Feeling Behind in Life? You're Not Alone: Redefining Success as a Millennial in 2025

For me , it's usually at 3am while doom scrolling instagram instead of trying to fall back asleep . For others , um , it's . It might be those during those fun family gatherings when your aunt susan asks again , why are you still renting ? Or maybe it's your mom casually dropping , so when do I get some grandbabies ?

So well , buckle up , because we're about to unpack what's really going on here , backed by some cold hard facts surfing the side of oh , now , this makes sense and zero shame , because we're not in the game for that . There's a different way to think about mental health , and it starts with slowing down .

Sometimes , the longest way around is the shortest way home , and that's exactly why we're taking the scenic route . Hi , I'm Jennifer Walter , host of the Scenic Route podcast . Think of me as your sociologist , sister in arms and rebel with many causes Together .

We're blending critical thinking with compassion , mental health with a dash of rebellion , and personal healing with collective change . We're trading perfectionism for possibility and personal healing with collective change . We're treating perfectionism for possibility and toxic positivity for messy growth .

Each week , we're exploring the path to better mental health and social transformation and yes , by the way , pretty crystals are totally optional . You ready to take the scenic route ? Let's walk this path together .

Why we millennials feel all broke and why we're not wrong some truth bombs that may or may not make you feel a whole lot better about you and your bank account . When we talk about feeling behind , we're not just in our feelings and our emotions .

We are responding to some very real economic shifts that have fundamentally transformed our world over the past decades . Bring up some data . As always , please mind , I'm a white West European sociologist . I'll bring some data for Europe and some for the US .

It might look very different in the part of the world where you live , but we see global trends emerging , so , or have emerged . So there you take . Take that with you as we keep on going . Um . So let's dive in . The average malayan household is sitting at about 92,000 in network . That's um . A study by p research in 2019 for the us 92 000 .

So before you either celebrate or cry into your oat milk latte . Here's the kicker and the important part that's nearly 40 percent less than what baby boomers had at the same age when it trusted for inflation . Yeah , we all cry a little now . Or if you look at the housing market , only 30 of us millennials own homes .

That's based on the nir's housing statistics of 2023 . For perspective , if you hop over to sweden , um , where 44 of millennials are homeowners . But even the swedes are concerned because that's way down from the 60 to 70% rates their parents enjoyed in the 1980s .

Before anyone comes for Switzerland , because it's often the poster child for economic stability , listen to this the lowest income 20% of households in Switzerland are spending half their disposable income just on rent . Meanwhile the highest income fifth only needs to fork over 17.2 for their housing , according to 2021 data . So it's not just like a wealth crack anymore .

It's starting to look more like grand canyon . And those are data . But what also happened is our timelines shifted right like our life milestones just got a really bad remix .

So remember that need like life timeline our guidance counselor used to show us back in school , the one that went something like graduate , college , land , stable job , get married , buy house , have kids retire with a golden watch yeah , that one . So those life milestones , they have shifted massively .

If you look at marriage and family , in 1980 people were saying I do , at the median age of 24 for men and 22 for women . Fast forward to 2023 those numbers have jumped to 30 for men and 28 for women . That's based on the us study by the peer research in 2023 .

And it might be because we're commitment phobes , but it's just certainly not the case in all of us right . Often it might just be we're waiting until we can actually fucking afford the wedding and the life that's supposed to come after we have . Another big thing is career stability , this kind of like chop hopping right .

For my dad , staying in one company for 40 years was the goal . I've switched jobs every few years and that was my normal and it was also my way to get a meaningful raise . So I wasn't just disloyal , I was just doing girl math like real girl math .

So and we see this , traditional annual raises often barely keep up with inflation and job changes typically result in 10 to 20 salary increases . And on top of that we had this like whole shift of and rise of the gig economy right . So let's like , what's the gig economy right ? Like ?

Think of it like this instead of having one steady job with benefits , more and more people are piercing , are piecing together their income from multiple gigs or short-term jobs like kind of like freelance on steroids . Right , you might drive for uber between freelance projects or door dashing , or teach online classes or rent out the spare room , like whatever .

It is right , um , but the catch is these gigs usually come don't

come without any , come without any traditional benefits or safety nets , no health insurance , no paid vacation , no retirement plans . You're essentially running your own micro business , complete with all the freedom and rests um , we have , like the whole .

A third big area is the whole owner home ownership thing , which is kind of like moving target and here get things get really interesting or depressing , depending on your perspective . Housing costs in many urban areas now consume over 50 of monthly income , which is insane , right , traditional , the traditional 20 down payment has .

Is what has become this mythical , nearly mythical number for many ? Um , and , yeah , probably most people wait for their boomer parents to die to make that happen . And right , I just really . It's . Yes , in some case there are individual mishaps , but we need to look at the system and breaking down the bigger picture .

So , yes , in similar cases there might be personal mishaps or failures , if you want to call them that I , I mean , have I done stupid shit with my money ? Sure did , but this does not like . This doesn't take anything away from the systemic shift . We had right . We had economic policy impacts .

Corporate tax cuts have prioritized shareholder profits over worker wages for the past decades . Deregulation has made many industries more profitable , less stable wealth accumulation at the top has created a new gilded age . Right , and we're not talking . This is the thing where we talk about , like hacks , the rich . We're not talking about single digit millionaires .

We talking billionaires and like the double digit millionaires . Like no , no one is coming for your . Like little cottage sharon , no , but anyway , like you have student debt crisis .

I know this is very specific , particularly to certain areas of the world , um , but if you have , like in the us , if you have 1.7 trillion in student loan debt , this isn't a personal failure . This is . It's a policy choice for perspective .

My bachelor's degree in Switzerland like including books , materials and shit , was less than 7k for the three years , or maybe 8k if you count in like bus tickets to and there , like whatever , like I don't even remember the number , that's how insignificant it was . Not saying 7k is not a lot of money , but it's not a hundred thousand .

So on top of that , you can't just say , oh well , you know , not everyone needs to go to college . True , I wouldn't believe that . But we see that a college degree went from a ticket to success to a basic requirement . You have so many job , job , job listings now who just require a basic bachelor's degree .

And we're not talking about if this is right or wrong right now and might be for another episode . Um , and on top of that , we have the long shadow of 28 . Right , many millennials enter the workforce during the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression , and those early career sadbacks have compounded effects that echo through decades .

Recovery from financial trauma also takes generations , not a year . And here's where things get even more spicy . All these systemic changes have created something social scientist Ulrich Beck called the risk society . Think of it this way Our parents dealt with traditional risks like will I get that promotion ? Will she marry me ?

But we're facing entirely new categories of uncertainty that nobody prepared us for , because they couldn't right . We're not blaming it was , it's just that they couldn't foresee it . They did not also have like a don't know a crystal ball . So welcome to the risk society . Next , experience explains so much about why we're all feeling a bit wobbly these days .

He pointed out that modern societies are creating new kinds of risks we've never dealt with before . For example , invisible risks like credit scores that can change your life without you even knowing why , like ai or algorithmic hiring that might reject your resume before a human actually sees it .

Or just financial algorithms that determine whether you can rent an apartment or get a loan , or any kind of algorithm that depends on how high your use financial algorithms that determine whether you can rent an apartment or get a loan , or any kind of algorithm that depends on how high you're . Or we have cumulative risks if you have .

If you add student debt plus housing instability , plus gig economy , you kind of like have a perfect storm of precarity and each setback has a bigger ripple effect because we have fewer safety nets . So the psychological weight of constant uncertainty creates its own problems . Or we have reversible risks .

Right , if you start your career during a 20-year recession , that impact is still showing up in earnings . Missing or missing out on early career development opportunities can create lasting career gaps . That also includes if you need to go to military service or if you have a baby or have other caretaking responsibilities .

Compounded effects of delayed wealth building has generational consequences . So what happens when you take all these new risks and uncertainties and slam them right into our basic human need to grow , develop and find our place in the world ? Yeah , okay , this is where things also again get spicy and where traditional psychology needs a serious update .

Remember I think it was , yeah , eric erick from Psych 101 , if you took that class a series of psychosocial development outlines eight key life stages , each presenting a challenge that shapes our identity . But if we throw in Beck's risk society , where uncertainty and shifting societal norms dominate , oh , suddenly these stages look very different .

So this is , you're on a podcast for millennials . That's why we're only talking about stage eight of eric erickson's um development of like key stages , which is the intimacy versus isolation . This is the young adulthood , years 18 to 40 . Um , this stage centers around .

For him , this stage centers around one key question can I form close and meaningful relationships if , if , yes , um , yeah , I build it . Can build deep , lasting relationship if not experience as long , less difficulty with emotional intimacy . Hello , it's like we have met before anyway .

So so if we look at it like the identity versus role confusion just never ending coming of age story , right ?

This classic question of can I develop a stable sense of self takes on a new meaning when traditional formulas this education and hard work , equal success no longer hold and it feels like every milestone of making it just keeps shifting , or it's kind of like dangled in front of us like a carrot .

Career paths disappear overnight and get replaced with others that may or may not be stable career paths . Who knows ? It's too early to tell . Looking at you , youtube influencers and whatnot . Um , and we are navigating risks our parents never imagined and no school book ever told us about . Right ?

So , as a result , an extended adolescence where we're constantly questioning our choices , stuck in an identity crisis fueled by an unstable world , instead of growing into a well-defined role where we're forced to . Instead of that , we're forced to reinvent ourselves repeatedly , adapting to ever-changing

job markets and demands economic instability and digital disruption . Markets and demands economic instability and digital disruption . So young adulthood is supposed to be about building deep relationships . What if we add economic instability and modern pressures ? Right , we we have , like dating apps prioritizing credit scores over connection .

We have friendships fractured on a financial stress . We have people women with mental load , not just stretching themselves . Since then , future planning feels super impossible when we don't know , like , do we still have a job next month ? So financial precarity isn't just about money , right , and this is if you've never been poor in your life .

This is sometimes really hard to understand . It directly impacts trust , emotional security , the ability to commit your whole overall well-being . When survival is uncertain , relationships become fraught with anxiety . Financial stress exaggerates existing mental health struggles , making vulnerability and deep connection even harder to maintain .

So this is kind of like a whole mental health triple whammy for us , right . So , one , we have identity formation chaos . Right , we're trying to build a stable self in an unstable world yay , go us . We're constantly reinventing ourselves to stay employable and or presentable to partners . Yay , love this journey .

For us , never feeling professionally complete or like whole in any sense of way , not even meaningful . Way to right with relationship navigation and uncertainty . Yeah , we're supposed to build , like these super meaningful relationships , but we have trust issues which are kind of to be expected when everyone's financially vulnerable .

Um , we were balanced when we need to balance personal growth with your survival . I mean survival comes first right . So , um , also finding community . It is getting increasingly hard . Traditional support structures fade , third , spaces are getting lost along the way . And third , for the triple whammy , we have the psychological load and this constant adaption fatigue .

We are just emotionally overwhelmed . Y'all , we're fucking tired . Anxiety over both present and future , yay , and the shame of not meeting outdated milestones . So that was a lot . Here comes the second important part your action plan . Because what you have now is the knowledge , but knowledge without action is just trivia .

So let's talk about what we can actually do . Please take what works for you . These are broad suggestions , dear Lord . No , not one size fits all solutions . That's what one-to-one coaching is for . Look out for the things that resonate with you or that spark curiosity and joy that's my advice and then go wrong with it . So first category

redefine success on your own terms . Create your own milestone map that reflect your current reality . Right , yes , you can dream , but like also keep it anchored in where you are right now . Set achievable quarterly goals instead of distant life markers . Break it down . Maybe break it down to really like your next actionable step .

Document your progress to remind yourself how far you've come and question inherited definitions of success , celebrate unconventional achievements or any fucking anything that feels like a fucking achievement idea . Ideas for the second category financial resilience . Explore alternative arrangements . Maybe you can share or exchange services with your neighborhood or people online .

Looking at stable , multiple income streams , what can you do ? I mean , maybe a site , a gig , a part of the gig economy serves you for a while . That's okay . Learn about investing in wealth building outside traditional paths . Create an emergency fund based on what you need for your life . The third bucket create community power . Ideas here would be warm .

Or join accountability groups . Maybe it's money or for career or it's just kind of like a network group where you all want to go . Again , explore cooperative business models . What can you do together ? Or build a skill sharing network where you can help out . Create a mutual aid system for your community within your community it's really about go local .

Or collaborate on resource sharing initiatives . Bucket for mental health and digital well-being acknowledge that reality of the reality of financial trauma for you , explore it . Or another idea and this is this I think this is for all of us get real about what you're consuming online . Right , if someone's trying to sell you their lifestyle .

They're probably selling you a fantasy . Do a massive cleanup of your instagram feed . Unfollow every single lifestyle influencer who is making you feel bad or ashamed or behind and who's also trying to sell you their , their version of success through like a two thousand dollar mastermind .

Right , um , and remember those perfect morning routines and passing income promises and trad wives whatever whatnot are usually backed by trust funds or a massive debt . Find affordable therapy options right , because untangling from societal pressure is real work at all , like financial trauma that comes , that may or may not come with it for you .

That everyone can do and cannot do more can always do more of . Is practice self-compassion , um , or build support networks that understand your reality and where you're coming from and who aren't trying to sell you anything like real community bucket five as always , your sociologist , hard at work . Engage in systemic change . Stay informed about economic policy .

Vote in local and national elections . Support organizations fighting for economic justice . Advocate for workplace changes , workplace safety , mental health , initiatives in the works , in the workplace . Share your story to help others feel , feel less alone and feel seen . So bottom line is your journey , your rules , right . Success isn't really a destination .

You've never made it . It's a journey , it's a scenic route . Get it and yours gets to look different . It's okay . Whether you're reading , you're listening to this while hiding from your kids in the bathrooms I see you or dreaming of a career pivot , or just trying to make it through another Tuesday .

Remember , please , like you're not behind , you're exactly where you need to be and release the shame because that traditional roadmap it's isn't . It isn't just outdated , it was written for a world it doesn't exist anymore and instead of trying to follow someone else's direction , it's listen to your . Listen to you and what you want . And you know what .

If you , if you're still listening to this podcast , you've already started it . You started by being here learning and questioning the status quo , so you want to create change together . Rewrite it . Take stock of what you actually want , not what you think you should want .

Pick one of the suggestions I've listed earlier , like one of the action one , two or three action steps , whatever you feel you have the capacity for . Start implementing one thing , just one , it's fine . If you have the capacity to do two or three , it's fine . Come back , let me know how it went , how it's going for you . I'm rooting for you always .

So if you want to hear more real talk about money , mindset and making it work and everything between , subscribe to the scenic web podcast . Wherever you get your podcast , your daily podcast needs met . A new episode drops every Tuesday , serving up the perfect blend of practical whistle and potty humor . Because who says personal growth can't be fun ?

It's hard , yes , but it also can be fun Sometimes . But hey , so feel free to join our community of fellow Senior Girl Travelers who are redefining success on their own terms . We would love to welcome you there . Success on their own terms , we would love to welcome you there .

And just like that , we've reached the end of another journey together on the CineGroot podcast . Thank you for spending time with us , curious for more stories or in search of the resources mentioned in today's episode , visit us at cinegrouppodcastcom for everything you need . And if you're ready to embrace your Cineic route , I've got something special for you .

Step off the beaten path with my scenic route affirmation card deck . It's crafted for those moments when you're seeking courage , yearning to trust your inner voice and eager to carve out a path authentically , unmistakably yours . Pick your scenic route affirmation today and let it support you .

Excited about where your journey might lead I certainly am today , and let it support you . Excited about where your journey might lead , I certainly am . Remember , the scenic route is not just about the destination , but the experiences , learnings and joy we discover along the way .

Thank you for being here and I look forward to seeing you on the scenic route again .