Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rep An iHeartRadio podcast. Hello, everybody, we are scrubbing in scrub a dub dub today. We have someone who's going to really help clear the air on all this producer stuff because we have one of the executive producers of all iHeartRadio podcasts. That's right, and she is Danielle Romo.
Yeah, I'm so happy to be scrubbing in guys.
Okay, this is the first time, like officially, officially.
Yeah, I've been on a couple times, but not like this. So we're gonna set you up for everybody that's listening. So you started as a promo assistant iHeartRadio.
What year was that, twenty seventeen, And actually technically I was an intern for Ryan's production company before that, Ryan Productions. Yeah, so that was kind of how it all happened.
Then you went to NBC Universal and then you came back to iHeart to oversee all the podcasts. You married John in October of twenty eighteen.
John. It's funny. This is actually really funny because his Instagram handle is j. Yeah, it's John.
I knew it was John, and I'm looking at this and I'm like, I have said the wrong name.
If you say Ja, if you say Jay, he thinks you're cool because his entire family calls him j Oh. So it's like it's you're kind of You're kind of in.
I was like, I have called him the wrong name.
So okay, people call Robbie Ryan all the time because his instagram is r y like r Yadigar. It's like Rya, so everybody thinks his name is Ryan, which is very funny. So they got married in twenty eighteen, two thousand. This year marks twelve years together. And then you guys gave first gave birth to your first child, Mateo on October first, twenty twenty three. And the whole reason why I wanted to have you on the podcast is because to me, I find the idea of maternity leave so wildly fascinating.
I think, especially when for like a career woman like you, who you work so hard, you work day in, day out, and you've been like so career driven, and then you have a baby and then what you just like turn off all your emails and you just go.
Into like this abyss and then you just have to come.
Back to it.
Like I just the whole thing.
I remember when you came back from matruly, but I wanted to ask you all these questions, and I was like, I think this could be an interesting conversation on the podcast.
Yeah. No, for sure, you just like re emerge back into your old life, or at least try to. But I remember Tanya came to visit me maybe when Matteo was like eight weeks old, and she's like, tell me everything. She like looked into my soul and she was like, how was it? What happened in the delivery? Like asking me all these questions. I was like, Tanya, another day, It's just another day. Today's the day. Ye wait.
So I've never even thought about the idea that you go on maternity, Like do you just turn everything off?
You have to?
Yeah, so, and it's not like my choice. So literally the before you like before you deliver, you have to give hr like a date of your last day, if you even know what that is. Some people don't, obviously, but once they find out that you're taking your maternity day or leave starting this day the very that very day, they completely shut off all your emails, so like you
have no access to anything. Yeah, you're just cut off and then they tell you your coworker or they tell your coworkers and your boss that they can't reach out to you and about work or anything like that. And hopefully some people like abide by that.
But but it's kind of weird too because a lot of for a lot of people, your social circle is your coworkers totally silence.
Yeah, like our boss, she was like, how am I not going to be able to talk to you? But I think they do that from like a legality perspective, but but yeah, I mean, uh yeah. So the day that I went on attorney leave, which was on a Monday, and I delivered him that Saturday, I had no access to my emails.
That was it.
Bye.
And I remember this with Sicini and with Patty. Oh and so we come back, how many emails did you have?
Oh my god? Talk about like the day I came back from attorney leave and I turned on my emails, I just instant sweat, like, yeah, I'm one of those people that I don't leave. Like a notification like the red flag gives me the worst anxiety. It was upwards of like ten K plus, which is a big deal for me. And so I just went to October November and just deleted everything from those two months. I didn't even look at them. There was no way I was going to be able to and I just focused on
December and January. And that's kind of how I dealt with that.
One of my emails, I have thirty two thousand.
Oh my god, instant panic like that would drive me bonkers.
I don't even order to again. I'm too far gone. I just let it in crime.
Yeah.
Yeah, so okay, I want you to be like super super honest, because these are thoughts that have like gone on in my head. When you obviously after you have birth, you just care about your baby. Were you even thinking about work or like I think a lot of women I think, and I know some women in the industry that have gone on maternleave, they feel like they're not threatened that they're not going to get their job back, but like scared that whoever's replacing them is doing a better job.
Yeah. No, totally. All that goes goes through your brain. I think the wild and crazy thing is you have your baby and then that week after and I don't know how it is for different states, but this is just for California. When you go on maternity leave. The way you get paid is buy through state disability, and you can't file for it until you have your baby, and you have to do it within ten days of having your baby. So it's like I think it's ten,
Either it's seven or ten. So literally, you have your baby and the first the next day is like, oh, shoot, I got a file for state. Like literally that's what you have to do, and you have to get all these papers from your doctor in the hospital and like all this stuff to submit in order to get paid
or you know, to get money and survive. So literally the first week after you're trying to deal with that and like get all your paperwork together and like send it into the state and like deal with all that kind of stuff. And then after that you just you know, are dealing with a baby. I would say I was really really pleasantly surprised with myself because, like you said, I for my whole life, I've been such a career
focused person. I thought it was gonna be really really hard for me to step away and not be so involved. But I was pleasantly surprised that like my priority completely shifted, Like I didn't even think about work to be completely honest with you. I had this little thing that was taking my attention for twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, and I would say like eight weeks in, I slowly started to emerge out of the fog and
be like, Okay, what's going on, Like what's happening? On'scrubbing in? You know, like let me listen to a podcast. You know, you slowly start to emerge from the fog. But that those first eight weeks at least for me, were just hyper focused on trying to figure out this new reality for myself. You know.
So what was it like when you come back?
You you open your email and you have all these emails and you're going through it and then it's like back to work and you I still have this tiny human that you're, yeah, having to focus.
On twenty four seven So what's the balance.
So I will say, you know, everyone's everyone's different, because some people take longer to get back to work. Some people want to get back into work right away. I took just over three and a half months of maternity leave, and that felt like really good for me. I had friends before tell me you have to take six months or some friends like you you know, you're gonna want to go back faster or whatever. It's just so different
for everybody. For me, that was a really good time and I'm so fortunate that I found somebody who I really love to take care of him during the week, and that has been such a blessing. And the best thing to come from COVID for me is the fact that it gets to work from home. Yeah, yeah, so I have I have like an office at my house, and you know, the nanny is taking care of him
during the day. But like before each nap, I go in and just like, hey, the day I'm here, I love you give him acause like you know, like just show him I'm still there and then go back to work, you know, So I like get to see him all the time. And I was and also once I'm done with work, I I'm there. You know, I don't have to drive home an hour, So I know, I'm like
super fortunate in that. But I was talking to my mom, and my mom she was working in downtown LA when I was born, and I live in where my parents lived in the valley. It would take her an hour and a half to get home from work, and she would get home at six thirty at night and dinner and go to bed, you know, and I'm just like, oh my god, I'm so lucky that I'm able to work from home. So I think, I think for me, going back to work was very much welcomed. I was
excited to not talk about poopy diapers. I was excited to like get a little bit of myself back and you know, just exercise a different part of my brain that I hadn't been for the last three four months. So for me, I was really excited to go back to work. But also I think if I wasn't working
from home, I would be an absolute basket case. Even just being in a different room, I'm still looking at the freaking security cameras and like his like little monitor in his room, Like Okay, he's there, He's alive, you know. Like it's just as a mom, your focus like just is always. He's never not in my brain, you know what I mean. Like even when I'm going out, like
to dinner or something like that. If I if I am able to go on a date night or something like John has told me many times, put your phone away, and like.
I just want to make sure he's still there.
That's it, you know, but it just never goes away. Mark this many years later.
I'm going to college next year, but I'm looking at Life three sixty making sure she's okay. We're supposed to be, Yeah, for sure?
Crazy is Life three sixty?
Uh it's a it's an app, right, Yeah, it's a helicopter parent app that allows you to track your kids. Mike, I can get my kids and find my iPhone because we have a family plan with Apple. But Life three sixty tells you how fast they're going in their car. It alerts you when they arrive at their destiny Life to their battery Life on their phone. Oh as a eight percent. But have her charge your phone? Yeah, all that.
Stuffy toney as well to have this on Robbie.
Could you imagine I'm like, slow down, babe. It's creepy until it's not right, Like, you know, it's creepy that I'm looking at my phone all the time and just looking at the monitor. But also it's what if, you know, like what if an earthquake happens again and you want to make sure your kid's okay? Okay, I want to talk about the actual birth.
Okay, I know what do you want to know, like you're gonna tell it to us, Like, yeah, this.
Feels like something we should come back for.
Okay, yeah yeah, yeah.
All right, we're back. So Tanya is ready to get into.
I want to know the nitty gritty because I feel like every time I watch somebody on Instagram that's like having a baby, it's like what's in my hospital bag? And it's like these cute little outfits and like this lipstick and stuff, And I'm like this doesn't seem to me, like it's actually the reality of what's going on. So like, give us the real deal, like what are you packing? Like what did you need to pack for the hospital? Did you rip like all the stume? I yeah, no, I'll tell it all to you.
So I I kind of went into birth a little half like half backwards, like I was crossing my the thought of labor petrified me me too, and I was crossing my fingers that my son would be breached so that I can have a C section. Like I was like, please don't want to see sign. No, I know exactly that's my point, but for me, I was just like please, like please make me have to have a sea section like that, I just wanted to go in and know the day that I was going to deliver and that
I'm having surgery and all that kind of stuff. And I do know that that is like a treacherous path like that the women that have gone through C sections. It is a recovery and a recovery and a half. It's just so gnarly. But for me, in my OCD brain, like, I liked the fact of Okay, this is the date that you go in and you know whatever. So three weeks before my due date, my doctor was like, if he doesn't flip by this time, then we're gonna have to have a sea section. I was like, okay, great, like,
no problem, sounds good. I go into that appointment and he freaking flipped and she was like, you can have a natural brother, so excited. Isn't this amazing? I just looked at her. I was like, oh my god, no, like this ugh, But looking back on it, go So I went into I went into labor being completely terrified. And it didn't help that he was almost a week late, so I had like all these I was just ready for it to just happen already, and just kept waiting,
kept waiting, kept waiting, kept waiting. When it came to the actual labor, it was it was gnarly. I'm not gonna lie like it was the whole like contractions and all that kind of stuff. I went into the hospital and my nurse was she was like, okay, well you're, you know, just under four centimeters dilated. Do you want epidurl? And I was like, yeah, I want epidol, Like give
it to me now. So she's like okay, great. She's like it takes about thirty minutes for them to come, you know, come to your room, so just hang in there, like okay. She comes back thirty minutes later and she is literally scrubbed head to like she's in scrubs head to toe, like hairnet on, like the full thing. And I was like, oh my gosh, she's gonna tell me I'm gonna have to have an emergency C section, Like why is she? She literally looked like she was in hasmatsu.
And she was like, okay, Danielle, a little bit of bad news. You're gonna have to wait for an epidol. I was like, what do you mean. She's like, we have two emergencies on the floor right now. That the anteziologist has to cater to so you're gonna have to wait like you're not an emergency. So I waited two hours for an epidurl and for our listeners that are
listening right now that have gone through this. I went from four centimeters to just about six centimeters without an epidurol, and that is gnarly like women that have had that have natural births without any kind of drugs or anything like that. Like I tip my hat off to you. You are miracle women in my eyes, like, oh my goodness. But the second I got the epidural, I was flying high.
Like it was great.
I was cracking jokes with any nurse that came in, like I was just like, today's the best day ever. I also helped that My antetysiologist was like the cutest ever.
I was like, lovely, he was really cute.
On I was like, he's so cute.
Did you feel the epidural needle?
Honestly I didn't. I didn't, but I think because I was having such bad contractions that nothing was more painful than that. People feel that needle. It's like this big, it's huge, it's massive. I didn't feel anything.
That tells you how much pain. Yeah, the contractions are that you don't feel the need.
Didn't feel anything nothing.
Why did you go to the hospital in the first place. Did your water break?
Oh? So I had a scheduled induction, and so our plan was always to go to the hospital that day, but I ended up going into labor that morning of my of my scheduled induction date. So yeah, that's.
Why you just feel the contractions.
No, it didn't break.
No.
By the way, just a side little story. My wife when she got her epidural, it was an older doctor training a younger doctor and how to do an epidural, and it didn't take.
That's no, you don't want anybody training to do any training.
I don't want training.
We thought people know what they're doing. We've never had a baby before, and so it didn't work, and so everything. They came back and did it again later, but very quickly after that, they we went into the they removed us from wherever we were, a new different room. She felt everything, is what I'm trying to say. Yeah, dang, dang, is right.
I'd be so mad.
She wasn't happy.
Yeah, but some people that get the epidural, it just doesn't work. On them either like that is a very real thing because they're like so hard like they can take it, or it just doesn't hit the right nerve. I don't know, but but yeah, like in Mark's wife's.
Case, can you describe what a contraction feels like? Where does it where?
Where?
Like where all does it hurt?
Like?
It depends what stage you're in. In the beginning, it's like your cramps times ten, and then they just get worse, and then your back gets involved. And when your back gets involved, it's like all hell breaks list. That's when it hurts so bad because it's not only that cramp that you're you're used to feeling in like your uterus, but it's also your entire back like just ill think of like a muscle spasm, like like all of that in your lower back, in your in your uterus, just all of that area.
And it's because the baby's like coming down and.
Yeah and putting so much pressure so weak yeah weak.
Yeah yeah, Like did you put when you when it happened where you're like, I just did that.
So there's a couple of funny things. Because I had my mom and my husband with me, and I love my mom so much. And then she listens, I'm saying this with like all all love in my heart. I love you so much and thank you so much for being there for me. She was like, I almost cussed her out. I'm not gonna lie.
She was.
I had one guideline for both of them, like don't look below, like, don't look you're paying attention to me, don't look down there, like please the doctor. She the doctor was like, oh, your baby has hair. My mom literally was like, oh my god, and just like totally look down there. I'm like, oh, so that was that was strike number one. Strike number two. She was like, this was like game time, like pushing hard. A baby is almost out, and I look over my mom's texting and I'm like, Yolanda, who.
Are you texting?
It's more important than me right now. And She's like everyone's just asking me what's going on. I just want to give them updates.
I was like, I don't care about them.
Put your phone away, like you're not allowed to have your phone. And then after that it was fine. But she was in charge of taking photos and oh my god, John, when we look at my camera, roll, John and I are just we just cry laughing because They're the most unflattering.
In the entire world. I look like I'm.
Miserable, which I was, and about to die, like it was just but at the end of the day, like I'm so I'm so happy I had my mom there because, yeah, when I got the epidol or right before, cause you're allowed to like keep pressing for the epidol, I think I got to the point where I had too much in me and I just started like shaking uncontrollably, and that was really scary. And John was like, is she okay? She having a seizure? Like I just like had no control of my limbs, and that happened to my mom.
So my mom was like, this is just reaction to the epidural. Everything's fine. This happened to me. So, you know, having having her there who had gone through it was very comforting.
Break me up shaking and be like, what's happening to me?
Am I And you also like you can feel, but you can't feel at the same time, you know, so you're like, all these limbs that I can't feel are just shaking, and you're just you know, you're just waiting for this little kid to pop out. But yeah, damn, I know, I know. But then he came and he
was luckily like no complications. That the one thing that was scary, you know, right before, right before you're about to push, the doctor's like okay, you know, like a couple more pushes and he's there, and all these like nurses just come rushing in and there's like these like eight strangers in the room that you've never seen before, just looking at your huha and just like standing by just nodding their heads, and you know, they're there just
in case anything happens to you know, check all the things like the breathing and his vitals and all that kind of stuff. But then yeah, once the baby comes out,
they that was just like a complete rush. He was plopped right on top of my chest and again I'm shaking so bad that like I'm just like trying to hold on but also completely enamored that like yeah, you know, and and I just remember don being like he has your feet and like, oh my god, he has my feet, you know, just like the weirdest things like you just
start to notice. And that was just surreal because there's all these just people running around like just making sure, you know, like one nurse was like sucking mucus out of his nose and another one was wiping them off while all this while like on top of my chest. Are they doing to you? So your legs are so open? Yeah, your legs are still open. You still have to deliver your placenta. So like that was another push that I like, within twenty minutes, you usually deliver your placenta, so you're
not done with your birth at all. You have to push off. Yeah, do you guys want to see what it looks like?
It hurt?
It doesn't. That doesn't hurt because it's just this like slimy thing. Do you eat that? Or people eat that? Right?
People do?
They like? Yeah, they like dry it out. I didn't know, but I did.
I'm so curious how it tastes.
Well, I can tell you that you put it in pills.
Oh you don't just like it up.
And I'm having placenta. No, it's like these like little capsules that they can like make turn it into and stuff. Yeah. But like but to that point, you're you know, you have you have this like baby on top of you and you're trying to, you know, just understand what just happened to you and while this is all happening, your doctor is still delivering your placenta. If you tore, they're
stitching you up. And also like you have a nurse that's just like digging into your like into your uterus and like just taking all the because they have to get all the stuff out, so like they're just like basically like, oh, my massaging, but really it's like somebody is like really pushing into your apnom to get all the stuff out. You felt it, it was like super yeah, it was you know, super like it was a lot
of pressure. But I was just so overwhelmed. Like I have this one nurse like really digging into my stomach, my doctor stitching me up. I have the baby on top of me. They're trying to like make me breastfeed the baby, you know, just start that. They're just checking his vitals, they're checking my vitals. Like all this stuff is happening. It's a big tornado of just chaos, but
it's also so beautiful at the same time. You know, at that at that moment, you're holding your baby, like right, you know, that is so wild.
Okay, So you get home, By the way, your faces aren't great either.
You might actually have to do this one day.
I will do this very soon.
So that's why I'm like asking all the questions because I don't believe what I see on Instagram.
Yeah, and oh my gosh, like when Sophia Richie announced that she was pregnant and had that photo, Sho'm like, God, bless her, she looks so beautiful. I did not look like that a day in my pregnancy.
You did, we know, were gorgeous.
But like what you see on Instagram. No, I mean even, like back to your question about the hospital bag, I followed. I followed like so many influencers that had all these things where you should put your hospital bag, and I did it, did it all. I even took a pink Kimmel and salt lamp because I heard that it's like which, by the way, for everyone listening, that was probably my
favorite thing I packed. I would actually highly encourage that because instead of you know, those like bright white lights in the room being on, we had like a pink glow in our room.
It was nice, wow, relaxing. It was very relaxing. Sounds so unnecessary, it was amazing. It was honestly probably the best thing I packed. I did not touch any like even they.
Have a going home outfit for your baby, going home outfit for mom. I said, screw the going outfit for my mom. For me, I'm just wearing the most comfortable shirt I can find. And same with my baby. I didn't even put the baby in a going home outfit. I just like ditched all of that, just all of it. Just get us home, get us home, Get us home.
What was your comfort?
What was your comfort like thing that you did while you were home, So like when he was sleeping and you were resting, were you watching TV shows?
Were you reading? What were you doing?
Oh my god, I was. I'm a Bravo freak and I was behind months Like I think I just slowly started watching shows again. Honestly, No, nothing really, I like, I can't there wasn't there was like tvOS watching or anything like that. It's kind of crazy. You're like sucked into this vortex where twenty four hours a day is is you're doing something you've never done before, you know, so like whether it's breastfeeding or changing a diaper or just trying to get sleep. Like I honestly, the comfort
was like trying to get some sleep. Yeah, you know, like really when you're not fully focused on this kid, like either my husband or I were taking turns just sleeping.
Yeah, the sleep part feels overwhelmed me. Ye, are y'all in a routine now? Or are he's sleeping? Like are you getting sleep?
Yeah?
Okay, God blessed. He's sleeping through the he's sleeping through the night, and he's great. And he he goes down around like seven thirty and wakes up around six, So I mean, what a dream? Yeah, so he's green.
Who are the.
People like that you followed or books that you read or like Instagram people that you followed, or podcasts that you listen to that actually you feel like gave you good tips on pregnancy.
Yeah. I have this book Mom's on Call, and people that have babies will automatically know what that is. And if you don't get their book, it's basically this like tiny book that Okay, your baby has a fever, this is what you do? You know, like no frills, nothing, It's just a little baby guide and it also has you know, sleep schedules things like that to try to get your baby on routine. And I just follow that
religiously and I swear by it. There are some some Instagram actually one of this this one girl, she's right here in Studio City. Let me want to get her Instagram right Wilder Beginnings. She had her baby the day after me, so I have been following her and she just is not your Instagram influencer. She just shows you that her baby didn't sleep through the night, is throwing up all over her, has a rash, you know, like all the things that are actually happening to me, you know,
and she just there's no filter. It's just all her and what's actually happening in their lives. And that, you know, was really helpful for me because for a second, and we can talk about this, but like the one the one I would say when I the one thing I was the most worried about going into maternity leave was having postpartum depression. That was the one thing I was like, Oh my god, I feel like I'm going to get that. Like I don't know why. I was just very anxious
about getting that. I was pleasantly surprised that I the second he was born, I immediately gravitated towards my baby, and that's not the case for a lot of people. So I felt that love there and I was very very much drawn to and I loved being a mom. I loved the new normal. I loved how my life has shifted like that. I wasn't mourning the loss of my old life. But the one thing that was like incredibly hard for me that was not on my bingo card is when my husband went back to work. I
was so not ready for that. For a month. That first month, which is the hardest month, you know, you're trying to get used to having a baby and get used to feeding and all that kind of stuff, was honestly kind of fine for me because I had my partner and it was a teamwork mentality. You know, Okay, you do the diaper, I'll do the feed. You go
to sleep, I will go you know. It was just very much like I had my partner in this and we were tackling it together and it was amazing and we're just trying to figure this out, you know, the chaos of it all. But the second he went back to work, I felt very left behind. I could get like emotional talking about it. But it was like the one the one time in like the pregnancy and the attorney leave, where I felt that like it was just me and and I knew that was in the case,
and you, I had my husband. I knew I could call my mom, and you had my son and all that kind of stuff. But I felt like he went back to work and he got himself back a little bit, and I was still just in the trenches by myself, and that was like really hard for me. And I think during that time, you expect your partner to be like a mind reader and like to understand what's going on and like, oh yeah, I needed to give an
yell some kind of love or whatever. But we fell into this like routine where he would come home from work and be like, oh god, I'm so tired. I'm like, you sure aren't tired. I'm tired, you know, or like or you know, like just being having that anxiety. If something were to happen when I'm watching him by myself, it's on me, right, you know, So you felt this, you feel this like overwhelming sense of like pressure but
also like pressure by yourself. Yeah, you know, so we had to have this, like had to have We had a conversation. I was like, look, I'm struggling right now, Like I feel very alone, I feel very left behind. I feel like you're finally getting back to you know, you're having conversations with normal people and you're socializing. You get to go out of the house, you get to put on an outfit, you know, But like here I am, I could barely take it. If I even get to
take a shower, get to take a shower. I'm eating with one hand twenty four to seven because you only have one hand because you're carrying the baby in the other hand. Like, naps are not a thing, you know, like when they're napping, your pumping or washing your bottles or you know whatever, Like there's no break for mom at all. And it just made me realize, like, for everyone that's a stay at home mom that is listening right now, your job never ends. It is twenty four
to seven. And I literally want to give you guys the biggest hug because it's the hardest job out there, Oh my god, beyond hardest job is being a stay at home mom.
How long was that time that so John went back to work? Yeah, and then how long were you until you went back to work? Two more months?
Yeah?
So he went back to work a month after and then yeah, it was about like two two and a half months.
But then when you finally opened up to him and told him how you were feeling, how did you guys?
Yeah, so I told him. I was just like, I feel like my only identity is taking care of him, which I'm more than happy to do, but like I am so resentful and so jealous that you get to do something else and still get to be Mateo's dad, you know, like I'm only Mateo's mom right now. Like that's all I am like, because at that point you're not clear to work out, You're not clear to you know, do a lot of things. So once I got cleared to work out, that was kind of like my thing.
So John would get home from work, no questions asked, he had to take the baby for an hour, like, no questions asked, get home, here's the baby. I'm going on a walk, I'm going on a run. I'm doing something for myself. So that was like my one role that when I got when he got home from work, I needed to do something just for Danielle, just you know,
whatever that meant. I had to do it for my own mental sanity, and even if that just meant watching TV, you know, like whatever, just something where I can just do it by myself. And then another rule that we had was if I'm nursing the baby, if I'm changing his dipe or whatever, you need to do something else
to let the work like be done. Like that sounds weird, but like if I'm putting down the baby, wash the bottles so that once I'm done putting down the baby, we can watch TV together, you know, like the job's not done until both of our jobs are done.
Like lighten the load while I'm doing one thing exactly.
Yeah, so that was that was like another turning point for us, Like the second I put down the baby, like I wanted to be able to just like be done, just having some rest and not having to go into the kitchen and make the bottles for the next day or clean all the bottle parts or the pumping parts, you know that kind of stuff. Like coming back out and having a clean kitchen was the big deal. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm just glad that you have a partner that wants you.
I know, that feeling of like when I'm expecting Haley to read my mind, of like she should know that I need a little extra something, and like knowing that you have a partner that you once you communicated that that, it was like here, here's what I need. Oh yeah, also like I'm gonna make this time for me and I need you to like be my teammate.
Yeah, you know really And it was like this like weird guilt because I acknowledged that I was jealous of the fact that he was he was able to be outside of the house, you know what I mean. And for me, I'm like, I'm in your mom. I should love this, you know, like I should love like being around him twenty four seven. And I do. But at a certain point, you also need time for yourself. Yeah, and he was getting that eight hours a day. Yeah, and I wasn't, you know.
And he's like I'm exhausted, and You're like, I've I'm so.
Excited, like a guess an end. And again he's valid to be totally right, Like he also wasn't sleeping at night and had to go to work. But you don't say that to me wrong, audience, your friend.
Yeah, No, I always say I think that being a stay at home mom is the hardest job that someone could have. Like, you know, when I used to nanny, I would, you know, nanny for eight hours and then they'd come home and I'd go back to my you know, life, and it.
Was it's so exhausted.
They weren't my kids, but it was exhausting, and I'm like, if it's just you and them my sister, yes.
Five kids.
And my mom.
And I was like, how do you not? Like, yeah, she's a teacher. Now I'm like, how are you around kids anymore? I feel like I'm done.
I'm done, But I am just like so impressed and wild by you because I feel like you are such a grounded person and I feel like you're patient and you were made to be a mom, but you're also such a successful career woman and I'm so happy you have an amazing partner and you've like navigated this with so much grace and honesty too, and vulnerability because I do think we see on Instagram and I think more than ever social media is you're hearing more about the
real parts more than ever, but it still can look very glossy.
No, And that's why I really was excited to have you on because I think, I mean, I've known you forever and I just feel like I really value you. I value what you say, what you've done, because I just feel like you are all those things, like you're a great person, you're a great mom, you're a great worker, and so I just like was really interested to hear
kind of your story and like learn from you. But I also want to know if you could do anything differently, would you do something different and what would it be.
I don't think I would do anything differently, but I would just want to remind myself that each day is a new day. So if you had the most amazing day with your baby, everything is going to write according to plan exactly how you want it to happen, and then the next day it doesn't. It's okay, you know, baby is a baby. I think that was the one thing that I was like so hard on myself. What did I do today that didn't make Matao sleep on time?
Or like you know, I was just like constantly second guessing everything, like why is today such a bad day? Sometimes some days babies have bad days. Some days they don't want to go down for their naps. Sometimes they don't want to eat when you want them to eat. Like that was the one thing I just realized is like,
they're never going to be on my schedule. I have to be okay with that, Yeah, you know, but just you know, you are thankful for the good days, but also don't be hard so hard on yourself on the bad days. It's all just a constant journey and you just take take a day by ta. That's it.
Does Matello have a nook or binkie pacifier? I have a tip only because my wife came up with us and it's so genius and it really helped us up. Yes, but I'm getting to that. So what what she did was because in the crib, my daughter would lose the what do you call it?
We call it a cheppy Okay.
She would lose the choopy in the corners of the mattress. Yeah, and then she'd get up and cry and scream until we came in. She also had a lovey. Does he have a lovey?
He doesn't have one yet, but we have them. He just yeah, he doesn't.
His little Teddy bear head on the blanket and blanket with a Teddy Bear head on it. And so she tied the She tied the choopy to the corner to one of the corners of the blanket on the levee. That way, it's not going to get stuck down the mattress and so we'd see her on the on the mound.
They have those now.
Where they're built like that.
Well, the pacifiers have like a stuffed animal attached to it.
But we see it, we look around for and that you find the stuff then and won't let you go corner corner there it is, pop back in her mouth and go right back to sleep without bothering anything.
Yeah.
But the great thing is then when it was time to give up the cheopy, it wasn't about her giving up the cheopy lovey. It's time for love to give up.
Oh that's so cute, and you're to be.
There for love to help him through this. And it was a very smooth process with both kids because if you do it that way, it just seemed to work much better. So New Moms is my wife's one hundred percent credit, totally her idea, and it worked so beautifully.
That's smart.
They when they got when they started.
Three three oh dark, we're really goes earlier.
We're trying to transition into his own room right now, which I think this weekend it's going to happen. Yeah, in the room with you.
Yeah.
Yeah, they stay in like the best matter.
Yeah, yeah, okay, wait, how has the dog handled the shift of attention?
So Boots is sixteen years old or not fifteen? Sorry, he's fifteen years old. He could care less. Oh yeah, baby, he looks at the baby.
Sometimes he'll sniff him, and sometimes he'll give him a little wick and then just walks away and mind his own business. We were actually really nervous about him, like when we were to bring the baby home and the crying, how he was going to adjust to that. He just kind of like buries himself into his bed and just like it's like okay, here, we are here. Yeah. He just you know, looks and gives him some attention, but keeps his keeps his distance.
He's like, this isn't this isn't mine to take care of. I'm still I'm the oldest baby.
Yeah exactly. Well, Danielle, we love you.
Thank you, love so much for scrubbing In, Thank you for steering this ship.
And so many podcasts, many podcast that's your favorite scrubbing in? What just for people who don't know, like what are like names some of the podcasts, because I feel like people listen to multiple.
Nowhere from em all in. He is an actual personality and I am all in Gilmore Girls, Rewatch, poc Yes, show.
No, we do like Jahn mc queen's and Podmeats World. I am paris h What else east did help me? Bethony Frankel's Slater show Suckers.
There's a lot busy. We have a busy group of people in this room.
Er Amy and TJ Amy Sugarman in Easton and I were involved at the beginning when we started these podcasts in twenty seventeen and a couple of years later. Did you start when nineteen? You came back nineteen and Amy said to me, I guess who's coming back to work on the podcast? And I said, I have no idea. She was no, you have to guess. I said, well, how am I going to guess? I don't know? And Amy goes, who's our favorite person? Daniel podcast.
I had asked Amy for a referral for a different job and she's like, are you looking for a job? And I was, well, I'm looking for this job and she's like, well I have a different job. I'm like okay, and here I am. Here she is and all her glory.
We're very grateful for you. Thank you for sharing, and we love you. We're so proud of you and happy for you and thank you.
Yeah, we love you so much, love you, and.
We love you guys.
Love you very weekend next week.
Bye,