For All Intensive Purposes

already had a nap. I already had a nap today. That's where I'm at. That is so crazy, where I really screwed myself. So Saturday, Hayley does like this gingerbread party every year, and so we had the party. I some might say blacked out. I blacked out and not so drunk, but in like the best way, Like you were not an annoying drunk. You were like hilarious drunk. I'm so happy to hear that, because I don't remember

so many things. I I got, like, hey, I'm after you tell your story, I'm gonna remind you of something that you did that it was very bad. No yeah, can continue one. I'll tell a little bit later. That's gonna give me anxiety. Okay. So when Haley and I were getting ready for this party, I was like, she has always wanted to be the Grinch, Like she is a Grinch stand. She has been like practicing his voice everything.

She loves the Grinch. And so I was like, why don't we get costumes and like dressed up and it'll be like funny, we'll just surprise everybody. So she was like, okay, yeah, that sounds fun. So I just ordered these uh costumes from Amazon, and I was gonna be Martha May and she's gonna be the Grunch. But we get the costume and it has like a mask. But she was like, you know what, like if I'm going to really do this, I've always wanted to do it, I think I want to go all out. And I was like, what does

that mean? And she was like, I think I want to do like like prosthetic makeup and like get it professionally done. So I'm like, Okay, that feels like an unnecessary expense, but whatever you want, if you can turn the person. I just don't yeah to this the season, but I don't want to have to be responsible finding an FX makeup artist. So she find someone and he comes over and like we're starting the makeup, and I

go first, well, I hadn't eaten all day. I had had like a protein bar in the morning, and then once he started because like the prosthetic nose covered my lip, and so I was like, you know, I didn't eat past the time I got my makeup done, and then I drink so much on an empty stomach and it just went downhill. And I kept saying things to Haley yesterday. I'd be like, I say something about the party, and she was like, we literally had a full conversation about

this the night before. And in my mind, like I haven't gotten drunk to a point where I don't remember things like that in a long time. And I was so anxious. I'm like, this is why people don't drink, this is why you stopped drinking. Yeah, but I mean, for all purposes, all intent is all intensive purposes, all intent and purposes. Oh that makes sense, And I was like, what is all intensive purposes? So for all the intensive purposes?

You were hilarious and it was like amazing, like you were just having like the best time but I could tell you were drunk, like maybe forty five minutes into the party. You know, you told Robbie about a d M that you'd sent me the night before, and I was not. I remember that I was not drunk. I was like, is she drunk or isn't? Like, oh, why would that because he said to me about the sweatshirt or no, you had said to Hi about the sweatshirts and he made a comment about us being dressed up,

and I was like, joking about the sweatshirt. So I was like, you are one committed man. No, that's not all she said. She was, you don't need a ring. He's a committed man already. And I was like, that guy, because that's not gonna stop. No, I know, I know, but I didn't. I didn't. I felt very justified this weekend and finally getting him in those matching um she's my sweet potato. Yes, I am sweatshirts because I had

them for about two years now. I was sitting in my closet and our boss Biada had an ugly sweater party Friday night and I was like, you know, what tis the season? And he was like, oh, so he wore because it was an ugly sweater. It was an ugly sweater, but a last I got a minute and it felt very good, and everybody thought they were really, really cute. I messaged Tanya and I go, it was a photo of Robbie wearing this letter, and I go, you do not need a ring. This man is committed,

and I I did, I stand by it. Yeah, so I'm happy to hear that's that's what you really thought. Made me sound drunk, Betty who that was amazing. Then at the end of the night, so Becca comes over and she's like pushing she's pushing p she's pushing tequila on, pushing tea, pushing tequila everybody, like everybody not just like a shot, like a like a four inch shot of chill tequila. But you couldn't take her seriously because of that prosthetic nos. So like I could not have a

conversation with Becca without like crying, laughing. So she's coming over and like pushing this tequila on me and like making everybody chant my name so that I would do the tequila shot, and so like it's I don't know, at this point, it's probably we start doing running charades. Becca is not on my team, and you all know how competitive Becca is. So we had three teams and our team was like winning. We were like in the winning and then there was one last game and I

think we could have tied it up or something. And I look over at the other team and Becca and Marla had shared one of the whole running sharades thing is like it's the honor code, Like it's the honor system, you know what I mean. They you have to act out the sharades and and just hope that your team is like you have to hope that all the other teams are just law abiding citizens and they're gonna, you know,

be true, tried and true. And Becca and Marla, I don't know who it was, but one of you said the answer like the movie to the other person, and I was like, you cheatas could have been me. It was one of the two of you, and I called you guys out. I was like, you cheatas. Yeah. That I don't have like a whole lot of like clear memories of that, except for being like looking around and I felt like I was in that mean Girl scene where like everyone turns into like a zoo, you know,

everyone's actually animals. Like it was just chaos around me. That's all I remember. And then yeah, my prosthetics started lifting and it was like crumble. It was just like things were. The trajectory was downhill and downhill only. But the best part is like the invitation did it say like to where it didn't even say to wear festive stuff, did it. No, it said it said get like confestive if you want to just be you know, basically like if you want to dress up, dressed up, if you

want to be cozy cozy. But we didn't tell a single person. I think Marla and Taylor Branks to only people who knew about us dressing up. I was shocked when we walked in like we were in like normal street clothes jeans and T shirts and a jacket and like walk into the grine in Martha May. That was just like really taken aback, Like you guys really went all out for this one, and it was hilarious. Thank

you so much. I Haley comes over to me like as we're finishing getting ready and the party's about to start more in the bathroom and she's looking at me and she has like her whole grinch face on and her teeth are brown. He like painted her teeth brown and she's like, baby, I just want you to know that I've always like connected to the Grinch and I've always wanted to find my Martha May. And I'm like staring at her, like, are you we really having this

serious conversation right now with your brown teeth? And she like gets emotional when she's like I think I'm gonna get emotional. I was like okay. I was like, well, we'll talk about it later after the party. We can rehash this conversation. But no, like she was literally I'm not kidding one to say it was a dream come true for her. It was a literal drink come true. So it was really cute, it was really fun and um.

And so then yesterday, you know, after a night like that, you would stay in bed and eat, eat, and just like chill all day. No. I woke up, started cleaning, putting my house back together, and then we went and shopped because so Haley and I are going to the White House today. We got invited to go because we're um, they're signing the Respect All Marriages Act. I think it's a really big deal. And I've never even been to Washington,

d C. So I'm super excited. But that's how we did the podcast early because it was a very last minute thing. But we like, we shopped all day to find um outfit. So imagine my hangover yesterday, waking up, cleaning and then shopping all day. Well, what did you find? I feel like a little it's like a it's like a little short suit like a tweeted Wolves probably would not be able to hang around me. Um, like a little short suit with it's cute. It's very preppy, very

white housey. I feel I think I think it's gonna be I think I'm gonna freeze. I'll say that. But um, so yeah, I haven't. I haven't fully slept. And then Phoebe it rained last night in l A and Phoebe freaks out with the rain. So I'm in survival mode as far as just needing my immune system to just be strong. Yeah, you're not like thriving, you're surviving. Yeah, but I think I'm thriving too. I'm thriving and surviving.

Yeah you're cool. Yeah, I'm having a great time. And I'm also just coasting on fumes like I did last week when I ran out of gas. Yeah that also, Yeah, so yeah, that's that's what's going on in my life. I kept saying, I Hayley said, I kept going. So yesterday I go, do you think, um, Betty who had a good time? Because Betty Who came to the party? Mind you all, I am like a massive Betty Who fan,

Like I love her music. I Brittany and I have videos of us dancing to her song from like years ago, and so it's really cool like that she's a friend now and she came to the party, but she was by herself and didn't really know anyone other than me and Haley, so she didn't Yeah, I mean I think she had met people, but like, really she just knew me and Haley. I didn't know that. I thought she was there with a friend. No, But that's how I mean. She's so like comfortable and cool and nice and like

she would make you think that, you know. But so yesterday, as we're cleaning up, I'm like, do you think Betty Who had fun? Like, I hope she had a good time. I know she didn't really know anyone, And Haley was like, heybe you asked this three times last night, and then we had a full conversation about that. She had a great time. I think she had a great time, And I was like, okay, I just I just want to I just wanted to make sure. You know, there is

something about that though. When you have like a party, you have people over, you want everybody to have a good time, and so like your focus is like and like sometimes like yeah, obviously you have like your staples and your friends that are just friends with each other,

so like they're easy. But then you always, like I feel like that you always invite like a couple of people that don't really know everybody, and so you want to make sure that they feel comfortable, so you like overcompensate and spend so much time with them and like showing them around. Yeah, yes, that's exactly what happened. And but then I birthday party because I felt like we just invited like her dog, like a dog's birthday party.

That's how she felt. You're, yeah, you're making sure all the dogs are like not being left out, the dog's owners, not the dogs. Okay, a lot of people that didn't know each other, do you know. I mean, it's just like a hodgepodge. And so I was like playing Martha May, Oh, my nice way to bring it back you thank you. So then Friday night I went into a party and guess who I sat next to? Who do you sit next to at a party? Well, I'm going to tell you, but first we're gonna take a break. Al Right, we

are back. Um okay. So Friday night before the Saturday party, we went to another party and it was like, I sit down dinner. It was so beautiful and um we were sitting there and so our friend Audrey was like, oh, yeah, y'all are going to be sitting next to Addie And she was like, I think she's like I think her newest role she's in Grays Anatomy. And I was like what. I was like, who do you know? I'm like a huge Grayzy Natomy band. And She's like, I don't know

anything about anybody. So Addie gets there's at like Attle of Cane and she is Jewels on Gray's Anatomy, which she's like the one I feel like she's getting like the kind of like Izzy Meredith hybrid hybrid role. Where did you become friends with her? Yeah? We chatted all night. Yeah I did, of course. So I was like, you know, we've had like so many of the cast on like we'd love to have you one. Um. I also, I

don't even think I talked about this on the podcast. Um, Haley and I were out to eat it like our favorite place, and Harry Shum was there, and so we went up and said hello to him. Did I talk about this? I know, but you told me. I don't know if you told me on the podcast or not. So I'm basically like the whole like new generation of Gray's. I'm spotting around town. Wow, so she's gonna come on right, Yeah, well we'll reach out and get her on. Oh man,

look I just lined up in twenty three. Yeah, she's just shaping up. I mean, what can't we do in Yeah, we can't. We should pitch ourselves, like, uh, like our podcast, like we will be having Patrick Dempsey. We've manifested it, but like we put it in a way that makes it feel like he's coming, but he's not. Yeah, Like after we post the new logos is like scrubbing in whatever and then we say like Patrick Dempsey, yeah yeah, and there's like no context behind it. Yeah, I mean

I'm into it. I haven't really gotten any more leads on the Patrick Dempsey front. But I'm gonna remind the scrubbers once again. Let's spam him, Let's get in his inbox, let's comment on his photos, let's get him on the podcast. In whatever it takes. Annoying him the best strategy that don't annoying him, though, Yeah, I think so, because what else are we gonna do? We don't know anybody else. I just think maybe annoying him isn't isn't like the way, but I think it's like if you can but the

scraper isn't annoying. They're sweet. They're gonna be like, oh my gosh, this this podcast scrubbing in. They love you, they want to have you on, like, they're not going to be like mean, I'm not worried about them. I'm not worried about them. We annoyed a movie theater and now I have a crown behind me. I just want

to point that out. Yeah, exactly exactly. Annoying can be productive. Yeah, you know, any annoying is also a different word for like persistent, And you know what happens to the persistent mouse gets the cheese, and you know what we're gonna get. We're gonna get our cheese. Yeah, we're gonna get If Patrick Dampsey were cheese, what kind of cheese would you be? Cheddar? No? Yeah, classic, delicious. Everybody wants a slice sharp cheddar. Yes. I think he's dignified.

I don't can't think mozzarella, he's just he's not good in every form. He's good in every form, pizza, mozzarella stick, string cheese, Like, what can he do to make it better? Mozzarella cheese makes every If this, if, if this doesn't get make you want to come on, I don't know what is going to want to make you come on, I will say, though, I don't know why the cheese

conversation is making me. Really, I'm like really into Jennifer Fisher right now because she also has Hashimoto's disease and she posts all these recipes that she cooks based on like the diagnosis, like what we should be eating and stuff, and the recipes are so easy and she has so many of them. I started making them this weekend and

I'm so into it. I'm literally like one step away from being Betty Crocker, Like I am a whiz kid in the kitchen and I'm like whipping up these gourmet meals and I feel like, I am so in charge of my life right now because I'm also doing yoga, which is really good for my hashimotos, and I just feel like I'm gonna have a renaissance and that's my word for the year, and I'm freaking excited about it. Um. I'm just like, really, it's the rataissance. Oh my gosh,

that's even better than renaissance. That's your word? Is that the like you're announcing it here, nancing it right here right now? My word for renaissance, I'm gonna have a rebirth. I'm going to have a uh a reboot, a recharge, a refresh, a renaissance. Do you see the theme here? It's ours ours. Yeah. So I'm just feeling good. I'm feeling you know, I'm having some good um intention, I'm

feeling um what's the word. I'm feeling empowered because I'm like cooking and being in charge of what's in my body and my yoga and I'm gonna have a little risks. I'm taking the last two weeks of December and I'm just gonna be a radissance goddess. If you know what I mean, you are, Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah you know, are you baking? No, So Betty Crocker might not be the best analogies. I don't know who was a good chef. Yeah, well, I think there's so many.

But I was like, are you baking some I'm not baking at all, cooking gourmet meals, like just delicious gourmet, Like you're like Gordon Ramsey. I'm like Gordon Ramsey adjacent basically, Okay, I felt very like U. I felt very um, I don't know what the word is. But yesterday, so we got our Christmas. We got a Christmas tree in a Hanuka bush on Saturday, so we have like Hanaka corner and then we have a giant Christmas tree and we didn't put the decorations on the tree yet because um hm,

I had a situation with the lights up. But we're all good now, and um, I'm a little bit scared to put the presents under the tree because I think Sonny's gonna like really man handle them. So right now they're all up on like the hanukah ledge. Um but I just fought and then I like spent the whole day with my friend Paulina and her dog. And it was a taste because I've been wanting to get like a second I've been thinking about getting a second dog. And it was like a true test of like having

two dogs around and it was total chaos. That's so funny because like I was going to ask if you it was like you were on my list of like do I ask Tonya if she can watch Phoebe for twenty four hours while we're gone? And I was like I don't know, yeah, but she like you'll put sunny in her crate and Phoebe likes to sleep on the bed and I was just like panics, so like she would keep all up all night. So yeah, Robbie's not I found another sitter. Yeah. I was like it would

be Robbie to be like what why? Like I knew that you would step up and be like I'll take her, and then maybe you'd be like you know what, maybe I don't need another dog in the bed. Thing is like not even she We literally just have to say okay, Sonny, it's a bedtime and she just gets up and walks into her crate. She loves her create it's like her, it's like her personal space. Yeah, Phoebe's so you could bring a crate and put phoebe right next to Sunny.

She would cry all night. You would hate that. You would be like just a letter on the bed. Anyways, she's taken care of, so it's all good, okay. Well oh oh and then and then so we had like a whole day with the dogs. Da did a lot of Christmas wrapping. I was a little elf. Dadada made my Jennifer Fisher shrimp curry. And then we watched the season finale of White Lotus. We watched at six pm when they dropped the episode, which I have never done

with the show ever. Ever, let me tell you spoiler alert, So maybe we should say spoiler alert now. I don't know that you should do a spoiler here. Why because it just aired. It aired last night. You gotta give people a little bit, like if you're talking about Grace anatomy or something that's different. But this is this was a big show. People haven't had a chance to watch it yet. I think you should be careful here. I don't want to hear what you're about to say. Basically,

it's what I'm saying, Well, that is selfish. That is not selfish. Watch TV shows at our own time. If you go on Instagram, it is spoiled for everybody right now. Well, then that's why, and that's why I'm staying off of Instagram. I think a lot of people are. Hannah before this episode just said to us, Oh my gosh, I can't go on my phone until I watch it. Now you're about to spoil it for Hana too. Here's the thing.

Wasn't good? That's all I need to know, because I can't really get a like did people enjoy the finale or was it disappointing. It's so funny because the whole season, Robbily kept being like when something going to happen, when something going to happen? What's with this show? Like why doesn't anything happen? And like he like kind of pooh pooed it the whole time, but then like was so excited about watching it, like when it came out, do

you know what I mean? Because you're like on the edge of your seat, so you're like wanting to know, like what's going on. My whole problem with it is I feel like the messaging like the like it's almost like the people that are bad ended up fine and good and like free and like winning and like the good person, like died, so like that's what makes me weird about it, do you know what I mean? Like

that was a big that was a big spoiler. But there really sorry, scrubbers, I'm really sorry that just happened. We tried, we tried, but well there's a there's not just one. I don't know. I haven't I've like kind of watched here and there, so I really I don't know who's good or who's bad. Really, so like I I'm unfazed by this, But you know what, I think it is because every single person I talked to said

the same thing. They were like, you're watching and everything feels so intense and then like it leads up to

nothing every episode. But I think they're so Genie is because I think this is my argument about releasing shows once a week like old school, because even if the episodes as a whole aren't like so interesting or fascinating, you're still wanting to know what happens next, and you have to wait all this time and it gives a build up, and I think that the art of like enjoying a show like that has been lost because everything's binge able, you know, everything's like you can just sit

through hours and hours, and and then I feel like there will be these amazing shows are like amazing episodes, but you're like, it was fine because you just watched three in a row. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, I felt like, um, I was really enjoyed watching all like the TikTok's because I like missed a lot of stuff when we were watching it. And this isn't a spoiler because this was I don't know what episode this is,

but it was in the middle. Um. But there's this theory that one of Daphne and Cameron's kids is the trainer's kid. I don't know what that means, shoot, but this point I'm fascinated by the mindset of that because I feel like Netflix is seeing the kind of hype HBO is getting on some of these shows like White Lotus that everyone's talking about every single week, and that's why they pushed the last few episodes of Stranger Things until months later, and that's why they're doing Harry and

Megan three this week, three next week. That like, I think being influenced by that. Plus, I think a lot of people when they want to watch a show that that's binge able, they buy the service for a month, watch it, and then cancel it. But if you can keep going for nine ten weeks, then you got them for three months instead of one. Yeah. I mean that. Although, but then you have shows like Wednesday that are just like massive and it doesn't matter. I mean, I think

it just it's like varies from show to show. But I do think that based on what everyone says about White Lotus, which is like, yeah, there's so much happening that leads to nothing, I think a lot of that is the excitement of like having to wait a week before you see what happens. I have some beef with the success of Today and Stranger Things and stuff, because those are they're good shows. And like Allison just watched

all Wednesday and she liked it. But all those stats are coming from Netflix and they're like, you know, Wednesday was watched by ten trillion people, uh, just as the first episode, and like to report that, like that has to be fact. Like they can't just make that up, right, They can say whatever they want that they're controlling that data. Yeah,

what do you mean? I can't just say, like I have a billion people watching my Instagram story because we can tell because Instagram is public with their numbers, but if all the numbers and Instagram are private, you can say whatever you want. It wouldn't be illegal. The only person or individuals that would want that information like clarified or advertisers, which Netflix does not have, so whatever they want.

That's a good point. But I gauge hype differently. It's just how many people do I know that are talking about it and how much am I seeing on my social media feed? And based on that, Wednesday's pretty massive right now. Maybe not quite White Lotus massive, but it's pretty big. But I wonder if it fades quicker because of the binge able element of it. Yeah, Like I watched Wednesday all in a two days basically, and so my like my high low was then then and there,

like I didn't care any more, like a snack. It's more forgettable. Yeah, Like I want to talk about on the podcast, like I was like so excited to come on here and talk about why Lotus and then like you guys in my parade, so you talked about it a lot, probably more than well I know, But like I want to talk about more theories that I saw on TikTok, Like I missed so many things that they were showing me on TikTok that I was like, oh

my gosh, how the heck did I miss this? And I also watched this show like not on my phone. I was watching it like I wasn't distracted, And the fact that I missed some of these nuggets, I'm like, how did I miss these? But it's the binge able shows that like a season two will come out a long years later and I'll be like, I think I watched that show. Is that something I watched? Like it's so forgettable when you binge him quickly. Yeah, that's how I also feel about Well, I feel this way about

everything that we have, like movies and music. I feel or albums like I feel like it all like we get everything, and it's like stream stream stream, and then it's like we want more, Like we've done, we've done it, you know, we've listened, we've watched, and then it's like what's next, And the artists are like, we're suffering. We're

trying to keep up and we can. That's why I'm so happy that our podcast comes out once a week the same I know people are just chomping at Shomping Podcast like they just want to binge it every single day, but like, no, no, you cannot, no, no, no, you have to wait. You have to wait, like white white lotus adjacent, Yes, yes, white lotus scrubbing in. I forgot to talk about um at the holiday party when I had that prosthetical and I couldn't breathe through my nose,

like literally, I could not breathe through my nose. I would suffocate. And I realized which I noticed this about a year ago. I had gotten a facial and she had covered my face like a mask, and she had like put holes where I could breathe, but that was really the only the only orifice I was able to breathe out of. And I got so anxious I had to ask her to take it off because I felt like I was going to have like a panic attack, like like claustrophobia. And I've never been like that. I've

never gotten panicked by that at all. So something happened. I don't know if it's my age or whatever. So when he put the nose on, he was like, by the way, you're not gonna be able to breathe out of your nose, And I was like, Okay, that's fine. You know, I'll breathe out my mouth. He put it on and I had to like fully self soothe myself. Like I was like internally, like you're fine, you can

breathe through your mouth. You're not. You're okay, Like you just have to get used to breathing through your mouth. It's like if you have a cold, you know. It was the craziest thing. So all night when I was trying to eat, just have like a conversation that went longer than like thirty seconds. It was he winded so stressed. I was so winded. It was so stressful, and everyone like on Instagram was like I have so much in anxiety knowing that you couldn't breathe out of your nose.

I was like, yeah, it was. I can't believe actors and actress is just deal with that part of the But can we get an update on your ability to smell and taste? Um? Yeah, I think I'm like at like like I still have Yeah, I'm pretty I think I'm back, But like I don't know, is it altered forever? Like am I just like am I at like fifty but because it's better, it feels like ninety. I don't know, but my bad smell isn't remember how like I only smelled one smell for every bad smell. That's not like

that anymore. Every bad smell smelled the same to you, Is that what you're saying. Every bad smell smelled like throw up. Oh I don't know how so like rotten trash or something. I don't even know how to explain it. But it was horrible, but also some bad smells. I was like, that could have been worse. Like I was like kind of like, alright, that could have been worse,

the same rotten trashmell. No dead serious though, Actually that happened in a porter potty where I was like, this smells like every other bad smell, This could be worse. Like I think I'd rather smell my bad smell than that one. I actually smells like, Okay, we're gonna take a break and then we'll be back with some emails.

All right, we are back. Before we do emails, though, there was this cruel rumor, and Hannah is the one who sent it to me that said that they were doing a holiday sequel with like like that thing came and went so fast that was the biggest story in the world. Yeah, herds were and then hearts were broken within a matter of like a half an hour. It was so sad, like and get to happen? Like who started that? And like how did it? Like? It wasn't like BuzzFeed. It was like like I don't remember where

did the Daily Mail or something that posted it. I don't think it was I don't know. I don't think any of the sources I saw were legit. Like I remember being like who's that? What? Yeah? What outlet is that? Um? But I saw on TikTok one of the daughters in the movie Jude Law's Daughters, she's like all grown up now and she was she posted she was like, hi, like I played the daughter in the first one and I'm sorry to let you know it's not true. And

I was like, oh my god, just heartbreak after heartbreak. Yeah, so that was upset. It was like you were right. It was like this high and then just like a sharp, sharp sharp plummet. Do you want? What else is there to tell? Like I want to see where they are out I do. Maybe they switch again, Oh yeah, maybe they switched with someone new, like we add and maybe it's like white lotus, like just more characters are added into it. It was like the original cast and like,

I want to see like the girls grown up. I want to see camer Diaz as a step mom. I want to see them go to l A and have like a double date with what's their nuts? Like, that's what I want. I think we needed stronger plot than that. You I'm not a screenwriter, Okay, I'm not. I'm not a plot twister. I'm just just a consumer over here. Yeah, this is why, this is why I never made it past the rumor Miller Miller, mill Um. Yeah, but I'm

the same. Like part of me had mixed feelings about it, because like sometimes when they try to do a sequel, I'm like, you know, let's just leave something for what it was, which that is just like the greatest Christmas movie. Like yeah, but like their read boot was so good. Yeah. I did actually like the but a lot of people were like, this is not it, but ed you and I enjoyed it, all right, Mark, let's do some emails,

all right, beca thank you very much. This is anonymous, and she says, my best friend gave birth four weeks ago, and this weekend I went to go visit her for the night. She and her husband have lived across the country from Maybe they recently moved just three hours away. While meeting her baby was also my first time spending time with her husband. I always had my suspicions that he wasn't super nice to her, but after this weekend

those suspicions were confirmed. He's nice in a way that he'll run errands and offer to do things for her. But she mentioned she was near her pre baby weight only four weeks postpartum, and her husband laughed and said, yeah, but you don't look the same, that's for sure. She laughed it off, but he said multiple things this weekend that we're not supportive. She doesn't even react or seem to think anything's wrong with it. I'm just sitting there

in shock. Would you say to your friend, hey, you're it should be nicer to you, or would you just let it go since she doesn't seem super bothered by it. I mean, I mean, like, here's the thing. Your your friend is hearing the same stuff that you're hearing, and obviously it's not affecting her the same way it's affecting you. Like,

I don't know, I'm triggy. I feel tricky about like stepping and telling something that their husband sucks, because like that's their husband and like they're they're witnessing it too, do you know what I mean? Like it's not like he's doing something behind her back. I would say, like

I wouldn't step in at all. The only thing I would do is like, if you're around her and you order to hear something again, I would step in and be like, I think you look amazing, like you just had a baby, and like like kind of counter his words because maybe that will make her think like that's not very like what he's saying to me isn't very nice, or you know, or maybe she'll realize, but it doesn't. The sad part is like she's either used to it or she thinks like she deserves it, you know. And

and I think both of those are unfortunate. But I don't think it's like necessarily your place to step in and be like he's wore, he's the worst person ever. But I do think maybe you can like counter his words with something that's nice so that she maybe has a moment of like an aha moment of like, oh, he's says like hurtful things sometimes, Yeah, yeah, I think it'd be different if it was a boyfriend. Correct, Yeah, husband, that ship is sailed. Every marriage is different. Every you know,

the way the couple's interact, every woman, everybody's different. So, yeah, you gotta skip this one. They might be that couple where like he says something to her and she's like, well, you don't want the same either, where they're just gonna like mean to each other, but like they're not bothered by I personally would not do well with that, but you know, to each his own, her own their own. This is from say I have a crush on a girl I have in two of my college classes. She's

incredibly gorgeous and has this really good energy. I can't explain it. She has radiates goodness. She's still bubbly when she talks. I want to ask if she wanted to go out some time in person. Two things, I've only talked to her in class and for class related things, so I don't really talk to her outside of class. So to be honest, anyone could say that I don't really know her. Number two, I don't know if she's in the girls. She comes off as straight and more backstory.

I have her Instagram and when I hypothetically went on Instagram to see what celebrity she follows. None of it our typical l G B t Q people. I know from a friend that she did it a guy last year, but they broke up. So should I even act on it? Should I ask her out? How do I go about it? Again? Should I even act on it? Cheese? I don't think

that's for this particular situation. And I think maybe, I mean, there's a way where you could like go get coffee or something and then you know, get to know her and see if that's even if she's even into girls. But it's just like it's kind of it's trickier because it's assumed, like you know, she you're it's assumed that she's straight. But like it would be the same thing like if a guy was writing in and he was like, I have a crush on this beautiful girl, Like should

I make a move? But you want to respect the boundary of like you know, her sexuality, but also you can I think, as a friend asked to like go get coffee and then and then see like if you can open up that conversation so that you feel confident

moving into the next phase. But I mean I don't think so, because like if you like not knowing somebody's sexuality, Like what if you see somebody in the car and like you're attracted them and you want to just hit on them in the car, do you know what I mean, Like you don't know what you're saying, you do that, or you like on the phone and you're like, hey, like can I get your number? I think just did not work out for you, Mr. It didn't work out per se, but like it was it was an avenue

to you know what I mean? Like dating, This dating is you just like try, try, try, until like you find the one. And I feel like that's what she should do. She should just, like I mean flirt, just like flirt a little bit and see if like she flirts back. Like you don't have to like ask her on a date, but you could be definitely be flirty and see if she's flirty back, and if she's giving you vibes, then like take it from there. But you don't have to like not flirt with someone because they

might not be into girls. No, No, I'm not saying don't flirt with her. I'm saying, like before you ask her out on a date, like get like do something that's a little more less steaks, but with Haley. Like Haley was all night when we met kept asking like his back into girls, and we were like no, no, no,

Like we were just setting up with my sister. And then when we were all supposed to go out and get drinks and everyone bailed, we went and I it thinking like I left that night and I told my sister as I was leaving, I was like, is she gonna get the wrong impression? Like I've never been out like one on one with the gay girl, so like, I don't know if she's going to get the wrong impression if I go and get drinks with her and then we hit it off. Yeah she did, and she

was right too. But um but I'm saying like I went with the intention of like I'm gonna go and get a drink with this girl because she was like nice and fun the other night. So I don't think it has to be like, oh I need to know if we're going to date or not. I think you can do something that's more casual without the steaks and get to know her and see where the conversation leads and if there's chemistry there, yeah vib Yeah, you gotta.

You gotta flirt a little bit and see if there's any kind of an opening here, because it sounds like there's not. It sounds like you haven't been given one at all. And until you're given something, I think you need something to go on here, because I don't it's not like you want to be friends with this person. If you do, then there's ways to kind of if you're fine with that, there's ways to kind of go about it. But until then, I don't. I don't know.

I think you gotta hang back a bit. I just you need some sort of some sort of a green light from her. Right now. It's just a woman you don't know who gives off total straight vibes. We're all strangers at the beginning. Yeah, until we're not right, But that's that's exactly. We need to not be strangers. But we need to not make it romantic right away. We

need not be strangers first. I don't know, unless unless she matched with her on a dating site where she was literally like looking like she's on there looking to match with people and go on dates. I think it's too It's like I'm I'm I'm with Mark. In the sense of like waiting for an opening or like seeing

if you feel chemistry. Because also if she had a boyfriend and she doesn't fall I know, it's silly to think of like who they follow, but unless she's like, you know, I wouldn't want anyone to know, or like, wouldn't want anyone to assume you might be right. But

I'm with Mark. I think maybe you wait for an opening where maybe there's a study opportunity or you're in a group setting and y'all can have a one on one conversation and just like you know, it opens up to see if there's any chemistry there, because you might get her one on one and she might be like total friend vibes. You might be like, I'm not getting anything here, and then you have your answer. Yeah, you end up at a party that she happens to be at.

Oh my gosh, you're in my class. Hey, how are you? That's great, and then you can figure out if there's anything there at all. And yeah, do you listen to Haley Kiyoko, that's a great opening line. Um. So, yeah, that's tough, and I know that's been like Haley has

always talked about that. That's her, you know, it's always and heart for her too with that, and I think she was shocked that, like when we hung out, I was very um like comfortable just acknowledging that there was something there as opposed to making her feel like she was crazy, you know, because I think a lot of times if people are not confident their sexuality and they're scared or unsure, they can like kind of make the other person feel like they made everything up in their heads.

So I think Hayley was very like happy that I didn't do that and that I just acknowledged, like, yeah, there was definitely something there tonight and and I acted on it the following day. So there's some encouragement. There's some encouragement for you. Um. I think that's all we have for today, but we do have a really exciting episode coming another a double episode coming up again this week. We're gonna be with av en Um and I'm very excited for that, So stay tuned. I have to finished

packing and get off to the White House. Yeah, I gotta go jet off to the White House. So um, we'll be back on Thursday, and we love you all so much and we'll talk to you later. By we love you bye. If you want to talk, my lotus d m me bye.