's dotical?
This is good.
So you see that Robbie's following the account? Would you or I see that Robbie's following the account? Would you want me to tell you?
Yeah? You would?
I think?
So what would your like? What would you do about it?
I'd be like, why are you following this creepy account? You sick of? And That's what I'd say.
So it'd just be like it just.
Yeah, I mean yeah, of course, it's not like anything make or break.
Yeah, that's kind of how I like, I think if it, well, I would be see I think if I if let's say Haley was following this account, okay, yeah, and she also followed just like a ton of like hot bikini models, I'd be like, well, what's new another one? But if she had. She was like, I don't follow anyone like that, like I would. I don't want to see that. And then I saw she was following this account. I'd be like, why are you being sneaky? You know?
Is that I've never had that conversation with Robbie, like do you follow weird Instagram bikini models? Like I've never had that. I've never had that conversation with him because i mean, I like, see when you're like in bed, like scrolling through Instagram and stuff, you kind of see their feed, and I've never seen anything. I've only seen one thing that was like bikini boobs and it was one of my friends that he followed. So I'm like, all right, fine, fair like who's that? He's like your friend?
I was like, okay, why right, right, Well it was like after a weekend. Yeah. Yeah, but I've never had that conversation of like do you follow any.
Yeah, but you'd want to know for this one.
Yeah, well now I kind of just want to know. In general, the.
Candle Worves has been open. It's just interesting. It's a it's a it's interesting. It's very interesting. Yeah, but it poses the conversation, would that be something you want to know or are you kind of indifferent about it? I think it's a because the sneaky part goes to character, right.
Yeah, but it might not be sneaky. Am I just like some you know what I mean, Like some people don't care.
No, that's what I'm saying.
Yeah, Like if it's like her friend's her friend who's like I already.
Follows hot chicks whatever.
Yeah, but if it's like if it's someone who you feel like they've defended themselves and I don't even follow any of these girls, and then.
You saw that, that's different.
Yeah, it's not like they're following sunny Girl the Kavapoo. No, that's a wholesome is as wholesome as it gets.
I don't understand if they follow a bunch of bikini girls and then this, what's the point of following this if you're already just follow a bunch of bikini girls, like just really an added thrill like oh maybe here's a dog, Oh never mind. Like I just don't understand it, Like I think you only follow this if you want to hide that you're looking at boobs. And I'm confused by it.
Yeah, very peculiar.
How you bring it up to the if you see your friends partner following this, what do you say?
Do you like?
Do you go hate? I thought you should know.
I would be like, you know what I would do? I would go I was like, do you ever have to have the conversation about so and so following like hot girls or like liking hot photos? And if she's like, oh, no, I haven't, And I'd be like, there's this account on Instagram. Can you believe that there's an account that looks like a dog account?
And every photo has a swipeover? And I would be like, I would be shocked.
I would be devastated if my significant other was following this account and then they're naturally just gonna go check wooth. Although if it was like someone that like Tanya, I think I'd be like, yo, I found this account.
Robbie's following it? Are you aware?
Yeah?
Go talk to your man.
Yeah.
There's got to be a certain level of like friendship to do that though.
Yeah, Otherwise I'd plant the seed.
What if I turned Sunny's account into like a like a what.
If it's just like males and like men and like uh like speedos?
No, yeah, like I do like the first picture of Sonny and then you swipe over no, and it's like me, like my boobs out, yeah, yeah, just you my own felon that really yeah? Or is there a world in which this actually was a puppy account and then it just switched over so people might be following it because it was puppies and then they switched it over that.
I do like thinking about I'm not trying to defend this, but because I think it's also delutional.
But there are times where like it'll be like an account where it's like oh, people following down, or like a meme account or something, and then they sell it to someone else for the followers. Right, Like there's times where I'm like, I'd never followed this, like Honda race car account and I realized it was like a funny monkey account that it sold it. See that can happen. I don't think that's happening in this case.
Could it could have been a puppy account and then they just like flip the format and then like all these people were following it and then there's not really on Instagram, so they don't like unfollow it because they just like don't know.
That's what I think I love the beautiful, beautiful way of thinking.
You think that too, don't you, Sunny, She says, I know.
What Puppy Melons has been and always will be.
It will be dark.
Okay, we're gonna take a break and then we'll be back with emails. All right, we are back. This first email is tough eastn't.
Yes, yes, yes it is. I see a disclaimer there. This is from anonymous disclaimer. I completely take responsibility for looking places I shouldn't have been, but now I cannot stop thinking about it, and I need to know what I should do. Oh boy, Bobby Mellins is in this. I'm going to visit it.
So.
My boyfriend and I have been going through somewhat of a rough patch for a few reasons, none of them having anything to do with other girls or distrust. Well, I was in control of music the other night on his phone and a notification popped up that said, for the sake of this post, Tiffany liked your Venmo payment. I clicked on it and he paid her fifteen dollars and all the notes said was thank you. I've never heard him talk about this girl or even heard her
name before this. I immediately got anxious and looked at his text messages and searched her name. The only thing that came up with him texting his friend asking for a number back in February. He does have her contact save now, but there were no messages between them, so I'm assuming he deleted them. I don't know anyways, he follows her on Instagram, and so do several other people I know, so I'm not sure what to make of
this or if I'm overthinking it again. I know I shouldn't have been nosy, but I know and have met so many of his girlfriend and I have never even heard any mention of this girl. What would you do.
This?
For me?
Is where communication is so valuable in a relationship, because in my mind I feel like you should feel safe to go to him and say, hey, when I had your friend the other night playing the music, I saw this notification pop up.
I don't know who Tiffany is. I don't want a spiral.
I've already like been in my head about it, but I wanted to come to you so that I don't go further into the spiral. And I wanted to just make sure it's nothing that I should be worried or insecure about or like, who is Tiffany? Why? Why was there a Venmo exchange between the two of you. Can you just calm calm, calm me down. Yeah, because if there's nothing there, he'll be able to say, oh, we are with a group of friends and this our friend Tiffany.
She paid for the meal and we all vemote her back. And if it's a.
Thing, then it gives you the opportunity to see how he reacts and also gives him the opportunity to be honest about what's going on. But I think you spiraling in your head isn't going to do anything. I think it's like you need to have a conversation about it, regardless of the direction that it goes. I think you just need to say, like, hey, I saw this. And I don't even think you need to say I snooped through your phone. I think you just say it popped
up while I was holding the phone. Yeah, and I'm curious. Yeah, you don't have to go through all the details.
You can say like when we were listening to music riding in the car, I saw this girl like your Venmo, And because we are going through a rough patch, I am feeling and you can say, like I am feeling a little insecure and I've been in my mind has been kind of like going all over the place. Can you like tell me who this girl is or like what that was? Like you know, and like you can say, like it's okay to be in a place that you
feel insecure and you can admit that, you know. And I think also if he is understanding and you guys are in a good relationship, he's also going to understand like he has made like he in part because of the rough patch is causing you to be in this place of insecurity a little bit too, you know what I mean. So hopefully it will go in a positive direction or he could get very defensive. But I'm gonna hope that he's a good guy and that it will be an easy explanation.
Yeah, I think in the greater scheme of like things you see on the phone, this is like best case scenario. Like I've been in this position many times where like I was at some work thing and like someone was getting coffee for everyone and I'd have venmo someone named Gabrielle that I've never talked to you before or since.
Yeah, true, I've done that stuff too that I've like Venmo, I don't even know who I ven mooded anyware.
And it's like he said, she said, the only thing she saw was that he had asked her his friend for her number, but it could have been like a work thing or something like, hey, I needed to reach out to her, and like, the reason why you've never heard of her is because he probably there's nothing there righted. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was it, So I think it's worth the conversation, just honest conversation.
Yeah, and it's gonna suck. You're gonna put your tail between your legs and like say, no.
I don't even I was holding your phone when I was doing music and it popped up.
I just looked down.
Okay, yeah, all right, Well.
I think we fixed that problem. Uh yeah, wow solid if she solved anonymous. Moving on to Emma, I just have a general question that I hope sparks some interesting conversations. Wouldn't that be nice? Emma? How has social media affected the way you view relationships and partners? These past few days have been coming across posts that glorify unhealthy acts and relationships, such as girl being mad at her boyfriend
for hanging out with his boys. Boys covering up their girlfriends when they wear something that shows a little more skin, girls blowing up their boyfriend's phone when they're out, and so on. These made me realize I have an amazing relationship which has none of the crap mentioned above, and I'm grateful for the space I get to be myself. I also come across posts that highlight that love isn't enough, and those posts are indeed a lesson, and I save them.
I'm confused by this.
I think she's just wanting to know what how relationship affects the way you view how social media affects the way that you view relationships and partners, Like I feel like sometimes like social media is so easy to glorify the highs, but also sometimes people share so much of their relationship that I'm like, don't put this, Like this is a lot, yeah, like the really dark traumas, It's like, maybe share that with your personal your friends, because it's
like you're opening something that's already a wound up to like public scrutiny and more opinions on it. And I think talking about like, oh yeah, there's like we're going through this hard time, like you know, when Haley was on tour, like I was had a really hard time, you know, But I'm not like going out and sharing the details because that's not everyone's business, you know. Like there are so and things that I think are valuable to keep into your relationship, and I think sharing the highs.
Is like beautiful as well.
But I also think that social media makes it easy to share the highs when you're going through the low, so it glorifies this people like I'm so jealous of this. And then I saw a girl post the other day that her wedding video went viral. She and her wife got married, and in the video, her wife is like sobbing and everyone's like, if my if the person I married doesn't cry like that, like I don't want it, And she was like that person was cheating on me
and like was so abusive and like no one knew what. Yeah, so it's I think what she's saying is like social media can cause like such a different idea of what is really going on.
Yeah, well, I don't even think it's social media. I think it goes so much deeper than that because I know and I've had to work in therapy a lot on this because I had this so may call it delusional expectation of love and what a relationship is. And it was like I had that vision that we all had of like the Prince Charming coming to save me with the glass slipper and like at midnight, I'm going to be a princess and like it's gonna be happily ever after. Like that was my reality of what a
relationship is. And don't get me wrong, I do have those moments with Robbie like I do sometimes I feel like I'm like floating on a cloud. But the relationship also has had some really crazy challenges and like some like real life stuff, you know that like I just wasn't equipped for because I had this delusional perception of what love was, you know, like we all say it
love conquers all, and like what's the other one? If he wanted to he would and like all these things that we say that are like actually really not true. Do you know what I mean? Someone can love you and still was it. It's it's interesting, it's interesting we're this close to profound. No, but I think it is profound.
I think it is profound because I like really had to grow through all that like I had to really knock down all these preconceived notions that I had, and like, I think social media just adds to it, you know what I mean, Like it's it goes deeper than the fairy tales, Like we're seeing it day in day out, you know, Like I follow Ali Fedotowski and I'm like, if my kids don't act like that, Like you know
what I mean, Like you follow these people that show this. Again, it's it's not their entire life, it's a fraction of it, and you get this perception in your head of what you know, being a wife or being a mom like looks like when it's really not the reality. So it's like it's all kind of screwing with us.
Yeah, I think social media, like you nettle on the head, it's a fraction of someone's life. Like it's a minuscule You're getting a glimpse into someone's life, and they only choose what you what they want you to see, whether that's a good, the bad, the ugly one, whatever it is. So I think especially with TikTok and like the skits and stuff, there's even more. Sometimes it's like supposed to be funny banter, but it can maybe glorify like unhealthy things.
I don't know.
I think that's just having the awareness that social media isn't the same as real life all the time.
Yeah, And I think also to just know that like everybody deals with challenges and nobody's perfect.
No, and love is wonderful, It's such a gift. And also.
Relationships take effort and work, and I think the I think the love is what provokes the work.
Yeah, it's funny because I realized I think I don't remember when it was, but I was like posting robbing a lot of my social media because I'm like, we're together all the time, do you know what I mean? Like he's with me when I work out, he's with me when I go to sleep, like he's there. And I was like, you know what, I don't want to give that person exception that like I always have my significant other or that I'm nothing without my significant other there,
do you know what I mean? So I started to get very intentional about like not having him in like every single photo and every single video and like having my own identity and my identity with him. You know, it's interesting, It is interesting, it is.
Yeah.
The slow spin Okay, I have to go, all right. I get my mom from l a X, which is truly an actor act of love. Yeah, in the Los Angeles area for someone we love you.
All you need to say. She loves you all too, loves you. I love you, I love you.
Bye bye by