¶ Exploring Personal Development and Embracing Chaos
Laurin Mariani is a remarkable individual who possesses a unique blend of talents as a soul activator and psychic alchemist . With her exceptional abilities , she fearlessly explores uncharted territories to uncover solutions where others rarely venture .
Each day , she courageously pushes the boundaries of her gifts , delivering transformative and sacred healings to countless individuals seeking inspiration . Lauren's journey led her to develop the remarkable soul DNA mastermind . During a challenging period in her life , she found herself in a position where she had no option but to rescue herself .
It was through this experience that she discovered a profound realization . By embracing her true identity , her soul's essence , she became an extraordinarily powerful creator and author of her own life . Lauren , for people who are listening in and might not know you , where are your courage at on the scenic road of your life and business ? What's currently on your mind ?
Frankly , I have just done a massive personal development trip where I indimitated chaos out my life . Oh , tell me more Freaking handle . We recently went away .
I came back , my passageway was flooding with water and I was telling my business partner and she's like , dude , that fuck , every single time you go away like you get back to the situation like what is it with you ? And chaos . And I was like it's fine , we can manage it . And she's like , just because you can doesn't mean you should .
And I was like , oh no .
It was .
And you know , my integrity and my soul like kind of take responsibility very easily and that's one of the things that I teach .
And so at that point I couldn't defend it , because it had to know that I have been so accustomed to living within that nerve and within that space where chaos is my normal , because when everything is chaotic around me , that's when I perform my best , that's when I'm ready to do my best , that's when I problem solve my best , and so I love that state of
chaos . And then she was like , just because you can doesn't mean you should . And I was like , oh yeah .
That's exact . That's always my sentiment too .
When people tell me something , I'm like they're right , but oh nah , no so that's been the things I just literally got out of , like a three , four week personal development journey where having a look at where chaos comes from . Is it linear ? Is it generational ? Is it you know past lives ? Is it within my soul , dna ? Is it what am I ?
Is it something I'm attracted to ? Is it something I'm addicted to ? Is it something that I like ? Where the hell is this coming from ? And I'm through the other side . I was saying it's the most surreal experience , almost a bit like the matrix . I'm still trying to figure out , like where the hell that came in from and what the hell happened .
But it was just the most incredibly freeing experience to realize that I love that Through life . It doesn't matter where you are in your personal development journey .
I was on a podcast last night and I was explaining that we assume that if you are a therapist , that you've got your stuff together , don't like I'm not even afraid to say that Like I don't have all my ducks in a row , like they're everywhere and that as long as they're all in the same pond , I'm good with that .
But yeah , absolutely , and as long as they're still seeing each other , it's fine .
Yeah , as long as we're kind to see them all , we're all good . And it was just the realization where somebody said to me , knowing everything's so perfect in your life , and I stopped them and said you know , pick a celebrity , message that celebrity and find out what's wrong with them . Everybody is going through stuff .
The difference is some people just choose to take responsibility for that stuff and work through it so that they can help others .
Yeah , and it's easy to be tempted to think that way , right , because I mean social media , hello right , like so many of us are trained like , oh , we cannot show . Like there I feel there's quite a cultural agreement on what kind of feelings I can show and what kind of feelings I cannot .
And there is like , of course as well , like a gender perspective to that . I mean , men can show that they're angry , women cannot .
Yeah , it's just like , oh , no , and you're already too much , you're hysterical , you're whatever , right , and then you get put on this , these labels of like how people think you are , and it just gets a whole lot of life out of there .
It does . That's the thing , and I think I really realized that within my chaotic journey , like what is chaos ? So one of the things was that I had to have a conversation about boundaries and that you know my boundary and I had put in energies like to stop me from dealing with any chaos . Do you know ? I realized that having the conversation is chaos .
Oh , I know my desire to problem solve that and to put in my boundary was going to be more chaotic than just walking away and I was like , oh , wow , like yeah , the effect of me and I'm able to put in boundaries very effectively and I'm brilliant at what I do . But for me I was just like , wow , that's an entirely different energy .
That , because I , within my program itself and I think within the soul DNA program itself , I never really realized that this is where it would get me to the point where I would just shake , layer after layer after layer after layer , and these in , just as though just the same way , these infinite past lives , these infinite generational stuff , these infinite layers
to personal developments , and just as you think you've nailed one , in comes another one and in comes another one .
So it's an entirely different thing to see the beauty in that and not get kind of like I don't know .
Sometimes I feel people have almost like a I mean , we're all so in this , like capitalist , a coastal culture that we're even see healing or personal development as like a checklist a step , then step next , step two , three , four , five , whatever , and if we cannot cross it off then we fail or something I don't know Right , and it's , it's , it's just not working
like that , because that all created chaos .
You know , like that was where you've got these to do this , and I'm a very driven person , I'm a very goal oriented person . But I realized that it's okay that some days I don't work . So okay that someday today I clean up my kids bedroom cupboards , because it's just been a day and it wasn't that anything has happened . It's just on my personal development .
I just needed downtime . And so I was like I want to remove more chaos out of my life . Show me where this chaos . And I was like , actually , the kids cupboards needed to be clean . So let's just like , do that and everyone's feeling so much better about it . And I was like , oh , that's not even ominous , but that's probably the biggest impact of all .
You know , yeah .
Yeah , that's so interesting , right , Like when you're kind of like you're making a list of like , okay , how to reduce chaos , and then you like consciously think about it .
¶ Responsibility, Anger, and Solving Chaos
But when you intuitively ask yourself , okay , where is chaos to be ? Where is chaos Like something not in the linemen or out of whack , it might show you something different .
So different , so so different . And I mean my kids told it was insane . They've , like , kept every piece of paper since they were born and today they would both like , because it's an alignment right . Today they're both like mommy , we just decided today that we just need to get rid of it all and some stuff we want to keep , some stuff we don't .
And I mean there's piles everywhere at the moment and that's okay , like we're just going to bin , bag it all out and put it all you know to be collected and that's fine . But it's when I think sometimes we get so focused on our own list that we don't , like you say , make those soul based decisions on .
Our intention can be to declutter and to remove chaos , but where that takes to be a soul based , you know on some on where we need to go , yeah , yeah , and it's same as in business , right , you can have the strategy and like all the strategic pieces and bits , but you kind of have to decide what feels good for you and when it does feel good to you ,
otherwise , the strategic pieces or piece of paper Okay .
It is and it just won't work . That's the thing is , and I think sometimes I wrote down something and you read it to you . I wrote this on the screen .
Give us a download .
This is an incredible download . Actually , I my downloads always come when I write , and so this will me Was pretty profound . I'm just trying to find it . It wasn't saying when we talk about responsibility and you hit to an emotion , we suddenly find ourselves experiencing raw emotions , ones that trigger us to cast blame , make excuses and run from hard choices .
We assume responsibility is an outward act that will result in an inward piece . However , it is when responsibility ignites an inward trigger or an anger that we should pay attention .
When we pay attention , our external actions and the rage behind them will soon ensure that we face the inner struggle of turning to ourselves , to accept our role and responsibilities of change within . It was like I was doing .
I was having a chat with a friend about responsibility and as we were talking , it was the whole but that's showing those responsibility and but they behaved like that and oh , but that person made me feel like that . I said where are you taking responsibility ? And she's like I have nothing to take responsibility for .
And I said the fact that it's caused a trigger within you is telling me that it does . I don't care what that is , but we , the minute I just ended it with , the minute you feel you want to blame , stop Like don't even , don't even find out who you're blaming . Stop and just take responsibility within that . That is your soul's way of or your human way .
Actually it's your soul's way of communicating take responsibility , it's your human way of saying blame someone else .
Yeah , and like how often do we do that , like even unconsciously , or like it's the easy way out , right ? Like , oh , this and this is like that and it's just always been like this , whatever , and it's really , how do we ? So ?
I think there are two really interesting topics there , like one really talking about more of the concept of responsibility and like really crass responsibility , right , not just like , oh yeah , I'm accountable , like what really like going all the way and how how we navigate that .
And also you said there's something interesting about like anger , right , that this is often like a telltale sign or like a telltale emotion of , oh , this is something where we can look at and we can look deeper and just seeing , like why , why do we feel anger ? So how do we go about being crass responsible were our feelings and then ultimately , our actions ?
Like how do we start to entangle that and how to approach that ?
So we were just discussing that this morning about the consequences of doing SolveDNA . There's the consequences of doing the program . We've lived the program , we've lived the program . We're walking through so many of the program , as are hundreds of others . However , the consequences of it that was our conversation within ourselves .
If we were the first pioneers of this and we wrote this program , if the consequences of it are that we physically no longer have the ability to deflect responsibility , our intent in creating the program is to make people more responsible for their lives .
I don't think we ever truly imagined that we would get to the point where you were left with no choice but to make responsibility for every single thing . So within the SolveDNA program , I'm gonna mix the two because they interlink . But within the SolveDNA program , anger is within the ugly column .
It's the ugly emotion , or certainly the emotion we define as ugly , that has the most powerful role . Because the ugly column has the most powerful role because it is showing us that that has been triggered for a reason , that there has been a soul violation somewhere along the line .
So , with each one of our emotions , there are three columns within SolveDNA the good , the bad , the ugly . The good is all the typical stuff that you know I'm not going , I'm shy , I'm yeah . You know these kinds of things . The bad are the minor little things like intolerance and patience .
Okay , yeah , they're clever , yeah , yeah . What do you say when asking you what , like in job interviews and things ? You're like , oh , I'm a patient .
Well , so this is the thing , right
¶ Exploring Intuition and Soul-Based Decision Making
. So , within birthing this program , I realized that my impatience is actually my driving force , because I'm a naturally lazy person , and so , if I was , I am lazy and I allow myself the space to be lazy . However , my impatience is , within a spiritual world , the very thing that gets me answers very quickly .
I need to help this person now , and it's as simple as that , so I don't have the patience to be waiting for an answer back . I want it , and that energy is what brings it . Now my impatience is equal .
Okay , yeah , I'm a 70 minutes driver , yeah yeah , and so I redefined certain things .
The same way we take a people pleaser , we all are like oh , I'm a people pleaser , I'm in it and I'm like I'm not , I'm not , I'm not , I'm absolutely . But that's the thing is like well , how many times have you violated just on a people pleaser ? So it tells people pleasing or perfectionist , perfectionist , another one , that's huge , yeah .
And we ignore the triggers of the perfectionist or the people pleaser . We ignore them again and again and again . That is called a soul violation . We then move to intolerance , into the bad . From the intolerance it starts getting stronger and stronger and stronger . Or we jump into the ugly , where anger is its head .
We then , the minute we get angry about something , we start laying blame at everybody else . Well , I've committed to too many things because they asked me this you know , perfection , I can't achieve it . Or we look to social media , as we mentioned , and where does perfection come from ?
And so we always look externally to validate our reason behind the outburst , because that's responsibility . Right , if we can identify it externally , we're then able to put in a boundary with it . Mm-hmm , it doesn't work like that . The fact that responsibility is it has triggered something within me . I need to take responsibility for what that trigger is .
If my people pleaser is responsible , what do I need to do to fix that ? It's not about anybody else . If my perfectionist is the trigger , what do I need to do to fix that ?
And so suddenly , if my chaos is constantly around me and you just become super , super heightened in every single sense and emotion because you have the activations within it or leave you with no option , mm-hmm , okay , why not run yourself ?
No , See what it is . You can also not like put stuff under the carpet . It's not gonna work .
It's an impossibility . That is the thing , and so when I looked at my chaos , I didn't even it was my normal right . Mm-hmm , it was my normal , so I didn't even know it existed . It wasn't until somebody else pointed it out .
Yeah , and I reflected back at you like , oh , actually you're doing this .
But tell people go through this amount of shit and they're like , yeah , but doesn't mean you should do that .
Or like actively cultivated .
That's the thing . That's the thing . And I think when we talk about responsibility , you know , we put personal development into that , we put therapy into that , we put exercise diet everything .
Dental recycling right .
It is . You know , I had a lady like chatting to me about her diet the other day and her meal planning and I just said to her like have you just opened the fridge and asked your soul what it wants to eat for the day ? Eh , no . So I was like , do you wanna try that ? Like it's gonna be so much easier .
Like have all the healthy stuff in the fridge but ask your soul what it wants . Like it's your , but our bodies are just the vessel and yet we've developed this entire personality around society and being human that we've actually excluded our soul altogether . Just start making soul-based decisions and start asking Christians what do you want to eat today ?
And it's easy to ask what do you want to eat today . Like you're talking to your best friend and tend to become slowing grained within you that you can say what do I want to eat today ?
Yeah , I think that's a good workaround to really see your soul as a separate being for the time being , right , like just okay for a person's speech , while you're kind of like adjusting to that because it's quite a change . I mean I'm doing I call it intuitive eating , but I mean it's basically same same . So that's my approach as well as in business .
But I mean everyone has approach , has difference iris in their life where it is easier or it seems impossible , right , because of all of our conditioning .
So , and I love the example that you brought with eating , because that's where almost everyone of us has some shit around and I feel it's a more or less safe area to start , unless you have a serious eating disorder . That might not be the best place to start .
So how do we go about this , which is really opening the fridge and asking our soul what it needs ?
And I think so . So many people ask me , but I don't know what my soul sounds like . If you were to picture Jiminy Cricket , is it from Pinocchio ? There was a little cricket that sat on the puppet's shoulder .
Yeah , I guess . Yeah , I think it's coming out here , I think so , yeah , it's your conscience .
It is like , just picture right here the first thing that pops into your mind that I can guarantee you that will be the answer . But we've never been taught what into , like we question intuition , and it's not something goes right or wrong that we're like oh , I knew it .
Yeah , retrospectively like exactly .
And so now I'm saying well , let's bring it all the way forward and the easiest way . I've used this example so many times . If I was say to you hey , jennifer , tea or coffee Tea ? What if I didn't offer you tea ? What if I said hey , do you want some coffee ? Sure , you have just sacrificed your soul .
Yeah , I guess coffee would have been fine enough , Like well the rest of the conversation you and I are going to be having .
You're actually not paying attention . All you're doing is thinking I hate coffee .
And I was like what's tea ? What was your other with me ? Why was I not standing up for myself , Even in , just like you know ?
I just put some tea bags in my bag and just say hey , can you just put , can you boil me some water ? And I'll just try and tea bag it and we're just no effort at all , right , Like yeah . It's the same amount to me , but I've got a boil of water to make the coffee .
Yeah , it's like you're not a burden to a tea person , to your host . It doesn't take a lot of space to carry two tea bags , Like it's simple .
That's not what that , and so the entire rest of our conversation all you're thinking about . I wish I had a cup of tea and that's your soul trying so desperately to reprogram your human state , and her is an easier way for this . It's trying so hard to get you to validate that you just betrayed yourself . Yeah .
I kind of like gap , that it realizes there is a dissonance and it's kind of like okay , we're trying to eradicate this dissonance . No , no , no , no .
And so everything you look at , you know , if my husband said hey , I want pizza for dinner , I wouldn't mind , like an Indian takeaway , it's like another road down . Do you come , can we pick up both ? Yeah , well , I suggested pizza . No , I understand that , but the Indian takeaways right there as well .
So I would prefer Indian food and you can have pizza , and that way no one's sacrificing anything .
Yeah , I don't want you to sacrifice , unless you're telling me I didn't fear Indian . It didn't sound to me Well , that's the thing .
And if my husband's like , oh , don't worry , I'll give up pizza for India , okay , love you , sacrifice your soul . That's completely like you , do you ? I'm not even stressing about .
And so when we look at this relationship with food , that's actually how I learned to communicate with my soul , because I realized that society's taught us to be polite , it's taught us to not ask , it's taught us all these things . And I was like I did social experiments with it . I was like hey , do you , do you mind if I ask what coffee it is ?
I'm really fussy with my coffee and they're like oh , it's instant , do you mind if I just have some tea ? It's not personal , I just I like a certain type of coffee and if I can't get that certain type of coffee , I'd rather not have anything . Sure , I'd rather have water . Yeah , I'm not saying anything about you as a person .
If you have the insecurity and you take it on , be my guest , I don't know .
Which happens a lot , I suppose . I mean I ensure things like oh Lauren , she's so complicated , she's so difficult , no , that's fine . No , no , no . I mean , yeah sure , it's fine . I mean it's not your problem , it's there , that's what I'm saying , but that's what makes you right .
I mean it goes back to our conditioning of like oh , I don't want to be perceived as difficult or whatever , right , audacious , and sometimes it's like why do we actively trying to be an awesome about it yeah , yeah , absolutely Like .
I don't go to the restaurant and actively think about how I can screw up their day . I quantify them how can they make ?
the waiter the most miserable of ever .
I qualify it as a chef , so I understand what it is in a kitchen to get that order . But at the same time , if there's genuinely nothing on the menu that I feel like eating or there's an ingredient in there that I don't like , hey , you swap out . I have an egg energy . Can you swap out eggs and just put extra bacon ?
Can you swap out eggs and just put extra mushrooms ? Yeah , like there's nothing wrong with that , there's nothing else . And equally , I have to take responsibility and understand .
I'm a fancy eater so I would rather than they ordering my food and I have a look at the plates coming out of the kitchen , I feel nothing to go up to a table and be like , hey , what are you eating ? I'm still undecided on the menu . I just wanted to see what it was and you were eating and like , oh , that looks really amazing .
Oh , my God , that looks right . But was it ? Yeah , what did she say ? Yeah , yeah . Like there's nothing wrong with that because you're only ever going to do it once . Right , I'm going to go back into the restaurant and be like hey , I ordered this from you last time , but I asked you to hold up on this and you nailed it .
Like you were amazing about the way you played to my food . Can you do that for me again ? They're not going to be like oh my God , that will make me think , because my attitude is not that .
Yeah , like the vibe and the intention behind it is different . Right , it's not making it as impossible for everyone to be around you , work with you , whatever . Yeah , like to some extent standing your ground .
Well , it's just making that soul-based decision . Equally , why am I at that restaurant in the first place ? So I write about this within my container and I say , if I'm going to pay for food at a restaurant , I want it to be good food . I hate paying for crappy food . Fair . So yeah , I feel you .
If somebody says to me , like , if they can't make decisions , like I'm always amazed by the amounts of people that can't make decisions when do you want to go ? I'll name straight , like we can do here or here , and the only reason I'm able to give those two names is because I'm able to make an educated decision with my soul .
Yeah , and is it breakfast , lunch or dinner that we're going ? Yeah , well , this is my favorite place for breakfast , this is my favorite place for dinner and Russell's my favorite place for dinner . Yeah , and they had given me that option . And so .
So how do you have so many people a hard time doing simple decisions ? I'd say simple decisions right , because it's not going to make or break anything , like it's picking a restaurant , picking a movie , picking whatever it's not , why do we have a hard time with that ?
I just think that they're not taking responsibility for their lives . So we keep going back to responsibility . Yeah , because I was like hey , jennifer , do you want to go watch the new Barbie movie ? And you were like , absolutely not , are you out of your mind ? Hey , jennifer , do you want to go watch a movie ? Yeah , sure , what movie are you watching ?
I don't know . Let's go you already , your soul is already dying , oh yeah .
It's already dying . That sounds exhausting . Like what kind of movie ?
Yeah , it is , but Lauren's the girly girl . The amount of anxiety , oh my God . I bet Lauren's going to go watch the Barbie movie . I just don't know that I can deal with the Barbie movie , but if I ask her I don't want to seem rude . So how the hell am I going to get out of this ?
Okay , Okay , my head is spinning just from that . Oh , fear , fear , yeah , like I gladly come see the Barbie movie to you a second time .
No , I haven't even watched it the first time . I've been invited so many times and I'm like I just can't wrap my head around it . It's a no . I didn't even play with Barbies as a kid . I don't need to be playing in a movie house . Yeah , yeah . That's like when we think about making decisions , I don't mind or you choose has to be genuine .
You are going from the worst coffee in the world to the best coffee in the world and everything in between , and you're prepared to make that decision . That's it when you talk about , like , making soul based decisions with food , it's the worst plate of food or the best plate of food you could have . Either one . It just needs a decision as to which one .
Yes , let's circle back .
¶ Discovering Authenticity Through Self-Reflection
I definitely there's something particularly interesting that was kind of like , let's drill down there . You said , like , whatever decision like , basically no one cares as long as it's like your genuine decision .
And for it to be a genuine decision , we got to have a level of understanding of ourselves and living fully in our truth to do that , to know actually what's genuine for us , right , like how we have to live in a way that feels authentic and real . It's not the right word , but it's a good word . How do we so ?
How can we start making genuine decisions like or not making them , but knowing their genuine decisions like , and what kind of role plays our own authenticity in that ?
I think for me , this was the very question that got me to write this program is my husband said to me who I don't know , and I was like I had such a smart comeback but I couldn't even say it because all I could say to him is I'm a wife , I'm a mother , I'm a daughter , I'm a chef , I'm interior decor , I'm a counselor , like your roles .
They weren't who I was and I was like I don't know , and so that was for me is . I went through labels we spoke about label and I just started writing lists and lists and lists of labels , labels that everybody had called me Nables of situations that I had been in , labels that other people had put on me , and I stuck them all over my body .
You know that's very visual .
I love it yeah and I like , if anybody's listening to this , do it , then you do it . If you doubt what I'm saying , do this Start putting them onto your body , mm-hmm , so that you can see if you identify with them or not . Mm-hmm because when you walk past a mirror and you're like , no , I could never identify with being aggressive .
Mm-hmm , not aggressive , I'm passionate , mm-hmm . I Could never identify where . I Could never be an Academic mm-hmm . Whilst my grades showed an a-plus , I never identified as academic mm-hmm . So , but these stigmas that come with every single one of these things , I'm not a fussy person at all . I Really am not fussy in the slightest . I'm particular mm-hmm and .
So if I can't have something , a certain way , I get to make a decision to say no Thank you . And so when , when I had all these labels all over me , I could take off the ones that didn't resonate and I'd be left with that did resonate and that was kind of the foundation for the , for the entire program .
But for anybody going out there and Understanding your authenticity , it's about just being able to say what do I want ? Like if you were to ask yourself that every single day what do I want ? Is that what I want ? Every decision that is made , every decision made and you probably have to start .
if You're anything like me , to go through this process , you probably have to start really , really , really small , tiny , tiny , right , like even time , like when you , when you think of something , now , go tinier Good , smaller , right , like it's obvious though , and it's like the thing is , though is it's always .
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¶ Repetition and Interruption
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