Well hello ladies and gents, Robert Sykes, Keto, savage.com. And today I've got special guest Dylan Abea on the line and we dive deep into mindset and psychology around getting out of hard times, making forward momentum and just finding your purpose in life and working towards that purpose so that you can find some sense of fulfillment. He went through a tough breakup that kind of was the catalyst for him to improve his health and nutrition.
He stopped his binge eating and just got his life together. And these are all things that that we've all heard at some point or another know to be true, but just kind of fleshing it out from his perspective and kind of going back and forth as to how we each as individuals, but then also recommend people find their sense of purpose and stillness and clarity. I think it's good to hear. So I'm excited for the
conversation. Without further delay, sit back, relax, enjoy the podcast with Dylan and we are live. Dylan, how are you Sir? Very well, thank you. How are you? I'm great. I'm great. Where where are you calling in from right now? I'm curious. Lee in Borneo in Malaysia, Malaysia. Very nice, very nice.
So we got connected via e-mail. I believe one of your team members reached out to me pitching you as a guest on the podcast, and you have definitely figured out the Instagram algorithm and drawn a ton of momentum there. You're motivating people. You're inspiring people in the health and fitness space. I'd love to kind of just dive a little bit deeper into what got you in the space to begin with, man. I mean, you're you're a fitness
model by trade, correct? So I got into into working out and into growing sort of posts on Insta through initially my life, my personal life blowing up. And I had to find a way to re channel all the things that my personal life blowing up a breakup triggered. And there's a couple of ways you can go with things going wrong in life and one is to go down the route of destruction, drinking, drugs etcetera, etcetera.
Or you can choose take the energy from all those emotions that are triggered by. Not great things happening in your life into other things and I chose to re channel it into working out and then channelling and talking about my emotions and my cope mechanisms that I was using to deal with my emotions, sort of writing about them. And expressing them through photography, videography, and writing. And then engaging with other posts and other feeds that were of interest to me.
And I found that interesting. And I found that engaging for myself. It helped me connecting with different people, people who were aligned to the things that I was interested in. And that gains again, as I say, more exposure. People I would. I would post their stuff. They would post my stuff then. Again by accident, I had a couple of articles written about me which then increase exposure further.
I love it. I feel like the we all go through dips and valleys in life, but when you're able to channel that into some form of positive, you know, outlet like training and proper nutrition, all the good comes from it.
Would you mind kind of fleshing that dark time out a little bit more, like when you were going through that break up when you were at the the lowest point, did you like immediately know that you needed to have a positive outlet there or was there some lag time in in in finding then? So that's really interesting that you cut to the chase and you talk about dark points. And I think talking about dark points, analysing dark points is really key and really important.
So I talk about that on my on my socials, the Dark Side or like the Dark. Moments and the dark thoughts, because they're really key to like, not be afraid of because that's where the gold is found. That's what the treasure is. That's where you'll really find out a lot about yourself. And so to your so we're on the same wavelength, bandit, which is awesome. So in that, in the moment of breakup, I definitely had an epiphany in the moment of separation that she wanted me to like.
Lose it. And I knew that that's what I wasn't going to do. So she wanted she wanted you to fall. She had some malicious intent there. Without a doubt, and for whatever reason, that that dawned on me in the moment, literally in the moment, in the physical moment of leaving my house, our house, to going to my parents. I knew that that's that she would want me to act badly, behave badly, and I wasn't going to do that.
So that was the first epiphany, as it were, because I realised at that point that that was not going to be helpful to me and I wasn't going to lose. I wasn't just going to give away my life through being triggered or my buttons pushed by someone else. That's key, man, I feel. Like, I've been diving a lot into Stoicism and basically not letting things outside your control dictate your destiny, so
to speak. And I feel like when you have people, especially people that you're close to like your spouse or significant other, if they I mean you obviously want them to be in your corner on your team. But if that's not the case, I would imagine stripping away the negativity from someone that close to you has got to be hard, even if you are practised stoic and things are outside your control. Oh, it's it's gut wrenching. It's tough. There's categorically no two ways about running from that,
those facts. It absolutely is. But to your point about sterism, it's how you. Responds to a situation. That's key. And that's the only thing that we can really control, our thoughts and our response. You would hope that the one that you love, or the ones that love you or your best friends or your bosses or whoever it might be, are on your side.
But if they are not, where we go wrong, I think, and where society goes wrong, I think is. Is that we sort of put expectations on those people who we think are meant to be in our corner to do the right things by us. But what I mean they don't. We lose it or we get upset or we get angry, but really what we should be doing is learning how to respond to situations. If the people who we think are in our corner all of a sudden do things that.
Aren't good for us, or helpful to us or nice to us, because invariably at some points somebody will do something that upsets us. So the key is not to hang our code on expecting everyone else to do right by us. Really what we should be doing is learning how to respond to situations if they're not the way that we want them to be.
And the start of that is understanding that we actually have in our power the control to manage our thoughts and to choose what we think and to choose how we respond. Totally agree. Is there any particular, like people hear these things, they know them to be true. Like, you can say that and we all know it to be the right response, but it's often times it's always easier said than done. So when you were going through this, personally, you left her, she left you, you moved back to
your folks house. Like what did that journey look like? Like, were you diving into specific podcasts or you know books or resources? Like what was the catalyst for you to be able to kind of have a road map as far as how to get through that dark point? Didn't have a road map. I just took every day as it came. I knew that I wasn't going to go
down destructive route. That was a choice in that epiphany, in that moment that I had leaving the place, that I wasn't going to go down to a destructive route because I knew that's what she wanted and I knew that wasn't going to be good for me. It gets me nowhere and it gets you nowhere. Being upset gets you nowhere being frustrated, sad, etcetera. You're going to have these feelings. But to act on them doesn't get
you anywhere. So I had that epiphany and that moment where I was like, I'm not going to go down to the destructive route. I understand those feelings are going to come to me. Instead I'm going to re channel them into just working out. That was my initial first thing. Just be active, be not distracted to the point whereby you're. Ignoring your feelings, I because I didn't do that. In fact, I did the opposite of that. I delved into my feelings.
But I when I was upset, or when I was sad, or when I was frustrated, or when I was anxious or when I was upset, I'd go to the gym. I go work out. And really that was me making an active, conscious decision to do something. And I think being active is really, really key and when it comes to thoughts. Like you say, everyone has read about what I've just said and we all know these things and it's really I use the analogy of eating a chocolate Now I I have a sweet tooth.
I was 27 kilos or nearly 60 lbs heavier than I am today. And I used to binge and chocolate, and it used to be a case of just I was addicted. To well wasn't it so as addicted it was just I used to go without eating thinking I'm on a diet and then I get to 3:00 in the afternoon and be really really tired and need an energy boost and I go and binge on chocolate.
And so now when it comes to those thoughts of a chocolate or having a cake or having something sweet where it's full of sugar, I literally the thought comes to my head right I want a chocolate. I'm craving chocolate. I want something sweet. I'm hungry. I want to crank energy boost and. I can allow that thought to take me over. Or I can tell that thought to go to hell. And the more you tell that thought to go away, literally,
you have to be actively. No, you silence that thought and you have to actively tell that thought actively in your mind, tell that thought to go away. I'm not going to listen to you. I'm not going to listen to you. And then you don't listen to that thought and you. You make that thought quieter and quieter, Quieter and then you put the chocolate down and you don't eat the chocolate. And you do that once and then you do it a second time, 1/3 time it becomes empowering. 4th,
5th, 6th time, 10th time. All of a sudden that that voice that says have that chocolate is very, very far away and the confidence you gain from repeatedly, consistently. Being persistent with ignoring or quieting or telling that thought to go away. The more confident you gained that, oh, I can control myself from not eating the chocolate. And you build your confidence in that realm as you go along.
And then all of a sudden you're not eating chocolates, you're eating an apple or you're eating. Better food or you've started to eat the nutrition plan or the OR that you decided to invest in as opposed to the high calorie fat saturated food that you were eating before you've actively you act. I actively made a decision to write I'm going to be enough a meal prep plan for a bit. I'm going to invest money in that for a bit.
You you're actually doing those things and you're then you're actively working out more and the combination of the two is then showing results. Were you and then any type of training or nutrition protocol prior to the breakup or was all this like a totally new new sensation to your life? I was all I always used to work out but never had proper results. Because I was eating really, really badly, I always thought that working out and being fit
meant just going to the gym. I never really understood nutrition. In fact, my relationship with food over the years has been diabolical. Yeah, I. Feel like really bad. I feel like whenever you introduce something new in the same time frame as something that you're trying to get over, like the break up for for instance, that newness can create some form of excitement that acts as a beneficial
distraction in the short term. But then as you're saying, once you continue to do it for a length of time, it just becomes habitual and then you get the compounding effect of the benefit. But I think definitely introducing something new, like for you bringing in this new dietary plan the moment the breakup occurred or shortly thereafter, like giving you so giving yourself something out of the normal context that you can truly get excited about to distract you from the negatives is key.
Absolutely, Absolutely. I changed Also, the gym that I went to, I was really bored with my gym. I was working out a lot to deal with all these emotions, right? But I was then getting bored of the workouts that I was doing. So I joined a new gym that gave me a whole new environment, a whole new group of people who I was around who were very on point in there. Training like athletes were going to this gym and people who were again, so you back to the question of like Instagram growth.
I was around people again by accident that were in the reality TV show type environment or in the sort of media space or in the modelling space, whatever. And so I was around these types of people who then motivated me further beyond just the aesthetics of looking. Better from being in shape, but because it was an occupational hazard and also actually genuinely were interested in being fit, being healthy. And So what also came from that was the motivations to eat better.
They taught me more about food, they taught me more about what was good for your your diet, what wasn't good for your diet and so I learnt from them. You know, experts in these, in in, in these, in this field. And so then again, also another change the people I was around and that's another big factor who you, who you surround yourself with. The conversation is just different. Yeah. I think one's environmental
factors is absolutely key. If you're surrounded by the negativity, it's just going to be more likely to seep into your life and your thoughts. So just simply change the gym atmosphere, change the people in your inner circle. All that is very much so key when it comes to, you know, changing the environment. A lot of people kind of relapse so to speak and they go back to old habits.
How did you hedge against that so that you, I mean you inherently know the direction you need to be taking, the trajectory you need to follow. Did you have any tendency to relapse and go back into this negative thought pattern? Or were you able just to see the results so profoundly, so quickly that that kind of led to the momentum to keep staying the course? For sure. I had lapses, without a doubt. And we all have lapses. Even the most strong, even the strongest minds would have
lapses, lapses. Even the strongest athletes, even the most, you know, Polish athletes that I was surrounded by have lapses and we all have them. And to think that we won't is is not realistic the key. Is to be aware of that. When you get into those moments when you are in those lows, to know that you're in that low, you become aware of it. And because you've created through consistency, through persistence, through discipline habits, you become aware of difference between that low
point and that low moment and. Not being in that moment and you know the difference, and actually lapsing back into those moments should be almost used to your benefit, because it allows you to differentiate between a low and a high such that when you're in the low, you know it, you become aware of it, you embrace it. Then you tell it to go away.
Yeah. I was listening to interesting podcast the other day about dopamine and when you're experiencing a high, and I'm assuming the same is probably true in reverse when you're experiencing a low. But when people are at the apex of the pinnacle of something they've accomplished and they have this massive rush of dopamine, they feel like they're on top of the world and
unstoppable. They spend so much time, energy and focus on celebrating that high that once it's over they have a a physiological dopamine crash. But then that often times results in a psychological depressive low because they don't have that thing that's driving them anymore. And one of the recommendations through this podcast was to celebrate that win. Be conscious of it, but don't put it on such a pinnacle in such a zenith that it becomes a catalyst for you to experience a
deeper low. So basically just congratulate yourself, but do so in a very, you know, mindful manner. And I would assume the same is true in reverse with those lows, not to put them on the same pinnacle. Absolutely correct. Absolutely correct. I think the key is to elevate the low. And I guess in some ways, bring down the unrealistic high so that you get to a more consistent median that you can
sustain more consistently. Yeah, I think, you know, energy, excitement, feeling down, like all these things are cyclical in nature and we all experience them to some degree. So not, I think, just simply being aware of that fact. I mean, one can't realistically expect to always be on a high or
hopefully always be on a low. People certainly don't get depressed and they seem to be stuck in a a through they can't break free of. But I think if you were objective in one's own life and recognize that these things are cyclical in nature, that you are going to have highs and lows. And just to embrace those and try to lean on habits first and
foremost. Like if you have good habits, like I always tell people, if I feel like the entire world around me is falling down, but I've at least got consistency with my nutrition and my training, that can be the foothold that I use to climb out of whatever hell I find myself in. But if I didn't have those two things, then I would likely fall apart.
So I think regardless of what those strongholds are, everybody needs to have something that they're having control over, that they can use to pull themselves out of whatever depths they find themselves in. Absolutely agree with that. I absolutely agree. When I find myself either anxious or not in a great place so I don't feel good about
stuff, I go straight to the gym. I hit the gym, that's my way to my thing whereby whereby I can go and ALM myself, ALM my mind and I fully agree with that and everyone needs to work out what their thing is and. I couldn't agree more with that. But also I think it's important. And one one thing that I found or a big thing that I found helpful to me is, is understanding. And there's lots of lots of things online and in socials about this as well.
And it's about energy, and it's about the fact that everything is energy. Whether it's anger, frustration, sadness, happiness, joy, it's all energy, right? And our emotions trigger energies one way or the other, and it's our decision as to how to use that energy. So I can I can for example. Be really angry about something that someone has done to me and I can shout back at them and use my energy that way, or I can choose something different and
and understanding. Be aware where the fact that it's our choice on how to respond is key. There's this really amazing story in Buddhism that my mother taught me or told me like when I was a kid and I just sort of. Brushed it off but it's this and I think the Lord Buddha. And this isn't a religious thing, this is just a story. Back in the day when the Lord Buddha was practicing Buddhism and teaching his teachings, he was gaining more and more people
following him. I I call him the the original Instagram or the manual Instagrammer? He was, he was as he was teaching his following at teaching his, his what he had learned from reaching Nirvana, he was gaining more and more people from the incumbent religion to come and join and practice what he was teaching. So becoming Buddhist versus the incumbent religion.
And back in the day, in that time there were the people in the incumbent religion were getting, some of them were really angry about the fact that this Lord Buddha was taking all these people. He's not taking these people. He wasn't taking anyone. These people were just following him because they were liking what he was teaching. And some people in the incumbent religion not really angry about this. And so one day, Lord Woodard was under the Bow Tree, meditating as he always did.
And this young man comes rushing up to him and screaming, angry, furious at at Lord Buddha. Like screaming at him saying he's a fraud, he's a, he's a, he's a criminal, he's a liar, He's all these negative back screaming at Lord Buddha. Lord Buddha is obviously there, meditating. He opens his eyes and he asks the young man if you were to give me a present. And I don't accept it. Who does the president belong to?
And the young man like confused at this most ridiculous question because like he's screaming a little bit the saying you're a fraud, you're criminal, you're this, you're that completely, well, I guess, I guess the president's mine and Nordic says the same with your anger. Yeah, I like that. And so and so it's our decision on how we respond. Lord Buddha could have angrily responded back and if he had, the young man would be triggering and controlling how
Lord Buddha acted. Instead, he re channelled. What the young man was trying to trigger in him and controlled how he responded the way he wanted to. And back to your point about lots of different emotions, it's important to embrace sadness, anger, depression. We all had these low points. That's. That's part of human life, but I think what's important for us to understand is to be aware that we can decide through our thoughts and through our minds how we allow those thoughts and
emotions to manifest. And that's to understanding that all of those thoughts and emotions are energy, and it's up to us to decide how we want to use that energy. Yeah, I completely agree. I mean, there's so many things that come at us, especially since the Internet and social media, like we're just inundated with different triggers, different inputs. And it's very, very easy to kind of let those initial emotions take hold and overrule objective
thought and reason. And one thing that I've been really trying to incorporate is having like a dedicated time every single day where I journal gratefully and then pray. But then also just after I finish training for the day before, I allow myself to do anything else, really. I just breathe. Let myself return to a parasympathetic state and focus on the here and now. And what that has allowed me to do, as simple as that sounds, has been absolutely transformative.
Like, I don't feel like a reactionary state towards anything that comes my way in a negative way. Like I I'm able to just take things in and then be objective with how I respond to them and respond with reason and rationale. And you're absolutely right. We don't have control over every input that comes into our lives, but we have 100% control over our response to those inputs. And you could respond negatively, positively.
You can respond with a cool head or a hot head, and how you respond often times dictates the final outcome. So you you owe it to yourself and others to respond in a cool, calm and collected state with reason or otherwise.
You're just barking up the wrong tree. 100% I I fully agree with everything you said there, there, and and critically what you said about living in this moment and drawing yourself back to this very moment, the very moment that we're in, because that is a really powerful way to bring your thoughts back from. Distant shores, Bad shores, Choppy waters, bad thoughts and letting and and and if your mind is running away, it's a really powerful way to move away from from those dark moments and
thoughts living and. Being grateful for this moment here and now is a really, really powerful tool And again to your point, it's a really simple way to re centre yourself and that's another big big big point is that to keep things simple and that is another. Another thing that I think a lot of people misunderstand about how to help themselves is that actually the very simple, straightforward things can be
the most powerful. And to your point about bringing yourself back to this moment, to the very present moment is a really powerful, simple way to calm, calm oneself if they're off. In a bad place? Yeah, totally, completely agree. I feel like that it's interesting that we're recording this podcast. I I just finished a 33 week competition prep for five different bodybuilding shows in which I drop my body fat down to
3% and was very little calories. And it's interesting because towards the end of that, I mean, I just simply did not have the physical ability to, you know, be functioning at an incredibly high rate. So like, taking these moments of stillness and tranquility kind of became a necessity to go throughout the day. Now that that is over and that mental weight has lifted, it would be very easy for me to just kind of go back to normal and allow myself to feel rushed
and hurried throughout the day. But I've tried to lean on the same habits that were paving my way to success throughout the prep and taking those, you know, planned moments of silence and solitude and do that now that the show is over so that I don't lose that, you know, just that that transformational, I guess perspective that has come from that. And I feel like that that is key.
Like when things are going bad, it is easier to fixate on what you know has to be done and take those moments and just like pray and meditate and whatnot. But like a lot of people, when things are going good, they pay that no mind, no attention. It's not on the forefront of their thoughts.
But I think making it a a really intentional effort about keeping that as a constant in your life, whether you are in a high or a low, is paramount because that's going to keep those waters smoothed out regardless of what's going on in your life. Yep, absolutely. Absolutely critical. There's no two ways about that. I couldn't agree more. So on that note, do you have, like you know now that that breakup is is history, You no longer have the disordered
binging on chocolates? Like, do you have like a daily practice or routine that you've incorporated in your life and maintain that you just don't deviate from in order to stay on the straight and narrow? Well, I think that it's it's, I allow myself to be flexible one way or the other. I will work out one way or the other. I will make sure that I eat the right food.
And I think that another thing that I think is something that scares, I think a lot of people is like, you know, the thought that you have to be military like. Position on point as if you're in some sort of boot camp type effort where you cannot deviate from the line in one second and I think that that for one minute I think that type of thought, process or vision of what it is to eat well, work out. Have consistency. Be disciplined.
Always. It almost like scares people into thinking, Oh my God, this is going to be a horrendous ordeal to have to like, go through, to get, to get, to get in shape. So I allow myself to be flexible, you know, it's not like I have to be in the gym.
At 6:00 in the morning, every single morning or six in the evening, if I have to be in in a little bit later or if I have to go in during the day or I'll be flexible with things, you know, But I'll just make sure that one way or the other I will. I will go. And that comes through through having created good habits, because there are days I do not want to go to the gym. There are days I have no
interest. In fact, a few weeks ago there was like a period of like 3 weeks where I was like, I just don't want to go, but I just went because it was a habit that I created as part of my routine that that's where I go almost like. A creature and a nocturnal creature in the jungle or something, they just naturally go to their cave, or they naturally go to get food, or they naturally go to, I don't know, make their nest.
It's just something that if you overtime create good habits, working out or eating well just becomes part of your routine and that. It becomes something that you just do, like brushing your teeth when you wake up in the morning, like getting in your car or getting on the bus or getting on the train and go to work or having your lunch. Those aren't things that you think about doing, they're just automatically things that you do.
And so in terms of routine and in terms of plan, it's more a case of creating good habits. For my daily, weekly, monthly routines that I do as par for the course, that is more important than saying, right, I'm going to schedule 5:00 in the morning, I'm going to wake up, I'm going to go for a run. Because life doesn't always work like that, right?
Life ebbs and comes in, ebbs and flows, and sometimes this happens, or that happens and so. I think being a little bit flexible with that approach is important. So long as you've created good habits in your routine over a period of time, and you make working out, you make eating well part of your routine, you will just naturally deviate to them. Yeah, I totally agree.
I don't know the exact quote, but one of my favorite words to live by, so to speak, is, you know, we all have these ambitions, these lofty ambitions. We all would like to look better, look leaner, be healthier. But we don't rise to the level of our ambitions, We fall to the level of our systems. And having those habits in place is crucial. And I think it's important that the habits that we have are ones
that we truly enjoy. You may not enjoy them initially, if you were coming from a place of not having a healthy relationship with food or a background in training, the idea of being active or eating cleaner may seem daunting and as a negative. But once you get to the point where you truly enjoy the outcomes of those healthy habits, more so than you enjoy the temporary high that comes from deviating from them, it becomes much easier to maintain.
And if you have these systems in place that you can always fall back on, the likelihood that you will continue to trend in the right direction over time is significantly amplified. So like I try to dissect my day on a regular basis to figure out what day-to-day tasks I'm doing that are contributing to my overall betterment or demise. And anything that is not serving me well, I try and intentionally remove.
And I think you know like we again we all know that to be true, but we have a hard time putting it into action. I mean so many people and I'm guilty of this. Like one of the things that I've I just recognized yesterday that I do as a habit that is not good is check my e-mail on my phone if I'm out of the office. Like if I'm at my computer in the office, I'll I'll typically just look at my e-mail at structured times. But if I'm out and about, I'm looking at my e-mail on my phone.
And that just constantly acts as a distraction for the present moment. And social media is is, you know, very guilty of that. Like people, if they took an analysis of their day, they would be blown away at where they spend their time. And where they spend their time is what makes up their habits. Yep, 100 percent, 100% agree. I I I think your point about having systems in place and they were the things that were my coping mechanisms.
To Get Me Out of low points and dark places for you to be able to things, systems to be able to lean on that are part of your routine, part of your habits are really, really key and figuring out what they are for you is is different for each person and that's what's key and once an individual. Learns what's right for them, works out what's right for them, and it's a process to be able to do that.
Then putting those in place becomes far more natural, as opposed to doing something that somebody else wants. And that's another big, big point, right? It's it's figuring out what's right for you, what aligns with you, what you really want. Because again, to your point. What? What are you doing?
What you're doing is what you're doing getting you to where you want do. And that comes down to whether what you want is overridingly more important to you than doing things that aren't getting you to that point.
And if you truly have set an ambition for yourself that you actually do what that actually does align with you, does actually does engage you, you will every single time choose the thing that puts you in the direction of where you want to go as opposed to not going to the gym as opposed to eating that chocolate as opposed to going out and getting wasted. You will always choose a thing that switch you further closer to that thing that you want because that's actually what you
overridingly want. So what you want has to overwhelm me, overwhelm what you the distractions. And so people ask me like, well, how do you find that? Like, yeah, I don't know what that is. I'm like, you do know what it is, because we all know what we like. We all know what we want. We just have to ask ourselves quieter my mind, I tell people, go go to a quiet room on your own, calm your mind, close your eyes and ask yourself, what do I want?
And the things that come to mind are those things that you actually want, that actually align with you. Write them down, start to explore them, Start to do things that you that that are to do with those subject matters. And as you go along you'll do more and more things in that vein and you get to the point whereby you you find what you really want to do. That is your overall undying ambition. I think people know what they want, They just don't follow through with them.
And that's and that's really and it to your point where where you have these overriding huge ambitions, they're too big. When they're this, like, I want to lose 100 lbs. It's like, Oh my God, that's like ridiculous. You just have to break it all the way down to little bits. And if it's really what you want, if you really ask yourself what you want and you write that down and you then take steps to small steps each day to get yourself to that big ambition,
that big goal. At the end, you will find yourself doing more of what you want as opposed to more of what is a distraction. I completely agree. I feel like the distractions that we all face in life become
much more. Prominent when we don't have a clear vision of what our purpose and intentionality for the day is. And I feel like so many people don't give them theirs, give themselves the time to fine tune what that purpose is. Like so many people are going through life right now without a driving factor that gives them a sense of purpose. Like I like waking up and going to work every day, 'cause I know what I'm working towards. And that didn't come to me instantly.
I had to seek that out. But. Like you said, when if you give yourself that stillness and actually sit with yourself in your thoughts, you gain much more clarity as to what that desire is. And hopefully that desire is something bigger than oneself. Because if it's just self-centered, you're not likely going to have the staying power to stick with it. But when you're actually contributing to something that's working towards the betterment of humanity.
And the world around you, it becomes much easier to adhere to it and if it is a lofty goal and you can finesse out and tease out the the day-to-day actions that lead to finding success towards them. It becomes very clear what is and is not necessary in reaching that goal and it becomes much easier to remove the distractions that aren't contributing towards it. So few people allow themselves to be present in their thoughts because.
I don't know if it's because they lack confidence in themselves or they're seeking somebody else's input, but simply having the confidence to be alone in your thoughts and actually tease out what those thoughts are and what they mean and how they impact your day-to-day is crucial, Absolutely. I think one of the big reasons why people don't find their purpose and are distracted from their purpose is because they are overwhelmed by what society
says they should be doing. They are are over consumed of what society and their friends and their family and their bosses and their work people and what the TV says and what social media says is is what one should be striving towards having and being, which is different from what a person may want. If society says the goal should be you need to go to school. Get straight A's, go to Ivy League, go and walk on Wall Street, Go and get married, go and have kids, have your kids in
private school. Go on big holidays, shop in the most amazing shops, have all the big brands. If if you're working towards that grocery list of criteria that society says parts of society says are what you should be achieving. When those things aren't actually what you want, you become consumed with the wrong things and you lose your way from what your purpose is.
And then people forget themselves because they're too worried about trying to achieve things that the neighbours and society tells them they should be doing because they want to fit in, as opposed to doing what they actually want, what that what actually aligns with them. And this is where all the problems come from. Because of anxiety, of depression, of anger, of sadness, of jealousy of all
these negatives come from them. The disalignment that a person will feel from chasing the things that they are taught to chase, as opposed to figuring out what they actually want and what their likes and interests and engagement and purpose actually is. How do you toe the line between not being ignorant to the world around you, but then also not allowing the world around you and societies to subject you to its demands and interests? Like like the news for instance.
Do you spend much time watching the news? Does that create a net negative or positive in your life? So just to be clear, I was bully traded by what society told me I should be. I talk about this on my socials as well. Fully. I have to go to school, get straight A's, go to university, work on Wall Street, do this, do that etcetera, etcetera.
All these things fully brainwashed by that until this break up occurred and I started to reflect, think about things and understand well, I'm part of the reason why that broke up occurred because I went into something with someone who I knew there were red flags, but I ignored them because I was too hell bent on being in that relationship. Because that's what society and all my friends and everyone said
I should be doing. Because that meant that I would then fit into what everyone else was doing as well and then then I would be accepted and loved etcetera, etcetera. Right. So I've been in the place whereby I was fully throwing the line to what society tells me I should do. I was fully throwing the line into, you know, everything out on the news. And, you know, I think that the pandemic, for example, really brought to my mind how much nonsense there is out there that
we are fed from news channels. And that actually made me think. I've got to know that it's out there, but then discern for myself what I think is right and what is wrong. I know myself, I'm not a bad person. I'm here to do the right things for people. My intentions are absolutely positive and to help others. I might doesn't mean I always make the right decision, but I know my intentions are absolutely pure in that regard.
And so I have to see all that information out there, all the information that I am presented with. And because I've realized the difference between buying into what society tells me, because I realized and see what we were fed through the pandemic. A lot of lot of it was nonsense. Some of it was, was, was, you know, you know, COVID-19 exists. It does kill people who had underlying issues. But a lot of the stuff, that other stuff that we were told
was total garbage. I now I'm more discerning on how much of the news I'm taking in as real. I'm making my own opinion on those not just being blindly, arrogantly dismissive of the news and news channels because I
do listen to them. Absolutely, Because you need to know what's going on, but you need to just be discerning as to what you're taking in so that you have more of a balanced view as to what's going on. Yeah, I think the the more the more time you spend alone in your thoughts and being objective towards reality, the better you become at discerning
what is not reality. And I feel like, yeah, there is a lot of people out there with ulterior motives that are there to try and sway you one way or the other. And it's so critical for us to not be swayed so easily. I mean, you have to be able to think for yourself. You have to be able to have common sense, critical thinking skills. And so much of that comes for just simply with just simply, you know, looking at the world around you in a present state and being objective in that.
And I feel like if you're just constantly rushing from one thing to the next, allowing distractions to take hold and allowing anxiety to seep in, you can't possibly capitalize on that objective present. You know, sensation. So yeah, I could not agree with you more man being more discerning with the the news and information that we're innovative with this key and then having structured times to intentionally remove yourself from it.
Like if you can't make an action that will reflect an outcome of that information coming in, then how important is that information to come in in that instant if that is not serving you well or if you cannot? Impact it in any form or fashion, for good or bad? Then it's probably not an incredibly high priority for you to consume it in the 1st place.
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And it takes, it's the skill to be able to become, to be able to like become to be able to petite information that comes in and information that comes in that you don't understand, don't figure, go and research about it. Go and figure it out. Go and go and find out what's going on and go and understand and understand the facts and you know you'll go and do that if
it's important enough for you. But I think that you're absolutely correct in saying it's it's key to develop the skill set to become critical, not critical in a in a in a negative sense, but to be able to critique, to be able to discern, to be able to make your own opinion. And that's again something that we are taught not to necessarily
have, right. We're taught to just go along with what the conveyor belt of of what we're fed to be the case, as opposed to actually thinking for ourselves. OK, well, what do I think about this? What I think about how this should work? What do I think about what's just happened? What do I think about how things should be? What do I think about? You know, what's my own thought on this as opposed to just accepting what you're told?
Yeah, 100 percent, 100%. Well, let me put you in the hot seat here, Dylan. What? What is it that is driving you to get out of bed in the mornings currently? What is your purpose at the moment and what is a distraction that you have in your life that you knowingly are allowing to, you know, remove some of that for momentum that you know you need the correct course on? I'm super interested in impacting other people's lives
for the positive. I'm super interested in helping people become the best version of themselves, whatever that version might be. It might not be anything like me, but it's more about helping an individual be the best version of what they are, whatever that might be their own uniqueness. I'm super piper interested in that the amount of feedback I I've had from my social over the years and I and I said, as I said to you, my social media, my my Instagram is a total accident.
I was never allowed on social media before my prior relationship. She didn't want me on Instagram or Facebook or you know, or any of these types of things. It was a total accident and it became a channel for me to be able to express myself, from which I got a lot of positive feedback on more how did you do this or how did you do this? Or, you know, I was at the gym just now actually and one of the guys there was like, you know, you're, I want to do what you're
doing. I'm like, well you can, you just have to decide and take steps to work towards that goal. And so my drive every morning is to is to work towards that. Now how does that actually physically look like? Well, actually I'm, I'm actually super excited about the fact that I'm I'm about to launch a new website that is going to have an AI function on it that allows people to to ask any questions to the talks I talk about.
And it will have quite a bespoke functionality, AI functionality that that filters from all of my written work to give them a response to help people wherever they may be, whatever time zone to, I don't know from for inspo or motivation or whatever it might be. And so that is a channel whereby a first level channel as it were that I want to work towards building to ultimately as I say, help people help themselves. That is super interesting to me. That is super engaging.
Additionally, like being out in Asia, I was spent quite a bit of time in Bali as well and and and learning and seeing a whole what I call new economy of digital nomads and people earning money online, whether it be online PTS or people on, you know Amazon or running their own businesses or entrepreneurs.
It's a real sort of energy and vibe as they say in what I call a new economy, an economy that is different from the traditional economy of let's just say Wall Street or banking or or accountancy or any of the traditional forms that we are, are you know beyond end all to to to work in.
And so in in that sense, sort of reinvention into creating a platform whereby it's not just an Instagram account, for example, but goes way beyond that to give people the ability to tailor asking questions that can help them in a more bespoke manner. I think that I think leveraging modern day technology, but then doing so in a way that brings people back to these fundamental core truths like we've talked about is definitely bridging the gap in a positive way.
So those are all super exciting things ahead for sure. I really like the idea of having so that people can go onto your new site. And then just pull back from any of the the written word or content that you've put out there because you are definitely reaching a massive audience. I mean you've got a huge Instagram profile and it's seems to be growing on a regular basis. What what do you find as a distraction from this in your
current life? Like do you have any notable distractions that is, you know, keeping you from moving forward
on this or no? There's there's nothing like well I I think ultimately it's the day job you know at some at some point I mean I I definitely want this to be something that is again it's it's it's the platform isn't about me it genuinely isn't and I know so many I've had so many people come out you're not you're you're a narcissist you're like a self-centered you're this but I'm like it's this isn't about me. Yes fine I like nice pictures of me on on my socials who doesn't right.
But that's not the goal. The goal actually people look back in some of my posts, but I talk about my transformation is to show the difference. We've seen what was and what is, but more importantly how you continue that. And so the biggest that's that's something that is the big goal, right, to to have something that's bigger than just way bigger than just me. I don't see my platforms is about me. I see them really about about
helping others. So that's the goal that I want it to become a full time thing and that's what I'm building towards. I love it. I love it and and on a day-to-day basis what's in my way. The only thing that ever is in my way actually is me. Yeah, that's powerful stuff, man. I completely agree. I think leveraging, leveraging your reach on social, getting people to come to truth with this or come to grips with this truth and reality. That's awesome, man.
I'm excited for what the future holds for sure. And I think, you know, kind of going back to what you were saying about intentionality, like you know what your intentions are. People may come at you and say, hey, look, you're a narcissist. All you got on your profile is pictures of you without a shirt on and stuff. But like, you know what's driving you, you know in your inner in yourself, What's your intentionality behind?
It all is. And if you can be at peace with that, then who cares what the haters are saying, right? And that's exactly, absolutely on point. I know what my intention is, and it's not about the shallowness of aesthetics. Again, I I want to be in the I'm trying to be the best version of me and I know my intentions are about helping others see that it's possible to lose 60 lbs and maintain it and continues to evolve and understand that it is
an ongoing day-to-day effort. You're absolutely right that those are mine says like I have so many haters come to me. I'm like, OK, I know where I'm coming from. I know what it is like. It's like, it's like the analogy really is like, if you lie about something, a liar for example, when they're caught out, they will start to feel anxious, They will start to feel bad. They will. They know when they're caught out versus someone who's telling
the truth, they're at peace. Even if it's in a horrible situation, they can still be at peace because they know that they are telling the truth. Versus a liar will be absolutely in a bad space inside themselves, and they know. We know. We each know the truth. We each know our truth. And to your point, if your intention is right and pure and of your purpose, you can brush anything off. You can continue forward
regardless. 100% ma'am. If you know yourself and where you're coming from, you are most certainly empowered and you can be confident in that approach. So. Yeah, we're we're speaking the same language for sure. Man, I'm loving everything you're saying. Likewise, my friend. Likewise. Yes, Sir. Well, Dylan, where do people go to find out more about you, follow you on social and just kind of dive deeper into your world?
So main main Protocol is on Instagram at Dylan Obeya and very, very shortly I'm going to be launching my new website at dylanobeya.com which as I say will. And the second phase will have the AI functionality whereby people can like ask questions and a bespoke Taylor Dancer will come back to them from what was built in that space. So Instagram and. Website Awesome. I will link it to that. Make it easy for people to find
you. I really appreciate the time, Dylan. I mean, everything we've said today is stuff that people have likely heard before. They all know it to be true. But just simply. Kind of like we were in the very beginning, surrounding yourself with the right people and consuming the right content that keeps you in the right frame of mind is key. So for people that have heard this before, simply hearing it again, maybe from a different angle of perspective, I think is
super valuable. So thanks again man. I really appreciate the time. Likewise, I really, really enjoyed this. Well, thank you. And we'll talk soon, man. Take care. Take care. Thank you very much.