How to Make Your School Feel Less Toxic (No Admin Approval Needed)

I want to talk about it in this week's episode of the School for School Counselors podcast . Hey , if this is your first time tuning in , thanks so much for joining me . I'm Steph Johnson , a full-time school counselor , just like you , on a mission to make school counseling more sustainable and more enjoyable .

I want you to look forward to walking through the doors of that school building every morning , to look forward to seeing your students' faces , saying hello to your colleagues and even smelling the fish sticks in the air . I want you to love it all , and I'm here to do my best to help you get there . Like I said y'all , school can feel heavy .

Just this last week on my campus , we were inundated with illness , as I know many of you were as well . We had an office staff of seven reduced to two people . I was one of them , and those were a couple of crazy days . We had staff emergencies in the midst of all the illness we had goings on with students . It was just a lot .

And some days are like that crisis after crisis . Some days seem to be moment to moment nonstop intervention and pretty soon you look up , it's dismissal and your lunch is still sitting in the microwave .

When the stress starts to pile up , it is so easy to begin feeling defeated , to believe that nothing's ever going to change , nothing's getting better and no one on your campus notices what you're doing . Well , my friend , this week is Random Acts of Kindness Week , and I know what you're thinking .

As soon as the words hit your ears , you probably thought fantastic stuff , one more school-wide initiative that I have to plan or that people are going to roll their eyes at .

But before you completely dismiss it , I want to talk about why kindness isn't just about feeling good , and how kindness can actually be a research-backed strategy for shifting your school climate , protecting your mental health and making your school counseling job feel more fulfilling . And the best part about all of that is that it takes almost no effort at all .

Y'all , kindness works . It's not just a fluff , it's chemical . When you give kindness or when you receive it , your brain releases oxytocin . That's that bonding hormone that causes us to feel connected , and it also releases dopamine , that feel-good hormone that we're always searching for .

When these hormones are released , it lowers cortisol , which you know is our stress hormone , and that's going to help reduce anxiety and also reduce depression . And it's why something as simple as a compliment in passing in the hallway can instantly shift your mood . And it's also why small positive interactions in your school building matter .

Positive interactions in your school building matter . It's like when you're having a really bad day or a super busy , overwhelming day and you're flying down the hallway and along the way , somebody randomly compliments you . It changes your mood almost instantly , doesn't it ? I know it does mine .

So imagine what happens when this is happening consistently in the school setting , not only for the grown-ups , but for the kids too . Studies show that when people witness an act of kindness , they are significantly more likely to pay it forward .

So when our kids are watching us model kindness in the hallways , in the front office , they're going to seek to emulate that , because they're watching and learning and absorbing the things that we do every second . We also know that schools that have more positive interactions see fewer behavioral issues and higher emotional resilience among their students .

That's what we're all aiming for , isn't it ? And this concept also works in reverse A toxic school culture can spread like wildfire if negativity is the dominant energy man . Ask me how I know that .

I once worked on one of the most toxic school campuses that I think has ever existed on the planet , and it was draining , it was demoralizing , and I found that negativity seeping into every aspect of my life , so that it wasn't only affecting me when I was at work , but I was carrying that home , I was carrying it to my family and to my children , and it

just was not a good place to be . You may be working in an environment like that right now and you know exactly what I mean when I'm talking about how toxicity spreads . So let's focus on the kindness aspect , even if we are in a dysfunctional school environment . Let's focus on how can we bring even a little smidge of kindness into our worlds .

One thing that we don't often talk about with regard to kindness is how it can buffer burnout for school counselors , because we spent all day helping to solve other people's problems . But when we engage in these small positive interactions of kindness , it counteracts our stress , and engaging in pro-social behavior , like helping others , like .

Distributing kindness is directly linked to lower burnout rates and also increased job satisfaction . So , my friend , kindness isn't just something nice to do . It's not something that we do on Random Acts of Kindness Week , that's trendy and then we forget about it the rest of the time .

What we really need to be doing is looking at kindness as a strategy to up-level our school climate , to improve our mental health and to sustain us professionally . Now I've talked quite a bit about how kindness can affect the grown-ups , and I've talked a little bit about how kindness can affect us as a whole on a school campus .

Let's talk specifically about how our acts of kindness can help our students . First , acts of kindness increase sense of belonging . We know we have kids walking through the doors every morning at our schools who do not hear positive words at home . Their entire home experience is filled with shouting , accusations or burns .

So when they walk through the doors and they encounter a kind word or a small act even if they act like it does not affect them at all we know it can have a huge impact on their self-esteem and also convince them to engage more in their schoolwork .

Research also tells us that kindness can boost peer connection and reduce loneliness , boost peer connection and reduce loneliness . Especially when we're talking about marginalized students , this is super important . We want all of our students to feel connected and like they belong and kindness is a mighty tool to get us in that corner .

Kindness also helps improve classroom behavior because kids who feel seen and who feel valued are less likely to act out . And those students who are watching us be kind to our co-workers and colleagues on campus . When they begin to regularly engage in those kinds of kindness acts , they develop stronger emotional regulation skills .

So they're not going to be as impulsive , we're not going to have as many disciplinary incidents with them because they're learning how to regulate themselves . And third , kindness just creates a more positive school climate overall . Third , kindness just creates a more positive school climate

overall . If negativity is the dominant energy in your building , the kids are going to mirror that . But if we can engage in small positive interactions , we can use those to shift the emotional tone of the entire school the emotional tone of the entire school and on the grown-up side of things . I mentioned this briefly before .

But kindness can be a burnout hat for school counselors . You know you can't control the decisions that your administrators make . You can't control the mandates that come down from your district office , you can't even control when the fire drills are going to happen . But you can control everything .

Small moments of kindness and on tough days , if you can walk away knowing that you made a small positive impact on someone else at your school , it can offset the stress of the entire rest of your day . Even better , it reconnects you to your why ?

Because we know school counseling is about people , it's not about paperwork , and when we perform acts of kindness we are bringing those people back into focus . I will tell you I had a student on my campus once who was really difficult to work with . He was one of the kids that the teachers wanted to send to the office on a daily basis .

He was loud , he was defiant to his teachers , he was constantly talking back , refusing to complete work and his teachers were exhausted . To complete work , and his teachers were exhausted . All the kids in his class avoided him like the plague and most of the time he seemed to be seeking negative attention .

This kiddo genuinely thought no one liked him because he didn't have really any friends in class . He didn't have any positive relationships with adults at his school and so he had no motivation to change anything . It was like it was easier to be bad than to be ignored , right ? And so we started working on an undercover kindness challenge .

We started working on an undercover kindness challenge . I gave him a small kindness challenge every day that he had to complete . It was just finding someone in the school to give a compliment to , didn't matter who it was , didn't matter what the compliment was about , but he had to give one genuine compliment every day . We worked on it for a week .

We talked about what changes were happening . He really didn't notice anything different , but we kept going and after a while , after a few weeks , he noticed people started acting differently toward him . People started acting differently toward him . His teacher said you know , he still has trouble focusing , but he's not yelling and accusing people all the time anymore .

It was pretty cool to watch this kiddo's self-perception start to shift and starting to feel like he was building some connections with his classmates , that he could ask for help and not get laughed at . That he didn't have to lash out to get attention . He didn't become a model student . I wish I could say that . That would make me sound amazing .

Right , he didn't become a model student . He still struggled with academics , but he started to see himself as a part of his classroom community and as part of our school community , and for me , that was a win . And it all came out of one small act of kindness every day . Small act of kindness every day .

Day two and Park 2019 explored the relationship between students' perception of school kindness and their academic engagement , and they found that when students perceived higher levels of kindness in their school , they reported greater engagement in academics . So as we're rolling into Random Acts of Kindness Week , let's keep this in perspective .

Some folks have planned big awareness weeks and I think that's wonderful , but a lot of us didn't have the bandwidth for that this year , did we ? Education is a mess right now . There are so many unknowns and uncertainties .

We're coming off of National School Counseling Week , which often gives us all a lot of mixed emotions , and so some of us just didn't have the capacity to do anything big for Random Acts of Kindness Week , and I get it because I'm one of those people . That's why I'm using the word we .

But we can still utilize this week to not only our benefit , but to the benefit of our schools and our students . Schools are stressful places . Some days you feel like you are just dancing inside of a dumpster fire , right , but kindness gives us small moments in our days that matter .

Remember that a kind word that you give to a student might be the only encouragement they hear all day , that a simple thank you that you offer to a teacher in the hallway could be the one thing that convinces them not to walk out the door and never come back , or even y'all . A quick note to yourself Reminding you that you accomplished something great .

That day might be what helps you push through some of the burnout you're feeling . And the best part about all of this is that you don't need permission , you don't need funding , you don't need a meeting with your administrator to start changing the energy in your school . You just have to decide that kindness is going to be part of your daily game plan .

Now I know , I know you are kind each and every day . I get it . But when you demonstrate kindness with more intentionality rather than just as the moments present themselves , you are intentionally walking through the doors with the goal of spreading kindness

. The game changes a little bit , and I want to help you do that this week . Every day , during Random Acts of Kindness Week , I'm going to post a quick , simple kindness challenge on our Facebook page . These are going to be things that you can do immediately , with no prep , that will actually make a difference for other people at your school .

So , as we wrap up this episode , make sure that you've gone to our School for School Counselors Facebook page . Make sure that you hit , follow and join in on all the kindness fun this week .

Stay consistent with it , set a phone alarm so you don't forget to check it out every day , and let's just see what happens this week , because sometimes the little things you do are actually the things that change everything . I'll be back soon with another episode of the School for School Counselors podcast .

In the meantime , keep practicing those random acts of kindness and I'll see you again very soon . Take care .