2-16-26 Scott Sloan Show

Do you want to be an American at the fog dead slash President's Dad? Good Marti Scott's loan back on seven hundred WWD to driving. Yeah, that FOG's no joke this morning. There's there's still a fog out there. Obviously, I don't think it's gonna burn off till like ten eleven, twelve o'clock today. For sure makes sense with the warm weather moving and all that snow and ice and rain, O the grap you know what the moisture is what's causing this? Obviously definitely two hands on the wheel and

Good morning. How are you?

Those are all seeing rapid increases as well as a matter of fact, today, in twenty twenty five, young adults are twice as likely to be diagnosed with colon cancer and four times more likely to be diagnosed with rectal cancer as those born in nineteen fifty. What the hell is driving this trend? And how do we fix it? Randy Drosick is the president of HC here in Kenwood. Doctor DROSSI, good morning.

How are you?

I'm fine, Thank you and thanks for having me.

Yeah, I appreciate it.

Weird paradox here, we're getting better at finding and treating cancer as much earlier than ever before. But why then are people developing cancers younger than ever before? Or is it because that we are discovering them at an early age because of that treatment? It's kind of like a self fulfilling prophecy here.

That's good. We don't really know why people are being diagnosed younger, but that we definitely have a trend in colon, breath, cervical and a few other cancers that we are seeing this it's being studied. We're concentrating. We've been concentrating for detection so long. This isn't something that we've we've been working at very long.

Yeah, Or are we just catching it earlier.

I guess it's the point, you know, the cancers that we wouldn't see develop and maybe slow moving cancers that would develop over the course of a few years, we're catching so much sooner now, and therefore it seems like, Okay, we are getting maybe we always had it, but is there evidence that that's the case.

That may be part of the case. The other thing is we are better at genetics, so we do scream, like you said. But the interesting thing the cancers that we see in these people who are under fifty tend to be much more aggressive than the cancers that we see and people who are over fifty.

Oh wow, oh paradox is that it is a paradox.

But as I looked at these numbers, what jumps off the page to me is there's like fourteen cancer types that were screened in the study that did. Eight of them are digestive based, right, So it's it's upper lower, GI, stomach, throat, esophagel, all that stuff. And does that tell you maybe it's nutrition, diet, that kind of thing.

I think you're absolutely correct. I think it's our seventh a lifestyle and you know, we have a lot of obesity in this country, smoking, heavy alcohol, use a lot of processed foods. I think all those contribute to GI cancers.

How much do you attribute this to the to the diet because smoking numbers have declined for a long time. But I look at that and go although I should say, before the diet thing, let's talk about smoking.

Vaping is a thing. Now do you think there's a tie there? And now there's no.

I don't know if there's any scientific data to back that up, but smoking vaping is there something there?

I think vaping is definitely not good for you, and I think you're you. Also, it's the nail on the head again that diet. Our diet in the US is just not very good. We're a fast food country.

Yeah, we still are, right despite an effort to try and need better. I know in my advanced stage that I am trying to do the best I can. Doesn't mean that I don't enjoy pizza or you know, burger and fries or something like that, but not not every day. And people hear that moderation, moderation, But physicians like yourself have been preaching that for a long time. Why do we tune that out?

I think Americans tend to work longer hours than other countries. When you look at the number of hours the American worker works compared to other countries, I think our free time is left and I think we try to cram as much into a day as we can.

I think that's an interesting analysis. I mean, if you've ever been overseas, for example, you go to Europe Italy, I've been to a few times, and it's just a whole different thing over the UK. Maybe pretty similar to us here, but you know, you go there, things shut down for a couple hours in the afternoon.

You want a cup of coffee.

If there's no drive through there, you got to sit down and enjoy your coffee, and you come back in a super chill and I think there's something to be said about that.

I definitely think we're working ourselves into bad health.

But we have for a long time.

Maybe the generations figured out because you hear about, wow, the work ethic of these young people. They just want to go on vacation, and maybe there's maybe they're going to live longer as a result of that as opposed to what we were doing.

Well, they may that's that's for sure. We tend not to exercise as much as other countries. I think that plays a huge role in it also.

And I think the older you get, the more sedentary you are too. But you know, we're talking about cancer and young people. What is it specifically about our diet Western diet? Is it the saturated fad? Is the processed nature of foods? As a physician, doctor do I said, can you finger? Can you point the finger at any one thing? Or is it all those things?

I think it's I think it's everything. I think high fat diet definitely plays into it. Processed foods play into it, high sugar content. You know, with we see processed foods and snacks, you're you're probably better off eating a carrot for a snack than the back of chips.

Yeah, but between me and you, the chips are so much better.

You know, particularly if you have French onion dip.

It's hard to argue with with.

Fresh onion dip and chips, I agree.

Yeah, But it can't be every day.

It has to be you know, I know people my age that are you're probably having a bag of chips a day, or a six pack of beer or twelve pack as the case may be. And I mean that's all well and good if you've don't plan on living long, But that's the unfortunate part of this thing. How much is alcohol use playing into this? Especially for people under the age of fifty are developing cancer.

Heavy alcohol use, particularly as the sophageal cancer and the savageal cancer. Alcohol and smoking together is a very lethal combination. So we definitely see that not only that. You know, you get cerasus delivery, you get centripletal obesity. All those things contribute to poor health. But the key is what you said earlier, moderation moderation.

Do you think that sleep deprivation, poor sleep quality factors into this too? And that you mentioned we're going and going and going all the time. Most of us are not getting as many hours as we need. Most I think the average American has lessened seven hours of sleep. Now is that a factor? Hear that your body doesn't have time to repair those hells?

Well, again, you're corrected. I don't know if it has as much effect with cancer, but it certainly does with our overall health, not just that, but our mental health and risk of Alzheimer's. You know, when our brain just needs to decompress, just like an athlete's body needs to decompressed.

It's like, because you know you work out, Let's say you lift weight, so we got to take a day off before you do anything else because you're sore and your muscles have to in order to grow your muscles, you have to rest. That's part of it. Another paradox here sounds like you're saying the same thing with this.

Absolutely yeah, your brain needs to be worked, your brain needs to be relaxed, and finding that balance is very difficult.

And we don't like that right the whole olm yoga right, take a calm time relaxation technique. I got an iPhone that nags me like a like a second wife about you know, stand up, sit down, do this, do that. It's like we just turned that stuff off and we just want to plow through it. And especially men, we just want to plow through that wall. We'll just keep going on we fall over.

Oh, I agree. I have a bad habit of that. Also, I did hot yoga for a year or two prior of the pandemic, and I can tell you you want to talk about something that will let your brain decompress. It's unbelievable and I'm sorry they haven't gone back to it.

Yeah, and I tried it actually before I back surgery years ago, and I just I can't do the yoga thing.

It's too much of me. I can't spend that much time with myself.

Doctor.

Well, I'm not a fan. I'm not a fan of me. I'll be honest with you. I got, like, you know what, enough of this stuff I got me and with my voices in my head by myself, it's a it's not a good combination.

I just I got to get away from me sometimes.

But you know, you have to stay active. I always tell people, once you sit, you stay seated. And I'm sixty four and I ran the pig this past year. Good and you just have to keep doing that. If you're I should say age properly about that.

Yeah, yeah, I uh, well you're a you're a freak then, because I'm thinking man running it that uh. And I'm younger than you are. Although I still box, I might have to give that up because I got you know, ostri arthritis, and everything hurts now. But I'll find something else to do, uh, in order to keep active. And it's good for your brain, it's good for your body. We're talking to doctor Randy Drusick this morning. He's an ecologist. He's also a president of OHC cancer specialists all all over.

How much of this?

You know?

I mentioned the diet element of this thing too, and then I started thinking about you know, I just mentioned when I had surgery and I had seed iff and it's a gut back.

You know.

We don't think about our back here and our gut until things go really, really south.

Is that also part of this too?

We're eating the processed foods and alcohol and smoking and lack of exercise, probably over prescribed antibiotics and stuff like that have a factor in your gut health.

How important is that? With cancer?

Sure, your gut has natural bacteria in it, and if we disrupt that mail you you can have all kinds of problems. You can have an infection called clustered and different. Still, there are certain types of astro intestinal cancers that we know are related to Helico factor, So yes, there are, and you can actually treat those cancers by treating the Helico factors. So bacteria certainly can play a role, and so conviruses.

Yeah, and so you're yeah, does HPV for women fit in this too?

Yes, yeah, it definitely does. They plays a very big role in cervical cancer and now we're seeing it in some aill cancers also.

Right right right, I think, and it all fits together that the the the bacteria in the gut, and it sounds kind of like new agy, but uh, you know, stuff like yogurt and kafir and anything like that that's a probiotic that you can consume is definitely gonna help help move the needle for you, especially if you maybe you are cutting corners when it comes to diet exercise.

I agree, and I think we don't know exactly why, but it may have to do with what we call transit time. If you have a bowel movement every day, all the bad stuff gets out of your gut. If there's someone that has an every five or six day or what we would a lot of people would consider constipation, you're more exposed to those toxins in your gut, and there's a question whether that may increase your risk of these GI cancers.

Is that metabolism though? Can you change that? But the way your body metabolizes.

I think you can with with high fiber diets. I think there's a lot of things you can do to increase increase your time.

More veggie and more exercise. And it makes stuff, uh, it makes stuff move three If that makes sense, I mean if it hangs around, it takes a chance to you know, essentially just sit there. And there's a reason why your body's getting rid of it. I guess that makes sense. You can take the garbage outlet's put that way. Why not be too too messy here? Yeah, And we're

How bad is it really?

From your perspective, it's devastating because the cancers are much worse. If you take a colon cancer and a forty year old for colon cancer and a seventy year old, the prognosis is much worse. The stage tends to be picked up a little bit later, you know, because we don't really screen for colon cancer unless you have a non genetic risk until you're forty five. So you take a thirty five year old, it's not expected. You're not screening.

It's just some more aggressive therefore harder to treat.

Absolutely.

Yeah, when it comes to cancers that you see, which is the I guess you know, we talk about lymphatic cancer, which my mom had, but there's you know, there's a host of ones that are like that. We just have the treatment for that. The ones that you're seeing that are just not survivable or we're not there yet as first treatment goes.

Or what I think the young, well, I think We've made headway in every cancer and I'm an optimist because I'm an oncologist, but I think if the ones that I see that I find to be devastating is our younger patients with colon cancer and one that's it's on the rise one to two percent per year, they don't respond quite as well, and to me, that is a very heartbreaking when you see it.

Yeah, we're seeing a rise in colorectal cancer, which is normally something you would see in middle age or beyond, and now we're seeing in patients, as you said, as young as forty and certainly under fifty.

Now that's yeah, that's exactly correct.

That's horrible.

I saw something else too recently, and it's called the birth cohort effect, in that each group of people born at a later time, let's say ten years apart, had a higher risk of delphing cancer and life. We're seeing that trend now that it should be going the other way, but it's the exact opposite.

Yeah, that's alarming. In our survival rates for some of these cancers, particularly like breast cancer, have gotten better, and I think some of that's due to early detection, but you do wonder whether this curve is going to slide back the other way now that we're seeing it in younger people.

Well, I mean prostate cancer for example. Right now we're not doing the you know, post COVID, not doing the exam anymore, thank god. And it's blood works, it's a fecal study, stuff like that. So I mean that technology is amazing.

Yes it is. And one thing is when you're brought about COVID. We have a thing here at OAC and we tried to preach this to the hospital. Cancer is not going to stop because there's a virus and a pandemic. Don't stop your screening, don't stop your mammograms, don't stop your colonostrophies, don't stop your your yearly cascans of the chest for smokers because there's a pandemic. Because this is going to catch up to us later when they're diagnosed. These patients are diagnosed at a later stage.

Yeah, No one likes to go and have that prostrate screening if you're a guy, or have your colonoscopy done to check. But you know, I've known people before that have said, man, I wish I would have because they're they're now gone and they died way too young because they never did that that work, and it's uncomfortable.

Who likes to go and.

And I'm sure it's not pleasant for the physician either, but it's something you have to go and do and it's it's not it's uncomfortable and no one likes to do it, but the end result is catastrophic because you're living, your family and a lot of life left.

Again, it's doctor Andy Drossick. He is the president.

He's an oncologist at o HC Cancer Specialists and Columbus and ken Wooden across the state as well. Doctor Drusik, thanks so much for taking time out and you're really busy, but appreciate the information this morning.

And thank you for having me.

Yeah, certainly the best awareness campaign we have for this are young people getting cancer and dying. And I don't think you'll mentally we put it together because James Vanderbeek I mentioned, just died at what forty eight, And there's a pretty consistent pattern of people under the age of fifty getting and dying from cancers because you don't expect.

We're good.

Well apparently not because whatever it is and somewhere in our environment and maybe also in our DNA, we don't know these things are coming together with catstrok results.

You know, when you see.

The cancer rates go up eighty percent over the last forty years, there's certainly something in the water and in the food and maybe within us as well. So you know, the best thing you can do is go get those screenings. At a time as we debate healthcare and I'm gonna look at Congress shutting down again and certainly not for health care, but you know, the one before this was that people are pinching pennies and going lo I really

They pay dividends. May I got the snow meltain.

You got the ground saturation, you get the warmer temperatures, and uh, you know when you get up to it's thirty six already, we're going up to what fifty five today roughly, and it's a nice day, and certainly it looks like we're not going to see freezing temperatures. I may save at night, obviously, but during the day for a long long time, hopefully not till next year or at least the fall. Anyway, Scott flowing here seven hundred ww on this President's Day, twenty twenty six, I don't know.

We don't know.

I mean that mile and a half away is pretty good, and it feels like, Wow, they're leaving no stone unturned. But now we're in our second week and Savannah Guthrie has released he had another video and that poor woman is just absolutely I feel so bad for her in the family obviously, I think we all do. But you just see the anguish on her face, like she seems like a real good person and that's everyone who's around

That's what it is.

And the people to monitor this stuff and they got to make a profit. That's where these subscription fees goes. It's out there in the ether. I'm a cloud somewhere and when you hear this, you go, wow, that may help catch the killer or you go, whoa on just a second, am I always under surveillance and the question

Your dog's missing.

You upload a couple of photos your dog, and the flock system, the proprietary software, is able to create a facial recognition thumbprint of the dog and go, hey, there's a okay, is it an Irish setter? Is it the Dashian? What do you got? A mutt with a curly tail, no tail, whatever it might be, And they are able to go, oh, it's a few blocks over we got to hit on this house up the street. That's where your dog might be. Go check that neighbor, Go check

Can you imagine?

What that was?

Was th in nineteen sixty nine, were like the astronauts

Was?

are on the moon and they've got a camera and they're showing you live shots of the moon.

That's crazy, and it used to be film.

Now.

The legendary Chick Poppy just passed away from Channel nine by the way, who uh literally one of the best photo journalists probably in the country, but happened to be here in Cincinnati, just passed away, I think at eighty two. And the stuff that he shot was remarkable. But that you know, he worked at a time too, even before videotape, where you you'd shoot the news and then you'd have to rush back to the station and have the film developed and you cross your fingers you got what you needed.

There's a guy behind him as.

His giant backpack on and that was the battery in the consolea They could, you know, have a live shot without a warrior, which was remarkable back then and it lasted for like four minutes because the battery technology wasn't good. You fast forward to today and we just take it for granted with cameras. You know, our TVs have cameras on them, or to what we're watching. Has a TV has a camera on it? Your computer monitor has a

I did that. You have a refrigerator that took to the internet.

A dishwak we have a dishwasher, can hook it up to the wife, why do I need my dishwasher and a Wi Fi for I will say that the washer dry with a Wi Fi. That's pretty cool because it tells you when your draws are done. Little thing will pop up, go, hey, your draws clean, and that reminds you, Oh, yeah, don't forget it because I'll turn stinky. You got to put them in the dry or dryer draws off. So yeah, your draw is done. There you go. That's pretty cool. Oh you left the garage door open. Oh, it's a

You can see what they have in there.

If you're really really good at this or no, someone is, if you wanted to infiltrate them, you can do that. You know, it tends to be the weakest passwords of the people who wind up being compromised, and especially in urban centers where there's a lot of I don't know, apartments or condos around and you could just pull it up and take a look at it as opposed to driving house to house. So but if you wanted to

Area out there. It seems like a black and white thing.

Like once you dip your toe, you're pretty much once you go, yeah, I want a camera monitoring my front door, and then you go, well, what about the back door? What about the side? Or what about my garage? What about It's just it's just a you know, modern society we all got. We're all going to have to make that choice at some point, I suppose, so if either word about security or surveillance, but you can't have both anyway. We've got to get a news update in. I've rambled

Well Dowdy Cincinnati, don't want.

To be an American idio Scott fluon show here.

This is seven hundred WLW.

Welcome to it. On this Monday morning, President's Day, twenty twenty six. I am not the only person in media that's working today. I just saw my dear friend Sheila Gray from Local twelve wrap up the morning show over there with her Zog and everyone else. Good morning, she she how are you dear?

Good morning, my king? How are you?

I'm well? My queen Tomorrow a martographer, homeless kids, twenty twenty six, Northern Kentucky Convention Center. Five point thirty, the VIP action begins, and then six thirty all the dominions file in and there's food, and there's drink, and there's revel where we have a good time. People throw bread. Sheila's up there with her infectious smile atop the giant rolling painters truck aka the float she got the painter's right, it's fantastic. It's a beautiful time.

They were in here last week and I said, who came up with that idea of this crazy float traveling around the inside of a convention center.

I think it was Gordy Snyder.

But it's the thirty five year that they've been doing this, more than three million dollars raised.

It's incredible. Yeah, you get a lot of laughs and then you do something good all at the same time.

Yeah, one of these days, you know, you thirty five years old. That's how old that that that the thing is they move us around on. Yeah, take a paint Every year. There's a couple more screws loose, kind of like the rest of us here, And I just wonder one of these that we just fall into the buffet table of we're just covered in ham and cheese and uh, I have ways. Yeah, they're probably why we drowned, drowned in the vat at cheese.

Uh.

Of course, the Joe Burrow Foundation in uh in Fort I'm sorry, Mercedes Ben's of Fort Mitchell, along with Jeff Ruby Foundation are our sponsor. We have three big sponsors this year, which means more money for the kids, which is wonderful.

I know, it's incredible.

And don't forget our friends at Jeff Wyler they are always really incredible too. But I'm so glad that we have these so many more backers behind us because we can do so many more things. We can provide so many more meals for Welcome House, Brighton Center and Bethany House Services because you know, the need is greater than it's been in a long time, with inflation and rising costs and things like that. Uh, people need a lot of help and we're able to provide it with this. It's really gratifying.

Yeah.

So this raises enough money to provide well over one hundred and fifty thousand meals a year to those three organizations. You mention your children to need and so they get a they get a solid meal once a day for an entire year, and and it always seems kind of like it seems weird that we're going to go eat and stuff ourselves for kids who don't enough to eat and drink, and but you know what, it works out, and the kids are the benefactors in the agencies there

Mine too, And I feel like I always see tons of my friends and neighbors there. You're always going to run into people you know and have a really good time. And DV eight is playing music this this year. The Silent Auction is already live if you wanted to go check that out and Marty grot nky dot org and check out some of the really cool stuff.

There's of course some.

Joe Burrow stuff in there, of course, begles and red gear and lots of really good bourbon baskets and things like that.

So that's the fun part of it too.

One of the big auctions from the Joe Burrow Foundation is the dinner, so they're gonna auction out dinner with Joe Burrow's parents that they are.

The nicest people. I didn't really like that no.

They I'm so glad that they're gonna be gonna be there and be part of this because they they are so nice. I feel like they're the the the people who keep Joe grounded, keep him like a normal guy.

You know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's there's sweet people and I I just heard that. I didn't know that was gonna be the big auction thing was dinner with them. I'm not sure if it's their house are going to take out the restaurant could be Skyline.

I don't know.

But the guy that I tell you there's one person in this town that you're gonna have a tough person out bidding because he's got serious, serious national broadcast money. That would be the afore mentioned Tom Brunneman. Tom Brenneman said, I'm gonna bid fast soon and often. I will outbid anyone in that room. And a chance to have dinner with the with the Boroughs, he will.

Don't you think they would just go out to dinner with Tommy.

No one really wants to hang out with tom. You gotta gotta pay, he said, I'm going to be He said, he's going to start the bidding. He's starting the bidding himself at ten thousand dollars.

How about that.

That's awesome.

Good for Tom.

You're really going to make You're really going to be there, and you're not going to stand me up this year like he did.

I got sick as a dog last year. I don't know what hit me, Sheila. You did not want to be around me. Believe me. I think it was but I get the flu shot. I don't know. As I recall, I was sick as a dog, and I was very sad to have to call and go, oh my god, I.

Can't make it.

I will be here this year. I know it's very sack.

It's very sad, but I will be unless maybe it's brewing inside me again right now. I don't know, Sheila, but I will come. Yeah. I don't care how sick I am. You know what if I projectile vomit on you, I'm sorry. I'll apologize. I had. Yeah, yeah, that's not that's not beads. He's thrown at the crowd. You you got to bring this down your outfit.

Do you have a special outfit?

No, because we have to wear the what is it the cape and the crown?

Yes?

Yeah, so you don't really.

Need it, but part of the time you're not wearing it. Have something?

What are you wearing? Did you go get an outfit? You go to Nordstrom?

I did not, but I found a cute purple top. Cute your purple Marty you off?

You know.

Yeah, I'm not going to be like Sarah Leice. She'll have a ball down the.

Oh my god, it's ridiculous.

That will always I always.

I just like have so she has like fashion goals, like that is the goal that women want.

To She Actually she has took today off just so she could. She started doing makeup this morning.

That's pretty funny.

It's pretty true that. It's very true, very very very very true. Actually, I'm wearing a wear it.

I'm wearing a T shirt with your face on it.

How's that? Oh that'd be cool.

I would love that. Sign it for you?

Will you a?

Sheila Grays here from Local twelve. She is my queen Marty Grat tomorrow for It's Homeless Kids northn Kentucky Convention Center, which is always a wonderful thing. I do believe we do have some tickets left. Marty Grot twenty twenty six dot org. If you happen to be in your Bethany House or Brighton Center or Welcome House or Mercedes Benz a Fort Mitchell. You can buy a ticket, a actual ticket there and come. It's like one hundred bucks VIPs a little bit more, but it starts at five thirty.

I don't think so.

Well, you don't. You don't stay past five, so that's a problem because you get up into a godly hour.

It's ridiculous.

It's a huge issue.

I miss a lot of entertaining things, going to bed as earliest.

I really somedays is free with your tickets. Oh yeah, parking is free. I mentioned DV one of my most besties on Melissa Reed, who's just a lovely person, lead singer, one of the most talented, gifted vocalists.

I think it's Cincinnati. I have seen them over the years many many times. That is that's a blast. They're absolutely great, what a great show that's going to be. You mentioned the free parking across the street as well. You can get the valet, the bougie valet with the VIP that's really really nice. And the nice part about it hill is by ten o'clock it's it's over and you go back and now you can take the next the day off and there's the Embassy Streets right across the street

It's an absolutely it's a great present, or you know, just an ash Wednesday present now I'm just kidding. Wow. But the other great thing about it is if you don't have like Marty Gras beads and things like that, tell them there. Yeah, so you're all taken care of. You just and you can even buy your ticket at the door. If you don't have time to get over to one of the spots that we're helping to buy your tickets, you can take them up here.

Yeah, which is nice. So there's also a million auction items there too, and you lose your mind with all the cool stuff that they have mentioned. The Robin Joe Burrow, the the Dinner with the Burrows. But also I think aren't they are they doing it again this year where they auction off and you will rub someone's feet? Is that what? Well, that's where like a foot massage, Shila Graham foot massage.

That is not I have not signed off on.

Why don't you put yourself out there a little bit?

Huh?

You should do something for the kids.

That would be the kind of thing that would be on that would be on the internet forever.

You'd never get rid of it.

She'll why would you say that? That's dumb? Sheillot doesn't their feet are gross? You? Yeah, she comes to your house and gives you a foot massage.

How's that?

No? Not, No, I'll do anything for the kids, but I'm not doing that.

All right. We will be in the uh so right next to the door.

You and I will be there. We do pictures in the in the King and Queen Garb too as well. And I think John John is our gesture, perfect gesture, because that guy love to get dressed up like a He dresses up like those He really does, doesn't he?

Yes, it's like a little.

Kid with that stuff. He's got spider man, he's aid the of course Elf. He starts dressing the Elf costume right after Thanksgiving. It doesn't He's still wearing it as a matter of fact. That's pretty tired. Now he's got a Gester outfit for tomorrow night.

What should be funny.

Yep, it will be funny. I hope it has tights.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he needs Steen's investors and maybe some new tights there.

Talk about the food really quick, the food and dress.

We had people in here from Governor's house the other day and they're making this short rib with mushroom of zoto that will just set you free.

You also have Kingcakes there, you have.

Oriental Walk will be there with Chinese food, and tomorrow's Lunar New Year, you'll have New Orleans style food. Just so many restaurants from both sides of the river come over there. And don't forget all the different bourbons and beers and wines, all kinds of spirits. It's really really fun.

Yeah, there's more than you can drink and eat there. So you know, they have little samples and you try it and you're like, well, I lot some more of that and don't fill up on the first station there's the there's the advice for you.

That's right, pace yourself, Pace.

Yourself, go around the room at least twice, and then it's kind of like going to taste the Cincinnati. You go around and you strategic go oh yeah that that that that, and then you go back and you hit them. You got to you absolutely have to scout. There's some advanced scouting going on.

I think there's fifty different restaurants and distilleries and things this year, or fifty five.

You mentioned it lunar. Yeah, I mean right. It's all the food and all the drink for one ticket. So I would say this is like the best Valentine's Day gift you can get because you're helping, you know, it's a good cause and that makes your heart happy. But also the food and drink, it's it's fantastic. And it's a Tuesday night and you can't get too crazy on a Tuesday night. It's perfect, right, yeah, absolutely perfect.

That's good.

You mentioned it's a lunar New Year. Is that is that Chinese New Year?

Yeah, it's Chinese New Year, and uh it's going to be the Year of the Horse, the Year of the Horse. Tomorrow night, I don't know how often Lunar New Year and Fat Tuesday.

Co inside like that. I think that's kind of cool neither.

But yeah, okay, so I gotta you gotta remember now it's still you're the horse, because Sheila, don't keep writing the year of the Cat on your checks. You got it. That's the worst part about the Lunar New Year's I keep writing, I keep putting here the snake on my check. I got to cross it out. It's terrible, It's absolutely terrible. I thought you on your chest, on my chest. You're still thinking about foot rubs. She she's foot rubs. She's

I'm sorry in advance.

It happened last year, and you weren't even there to take it and protect me.

A drill. Sheila got her nose broken. She she was off our for three weeks.

I know hopefully they'll have like a plastic surgery basket just the case.

Yeah right, exactly.

Yeah.

And the thing is I have nothing to do with So McConnell started this years ago where his his drunk buddies would show up at Marty Grot. Uh and and there's a there's a Clossman bread stand there and all they all they give you out is bread, just rolls, and I don't know if they have butter.

I think it's just dry bread.

And uh yeah, yeah, it's last year's and they tag it and go, here's some bread. And his buddies were like just started tossing bread at him, and then it became hurling bread. And now that I've been doing this where well we've been doing this for like style last ten years, it's the trend is continue where Mike will show up and throw bread at us. And we had Austin Almore and Tony Pike and we were getting absolutely raked over the a couple of years ago. Uh and

Coming at you at one time.

You didn't show up before school for the fight.

Uh yeah, I got a test today. Mom, I'm sick, but I'm sick going to school, so watch out for flying watch out for flying flying bread. So yeah, it'll be It's a fantastic time. And of course this benefits, this benefits of the homeless agencies in town, Brighton Center, Welcome House, Bething House for Kids. I want to can I take it serious for a second here and totally Martin grad late because I was thinking about this before

Guys, and TV have taken that over.

It's been that way for a long time, and so you guys open up your you know, you you come across as friendly and open, and people feel they know you. You see what happened with her? Does that concern you? Does that like something you now thought about after this happened?

You know what I thought about it before this happened, because I get concerned about people putting like every stage of their kids faces and lives online, you know.

And I'm not judging.

I mean, everybody can do what they want to do, but I'm kind of careful with like just what I post about my family and I you know, what Savannah got. I would hate for her to think that she's somehow responsible for this.

She's not bad.

People do bad things and she is in no way responsible for that. But I can totally understand why she would maybe want to take a step back from from this, you know, being in the spotlight, after after what she's been through, you know. And I'm hoping, against hope that they find her mom and she'll be all right and she can go and spend time with her mom and

I mean, you're talking about influencers and people.

You don't know what's gonna make somebody decide that they like the way you look or somebody in your family looks, and you can because anybody can be a target. Unfortunately, that's one of the dangers of social media and just how public everything is now.

I kind of get where she's coming from. She's like, well, I put my mom on. I kind of made her, you know, a mini celebrity. We had that they shot a something at her house, I guess in Tucson, and so some people can see the inside of her house and thinking that, well, you know, it's good for ratings, and it's also you know, it's that side of me and the personal interesting. And and now she's second guessing that whole thing, like she had something to do with this.

Oh my god.

It's just it's so heartbreaking because I wasn't. It's just like it could have happened to anyone.

It could have happened to anybody, and I every time I see her, my heart just goes out to her. You know, you can just tell that she's she's just tortured by this what no matter whoever had anything to do with it. Her mom is missing, and she's you know, I'm sure she's not sleeping, and I just can't. It just breaks my.

Heart, that's the whole thing.

But you can't, you can't look at her and not just be.

Heartbreaking hundred percent.

Anyway.

It's again, you know, you're not have no idea how people react to things, that's sure. Whether you're you know, you or Savannah Guthrie or me or someone on social media and influence whoever it might be, you just don't know anyway. So what time you get in there, Tom are like at what five thirty five twenty nine?

I'll be there in place, ready to go, with every hair in its place by five thirty.

Five thirty if anything, She's prompt well, And that also takes twenty minutes to figure. So we wear these capes with the with the helmets and everything, and it's always like a it's always this process puzzle. It really is. Every year. Every year she does like I just forum she puts her stuff on. I've got this cape I got to put on, and it's like there's these weird snaps on it. They haven't heard of Bell Crow. I'm the damn king. I should I should be able to be had someone beheaded?

Yeah, you should have like your own staff of people.

And it's just that always falls off I just because people step on it.

It's like it's a whole thing, really is. It's a whole fun. It's a whole The things we have to do with to help the children.

We wouldn't have it any other way.

We wouldn't.

It's always a it's a great event and I love the I love the cause too. It's the best part. So anyway, if you heard this you're interested in, Hey, last minute, let's do it. Northern Kentucky Convention Center Tomorrow starts at five thirty for the a VIP six thirty for general. It's like one hundred bucks Marty Grot twenty twenty six dot org. It's a virtual tickets, So go ahead. It's it's gonna help feed kids, and you have I guarantee you're gonna have a blast, bring some friends with you.

All right, Scott, You'll see you Tomorrow'll.

Take care as you goo My friend Shila Gray on the Scott Sloan Show This morning with news happening in about three minutes here, and then Mental Health Monday with Julie h that's next seven hundred WLW.

Everyone needs help every now and then, and she's here to help us get our heads right.

This is Mental Health Monday with mental health expert Julie Hattershire. It is pretty persistent when it comes to us as Americans, and that is the issue of rest in recovery because we were taught at an early age it's about productivity. It's about uh burn baby burn and burn the candle at both ends and it becomes addictive. Right, It's part of your DNA and that that productivity and that always on the go attitude really riaks havoc on our bodies

Talking about just chit chat exactly.

Idle, stupid chit chat. And people are tired of me babbling. So the core issue is higher achievers, right, and I think a lot of people see themselves as higher achievers, and that means you never get to rest. That means you never get to turn it off, and even when you allegedly turn it off, you don't turn it off.

A lot going on.

There, And you know, last week or the week before, we talked about cognitive reserve as being important for managing the effects of dementia.

And one of the things that I think we don't realize.

Is that mental energy is a finite resource that we have a limited amount of it in any given day, and we need to replenish and rejuvenate not just our physical energy, but our mental and our cognitive energy so that we don't burn ourselves out. And there are a lot.

Of reasons why this is.

Hard to do, and one of the biggest ones is that information and stimulation comes at us twenty four to seven. It's really hard to shut ourselves down and unplug from all of the stimulation and all the information that's coming at us. And when we think of ourselves as high achievers, are highly productive, and society rewards that, resting can feel self indulgent, it can feel like a waste of time. It can feel like we're being lazy if we are resting and other people are still kicking it.

And so one of.

The things that we need to do is understand there.

Are different types of rest that we need. There are seven actually that we've determined, and figure out what works for us in terms of how to get them, because what looks like rest to us might not look like rest to somebody else and vice versa.

Okay, so is there a difference between there's mental rest and physical rust? Are they one and the same.

No, they're different, Okay, and there and there are five other types as well. So physical rest is either it can either be passive or active. So it can be literally sleep, it can be lying around on the couch or sitting still and doing something. But it can also be active rest if you tend to be physically active, doing yoga or stretching, or taking a walk that's not a speed walk, that's more.

Of a stroll.

So active recovery down days can be really important, or downtimes during.

Your day can be really import No professional or.

Elite athlete goes one hundred percent every day. They have days where they hit it harder and they have days where they do restorative practices.

And they cross train.

So football players do yoga, dancers do strength training, people who run do strength training, and people who lift do active cardio, so they cross train to keep their bodies moving, but to activate different muscles and different nervous systems attributes. So that is one way of getting physical rest. It still feels productive, but you're not hitting at one hundred percent every day.

Mental rest, on the other hand.

Is different.

That's allowing your brain to do different things or nothing at all. So meditation is a form of mental rest.

What about folks who, certainly not me, can never turn their brains off. It's like a million things are coming at you all the time.

What is that?

Well, first of all, shutting down from the things coming at you can help. So another type of rest that we need, Remember I said there are seven. Another one is sensory rest, and that's disconnecting from your screens. That's disconnecting from external stimuli coming in. That's turning the TV off, turning your phone off, in your computer off, maybe lighting a candle or two, and just sitting with maybe a book, or sitting with a musical instrument that you play, or

Yeah.

Yeah, and making a conscious effort to disconnect from that, to disconnect from the sensory inputs, can help your brain learn to shut down on its own without having to do that, so you prime it to be able to quiet. Doesn't have to be as significant as meditation, but it can be taking a walk in a park without your headphones, without a phone, just enjoying nature around you and shutting out all of the other stimulation.

That's coming at you.

Yeah, I would just think about all the stuff I gotta do when I'm done with my walk. What about just a good old nap? What about just I pass out for twenty minutes? Is that fine? Is that good? Is that the same thing as meditation.

It's not the same thing as meditation, But naps are great. Twenty to thirty minutes is ideal. More than that, you start to get into a full sleep cycle, and that can be a problem. But twenty to thirty minute apps are ideal. I have a couch in my office and I regularly take twenty or thirty minute naps in between clients.

It's fabulous.

It's really good for your brain. It's a quick shutdown and a quick power up again. And if you keep.

It in that twenty to thirty minute range, you can typically.

Wake right back up and not be groggy. Anymore than that, you run the risk of being groggy because you're part way through a sleep cycle at that point.

At some point in my life, I'm going to treat it like ice, Like if you have an injury, you put ice on, you know, whatever the sore part is. Twenty minutes of every hour. I'm going to nap twenty minutes of every hour. See how that works out good for you?

And I want I want to see how I want to see how that works.

I can't imagine that every hour.

I'm digging twenty minutes resetting and I'll be really productive for the next forty minutes.

But maybe there's something there.

Julie Hatters Share, a licensed metal health therapist, on the show on seven hundred Wow Mental Health Monday, of course, and we're talking about resting is an important component here. We don't do enough of it. And I'm not talking about sleep, that's a different thing, but we're talking about just mental rest because we're at higher burnout, your ability, anxiety, all those things you mentioned.

There are two well seven core issues here mental rest versus physical rest.

What else is there, Well, there was sensory which we talked about reducing the inputs. There's social rest stepping away if you are a social butterfly, stepping away from social commitments, spending more time alone or one on one with someone that you really connect with, versus all of the social engagement which requires a lot of output of energy. We all need time when we are more isolated and more cocooned.

Some of us need more than others.

Introverts tend to need more than extroverts, but we all need some sort of social rest creativity, so taking a break from being productive and focusing on the output and spending time focusing on the process. So the purpose of creative rest is to focus on the process of.

What you're doing, not the product or the output.

So it doesn't matter whether you can play a song on the piano, but learning to play the piano is a kind of rest, because rest basically is an intentional disengagement from effort. So you are disengaging from one type of effort and engaging in a different type of effort intentionally, so creative rest is important for many people's. Spiritual rest is important if you have a spiritual practice, whether it's a religion, or you spend time in nature or you meditate.

Take me through what that looks like.

Okay, so, if you are a numbers person or and you sit at your desk all day, let's say, or you're an account or in actuary and you sit at your desk all day doing numbers work. A form of rest for you might be taking a long walk with your dog. A form of rest for you might be cooking a delicious meal. A form of rest for you might be reading a book instead of staring at numbers

Conversely, if you are a people person.

And you are out in the world a lot engaging with people, of form of for us might be something more solitary. It might be having a conversation one on one with one person, a deep conversation, not a whole lot of less deep conversations. It might be shutting down and reading a book. It might be taking a nap. That might be going for a walk. It's intentionally shifting so that you're cross training your brain. Like you cross train your body as an athlete, you're cross training your brain.

Okay, now that makes sense. You're just doing something like you mentioned music a couple times. I think that's I was reading something about Alzheimer's, Like if you learn to play an instrument, that's why we're just talking about this playing an instrument is wonderful for you because you're exercising part of your brain you probably haven't in years. If you're you know, something you pick up or just doing the act of doing that is generally most people their

It absolutely does.

Music is a language, and so if you learn to play an instry that you're learning a different language, or if you learn to produce music in some way, you're learning a different language. It very often requires physical dexterity. All almost all instruments require physical dexterity. If you're a singer,

Yeah, yeah, all right, makes sense. What does perfectionism play a role in this? I would imagine, just by what you're saying, if you tend to be a type are perfectionist by nature, that these burnout and challenges when it comes to mental health is really challenging.

For you because you feel like you always.

Have to be on, You always have to be on, you always have to be producing, and your product always has to be excellent to perfect, and so perfectionism often prevents people from trying new things and from taking breaks from what they're doing, and from growing and stretching and challenging themselves, because the goal is the product, not the process. The goal is the product has to be perfect, not the process needs to be fun or engaging or a

People who are perfectionists.

Tend not to take rest intentionally because that feels like quitting or giving up or being lazy.

Or unproductive, and.

They tend not to like to do new things when they're challenging themselves because they don't want to make mistakes. They don't want to be seen as being less than perfect by themselves or other people. And it's the product, not the process, that matters. So part of intentionally shifting your focus and taking arrest is focusing more on the process. What am I learning, what am I growing?

What is stretching in me?

Versus did I do that right?

Okay? But but for people and I maybe high pressure professional or a doctor or first responders things like that.

Yeah, what does?

The stakes are generally high and work and truly be urgent, But how do you help them navigate tension between legitimate work demands and need for rest because there's a balance there. I mean, if you're a Doeer doctor, for example, you can't How do you turn that off? Yeah?

It's really hard though. People in high.

Trendaline professions like that have a very difficult time turning it off. And one of the things when I'm working with them in my practice that I will tell them is that rest and self care are good ethics because you cannot make good decisions for your patients or the people you are rescuing, and you cannot operate at full capacity if you are tapped out, if you are burned out, if you're hungry, if you're tired, if you're angry, it's really hard to operate.

At full capacity.

So taking care of yourself is ethical and actually benefits the people that you are serving more than pushing yourself past your limit. I don't want an er doc working on me if I'm brought in with a heart attack, who has not eaten, not slept, not had a chance to go to the bathroom, not had a good solid drink of water, and who's been.

On shift for twelve hours.

I mean, if that's the only person available, fine, but I'd really rather have one who's been fed and hydrated and had some downtime and has is really fully on board and fully present, rather than someone who's running on fumes. So rest and so self care are ethics issues for people who are taking care of other people in high risk situations.

For me, like, if I schedule a workout or something that's non negotiable, that's like my time, and I've learned to do that over the years ago. No, I need some me time. Or whatever it might be doing. And I've been more forceful about that, and there's some people like, well, Okay, I guess I can give that up. But it sounds to me like you should be scheduling rest, like it should be on your schedule.

I think you should, and I think that some people are better at doing that than other people. So I will tell you I'm not great at it, but I will tell you that my sessions are fifty minutes, not a full hour, And in that ten minutes in between clients, I let my brain disengage from what I was thinking about what was going on in my room and start to think a little bit about what's coming next for me.

Fifty minutes just to take a break.

Some people don't. Yeah, some people don't have the ability to do that, which makes perfect sense. But if you're at work and you get a lunch break of any kind, take ten or fifteen minutes of that and do something different. Don't eat lunch at your desk, scrolling your email the whole time. Take ten or fifteen minutes of that and take a walk or close your eyes for a few minutes.

If you're in a place where you.

Can do that, or get outside, or have a conversation with a friend or a coworker, call your mom or dad, do something different, take a break from what you are doing. You can't hit at one hundred percent all the time. It's not healthy and it's not sustainable.

Julie hattersh here our license mental health therapist on the Scott's Loan show Every Monthing Mental Health Monday.

With Julie H.

So you can get a hold of her her handles heye Julie au l I e at B the letter B connected dot care, Hey Juliet B connected dot care as an email if you want to shoot her something and say hey, good job, or are calling you out on something, or maybe you've got an idea for a future topics. She's there for it and we talk every Monday morning and next Monday, no exception. Julie, have a great day.

Thanks again. I appreciate you so much.

Thank you. Talk to you later BYFYE.

News is on the way in just about five minutes. Your full update as a fog burns off looking at the decent day and warm too warm, Warm Warm, Scott's slown down seven hundred WW reminder, iHeartMedia and the Big One. Salute Cincinnati's own Procter and gamble. If you've got someone there you'd like for us to recognize on the air, just text us their name to five to one, eight eight one and be listening. Do you want to be an American idiot?

Pull me back on seven hundred wl W on this President's Day and coming off of the vapor trail of love, vapor trail of love?

What the hell are you talking about? What are you?

I still my love at bit Valentine's Day?

Boy?

If you cock this one up, be coming at your heart today. Today is the day where post Valentine's Day see breakups and of course the divorce train. A lot of divorces happening in the next couple of weeks because you cocked ub Valentine's Day. I do that kind of it. I often don't do just straight up book authors, but

This is brilliant.

Well, thank you, Scott. It's a pleasure to be on the big One this morning. Cincinnati is one of my favorite cities. Pleasure to speak with you.

Thank you appreciate it. Where are you from now? Where you live now?

Well, I live in the other Queen city, Charlotte, North Carolina.

Oh okay, beautiful area of the country. We hopefully will be able to travel again soon and exchange. But so in this area, this is interesting. So you're like slitting your own throat, aren't you, Scott.

The truth of the matter is, lawyers are sworn to help their clients' best interests, and we really are. I give credit to even my imposing lawyers for that. But the best interest of many of these clients, in fact, is to work on saving their marriage. And I'm not I don't try to lead them, I try to follow them. But when you think about it, in a divorce, there's a possibility that only one of the people wants to divorce, and the other one might be the one coming to

All right, So what do you typically see number one cause for divorce? Is it infidelity or money?

Money is the biggest problem for young couples, but infidelity and addiction are the two big problems that I see lightelong in marriages, and addiction gets to be a larger problem as people get older.

And probably that are right, So money when you're younger, infidelity probably in your middle aged years, and then addiction in the later stages of the marriage, Am I right?

Yes?

Yes? In generalities, yeah.

Okay, you can almost break it up in age groups.

Then in that case, well, it's shocking to me. What a I'm not against people having a drink of alcohol, but the scourge of alcoholism is more widespread than the average person might imagine unless they're living it and.

They're yeah, I have friends that fall into that category of the divorce because a spouse got into that or other things.

And yeah, I totally could see that.

We tend to older, We get, we get, I mean to guess, Well, let's start at the beginning here. Let's let's rewind, David, we got so, you got some time, I got some time here. You don't charge by the you don't charge by the minute. Do you You know one of those.

Attorneys of the first call is always.

All right, it's contingency.

I like that, So so counselor we'll start with you. You know, okay, So you're married, in your twenties, your thirties, you're just starting out. You've got college loans maybe or maybe just you know, you're working jobs, multiple jobs, you never see each other. Money's tight, You're going to break up over money? Why why would you split up over money? Why would you go in separate directions?

Is it?

Or is it because one spouse has different spending habits in the other.

Well, by the way, I don't know that you ask what the biggest problem is. Money is the biggest challenge, and ideally they overcome that challenge. But yes, indeed, when people are single, when I was single, when you were single, when any of your listeners are single, they can live their life and spend their money the way they want.

And I think that's an important thing is you typically would see a couple come together and maybe let's say she has her sense about her financially in getting a relationship with a guy who maybe has some past debt, bad credit, that sort of thing. What do you recommend when you're first getting together, you get engaged if it's and that's probably typical. Right, one is a good saver and maybe has a good monetary fiscal policy, and another one not so much.

What do you recommend a couple like that?

Well, number one, you're exactly right. You'd be surprised how much of undisclosed debt comes into early marriages. But the answer, of course is communication, and the answer is truthfulness. And a marriage is off to a bad start if the couple has not been able to communicate openly with each other about who the a are. A longer engagement might be a good idea. Getting to know this person in all dimensions is always a good idea.

So let's say, if it's your kid, your son, or your daughter, they're engaged, background checked, how do you find out about the real find because that happens right you all of a sudden, Hey we're married. Oh, by the way, I didn't tell you. I've had three bankruptcies nowadays.

By the way, I have two grown daughters. They're both very happily married and have done wonderfully in their choice of spouses. But nowadays I hear many parents of that that would be the would be grandparents, the parents of a daughter or son getting married, paying for their own private investigative report to find out about the person that their son or daughter is marrying. Yes, I'm seeing that a lot these days.

Very interesting. Yeah, But you know, I mean there's another thing too.

Now, Graham and Grepp are going to pull a you know, hire a p I or somebody to follow his kid or around. And then you find out something that may be a little on savory. How do you present that to your kid without reckoning a relations because that looks like you're trying to split them up. And now you're gonna put you're gonna put your relationship with your kids in jeopardy.

Oh, you're exactly right. And uh. And parents have to trust their adult children to make good decisions. But parents should always feel that they have license to give advice. And there you know, there was an old soul song that said, take time to know her. I don't remember who sang that one, but take time to know him, take time to know her. I'm not a big advocate for the private investigator, and I'm very much not a

Yeah, well, how about this, If you've got the means, hire an investigator for him, hire an investigator for her, and then just have an exchange notes, I got nothing to hide, and then that takes this thing off it right.

Well, well there's a problem there. The problem is that that introduces i'll call it a poison in the relationship. It's the it's the it's it's both. It's both. It's both encouraging of trust because you say, okay, I know all about you, but it's also infecting the relationship with suspicion and mistrust. And and I like to say in the book, you know, my book's called Secrets of a

If it comes.

Well, here's the thing she asked her. He asked to trust depending on where your kid is. But guess what, I'm the father. I don't trust.

Anybody, and many and many fathers do not.

And that's my job. My job is to not trust anybody.

Well, and and and that's right. But I say, if you have a son or a daughter, let's say.

You have a daughter, I don't trust them either.

All right, Well, then then then don't marry them.

Advice.

But the persons who are getting married must trust each other, because, as I says in the book, after a year of marriage, a person should closer to their spouse, and their spouse should know them better than their parents would, than their siblings do, than their best friends do, because they know everything about the person after a year.

Gotcha, all right? So who better than a divorcelader advised people to stay married. David Edmud's an attorney. He wrote The Secrets of a Divorce loader all the stuff he sees. You put the book and said, well, if you read this, then everything you need to know about having a happy marriage is standing together is right here. It's brilliant, actually,

People. I saw a note just this past week of somebody turning forty and how how cataclysmic it was to this individual to be turning forty. It was a woman, and it makes people every decade at least makes people look at their lives and say, am I on track for where I want to be? I look at it differently when they come into my office. I look at it and say, well, let's just let's make sure we

Percent problem with.

Yeah, but that's also part of it. Right, grass is greener, and you also get like, man, what happened to my life? I used to be carefree and young, and I'm settling. I'm settling. Right?

Is that the biggest thing for.

Men and women when they act unfaithful. Is that it's it's like they're trying to get control their life back.

Let me think about that. In my book, I write what I have learned as a as a secret of a divorce lawyer, and that is this generalization applies about fifty percent of the time. And that is, if a female is having an extra matter affair, fifty percent of the time it will be with her supervisor, her boss. With a man, there is no such correlation. You would

Yeah, psychologically, Yeah, how do I get the psychological elemnus because I don't want to. So we've gone from money to the infidel in the middle aged thing and then the interesting one to me what you said. What you're saying in the Secrets of a Divorce Lawyer, David Erdman is for older people. And what age group we're talking here when it comes to addiction is being the number one cause of divorce among older couples.

Here's here's what happens in my book. That's in the book, and it's called The Ten Commandments of Marriage. I talk about the role of addiction and I look at it as a fork in the road. Let me let me go back just a little bit of life history. When you go up through your twenties, chances are you're a heavy consumer of alcohol. But between age thirty and forty, that's when you start having children and you better get control of alcohol or alcohol is going to control you.

Wow. And uh, it's part of that too though.

I Mean, you get older, you get you know, aches and pains, and you start maybe on a prescription thing and maybe you self medicate to with alcohol. You got time, you got money, you start doing that kind of stuff. You're you're also an empty nester, right, how much does that affect a breakup of a marriage? Because you know, for years and years, especially today, you know suburbanites, you know young parents, it's all about the kids, the kids, the kids, and sports and music and this and that.

Uh, Scott. I definitely address that in the book. If the couple has not made their marriage the core of their existence together and instead have made the children the core of it, or perhaps their career the core of it, then they really don't have a central focus any longer in their marriage, and and things tend to spend apart. One of my commandments is to live a marriage centered life. That sounds difficult, but the truth matter is if the marriage is at the center of your life, where is it.

David Herdman, all the best to you, thanks again for coming on the show.

Thank you brother.

A nice uplifting topic for a couple of days past out since day. If you really screwed up Valandide's day, you may need the book and the advice of sound legal counsel because the next month or so, a couple of weeks at least, attorneys start to see a huge up to the number divorce.

I mean, think about it.

You made it through of cold winter monthster together, you realize how much you hate each other, and then you suffer through the holidays and maybe made it to Valentine's Day. Of course it's more of a I guess, probably more of a couple thing, not you know, maybe you're engaged or have been dating a while, or dating the breakups

Brewster.

This first update from spring training heard here on seven hundred WLW.

Hey, it's Sloane. Remember your kid.

You go to class and classes starting to fall here, and you make some new friends and probably keep maybe one a couple of those things through the next year, and you make different frame your friend circle expands and you move away. Maybe you go to school, right, you make more friends there and now with Facebook and everything now on Facebook is even old school right, you've talked about Twitter and Instagram and TikTok and all that you can keep tabs on your friends you haven't seen in

It's easy when your kid. Why is it so hard winning an adult? Marissa?

So when we're kids, we have what Rebecca g Adams of Sociologists calls the ingredients that allow friendships happen organically, which are continuous, unplanned interaction and shared vulnerability. So we see people every day and we let our guard down, lunch reset in. But as adults, we don't have the same infrastructure, so we can't assume that friendships happened organically in the same way.

Yeah, but you see people at work, people come and go, stuff like that people you work next to in you know, cubicle or the drill press next to you, or on the job, whatever it is. It seems like there's it just seems like there's more opportunities when you're alt because you know, you have the one thing you don't when you're kid, and that's ability to travel yourself.

Right.

You can get in a car, go for a walk wherever you want to go. You make more contacts a day than the typical kid does.

Yeah, that's a great point. A study actually found though, that the more time we spent together at work, the less closely feel. And I think that's because for a lot of us in the workplace, that sense of vulnerability, the unguarded net that was part of the ingredients for connection isn't necessarily there. We share just a certain side of us. We don't share the full dimensions of who we are, and so we might feel like I know you as an employee, but I don't necessarily know you as a person.

We have an interesting phenomenon here in Cincinnati, Ohio, doctor, in that we have the East side on the West side here, and there's a noticeable difference between the two west Siders tend to be people who grew up in the same and I'm stereotyping here, but grew up in the same neighborhood, when's the same high school, you know, lifelong friends kind of like America used to be a couple generations ago, generation or two ago, and it's kind

Yeah, that is a really interesting phenomenon. And I like how you put it, like similar to generations path because it's true people used to live in the same neighborhoods and areas their whole life, and that really facilitated connection. Because one study found that the more you move, the more dispose mold. Basically, your relationships become so people that have the same area that haven't continuous interactions really have

Certainly, you know you have.

Your same social circle. Maybe people come and go, but generally not making as many friends as you did when you were younger and lifelong friends at that People retire and move and then all of a sudden they're back to being kids again, making all brand new friends.

Yeah. Yeah, And that is actually one of the things that predicts how satisfied we are in our retirement, whether we replace the social network we might have gotten from working every day. I mean, I think when we're in retirement, right, people in general and times of transition tend to be more open to friendship. So that's retiring, moving to a new city, you know, going through a breakup or divor traveling for example. And it gives us a lot more time.

How do you do this then?

I mean, you know, if you're going, Okay, this sounds good, I'm I'm going to go and I'm going to try and to expand my friend base right now, how do you go out and find that?

Yeah, So, as I talked about it platonics, you have to initiate. Friendships doesn't really happen organically. As adults, people that think friendship happens based on luck are lonelier over time, whereas those that think it happens based on effort are less lonely. Now, people are very afraid of rejections. The truth is, according to the research, people are less likely to reject you than you think. When strangers interact and predict how how much they think the other person likes them,

We'll have to talk again later and go through the whole friend zone thing too, because we're just talking about you generally a friend relationships, platonic relationships. Name of the book is platonic, but it's a whole thing when you start, you know, mixing romantic interests in here in your you know, there's friend zone and everything else. Maybe there's a I don't know, maybe there's a follow up to this, Doctor Mersa Franco, thanks again for the time.

Appreciate it, no problem, my pleasure.

Thanks again. And I just I just thought of this as I hung up. And I think it's because too, when you're younger, you don't have the demands on your time as much as you do when your adult. Right, you've got everything pulling at you all the time. It feels like the older you get, the last time you have, and there's so many demands for your time. You like to and sit down and talk to someone and get to know them, but do you really have that time

You got a lot going on.

This is seven hundred WW and news in about twelve minutes here on the show and the big stories today. Looks like crime over the first couple months of the new year here in Cincinnati has gone up forty percent, which is insane considering how cold it's been since literally the first.

Of the year.

You've got to work really really hard to get those crime numbers where they are with the weather the way it's been. We'll try to make sense of that, probably something on tomorrow's show on that. We also have the guy in uh whereas a Georgia who gave his son a gun went on a shooting spree and mass murder

Go ice is what he said.

He has worked for a decade and a half building his career in in an area in Gary where there is a predominant Hispanic population. Therefore, the he has a disproportion number kids in his classes that a Hispanic.

And so he said, go ice.

And of course, you know, someone caught that and then shared it, and then they shared it and it went viral, and yeah, it's an area where the local police.

Said they would cooperate with ice.

So he recently put up a Facebook post that I've spent fourteen years building my career, pouring my heart into teaching kids, building relationships and building a positive role as opposive role model. To see it up ended over two simple words, go Ice, where I expressed my personal support for law enforcement felt like a severe blow to my career. And now, of course, if you're anti ICE, you think

Might have been all law, but who knows. And I think it's interesting.

You know, we talk about cancel culture and it's more kind of past cancel culture, and it still comes up. We had what happened with, you know, the campus canceled culture over the last several years that seems to be fading. We had what happened with that Joe Rogan and Spotify where boycotted over his perceived anti vaccine stance, and the guy from The Bachelor a few years ago cost him.

I don't know if it is or not. We'll find out.

And and you're seeing I think as a result of this, the percentage of Americans identifying is moderate is now hit a record low about a third of the country. Doesn't mean independent voters, that's a whole different thing, but people who consider themselves moderates, and the cultural right now demands public attention for cancelation. Previously it was the left with me too and Black Lives Matter and all these things,

Anyway, we jump in with

News and more to follow with Willie at twelve six today here on the hull of the Red seven hundred WW Cincinnati,