The Real Reason You're Tired (And How To Fix It)

the entire way you lead your team .

almost like , have you ever had a team member you know that's walked in and they've been totally out of dress code before ? And you know it's like almost like you feel that it's like your heart starts to rise up into your chest and it's like you want to force that correction . You know , like , go home and change .

That's not how you show up here , um , you know , and technically , if you did that , I guess you'd be right . But what happens next is maybe they comply , but under the surface , what did you really create ? You know you probably created fear , embarrassment . You probably created fear , embarrassment , disconnection , and that's force .

Because now let's look at that same moment from a place of power . So , instead of reacting , you pull them aside and quietly ask hey , how do you think that that outfit lines up with the brand that we're building here ? And you just pause and you let them answer . You know that is power .

You're still addressing the same issue , but instead of creating compliance through fear , you're just helping to create awareness . You know , you're inviting alignment . You're truly holding a position and letting them rise into it . You know , because power creates change and force creates control .

Have you ever forced someone to upsell retail and they did it that day , but never again . That's such you know . Really think about that . Or have you ever forced someone to take more clients and they hit their numbers but burn out and leave the salon like three months later ? You know we all have a salon nurse because force is short term .

Let me say that again because it's so powerful . Force is short term , it's reactive and it makes us feel like we're leading , but really we're just managing chaos with that tight grip .

and again um , you know , and said you've got to ask you're losing income , we're losing clients , you know . And so they were like , you know , finally they forced it . You know , I told her if she didn't improve her rebooking numbers by the end of the month , she would lose access to our guests , you know .

And so in that moment it was like , okay , you know , they saw that slight improvement for two weeks , but then that person completely shut down . You know , they stopped showing up with energy and eventually they quit . Because , you know it , when you really look at that situation , that's , you're not leading somebody , you're truly scaring somebody , you know .

And if you had approached that situation with power instead , you know , and and sat with her and said , you know , tell me why you're not rebooking , what's really going on here , you know you might have discovered that they didn't feel confident . You know , they needed the right words to say , not warnings . You know , it's like coaching , not consequences .

I think that that's a powerful example of the difference between power and force when it comes to to having that coaching conversation with rebooking .

I've learned that . So you know , let's think about it from the standpoint of like what does power look like in a salon ? You know , when we think about power , it's like setting a clear standard and standing by it even when it's uncomfortable . It's saying like you know , this is how we do things around here . You're capable of that . I'll believe in you .

You know , like Lindsay was mentioning earlier , with the dress code she gave , the example of force would be like why are you dressed like that ? You've got to go home and change our stance and be like hey , tell me what's going on today . Tell me like is this , is this really going to serve you to your highest good ?

So it's asking questions like what would need to be true for you to feel proud of how you've handled that guest ? Or like what support would help you be more consistent ? Or you know , like , do you feel connected to what we're building here ?

So using questions like what , or do you feel like it kind of takes them from a moment of , takes them from their like subconscious to their conscious part of their brain and helps them build a new opportunity ? And so , you know , power is when someone walks into a conversation nervous and walks out inspired . You know , force tightens the leash .

I feel like , think of it like walking a dog . You got that dog on a tight leash , you know . And power , but power , on the other hand , helps raise the bar .

a good visual . You know , because I really think you know if your leadership feels heavy , you know if you're always in meetings and you're always correcting , always fixing , you're probably leading with force .

So , and it doesn't mean that you're a bad leader , but it does mean that you're exhausted and you're trying to hold it together the only way that you know how . But here's the truth . Here is the truth . The most powerful leaders don't hold it all . They hold a position and let the others rise to it .

They help them see that path , you know , understand truly why this matters and help them rise to the occasion . You know , it's like Jen mentioned with those amazing questions earlier asking them to help them see it for themselves , like cause .

When we're able to help them reveal it to themselves , then you don't have to be the one forcing them to do it because , listen , they know why it's important to rebook guests . Maybe they just need a reminder . You know , ask them the questions . You know , why do we do this ?

What's in it for the guest , what's in it for you , you know , like the power of asking those questions to help them rise into that position . That's true power .

Like , if you're giving someone feedback , forcing that person to listen to you when they're around their other teammates can be so embarrassing for them , and so coming from a place of power is , like you know , creating a connection point with that person , so that it's just you and that person and that's what's truly going to help drive them forward . You know so .

So let's say it's a bad review , instead of saying , lindsay , did you see this bad review that you know so-and-so left for you ? Can you tell me more ? What happened ? What did you do ? And everybody around is listening . Like that would be coming from a place of force versus a place of power .

Like , hey , lindsay , do you have time just to connect with me real quick , let's head over here .

Like , so it's just like the tongue is so powerful , the words that we use are so powerful , and so , you know , this is a beautiful opportunity for us to do some reflection , and so I want you to think about a moment , a recent moment if that , that where you were forced , where you forced something to happen in your business .

So maybe it was a conversation , maybe it was a coaching strategy that you were trying to use . Maybe you gave that harsh connection . Maybe you pushed a promo no one was excited about . Maybe you stepped in and saved a situation your team could have handled . And now when you think about that , you have to ask yourself , like , what belief was behind that ?

Or maybe was I afraid it wouldn't happen unless I did it . That's a good one for salon owners to hear . Maybe I was afraid it wouldn't happen unless I did it , or was I afraid of being misunderstood or things falling apart . See , that's force .

shown up so good ? Because , truly , when you are leading that place of force , it is exhausting for everyone involved , not just you , but everyone you know . So here is your power practice for the week . So this is how you are going to step more into power this week . You know we want you to write down .

You know one area in your salon where you are forcing outcomes , you know . So write down that one area in your salon where you're forcing outcomes , and then the second step is going to be just write down one small shift you can make to lead that area from power instead of panic or force . You know .

So it could be , you know , as simple as replacing a demand with a question . You know it could be holding space instead of , you know , fixing fast . You know , and if you need a mantra to hold on , to try this one , I don't need to force anything . That's truly meant for me and I don't need to force anyone who's truly meant to lead with me either .

You know , I think that's such a powerful mantra and when you put , you know that power practice into play , you're going to notice a huge shift right away , if nothing else and just the energy that you walk home with right away .

But I guarantee people start to see the shift and see I don't know what's going on with Lindsay over there , but something is different about her this week and I'm into it .

You don't need to pull harder , you don't need to root deeper , and that's what real secret . You don't need to pull harder , you don't need to root deeper , and that's what power really is .

share it with another salon leader that you love . You know , because we're all on this journey of unlearning force and stepping into our power together . So , until next time , keep leading with your heart and keep building something beautiful , because we truly want to bring the beauty back to the beauty industry .