Foolish Ones

Ready' all.

M h yeah.

Scrubbing In with Tilly and Tanya rap an iHeartRadio podcast.

Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.

So much to talk about. I'm back from VAK, back from Bak Taytay t t and tay.

All the days, uh what else? So much to talk about, just.

So much talk about. I'm not engaged.

Oh okay, waita.

Just like to just put it out there. There's an elephant in the room. I'm just gonna bring that elephant right onto the front here.

Yeah, thank you for doing that, because I've been getting people were like, Becca, tell us, do.

You know I'm like searching me, like I'm hiding in I'm gonna and I'm like I'm like, God, that thing would be on my hand and I'd be talking.

I'd be doing a live from the scene.

So no, I'm not hiding anything.

Yeah.

Somebody messaged me last night because I was doing a video about Love Island and I had like the sheets over me and they're like, there's a rock under your finger. I was like, no, all right, got that out of the way. We should tease that.

That could have been a teaser. Sorry, we'll be back again.

Get the answer is no, but can we start with hilarious story?

Yeah?

Well there, I mean, there's so much to like.

The story on me and it's really funny.

Oh great.

So it's our last night in Paris and we had an early flight the next morning to go back home, and uh, we stayed out late. We stayed up till like two o'clock in the morning, and I like woke up and I like smell like I was in like Willy Wonk and the chocolate factory. I literally was like, I smell like the deepest smell of chocolate I've ever smelled in my life. I thought I was dreaming it, Like it was so weird. And Robbie woke up in the middle of night. We were both like awake because

Oh my god, what is that?

So you know how they leave the little chocolates on your I didn't know we had one of those, and so I slept in the chocolate, like my head was buried deep in this mile of you chocolate.

Or look a pillow before you put your hand on it.

Maive me the details of what I myself in there.

We're all gonna think of doing some freaky chocolate things, not at all.

And I was actually piss because once I was like, does this smells so good? And he goes, yeah, I ate mine. It was like hazel chocolate was my favorite. So it was a piss that I couldn't even try it, and then I like felt bad. So this was like the middle that was like three am, and he's like, just go, grab like a towel over it so that

I pooped the bed.

So I tried to like pick it up. Then I like left the wrapper on there. It was just a mess.

You don't think that they'd be able to smell if that was poop versus chocolate.

I don't know, Like Robbie can't smell anything.

He took me that checked out.

Yeah, it's the sinest thing is just because you just come back backa.

Yes, But like sometimes I don't.

Like we were on the plane back and I was in the middle seat and then the girl next to me and Haley both had their shirt over their nose and Haley's like, baby, don't smell that. And I was like, no, like is my do I have COVID or something? Because I can't smell this And she's like that's the worst smell. And I look over and the girl next to me on her notes covered. But then on the way there, I got some you know how people just fart on planes. It pisses me off. No, Like seriously, I get that.

The sleep off.

Yeah.

So yesterday Haley said that she she had a she like, met with someone and she was like, yeah, they smelled like sleep. And I was like, do you see what I'm saying? So now she understands.

Still, never, once you smell sleep on someone, you will never unsmell it ever.

Again, it's so recognizable one to want to do.

It, especially like my dating life in college was that scent?

Yeah, I am devastated by this.

Yeah, I know I'm not going to say any names, but you know who you are if good listening.

Your whole dating life in college was that sense?

Yes, sinky college boys in a frat house, like rolling out of bed and going to class like that is the epitome of.

Full body chills. Now my spines so.

On all it's a blessing that Robbie can't smell for me.

Wait, why you know?

It's just nice? I feel very secure and uh if I am gassy or anything like that is always a silent He's like totally oblivio.

So if he can smell it, then it's like.

That he could the chocolate that was all over me, and he's like right next to me and just goes to show you that he has no sense of smell.

Wow, how was the trip?

Aside from you did you got the lead right out the gate not engaged?

But how is the rest of the trip?

Truly one of the like the most magical experiences. I'll never forget this trip. I cry probably like three or four times when we got to Paris because I've always wanted to see the Eiffel Tower, and so I cried on our way into Paris, when I saw it and we were landing, I cried on the plane, and then I cried when we saw it for the first time in real life like during the day, and then I cried and I saw it light up at night. So it was like really emotional, and it was really fun

I'll be honest.

When I saw the pink dress come out, I was like, well, dang, it's not happening quick because yeah, everything else, everything else, It was like.

Dude, the pink dress came out.

To be honest, I'm packing for a trip. I always packed like a specific color just because I only did a carry on.

Yeah, so I only was impressive.

I only wanted to have shoes that matched like that, you know what I mean. Like I didn't bring a black pair of heel right or anything. So everything was like white was the vibe. Sometimes black is the vibe. This was white was the vibe, and uh a more practically every day. Wow.

Yeah, I just just to be ready to be ready in case.

But alas we're here.

Songs a ring songs.

Yeah I didn't. Here's the thing I joke about it. I was like sad a little bit, but it doesn't take away from the trip. Like I really know, I didn't have expectations going in, and I really really had the best time ever.

So yeah, I think everyone else had the expectations. But you were even like No, we're just like going on the trip. Yeah, but you can. You are always prepared. It's never bad to be prepared, That's what I say.

Yeah, I know, like just when.

You're there, there's gonna be a moment where you're like, oh, this would be nice.

But when the Eiffel Towers let playing right behind us at midnight, you know, I was like the saxophonist is playing love songs on his saxophone. You know, it's like.

Glancing like maybe he'll go on the knee. When I turned my head this way.

Do you want me to go pick something up down the street? We want to go get a bottle of wine at the vendor right there something.

Wait, did you like Paris better than the south of France?

So different?

I mean yeah, very different.

Yeah, like beach vibes versus city vibes. We like, we took those vests because it was so fun. We saw so much of the city in like a day because we had these little our uber to Like the restaurant was like forty five minutes and I was like, this is this Traffic is wild? So yeah, found these little lime scooters and just limed around the whole town. I know, I saw so much of Paris.

I was like, that was really smart. Yeah, smart way to do things.

And then I tried to convince him to get two of us on one. I was like, beck, can I do this all the time. It's possible.

I don't know if we did it all the time. We did it desperation one time. It's not my choice.

Stole scooters and I was like, I guess we're gonna go on one together.

Yeah, it's hard to balance, so we got to activate the core.

Yeah yeaheah, how was your trip?

It was amazing.

And you know what's so funny is I was like I could have also brought a carry on, but I didn't, but it could happen because.

Look back at it, because I'm like, I still had two outfits to burn. Really yeah, wow.

I just I packed.

I worked so hard to put que outfits together, and I think I wore two of them because.

You don't wear a lot of cute stuff, so like, yeah, we justsked a couple of cute things and then lounge stuff.

But like we would we would just like go from the beach to dinner, so I'd just like wear my cover up in my bathing suit and that's like why it's so fun to go there because there's no expectation of needing to look a certain way.

But exactly, we did.

A resort for the first three four days, and that was amazing because it was just like sleep. Well, we didn't really I will say, I get on a really healthy schedule in Hawaii. I wake up with like seven, go to bed at like nine.

Nice. I was the opposite. We were going about like three, sleeping till noon.

Yeah, well it's different when that time changed. But and so we go to sleep. It's a lot of sleep nine seven.

This sounds like heaven to me. Beautiful, beautiful. Look at that fresh face over there. Some well slept skin.

I got a lot of rest.

And and so it was like we'd go into the ocean and just like float in the ocean and like the water there is just magical.

Was it warm?

Yeah, it was like warm, but like refreshing, you know, like you'd get in you're like, oh, it feels good. And then we go the pool, go under the cabana play cards.

It was just like perfect.

And then we went to an airbnb, which also is really fun because it's like we went got our groceries, had like our little home base, made sandwiches for the beach, went on you know, adventures.

It was so fun.

But let me just tell everybody about this sandwich paste that I learned about in France. Taste taste. Okay, you take pistachios and you crumble them up like into like fine powder, not powder, but like crunched up pistachio olive oil. Okay, parmesan cheese.

Mmm.

You put that as like a like a little paste on your sandwich. Spread a spread, get paste on so so gross. It was like a spread and that is heaven in your mouth. Wow, try and recreate it here. Because we went to this like sandwich place and ate it and I was like, this is the most fantastic. Sounds so good. Robbie's like I can make that.

I was gonna say, I feel like YA could make that if you do.

Yeah, yeah, we will for sure.

We put some fresh sandwiches and bread from Italy.

Yes exactly, yeah, exactly, exactly exactly.

So one of the nights Haley and I we she was like, I found this really this really popular burger spot and it's on like top five best places in Maui. So we look it up. And we we drive to it. By the way, we rented a jeep and like took the Uh.

It's fun.

It's so fun. We had the best time.

In Brocco, now, don't you no, Okay.

But it was really fun on vacation. And so we go we pull up this burger place and it's in a gas station. It's like adjacent to a gas station, and we're like, I'm like.

Is this it?

And she goes, I promise it's on this list of like best places in Mali.

It was the.

Best burger I have ever had in my entire life. Really, it's called Haven's if you're in Mali. It was incredible.

So we actually went to like the best burger place in Paris. She has her quotes U s it's like Kim Kardashian said, it was like the best burger place. And it's actually a really cute little place, like it's like a little maybe like ten tables, very very French, like, okay.

It's fine.

It was fine.

Yeah.

I was like I would get down on an in and out burger over this, to be honest.

We that was our first place when we got back.

In and out.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's always our like go to when we return from a travel. It was just so nice to go. And you know, Hayley's been gone and had tour and then she got back from tour and it was still like NonStop work for her basically all of June. So it was so so nice to just go and like be together with no distractions and just like spend time together. And it was just such a nice relaxing trip and we did not want to come home.

Yeah, I felt that.

Yeah, it was.

It's so crazy because a week, like when you're on vacation, feels like such a long time, but then it also feels quick.

Oh my god.

I felt like we were there for like three days. It went by so fast.

But then when you think about everything that you did, I know, yeah, back, I'm like, oh my gosh, Like that was felt like so long ago. Like, Okay, we went to the hotel. Did you watch Sofia Richie's wedding closely at all?

No?

I don't think as closely as you did.

But I didn't watch it that close to but Paulina, it like was like very invested in it. And so we went to the hotel that like she rented out and like got married at and that was crazy because I was like looking at the pictures from her wedding and like seeing it in real life and like realizing that the aisle she went down took her seven and a half minutes to walk down. So we like walked down and I was like, yeah, I'm tired, Like I'm a half minutes its long long.

Yeah that feels a little excessive. Yeah, but was it stunning?

Stunning? And so I was going through all of her photos that I saw what I'm.

Trying to recreate Robbie.

Yeah, Robbie so romantic. Here. I look at this backdrop, perfect place for a wedding, people get married here, So weird that we're here. Yeah, but that was like beautiful. I mean, I don't know, I just I did a lot of things. I ate a lot of things. I drank a lot. But I feel I'm very happy.

Great, I'm glad. I felt.

I had this moment like multiple times on the trip where I was like, I feel so grateful that we get to do this. Yeah, you know, like to go on a trip like this and like have this time together and like get to experience what we get to experience.

I had a lot of those moments.

I think that's what was hitting me in Paris. I'm like, I've had Paris on my vision board for so many years, Like truly, I've had Paris on my vision board. I'll go back and check, but it's been what oh yeah, yeah, well, like Paris was opposite, like not like what's the word tanging gentile, tangential and gentile to like anything else. But I always wanted to go to Paris, Like I've just always wanted to go, And so the fact that I was actually there, it was like, I don't know, it's really crazy.

Yeah, that's really cool to get to go somewhere that evil, like, especially somewhere like that, because it's so iconic.

And I was always like, I want to be in love when I go there, you know what I mean. Like, I feel like that was like a whole different element to being in Paris, you know what I mean.

Yeah, you didn't want to be like Tanya in Paris, like living your single life in Paris. You wanted to go like, yeah, ea, croissants with the love of your life.

In Paris, you know, oh my god, I take Paris.

That's fun.

Yeah, it was not that and didn't want it to be that vibe. I wanted to be like in love in Paris.

I will say though, I'd subscribe to Tatiana in Paris.

Really yeah, there's no okay you're single and you want a hot hook up. The French Riviera is where it's at. It was dripping in hot eyes, Like I was like, what is going on? Yeah on.

It, we found your next destination, next destination.

Like it was so crazy.

It's a it's a hot spot right now that Spain. I feel like everyone's kind of like over there just living me.

I saw a dog. French love dogs. I saw a dog every single day that yeah about and I would like go and like grab the dog and like hug the dog, and like I really missed Sunny.

We had a funny moment where there were these There was this like really really southern couple next to us laying on the loungers. This is right when we got to our hotel and the woman walked by and I.

Was like, oh, I love your some suit topic where is that from?

And she was just kind of like it was on Instagram and like was a little bit like kind of rude, and I didn't think anything of it. I was just like all right whatever, And later on Haley's like, I got really upset at how that lady responded to you.

And I was like, what do you mean?

And she was like, well, because like you went out of your way to compliment her, and she was she was just like not nice back, and I got I felt like really defensive for you, and I was like, oh, I was like that's okay, And so like every time we see this lady, we'd be like.

There she is.

But it was cute that Haley got like riled up because in the passing moment, I didn't think anything of it.

And she was like, I just always feel.

Like Southern people are just supposed to be so sweet and like I always imagine them being like really like overly friendly, and I was like, well, it's just like anywhere, just it's just an accent. It's not People are still gonna be people.

Ain't that the truth? People are gonna be people.

We gotta take a break with these.

Birthday coming up. So bossy with the breaks.

He tries to give us a hand symbol and then we always announced that Mark's giving us.

It's fun.

It's fun, but like an air airplane guy like on the tarmac. Land right here, take a break and be right back.

We'll be back to talk about all things tailors. All right, we're back, We're back. I just have to say, tell me, am I glowing.

You are glowing, You're so tan.

Okay, thank you. I don't tan, like I just don't tan. And I was putting like fifty SPF every day. Yeah, but as our workout every day, we would like swim, so we would like swim out to the buoies and so I got I was like in the sun, but I never I just get red. And I feel like this is the first time that like I actually got a little color.

You look like you got a spray tan.

No, and I'm not even in Bronza right now. I know I'm just saying or too fresh face. Yeah, yeah, thank you.

Yeah, so congrats, thank you, thank you to gettamin d.

Yeah, finally got a tan, natural tan.

Yeah.

You just need the French sun, south of France sun. Yeah, it is different. Like even we were saying in Hawaii, like Halen and I both got tan, and I was like I haven't been tanned like naturally and forever it.

Stays light until ten pm over there. Oh, whoa. I was having dinner at nine o'clock, nine thirty and like the sun is still out, and I realized that I am a woman of the sun. You are I am.

You're the sunshine mine and body I.

Am the sunshine mine in body form because like this, when the sun's out, I thriving. I could be out. I was having dinner at ten pm and then the sun goes down and I'm like, I got to hit the bed. I think that's why I'm such a homebody when I'm at home, because when it's dark out, I don't like to be outside. I think the economy would like really boost it if we stayed light out till late because everybody will be out warm.

What do we do for this?

I don't know me as president?

Oh hell, we just can't do that to whatever.

The next election is.

Your sun out, tonya? Do you not know when the next election is?

That the next year job?

So while we were gone, it.

Feels too soon for me, but maybe the next one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got to work on some other things. First things happen when.

We were gone.

So much happened.

Well speak now Taylor's version came out. Yes, I need your opinions on vault.

Do you have any favorites?

Yes, I do have favorites. Let me, I don't want to mess up this.

Well, if she looks them up, I will tell you that When Emma falls in Love is a favorite of mine, and the idea that it may be about Emma Stone makes it more a favorite of mine.

Oh, it's about It's potentially about Emma Stone.

The rumors, that's what the Swifties are saying is when they were really close back then and they speak now era that's when she wrote the song, and that's what they think, and I think that makes it even sweeter song. I also really like Timeless, and they like Castle's Crumbling. There I've spoken.

Castle's Crumbling is one of my favorites. I can see you as one of my favorites. And Electric Touch.

How is no one talking about the How is no one saying foolish one?

It's so good? Like don't you like You're not the exception? Like that? Is? That is Tanya? Pretty? Robbie? Really?

Yes?

Do you want me to read lyrics?

So, if I'm being honest, you didn't listen? No, No, I did. I listened, but like normally I would have listened to this all the Bald Songs fifteen thousand times by now. Yeah, but I didn't really start listening to like I got home on Sunday, so I've only had like a day to listen.

Foolish one, stop checking your mailbox for confessions of love. They ain't ever gonna come. You will take the long way, you will get the long way down. You know how to keep me waiting. I know how to act like I'm fine. Don't know what to call the situation, but I know I can't call you mine, and it's delicate, but I will do my best to see bulletproof. It's basically like uh, Gigi from He's not that.

Into, He's just got that into you listen to this song.

I was like, I know Tanya is gonna love this one. I'm so shook that you didn't.

I'm going to give it another chance because I watched He's Just Got That Indie on my flight home on whatever day. Yes today, I didn't get the ring and so watching he's just.

Looking to see if he's looking over to see what she's watching.

But I love her characters so much, and like every time I watch that movie, I'm so reminded of how much I am Gigi in that movie, because like she's so naive and so oblivious and like doesn't care because she just has like such a hopeful heart. You know, She's like, I don't care how many rejections I get. I don't care how many doors are slimed on my face, Like I'm still going to show up and I'm still I still believe in love. And I was like, yeah, I do.

So. People put this song Foolish one on TikTok and the sound like the sound name is called Delulu girls like delusional girls, so like they'll be doing no because they're saying they're like delusion.

Okay, your word for no, your word for naive is the gen z Delulu. Well, Delulu is so rude.

No, I hope gen z get a little it.

No, it's being like it's being like, oh, he just hasn't texted me because he's probably he probably lost his phone and he probably.

Fine because he wasn't your person. It's okay, Okay, it's called hope gen Z.

No. I think more like your word of being like I'm so naive. Like there that's them saying like I'm delusional. I can be delusional.

Moments. You've had your moments called I love that, like he wol have lost the phone, like maybe he left dropped in the ocean, like maybe It's like he had so many different reasons why something wasn't happening.

And look where I am today.

It's well, look worse she has to say, people, where I am now?

Sleeping on her chocolates?

Chocolates on my pillow?

Oh man?

So okay, So anyways, so anyways, back to Taylor, there was also.

A lyric change and better than revenge.

I found that really interesting.

I couldn't understand what she's saying. But go ahead, no, because I someone posts it. But I can't hear what the lyrics are.

Okay, what the old lyrics were. Uh, she's better known for the maker she does on the mattress, which you could say is luck shaming.

Right, That's why she changed it.

That's why she changed I mean, she hasn't said so, but I think that is why she changed it, because now she says, uh, she is okay, original lyrics. She's better known for the things that she does on the mattress. Well, the new one is he was a moth to the flames, she was holding the mattress.

Whoa, which is pretty good.

It's pretty Oh you're making a face back up. I think it's a pretty solid lyric change if you're going to needed I love.

A moth to a Flame comparison.

I love the lyrics.

I think the lyrics great, like she's such a genius songwriter, but I liked the bitterness and better than revenge. Oh yeah, yeah, so Ashley, I posted, I don't know. I don't just I just don't know if I'm into the maturity.

But that's the thing is she was what nineteen twenty when she wrote these songs.

Yeaheah.

I feel like thirty three you're gonna have some recross, Like isn't there a song where she says you're gay?

Like she took cut out thought which song?

That's fine, I'll tell man you're gay by the way get out. Yeah, that's fine, I'll tell mine.

I don't know what she's say the Picture to Burn original lyrics of.

Picture to Burn, what she changed it to that's fine.

I'm not sure I'll find out. The point is the point is that I think she's evolving, yes, but also I think it's her.

Oh art, she said that's fine. You won't mind if I say that's the change.

Okay, We're all on board with her re recording her albums right one hundred percent into the Taylor's versions. Yeah, so I think we all have to be on board with her making a little tweaks on the way.

About the weird stuff I probably wrote in my journal when I was nineteen years old. It's totally embarrassing. Oh my gosh.

No, I think she's a genius.

I just I loved the I loved the pettiness of Better Than Revenge.

It was fun. It's a revenge song.

Yeah. Anyway, being honest, if I'm being honest now, it was never one of my favorite albums.

I will say I have some favorite songs from the album, but as a whole.

Whole, it was not like I'm with you up on the mantle, I'm with you.

My daughters, who are Swifties to the nth degree, especially over the past year, they love speaking now and they're very excited for Taylor's version. A couple so they felt like Dear John didn't have the passion and anger in it from the original, especially the line I'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town. She felt like it was angry in the first version, where it was just kind of a lyric. In the second, yeah, because.

She's in a difference int of mind, She's like whatever, John Mayer, Yeah.

I do, I do like that.

At her concert, she was like, we talked about this, but she was like, hey, no need to verbally attack.

The uh the but yeah, I mean, no need to verbally attack the Tamy Ones because she really brought that guy back.

I mean, but everyone loves Taylor. He was a good boy for he was a good ex.

He was the good ex. But man, she do it cool with.

That he is so I will just say, when I watched the video, I was like, Taylor is so talented. Yeah, like he is him doing those stunts and stuff, like, he is just so talented, and I just I'm so happy for him.

I am too. I love that he's like having a big moment right now because he is like one of the nicest guys ever.

Yeah, and his wife Taylor is also one of the coolest girls ever. Because someone was saying, like, to be that secure to have everyone being like, well, I want to be mad if Taylor and Taylor Swift got back together, you know, and she was just like all along for the ride, like this is awesome.

Yeah, they're both cool. I'm so happy for them.

So interesting to have the name Taylor and then date multiple tailors in your life. That's so weird, so weird.

If I dated a Tanya, that would be so weird. Come here, Tanya, I guess why dog?

Yeah, you talk to And then when she brought him out on stage in Kansas City, he did the fly.

I know, it's just cool. Yeah, it was cool. I was happy to see that.

Yeah, me too. There was something else I was gonna talk about.

Were about frand Maria getting engaged.

I was going to bring that up there as girls.

So that you gonna bring up.

I'll bring that up after chick.

Don't forget it.

The chicks are engaged. Congratulations.

Yeah, it's so okay. So so I saw Frank Who's it first as she got engaged, and oh my gosh, look at this podcast. Hast engaged on her European vacation. Babe, how cool is that? And then and then Sunday, I think it was Sunday, I was definitely back from vacation and Rhea posted that she got engaged, and I was like, babe, remember that podcast girl that I was telling you got engaged on her European vacation. Her podcast host co host

I love that spin?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it got me thinking, like, if you and I were to get engaged in the same week, how crazy is that?

Crazy? You're really itching for it a little more than than I am over here. So I don't know if that's gonna happen, but it'd be very right.

You never know.

They're gonna ask when they're gonna ask.

So right, yeah, I know that's true. That's true. It would be crazy, but that is ironic because friend has been with her guy for years and then Ria and her guy have not been together as long. But it was kind of like when you know, you know type thing.

Yeah, So, like, how crazy is that?

I'm so excited for?

How crazy is that in the same week.

I know.

I'm going to listen to their podcast to hear their sides of the story.

I know, I was thinking I just sld their posts. Oh, I was going to bring up the Jonah Hill in his ex girlfriend post.

So I'm a little behind on pop culture. Pop culture thing. Yeah, it was very like I really did unplug like from just pop culture stuff. And then when I got back, I was just in taylor Land. I'm like, oh, yeah, really focus on, like there's just a lot going on in Taylorland. Was what what's going on? John Hill?

So basically his ex I don't know the details of.

Howls of an old conversation, right.

Yes, but I don't know how long they've been broken up, Like I don't.

Know when he's married. Now is he married?

He had a baby with his girlfriend Olivia, He's not married. Ah, but he's being accused of being emotionally abusive by his ex girlfriend, whose name is Sarah.

This is it's interesting because it's taken. There's two sides. People have taken two sides of this because people are like she, uh so she posted the text where he's basically like, I don't want you posting these photos where you're a bikini. She's a professional surfer, she models. She's like the photos of her are like surfing in swimsuits.

He was like, that's a good start.

Very it felt very controlling, and then he was like, here are my boundaries, and he listed all of his boundaries. But the boundaries kind of sounded like this is like almost like I need to control what you do in post.

So it's interesting because like, I think everybody has boundaries, right I.

Think it's healthy to have boundaries in conversation, like conversations.

About like you're never going to find someone that's one hundred percent on the same page of everything as you. But like I would never be with someone that told me what I can wear or not wear, or like not to post bikini photos or you know. I mean, like I just would not be with somebody that was like that. But if you're choosing to be with somebody like that, then you're choosing to be with somebody like that, right.

Well, I think it was kind of like one of those things when you're in it, and especially when you're using language from therapy, which is like I'm setting my boundaries, like here are my intentions. It's almost like you're using this like therapy language to control And so I think when you're in it, you're feeling like you don't recognize it as like someone trying to control you. Yeah, you just think, oh, they're just this is the compromise of

You don't see it when you're in it.

Yeah, And when they were like those messages were triggering to read because I was with an abuser and this is like this happens, you know, like this is this is get out basically.

Yeah. And then there's people man trying to tell me what to post or like what to wear.

And then there's people who are saying he's setting his boundaries and he's being clear about what he expects out of a relationship with a woman. But the problem is that how he slid into her DMS was hard eyes on one of the photos that he wanted her to take down, and it's like so you're all about this.

To get hooked on, to get hooked onto the rod. Now that you're on the rod, be reeled in.

Yeah. Sure.

My other issue with it, and by the way I think he comes across is very condescending. It just kind of a dick in these texts. But here's my other thought is why is this conversation happening via text? This is a face to face conversation you guys should be happy having because he's coming off awfully and maybe if it was in person, maybe he wouldn't. I don't know. Yeah, but it's a long discussion all on text. Just call each other or go to each other.

Yeah, work it out.

To me, it felt like he had a lot of insecurities and they were projected in these texts.

Doesn't It doesn't make it right.

But I also and then people are like, well, it's toxic that she posted these photos, and I'm like, sure, maybe.

It did in her bikini.

No, no, no, I'm sorry the photos of the text all right, And I'm like, sure, maybe it is, maybe, but it doesn't negate what he's.

Wonder what her intention of posting those was.

I don't know.

Actually, like, did you are you familiar with Keky Palmer story. It's similar. So like her friend basically like posted something tweeted like her outfit, saying like but you're a mom, though, like she shouldn't be wearing what she was wearing, and it turned into a whole thing, and she was wearing like a it's like a body sew with like a sheer dress over it. To me, it did not look very provocative. But I wear some weird stuff. So not

Yeah, I agree, I think it's having a conversation. I think if he was like, hey, I'm it makes me feel insecure when I see like these other men commenting on you, and maybe it's my own insecurity, Like I think there's a conversation around yeah, having a conversation about what you post. But I still I just have a hard time being like, I don't know. Yeah, the fact that he slid into her DMS on one of this photo and the photos and then turned it around on her feels yikes, yikes, We're.

Gonna take a break.

And yeah, yeah, there was something else that I wanted to mention.

All right, we'll ponder that on the bike.

Yeah, right, and we'll be back with emails.

By the way, everybody was messaging me about the pink dress and they're like, is that Becca's pink dress? I was like, yes, this is the one saved her for my final night.

I gave up, she gave up on the white saved her for the night.

No, but I found this was like before we left for vacation, I found my dear future husband journal and I read the entry from the first night that I went out with Robbie and it was very funny.

Fine, why didn't you bring it or take a photo to read it?

No?

So good.

It's kind of embarrassing. Like now, like I think about like Taylor Swift putting out songs in twenty ten. This was just from twenty nineteen, and it was like, oh, please please share. It was like, I'm so glad Sierra forced me to go out with this guy. He is so cute and it's like, so like, what is I fifteen years old? It was two years ago, three years ago. It's just like ah night and they dropped me off. He kissed me and I can't even explain to you what I felt in my vagina, Like it's so crazy.

I feel like.

That's what you'd write now. Yeah, track track.

I think you're reading it from like a youthful perspective, but.

I think that's how I wonder if Sierra is going to speak at our wedding.

Oh, I know she should.

You should ask her about that.

I know I wanted to, but she's like having a baby, so I didn't want to bother her with my dear future husband update. But uh yeah, it was so crazy.

Yeah, maybe you can bring that in and read something.

And I read a chapter when I met Mark Wahlberg in Hawaii, and I was like, I mean I wrote three pages about meeting him, Like wow, he really like struck a chord with me or like.

I remember I was drunk, taking like vodka shots or something, and y'all were just the rum and y'all were just having a deep heart and my eyes are glazed over and I'm like, m Yeah.

I wrote three pages in my Dear future Husband journal about that interaction.

We love Mark Wahlberg.

Yeah.

Shall we get into emails?

Yes? By the way, I want to thank the scrubbers. I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was a baseball fan because somebody had been a scrubber was dating a baseball player and she wanted some advice and I don't know who it was. I've gotten so many nice dms from people who are married to were dating baseball players. Whoa, and this one's in the minor league and this one pitched for the Pirates and my stepdad used to manage the Astros like it's a really it's great, wow.

Baseball community.

We have Facebook, you know subgroup who were dating an athlete or married to an athlete? Wo Lauren says Hi, Tanya and Becka and market Easton. I've been stuck in limbo with my boyfriend for four months and need help. I'm thirty, he's thirty four. Together a year and a half, most serious, longest relationship I've been in. We're ready to live together and I brought the topic up in marsh and he said he wasn't ready. Well, now it comes up a lot and knows leads to a big fight.

Now.

I've come up with so many ideas on how we can and we decorate together. We can get rid of everything and the guest room, it can be his office, et cetera. But he will not budge. We're in couple's therapy because this topic has led to so much tension. This is their only issue, and I'm at a loss. How do I make him comfortable with moving into my house?

This is tricky.

I don't really know, Like I almost feel like if he's not comfortable moving in and then y'all should just stay separate until you feel financially ready to buy a home together.

That's where I'm at, Sister, What what?

Why? Why can't he just move into her house?

He doesn't want to? Then he doesn't want to.

I just don't.

I mean, I think it's like if there's fighting and it leads to fights. I think if there, I don't know if it's like an ego thing of like he wants it.

To be his.

I think it's an ego thing, and I think he has some issues he needs to work through it.

Well, let me speak to you as someone with these issues that will not move into her boyfriend's home. Tonya the same, It is the same thing. You're there, you're there, you're there.

You're there, you have an empty apartment studio that you haven't seen in six months.

I'm saying it's an ego thing. It's not an ego thing, but it's like a it's like a promise I made to myself. Different.

I think it's a different thing. He didn't make a promise to himself.

I think it's that that's not in the email. You're assuming. You know what happens when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.

I just know how guys think, and this is not how he's thinking. He's not thinking. I made a promise to myself that I won't get my heart spoken by moving in too soon to somebody else's house.

Yeah, I think it's like he wants to he wants to feel like he owns or like it's not just her place, or like she could dispose of him if you know she wants, and then he's out on the street.

But I also think there.

May be is a conversation of like hey, or and maybe it has something to do with rent where he's like, I'm not going to pay half your mortgage if it's under your name, like because then it's just going towards you, it doesn't you know.

If she didn't mention that. But that's that's interesting. How they're going to divide that up is interesting.

Yeah, So if that's an issue, then maybe it can be like he contributes to the what are the utilities and groceries and stuff, or where he's pulling his weight and can make the house feel like his without feeling like he's putting money into your mortgage, because that might be it too, Like financially, it's not a smart decision for him, because he's not getting he's he's literally would be contributing to her home, yeah, without getting anything out

It's only about a year and a half. So I wonder if this is a sign that he's not as all in on this as she is.

I would just stay separate. I don't think it's a negative thing to not live together. I think our society really pushes, like move in together, merge your lives. But like I don't know that that's like a like a necessary thing to have a healthy, thriving relationship.

Perhaps not, but I do think that Tanya has been wasting thousands and thousands of dollars right down the toilet.

She's there and now the studio is not there. But I'm saying, it's so sisk.

Guy, and so is this guy.

A waste to you? Is not a waste to me. That's the thing. Like if this guy, if it's really important to him, he doesn't want to move into your home, he says he can't make it our place, then like that's his prerogative, and like he just he's gonna unders need time time, heals a lot of things.

True. I'm worried that he's not as all in on.

This issue is and maybe he's not.

Maybe he's I think is a great idea because I think this is an issue that feels like you should eventually come to a place where you can make it work. This doesn't feel like there's no chance you can make this work, because.

I do think there is, like there is a lot more to it, like Mark, like, it's not just yet, it's moving into somebody's house, it's making your own space. It's wanting to like maybe they want to like do all these makeovers. And he's like, I don't want to invest my money into this home when we're not married, you know what I mean. Like, there's a lot that goes into it. It's very complicated. And so because if.

They do break up and he's paying the mortgan, he's paying for the remodeling. Yeah, it's ugly.

It's ugly. So I'm kind of with him on this one, not with him, but like just give him time and don't try to force the issue.

I'm with you too, I'm navigating couples therapy. I don't think it's like a make Yeah, that's what I was thinking I've been trying, frantically searching the rolodex.

In my mind.

It's not making I think it's.

To make it break.

I think it's just figuring out a way that works for both of you, that you both feel comfortable with it.

It might be make or break in a few years. I don't think it's make or break right now.

No. Anonymous is hoping for some advice. She's been in a long distance relationship with her girlfriend for a year now. They met in college and were roommates senior year. Several intimate moments were had, but mostly after drunken nights, and we kept them very secret. Side notes she had a boyfriend the first three years of college. I had many random flings with various guys. After college, I moved to California.

Hailey and I had a few of these moments before we came out publicly, where we went to front like a friend's wedding, and it was kind of like people would one of them people came up to me because they recognized me from the Bachelor, and then I would be like, oh, this is my girlfriend, Haley, and I was.

Gonna remember that, but it wasn't even. It wasn't even at weddings. I feel like somebody came up to you, like at the beach one time.

Yeah, I mean that would happen all the time, but that was the one where it was like it was a lot of people.

Yeah, and it was a you know, industry event.

No, it was like a wedding for my friend. And it was like a Christian you know, it's like very Christian. And I was very nervous, and I told Haley before we went to the wedding, I was like, I'm feeling a little bit anxious, like this is the first time we're going somewhere where, like I don't really know a lot of people, and they will probably know me from Bachelor World, not Bachelor contestants, but like people who watch

Oh my gosh, what I had no idea.

I'm so happy for you guys, Like that's kind of the general reaction that most people will give. And know that you have each other and that you're there to celebrate love and your friend's relationship.

But I think it's just being upfront with.

Each other and talking about what you're comfortable with and communicating throughout the night so that one of you doesn't feel like hidden or that you're ashamed to be there with.

Each other, because you should be proud.

Like being able to be in love and go to an event celebrating love with the person you love is a really special thing and life is short. Don't feel like you don't get to celebrate because maybe it looks different.

Yeah, I'm with back on that one. Was pretty solid advice.

Great.

Well, I'm so sad. I feel like I have more stories to share.

But I guess you guys.

Threads.

Yeah, I've got two threads up.

I have one up. Good morning.

Original.

You really thought about you thought about that one? I think that's all for No, No, it's not all. Do we have a Thursday episode? That's right, we do.

That's so Raven.

We're talking to Raven Simone and her wife, Miranda Pureman and may Day and they are so fun and they have a new podcast coming out.

That's right.

So we will be chatting with them on Thursday's episode.

And we hope you have a wonderful week.

Happy that we're both back from I'm so happy that we're both back. I missed you.

I missed you too. Have a wonderful week. We love you.

By m