If you were married for 13 years and your husband never gave you orgasms, and then when you told him this, he lied and claimed that he was never coming either, would you stay married to him? Would you really? A gay man worries that he might be freysexual. He loses sexual interest once he gets to know his partners well. Is there a cure for it? On the Magnum, in a new “What You Got?” Dan interviews Camilla Cenni, a sex researcher who makes a convincing case that monkeys use objects as sex toys. An...
Sep 13, 2022•56 min•Ep. 829
A straight man in his 40s can only come if his lady is so, so, very wet. Is this a kink? Also, as he and his partners are aging, the likelihood of his finding a woman who can accommodate him diminishes. What can he do to ensure middle aged orgasms for all? A man’s husband has a lush, silky beard. Other men just need to touch it! The caller hates this, and wishes they would leave his husband’s pretty chin alone. How can he learn to politely rebuff their advances? On the Magnum, a woman struggles ...
Sep 06, 2022•52 min•Ep. 828
A woman’s fiancé wants her to ride him. She’s game but feels self-conscious because she’s big and has some body issues. He loves her body just as it is. How can she embrace her inner big cowgirl? A woman is dating a few men casually. Some of these guys do bondage and impact play leaving the evidence on her body, which she really loves. But when she shows up with marks from another man, some of her lovers get angry in a way that feels unsafe to her. How can she resolve this? On the Magnum, did yo...
Aug 30, 2022•54 min•Ep. 827
A tantric tease gave his buddy a long, erotic, boner-ifying massage which the caller describes as the best non-penetrative sex he has had…ever. But the dude is in a monogamous relationship, and because there was no penetration, never considered it cheating. Now the caller is panting with lust and wants more. A woman’s friend was dating a guy who claimed to be a recovering sex addict. But the caller discovered that he was concurrently dating another woman, telling both of them that they were his ...
Aug 23, 2022•56 min•Ep. 826
A polyamorous trilingual woman wants to explore dirty talk. Her lovers all speak different languages. But she finds that when she’s talking dirty in her mother tongue it sounds and feels more aggressive than she would like. Any multi-lingual dirty talkers out there with wisdom to share? A bi woman and her man used to go to co-ed bathhouses. Once covid hit, they stopped. Now that there’s monkeypox to consider, should they stay out of this bathhouse? Or can they still go if they only play with eac...
Aug 16, 2022•58 min•Ep. 825
A man is about to have his wedding. He and his fiancé are swingers, and he wants the whole wide world to know it. His fiancé is more reticent to let family members know. Should he tell his children that they will be staying at a swinger’s resort after the ceremony and that they plan to bang a couple of their wedding guests? Monkey pox isn’t going anywhere folks. Dan brings back Dr. Carleton Thomas to talk about the vaccine, and how to communicate about it better. On the Magnum, Dan brings back c...
Aug 09, 2022•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 824
So many bi and adventurous queer men this week! A 61 year-old gay man has never, ever, ever been near a vagina since he emerged from one 6 decades ago…until now. He is seeing a trans man and finds he is loving pleasing him, but can’t quite make penetration work. And, another gay man had a great time with a trans man. So much so, that he wants to start seeing cis women. Is he ethically obliged to tell them that he has been gay all his life? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Zachary Zane, aka BOYSLUT ...
Aug 02, 2022•50 min•Ep. 823
We’re putting out a special extra show for you all. It is becoming clear that monkeypox is spreading quickly through the gay community, and that the national response has been disorganized and unclear in its messaging. Dan spoke with Dr. Carlton Thomas, a gastroenterologist, who has been treating gay men, and attests to how painful this disease can be. The two talk about the disease, dispel some myths, and discuss the danger of anonymous, multi-partnered sex right now. Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064...
Jul 27, 2022•47 min
My boyfriend is TOO HOT! A woman is dating a very gorgeous man. The ladies come running when they walk into the bar, and some of them get nasty. At first the caller found this an exciting turn-on. But now she just feels jealous and demoralized. How can she turn the jealousy into arousal? A woman was perusing porn, and saw a man she is convinced is her ex. It’s been six years, and they parted amicably. She thinks it’s great that he’s doing this, but she feels compelled to let him know she saw it....
Jul 26, 2022•1 hr•Ep. 822
A bisexual woman came out to her conservative mother, and amazingly, she didn’t flip out. But she did beg the caller to keep it secret from the rest of the family. Mommy thinks there should be white pride parades. The caller’s girlfriend is Black. What could go wrong? A transman likes violent sex, almost crossing the line from consensual non-consent into rape. His wife worries that he will resent her for objecting. Therapy for all! On the Magnum, anxious polyamorists rejoice! Our guest this week...
Jul 19, 2022•54 min•Ep. 821
A bi man in an open relationship is disgusted by sweat- his lover’s and his own. How can he mitigate his revulsion? A macho, macho man wants to know why he (or anyone) is into hot wifing. Dan breaks it down and spells it out. On the Magnum, a man with cerebral palsy doesn’t have use of his hands, and cannot masturbate. Even worse, he lives in a small town, so sex workers are hard to find. Dan chats with disability awareness consultant Andrew Gurza, about sex with disability, and a special sex to...
Jul 12, 2022•53 min•Ep. 820
Look out, it’s a nibbler! A woman hates the way her new boyfriend kisses her. He nibbles on her lips even though she tells him to knock it off. Is this a worthy reason to dump him? A married gay man and his husband are newly polyamorous. But the caller wants absolutely nothing to do with his husband’s boyfriend. The boyfriend keeps making friendly overtures, like inviting the caller to parties. Can the caller maintain a social wall keeping invaders out? Should he? On the Magnum, learn a thing or...
Jul 05, 2022•52 min•Ep. 819
A gay Irishman had a terribly unpleasant experience, when the man he was screwing twerked and gyrated until it felt like his dick was about to fall off. Is this a thing that’s happening? Or only on the Emerald Isle? A singer is worried that rough oral sex could harm her vocal cords. But she shouldn’t worry because Dan somehow roped in Jamie Barton, a very delightful mezzo-soprano opera singer to offer her professional reassurance. On the Magnum, Dan chats with former ugly duckling, current total...
Jun 28, 2022•57 min•Ep. 818
Kissing?! Blecchhh! A 33 year old woman is a bit of a late bloomer. She has just started dating, and likes to have sex. But the kissing? It disgusts her. Her shrink told her she just hasn’t met the right guy. But she knows better. She doesn’t like to kiss and that’s that. How can she tell her fellas this? A bi woman is into daddy dom/little girl play. But she was incensed to see a warning on Porn Hub comparing her harmless kink to child pornography. Porn Hub is riddled with far darker stuff. Why...
Jun 21, 2022•53 min•Ep. 817
Believe it or not, a straight male dom is struggling with how to be selfish in bed. As a dom, he learned to please his sub and obtain consent every step of the way. But his current girlfriend wants him to do whatever he wants. He just doesn’t know what that is… A mother overheard her daughter’s friend say she was bi. The mother wanted to pounce and avow her support and acceptance, but she said nothing. Should she say something super-nice next time? On the Magnum, Dan chats with kindred spirit Ry...
Jun 14, 2022•54 min•Ep. 816
A woman has been with her boyfriend for one year. She knew he was into cam girls from the beginning of the relationship. But lately he watches cam girls all the time- even when they are having sex. Now that he is choosing cam girls over the caller, she’s beginning to wonder if there might be... a problem. A man is coming to the end of his 9-year relationship with his girlfriend. But she is about to have surgery on her leg, and will need a lot of help. Is this a terrible time to break up? Can he ...
Jun 07, 2022•54 min•Ep. 815
A bi man in a monogamous heterosexual marriage keeps having his sexuality questioned by gay friends. It’s super annoying! Should he even bring up his bisexuality? Should he feel miffed? A woman with a newish boyfriend wants to try some consensual non-consent. Specifically, she wants to be woken from a deep sleep to him having sex with her. He readily agreed saying he would also like to be woken up mid-blow job. But how do they negotiate this ahead of time? When he’s sleeping so peacefully, she l...
May 31, 2022•55 min•Ep. 814
A trans man used to be an escort before his transition. Now that he is hornier than ever on testosterone, he wants to try sleeping with gay men. But in his escorting days he would disassociate to get through the sessions. How can he learn to be more present in bed with cis men? A woman has started dating an older man. In sharing their secrets, he confided that he likes to cross-dress. She’s game to indulge him, but what does she need to know about it? In these dark times there is only one man wh...
May 24, 2022•59 min•Ep. 813
An Australian woman in her mid 20s fondly remembers the intimate online relationship she had throughout high school. She thought he was 20, and though they never met in person, they would chat well into the early hours every night. Recently, she became curious about what became of him. She learned that he was in fact 35 at the time, with a wife and kids. When she confronted him, he was self-pitying in his defense. This relationship was good for her at the time. But the lie is galling, and if he ...
May 17, 2022•53 min•Ep. 812
“Help! I’m trapped with my very nice in-laws! “ An introverted woman loves her husband’s family dearly. But when they all descend on her house and stay for weeks with their kids and their dinners and their constant togetherness, she loses her mind. How can she carve out a little alone time without offending the herd? A lesbian connected with a super-hottie bisexual. They planned to hook up, but the hottie asked if they could get some video or pics and show to her boyfriend to turn him on/make hi...
May 10, 2022•54 min•Ep. 811
A man is excited to marry his beloved fiancé. But he harbors a corrosive secret. Early in their relationship he went to massage parlors for happy endings. He’s done with all that now, and feels terribly ashamed. But should he tell her? Does he owe her the truth? Can she handle the truth? Can he handle a lifelong secret? A woman used to have bad sex in her youth, with lots of unrequited blow jobs. Now that she’s with an attentive, loving boyfriend, she would like to give him toe-curling oral sex....
May 03, 2022•52 min•Ep. 810
A gay man discovered that his friend had a nude photo of him on his phone. The caller had asked him to take the picture so he could edit it and send it to someone. But the friend kept the pic for himself and sent it to other people without the caller’s knowledge or consent. So. Can they still be friends? How bad is this? A queer woman has been on 2 dates with a gal, and they are getting along really well. The caller did a deep internet search and discovered that her date is in fact trans. Not on...
Apr 26, 2022•1 hr•Ep. 809
Mazel tov, you’re a new daddy! And by “daddy” we mean a queer, dirty-talkin’, older dom. A newly single bi man in his 40s suddenly finds himself with a bevy of young men who want him to play this role, and he doesn’t know where to begin. More semen please! A man wants to know if the various foods and supplements that promise to increase semen volume really work. On the Magnum, you should have seen the Tech-Savvy At-Risk Youth™ scurry around when we found out that Anna Sale was coming on the show...
Apr 19, 2022•54 min•Ep. 808
A woman discovered that her boyfriend cheated on her. How did she know? He washed his own sheets for the first time EVER. When confronted, (after lying at first,) he said that men need variety and monogamy is unnatural. Is this correct? A man and his husband now live apart because one of them didn’t want to live in the cold, dark, rainy Pacific Northwest. But they still love and miss each other so much. The caller feels like his house is a museum of their love, with objects everywhere to remind ...
Apr 12, 2022•57 min•Ep. 807
A woman and her husband are getting into group sex. The catch? She’s newly pregnant. Should she disclose this to participants? 4 years ago, soon after a woman got together with her boyfriend, in a fit of paranoia, he checked to see if she was indeed doing what she said she would be doing with some friends. When she found out about this, she confronted him and he apologized. He’s never done anything like this since and their relationship is good. Still. Should she dump him for this past transgres...
Apr 05, 2022•52 min•Ep. 806
Strap in (or on) for a wild ride folks, because this is the April Fool’s Day show. We asked you to send in fake calls and you came through in a big way. It is Dan Savage’s challenge to spot the phonies. A woman wonders how to help her friend dispose of his unwanted sex doll. Can he just take it to the dump? A man and his wife both got Fitbits. But now, when they have sex, they both immediately check them to see how they did from a fitness perspective! Some kinks explored on this show: globes, bo...
Mar 29, 2022•56 min•Ep. 805
A woman with teenaged kids has started seeing a man she’s known for a decade. It’s a dom/sub relationship, where she is the dom. Part of their arrangement is that she gets to date other people and he does not. She has always been transparent and open with her kids, but she hasn’t told them about this new relationship. Should she? A man has decided he never wants to bring kids into the world. But he’s eager to adopt and have a family. How and when can he explain this on his dating profiles? On th...
Mar 22, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 804
Gather round listeners, and hear the gruesome tale of a spit roasting mishap. A Ukrainian queer woman living in Canada is horrified and heartbroken that her Russian grandmother is not only homophobic, but pro-Putin as well. How do you maintain a relationship with such a person? On the Magnum, Dan chats with his old enemy, reformed Republican strategist Tim Miller from The Bulwark about Florida’s reprehensible “Don’t Say Gay “ bill. And finally! Dan offers THE definition of sex. voicemail@savagel...
Mar 15, 2022•56 min•Ep. 803
A man matched with a woman in an ethical non-monogamous relationship. She proposed they meet at a lifestyle club. He had never heard of lifestyle clubs before and wonders if this is an elaborate scam to boost the club’s membership. Is this on the up and up? A man started seeing a new woman, and it’s time to share his kinks. He is into cross-dressing. (Ho hum.) And wearing maxi pads. (Oh my!) How can he tell her this without scaring her off? Speaking of scaring people off…our What You Got is extr...
Mar 08, 2022•56 min•Ep. 802
It’s pretty much the nightmare scenario. Her new boyfriend gave her a digital picture frame. She mischievously sent him a nude, not knowing that it would post to a whole network of his friends, including his conservative Evangelical Christian mother. She hasn’t met his mother yet. When the day comes, how can she look her in the eye? A brave woman has taken up being a Dom to men she meets online. They come to her house and the fun begins. But she hates the awkward chit-chat at the beginning, befo...
Mar 01, 2022•56 min•Ep. 801
