600 - Ermahgerd Laura Dern, Best Date & Regrets!

From the Kiss Night This is Roz and Mocha. It's Roz and Mocha. What's going on? Hey guys, it's Bruce.

Uh between Raz and Mocha, who is your favorite?

This is the Roz and Mocha Show Podcast.

Once again, DM Deep Dive Time, y'all!

What do we got in the DMs today?

Katie writes, are all of your segments planned out? I need to know how you talk about something, then immediately play a song in relation to what it was you were just talking about. I notice it more with your FML segments and the news. Don't ever change or retire because I love you too much.

Honestly, like I will will be doing something and I'll I'll lose mocha for one second. Like I'll lose his focus. And I'm like, I don't know what he's doing, whether he's looking at the text coming in or like what's happening. And then literally as soon as we finish, the perfect song will come on. And for that moment what it was was Mocha just going and finding it.

This is called quick thinking. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Not planned out.

Yeah, it's uh it's quite interesting. But I can always tell when Mocha's doing something w because like'cause normally Mocha's like eye contact, eye contact, eye contact. Um, but then every now and then he's just got like four computer monitors and like all this gear in front of him and he'll just sort of disappear for a second.

So there you go. Next DM please share.

Melissa Ann writes, Hi guys, I need some assistance with this situation. If I come to a four-way stop and I need to travel straight through the intersection, and there's a bus to my left at the ts at a stop sign who let off one kid who is walking across the street in the same direction that I need to travel. If the kid walks straight the same way I need to travel, can I go through the intersection?

Damn it, Maury, why don't you take this one?

So where was the kid? All I see is just like are they walking in the middle of the road?

No.

Like you said the

No.

No, we're assuming it's a school. They said bus, right?

School bus. Let's say school bus. Let's say school bus. So more, you're at a four-way stop. You're going straight. Okay. To your left, coming from your left is a school bus. So the

The school bus is coming towards me.

Yes, it drops off a kid on the road, right? That kid starts crossing the road, but crossing the road in the same direction you're going. Not crossing in front of you, he's crossing in front of the bus.

But coming but walking towards my car.

No. No.

The same direction that you were driving.

Same direction that you're driving.

So he's going away from like he's going towards the ass of the bus?

Oh my god.

Walking in front of the bus. You would be crossing in front of the bus if you were driving. He's walking the same direction as your car is going.

Right. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

You don't get it.

Do you understand? No. No. Oh my god, okay.

Draw a picture. Okay. Do you have things that you the can you more? Do you have chocolate bars in there we can do cars and buses?

Here.

Okay, here. Kinder Bueno. No no no just stop, just stop.

I've actually...

I've actually never seen mocha in mocha.

Kinder Bueno is your car. My phone here is school bus.

Oh, over there.

You left man!

What did he meant coming towards me like this?

No, we said to your left.

School bus is there. The kid gets off the bus and is walking this way at this stop sign. You are gonna be driving this way as the kid the kids walking this way. You're driving this way.

He's acting like a dad right now.

And guess what? No Kinderboy.

Oh no, Market Maul.

No.

Did you just take it's kind of one oh?

Now I understand.

You can have your Kinder Bueno when you answer the question correctly.

The question was can I go? Yes. Yes you can.

Incorrect.

No Kinder Bueno for you. Guess who's got two Kinder Bueno? You got two. This is guy. You know what? There's two I'll share with you Ross.

Uh Mori, what were you how long have you been saving those Kinder Buenos for?

Since the start of the show. That was my end of show reward.

No no no correction. This is my end of show reward.

Sir you just saved mocha two kind of buenos.

No, but I n here's the riddle. Now I don't have one.

How ma if Maury, if you have one Kinder Bueno and Mokan takes your Kinder Bueno, how many Kinder Buenos do you have?

No bueno. Exactly.

Next yeah, chef, time for one more.

Yeah, no worries. Uh Beth says, Our kids love your show. Yesterday was the first day my youngest saw a picture of Roz andoca. He said, Why does Roz look like an old man? Cute. Wow. L O L.

Old man cute?

Nope. She's saying that the comet was cute, not Ross.

Let me tell you something first. Um the answer to that question is life. Okay, kid. Okay. It's called living, kid. I don't need you or your opinions.

Can I add something? I just wanted to say that you have really young skin.

That's so

Yeah, yeah.

Disgusting. So gross.

Like I meant your hair is old.

So you're a coworker to say to you that you have young skin?

You know what I mean? Like you don't even say, Oh, you look you look young. Like when you say I have young skin it makes me seem like you wanna wear it.

I was just gonna say the same thing if you Yum Yum skin it'd be perfect to wear.

Right. First of all, Maury, my skin on you, not fitting. You have to stretch me out.

Damn, no bueno, huh? Thank you for all of your stem coming in. We get a chance to talk about'em every day.

ROS and Vocus DM Deep Dive.

DM Deep Dive Time. This is the part of the show where we go through the uh DMs that you send in to us and talk about them.

Uh Shem, what do we got in the DMs today? What do people want to know?

Russell writes, the question I have is, have you guys ever treated a person in a way that you regret? Let's assume they didn't deserve it in hindsight.

Yes, many times.

Oh yes. And there's one situation I think about from time to time.

I I think that I am I'm the hero sort of, you know, obviously in my own story. Um, and I think a few other people's stories, but I I know that over the years I'm the villain in a few people's stories as well. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes through no fault of my own, um, just handling situations poorly.

Yeah, I just found out reas uh somewhat recently that I'm the villain in somebody's story. Are you? And didn't even realize I had hurt them. Um so after this is just before I had gotten married, uh and met my wife at the time. I was dating somebody that I dated throughout university. Uh we broke up for different reasons and then I dated somebody sort of in between.

Because they were in it for

A hundred percent and I was not. Yeah.

The long term or or at least the potential of it.

You were they were not a person to you. They were a like a a a tool, right?

Totally.

something, right? A way for you to get over something. Yeah, and it it sucks, man. It really, it really does. And You know, I wish that I, you know, could apologize to certain people, but they w really there's people that would just want nothing to do with me at all. And and I think that that's just part of life, realistically. Like

I think everyone who gets that question, they're gonna look back at their life and say, Yes, I can pinpoint one particular moment where I could Say that I regret that. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Happens to all of us. Next yeah, please show.

Sure. Paige writes, Describe the best or most memorable date you've been on with your partner.

Hmm. Mo Maury, go ahead.

No, but I thought he was gonna end it just before he said with his partner because I went on a really good date with someone else before Matt.

Okay, cool. Tell that story.

No, I mean like I've had some great pre Matthew dates, but I had some great Matthew dates too.

You've never had wait wait wait wait wait wait Does a date with Matthew trump all the other dates you've been on, or is that with somebody else? What was your greatest date?

My greatest date was with another guy.

It was.

Okay, go.

Because we did like we did it was such a fun day where we went and bought vintage books and they went for like tea. It was just f it was fantastic. I've had some amazing fun times of that.

That was the greatest date you've ever had.

Tea in books? Yeah.

Seriously?

Because I got the whole set of all Get Smart books that day.

What the hell is a get smart

It was my favorite T V show from the fifties and I got all the books.

How many books?

There was like eight books.

Bought eight books and had a couple of tea. Great estate out.

And how did it end?

What do you mean? That's when my dad walked in on me.

Nothing better with Matthew than the your father walked in and realized that you were gay?

You have no b

Better date with Matthew than the day that like didn't you move out after that?

Yeah, but th the date ended before that, right?

Date ended when you jabbed!

Walked in!

You have had no experiences with your husband that even come close to the time your father kicked you out?

Yeah.

We've had great times, but this was the most memorable.

Good.

By the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, we need to say this because we always have to pay respect. Uh that was how many years ago?

Oh my god, like over twenty years ago.

Frank, your dad, Frank the man, is one of the world's best gay dads that has ever existed. Absolutely. There is nothing that even resembles that kind of tension between the two of you. He is one of the best. We know that about France.

Friend, we have friends.

He's he does it. Frank did it right. He really did.

Well guys, I don't know if there's any other story that's gonna be great.

I have not. None of none of my stories of getting caught even come close.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

And I got one that happened in a church.

But did you have tea?

Thank you for all of your DMs. We get a chance to talk about them every day. You send them to us, they go to Shem. Shem brings them to the radio. Thank you, Shem. Yeah, man.

We are once again another DM Deep Dive. Thank you, by the way, for your submissions every day. Just know when you send them to us, they go to Shem, and then Shem brings them to the table.

Uh Shem, what do we got cut what do we got today? What do people want to know?

Roxana writes, Mocha, I knew it was you. I recently discovered your show and thought you sounded familiar. I listened to your show in Kitchener, Ontario when I was in high school. I remember you were a little chubby back then.

Ha ha. But that compliments you now.

Субтитры сделал DimaTorzok

What's wrong with that? Yes. What's wrong with that? We all were.

Some of us are

Actually no I wasn't. Yeah.

What's that first?

Uh Roxana.

Okay. Thank you for listening, Roxana. Yeah.

There's nothing wrong with that, right? Nothing wrong with that. Because you were you were like quite fresh like you were young.

Yeah. I still am. Yeah. But I was younger back then. Did I work out?

Living alone and working crazy hours, you're probably eating like garbage.

Everyone.

Right. Like were you eating fast food every day?

Almost every day. Not every day. And even cooking at home, it wasn't always like the healthiest.

No, no, because you who you were w you weren't with anybody. You were alone, right?

Anyway, thank

Yeah. And listen, we were all in the early two thousands, we were all a little bloated.

Absolutely.

Everything may be. Look at Maury. Look at Maury. And it lasts forever.

Yeah, amen.

Real quick, don't worry. Go through so far what you've eaten today.

Okay, so I had some sort of long chocolate wafer thing. I had a cheese platter, a nut mixture, and crackers. I had a tea and an arrow bar.

I looked over in your room earlier because I can see on camera your your desk and you had like a tupper like a a plastic container and it looked like there was like just like a hunk of round meat sticking out of the top of it.

Yeah.

No, that was a brown apple.

Oh it wasn't it looked me.

No, it was a charcuterie. Like it was like cheese, apple, nuts, and crackers.

Oh okay, cool.

See, we're all bloated sometimes.

Yeah, but we don't eat like uh we don't no nobody else on this show buffets before we

Continuously grazes throughout the day.

Maury, Maury does this show every day as if you would if you

Like

worked at an all inclusive right like Goes to the buffet I wanna have some of this. It's vacation time. Who cares?

Yeah, every day.

You eat like you're out of a And an all inclusive. You really do.

Uh next DM please Shem.

Uh Anthony writes between Razamoka, Mori is my favorite.

Next DM please shout.

Right. Sadiq writes, hearing you guys talk about Irma Gur, Laura Dern reminding me Reminded me of when you guys would always say, Look what you made me dur every time that Taylor Swift song Look What You Made Me Do played. Whatever happened to that song anyways, your show is the best.

Oh damn.

I don't remember Mocha ever saying that.

I'm sure he did though.

I use Irma Gerd talk with a lot of songs that we play.

Yeah.

All the time.

I'm sure you did. Now it does sound like you again.

It's a Mamadur. It's a Madur. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a classic. I don't know what happened in that song, but we'll play it. Thank you for all of your DMs. We talk about them every single day. So uh keep them coming in. Thank you for that, Sham. It was a lot of fun today.

Ros and Mocus DM Deep Dive.

Another DMD dive to get th- y'all.

Uh Shem, what do we got today?

Amy writes, finally, Mocha and Shem are going to race. I honestly thought you guys had forgotten about it. I mean this with no disrespect, but just by the looks of it. Mocha is in much better shape than Shem, so he gets my vote. Go Mocha. I should also say we're getting inundated with a lot of race comments, uh, some of them include. Only way that race is ending is with both of them on the ground.

I thought you I thought you meant race comments like race comments. You know what's funny is I'll I'll tell you something. When I was coming up with a name for this, right?'Cause it's Razumoka's runner, runner, winner, winner. I had thought real, real long I was I wanted to call it race riot. 'Cause I thought it would have been sick, but but to just imagine like and then I just started thinking of the commercials.

Sure, right.

Yeah, yeah. And for anyone who doesn't know maybe the history By the way, uh May 17th, it's all going down right here on the Razamoka show. Uh, myself versus Shem. What else?

Uh you wanna hear some other comments?

Okay.

Um the only way this race is ending is the both of them on the ground with injuries. Hashtag hashtag team ground.

Oh my god! Somebody! Somebody!

Pick the ground to win.

Uh some uh Eric Rose.

Yo rocks all's out when he's dying.

Air Grote, I'm on Mocha's side a hundred percent. Damn. Someone else said, remember when Mokan needed multiple chances to lift up Mori? Good luck?

No way you gotta bring up board stuff.

This was violent. Someone said when Mocha wins he gets to put Shem in a camel clutch.

Yo higher cheek style. Make you humble, bro.

Wow, okay.

And another one writes, uh LMAO one shem step is three mocha steps probably.

Oh, you know, that's just straight up disrespectful. Come on now.

Yeah, so there you go, May seventeenth.

Hurt words. Hurt.

Next DM please. I'd like to move on.

Yes, Brianna writes, Can you please ask Maury who he is referring to on his Instagram story? Uh Mori's Instagram story says one text from the right person can change your whole mood. She writes, We know it's not about his husband. LOL Oh no. Also, I love the show so much. You guys have such amazing cra chemistry, you make my day brighter.

A while ago you posted that, right?

It was just um sometimes these like Shem, you do this too where you see like a cool motivational thing. It was something I saw and I'm like, Hey, that's kinda cool'cause like it's true. Like, you know, if Sometimes, Shem, if you text me or whatever, like, hey, that's awesome. Yay. So I just thought it was really neat. So I posted, not referring to anybody.

Wait a second. So did you repost a meme or did you write that?

I reposted a meme.

So but you but at the time you had to have been reminded of a text.

No, I just like it just it just made me feel like when somebody texts you it puts you in a good mood.

I don't like when you're in a good.

Check your phone.

Yeah. Check your phone. Mocha just texted you. Tell me if this is one of the ones that makes your day better. Did it work? Oh man, now I feel like I have to text Laurie.

Okay, yeah, quick, quick, quick.

I don't even have my phone anymore.

Oh my god. Damn, team delete. Uh Shem, one more DM, please.

Sure, someone writes, I wish you guys could see the ridiculous grin I have on my face sometimes when you guys banter. It's that really lovely feeling you have inside when you're surrounded by good friends and they're joking around with each other and I sat there thinking, darn, I'm lucky these guys are my friends.

That's really nice. We are friends. Thank you for all. your DMs, keep them coming in, uh so we can talk about them.

What's wrong now, Roz? What?

No no I didn't. I didn't make I didn't no I didn't.

Yeah you didn't.

No we're all friends. Everyone. Everyone in this room and then everyone that listens to the show. We're all part of the same family. Thank you for your DMs. We'll do this again. Thank you, Sham. Thanks for listening to the Raz and Mocus.

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