¶ Understanding Emotions in the Salon
You are in store for some greatness today . We know you know being a part of the salon world can be a highly emotional thing , and when we bring more understanding to what's happening inside of us and around us , we can get through the world in a lot quicker , easier manner .
Yeah . And so you may be thinking , oh yeah , I've had bad days before or I've had team members that have bad days before Today . We're not talking about never having a bad day .
We're just really going to bring something for you , some lightness for you to just be able to understand emotions in a salon setting , how emotions really impact team dynamics and client interactions .
Yes , and so you know , emotions can actually be one of the things that you know , like Jenna alluded to , really can block your business . And you know , if you've ever made something your emotional home for too long before I know that's happened to me I've gotten stuck in an emotion , you know , at certain times .
But what can happen , too , is a lot of people can get stuck there and make that their emotional home for way longer than they ever anticipated . And so you know , today we're going to be looking at some of those different emotions and how do they impact our team dynamics and our client interactions .
And you know how can we elevate and just continue to be the amazing salon owners and salons that we aspire to be ?
Because if you have some teenagers , you know you might get some attitude every once in a while with some emotions dressed up on there , but when we're thinking about emotions , emotions are like feelings that come and go .
So , like Lindsay was saying , a lot of times we live in an emotional home , but you know , really a very stable person knows how to flow in and out of emotions daily . When we're thinking about attitude , attitude is a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something , typically reflected in behavior .
So first we just want to make sure that you understand the difference and are able to distinguish the difference between those two in a salon environment , because today we're really looking at emotion . So we're looking , really looking at those temporary feelings that come and go with your guest or with your clients and with your team members .
Yes , and so you know , today we're going to be diving into just the scale of emotions . We're not going to I can't even remember how many emotions there are 500 and some , but anyway , whatever it is , there's a ton .
So we're obviously not going to be going through every single emotion , but we're going to be going through some that can you know be prevalent inside of the salon , like Jen mentioned , whether it's with our guests or with our team members .
But really , just we're going to go through an overview and talk about the relevance of you know when these emotions show up , you know what insights do they provide ? What are they showing you about the well-being and the state of mind of your team member or of your clients ?
Yeah , and so the first emotion that we're going to look at is deathfulness , and so when you think about this word , this is at the bottom of the scale , and so the definition of deathfulness is feeling completely defeated or numb . So it's almost like they feel like they're dead inside .
So I don't know if you've ever experienced that or you've seen a team member experience that you're like hello , are you ? Are you even breathing ? Are you there ? And so when you have somebody that's living in that space of deathfulness , like it can really create a negative influence on your team morale and client satisfaction .
And so you know , there may be times that someone does live in that state of feeling completely defeated or numb , but as long as they don't live in that emotion forever or most of the time , because when that is the lowest on the scale of emotions and you have someone on your team that lives there , wow , that impact that it will , how it will impact your
culture , can be really detrimental .
Totally . And you know , like if we were to see this show up temporarily , maybe it would be like there was like an extreme thing that went wrong with a service , you know , and so somebody felt completely defeated or numb . You know , they were just it , just like really wiped them out for just a little bit .
But you know again , this is , you know , they were just it , just like really wiped them out for just a little bit .
But you know again , this is , you know , when you're viewing something like this , you know our , our goal as the leaders , um , the visionaries for the team , is to to really be able to see this and you know , and help them raise up that scale of emotions , because you know , of course you can't change anything for anybody , but what you can do is just , you
know , look for those opportunities to view what's going on and help them to kind of move past . If it was something that kind of took them out temporarily , help them flow through that emotion . Or also , just be mindful of gosh . Is this somewhere ? You know that is an emotional home for somebody .
You know , can I point them in the direction of getting help somewhere else , or what is the next right move in this case ?
Yeah , and so as we climb up the scale of emotions a little bit , we're going to what's next after deathfulness is grief . So when you think about grief , you know we've all probably experienced some grief from the loss of a loved one or you know someone's passing , and so when you have that grief there's just a deep sorrow .
You know you probably have withdrawal from social interactions , like maybe decreased productivity . Withdrawal from social interactions , like maybe decreased productivity . And so when you have someone on your team , or what this may look like with someone on your team is like they may just show signs of sadness , a lot of sadness .
They may start to like they were once doing well in their productivity . It started to decline a little bit , and so usually there's a lot of things going on , either personally or professionally , that are really impacting them and creating this space for them to live in this emotional home of grief .
And so to recognize that and to be able to explore where someone's at , if they're living in grief , and to be able to offer them some coaching or some feedback to see if you can raise them on the scale of emotions , can really help elevate their motivation and potential opportunities .
And I think you know grief is also a great one to look at when we're thinking about the different , you know , clients that we serve . You know , because sometimes somebody could temporarily be in this , like Jen mentioned .
You know , especially if you , especially if somebody experienced a recent death , that can be someone's very teary-eyed and they're just lowered motivation , deep sorrow , all of those things that come with grief . But occasionally you'll interact with somebody who that is their emotional home , with somebody who that is their emotional home , you know .
And so , just being aware of that , because there's a lot of empathetic people in our industry , but sometimes there's also sympathetic people in our industry , and so you know , kind of the difference between sympathy and empathy is . Empathy is , you know , I recognize and I see your feelings , you know , and I acknowledge them , you know , and sympathy would be .
Now I'm going to go down there with you and feel terrible with you , or whatever the feeling is . I'm going to go there with you instead of , you know , being that guiding post to where , like , hey , we can , you know , possibly come up with a new solution , or at least I see you and I validate where you're at .
We can possibly come up with a new solution , or at least I see you and I validate where you're at and so helping a team member . I know I've experienced this when once upon a time I was behind the chair doing hair , just having a few guests that lived in that spot .
Most of the time it was just great to know , like hey , we like to say just zip up and just know .
Like hey , you know we like to say just zip up and just know , like hey , you can support them by just being a loving kind , you know , ear , shoulder to lean on , however you want to look at it , but don't take it on as your own , and I think that that's a really empowering position to be in .
As a leader is to help other people know how to leave their emotions places and how to not take on the emotions of somebody else around you as well .
I love that . So just imagine this , imagine a ladder . We've talked about deathfulness , we talk about grief , so each time we go up it's like you're taking one more step on that ladder .
And the next one really is interesting to me because a lot of people , I feel like , think that fear is like at the very bottom of the scale of emotions , but it's actually above deathfulness and grief . So when you think of fear , fear is a unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger , pain or harm .
And so when you you probably know you've seen some signs of fear in your team members before like oh my gosh , I cannot do this balayage . Or oh my gosh , I've never done a pixie before .
And so , like you know , sometimes at the end of the day , just recognizing when someone's in fear will help you bring them back to more of a present state and help them understand hey , let's just really get present .
See what we really need to do to create , you know , this amazing hair , this amazing facial to um , to help elevate them and help them climb the ladder .
And because if you have somebody that constantly lives in fear , sometimes they may not just be the best fit for your team , because if you're always having to spend all your coaching power trying to get them out of fear . At the end of the day , um , you know it can feel kind of defeating and so you know we get it .
When you're new there's going to be a not as much confidence or some fear , and that's okay , but we just our . Our main opportunity here is just to make sure that someone doesn't constantly live there .
Yeah , and you know , some of those signs are obviously that hesitation , the avoidance , nervous behavior , excessive questioning . You know , I think that we can see it show up We've seen it shown up before where someone will ask for 50 different code toner formulas , you know , just because they have so much fear around it that they're like what would you do Now ?
What would you do Now ? What would you do , you know , and so so , really , what's wild and is what's above fear is anger .
And just to get back to fear , if you even think , if somebody's been avoiding fixing somebody's hair , or maybe there was some sort of a discrepancy about what it was that they wanted and they've been like , oh , I don't want to do this , they're just so nervous and not looking forward to it .
And then if they're finally just like , well , I'm frustrated , but I'm going to do it , you know that that's a good sign , which is kind of wild when you think about it , cause I think , you know , a lot of times people think you want to get somebody to total confidence and total acceptance and being like , oh , I'm going to totally rock this , you know , but
when someone's newer and you're coaching , you know , eventually , hopefully , your goal is definitely to get them there so that they can live in that place of confidence . But even just knowing , hey , it might there might be a few different emotions that pop up before that . I think that that's always just a good reminder and a good thing to be aware of .
¶ Understanding Emotions in the Salon
Mm , hmm . And so above that fear too , is we're to look at anger . And so , you know , anger is a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility or annoyance . So when you think about that , someone that's angry is always irritable , very confrontational , kind of loud or aggressive or aggressive See how my voice got louder there . You're like that , didn't you ?
And so when you think about somebody that lives in anger because this really can come from a place of clients too , not just team members , is you know , it's when you're stopped at a stop sign or stop light and the light hasn't even turned green yet and the person behind you is already honking the horn .
It's like , okay , we're getting ready to go Calm down , and so like , just imagine the impact If you have somebody on your team like this . That is always irritable . They're always , you know , maybe , when you're trying to create that relaxing experience , like they're speaking above everyone else in the salon and it's not always the best conversation .
And so there may be times , and there are times , that you need to be angry or should be angry .
But if you do have somebody that lives in that space , man that can really disrupt the salon environment , can really create conflicts with team members and clients and I know we've all experienced an upset client before too that's angry , and so sometimes just recognizing where they're at , at the scale of emotions , based upon their experience , helps you to create that
opportunity and make that decision of how you can interact with them . Because even if you can get them from anger to the next step above the ladder , then that's where you really almost can create raving fans , because you recognize where they're at and you see the opportunities of where you can take them .
Yes , and you know . The next one is boredom . And so you know , just imagine that you did have an angry guest and then they were like I don't even know , I'm just . You know my hair , whatever , you know they were displaying those signs of boredom . You might think , well , did I do it right ? I know that's happened .
You know to me and people on on my team before , um , that you know , we've just noticed like I mean , you think that they're going to be like , yes , I love this , this is amazing . Um , but sometimes just knowing hey , boredom does come above anger .
It can be really freeing to know , hey , we did move them up the scale of emotion and hopefully next time , you know , we'll get them to a place where they do have , you know , that bigger display of enjoying what it is that they have . But boredom , the definition of boredom is feeling weary and impatient because one is unoccupied or lacks interest .
So you know , some signs of boredom might be that lack of enthusiasm . So you know , some signs of boredom might be that lack of enthusiasm , frequent distractions , minimal effort and tasks . You know , and kind of the impact that that has on the salon is that you know you experience poor client service and decrease in overall performance .
So boredom can be kind of a lonely place to be and just very lackluster . And imagine if you were getting serviced by somebody or maybe you have been serviced by somebody who was living in the emotional home of boredom . It would leave a lot to the imagination or a lot to you . Know you desire probably a lot more from that service .
You know you might not think , well , this is the worst thing in the world , but you probably wouldn't be a raving fan if you were experiencing this from a service provider . Often yeah .
And so as we continue to climb up the ladder , above boredom , it's going to be interest . So now we're starting to get into I wouldn't say positive emotions , but more green light emotions .
And so you know we've talked about that before human beings in the world , you know they work with you , you know they're always looking for what's possible , they're always enrolled . And so you know , above that boredom is interest .
And so when you think about the definition of interest , it's curiosity or concern about something , but at least they're not bored , right , they've elevated it just a little bit , so somebody with an interest .
You know they're usually engaging in conversation and asking questions , having proactive behavior instead of reactive behavior , so they're not just reacting to everything that's being said , and you know somebody that lives in interest and usually is a green light person .
They have more positive interactions with clients and a more proactive approach to work , and so you can think about this from the standpoint of if you've ever just been in the salon a day , one day and everything just seems to like flow super organically and everything feels good , it's probably because your team has elevated or they're higher on the scale of emotions
that day , and so it's just thinking about how can we be present to what's happening around us and how can we create more days like that .
¶ Managing Emotions in the Salon
Because , you know , for me , an amazing day is when you know most or all of the people that you're interacting with and this is , you know , obviously a fairytale land because we're all humans , we have human experiences , you know , and so we'll flow through all of these emotions .
You know you should feel , you should be feeling , and you know remembering at least 15 to 20 per week of emotions that you've experienced . But you know , enthusiasm is is one of my favorite emotions .
I know it's one of yours too and I'm sure , if you're listening to this , you love experiencing enthusiasm too , and you know so the definition is an intense and eager enjoyment , interest or approval .
You know , and some signs that somebody you know is living in enthusiasm or experiencing enthusiasm is they have high energy , a positive attitude and an eagerness to take on tasks . You know . So if you find yourself the yes girl all the time , just know you probably . You know enthusiasm could be your emotional home that you live in quite a bit .
You know , and I think the cool thing is the impact on the salon is that this is uplifting the team spirit and enhancing the client experience . I think enthusiasm is just an amazing place to be and you know if somebody is at deathfulness , you know , sometimes enthusiasm can't be triggering to them .
So it's , you know , just a good thing to be aware of Don't change who you are for somebody else .
But you know , also just be aware of , like , if you are naturally an enthusiastic person and you come across somebody who's really low on the scale , you know you can still be enthusiastic but instead of a 10 , maybe you take it down to a five um , just to be aware of the energy um that you're , that you're bringing Um , and you know we would never say change
yourself . But like , if you're looking at yourself as a leader and you come in , one of the ways that you can raise that gradient is to just kind of slowly , you know , allow people to climb up that ladder with you no-transcript .
do have some team members on your home that live in , let's say , fear , anger , lower on that ladder , or maybe it's even in deafness or grief , like just to recognize that that's impacting your culture , your bottom line , your guest experience , your client experience more than you realize .
So this is just a tool where you could look and see if you're having some challenges with someone on the team is like , hey , maybe they're living here on the scale of emotions you know , maybe if I give them some new coaching or just now that I'm aware of it , it helps me understand what I can do and what decisions I need to make based upon where they're
living .
Yeah , I love that you said all of that . And and really , you know , creating that emotionally supportive environment , um is is so important . And so you know you would never want to take this and be like , oh , you know , jen's client , Susie , yep , she loves in grief , we knew it , you know . Or you know and then just write somebody off .
No , you know , it's just like Jen mentioned a tool to view what's going on and to help you make that next best decision and , you know , offer that support .
Sometimes you know we don't have the words to describe what's happening inside of us or we don't have the freedom to know like , hey , you don't have to make that your emotional home for the rest of your life . You know you don't have to get trapped in anger . You don't have to get trapped in .
You know , because if you've ever , you know , been with somebody who something happened to them , you know like , you know five years ago and they're still mad about it , that's a good sign . You know , not that I'm sure there's the occasional thing that you know like , okay , you still , if it was brought back up , you'd still be mad about it .
But if you're making it a part of your daily conversations , just being aware you know like hey , anger could be their emotional home . It just helps you understand people , helps you get around in the world better . It can help you communicate better with your team and really help them show up as the best version of themselves as well .
Awesome . So you know just understanding the importance and managing emotions in the salon . Thank you so much for tuning in today . If you loved this podcast and know it'd be super helpful for other salon amazing salon owners just like you , be sure to share it . We appreciate you and we'll catch you next week .