Ruthie's Table 4: Jemma Sbeg

Welcome to Ruthie's Table four, a production of iHeartRadio and Adamized Studios.

I'm Sean, come man, I'm a the executive chef in a recovery. It's Friday lunch, so I'm here with all the chefs clicking away.

Yeah.

Nice, I know it's busy and girl, and I'm Jama Nice to me and I'm hot The Psychology of Your Twenties at the podcast.

Jemmy speG and I met for the first time just a few days ago in the River Cafe. She was introduced to me as the most exciting podcaster today.

Not great for my ego. Distance keeps us apart.

She lives in Sydney, I live in London, and we're in different stages of our lives for sure, but that doesn't seem to matter. We both love talking to people, we both love eating delicious food, and we both love pondering situations and finding solutions.

Listen to the.

Titles of some of her episodes on Psychology of Your Twenties and you'll see why I Am hooked, Embrace your Authentic Self, Daddy issues, why we date the wrong people, career anxiety, disillusionment, and feeling stuck Gemma has been in the River Cafe. Cooking asparak is fun due to with the chefs. We're going to have lunch and talk some more on Monday. She's going back to Australia, but something tells me I'm not letting her go.

That's for sure.

That's for sure.

So tell me about cooking fun, Duta, how is that in the River Cafe kitchen?

It was amazing. I actually used to work in a restaurant. I used to work at a steak restaurant yeap in Australia, in Canberra, so Canberra, capital of Australia. It was how I paid my bills when I was at Uni and broke, and so it was really fun to come back and to be back in the same kind of situation and cooking something. And actually we didn't cook much.

Fresh food so stastant.

At the steak restaurant now it was fat potatoes. So asparagus, fresh asparagus was a nice treat, that's for sure. I'm doing. I'm so excited.

Cool.

So we're going to cook asparagus, which is really slap back in season now, like it's English asparagus and it's it's exactly peak season. And then we've made this sauce out of cramb fresh eggyolks and palms.

It's really yummy.

But the sauces is just you put the three ingreetments together and cook them together. And we've done that, and I'll just show you how we put it together.

Oh I'm so excited.

Yeah, okay, so that living in not very not very long at all, for or four minutes, but because.

It's so fresh.

Yeah, it doesn't take that long as to cook super fresh, actually probably slightly.

When it turns that beautiful shade of grain, it's just gorgeous.

And what we might do is we have this sauce which is really yummy, which is.

Put on a plate like this, it looks like coustant almost. I know it's savory exactly.

You can see the classes of it the guests, you know, the size based on exactly people or how hungry you are, how hungry.

They are.

Here we go look at that simple but amazing cheese. Oh they like more or less? Yeah, me too. We've got to have more farmers exactly.

You don't have too much.

This just makes everything better, great goodness.

Sometimes this is probably one of our most popular dishes that we have on the lifetime.

Yeah, also with the sun, with the sun and a glass of wine, and a glass of wine.

So would you like to read the recipe?

Yes?

Please?

This recipe says it serves six. I grew up in a big family, so it's going to serve ten at least, so we're going to have some of these portions. It recommends a quilo and a half of asparagus. Let's change that to three just for fun. Leftovers are always nice. Two hundredgrams of parmesan you know double that it's four hundred, but everyone loves parmesan cheese. You know you never want

Frame fresh crim.

Fresh kind of sour cream that you get in France.

Love nice.

I had some before, but when I had this, so eight hundred meals for that, and then four large organic and of course free range egg yolks. We're not here for cage, sorry, guys. So your first app will be to use a medium sauce pan maybe large in this instance that will fit inside another larger sauce pan with

It is beautiful great.

Do you cook for yourself? Absolutely?

Do you? Yeah? I cook so much. I think I travel so much right that when I'm home and when I'm back in Sydney, I really don't want to go out and eat out all the time or order in. I want to be alone or with my I live with housemates actually still I live with three boys, three guys in their twenties. It's very a new girl situation if you've seen that TV show. And one of my favorite things to do when I'm back is to cook something for them. So every Sunday night we do. I

Something that I've been lockdown, sort of eased up. We were allowed to go out, but everybody was pretty much in their own homes. A friend of mine was making a movie actually say with Austin, but we've about lost a Minuteicot, and we started having Sunday night supper. So I would cook, they would kind of do some shopping, or we'd cook and just get together. And then we

That is spot on, and I think it emulates a family system that we when we get older, we don't have. But the way that I really saw it was you start your week off doing something for someone else. So it was a really beautiful way for me to express my love for these people and show them generosity by going and getting a leg of lamb or making Italian meatballs or lasagna, and really starting the week off having done something for someone else. And we also play cards,

So maybe not as do you buy sell hope else?

Oh yeah, absolutely, it's the only it's the only taste of property ownership I think I'm gonna get for a while. So it keeps me on.

Maybe not? Or do you live with? What are the guys like?

They're amazing? I really love them. One of them is an actor. One of them is in finance. One of them is in marketing. It's very different from what I do. Maybe Jack is the actor. He's actually moving to Paris soon. So the Sunday Dinners are sadly coming to an end in October. But it's also really it's nice, I think in some ways because it makes me feel quite maternal as well, and I think that's an instinct that I've always had, and I think that food and family are

I found that very touching when you said you want to be like your mother. That's every parent's dream and it certainly was mine as well. I think you can tell people who come from happy families where they loved and where they want to love, So tell me what it was like growing up in your house.

It's interesting. My dad's from Queensland, so it's kind of rual. It's a bit rough in tumble sometimes. My mom's actually from Wisconsin, so I was American. She's American.

Yeah. Had she end up in Australia.

It's kind of actually a hard story.

You know.

Her parents got divorced and her dad kind of walked out of the picture. She hasn't spoken to him for a while, you know, she won't mind me saying that. And she moved with with my grandma and they moved to Australia, and it was really hard. I think when they first got here she was old enough to really have friends and to want to assimilate. She was around fourteen, and I think that's actually a really hard age to move. But it has made her a wonderful mother because she

And they met in Australia.

They met in Australia. They met at a cricket game and my mom went up to him and was like, I think you're really cute and the rest is history. And they did long distance for a while. They have such a beautiful story. Then it's really nice being able to look at your parents and realize that they still really like each other and that they really get along. And every night I'll go home and they always share

Yeah, are you an only child?

I'm not. I have two sisters.

So well would meals be? Like, tell me about food in your house?

Go back to So my mom was Actually she was a break I don't know. She worked full time, she traveled a lot. We didn't actually see her very much for a little while because she was, you know, trying to provide for the family. My dad was a stay at home dad. So what did she did. She's an economist and so she it's so different from what I do, right, And she talks about money all day. I talk about feelings.

It's simple with tuna, and then.

For dessert, we would have berry cobbler, which is a classic, right everyone, When you think of cobbler, you think of warmth and cozy in childhood and what.

Is verry cop can you describe it?

So berry cobbler, it's kind of like I think it was like kind of a poor man's dish back in the day, because it's super simple to make. It's these berries that you cook in this like amazing sugary syrup and with butter, and then on top you put like egg and more butter and sugar and flour together and you mix it all up and then crumble it on so crumble.

So you grew up with your dad and he would cook edward every night, a different kind of dinner.

Did he did.

He really spend time and making sure that everything was good.

He did. He's from an Italian family, so I think it's like this generational thing. His mom used to put so much care into her meals, and he would do that for us.

And when your mom cooked, what would she cook?

She loves fresh food. We used to do this thing called snack plate. And it's what that would mean was we would go to the markets with her when she was back on Saturday or Sunday, the Queen Victoria Markets. If you're ever in Melbourne, it's amazing. You know, if you live there, you know all the tenders and you know everyone, and she would take us and we would all get to choose what snacks we would want on

So this was your growing up.

You're growing up with this food, with your father cooking, your mother coming back from a business trip and cooking. What were your teenagers like? Were you quite a happy teenager or was it conflicted?

I actually wasn't. I don't think I was very I think I was I was a bit of a strange child.

How far is Canberra. From Melbourne, it's.

Around an eight hour drive, so yeah, and it was. It wasn't in Australia, that's not that far, but in other places, you know, in Europe's that's really fast. So and I moved out of home and I think that's this is gonna sound weird, but I think that's where like I really came alive and I became a person rather than just someone who has memories and other people's thoughts about me.

What made you kind of blossom in that way from your high school to college.

I think it was like, I'm in this new place, no one knows who I am.

You can make your own identity.

Yeah, and it actually was. That was such a good question because it it was like I didn't actually need to make my own identity. It was like my identity was already there and I just let people see it. And I just met the best people I've ever met in my life. I'm still really really close with them, and they were just so intelligent. It was this shared

Yeah, did they have Chefso you were all just allowed to go in there and make your own food.

Can you imagine what that was like?

I can't.

Yeah, I'll give you one word, messy Yeah.

Messy, messy.

It was gross.

Yeah, So what would you do?

Would you go in there is just clean up before you started, or would you just sort of how did you work in a kitchen like that?

Yeah, you need to clean up. Also, you'd have to lock away your stuff because everyone's everyone's poorly. Everyone wants you know, if you have low pack butter that was such like a luxury item that would go missing so quickly, or avocados, oh, don't even try it. And so we would come down and we would actually you'd have a little group. You never wanted to go alone because it

Oh okay, I know that, sad okay.

I never did that, And will you step what were you studying at the time?

So I obviously studied psychology, but then little no fact, I also studied a Bachelor of Politics, economics and philosophy. So I wanted to be a politician.

Did you Yeah, I can understand that.

I was really invested in becoming the Minister for women at the time in Australia. Was a man who was the Minister for women doesn't make any sense. And I was like, I find that's so uncomfort. I want to change that. I want to work for defat, I want to change women's lives. I want to change people's lives. And then I think I slowly became someone else. And I always had this fascination with psychology.

Because the psychology is really interesting in terms of what you're doing now. But that path through the psychology at at university.

What was that? What did you learn?

I learned so much? I was but I learned so much. But then at the time, I had stopped working in the restaurant and I started working in child mal treatment research because it paid really well. At first, I was like, oh, this is I have this background and I've learned all these things, and this job is going to pay really well. And then suddenly I was like, it doesn't matter if this doesn't pay well. This is like what I want

It's food, no, no, no, but it's the same. And also when you started, you started out by saying that you cooked Sunday night dinners to make people, and there was a whole connection. It wasn't just to feed your friends or to have a great day shopping and cooking. There was a definite connection with people and making them feel loved, making them feel a memory of their family, making them feel ready for the week, making them feel making them feel understood and that you cared about them. And I

I always wanted to practice. I was like, I'm going to go back to practicing. I'm going to become a psychologist. And that was the trajectory I was on. And then I became a therapist for people in an entirely new way that I think only this generation and this like the last few decades have allowed like suddenly it's almost so much more efficient. Sometimes I say to people like obviously take my advice with a grain of salt. I don't know you, you don't know me. We don't have

Yeah why not? Yeah? Honestly, from one podcast which to another.

If we've heard the story of your university child days, tell me how.

Did it happen? How did you decide? Is it true that it started in the back of a car?

Yeah, okay, that's true.

I so, actually it started. I went to a breakup and it was when COVID was happening, and it was I've been dating him for almost just over two years. It was my first love, and I thought we were going to get married, and it just like devastated me.

Yeah, I understand that. Yeah.

I never ever thought that it would be what it became. I just wanted to do it. I always say to people I would have kept doing it even if no one listened.

Where did the idea of doing it in the back of your car come from?

Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot the back of the car. Well. I lived in a house with six seven people and we had very thin walls, so the only place I had that was private was my super Forester two thousand and seven.

Wh So you're still a university.

I'm still a university.

Yeah.

I started it when in my final year and I sat in the back of my car with my phone and I was like, today we're going to talk about imposter syndrome, and you know this is I'm starting this podcast. And I'd written a script as well, and I printed it out at the One of my housemates has a printer, and I sat there with my phone in one hand recording it. And then the thing in the other hand, and I had the overhead light on and only one of them works, and just just and also sorry, this

In my car. Did you have guests on your show or did you just do it by yourself?

And I did have guests, but they were my friends. So it's interesting.

I look like, come and sit in the car with you.

Yeah, they come and sit in the car, or I would go we would do it at their house, like I remember one of my best friend's Phoebe. Oh gosh, she's amazing, And we sat on the ground in her kitchen or like lounge room, and we had like a little stool in front of us, and we had like we were just getting drunk. And we recorded an episode and it's still up.

Which one is it?

Let's get friendly with Phoebe and you just talked about and I feel they've all given me permission now, you know, when we recorded these I didn't think that there was going to be millions of people listening to them. So we're telling them about where we went to primary school, We're telling them about our first pets, name all the questions that your bank asked you for your security code.

Yeah, alist year's success became more evident. Were you able to eat more kind the food that you wanted to eat? We were able to afford better food.

Can I tell you a secret? So the podcast took a while to take off, so I was working a nine to five job, but I remember the first time I ever made like a cent from the podcast. I went to this restaurant in Sydney called Toddi's. Everyone knows that it's so amazing. And I went to Totti's and I ordered a bread, I ordered a burrata, I ordered these tomatoes, and I ordered a chocolate torta torte. Remember that, Yeah,

Did you say that people like you or many people that I've talked to measure in a way there's success through the ability to eat more interesting food.

That's so true, And I think also I still look at the like now I have a lot more financial freedom, obviously, but I still find it weird sometimes to spend money on nice things like food. But I always think, like this is every night I spend and have a good meal, it's always the best story ever, like the the other

And all the episodes that you've done about dating and pasture syndrome, did people opened up to you about food?

Did food ever come into their conversation?

Yeah? And it's sad because when we talk about psychology and food, it's often around eating disorders and body dysmorphia and diet culture. So I remember this episode I did called the Psychology of Diet Culture, how to Embrace Our Body, breaking down exactly why our relationship with food these days has become so skewed. You know, it's no longer about out fueling your body, It's no longer about community and

With food and do you think that it's much more women clearly that have that issue, because we're all brought up to fit into the right size or to look a certain shape. Do you think it's changing though. Do you think amongst your friends who are in their twenties are thinking differently about food.

I think it is mostly women. Obviously, men also experience this as well, and it can be hard no matter who you are. But I think the older you get as well, the more you gain an identity where you realize that what you look like is not the most important thing about you. Your body is just a vessel for something deeper, for your soul, for your thoughts. And it was like this weird thing I noticed. I worried

Yeah.

Yeah, what is your food day?

Like?

What is your breakfast, lunch, and dinner or.

So it changes because I'm traveling so much, but I think about the best food di I can give you is when I'm at my parents' house and what I eat there so I always wake up. I love avocado toast. It's just like it hits the spot every time. And there's this thing called Meredith's goats Feta cheese. Do you have that?

Now?

I don't think I can send it to you because I've been breaking so many laws, but I'll come when you're in Australia. I'm gonna buy you a massive jar and you're gonna smuggle it back because it will change your life. It is the most amazing cheese and you sprinkle it over and it's the cheese is in this olive oil and this massive glass jar and you drizzle the oil. And I love having that for breakfast. Anytime I come home. My mom always has one of the

And can I ask you your podcast seemed to have taken you into the realm of celebrity. You're talking about yesterday with your fans and all these fans came to your podcast.

What is that like and how did that happen?

It's I don't know how it happened. I think I really don't know. I think people just they're looking for

A loneliness is huge.

We did an interview with Brian Chesky, who started Airbnb, and he as a kind of really interesting person, wanted to do something that invested in people, and he got in touch with the Surgeon General under Obama and said, you know, take just go away. Here's your money, just go away for six months or whatever and study anything you want to and see what's going on in this country, what's going on young people, what's going on with the

It's loneliness. You know.

When you said that, probably people really related to that. And people you know, are lonely with food with the people who are lonely, and they cook people. You know, in terms of my world, you see people coming into a restaurant with a table of six or eight or ten, or you see people coming in by themselves.

And he also said that.

Loneliness has nothing to do with being alone. You know that you can be in a marriage, you can be a father, you can be a mother, you can be cooking for twenty But it's a big thing going on, you know, which we're seeking to understand.

Yeah.

Absolutely, and I love that. I always say that on my show. I say that loneliness isn't your enemy, that you should embrace solitude. It's only natural. But also you could be surrounded by people and you could. It's just an emotional state. It's it's nothing more. It's an emotional state and you can get through it. So food is a great remedy, isn't it. Well, when you do feel that way about your emotional state? You might feel lonely, you might feel sad, you might feel missing someone.

Is there something that you would turn to?

Yeah, I actually know my answer straight away. There's this soup that my mum used to make when I was when I was sick. It's a lentil and silver beats silver beet soup with onion and chicken stock. I always eat that when I'm feeling down, and especially in winter. And then for dessert, I would be making that crumble that cobbler. It's so easy, it's cheap. I would I've made it so many times. And interesting you asked me that, because when the show first became really big, it was

I cooked good.

So there you go.

Well, I hope you don't need to have comfort food, but if you do, they do sound very delicious. Yeah, then thank you so much for coming. I was love being with you. Thank you, Thank you.

Can I can?

I tell you The other night when we had dinner, I said to my dad when I got home, I have I think I have a weird relationship with success. I'm always waiting for someone to take it away, waiting for my luck to run out. And I said to him after the dinner that I had here, if this is like the best thing that happens, if this is like the best that it gets, I'm totally happy with that. It was such a great meal.

It's going to have lots and lots of great meals.

The River Cafe Look Book is now available in bookshops and online. It has over one hundred recipes beautifully illustrated with photographs from the renowned photographer for Matthew Donaldson. The book has fifty delicious and easy to prepare recipes, including a host of River Cafe classics that have been specially adapted for new cooks. The River Cafe Lookbook Recipes for cooks of all ages. Ruthie's Table four is a production