Warning, the following program is not for the weak hearted, those who are close minded or in general you're scared to learn what's behind closed doors. Here at Sapphires Airplay. I want you to pour the wine, grab somebody that you want to hold on to, or better yet, get the vibration stimulated through
your body. Get ready for one hell of an orgasm in 54321. What is up on my sexy motherfuckers out there in radioland it's your girl sapphire back at it with another episode of sapphire 0 play now you know how this goes down we got a beautiful lady got a beautiful entity You know they got the entity on their their you know their breasts yes I'm talking about Jason wiggle
wiggle wiggle. Now, if you don't know who this delectable creature is, let me just say urban X nominee, Urban X awards are taking place August 17th. That's for all your urban. I hate the word urban, but you know what I mean. Like it's all your your melanated, yes, the melanated populated, you know, the melanin popular starlets and stars of the adult industry gathering in one place. And hopefully, hopefully they don't pull another BET where they're just pulling left and
right. All these great, you know, awards for black excellence. So celebrating black excellence, None other than Miss Lady Cinder bringing out the frat boys. And let me just tell you, we love it. We love it. They love it, yes. Now let me just tell you guys, there's been some behind it. I never talk about behind the scenes snafus. Lady Cinder and I have been recording or trying to record for the past 45 minutes. I don't know about y'all, but August has shown its asshole. Complete asshole.
No ma'am, That part, that part. So, you know, and if you don't know what we're talking about, CP time, well, you're listening to a black podcast. That means color people's time. We don't show up on time. You say a party starts at 12, they're going to show up at 6:00, OK, You don't show up at 6:00 and. Call that early and call that. Early. You'll be late for your own damn
funeral. OK, if you're showing up at my wedding at the time, I if I'm not ready to come out at my own wedding, y'all just going to have to sit there, Sit there and marinate until I'm ready. That's what it is. But lady center was not sitting in juice is marinating. No, she was ready, I was ready. Coffee ready, ready. Didn't have a hit of weed and then what happens the Internet how to show its asshole but we here now we here.
It showed this whole sphincter, not even the asshole it showed the muscles up in. Asshole, it's like you want some problems. Bitch I got your problems a prolapse Internet man lady center. I feel like you and I just already know each other and yet we have not met in. Person we really are, please. Oh, I won't sue you, girl. I will. I'm going to welcome it all, OK? Listen, I'm gay as hell. You might see me fiance to a man. Listen. Polyamorous. Bisexual. I got it all and I love the
ladies. Omnisexual. Yes. You know, it's kind of like you just sniff your own kind. You're like smells like polyamory. Or the hard. Way you know what? That's, I don't know, it sounds like Urban XI might be tackled by many women. I mean, go go fuck me. I mean, go, go Zombie. Watch. Go go Zombie is going to get my ass for saying that. Yeah, she changed it. We just had her on Airplay. She said she wants to tackle me. I said I welcome it full heartedly.
I'm scared to see her in person. I'm excited. I'm excited. But now I got you, so I got 2. Sweetest, kindest person ever. See, I can't, I can't take it with. There's something about, and let's talk about this because you know, we're just going to get into it all. So lady sender, you're a femdom. You are a sideshow performer. You've only been in this side of the adult entertainment pool for three years. But you, you breathe and live, live all of this.
BDSM is your lifestyle. And now, you know, I love to call out people. It's like people hate call out culture. But I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, it's not calling out. It needs to happen. The rise of, yeah, like the rise of black fandom has been rising. And if you're like, what does this mean? Just go on your Twitter. If you still have Twitter and X, whatever the fuck you want to call it, There's a lot of women out there. They didn't pay their bills.
It's Twitter. There's a lot of women out there that are claiming femdom and I do see it amongst my sisters. And I'm like, OK, what sets you apart? What sets y'all apart as a true femdom? And I got to ask as an OG, somebody who's been living and breathing this lifestyle and, and femdom is not like a new term, but we are now seeing it more than ever, more than ever. What you got to say about it? Well, I'm I'm corrected because there's Finn Dom FINDOM and then there's Fem Dom FEMCOM.
Put some respect on it. So we're seeing a rise of Finn Dom, and that's a whole bunch of cute little bitches with middle fingers being like, yeah, fuck you and no one cares. Like a fandom more often than not is going to have some practical skills they might be interested in. Fandom I'm into it. Like goes into it. Like there's a bunch of us that are into it and everything. But fandom is financial domination.
Fandom is female domination. I'm glad that you said that because I myself, I do find myself getting very confused online because I do see, you know, parts of thin Dom with femdom and then they don't want to collaborate. They're like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, just because I'm demanding a pay pig. No, I'm a femdom.
It's like no, but you're demanding money to be drained from some pathetic soul on the Internet and you're demanding money that's thin Dom. That's just like the only fan creators that are showing pussy to say I'm not a sex worker, you are flashing pussy. I got thoughts. OK, so here we go. I started out as this dungeon that's a legendary dungeon in LA called Sanctuary. There's this one girl. Not going to name her name because fuck the hell, sorry. I had issues with her.
It's fine, but she was really reluctant to call herself a fucking sex worker and kind of look down on any other sex worker. And I'm like, bitch, you're a dumb nature. You're facilitating a motherfucker's nut, OK? You're still a sex worker. There's no answer butts about. It you know, OK, actually I got questions because I've actually and I've been to the sanctuary at least once before it closed down. Now I know that it's resurfacing.
It's still wait wait, which one was someone that just like closed in the reopen? So yes, sanctuary LAX folds. They had their one location right LAX and then they closed for a few months because they were dealing with like, you know, landlord shit, right? And then they moved to El Segundo and I was there right at the end where they're closing. And then while they were closed, which is when I got in the content because I was like, what the fuck am I supposed to do?
I just started working at the Dom and now my gun to disclose and I don't know how to do this shit because I just started working it. And so then I got the content and then section were reopened and everything and like the location is different and I want to go into another junction that I wanted working at in between the the opening and closing of it. But yeah, so you know, yeah, it's, it's just. Yeah, it's, I've heard many different things and this is not to shine on the community.
ABDSMI, do I do openly talk about this as someone who is polyamorous, does dabble in the lifestyle like I do have. As I told you before, I have a Dom, that's my fiance. I have a girlfriend who's also a bit. Maybe we could cope, yeah. I would love that, absolutely would love that. And I know he will be listening to this and he will also be saying I kind of like that he, you know, it's. Oh my God, we will negotiate it and we will work it. Out I love it because I would
love to be double teamed. I think the last and only time I went to LAALAXI think I was suspended. Now I might hear it in church like a no that wasn't that place. But I remember vividly going to a dungeon, only one, because I'm very like, selective of where I play. But I just remember, you know, dungeons are not scary. And I want people to understand, like, dungeons are not a scary thing. It can be a scary thing. Yeah, it can be a scary thing depending upon what you're looking for.
But also, I talk about this a lot and I'm so glad that you joined the show and especially you are based in LA. There's not a lot of us when it comes to fem doming. Again, fem doming, there's not a lot of like places for black folks to feel secure to play in areas. And that's for me, like why Sanctuary LAX and all those like, And it kind of scared me because the most of the time I only know and my my Dom is white.
You know, my fiance is white. I'm in an interracial relationship and I still get these looks from time to time, like, oh, you won't let this white man beat you. It's like, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah. Oh, let's talk about these thoughts because the black BDS scene, BDSM scene in LA, Would you say it's kind of like, OK.
So I'm gonna just say it and I'm gonna say my whole ass chest BDSM is white and Loki high key kind of racist because there is this whole overarching look of BDSM and society and how it has been purported throughout society and the fact of how the culture got started. It's subversive underground. It was white people being able to not be able to do this and they completely forgot that underground subversive nature is
black. It's minority because we were the original underground, unwanted this that other didn't fit in like we the original soul. You could call yourself running away because Oh my God, I like this and I'm so bad because I like it. I'm like my mommy and daddy don't love me anymore. Fuck you. We're the original. We couldn't exist on this earth because nobody wants like fuck you. No. But when you go to a dungeon, there is a particular look. It's black leather, it's latex. It's pale skin.
It's all this. It's blonde hair. It's dark, dark hair. It's red hair. Why exactly? It's like it's the cheerleader who turned you down. It's the principal who was a little too rough on you. It's like the dude of the fedora. It's none of these things are harkening to blackness. And like I said, minorities, Black people in particular are the original subversive culture, subversive nature. We don't fit in.
We are the underground original so to and they won't costly make us feel like we don't fit in. We don't play the part, we don't look the part, we don't know what they know. Or they have this weird way of thinking that just because a piece of chocolate goes into a room full of a sea of white dough that that chocolate chip is theirs. Because there have been times where I feel like I'm on the menu and my ass was not on the menu and that's why I rarely
play in public spaces. So I have to say shout out to you and you know, other black thumb Doms out there who feel comfortable in playing in public amongst white people because. Nobody going to tell me about me but me. Oh oh. Not ever. Oh my goodness. I'm sorry I was not raised to give a fuck about somebody elses opinion on me. Like it's nice if you have an opinion on me, good, bad and different, whatever cool you have that opinion. What's that got to do with me? It's of me.
What the fuck does that to do with me? Like, and I tried very hard to remember that when I get down and shit like that, like oh, so so doesn't like me. It's like, OK, and they didn't like me yesterday, they didn't like me now, but I'm still doing shit. I'm still being neat. So like, the fuck does that have to do with anything? Like I don't care. So I got to remember that from time to time because you know, I mean, you mean shit like shit gets to me.
Like no one wants to be just like like you rather go through like being like, but I can't do that. Like I sound like this. I sound mad aggressive. I sound intense. I am intense to like say or do and people are going to jive with it or not. OK, two things that you said earlier.
You said, you know, the people who walk into these dungeons are your typical cheerleader, the cheerleader that didn't want to fuck you, the nerd that didn't want to fuck you, or we should say the incel like nerd because now that's a thing. That is a look. The Incel. The incel, you know, and the incels that are very like borderline into the race play borderline into racism. That's that's the branding that comes involved. But then also, you just said something now.
And yeah, you do come off as intense, but I like it. You don't come off as intense to a way you're not approachable. I have people tell me I'm not approachable all the time. Like especially when I'm just sitting someplace and I'm just like people tell me I'm a bitch, I'm intimidating. I'm just that other. I'm like, what do you mean I, I. Can't wait to be like tackled by you.
As I said, I think that you it is it is that black alternative look, but it's like, would you say that to a white counterpart? Would you just go up to your white counterpart and be like you look so intense. Let's fuck. No, but they do it to me all the time. For real. For real. Like. I can't tell you how many calls I get where they're just like so like OK, one or two. Would you ever let me be dominant? No, go ask him nothing. Fucking dumb ass bitch.
That stupid ass shit fuck fucking cut your fucking finger off for you to write that shit to me, you fucking dumb ass fucking. And then the other thing is that so like, how much is it the fuck OK? How many other dominatrixes are you asking if you can fuck me? Can, can we please? Can we please talk about that? Like BDSM, yes there's a sexual component in it, but a lot of the times you don't ask a Dom to fuck, you don't ask a Dom that. Fucks up the power dynamic of the whole thing.
Like like close female naked male. Are you going to ask her to fuck the woman? What? No, that's a whole fetish. The woman stays completely clothed, is teasing the man, and he's naked and being completely abdominant. Like you're really going to ask this woman who's completely buttoned the fuck down to fucking where we're going to RIP a hole in the fucking pants too? Like what the fuck stupid head ass game somewhere else. Leave me the fuck?
Alone. And again, as I said this in my conversation with Gogo and with all the sex workers, to be honest, I have yet to have a content creator come on here and argue the fact that if they were showing their genitalia somewhere on a public platform that thrives on sex and they are receiving monetary value for sex, that makes you a sex worker again if you are doing BDSM. Not even that. If you are facilitating someone else's orgasm, you're a sex
worker. If you're arousing someone with the intent of them getting off or having knowing that they're going to have sexual thoughts about what is the fuck you're doing and you're making money off of that, that's sex work. Like, I'm sorry. Would you say?
Those shut up and take it. Would you say even like, and here's the biggest argument I guess you could say is would you say even if you are, you know, in your thumb Dom you're receiving money, Thumb Domness, receiving money, carrying out a non sexual act of BDSM, would you still call yourself a sex worker? Yeah, because they're aroused. Like I'm facilitating your arousal. That's sex work. Like what?
I'm getting paid to turn you on. Just because it's non sexual to someone else, like it's feet or something, that doesn't mean it's not sex. That is sex to that person because that's their thing. And if you have someone who's obsessed with peanut butter and shit and they they get off it and you give them peanut butter, I'm sorry you just became obsessed with them. You saw that person peanut butter and you knew what the fuck it was going to do to them.
It's not like you had no clue what the fuck peanut butter was going to do. They told you, hey, I'll get off the peanut butter and I'm going to think about you sending this to me. So, you know, like, could you hand me this peanut butter? And you're like, yeah, thanks for the money. You're a sex worker. I'm you, you don't have to be a lifelong sex work, but for that
moment you fucking sold to sex. If you guys are not watching my reaction, first of all, you must got to watch it on YouTube and Spotify in order to do this. Anybody that's like I only am able to listen Everybody's like I'm always I'm only allowed to listen. You just got to switch your providers. That's really what it is.
And I feel like now I have to put up these captions because every time someone calls me out when you know what you just did with laying the line out and I'm shaking my head in agreeance. I want people to understand. Like, I'm not saying this because I have no business, OK? You have the business. You have the right to say this. And it's 1000% true. And I really want people to stop shunning sex work.
And not just shunning, but like having such a down thought on it, like just like looking down on it so wholeheartedly that it endangers people in various deeper sectors of it. Because when you make someone who does something minute look like the same as someone who does something intense, then the person who does the more intense aspect doesn't feel safe enough to report anything that happens to them because like, well, I'm
dirty because I do this. And like if something happened to them, then they wouldn't even feel conflict. You don't make someone feel sick. You don't give them any chance to be respected as a human being that happens to have a job that. Is this name? It's not. Your job to judge anybody's job because there is someone that's occupying that job. There's someone that made that job a necessity. So if you're going to look down on anybody, maybe that person.
But I don't think that's the case because like sex work is a means to an end. It cuts out the mess.
Like anyone who goes to like an escort, prostitute, whatever you want to call it, they want that human interaction without the mess of having like, you know, going on a date and doing all this stuff and dealing with the nagging or whatever the fuck they want to call it. They want to cut clean, dry interaction, know what the fuck they're going to go in getting, get that, have a good time, spend their money and then go back to their fucking life and then do it again watching for
Pete as he fit. Same with our if you have this wife that will look at you all crazy because you want to smell her socks, OK, you get to safely go to someone who's not going to judge you for that. But rub those stinky socks all in your face like you sniffle, bury them in their tits like you sniff them way out like, and you're not going to be judged. And you can have that safety and catharsis of indulging in yourself safely with someone who understands you.
Emphasis on that safety, please. Emphasis on the safety, because that's the problem too. We should be safe for both sides, the person going and the person for Friday. Like that's the whole point of this. Everybody gets to indulge in their shit safely. I, I, God, I, I'm just like, I want to hug you so much because you are making so many good points. Like seriously, you are making such good points. And again, the word safety always come to mind for me.
Communication and safety. Anybody who listens to any episode of Sapphire's Ear Play, those are the two biggest things I try to advocate. For and that's how you know you're in the world of BDSM because anybody who's really truly and not a predator in this shit, because there are those raining as fucking decent people that know what the fuck they doing and have big followings and shit even in the loan
anyway. But yeah, so like, there are people perpetrating all sorts of fallacies in this shit and anyone who actually knows what this is about knows communication, consent, safety gives you the freedom to do this shit full body. Like that's why Subs should be held with sub reverence and honor because they're giving themselves over to you mind, body and soul. You guys letting you do what you want to them. They are letting you do that. You can control whatever the
fuck you want. They are letting you do that to them. People think that who the fuck would be doing this? Exactly, and people think that emissives are such a weak thing. It's like, no, as a sub, I'm a sub and I come off as a very big dumb person. I'm like, no, no. I don't I got a topic for you after you did. I will I will tell it to you right now so we don't forget it because please. But the fact that black women aren't allowed to be submissive?
Oh my God. Yes, I have a whole bunch of black female submissive friends and they always get asked if they're a dominant. Would they Dom somebody just because they look that way? One's a trans woman. 1 is just a tall statue as black woman. Like they they're both just tall statue as women. Actually, because of their height and their demeanor and their skin tone, that they're supposed to be dominant. I want to get into this because it's very rare. It's a very weird thing that I
could talk about that. So I want to get into that because it's a very weird thing that I can come onto the platform, say that I'm a sub and people will understand, you know how degrading it is as a black woman that we cannot be seen other than aggressive, strong, dominant, not, and like you said, not every black woman. It's the magical Negro trope that's been reported throughout filming history.
Recording history throughout time like I, we are not allowed to have any weakness, any chink in our armor. If we do, it's supposed to be a building stone to lead to some greater strength. That will happen. Later and it doesn't need to have that to. Be have frailty. I just want to get off like the next person, OK? I'm not trying to cure World Peace with my pussy, though I would love to. I would love my pussy to be able to. It's not my job, you know? I'm just trying to get off and
have a good time. The labor of society is not on your shoulders just inherently because you're black. Thank. You and I hope you know what, Please emphasize on that. It is not our job, Black people. It is not our job to cure any disparity. Anyone else's trauma? I'm sorry. Your trauma is not my fucking business unless I choose to make
it my business. You don't get to throw your fucking trauma at me because you think I'm strong enough to take it. You ask my permission before you do. That shit is a thing in every aspect of life. And it should. Be time people just start venting to you and shit and it's like, whoa, whoa, you don't know where I'm at in my life, where I'm at in my day. Like you don't know what I've gone through. Like can you check and be like, hey, like I got a whole bunch of shit on my head.
Can can I like talk to you for a second? I'll be like, you know what, what is it? Maybe I don't know, but I'll try, you know, but like give somebody the opportunity to be like, yo, I'm strong enough for this. No, I'm not. Like let's like see what they got in them before you just go shit at them. Exactly, and that's why I'm like, we have to learn consent early on and if we learned it more early on in life I think people would be a lot better off. Even if you're not, you know,
into sex. Asexuals know what consent is. Children with the right proper parenting and rearing know what consent means. It starts at the early age where the kid is forced to kiss grandma or hug, you know, Uncle Joe, and they say no, don't push the child to go hug the family member. I have for the longest time have always asked a child, hey can I give you a hug? If they hesitate, hey can I get a thumbs up?
Can I get a high pot? Because that hesitation is a no. They don't have the words to do it comfortably, but that is a no. Exactly. If it's not an enthusiastic fuck yes it's a no thank you. I was always taught and that's the same. I was taught, you know, listen, you don't have to hug everybody. You could say hi and that's it. And if they persist, stranger danger, that's it, stranger danger.
And I think we tend to forget that as we become older and we get involved in, you know, actions like BDSM. And we tend to forget the Dom sub role. Like I said earlier, Subs are always seen as these weak entities in life when exactly we're not that. Again, I'm proud to say that I'm a sub or a switch depending upon who I'm sexually aroused with. But I will say 9 times out of 10, I am very submissive, very submissive in my private life,
in my public life. I always say it like like when it comes to professional shit, the most people who have the money to see us professionally cannot be submissive. In their day-to-day life. They are submissive. They are allowing themselves to be submissive to you because of trust and because they want to relax. They want to get out of themselves for a minute and just have the thoughts taken out of their head. They want to have someone think for them.
They want to have someone be for it, and they're trusting you and entrusting you with that and like giving you a chance to honor them. And you're fucking demeaning it by being like, Oh yeah, you're a bitch. You're it's like, yeah, call them a bitch, but know why the fuck you're doing it. That brings me up into my next. I always say it's like, I want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt, you know, like I don't want to cause you lifelong trauma. Like this is supposed to be fun.
This is cathartic. This is you indulging in your shit. You just feel like a piece of shit just because you jerk off. This is the same shit. It's it's. It's the same shit A. Different. Method. But that's why we had to call out the the little, you know, the people of social media, when you see the fendoms on social media or fendoms, right? They think all it takes is a little shit talking, a little push of the breath. Just being cute and having a middle finger.
It's not that. It's not that. Like you just said, it's supposed to be a healing experience. Healing experience. Yes, some people like a little. I've had people cry after a session and like dude, the first time I had that happen where someone just like and they hugged me and they just like thank you and I, I felt tears. I'm like, it's like, like you don't want to put yourself in the in the head space. Like I'm a therapist. I'm helping you.
I'm sure like no, but like if you're open to the fact that you can help people work through shit, because I don't think BDSM should be used to work through shit. If it happens to happen, cool. Because I think it's unhealthy to be like, I have trauma. I've been abused, I've been this, that and other. I'm going to work through it by being abused. Like that's not healthy. You need to talk to somebody else and work through some shit. But if you happen to find healing through it, that's
powerful. It is you unleashing who you truly are and accepting yourself and realizing your power and your strength and what you can do and what you're capable of and just who the fuck you are and finding your people that understand you. Took the words out of my mouth because literally it is so alarming. It is alarming that the rhetoric that is used constantly in BDSM is that people are fucked up. Black women don't love them themselves. You know, the submissives, they
don't love themselves. If there's all this negative connotation, it's like, no, no, no, no. Have you talked to anybody? And ask them why they participate in such extremities. And even if it's not an extremity to you, it might not be to them. This is the only way that they can heal. And again, emphasis on the fact that yes, your mistress, your goddess, you know your queen, your God, whoever you are submitting yourselves to, they aren't your therapist.
Unless if they have licensed therapist on their business card, they are not your therapist. It is not a therapy. Session listening ear if they allow it. But that's about it, and if they are trying to do that, maybe you need to reconsider your services with. Somebody. Yes, because even like, how do you feel about the hypnotizing of submissives? OK, I, I, I do hypno, I'm real good at it, but like I only do it to people who want it. Like I'm not trying to hypnotize anyone.
Everyone into every little thing. And I very particular about the things that I do the hypnosis on and like how I do it and it's more manifestation than anything else and me playing into what you already want to happen. Can you give us an example? OK, I'm going to want you to look very deeply into my eyes. Listen to my voice and the words that I'm telling you. Put your hand down and pay close attention. What is it you want out of your day? Tell me the first thing that
comes to your mind. What's the first thing you want out of your day? Don't pleasure. Look around, stare into my eyes and tell me what it is you want out of your day. Peace. And pleasure. Then I want you the second we are done, the second you finish every last thing you need to do, I want you to focus entirely on yourself. I want you to do the thing that brings you the most pleasure. And I want you to take an extra 5 minutes, an extra 10 minutes. And I want you to give in to yourself.
And you're going to think of my voice and you're going to think of my eyes haunting you, following you, and you close yours because I am all-encompassing. That's a little bit. I don't know about y'all, but Splooch, OK, No, actually, not going to lie, that was that's never been done to me before. I'm a. 10th person I don't know. I like it like when. I was a kid. Other kids would be like, I'm like, I'm just, I just make eye contact a lot because I was never taught to be like afraid
of eye contact. So I just look at people when I'm talking to them and I'm just like, yo. And I don't break eye contact because I'm not uncomfortable with it. So and other people are. So they think I'm being like intimidating or trying to stare them down. I'm like, no, I'm paying attention to you because you're talking to me. I love that because I do the same thing. It's like if I'm having a conversation with you, I'd rather be looking directly at the source, you know?
That's why I think some people it, it's funny for me now going from radio and going into visuals because I'm such a verbal person. So when I'm looking at you, some people get a little bit uncomfortable because they're like, whoa, what's all this icon? I'm like, would you want me to be watching television and not paying attention? To you Like you. Uh huh. Yeah. No, that was good, right? You can't have a conversation. I'm doing a hypnosis thing and people do get uncomfortable.
I'm like no, no, no, I didn't say take your eyes away from mine. Don't look anywhere else. Don't focus on anything but my voice. Look at my lips, watch me as I feel like everything can still sit in it. Don't let anything that's that's the hypnosis. Act like it's just letting someone not be uncomfortable. Like sit in it. Whatever you're feeling, I'm causing it and you know I'm causing it and you're going to rest in it. I don't know about y'all again, it's intense.
It's an intense interview and I'm loving I'm a. Really intense person. I just have to come to grips with it because I'm loving it in a few months and I used to. Think the double is a lie? I'm really. Go with the flu and I'm like, like, I'm just chill as no chill having ass motherfucker you're ever going to meet. I love. It I'm sorry, I'm chill as like I will go with the flow, but I'm going to ask questions.
I'm going to do like I need to know why I'm going with it and then I'll go with it. Yes, this is going to arbitrarily do some shit like I got questions. I'm going if your questions, if your answers are stupid, I'm going to tell you like, you know, that's really dumb. I don't think I'm going to do that. I'll rock with you, but I ain't doing that like you know so. Boom. So as someone who's carrying out, you know, the orders, how do you take care of yourself?
Like there's always this question of like, how do you take care of the sub aftercare? But what do we do about Dom? How do you self-care after carrying out your intense training? Like honestly, because we were talking about this before, I'm a sadomascus. Like I'm not really a switch because like I used to think that maybe I was a switch and then I used to think I was maybe a service top and stuff because I like, I enjoyed topping, but like it wasn't really my thing and stuff.
And then I met like someone who was like a true masochist and I got to go ham. And I was like, Oh no, I'm just sadistic and I'm really sick and fucked up. And then I learned how to modulate it. And then I started having fun with like, catering to other people's like, you know, wants and like making their fantasies a reality. Because then it's like games I can play, like, OK, how can I do this?
And then still let you be out of yourself and me give you the thoughts, but like, get you what you want. And you know, I just came like a game to me, but like, I forgot where I was going with that. Oh it was talking about the aftercare as a Dom for you. Yeah, Aftercare. Yeah. So being a Sadomascus and everything like when I used to like pick up play like Threshold which is like down street from my house. Probably shouldn't send it anyway.
Everybody's like, I thought. That was like the hardest dungeon I used to play it like I would go do some pickup play. I would top a whole bunch of people and stuff and be like, OK, let's go. Like because I don't submit, but I love pain. Like it's funny to me, like dolls are taught me and be like, yeah, you can't eat them. I'm like, OK, bitch, just do it. Like I've been beating with meat tenderizers. I've been round housekeeping the ass where I've gotten air. Like I've been beating with
needle paddles. Like I got video of it like my butt bloody spirit everywhere. Oh my God. The whole time because it's just cathartic and funny to me and it just feels good. So like if OK, I thought the shit was fucking up again. OK, like like I really do think like what it takes to be a good Dominic to know what a submissive is going through. And so you should at least test
out your toys and shit. And like I'm an extreme case because I'm down to be have shit beating out of me because I think it's funny and it feels good. But like that's what I used to do to combat Dom drop and now I don't really have that and I I don't really get Dom drop as a I recognize right now I probably do, but like I'm still working out how to combat it while doing this because. For people who don't know what I'm. Kind of going to be kind of known.
So I can't really do pick a play at the dungeon anymore because there's just a bunch of people trying to get free sessions out of me. And the first time I I realized that happened to me, like I went to the dungeon with some friends that I used to go with and stuff and I just did to pick a play and I was negotiating with the person and like we stayed in contact and everything because I was doing, you know, routine check insurance on them stuff, you know, just like a few weeks
down the line, something like, hey, yo, you're so good with everything because we were saying some crazy shit and whatever, you know, and they're like, yeah. And like they slipped up and said something and I was just like, wait, you, you know about that? Like the clips and you know who I am like. So they did their research. They're like, yeah, no, I didn't know. I was like, oh, I was like, did
I just get taken on there? I'm like, I kind of, I'm not kind of used like yo, like so rather than just like, you know, I'm good at what I do. And rather than just book me, you saw me there and decided to act like you didn't know who I was and like it was just an organic meeting. And like we just got along really well. We just happened to have overlying kinks and shit like that. Because I found out later, like all the stuff that we did wasn't even always their thing.
Like they just knew I liked it because I post a lot what I'm into on. My Oh no, no, no. Everything like that and I was just like, I feel preyed on, like oh like this doesn't feel good. I don't. So I don't really do pick up play anymore. I was going to say that at least. Two years since I've done some pick up play. That sounds very, very risque.
You know, for someone of, you know, your notoriety, and this is something that we don't talk about often is, you know, assuming if you are in sex work and you see somebody at a party or you see somebody at dungeons, because that's that happens. I it's happened to me. I've seen, you know, some people that I worked with and I'm not going to, you know, say anything until after the fact because I have good rapport.
But also, it's like if you knew that's causing that predatory behaviour that we were talking about earlier, it's that they sought you out, they knew who you were, then they're going to play dumb. And then again, they're causing more harm to themselves because they're doing what you like, but they're not performing what they like. So now you don't know what kind of mental stability that might have fucked up in their head. And that's why.
People you exactly and I'm like, yeah, and I'm glad I'm someone who like does check insurance for like a while based off like how intense the session is and everything because, you know, feeling can arise whenever they arise. You you could be cool with something one day and then like 2 months from now not be cool with it. Absolutely. I'm being more quiet now because my boyfriend just told me he could hear me down the hall so I'm like OK. You're fine.
Like but like feelings going to rise like whenever. So you know, that's okay if anything is wrong or bad or whatever, but like you have to give space for that to happen. And really do I check it on people? But like, you find out weird shit like that. It, it brings it back to again, the communication because again, if you're not communicating any type of issues, that's why
negotiations happen. You know, again, people don't just go to a dungeon, say I want my ass beat and then grab the first person they see and say beat my ass. Yeah, there's, there's got to be some type of conversation. And if you are going to play parties where they're just beating ass and not talking about it, maybe. That's not OK. No, no, that's not a true. I'm sorry, that's some 50 Shades of Grey type shit and that's bullshit and it's not it. Yeah, and I'm sorry.
And not talking about like it's. Strictly predatory it is. Anybody who lives by the 50 Shades of Grey, even if you say it like to the most vanilla person and you're trying to explain to them your lifestyle, I'll be like, yeah, it's kind of 50 Shades of Grey, but without the predatory behavior. I'm just, I'm just lying. So you remember when you saw those handcuffs under your parents bed? It's like that. Right. Yeah, don't, don't be quoting. Yeah, don't be quoting Miss EL
James for any to any sex work. Under the sun? No, don't even pull the cookbook from her. No, if you're going to a munch, the first thing you would need to not say is 50 Shades of Grey Brought me here, no. Done Anybody who mentions 50 days a great munches like I remember that like years ago when that first came out and they mentioned like every 50 just a day and I think I was like. Oh yeah, I know. Oh, I got to talk to somebody over there.
Right. Even when I was, like, stepping on to the scene and realizing, like, BDSM and that realm of kink was something I wanted to carry through everybody, Like once that book came out, even my mom would come to me. And she's like, do you know about this? You know about that? And I'm like, yeah, but this is, this is just mommy porn written like a kindergartner. Like, no, no, I wanted to praise that.
Even well written like and like I he touched my hand and like I got wet because like he had handcuffs and like Oh my God the room was red. I've never seen the color red before. Like bitch, you're stupid. You and sad to say not every Dom is a multi millionaire billionaire. OK, some of them, they can barely hold 2, two quarters in between their knees, but we should go to them because they're safety. Know what the fuck they're talking about? Oh my God, Oh my God, just get it out the door.
Y'all get it out the door now people are probably come in and say well we we wanted to talk about urban X so we might as well talk about some urban X stuff. You're nominated. What are the categories that you are nominated? I'm nominated for hottest fetish star. Hottest OK to to you. I like to ask this question now and again. Fetish. When you think of the word fetish, what does that come to mind for you? For me, fetish is it's what you need sexually that you can't do
without. That gets you there. So for you. Like that's the strictest different dictionary definition of fetish. And that's what it means because I literally have a tattoo that says words have meaning. So I'm like one of those people's like, hey, I know like the gist of it.
I know how to paraphrase it. But let me give you the exact definition because I want you to know exactly what it means, not what it means to me. Because you need to know exactly what the fuck you're talking about right now when you're saying this shit to me. So I'm going to Google this definition for you because I know what it means, but I can't explain to you the exact dictionary definition.
Oh no, do. That right now, because you got fucked up. So I'm that person that would be Googling words during a whole disagreement and I you know what? But I like that I rather have somebody. If I'm giving up my control to somebody, I rather them just openly say, I don't know, let me research. Then just assuming automatically and being so enthused. That's the word that we like to use around the the community. It's being you're so enthused
but you are not educated. You just lost through the sauce. Yeah, you can't do that and. It's like that's not helpful to anyone because someone has to be in control and be sane and rational. 1000 per say. You can't both be lost in the sauce. Like that's how people get hurt. Everything that we do in BDSM is dangerous. People can actually die and get seriously psychologically fucked up from literally every single thing that we do. And we've heard it in the media. For sexual gratification.
And you've heard it in media, like there are cases of erotic officiation asphyxiation. David Carradine from the Kill Bill movies. He was infamously, you know, unfortunately, he he was unalived due to the erotic officiation fetish that he had. So again, it's like that's why I asked like to you or just even somebody that's listening, you should rethink and and think about talking about your fetishes and talking about your kinks, because your kinks can be
your fetishes. Your fetishes can be your kinks or they don't have to be. They don't have to be, but you have to be. Exactly because they're they don't have to overlap because a kink is just something you like. A fetish is something you can't do without. Like you need that to have a good time sexually. And that's why it's like such a cool category. Like I had to admit to myself that like, because I was doing like all the promo and shit for it because it's a fans voted
award and everything. And I kept saying hottest fetish creator and I was like no, it says * like. And I was like, damn, I can't call myself a star, damn my imposters and drove a show and fuck. You know, that is funny that you said that because the star talk is one of the things that we were talking about. I want to say I talked about this with Gogo Zombie and Lasha Lane most recently. But you know, the star versus
the creator, you know, title. So you would say that you are fetish creator not star because you haven't made movies, correct? Because I've done some program stuff, but like, it's just like the vanilla porn category. I mean, no, because the one I did with Daisy and Cotty, we were both switching and stuff for each other in it. I know. Oh yeah. OK, so real quick. I'll tell full circle story real quick and then remind me what we were talking about before because I have a terrible. Memory.
I love it. So literally when I was working at Sanctuary, I, we had a booth at AVN and that was, I started in June and that, and that was around December and stuff or January. No, January. Yeah, because that's whenever he ends. And so that's like 6-8 months later. I met Daisy at that. I was passing around business cards and everything and I saw her and I was like, hey, so
we're doing demos over there. It'd be really great if you play because I'm a really big fan and like give you like a demo and, and she was like, yeah, I'll come back for sure. I sat at the booth and I was just like Daisy said she was going to come. She said she was going and she didn't come that day, but the next day she came with her now husband and everything and she brought cameras and everything and I got to give her demo and everything.
My boss was super happy and I was like, Oh my God. Then cut to like a few months later, I'm nominated in a category with her for Avian Awards for Fave da May, just having started in June, nominated. And then a few months after that, I shot the scene with her for Crash Pad where we're topping each other. And we literally at the end of that scene, we're sitting on the couch and I'm just like, you fuck the shit out of me. She's like, I had to go have lunch with my parents after
this. My legs are shaking. You fuck the shit out of me, right? We're just sitting down. I'm just like. I love that now that is a full circle moment because again Daisy Ducati, y'all don't know who that is. Please go do your research. Shout out to Daisy legend sweetheart. My God, sweet. One of the sweetest. Beautiful. She's so amazing and she's just so light up a room and like just. And I love just I again, I love how you have this black alternative look.
She has this alternative look. And that's what I love about the whole kink Dom, you know, scene, the BDSM scene, especially for, you know, black performers. We are really showing like, listen, we can listen, we showing out like we can listen to the heavy metal, we can listen to the drum and bass and we might watch some fucked up serial killer thing, but we all have something in common. Our pussies get wet for something. OK yes Costa Mayhem.
Black people are involved too. So again, bringing it to the Urban X Awards, again, Fetish, you have this fans, you know award which is very big. Sometimes I feel like the fan awards don't get enough love, but it is up to the fans. It comes down to the fans. I feel like that makes you better. It does. It's. Great, like your peers and everything like that, obviously, but like people are going out there like there's this one dude.
I met him in a space with Wreck It Ralph and Freya von Dune when they used to do their spaces and everything. And they were like some of the first people that ever gave me a mic and everything and listened and got to see the knowledge I have and everything like that. And I had like 400 followers
when I first went their space. And then by the time of January, I had like 4000 when I went to the ABN thing and like I met this dude Isaac there and he has supported me the entire time over the past three years, everything. He votes me this every fucking day, every other day, whatever it was he was posting, he voted for me. Like I voted for you and everybody else. I voted for you and this person. I voted for you and this and I was retweeting. I was like, thank you.
I like coming up with something to say some other way to say thank you because I was just so flabbergasted. He's the sweetest person and like you don't have to like support monetarily. Like he just he shows out every time for every fucking award. He boasts every time and you make sure and he will write the best comments under everything. He's like, Oh my God, you're just living And he's the sweetest like and I'm like, I've never met this man a day in my life. But he is such a supporter
through and through. And it's like it's that makes fan awards so fucking. Cool, you know, you have to like you have to give it to your fans and and you know, being in the sex industry, your fans are what makes or breaks you. It really does. It's it's a lot of difference going into the mainstream and then going and stepping into the porn world and what like witnessing how fans are treated compared to mainstream celebrities.
You go to like I went to the AB Ms. the first this first year because I was nominated and again fan award. It was great for best sex podcast. We lost, but you know what? It was the notoriety. I lost it. You know, but it's still like an honor. It's still an honor, right? To be nominated, to put your name out there, just people to get to know you. There you go. It's like you put AVN nominated Urban X, nominate anything that is of that statue. Boom. Yeah. My rates went up.
Boom, you have to, you have to, but I want people to understand especially in your line of work femdoms, even though you are known for having this like hard personality, y'all go harder for the fans that put you on that platform. And like you said, it could be the Joe Schmo that might not be able to buy all the clips, but he's retweeting your posts. He's sending people in every other way imaginable.
And so I just want people to understand, be kind to your friend, be kind to the fans, but also fans, you guys have to take this into consideration, and I'm sure you get this a lot too. The boundaries, the boundaries need to be laid out and people will come in my DMS after they see a certain person on the show and they'll be like, oh, can I have their number? Like the hell no. You can get the information that you have. If they want to talk to you,
they will talk to you. OK, You can DM them, write them a nice e-mail, you know, gift them something on their whip. Ask nicely, please and thank you and pay for the content. Stop asking for freebies. Exactly because like I'm, I'm really fortunate that my like fans, I'm always reluctant to say that because like I said, imposter syndrome out the ass. But. Like my fans, they know I will check them. I'm like, who the fuck did you just say that shit to? Who you trying to fuck?
You lost your stupid head ass. No, no, no, no, fix that and I'll fucking be like hey, you, you forgot to add Goddess, you forgot to say this. What was that again? And I'm like, oh, sorry, you know, you, you look really pretty. I'm like, yeah, thank you. That's that's better. I was. That come correctly, come correctly. You don't come to somebody'd house and you bring an empty plate. You don't do that. You don't go to people's houses empty handed.
You come with something, even if it's a goddamn napkin, okay? Because if you one thing, if I recorded like super sexual ass comments and stuff, because like, if that's your niche, that's your niche, but that ain't what I'm playing to. I'm not going to be like, Oh yeah, Daddy's sitting here. No. Are you stupid? You're going to call. You're going to call her daddy first? OK, The hell I. Love being called daddy, that should make me wet as fuck.
When eyes can get a straight man to call me daddy, I am God. Well damn, I said. Daddy send her. I whispered it though. You'll hear it later in the. Eyes and call me daddy. Daddy, I don't even call anybody daddy besides my daddy. So my fiance is going to laugh at this because I don't call anybody daddy. She broke me all. We, we have a date now because boss lady, I took her to the dungeon that I used to like hang
out all the time. And she's like, you're one of those few women that can make people you like me. I would squirt it everywhere. Oh my God, Like it was a whole thing. So all of us have to go to the dungeon and I wasn't feeding everybody's ass. Y'all, y'all you know what listen, I'm gonna need my guests. I'm gonna need to stop my guests to soliciting like themselves to me because like I I did not do
anything to cinder before. I didn't tell Cinder, you know, you can freely just flirt with me on this show. I didn't do this. I didn't do it y'all. I'm. Just like this. OK, go go, go go. Zombie did not bring. It out to. Me. I guess I do. All I did was sit here and be pretty. That's it. And ask questions. You. Know you know what you did wrong. Right. What did I do wrong? Go Go and I are both Scorpios. Our birthdays are four days apart. And I'm an Aries, I just have
ways. My mama's an Aries, Yeah. You in trouble? No, I should be telling you. You in trouble because Arie Aries? Everybody likes to shit on the Aries OK but one thing you will never shit on an Aries. We are the warriors or goddesses of the bedroom like my. Mother is an Aries. She's April 12th. Trust me, I am well aware. I like being compared to your Mama. Like. This So now you got to call me Mama, Big Mama. I will beat you over and call you Mama. Get the dance in the air, Mama.
I did, I love this. I hope y'all are enjoying this conversation. I have to call you Mama. Y'all, I don't. Know I wear lots of makeup because I want to see that shit too. Oh, this may, oh, these lips. It's hard to come off like it's hard. Don't worry, it's not impossible. I'll get. You everything else will, you know, come off easily. Everything else comes off easily. I like to cry. I'll. Get it off. I cry. I cry prettyly. I'll get it off. You'll get it off. It's a challenge.
It's a challenge. I know which color I'm wearing on Sunday. Face in the mattress, Don't make me strap you too. Yes please. I'm a slept first. I'm a slut for it. I was. My log in the crash pad so you can see that scene with Daisy if you don't have. A yes please. I I need the cheat codes, the links. I need to see this because I if I'm getting. Myself in to see the scene I did with Valentine about Betty on there too. Y'all again, another guest is taking me.
Just I have no more words. I think this interview is over. I think I need to go and practice what I've been hypnotized to do probably 20 more times. And you'll do it to your videos too. Think of me. Oh, I will think of you. Oh my God, y'all Lady Cinder, Lady Cinder. I don't even know. Oh my goodness. Like thank you. Thank you for your presence.
I I want to bring you back. I say this to every guest, but it's the it's the female guest for me that just keep coming back for more This I just can't get enough. That's what it is. And I wear my blue lipstick next time too. I'm AI used to use the hashtag every single time. Blue is my red lip because I wore it religiously. Cobalt blue. See. Yes, please. I need to see. It's a date. It's a date. Like, hey, I don't know who's going to bum rush you on Urban X, but you just get ready.
You see this purple hair? Wait, wait, wait. We got I'm over here, like covering the screen as if we ain't trying to get taken down. Now she's the homo's idiot. I'm over here like, like, how do I block? I'm over here trying to block, block a screen. I can't even block. Lady Cinder, I have to say thank you for being such an amazing, amazing being on this show today. Where can people get in touch with you? Where can they find you?
Where can they just like to you? If you want and give me money you can check out my loyal fans and my only fans. My loyal fans is Lady Cinder. My only fans is Cinder 11/10 and then you can go to crashpadtheseries.com and see those scenes I was talking about with Valentine's on Betty and Daisy, Ducati and myself. And then you want to catch me on the free cheap shit because you're broke. You can find me on Twitter, you fucking degenerate.
Lady Cinder 1110 whatever. And Instagram is Lady under score Cinder 1110 and TikTok is Lady Cinder 11/10 as well. Boom, 1110 is my birthday. 1110 is the birthday, so don't you forget those you nasty pieces of. See, I can't do it. See, I can't. I can't do it. Every time somebody's like being mean. Sapphire is like no. Don't make me put a lace on you and make you do it. I mean, if you strapped me it'd be different, but you know, you're not that far. I know that don't.
Threaten me with a good time. Don't threaten me with a nice time. I'm just saying, well, you know, you would get that. See again twice in a row. This is 2 episodes in a row that the earplugs are getting where I'm flabbergasted to sign off. OK, so again, I'm going to keep this. I'm keeping this in because again, you know it's real when Sapphire can't even like sign off on her own things. Of course I'm Megan Sapphire. You can find me at MSRADIOSAPPH ire.com.
That's also Miz Radio Sapphire on the Instagrams. No I don't have Twitter stop ask me TikTok fuck you and of course subscribe to sapphires your play on YouTube. With that said, y'all remember that safe sex is the best hot sex. Till next time, good night. That was the show all you sexy motherfuckers out there. Remember to follow at Miss Radio Sapphire and Sapphires Ear Play on Instagram. Want some ear gasms of the past
and future? Make sure to follow on Apple Podcast, Spotify, iHeartRadio and all streaming platforms.