What we do in our entire lives is we concoct this mental strategy, we have put together a pattern of behavior that we were taught to protect ourselves. Our parents taught us that, society taught us that, we taught us ourselves that from the first time we were hurt by exposing ourselves. We learned how to do everything possible to push people away and not be emotionally intimate. And if you really look at everybody around you, you will notice hardly anybody is open to real emotional connection, a...
Jul 11, 2025•6 min
So often, we acquiesce. Not because we’re weak, but because it’s easier. Easier to go along with his mood, his energy, his comfort zone—than to sit with what’s actually alive inside of us. If I just soften, smile, agree, maybe the tension will go away. Maybe love will feel safe again. But when I do that too quickly, without checking in with me first, something happens: I start to disappear. And with that disappearing act comes resentment. Tiny and quiet at first, like a whisper we don’t want to ...
Jul 04, 2025•15 min
So let's say out of nowhere, he's defensive. Out of nowhere, he's just like pissed. He's cranky, right? And he says something and you immediately feel, I want to get back on track. I want to be loved. what happened, he just got mad at me, and you're going to have reactions. So we want to make the difference between reaction and responsiveness in all thesedifferent scenarios. So the reaction would be, you're pissed right back. How dare he? Where is this coming from? And anger, right? Another opti...
Jun 27, 2025•23 min
You’re the Siren! You’re the beacon. He’s always in search of his emotional center, but he cannot find it unless you are shining. And you can’t do that from your head! You have to drop back into your feelings, into your body, into the truth of what you want — not the rules, not the negotiation. The Want. You have to go first. That’s the part no one wants to hear — but it’s true. You’re the one who understands how to create intimacy in a way he doesn’t yet. You can’t reconnect with him until you ...
Jun 13, 2025•11 min
If this keeps happening over and over again — yes, he may be insensitive. But ask yourself: Did I say anything? Did I share how I felt? Or did I just get angry, shut down, and silently file it away as part of his personality? That’s convenient for the subconscious — because the subconscious doesn’t actually want intimacy. It wants safety. So instead of going into negotiation mode — “Can I fix this?” “Can we talk about it?” — try this: pause. Ask your little self, “What am I feeling?” And when th...
Jun 06, 2025•8 min
There’s a reason we love the villainesses in movies! There’s a part of you that doesn’t want to be the princess — she wants to be the witch. The one who takes up space. The one who owns her power, even if others find it dangerous. The one who doesn’t care what anyone thinks. Let’s be honest — wouldn’t there be a thrill in being her for just a moment? That dark feminine energy — the rage, the jealousy, the desire to dominate — is not shameful. It’s not a problem. It’s part of you. The question is...
May 30, 2025•12 min
Some men cry on the first date. They talk endlessly about their exes. It’s a turnoff. And yet — here they are, showing up in your dating life again and again. They don’t show up for every woman. But they’re showing up for you. Not because you’re doing anything wrong — but because, deep down, some part of you connects with them. A part that feels safer rejecting love than receiving it. A part that chooses the kind of man you know you won’t have to fully open to. That’s not failure — that’s self-p...
May 23, 2025•6 min
Charlotte was one of the beautiful, high-achieving women in Sex and the City. She had everything on the outside — great friends, a fabulous lifestyle, success. And yet… she just couldn’t find love that lasted. The men kept dumping her. It was heartbreaking to watch. Then, suddenly, a man came along. He was a foot shorter than her, not traditionally handsome — but deeply emotionally aware, intelligent, grounded, and absolutely certain about who he was. He was a real partner. And Charlotte had to ...
May 16, 2025•7 min
The Question: “I’m still having a hard time navigating the sex part with Rori’s advice to touch him and caress him — but it’s hard to do that when we really don’t spend time together.” I hear from women 99% of the time about this, and it just makes me cry — because I’ve been through it myself so many times. If you don’t spend time together, why is that happening? Why are we accepting that? If it’s long distance, well, then yes — that’s part of it. But you still need to be having relationships lo...
May 09, 2025•9 min
This is a brilliant question — not for the reason you asked it. Should a man keep paying even if you’re well into the relationship? Ask him: “I notice that we’re sort of in a relationship here. Are we? Or are we just dating?” If you’re just dating — and you are still circular dating — he pays for everything. Just don’t step in.If he says, “Listen, would you pay for half of it now?”You say, “Are we dating?”And he’ll say, “Well, we’re dating.” You say, “Okay — no, you pay.” You could do that. The ...
May 02, 2025•9 min
On a date, you might find yourself smiling and nodding along while he talks—and talks—and somewhere inside, you’re feeling… invisible.Instead of pushing through or pretending you’re fine, try this:“You know, I really followed you through that story. I could feel how frustrating it was for you… and I’m actually starting to feel a little frustrated myself. I think I’d love to feel more connected—is there anything you’d like to know about me?”This isn’t about confronting him.It’s about tuning in to...
Apr 25, 2025•12 min
Something feels off on the date—but what is it, exactly? Why do some moments feel like magic, and others fall flat? What’s really happening when things don’t go as hoped? It’s not about him. 💔 You’re wondering why he talked your ear off and never called again. 💬 You’re replaying the moment he kissed you goodbye but asked zero questions. 🌪 You’re stuck in your head, trying to decode it all. Most of us aren’t actually on the date. We’re in the future. We’re strategizing, performing, and abandon...
Apr 18, 2025•13 min
Everything in Modern Siren has a slightly "spiritual" leaning bend to it. Everything is metaphorical, nature-influenced, and based on your emotional, deepest self, while also being authentic to that. It's essential to rely on the fact that even if you're not deeply feeling into yourself, who you are in that moment is also authentic. This might sound like a mistake, but from a spiritual view, it's all the same. Our judgment of ourselves often falls into a nearly religious context. So let me try t...
Apr 11, 2025•8 min
We’re talking about vibration—and what vibration does. Well, if we’re energy and everything’s energy, and we’re talking about Feminine Energy, then we darn well better know what that word “energy” means to us, right? To me, energy is a spiritual concept. For me, it’s pretty simple. Scientifically, it breaks down to atoms, molecules, quarks, quantum physics—all of that. It’s really there. We are really not solid. In one sense, we are air and water. Water is matter, but we’re really space between ...
Apr 04, 2025•8 min
Love, compassion, and kindness—all of it leads us toward better feeling . Isn’t that what religion is about? Isn’t that what Mother Teresa lived for? Pain is hard to tolerate. But you, love, are a Siren —you can hold it. If you’re sensitive like me, you feel it all: your own pain, others’ pain, the emotional noise of the world. But what if— instead of blocking you —it expanded you? What if it opened the door to desire… want… sexual energy? Because sexual energy is divine. It’s not a tactic. It’s...
Mar 28, 2025•11 min
How do you structure your time and space? How do you relate to the world around you? I've trained myself not to go back and reread what I wrote the day before. I also use a dry-erase board for notes, which stays relevant just for the day. Having these around has surprised me with how well they work for me. This is the closest thing I have to the Business Siren Handbook, which, if you don’t already have, is one of the most powerful things I’ve ever created. It contains everything I talk about—how...
Mar 21, 2025•11 min
If you feel empty, it’s because you don’t have yourself to hold onto. So what do you do? You dive into you . Instead of chasing another high, you take that moment and go: “Wow, I have this deep feeling. I am incredible. I have deep compassion for myself, for my sadness, for my grief. These things have happened to me. What a story I have. I feel so much. I am amazing.” You may not be as introverted as you think. You may not be living in as small of a world as you believe. There’s a whole festival...
Mar 14, 2025•11 min
There were times when I so badly wanted it to be all about him. After two dates, I’d think, he’s the one, I want him, and I’d want exclusivity right away. My coach said, ‘If you really want to give it a try and see what it feels like, go ahead.’ So I did. And I ended up on the floor, heartbroken. But actually? I’m glad I did it. Looking back at my relationships—miserable, wonderful, short, long, intense—I wouldn’t have wanted to live my life without some of those passionate, intense flings. They...
Mar 07, 2025•15 min
Most of us grew up with less affection, attention, and emotional connection than we truly needed. Even small moments of emotional neglect—things that may not seem like a big deal—become part of our subconscious patterns. They shape what feels “normal” in love .And so, we chase the men who give us just enough, because deep down, that’s what we’ve been trained to do. We mistake emotional unavailability for chemistry. The only way to stop choosing breadcrumbs is to start choosing yourself. That mea...
Feb 28, 2025•10 min
If you’re being breadcrumbed, the first step isn’t to fix him—it’s to ask yourself the right questions. Are you feeling frustrated and waiting on his next move? Did you invite him in, only to be disappointed? Why aren’t you circular dating? If you’re married to him, you still have to circular date —not dating other men, of course, but talking to other people, sharing, being open, and learning how to be more you . Because all the pushing away? That’s not you. That’s just layered-on patterns built...
Feb 21, 2025•11 min
When a guy is breadcrumbing you, instead of falling into the familiar pattern of thinking, “I’m going to do this, and everything will change,” pause. Take a breath. This is your moment to try something new. Ask your coach in any of the Siren School containers if you have one, or book an urgent care session. You can also join the Feminine Energy Workshop—whatever helps you quickly address the situation. The key is to experiment, like a scientist. Instead of going down the same well-worn path, rep...
Feb 14, 2025•9 min
The most important thing I can think of that would be helpful to you, if you're experiencing any kind of emotional discomfort or physical discomfort—anxiety, this anxious attachment concept of relationship attachment—if you've labeled yourself that way, if you're feeling achy physically, if you're just feeling emotionally up and down, if you find yourself thinking a lot about something, all of those are signs of deeply embedded grief. In other words, it may not be what you think it is. You may n...
Feb 07, 2025•11 min
If you're feeling stuck at work or stuck in your head, sometimes it’s because there are feelings you don’t want to feel. And I’m here to tell you that you can handle way more than you believe you can. You can handle way more of everything. Actors learn this; you can learn this, too. Yes, this is like a full-on master class. This is a whole program on how emotional creatures like us can feel deeply and allow it to affect our lives in big ways. Sometimes, we let these feelings become tidal waves t...
Jan 31, 2025•9 min
When you have a grief situation, make it a big deal and worship it. Let it be. Go into it. That's your key to the door opening I talked about—the open door to the rest of you. You are shutting down yourself. You are not giving him what he needs, which is YOU! He needs sex. He needs fun. Yes, he's able to have fun sex and grieve at the same time. Men can do that. They compartmentalize. You do not want to compartmentalize. You want to feel it all the time. And then, when I said about choosing wher...
Jan 24, 2025•12 min
All these feelings can feel overwhelming, and our first instinct is often to shift into masculine energy—organizing, solving, controlling. But what if we didn’t? Instead, imagine embracing the chaos and creativity within you. What if being “all over the place” wasn’t something to fix, but something to own? You could say, “Oh yeah, I’ve got a lot going on—I’m a creative!” When you embrace your feelings and let yourself simply be, you unlock a sense of peace and focus that can’t be forced. Think a...
Jan 17, 2025•9 min
The last thing in the world that a man needs from you when he's knee-deep in grief and weirdness is "mothering". The last thing he needs is for you to be there for him the way I want you to be there for yourself. The last thing he wants you to do is ask him how he feels. The last thing he wants you to do is look at him like, “Oh, poor baby.” What he needs from you is to be the fountain of joy he can't connect to or that he wants to connect to just the way we do but feels guilty about it. The bes...
Jan 04, 2025•11 min
I’ve been an approval seeker since babyhood—it’s all survival-related. So, if you find yourself asking questions—whether about a relationship, a situation, or even yourself—pause and reflect. Ask yourself: Why am I asking this question? What is my "why"? This alone can lead to powerful insights. Am I asking to be strategic? Am I operating from my masculine energy or my Feminine Energy? Am I radically accepting myself, or am I just searching for someone or something to blame? Often, 90% of our en...
Dec 29, 2024•14 min
What if the key to your healing was as simple as allowing yourself to want what you want? When you embrace your desires, you activate a deep part of your feminine energy—a power that helps you get what you want and finally have what you want in every area of your life. But too often, we suppress what we truly want. We second-guess ourselves, compromise, or let fear hold us back. Feminine healing begins when you stop apologizing for your desires and start trusting them.💖 Wanting what you want is...
Dec 15, 2024•16 min
If you find yourself mentally tied up in your masculine energy, constantly thinking when you just want to be feeling --- being a feeler is a personality type! I believe that we’re all born as feelers, and we learn how to not be feelers. We learn how to be thinkers. We move out of our feelings into logic. If that’s you, you might not even be able to always answer your own question: "How does that feel?" To learn to coach YOURSELF to experience the fullness of your emotional, Feminine Energy self ...
Nov 11, 2024•14 min
What an amazing conversation with Gemma Matoesian and Rebecca Ritter about an awesome Personality Typing system called "Objective Personality System" that's SO helpful, useful, and fun to dive into! I do not like "labelling". I don't like being categorized, and absolutely don't categorize anyone else - yet, this system is so subtle, nuanced, and wide ranging (512 types!) - and so based on how we each operate in all kinds of situations, I've found it deeply helpful personally, and helpful when wo...
Nov 04, 2024•42 min
