Pacing The Room - How To Build Instant Rapport With Groups

I know. Certainly, you know. Imposter syndrome can rear its ugly head for me, and I have had that experience. And one of the things I've learned from years and years of making presentations, giving presentations to all different types of groups, whether it's the corporate boardroom, whether it's, , up on a stage in front of, hundreds of people, or if it's in a small, group or.

They aren't open to hearing your message. And if you wanna help open minds and open hearts and open ears to your message, you have to create safety. And as the presenter, you do have a little bit of a unique advantage in that. You already have a little bit of credibility built in a little bit, but not a ton.

So again, very NLP language here, pacing and leading. Pacing is when you adjust to the other person or people in the room. Leading is where they start to adjust to you and you kind of have the floor and a lot of times presenters. Go in with this idea of that they immediately are going to lead and they forget to pace and yet.

Pace and get the other people in the room interested by helping them feel like you respect and admire who they are in the room, and that you recognize their expertise and what they bring. To the conversation and whether even it's just a matter of appreciating the fact that they're giving you their time and attention.

'cause we all know, I don't know, maybe you do, but I know lots of presenters that when they present, it feels like it has to be their show. And if everybody isn't tuned in and totally engaged, they tend to, uh, kind of fall apart. Up on stage. So I don't want you to fall apart on stage. I want you to feel really confident.

Would you be willing to, you know, answer this question? Just showing that level of respect, so not like, hey. Put your answer in the chat, right? That's a command. But if you ask them to do it as a, as a question and give them the option, people are much more likely to want to engage. The other thing about pacing is pacing the energy.

I, I find it a huge turnoff when a speaker gets up in the front of the room and immediately starts making demands of me. And I think like, hmm, you gotta, you gotta earn it a little bit. And as the presenter, I really think you should go into it thinking like it's your job to earn it. And then recognize when people do contribute in a positive way.

Don't be afraid to do that. I always think about this. Here's the counter example. years ago I was attending an A meeting and we had a speaker and she was you know, socializing before the event started, kind of, you know, going around the room and socializing with people. And her and I got into a conversation now, she was a pretty high, high profile person.

It's just that I rooted for a different team, and that was because. You know, my husband was a big fan and he had season tickets and we, we, you know, and so we, we got into this conversation about this idea of me attending these games and, you know, her and her job and, and I thought we had a nice conversation and then she went up to speak.

The room booed me. Now, my ego's strong enough that I am fine being booed in a room in that particular instance. But I will say this part of me that believes in communication and rapport and relationships was so appalled in that moment that in some way she was trying to win the crowd over by. Taking somebody, and in this case it was me, so this is why I'm sharing the story, right?

Like if you're gonna take a shot at somebody and make them the butt of the joke, it should be somebody who's elevated above you not somebody who's in a position to that. Is maybe less than so like punching down. So I felt like in that moment, like as a presenter, she's punching down to somebody who's just sitting in the audience, like totally trying to be engaged and getting booed.

And that is the thing you always wanna avoid is how can you highlight people? How can you pour, I call this pouring love, like how can you pour love on people in the room? And it could be that as the presenter, you do get there early and you have conversations with people and you use those conversations in a way to highlight, in a way, to shine a light on the group members, on an individual group member when appropriate.

Onboard and wanting to participate. And when you call somebody out and shine a positive light on them in the room, whether it be that like, oh my gosh, I'm so glad you asked that question. Thank you so much. Acknowledging them asking a question or whether it's like that's a really, great point that you just made, and I appreciate you bringing that into the room, even if it's something counter to what you're sharing.

Like doing that kind of pouring love and acknowledging people in the room, I think elevates you and in no way makes you lessen or diminishes you as the speaker. So. Are you pacing and leading? And if you're worried about winning over a group, one of the things that you can do, well, let me give you a few things.

Reflect the quality of a question or a comment. This idea of like really thanking somebody or acknowledging what a thoughtful, suggestion that is. Slow down, give appreciation for contributions, be genuine in that approach with people, and then allow yourself to not always be the expert.

So it's not a free for all. It's not like anybody who wants to coach anybody in that room. It's like, no, you're getting coaching from Nikki. However, there are many times where people will ask me a question and I'll say, I am not the expert on that. We do have an expert in the room though, and that person is this and this is what they do, and I do recommend if it makes sense that you guys connect outside this meeting or connect in the chat.

And we forget to do these things, but yet this is the thing that will win over the group for you. So. That's it. That's what we're talking about today. I'm so interested to hear from you as a speaker, as a presenter, as a trainer, what is your way to win over a group? Mine is about pacing and leading and really taking into account and appreciation the people that are in the room and acknowledging.