Warning, the following program is not for the weak hearted, those who are close minded or in general you're scared to learn what's behind closed doors. Here at Sapphires Airplay. I want you to pour the wine, grab somebody that you want to hold on to, or better yet, get the vibration stimulated through your body. Get ready for one hell of an orgasm in 54321. What is up on my sexy motherfuckers out there in Radioland?
It's your girl Sapphire, back at it again just in time for Valentine's Day. You know it's the annual Fuck Your Valentine's Day special and I am so excited for this one because I have the CEO of Desert Harvest, Heather Florio in the house. For past 30 years, her company has pioneered research back sexual Wellness products from pH Balance, aloe lubricants, skin repair creams and pelvic therapy wands. Y'all, this is, it's the episode for you, especially if you're wondering why does it hurt so
damn much during sites. If I didn't ask for the pain and pleasure mix. Well, Heather Florio is here to help. Let's bring him the Roddy Froude Boys of Sapphires Airplay to bring you all in. Thank you so much, Heather, for your time being here. Thank you for having me. Yes, so I I mean when I saw this pitch about painful sex and you out of all people, you know, being a woman who's backed up desert harvest one, I love the fact that it's a woman LED. It seems like a woman LED brand,
which is great. And I really love the fact that it seems like you are just the go to woman when to talk about vaginousness and all the other possible ways why sex can be so, so painful for women. In fact, when I was doing my own research, I was like, huh, Come to think of it, I've definitely had some moments where sex has been painful. But of course, you know, with a little bit of Lube, a little bit more relaxation, that has always helped. But that's not always the case for every woman.
And I know we're going to probably get into it, So what better wait? What are some of the main causes of why sex can be so damn painful, especially for us ladies? Well, there's so many different reasons why sex can be painful. It can be that you don't fit together, It can be that there you have pelvic floor dysfunction. There are so many other conditions. You mentioned vaginous, ulvidinia, vestibulidinia. There are veronic in which you
might experience oral sex. You can be due to trauma. These can be due to your pelvic floor itself. These can be due to trauma somewhere else in your body. There are so many different reasons why we can experience pain with sex, but what we should realize is pain with sex is not normal. Not need to trudge through it. You don't need to. We need to use our voice and we need to communicate and when things are uncomfortable.
Absolutely. I think that's the most, I mean, that is one of our themes here on Sapphire's earplate is communication. And I always try to tell people that, you know, sometimes it's the conversations that hurt the most that we have to have in relationships in order to go forward. Especially, like you said, how do you even tell your partner like, hey, it's not technically you, It's me. I'm the problem, unfortunately.
And they're probably women right now who are listening, who probably have gone through this whole thing. Like, you know, come to think of it, yeah, sex is a little bit painful. Even just to stick a finger in or, you know, tampons. It hurts. But I don't know why. And so I really want women, especially just all vulva owners to really take this, you know, episode to heart and know that it's not a you thing.
It is a thing there. I mean, hell, there are like 14-15 different reasons why your vagina could possibly be hurting. I mean, even from the most common things, St. DS can make, you know, sex extremely painful. I just had probably one of the worst herpes outbreaks since my diagnosis 6 years ago. 2020 was my first herpes outbreak, genital herpes and I I was I was
good. I mean, not to say that my stress levels haven't been through the roof, but for six years I was able to kind of maintain it until recently. And it was to the point where my left leg just nerve pain endings, my clitoris, you know, here we go.
This is sapphires your place. So it's going to get graphic, y'all, but it looked like somebody cut a chunk of my clip and left the rest on one side and the sores on the left and it was just, it's it was painful to walk, it was painful to just cross my legs, sit down and watch a movie. It was just too painful. And yet. And that that's doesn't stress response. Mm hmm. Mm, hmm. It's crazy. It is crazy how everything can.
Just be connected of the conditions are stress response when you talk about Volvadenia unspecified, you know, ovular vaginal pain like you know you're you're dealing with unspecified pain and a lot of cases can be related to a stress response in your your exogenousness and put in a tampon press response when you have a herpes outbreak and you've already had herpes, you've already been exposed to the infection. And then down the road you get a flare up like that press response.
Stress is such a big piece of this and it goes back to the ideas of Tantra on the Tantra response and and utilizing mantra related practices to be able to calm both your autatomic nervous system. It is up regulated because of the stress. Response. But then also your pelvic floor that is probably like this, you know, I'm not in a dish rag. So, you know, turn so tight that that can be your pelvic floor. And that's called hyperbicity.
And when that happens, you know, everybody thinks, oh, my pelvic floor is in pain, I need to go start my Kegel. Don't do that. Really. Oh yes, so when you are hyper, you have hydroponic pelvic floor and you start doing Kegel exercises, you are making it worse. OK, that's the thing they don't talk about. Let's let's get into that, please. Yes, because everybody, you know, you have this idea that I just need to do my kegels and I'm going to be good. And that's not the case.
You have to learn how to relax your food floor and bring it down into relaxed state. And then once you've got it in a relaxed state, you've got to build it back up. So one of the best ways to do that is you get with a pelvic floor physical therapist. You don't have to stay with them long term, but you can learn your own musculature. You can learn what it feels like and feel yourself and you can feel when your muscles are tense and then you can feel when
they're relax. When then you know then when not relax, then you can hit your cheek exercises and start strengthening your public floor because this is your hammock, ladies. Like this is this is holding your bladder, your uterus, all of your organs. Here it is, your hammock holding everything in and you need to make sure that hammock is strong, especially before you're engaging in and, and I mean technically, sex itself is a problem for exercise when we're orgasming.
Think about it, you're tightening up and then you're relaxing down. Exactly. Oh gosh, ladies, are y'all listening? Fellas, are you listening? I'm so glad because again, everybody talks about kegels, but we don't talk about the pelvic floor exercise. Or they try to say, oh, doing your kegels coincides with pelvic floor exercise. I'm like, no, that doesn't make sense. Pelvis, vagina, vagina muscles, the pelvic muscles. So yeah, I might be having the great.
I, I, I know that my pelvic floor muscles can sometimes be weakened and that's because I'm a couch potato. I'm a couch potato and I need to stop doing that. I need to start getting up more and walk and like getting up and walking. So for somebody, you know, like myself, who may have more time on their hands, what are the best ways, you know, in affordable ways, especially
because everything costs money. Now, how can we, you know, cheat the system but also take care of our our bodies the cheap way? Not yet. So one of the best things you can do is is there are easy things that you can do at home and then there there's more technical things. OK, so one of the best things that you could do with yourself or with a partner, with or without penetrative sex is go into your your area, whatever that might be, the area that relaxes you, your bedroom, whatever.
Like that mood experience all the senses, whether it's touch and you have to spell sheets, you've got put on mute mood music that makes you feel good. And then maybe also, you know, initiate and put some candles for said, you know, things that ignite your senses and then lay down on your bed. And if you're doing this, partner, you both lay down on the bed by face, side by side. You do not touch completely naked. All right. And then you, you at a timer, look down your cell phone for 20
minutes. And then what you do is you begin touching yourself. Touch yourself in your breast, touch your stomach, touch your thighs. Learn all of the different parts of your body really and gay which little good to you. close your eyes and and pull that area. You can literally grab the top of your mom's pubis, the top part of of that volvular area, and we can literally grab it, hold it, see it sensations, grab the sides, your labia, you know, and and your your majora and
your minora. You can grab both Hold on to it, feel it, touch it. You don't need to go for your clitoris right now. You don't need to go for your, your, you know that vagina. You don't need to insert anything in there. Just feel yourself and then slowly begin to build up by touching your clitoris either with your fingers or with something like a bullet and and create that sensation going to build yourself up and then stop and go back to feeling your body, feeling other part.
And then so you want to bring yourself up and then you want to back off and then start feeling your body. You continually do this back and forth. Don't get yourself to orgasm level. You start to feel that. And one of the things that you can do when you start to get to that level, back off and you do something called Ocean brief. So this is a a practice in which you can literally like release your entire body, do that over and over again. Like that, right?
Yes, that deep diaphragmatic breathing and then release it. That deep, deep breathing, bring all the air down and then just release it and that will calm down that that that autotomic nervous. Just keep doing that. Hide yourself that build yourself back up ocean, breathe back down and and keep doing this for 20 minutes.
And then once that timer goes off, then whether it's with yourself and that bullet, whether you feel that you can have penetrated sex and feel comfortable at that part, maybe you and your partner finish each other off, but not with penetrated sex. You know, there's all different ways you can do this, but this is an easy way in which one, you're engaging with your own body 1st and then you can engage with another body or you can just finish and engage with
yourself. But at the same time, when you're finishing, you're going up tightening and responding and calming down. And and so you're, you're creating a relaxing response for your body that might allow penetration at that point or might lead to other ways in which you can you can fish. I like that because you're not only just giving another way for couples or just, you know, individuals to enjoy self pleasure.
Something that especially as a black woman, here it is Black History Month. Let's get into it. Black women a lot of times feel a lot of shame touching themselves or you know, having the need to have a partner finish them off. Nothing irks me more than talking to my girls and they're like, I don't understand the point of masturbation if it's just myself. And I'm like, what do you mean? Like it's the whole get in there and then it's like what? I'm done. I'm like, I'm good. Yes.
Don't you feel good? Relaxed, You know, you feel like you can conquer the world. You don't have to kick somebody out of your bed. You just got to toss the batteries that the batteries are dead, you know, clean it up. I'm like, what do you mean? And you know, there's this whole taboo of like, in order to have sex, I got to have someone finish me off. And it's like sometimes the finishing is not as satisfying as the build up. Sometimes I like to say even with penetrative sex we
shouldn't. But we focus so much on the coming and then the actual, like being together, sometimes even like edging each other off, you know, start it a little playful, have a nice session, then go finish each other off later on in the day, building that tension up and keeping that tension throughout the day until you're ready to release. I love that. The fact that you even brought up Tantra. I love Tantra sex.
I want to get back into Tantra sex now that I'm in this new like newlywed trying to have babies kind of thing. I'm like, I kind of want to revisit, you know, touching and the sensation of non penetrative sex and getting to the finish line. I want that that tension. So I really love that you brought that up. Now, do you deal with black clients often who come to you with any of these problems? And if so, you know, let's talk about it. Yeah, definitely.
Especially for black women historically and in society, in in the American Society, they've been hypersexualized from beyond that, that that we are very sexual beings, that black women just love to have sex. They're hypersexual. That's not the case. And and so we have to in in society, even today and in mass culture, sell shows very
hypersexualized black women. And as a result, it needs especially, I feel like black women and historically and research data, it shows that more risky behaviors, less likely to speak up, less likely to engage with girls bodies feeling that they're but also at the same time feeling like you need to meet a need of someone else. That need is your own and you coming together with a partner, it's an experience that you can choose to have.
You have no requirements to everybody else, anybody else when it comes to sex. The only person you have a requirement to is yourself and that is the most important thing to remember. Like I will tell you if you can do this 20 minute thing with a partner and you do choose to engage and and finish off with penetrative sex, it will be the most orgasmic experience you've might of your entire life.
I will tell you that right now. But at the same time, an experience with yourself is called self-care. And and there's nothing wrong with self-care. We don't need to think about masturbation in terms of, yeah, do I love to orgasm with my husband more than anything else? Yes. That is the experience that you know, when you talk about your friend being like, I don't need to masturbate, you know, I get all the sex I need. Well, that has nothing to do with the sex that we're getting
with a partner. This masturbation is about self-care and understanding your body, engaging with your body and then and then coming together with a partner that you feel a level of the comfort and trust. We've all though have a one in hand and 1:00, but that doesn't have anything new with when you choose to engage with a partner and maybe have a higher level and that is what turbines that is what even things like there's Ishta yoga. You've got a thing Tantra, yes. So Tantra is yoga.
And so we're going into breath work, we're going into exercises, we're going into the one we think of Tantra. Ishta Yoga incorporates Hoffa and Tantra and it's a very relaxing, it's not like legs curling. It's a hot groom and hot yoga and try to be the best and push ourselves as far as we can. Ishta yoga is about a slow engagement with your own body and it experiences tantric practices at the same time. So you can do the things where you're running the line by chakra through meditation.
And at the same time you're what you're doing is you're engaging the vagus nerve in your body that runs up and down to your roots to your vagina. So you're, you're connected, connecting from here to down. And, and so when you think about engaging with your chakras, you're engaging with your vagus nerve, you're engaging with your body, you're calming that that atomic nervous response system so that when you do get to that orgasm, it's going to be explosive.
I'm, I'm about to add that to my list, like Tantra Ishta, that's it. We're going to do it. Like boom, boom. My husband and I, he's like, we got to start getting fit. If we're going to have babies, we got to start getting fit. My thing is I need to get off the damn couch now. I need to get some Ishta yoga in my, in my life. Like I'm about to YouTube that and see who's got who's got the best tutorials on there. So Alan Finger and Sarah Finger are the founders of Ishta Yoga
versus 50 something years ago. Sarah Finger has videos on YouTube 30-40 minutes do it at home. You don't even have to go to a class. She has online further online content that can be utilized. So there there are in her base at New York, Florida. So literally you can, you can, there are ish to classes within and you're in the New York City area, There's a whole studio
within the city. But if not, you can engage online and have these experiences where you begin engaging with your body and slow movements that are, that are strengthening your body from head to toe and at the same time learning to calm that vagus nerve and that atomic nervous response. And the the the calmer you are here and the more in control you are here, the more in control
you are down there. I am so glad that you brought that up because again, we talk about orgasms and the achieving, achieving that orgasm, but also, you know, being attracted to who the body is and all these things are mental and we never think about how mental sex can be. I always like to be, I'm a sapiosexual first and foremost. It's like got to penetrate my mind first, then penetrate my body.
And it's very true. You got to put yourself in that mental state sometimes to even just be in the sexual, you know, aura of yourself. So I'm so glad that you're saying everything is connected because it is. You know, earlier I was talking about my herpes. It's like that stressor. Those things are on my mind. It's connected to the spine going down towards my genitalia. There we go. That's where that nerve center is starting to be broken. Something's broken down there.
We're going to have a triggered response. You said, you know, with vaginismus, the tightening of those muscles, you know, the unable, you know, to even put the smallest thing. That's that mental block right there. That's that physical block, you know, even when we talk about ovarian cysts and fibroids, I didn't realize how much fibroids and the the cysts of the ovarian, ovarian cysts can be so painful. I've had ovarian cysts, but fibroids.
I know that something as a black woman, I, I need to be more intuitive because I know that we are some of the highest recipients for, you know, these fibroids. So with those how do we, I mean now we're getting more internal in. So what are some signs of relief for like, how do we, how do we deal? How do we maintain? And that becomes a little bit more difficult when you get into uterine fibroids, ovarian cysts,
endometriosis, angiomyosis. Majority of the time you can have enjoyable sex and and even menopausal symptoms, which you know, black women and women of color are going to it's actually shown in clinical research they are going to experience more strength and earlier onset things like that. And so understand half your body and they might have times, especially around our menstrual cycle. We know that this is built around, you know, our hormones
and around our menstrual cycle. There's probably a chance in hell you're going to want to have sex or even think about sex or talk about sex. Are you, are you just like were you in my my diary this week? Because I am having literally the worst period right now. I am on like day three and I want to kill myself. It has been so bad and yet I was like ridiculously horny, you know, the two nights before had
great sex afterwards. Now it's like I can't even I don't even want to think about penetration because it hurts so much. And now even that you said that I'm noticing putting tampons as of lately. I don't know what it is. Tampons are now hurting me a little bit more and it's not like as easy to push in. So I'm wondering do I, I do I have something maybe going on or is it just because with the period, does that happen like sometimes with flow, can that also 'cause that that blockage?
Yes. So usually, you know, especially when you're experiencing A chronic pain state that is heightened as the result of menstruation, you're, you're, you know, you think about it when something feel doesn't feel good and you're just tight and that's happening to your pelvic floor at the same time. And this is just kind of the plan. One of those responses.
It's really hard when you're in that moment and you're not being should do a lot to even feel comfortable, to be able to meditate, be able to feel comfortable. We have to do a lot more research, be able to address these conditions. We don't know crap. And most of the time they're going to come in there and they're going to be like, well, we can talk about the birth control or we can talk about it just directly and, or have an ablation and then two years later, you know, six months
later, have it all back. And we have very little tools in the toolbox for these conditions that affect women because we have not researched for over 100 years behind in women's healthcare research. We have a lot of work for you. And unfortunately we've lot, a lot lost a lot of our research funding in in the past year or so that was working towards
options for these conditions. So we have a lot of work to do and there there isn't really much when you're in that moment, you know, there were there were you know, there are people that will sell you things and do things and there are all these supplements that say that will do supplement manufacturer myself. No, I'm glad that you said that because anytime people are like, well, I got the cure for herpes, you know, you got to take the what is it, the doctor Umar
pills? I'm like, no, no, no, you start mumbling. Dr. Umar, I'm going to tell you to fuck off right now because no, all right. They're still exactly, exactly there are there are ingredients that we know can can affect different parts of our body in different ways. We know that if you take a lysine, it could potentially calm the stress response that causes herpes and help lessen the cycle of the herpes outbreak. But it's not going to have a big
major difference. Maybe taking a long term will lessen your outbreak, but it's not going to do anything when you're actively in an outbreak and feeling miserable. And and it's no longer going to cure your herpes. And you know, when we talk about menopause symptoms, it's not maka maka and yams. They lessen some of your your nights a little bit something like that or hot flashes. It's it's it's not going to have an overwhelming fun and it's not going to make some big massive difference.
So just realize that we're just very limited and you're miserable and you're looking for options. The armor not a lot sense related to this. You can definitely when you are feeling good though, you should be working on relaxing and it's great being out the floor because when you do get to those, you know, episodes, the word administration is really heavily affecting a thing.
You know you have made yourself stronger from when you get there and and know that all the times outside of that are the better times to engage with sexual intercourse and looking you don't mean nobody needs no man needs to go earn their Red Wings and have anything to produce to anybody. OK, you you too was good for you. And and in those times, if you have endometriosis, angiomyosis, uterine fibroids, PCOS, you've got cysts on your ovaries.
Those are not good, good times to have sex and and they're very limited options and also know that lubrication, let's talk lubricate. Let's let's talk about Lube. I I love to talk about Lube this like Lube is literally one of my favorite topics and I love it and I'm loving that you are already like, because that was going to be my next question because again, your products, that's what you got. So let's let's talk about lubing it out.
Yes, because here's the thing, ladies, if you're having sex with a partner, penetrative sex and you're not making less lubrication, there is nothing wrong with you. That is just the response in your body. It doesn't mean you're not having good sex with your partner. You don't love your partner, you don't want to engage with your partner. It is just naturally how our bodies work and they and our bodies are only going to produce so much lubrication and every
woman is different. But you have no to little bad to say, Hey, I might use glue. This might be coming. This might be coming too much. Hey, I'm not in it for America. You know, it's it's not about how long, it's about the quality not wanting thank. You. Oh, my gosh, Sometimes some of the best sex is the quick ones. I mean, I used to say exactly. I used to say like, I couldn't master the art of quickies, But then when I started to realize I could put, you know, some art into it.
Yeah, yeah, mastering the art of a quickie can be beautiful. What's not beautiful is not having Lube on deck and you know you're spitting in my pussy, which is an absolute no no. Stop spitting in the vagina, in the butt. I just. Like your bacteria today? Yes, like please, we're already swapping so many germs as it is. I don't want, you know, your leftover burger going into my vagina or into my booty. I don't want that.
I don't want that. No, and let's let's talk about the two different locations because they also require different types of Lube. So very important. So not all lubes are made the same when it comes to a vaginal lubricant. I will tell you that there are only two in the world. Yes, mine is one of them that are actually meant to go into a vagina and that is because we focus so much on pH when we talk about pH. Yes, the vagina is an acidic Biome.
You need acidic products and your tissues are unhealthy. That acidic product might burn, but because you micro tears other things like that, it doesn't matter if your tissues are unhealthy, it's going to be uncomfortable no matter what you put down. But understand that you need an igloo, but then second to that you need an ISO osmolar, so and. I was going to say ISO, ISO molar, you said. ISO Osmolar. ISO osmolar, now this. Now this is not the same as water based I'm assuming.
So water based just talks about the different types of lubes that are out there. So we have like a silicone based which is pH neutral. It has no water, it has no osmolality. It is it is very inert. The only problem with it for the vaginal bio is, is that it's chemicals and we're putting chemicals in our body and we don't know the long term extent of that.
But on that, when we talk about water based lubes, which are a majority of the lubes that we have out there and that we really, you know, should be utilizing, But our vaginal wall epithelial cell layer Varvagina. When you use a Lube that is hyper or high O osmolar, too high or too low on the osmolality scale, your cells begin to dry out your vaginal wall, your epithelial cells, and they literally fall out. What? Yes. So you've just lost your barrier protection.
Get STI's bacteria, fungus, take your pick. And and the only study that has been done in regards to osmolality was by the World Health Organization in 2016 for third country, third world country sex workers. They wanted to figure out how to reach the instance of the best guys and how they could make them in safer because and they found that in they tested. I will name names, but let's just say they're the majority of the ones you get in the stores, especially the big box stores. Oh.
And it's probably one of the brands that I absolutely tell people, don't ever bring it to the bedroom. Don't bring it to my bedroom. Get rid of them now. Get rid of them now. Yes, and because every lubricant in the United States is required to be a medical device, and so as part of being a medical device, they have to learn their osmolality. So just tell you 290 is the ideal vaginal osmolality for being the World Health Organization. You only want to be ±80 point on
that scale away from that. So how do you, how can you measure that? Like if someone were to say like, I want to check that out on myself, how can we? How can we know? We have no test the test. So what we need is, is we need transparency from the lubricant
company. You should be able to go up on there and look up their osmolality number back to that conversation about those ones that are in the big box scores when the World Health Organization did their study on lubricants 2010 thousand 9000. I mean, and then we've got ones way low at like 80 things like that that are hypolossible. So we're we're completely destroying our vaginal lion a lot of the times. So Libra Kent.
So just to give you an idea, Desert harvest aloe glide with regard Libra Kent is three O 8. So that is that a deal Range is OK. There we go. And is it like, you know, some people like to say, well, aloe is a little bit too sticky for me. Is it a sticky base or is it, you know, relatively fair? It's relatively anything becomes sticky at a point you can feel
kind of that tackiness. But what it should do is like for instance, with the desert harvest aloe blight, it's going to go down through the layers of tissue and help you make your own richer. It's going to soothe those tissues. Think about when you put aloe Vera on a sunburn. It's going to be anti-inflammatory analgesics. It's going to help moisturize those tissue foods. You have micro tears, you know help with, you know, skin regeneration and things micro
tears and it is uncomfortable. You can get past that point by making your tissues healthy, but understand that if your dryness and your unhealthy tissues are related to menopause, you can keep adding moisture. That's going to make a difference in the shorter term, but in the long term, the only thing that's going to make a difference is hormone replacement therapy. Interesting.
Now if we're going into play, because with we, if we're going to talk about lubes, we got to talk about condoms and and mixing in the both of those. I've noticed over the years there's only one particular brand of condoms that I do not break out on and it doesn't cause a lot of friction and that's the skin condoms. I can't use the big branded condoms like Trojan Trojan, I break out on Durex, can't use those. Also doesn't match well with my pH but also causes breakouts believe it or not.
And those are supposed to be the non latex ones even. But you know, when we talk about condoms and Lube, those are also 2 dangerous combinations that could be for our vagina. Do you agree on that? Because like you said, the friction of the burning and I've noticed if you don't have the right Lube, you're going to break down that condom and the the concentrates on the condom itself. So then the condoms ineffective. So have that at Miss Florio.
And so that's where realistically, yes, there are a lot of materials, the substrates that we're using, we're using petroleum based, you know, condoms and things like that. I'll tell you right now, no, no research has been done on that and then on the toxicology or the effects that that has on a woman's microbiome, vaginal microbiome. But The thing is, is that there are products unique that give us a different sense of empowerment.
Whether you know, we're we're good to look at Eva would have we're going to look at there are actually female condoms. Yes. That that you can utilize. You can put in before you even get to that and and find out what works for you. Personally for me with the female condoms, I always say I feel like I'm fucking a trash bag just because just the way that they sound like, if any, like, I don't know, somebody's got to agree with me because I'm
like, I, I'm. So I remember the first few times I tried it and then I tried it with a female, I was like, OK, now I'm curious. Let me see how lesbian sex with a female condom will work. And I just kept hearing this noise. I'm like, is there a trash bag or is there is there some plastic around? She's like, no, it's me. I said oh God, like never again. Never to be put out of a scene again. No more female condoms for Sapphire?
Like no. And it's it's, it's really hard because we haven't found a substrate yet that can act as a barrier of protection and still be made of natural material. Maybe that's something I'll and got. Fingers crossed. I'm going to keep you. I'm going to keep tabs on you for that.
Perfect, perfect. But there are there are options but then when we get to let's say the anal microbiome, yes, you should never use anesthetic, vaginal lubricant in your anal Biome. So when I talk about osmolality, it's a part of the issue, but actually. The anal Biome is more sensitive to TH if you put an acidic lubricant in your alkaline in your epithelial cell layer, tedious falls out. It does seem like to dry out.
It's just right out. And so if you're having anal sex again, you could have instantaneously. I know it's it's kind of it's being like, oh, don't we're going to anal sex, but that is weird. It's like silicone. Will you make sense because those are going to be your alkaline glutes. That's the only Lube that can meet the outline of the need of the you know, my bio. There you go guys.
So now you know, and I'm glad that you that we talked about both because again, some people think that the same Lube for the vagina is the same Lube for the buttocks. And it's like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And especially for all my gay boys out there, it's like, you know, there is the anal Lube and you got to get the good anal Lube. I I like to What is it? I think it's called analyze. I think the Lube is called anal. There's that one and gun oil. There's so many.
I use fuck water As for vaginal, which is great. But yeah, yeah, it's like the everything is a science, you guys. And I love that we have Heather on here because again, it's all to a science, sex, mental. You got the sex on the scientific side of sex, the acidity of our our vaginas, of our anuses. I never even thought about that. You know, I always thought about, you know, the protective Jelly that we already have, you
know, already that we produce. But then when you think about it, yeah, you got to have more lubrication. Have to be careful with that lubrication too. So I'm so glad. Yeah, the yeah, the even natural isn't necessarily, but your olive oils, your coconut oils. Get them out. Get rid of them. Destroy your vaginal microbiome. We think they're safe, but they're going to have pH issues. They're going to affect the vaginal microbiome. We can. Natural isn't necessarily the best thing.
It is very important for you to think about what goes into your vagina and nothing should that is not acidic and ISO or smaller, no matter what it is. Now I got to ask you about this latest fad and I I feel like it's not a latest fad, but I feel like it's just becoming up and more people keep asking me the vaginal dabbing, vaginal dabbing. What are our thoughts on that? So I think that yeah, I'm like. Yeah, I because it's like, Oh yeah, no, please.
There is nothing wrong with it. It's it's going into the ideas of pheromones and in attracting pheromones and, and putting that on. I mean, it doesn't hurt anything. It's just, yeah, it's not my thing and it might be somewhat on the thing, but I mean, are are we like going so like animal mating and the right season of and also right? I'm I'm just over here and like more, more and more even just like the sex positive folks that I am in community with and online.
It's just like everybody's now talking about vabbing, vaginal dabbing. And I'm like, I don't know, there's something about sticking my fingers up in my Hua and either licking it for myself for my own pleasure. But then if you're telling me to walk around with the whiff of my pussy on my neck to see if somebody is going to come closer to be like that smells good. I think anybody else besides my husband and maybe my girlfriend, they'll be fine with it.
Everybody else is probably going to be like, girl, what is that smell? Well, and he already secrete the hormones, the pheromones naturally. So you, you, you know, when it, when, when man seems so animalistic and we're like, girl, you know, you're already putting off those hormones. You're already saying, I'm open
for business. And when you know your hormones are activated and you're, you know, you talked about I'm so horny and, and, and engaging, that's you, your hormones are secreting at that point naturally. Why do? Why do you need to dab it on so? I'm like unless if it's going to just like bring out even the the Chanel #5 I have on. I just, I don't know if that's for me. I just don't know. Like. I just there. Are plenty. There are plenty of you know this. This is in research for for
eons. You know, we can go back to Egyptian times and utilizing different scents as pheromone attractors. We don't necessarily have to do it with our own vaginal fluids. There are better, you know, filling options out there that can naturally act as as pheromone attractors that are naturally in both perfumes, colognes, things like that. Exactly. Without having to dab your own vaginal fluids under bowel.
I have to mention I'm like, unless you're going to try to, you know, bottle it in a perfume or you know, like Erykah Badu did it with her own. She had a Badu pussy, which was the incense. And then when a Paltrow followed off with her own goop, you know, candle. And I'm like, listen to each their own. I just know my pussy is my pussy smell is for me and my partners.
It is not for everybody. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And, and sometimes those scents can be aggravated by other conditions and they may not need necessarily the bad scents. If a woman has a, you know, bacterial infection, that's not going to be a tractor. It's going to be a detract. Exactly. So yeah, let you know what? There we go, people. The verdict is vabbing is not for us, just just. There are other ways. And we'll go on that same front steaming when we talk about
vaginal steam. Thank. You. Thank you, I will never forget I did it for radio. Eggs stay away. Stay, Oh my gosh. Stay away from the eggs. Stay away from what is it? Yeah, the Yoni steamer. I I did it and I just said my vagina smells like ramen. I said it just smells like ramen.
Coochie in the room. I did it as a radio bit for like 2 hours with three of my two other hosts and we're just sitting here Like I don't feel a difference other than it's very hot, I'm very sweaty, and I want ramen because it smells like vagina ramen in here. Ramen. Out of all things. Some and and you know they it kills. They talk about it killing bad bacteria, but it's also killing your good bacteria vagina self cleaning. It doesn't need anything to clean it. It doesn't need steaming.
It doesn't need douching, it doesn't need washes. It's naturally self clean. OK, now that you said about the not needing the washing, I sometimes and I had to stop because I feel like it was maybe causing a possible outbreak. But using like the vaginal washes in particular honeypot, they have like a, a vulva wash, if you will. What are you? What are your takes on the vulva washes now? So I, we have one too. It's called aloe rebalance and it's not necessarily anything.
It's only for the vulva. So it's almost like washing your hair, except for washing your hair down there. And, and as long as, again, it's acidic because it is going near your pragmal opening, it is going to be near your, you know, you're, you're using Dove. There are some other products that off the shelves. Those are all awkward. And so those are all going to slowly help degrade your vaginal microbiome just because it's an open hole, ladies.
And, and even if you just, since you're washing your vulva, you're washing a little bit more. So where is no reason, you know, it's, it's almost more about cleaning the hair and having that fence. We've been programmed as a society, You know, when we, when we wash our hair, we think that it needs to suds and it needs to do all this stuff. This is all a chemical reaction and then it's been created. So in the same sense, we feel like we need to wash with something down there besides
toothwater. But and, and like honey pot, like our aloe rebalance, those kind of things. Those are acidic and and so they There's nothing wrong with washing off your vulva, you just don't need to go inside. I'm glad that she's thank you for noting that because I feel like sometimes a lot of ice as women, we get embarrassed. Like, how do we wash down there? You know, it's the Siri question. There's so many products out
there. You know, people are suggesting vaginal washes and suppositories and creams, and there's just so much out there. And yet, like you said earlier, there's not enough research. And I wonder why a certain administration wanted to get rid of all this funding. If we only just learned. If we only were. Just able. To learn. So I'm so glad that you and your products are definitely changing the game out there. And Speaking of, where can
people find your products? So on our website, isdesertharvest.com, they're always welcome to even call us to 800-322-3901. We are happy to talk about our products, explain that they do what they don't do. We're not going to. We're just not going to feed you something to sell you something. We're going to tell you what works, what doesn't work, why you need this, why we don't. I can't wait to check out myself.
I'm going to definitely drop the phone number and the link for this episode so you guys can all get a taste of that desert, that desert. I don't want to say that desert dryness, but you know, I want to, I want people to taste that desert harvest. And so, Heather, where can people get in touch with you as well? So they can definitely check me out on Instagram. HM Florio. I'm always happy to answer questions as well. I actually teach women all over
the world. So I've I've taught the first public and sexual health course for women in Turkey. I've done Peru, although I got arrested now like so I. Hope for good things. I hope for the goodness of good things. Yeah, it was because I was teaching women. I'm sure we'll be here in the US that way soon. I don't know, let's hope not because listen, we need some pioneers like yourself out there. And really, I am just so honored
to have you. And I definitely want to bring you back in the future because I feel like there's so much that we could talk about with our women's bodies and our health. And just to even just talk about just on the surface, the painfulness of sex and that it doesn't have to be painful. I'm so glad that you took time and to educate us a little bit more about our bodies. Aw, thank you for having me. This is this is what I love to do.
And of course, yeah, like you said, I have so much more I'd love to download, so maybe in the future. Absolutely. You're already a certified earbuds. So that's it. We're we're going to keep in touch. I definitely want to bring you in for more future episodes. With that said, everybody remember that safe sex is the best hot sex. You can reach me at Miss Radio Sapphire, that's MSRADIOSAPPHIRE on Instagram and of course Miss Radio sapphire.com. Until the next time, good.
Night. That was the show all you sexy motherfuckers out there, remember to follow at Miss Radio Sapphire and Sapphires Ear Play on Instagram. Want some ear gasms of the past and future? Make sure to follow on Apple Podcast, Spotify, iHeartRadio and all streaming platforms.