Jennifer Walter (00:00:00) - Meet Mary Alvizures from Share Your Magic, an intuitive brand strategist and website designer for social entrepreneurs. When it comes to being online, you want to be seen as the light leader you are. That's where Mary comes in, designing solo line brands and websites that make you a lot of dollars. Born and raised in sunny California, she now resides in Austin, Texas. When she's not designing and supporting others in sharing their magic. You can find her on an adventure unplugged or dancing it out in your own bubble of joy. Mary, welcome to the Scenic Route podcast. How are you today? Thank you so much for having me. Jennifer, I'm doing good. I'm excited to be here. Yes, me too. This is going to be a great conversation because we do the same thing. Yeah, we both work in branding, so this is going to be really cool. I'm excited. Yeah. So, Mary, people already know you, and we're both in branding, but can you briefly walk us through your story, like how you started and how you got where you are today? What were the pivotal crossroads and the big moments in your journey? Of course? Well, it's funny because I have always wanted to be an entrepreneur since I was little, when I was like, you know, sometimes people play house like pretend House used to be like pretend business.
Mary Alvizures (00:01:14) - Oh, yeah, like office business or like shop. Yeah, like office business. Like, I had offices in, like, different businesses. It was really funny when I was little, and so it was always in me, and throughout my 20s, you know, I experimented with different things. I had a jewellery line; I did some photography Every time I was at a family party. I had a new business. I was I for years. I felt like the joke of the family because I was like, oh, I'm going to see my cousins. And they're, but they're not related. So you're not like you gained a new business idea at family meetings, but you're okay. Yeah. Like every time you would come up with new ideas, whether you're at a family meeting and. No, no, no, no. Every time I saw my family, like, you know, a big reunion, like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something they really. What are you doing? Well, yeah, I started a business.
Jennifer Walter (00:02:07) - So you get, like, the role. Like, okay, Barry's at it again. Again? What are you doing now? I've dabbled in so many things, but that question never gets old, right? Like, I mean, yeah, that's like. I know my parents kind of stopped asking what I do because they're like, I try to explain it, and they're like, Yeah, well, we're like, Well, the branding part is not so difficult, but like the coaching part gets a bit more tricky. And now they're like, Yeah, that podcast, like, well, I just talked to people well, and I told him it's kind of like a radio host and that's what they're so they're getting that. So that makes total sense. My parents don't even know they have a podcast. Yeah, like, I don't know, they don't listen to it. But like also because English is not their native language, but like, I don't know, she doesn't know, don't have depression.
Jennifer Walter (00:02:57) - Any of those topics would resonate with my parents. But that's that's a, that's a that's another episode. Yeah, definitely. So I was dabbling in all these different businesses and finally remembered my best friend, and we were like, okay, we don't want to work corporate, and we want to be business owners. Like, let's do something like really cool, Like let's really get serious and do something. So she and I started off as event planners, and it was really, really fun, but also very stressful. And they say when you're an entrepreneur, you have to, like, love it like 100%. And I was like 98% there. And I was like, There's that 2% that's missing, and it's killing me because I can't get through these hurdles that are coming up or, you know, these moments like, I love it, but like I'm like, oh, you know, at any time I can like, quit or like I felt like I wanted to. And I was like, that's not fair to her.
Jennifer Walter (00:03:52) - And so I ended up leaving that business, and she continued, And we're still friends. And it was it was such a heartbreaking moment at the time, but it all worked out so well. And she's thriving in her business. She's an amazing event planner. And so I kind of branched off on my own. The part that I liked about about event planning was like the creativity part, the design part that I do now. Yeah. And I told myself, okay. I was like, Well, maybe I'll start like freelance graphic designing. And I was like, I can work with event planners like several of them. But then, yeah, that didn't really go that way. I eventually just got into web design and branding and fell in love with it, and I was like 100% in it. And I was like, okay, this is right, this feels good. And so I'm really grateful to say, Yeah, I'm over six years in business now, so congratulations. That's amazing. Yeah, Thank you.
Jennifer Walter (00:04:50) - The first three years were really hard. Well, you know, can you even call yourself an entrepreneur? If the first two years in business haven't been a shit show? Like. Yeah. Can you like? No, sorry. That's kind of like a badge of honour. You got to earn. Like, you got to go to the. To, like the valley of despair within the first two years. Otherwise, it's like, Yeah, yeah, totally. Get that, though. Was it just always like the knowing that with event business, something was off and like you couldn't contain the energy that was needed or like the stamina, or how did it show up? Yeah, you know, like, I loved a lot of it, but there were parts where, like, it can also be really stressful. We had really high-end clientele, so there's a lot of money involved. There's a lot of negotiating. And it just wasn't. It didn't feel right for me. I was like, uh, like I'd be in these stressful situations, and I'd be like, I don't want to be in this.
Jennifer Walter (00:05:46) - Like, can I just go back to, like, choosing the colours of the party? Yeah, I know the fun, the fun parts. And she was really good at that. But yeah, at the end of the day, it's like, you know, we had these ideas, and I just, again, something fell off, and I'm really glad I honored that. And I was like, you know, we're best friends. This could go either really well or, you know, this breakup. Yeah, yeah, break us up in the future. But I think I got off at the wrong the right time, got off that train. And like I said, we both did our separate businesses. We grew our businesses together, and we're still best friends to this day. So it's really awesome. It worked out perfectly. That's amazing. Yeah, because right, as you said, like it could have gone either way or at least in your mind, you're probably overplaying the She's going to hate me forever part.
Jennifer Walter (00:06:37) - Oh, yeah, it was right. Like I was heartbroken, and I was like I was heartbroken for myself. I was heartbroken for her. I was like, how do I break this up without, like, losing our friendship? But and how did you how did you move through with that big step in the end? Like, what was kind of like the, I don't know, the final feeling or push or whatever, that we were like, okay, yeah. So I went to go pick her up that day and was like, Hey, let's go. I was going to her house, and I would always go to her house, and I would always come in, and I was like, No, I'm not going to come in. I was like, Come out. And she was like, Where are we going? And I was like, Let's just go for a drive. Oh, that one. There's never something good coming after so far. That's like, that's. She didn't even know. She was like, okay.
Jennifer Walter (00:07:29) - I was like, Let's go pick a food or something. So we end up at a restaurant but in the parking lot. And then I just kind of tell her, and I was just like, You know what? I still want to be there for you. So, if you need support, I'm here for you. But like, I'm not in this, and I don't want to be a part of this, but I still want to, you know, have our friendship and stuff, and I'm just crying the whole time. And then she's crying. Oh, no. Pourcel: Oh, yeah. But she was like, okay, okay, I get it. She's like, okay, thanks for letting me know. And yeah, you know, I slowly let that go. Like I was just every time doing less and less and less until I kind of just did my own thing. And then it was just like, okay, I'm too busy. I can't actually design for you anymore. And so, you know, she grew her own team and, you know, got her other people to help.
Jennifer Walter (00:08:16) - So yeah, it all worked out. But yeah, it was a really hard conversation because I make hard conversations, as is everybody. Yeah, like I do, for sure. But I always blame my Enneagram seven for this, so. Yeah, yeah. But I'm glad. As I said, I honoured myself, and I got through that, and she was really, you know, understanding. And that's really beautiful too. And we've been like, you know, growing our business. It's like, you know, a business is like having a baby, right? I don't have children yet, but, you know, a lot of people compare it to that, and I'm like, it's like we raise our children together. Yeah. And it can only, like, account for the first two years of having a child and like, it is a shit show to like, no idea what the fuck you're doing. So, yeah, so my partner and I, we, we coined a term like good enough parenting, like, which is, like, good enough.
Jennifer Walter (00:09:16) - And like, that's, that's so true for business too, I feel. Especially when you're starting out, right? Like you, you kind of, like, have these ideas of all the bells and whistles and shit and. And it's all what you. The only thing you need is to just like the good enough to get going. Exactly. I am a recovering perfectionist, and her being a perfectionist and a designer is hard. Oh, I know. Luckily, since I have worked in design for Jesus for more than 20 years now, I recovered a long time ago, and I'm like, Nope, no one's going to notice if you're going to change that spacing. Jen, No one cares. So, just like, whatever, exactly. It's good enough. And I don't know how I got there, but I did. And I'm so grateful because, yeah, I'm like, You know what? Am I obsessing over? Like the little spacing. Exactly. And I'm like, I'm going to send this to a client. They're not going to notice.
Jennifer Walter (00:10:12) - Or maybe they'll be like, Hey, Mary, can we move it to the left? And I'm over here trying to perfectly centre this. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I know what cured me, though. In my case, I had this really bad, like, luxury packaging, like a luxury cosmetic brand client. And they redid the reprinted their like, packaging. And we were literally like at the printers, and they're like, oh, it needs to have one percentage more magenta here and one like percentage yellow less there. And we were like colour correcting while they were kind of like printing. And it was like, so that was like, no, okay, no, no. Could someone get me out of here? So ,was that bad? But mean, yeah, not that mean there's something to say for quality, but there's also because you can overdo it. Like what? Tell me, what was the biggest? Like we said before, the first three years were kind of like the volley had some valley of despair moments.
Jennifer Walter (00:11:11) - What was the biggest thing you fucked up during those first years? I would say trying to. So, in my first three years, I took every course. Yeah, like Under the sun on how to grow a business, how to get clients had another like a rite of passage you have to go to if yeah I joined coaching programs and everything and I think my biggest fuck up or I mean I'm okay that I went through it, but I'm like oh if I could do it again, I would do it differently. Yeah, it's trying to find validation for myself and others, I think, is what it was like. Ooh, yeah. If I had just looked within or done the inner work at an earlier stage, I wouldn't have gone through the shit show or like all the like. I hit some low points and thought because I would like to sign up for a, you know, a course and I wouldn't complete it. I wouldn't like to get the results that other girls were getting, or other business owners were getting.
Jennifer Walter (00:12:19) - And I would be hard on myself for it. I'm like, What? Like, I tried the same thing. How come I didn't get ten, like, you know, 100 times? Ten or whatever that looked like or like, Man, everyone had a really good webinar. Like, my webinar was, like, not that great. And I would be like, It was hard. It was like being in school again, and you know, you just didn't do good. Yeah, yeah. You're getting weird quizzes and tests by online coach gurus and coaches and gurus and stuff, and I did learn some really valuable things. But the thing is, it's like I later on doing, like, inner work and, like, learning about myself. I'm like, I'm not even supposed to be on webinars. That's not my thing. And I'm over here like, you know, I'm being really hard on myself for, like, you know, messing up a webinar. So, you know, just things like that. I'm like, Oh man, if I was, I would have learned about myself a little earlier or, you know, done a little bit more inner work and like healed some wounds that I had, you know, from like childhood and things, you know, of not feeling worthy enough, not feeling good enough or like, you know, all that perfection.
Jennifer Walter (00:13:30) - Those are how do like, how did those, like, childhood wounds show up in your business? Oh, man, it was over-giving. I was always over-giving to clients. Lack of boundaries. Yes. Lack of boundaries. I'm just trying to people-please my clients. I have some really, really amazing clients. I want to say out of 100, like I've had, I don't know, like maybe three bad ones, but like, they're amazing. I love them, but at the same time, I'm like, I'm not going to go down memory lane, but I'm like, you know, there are times where I was just like, Oh, we're giving over giving. And, you know, just trying to be likeable and, you know, just wanted to grow my business and like just doing everything I can to make it successful when in reality it's like I had to do like inner work and heal some things and, you know, go a different route. It wasn't about, you know, learning the next, the latest marketing strategy, like how to do Facebook ads or how to do Instagram ads or like how to do webinars or how to grow my mailing list.
Jennifer Walter (00:14:31) - It wasn't any of that. I'm not saying none of that works, no works. It does. Like, I mean, those are tactics, right? Like they do, they have their place, but we don't know. I sometimes feel like we so often because it's so easy to focus on apparent lack of skill that we kind of like always put that to the forefront while, well, we don't want to deal with like the nasty stuff, right? Like mean. Yeah, I'd rather learn about Facebook ads than heal my childhood once today, right? Like, literally, you become obsessed with, like, ah, people say my email list when in reality, we should be lucky. Some of us. I speak for myself, you know. Well, that's the group, right? Like there is no blueprint or whatever. It's just I don't know. We're speaking for ourselves. We're telling our stories and what was true. And I'd say for a lot of us, the way forward is the way inward, right? Like, yeah, you gotta figure some shit out first.
Jennifer Walter (00:15:33) - And Jesus, if I'd known before I started my entrepreneurial journey in 2017 like that, it would be so much shit I'd had to deal with. I don't know. I am probably an entrepreneur because I don't know. I was it was always a really bad employee or bad relative terms, so I don't know. I wasn't quite prepared to deal with so much shit like, I don't know, another childhood trauma. Yay! Whoa. Which one are we dealing with today? Ooh, I know. Yeah. I never. So in the beginning, I had, like, don't want to call it. I guess it was trust issues. I'll just give it that label like I had a hard time like trusting to bring on a team, you know, like to. I had tried out two virtual assistants. One was, like, not as available as I thought she would be. So I was like, okay, this is gonna work out. And then another one didn't really do so well. Like in a moment that I really needed her, I'm like, Wait, how did you mess that up? Like, we went over it.
Jennifer Walter (00:16:37) - But anyway, but I realized that's something that, you know, somebody in like the first grade, like, you know, she was my friend at the time, but she, like, messed me over. And then I have these trust issues later in my business Like the childhood stuff came up. And I didn't realize that until, like, you know, I was deep in a healing session. And I'm like, Are you serious? That moment in the first grade, that girl that, like, stole my stickers, that's why I can't do this. Fuck her. And I'm like, just gonna let you go. Literally. No. I was like, Wow. I didn't realize that's how it shows up for you later. Well, for me, yeah. Yeah, it's. Yeah, right. And it's what makes it so interesting. And that's why we also need support in untangling this, right? Because, like, it's we sometimes don't know. Consciously, what is connected, right? Like, we just have a hunch, maybe.
Jennifer Walter (00:17:31) - Yeah. And we're just like, Oh, wait a minute. Yeah, that's interesting. That's. That's a huge thing, right? Like when you're, when you're starting out, especially when you're a solopreneur, and then suddenly you're at a point where, like, okay, I gotta bring on people, right? Like, whether that's in a freelance role or like a role, whatever, mean trust is the same thing. It doesn't really change with the label. You stick to it. But yeah, I don't know. I really had to let it resonate so deeply with me. Like I've really had to ask myself, okay, am I just having really high expectations of the role I'm looking to fill, or is it my trust, or is it something else like trust issues or whatever, or perfection, perfectionism on my part or like for me, it wasn't really trust issues per se, but it was like due to my childhood trauma, I had kind of like this and I still have it to some degree, like the notion of I have to get this done by myself.
Jennifer Walter (00:18:31) - Oh yeah, absolutely. I cannot more a sense of rely on anybody else to get me out of there. I have to get it done myself. ThatInterestingly enough, while we're talking about old connections and things that I could trace that back to, like my very first experience, like I went into Nic when I was born, and I kind of had that. But I have to get out of here because there is no one here, and I have to get out of this box, and it's just me. I have to get myself out of it. I have to get better. Wow. Yeah. You were a baby. You were a newborn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like a couple of hours old and. Yeah, yellow fever and, like, water in my lungs and stuff. So, like, I mean, it wasn't for so long, but I don't know, That was kind of like the whole thing of I have to get this done by myself. And it was really hard to untangle because, like, I was like, What is it like? I have worked with teams before.
Jennifer Walter (00:19:26) - I don't know. Right? It's it's really interesting to untangle. And I don't want to say, like, yeah, interesting is probably the right word. It's not really pleasant, but it's, it's healing for sure. I think, you know, getting the awareness of what, you know, maybe holding us back is huge. And there are people out there, you know, that are willing to help others get through that. So, seeking support is not like I was very much like, I'm going to do this journey alone. I'm a solopreneur. I used to hang that flag so high and proud and be like, Ha, I just get to do everything by myself, obviously in the world. But what really is like it takes a village, you know, like I have coaches, I have mentors, I have I have a team now, I have some amazing assistants that I trust, and they're so awesome. Yeah, Yeah, true. Yeah. Like I couldn't get here alone. It takes a village, you know, there's that meme or that quote that goes around online.
Jennifer Walter (00:20:29) - Like we have the same hours as Beyonce in a day. And I'm like, Yeah, she has a village. People. Yeah, she has like a whole fucking city rally. Yeah, I really hate this Pinterest. It's really like, Yeah, but no, you can bend time as much as you want, and you can tomato the shit out of the tomato method, but you're still. No. Yeah. And so for me, in the beginning, it was really hard to ask for help. It was really hard to be like, Wait, I can do this alone. I, you know, that's just how I am. I love being kind of like a hermit sometimes or, you know. But no, I realized I couldn't if I was going to do it all alone; I was never going to get anywhere. And that was like my first three years, like, you know, fighting that, like, I don't need help. I could do this. Yeah. Self-teaching myself.
Jennifer Walter (00:21:25) - This I'm just gonna go buy it and then finally surrendering to like, no, I can be helped, you know, then like get that one-on-one support and things like that. That's when things started to change for me. So. Wow. Yeah, right. It's I remember when, when I was in corporate, like I swore like, okay, never want to have like a team. I never have freelancers or employees because just the whole admin side of things like it was a bug. It was like, No, Jesus, dear, please, no, that was really holding me back like that fought in the first three years. So it really was holding me back because I was like, No, I don't want to, like, don't want to. People work for me. It's too stressful. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was able to switch it to like, Hey, how cool is it that I that with my business I get to like pay others and they're sustaining their business and their lives and their families.
Jennifer Walter (00:22:21) - Like, how cool is that? That is so cool. That's really cool. Exactly. But it was not just like, Oh yeah, it's really cool. It was quite a journey to get there, right? Like, it's, I don't know, corporate. I don't know. Well, we all have our own different ways, ways in which we're kind of messed up. But it's cool. You're fine. We're good. As long as you keep taking steps forward, that's all that matters. Yeah, right. Like steps forward. Like, how do you measure steps forward for you personally? How do you define success in your business, and how do you measure it? A success in my business. So it looks different for everybody, right? For some people, I mean, yeah, it's nice to have money. I love that. I welcome it, for I'm doing all the money-welcoming manifestations there are. I like money. No problem with that. Love money. Welcome.
Jennifer Walter (00:23:14) - Thank you, universe. For me, really successful. It's like having inner peace and being happy because there were times in my business when I wasn't happy or just times in my life when I wasn't happy, you know? But I see it, and I hear it as well, you know, like people with millions of billions of dollars, and they're unhappy. And I'm like, you know, I don't live in a 12-bedroom house, you know, but my my house is perfect for me. Yeah, but like, yeah, that's the thing, right? It's you also kind of like, have to figure out what you're truly in it for, right? Like, Yeah. Why did you get your skin in the game? Yeah, right. And mean, I don't know. I know. If we had a bigger place, we would have even more shit we don't need, and then, I don't know, that would even overwhelm me even more. And then we would. I don't know. It's just like, oh, I don't know.
Jennifer Walter (00:24:06) - I can admire, like, the big houses and the villas with the pools and whatever. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I don't know. It's not my definition; it is more like, Oh, cool. The suitcase is packed in ten minutes. We're ready to go in 15. Yeah, exactly like that. Freedom or that. Like, um, you know, like, there are times in my business, and they still do it. Or like, I would like, you know, be like, Oh, when I hit this goal, like, I'm going to buy that really expensive thing I've been eyeing for a while and I would do it. I would hit the goal, and I buy the expensive thing, and I'd be so excited like, Oh my God, oh my God, that's not cool. And then a week later, I'm like, I'm not wearing the shoes anymore. They're just sitting in my closet. I got the handbag, but, like, I haven't even learned his house. Yeah. I mean, you know, I'm sitting in my closet, and I'm like, I just want to feel fulfilled.
Jennifer Walter (00:25:01) - And, you know, for me, being able to be like, Hey, you know what? I'm going to sign off and go take a nap right now because my brain is on overload. That's success for me; napping is always a success, even more so. Marry. Believe me, when you have kids, you die for a nap. Like, I would sell all the shit I own for good to know. Well, I will indulge in my naps. Yes, like celebrate your naps. Like, I don't know, like they're the best fucking thing in the world. Because they are. Yeah. No. So for me, success is really like, you know, freedom, inner peace, feeling fulfilled with the little things because I've gotten the big things, and yeah, like you say, right, if I had more bad news, we'd have more shit. Yeah. And mean. And it's not to say right. Like, I also have nice bags. I just, I don't know. I just feel like if you desire something, there should be no shame in spending something.
Jennifer Walter (00:26:01) - You want it, right? Like, I just make sure that they align with what I stand for. So whenever I buy, whenever I feel like, Oh, this is really like a fancy shit bag I admire, I set a promise to myself that I'm like all these, like, really expensive designer things. I only buy second-hand because I don't know; there's just too much shit produced anyway. We can buy so much in good quality second hand, and we just try to shop more sustainably. So I'm like whenever I want to like and then it's kind of like fun because you go on the hunt. For that specific item, you desire. It's not just available to put into a card, but you probably don't know. You have to maybe go to eBay or to a couple of sites and kind of like, Ooh, where can I get it? I don't know. So that's always kind of like my paying our approach it. No, I love that. That's amazing. I think for me, a lot of times, it's like, am I getting this because I really want this, or am I getting this because everybody else has it and I think I need it? That's been huge for me.
Jennifer Walter (00:27:12) - And that's like another thing. I don't know where I saw it floating. Like, are you because, you know, on Instagram, right, we're constantly being shown things like, and it's like, do you want this like truly in your soul, or you want this because everybody has it? Like, are you just trying to keep up with everybody? And so for me, I'm just like, I don't want to keep up with anybody except for myself. Yes. And the Instagram does make it hard. I mean, I have to admit, not with all the things, but there are certain things where I'm like an easily influenced Instagram shopper, maybe like, Oh, for sure. Like, it's so bad. I don't know. Then, especially if once you start, you stared at something for a millisecond too long, the algorithm is going to push it into your feet aggressively. It's the worst. Like that is literally like. It's also like, why do I want it? And sometimes, like, especially, tell me if that resonates.
Jennifer Walter (00:28:11) - But it took me also a lot of healing from this. Like I remember in corporate, I would buy things for a certain persona I thought I would be. Like, Oh, these are the shoes. If I have like a fancy corner office and C-level meeting shit, right? And like, even I don't know, it was just like, Yeah, no, it totally resonates. I have to be really like, now that I'm aware of it, I'm really conscious about it. The other day, I had a photo shoot, and I had gone to the store and got all these really cool outfits that were, like, great. I was like the day of my photo shoot, I'll see what I keep and then return what I ended up with all these blazers that I would never wear in my life. And I'm like, Well, what am I putting on blazers? Because everybody else has it on their website. Yeah, yeah. But it's so true. Like, sometimes when I do reruns for clients, I mean, I don't do the shoes per se, but sometimes I would work on a mood board and they would come to me and be like, Oh, what should I wear? And, like every so often, they would come with that outfit.
Jennifer Walter (00:29:16) - I'm like, This is a cool outfit. But, like, how? Like, I have literally never seen you in a blazer or in a white blouse or in heels. The entire, like last past six weeks, we've been working together. So, like, are you sure this is like. I don't know. Does it fit? Does it really fit the movie? Understand? Yeah. No, unfortunately, it was. It was a really quick photo shoot. It was just like a mini shoot because I wanted to test the photographer. I was like, Let's see how it works. Yeah, sure. And yeah, like my first outfit, like, no, doesn't resonate. I wore that white blazer that I'll never wear in my life again. And the day was just like, What am I doing? Like, who am I trying to be? And I remember being on Pinterest probably for a few weeks and just, you know, like searching like entrepreneur branding photoshoot, and everyone had a blazer, and that's like, what a merry-go by.
Jennifer Walter (00:30:18) - Beautiful blazers. Yeah. Don't do any of that. My last photoshoot because we did it. I wore a beautiful kimono. Oh, I don't like things that like, I like, resonate with me. I like things I love. And I was like, you know, And it's all my past photo shoots. I'd always worn jean jackets and because I wanted to be like business but like, casual, like, it makes sense now because that's just how I am. I've always been that way. Yeah. And but I was trying to be, you know, level up, and I'm like, I am not buying a blazer. Oh, God, yeah. Like, tell me, like, tell me if I'm wrong. But I feel especially for, like, branding people and designers, there is like, I don't know, a special. Pressure to kind of like this is how designers dress. You know, back when I was working in ad agencies like all the cool designers that were all dressed in black, you know and had and were reading like these weird design magazines and like, and I'm like.
Jennifer Walter (00:31:24) - I mean, like your style. See what you're doing. I just look really shit in black, so. No, thank you. Right. Or when you look at like online coaching and like, I don't know when you look at the women or how they portray themselves, you can tell who's like a life coach. Yeah, like the striped t-shirt, like the weird hat. It's kind of like you have to have a hat on a branding photoshoot if you're a life coach. Otherwise, sorry, No pass. Yeah. Like, who made these rules? I'm not here to follow them anymore. Yeah. Yeah. But right at the same time, people are like, oh, okay. I don't know. It's always so interesting, right? But at the same time, right, Like you still look at the white Blazer brand photography and be like, Ooh, maybe I don't know if I level up enough. This is how I will be. That's a keyword. If, like, you know, it's, you have to just don't know.
Jennifer Walter (00:32:25) - What am I trying to do with this? You just haven't seen me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But. Right. Like you have to be. Really? And that's. I think I feel it's so dangerous when you start out; you have to be really sure of who you are. Otherwise, it's so easy to get seduced. Like, as I said, there are a million coaches and a million courses and a gazillion freebies, and there's nothing wrong with that per se. But you so easily get influenced by doing things like you said, like the webinar thing where you're like, Actually, I hate fucking doing webinars. Why am I doing webinars? Yeah, you know, it's like you said, seduce, right? Like it's so easy to get seduced. You see the 100 Caymans or the ten. Yeah. Or the hundred $50 in three months or whatever, which I welcome $1 million whenever it wants to come to my door. But yeah. No, I was chasing that for so long, and it was just all it was doing was actually making me feel less because I couldn't reach those goals.
Jennifer Walter (00:33:32) - And I'm like, okay, like I said, I welcome $1 million, but like, I'm not going to kill myself. Right? Yeah, that's the thing, right? Like, I know we could all do the 10-K. I always call them the ten K, ten-day people. Like, Yeah, sure, we could all do ten, probably. We could all do ten K in ten days. But are we like really, are we willing to like, are we really willing to? I would probably be on the second day, I probably would be like, Nah, we'll power is gone. Okay. By now. It's so like, what do you feel like we've talked about, like the seducing of the online world, especially when you're starting out? Like, what do you feel is kind of like the biggest lie or like half-truth that gets peddled around in the online business world that's spilt a t? My friend spilt a T where this is fine, I think. Yeah. Like, the ten k and ten days really drives me nuts because I'm like, what? It is possible.
Jennifer Walter (00:34:26) - Totally. But to like the people that do accomplish that one, they may have a team behind them. Yeah, they might have years of experience above, you know, the person that's just starting. Yeah. Um, they might be on a completely different level of, like, inner knowing confidence and all those things, you know, and or also in a very different season of life, right? Like, exactly, Yeah. Like, don't go to someone's fifth year. They're not caretakers. They don't know they have an abled body. They're able-bodied. Like, I don't know, you just, you don't know, right? Yeah. I remember I was in a program, and I was really excited to be in this program because I really admired these two coaches that teamed up. Yeah. And I was like, This is so awesome. I'm going to do their program. I'm going to get to where they're at. And it was like a month, maybe like an eight-week mastermind or something. It was, it was pretty, yeah, cool.
Jennifer Walter (00:35:22) - And like I said, I did the program. I met some really amazing people at everything. But, like, I didn't complete, I didn't get the results that I thought I was going to get. And so, at the time, I was like, okay, another failed program type of thing, right? I was like, Oh, whatever. Made some cool connections. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. What happened? Yeah. Then, a few years later, I saw one of their posts on Instagram, like share, like the things that got me to where I am today. And she mentioned, like, all these different healing modalities, and I'm like, Girlfriend, When I was masturbating with you, you didn't talk about any of that. It was all strategy. Do this, do that, Show up here, show up there. I have had a similar experience. Oh, holy crap. Yeah. And I'm like, You never mentioned going to therapy. You never mentioned doing this. Like, Yeah, I Finally learned that one on my own after.
Jennifer Walter (00:36:15) - Yeah. Thank you for being different from me, too. Yeah. I really wish you would have shared that, you know, back then because of me with mine. Our failed results. My like, oh, I didn't make, you know, 20 K like they said I was going to. So yeah. And that's the same thing, right? Like it's such a slippery slope, I sometimes feel, right like when either, like you're, like when you're not getting the results, and you approach these people. I once had a client who approached one of those bigger online social media people who said, Hey, I did everything to the T. I don't have the results. Like, I don't know what's going like. I'm not. I know you don't promise, but I'm just curious, like, where did I do something wrong? Yeah. And she just like, was like, oh, you know, I feel your energy is just inches off. You're not in it. Like, you're. And. And that was kind of like, that's the end.
Jennifer Walter (00:37:09) - And you, my client was like, uh, okay, so what now? There's almost kind of like a form of energy gaslighting, right? When you're like, Oh, yeah, you're interested in it. Well, then, thank you. But can you like? Yeah, exactly. What? The modalities. Right. Like, I don't know, maybe. Hey, maybe. I don't know. Colour therapy. Sound healing works for you, too. Yeah, exactly. Like, it's very popular to see people like, you know, talk about their mentors and things like that, but, like, what did you do with that mentor, though? Like, what did they really teach you, you know, when you're working with all these other people? Because again, these two girls, this one girl, I'd be like, oh my God, like her coach, you know, he's like doing really well. Or, you know, this isn't that. But I'm like, What? What happens? They're like, Well, how did I miss it? Like, I'm as much a hard worker as she is.
Jennifer Walter (00:38:08) - Yeah. But yeah, no, get that. That's again like, and I, you know, you're almost like looking for validation in others when it's like it's all within. Yeah, it's that. Sure, sure. In an inside job. Yeah. No, but that's a good kind of sentence to remember. Like it's really, there will never be the outside validation, right? Like, whatever you're seeking, I don't know. It's got to come from within. Exactly. Otherwise, you've always got to chase the next, the next thing, whether it's like the next course, the next partner, the next service, the next whatever, guru lifestyle coach, whatever. Right. It's. It's never going to be enough. Really. Yeah. And I think another thing too is there was a lot of times where like there was, I guess, a certain method or certain service that they're like, Oh, you should do this. That's how you'll get your ten K and ten days. And I'm like, That's literally not what I'm doing now.
Jennifer Walter (00:39:02) - That's like the opposite of what I'm doing. But then I'm like, Oh, okay, I'm going to go try that and, like really put in my work. And I'm like, That's not even in alignment for me. Why am I trying to do a coaching program? What I love is working one on one. People with people like I really developed my shit list scanner. So whenever I'm looking through a sales page or something, and I see this word like certain words, I'm like, This is not a sales page for me. Thank you very much. You know, we're just going to go like, Oh yeah, no, yeah, like the whole like hustle ten, ten, ten-day hustle. Whatever. Grind girl. Boss, babe, mom, mom, preneur. Like, whenever those words pop up, I'm like, Yeah, no, gotta go. Gotta get out of here. These are not my people. I'm out. Thank you. My people. Not my people.
Jennifer Walter (00:39:55) - Yeah. No, my life, my people are not people. That's me. Yeah. Love that. No, it's just. I don't know. There's always. There's this glorification of hustle. It's just can't, like, can't. It's, it's so elitist also like, can't like I'm like no. Yeah. No. Hey, Mary, I have one more question before I let you go. And that's why I'm always curious. What book are you currently reading? Ooh. Which audiobook are listening to depending on? Yeah. No, I'm currently not listening to any. That's cool. I'm being honest, but I will say my favourite book of all time that got me out of a really, really low place in my life was You Were Born Rich by Bob Proctor. You were born rich. Okay, cool. Proctor Bob Proctor is my hero. Rest in Peace is no longer with us. Okay? But yeah, he's like, the audiobook is like it's like listening to a cassette from the 80s because it's literally like an 80 seminar.
Jennifer Walter (00:41:05) - But everything that he talks about back then, it's still relative today. And it completely helped me get out of a really low place. I even gave it to my partner, and it was really cool because it helped him too. I mean, he was in a low place the way I was listening to this book. Let's manifest some really cool things we did. That's amazing. We're gonna show notes. So, hey, how can people find you online where you hang out? Yeah, absolutely. So, I am on Instagram. You can find me under my name. It's Mary Alvarez. Also, my last name is LV. You are is. There are two underscores at the end. By the time we're in the middle, we're also going to link up my name. Instagram will show up online at my website. Share your magico. You can check me out there and everything I have. Yeah. And people also can be like, Hey, I want to hear more of Mary. You have your own podcast to write.
Jennifer Walter (00:42:01) - Do my own podcast. Yes. It's to share your magic. That is amazing. So, if you want to hear more of Mary, you can. You're also very much invited to listen to share your magic. Thanks so much, Jennifer. Mary, thank you so much for this really, really interesting conversation. It was beautiful to talk about our own journeys and our similarities. Thank you so much for being. Yeah, absolutely. I love what you're doing. I love that. You know, we're all speaking the truth. You know, there's no like, ooh, like, you know, throw sparkles all over this and make it like a shiny object. Yeah. There's nothing for you. Like, we're just. My nickname is in sparkles. Yeah. Sadly, no. Yeah. No, no, but. Right. Like, I feel there's this balance between, like, we're speaking our truth where we're sharing our stories without being like, this is the universal truth. Like, this is the gospel, which it is not.
Jennifer Walter (00:43:03) - No, no, no, by any means, no. I just hope this inspires anybody who listens. Yeah, say it serves you, forget what it does. Amen. And like I said, I was like, that was my truth. That was my story. But I, you know, for everybody listening. Yeah, I just want you to thrive. And you know, share your magic. That's beautiful. And so on. Brand, I love it. Mary, thank you so much for being on the podcast. Thank you for having me.