Romancing the Dungeon is a softcore D&D podcast about heroes navigating their daily lives while looking for love in a world full of peril, monsters, and heartbreakers. This show is intended for mature audiences as it contains adult themes. But like, you can listen to it with your friends, or you can listen to stuff that's adult themed with your friends. Do anyway. Content warning for specific episodes can be found in the episode description. OK, let me grab my notes last
time on romancing the dungeon. Following Una, she doesn't say anything. There's a Bank of snow hiding a frozen body of water where you were a moment ago. You are pulled away from the ice as you feel it kind of crack underneath you. You. Shifted what? Yours is different. Our abilities as we get older can manifest differently. And you don't really seem like you want to talk about it. Because I don't. So let's not.
The darkness. You start to see it take form, and there is a woman standing in front of you, made entirely of shadows. I can give you power what you need. I need to survive. And survive you shall, my little one. You see two large black wings just for all. From behind her a new Raven Queen shall rise. Devoted desire dreamier dirty. What's what's the point? You know, the fiery Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the family resemblance is just absolutely Hephaesta.
No, never heard of her. Dusk descendants, darkness, destiny, treasures and mine. What do you think you did to fear into religious moment? I trusted my family. The voice rings out. Fear and it's that thing of your eyes, you, you can see darkness and then there is a kind of creep of light in as you feel your body awaken. You can hear the groaning of a cot underneath you, the heaviness of a couple of blankets draped over you.
And as you toss and turn and shift and your body aches, there is just this brief moment before you feel the full weight of your body and the exhaustion that has piled on it, uh, just sort of wave through you. And as your eyes open and you kind of adjust to the light, some of the blanket shifts and your bare skin is sort of exposed to the cold air and you find yourself in a very, very small room.
There's to your right, uh, there's a small kind of gap between and you'll see that there's another cot. There isn't even a mattress on you to the bare lats of the bed. There's a small little chest, uh, and a kind of cupboard at the far end. The door is closed and the light is peering in from a small window overhead.
I feel like with this level of exhaustion that she has as well, she's like trying to rub her eyes to try and focus, but her it's, it's almost like there's this haze as well over her vision a little bit where it's like because she's so tired, it's just not shifting. She's not waking up as quickly as she normally would either. So she does kind of just sit up and it's just really trying to focus her eyes.
So like looking at like the wall far away or looking at the window just trying to get her eyes to focus on something. As you, as you are kind of looking around the room and trying to kind of focus on a couple of different things. It's just at the end of the cot at the edge of the wall there you can just make out some very faded colours and it they look like kind of like flowers that are drawn by kids.
There's like a circle and uh, misshaped kind of petals all kind of spilled around it and that's what your eyes kind of focus on. And, and as the sun rises out and more light kind of pours into the room, there is just that moment where in the dawn's R rays, the colour is that
little bit brighter. And you can clearly see that there is just this whole side of the wall that you are next to has just all these little childlike drawings faded with kind of the sun and with time as you kind of, as your eyes trace along it. And there's like, there's clouds, there's books, there's, uh, trees and kind of like, what look like animals all kind of like drawn almost like, kind of like a, like a full mural on this wall.
Your eyes land on 4 little figures and you literally see, uh, written in uh, sort of very bubbly jagged little letters. Bubbly jagged doesn't make sense, Uh. Trying to be bubbly, but it's like, obviously someone's learned, still learning. Yeah, yeah, it's that sort of like I'm I'm going to make kind of a bubble, but Nope, that's a very sharp bubble. You see Quilo una forest me and like a depiction of the Burbage family and there's a little
caravan next to it there's. This wave of confusion that comes over via seeing this and she's wondering like, am I still? Am I still am I still asleep? And she, she goes to, she rubs her hand on it and feels that it's there, feels it where it's pressed more into the wall in some parts and that in the others.
As you touch it like, as you, as you can reach out for it, there is that moment where it's, it's not, it's not, it's not muscle memory, but you, it's, you've got to make kind of the, the movements to draw it. And you just kind of hear kind of a snort of laughter behind you that doesn't look anything like me fear. And you like turning back over your shoulder. You see Quillo probably 8 years old, very even then quite sharp features.
Quite a tall stance, shoulder back stance he'd always kind of had. Yeah. And like, it's that thing of his posture is like it's almost like too big for his body. Like he seems to be kind of holding himself taller and everything, but he's kind of like staring and he's squinting at it. And he like the entire time he's just got this kind of big sneer
on his face. And he's, his hair has been kind of pulled over to like you can see it's kind of shaved around the sides, but there is kind of a long spindly, kind of like rat tail braid just sort of drooped over his right ear. He kind of leans into it and he's, oh, what's that? You just see him kind of reach and he has to go almost smudge it and then memory fades. It's like she's starting to see even though it's there, it's it's there. It's tangible, it's on the wall of the scene.
It's like, is this real? Is it because she's had so many, so many days now where it's like living in this thing of questioning her reality and questioning what is real, what actually happened, what hasn't happened? It's like no, can't be, but it is. But it feels so familiar, familiar enough to where she like she rolls out of the bed the same way I was like, I've done that before. Have I in this bed, you know, just these little things that are happening just like, but
that's there. No, just confu. There's a lot of confusion going on right now for her. As you, as you roll out of the bed and you kind of find your feet and you stand up, it is, I think of, oh, the room almost kind of spins. It's that sort of that wobble. You kind of trying to get a sense of your bearings again now kind of standing, uh, and kind of one hand reached out kind of to the wall opposite to kind of almost balance yourself.
You are much bigger in this room than you were when you first came here. And that it is that like, like the cots, their children's cots, you know what I mean? They're they're not like you were bunched up and. You see in this room at a different height, yeah. And as you kind of feel the, the warmth coming in from the sun's rays, you see out into what looks like the, the yard, uh, around this, this house, this cabin. And you just see it's just a field of snow and a, a tree line
beyond. And the trees look like, they look like shadows just sort of jagging out of the ground and you can see somewhere in the distance. Then just the, the, uh, sort of the hazy, uh, mountain, uh, scape the sky overhead. Uh, it, it's clear like it. And it's this sort of, umm, burning yellow and very, very sort of washed out blue, just that it's that crisp morning
sky. And as you get your bearings, there is a another sense sort of takes notice and there is a familiar smell of burnt milk wafting on the air. Kind of being blinded from the sun reflecting off of the snow and then smelling that like turn to to leave the room and kind of shake off this, trying to shake off this deja vu feeling. You reach for the door and as you do, you see Quillo again, about 8 years old, just kind of run past you.
He's holding like a small doll in his hand and he's kind of waving it over his head. And then immediately you see this young shader Kai girl, her hair in like 2, sort of, you know that I don't know what the Heidi braid loops. Yeah, like that with like lots of little kind of bows and feathers and all these kinds of other little bits and pieces like tied into it. Half laughing, half crying because. Oh yeah, she's definitely tears in. Her eyes, yeah.
She doesn't know if this is one of Kilo's games or if this is Kilo bullying her. And you watch as they spill out into the hall and that smell, yeah, it's, it's catching. It's not just a memory, it's actually catching. And the there is a faint warmth here. And there is under the smell of the burning milk, there is the the faint smell of smoke. And you can kind of even this house, it's own sort of aroma like, and it's kind of a cold,
damp almost lingering there. You watch as the versions of you and Quillo sort of race down this hallway. And as you step out of the room into it, you do see sort of an open area. It's kind of like a a living area. There's a small little alcove
that you can. You can hear sound coming from the powering and clattering, but you watch as these two little kids run, race towards the door, and as they do, it opens and standing there is Forrest Burbage, your father, and a bundle of logs under one arm, a small little basket filled with
berries in the other. Seeing this memory of her father more so than seeing herself and Quilo, Fear really tries to latch out to that because it's been so long since she saw him, since so long since he's been in her life. When she sees that memory there, she's trying to latch on and remember as much as possible about him. Give me a Wisdom saving throw. Dice don't fail me now, so 13. It's that thing you find yourself actually moving towards
the, the image. You know it's Faris because you remember this and you that memory of the this cabin kind of comes with, with him. And you watch as kind of Quillo ducks under his right arm and it kind of almost vanishes behind Faris's frame. It's it's, it's quite weird seeing him because it's that thing of you don't remember him being that big. And even now, as Thea, a grown woman, Forest is still quite a broad kind of built. I'd say Thea really sees Quillo's stance in Forest.
There's a big difference in the way Forest holds himself. Quillo. It may. It's sort of a. Posturing. Yes. Whereas for Forrest it is very much, you know, he's just tall. He's just tall and broad and big. And he is, he's quite a like Una, tall, slender with a little, you know, she's got a little bit of curves here and there. But you and Quillo are both quite lean, wiry. I mean, a couple years from now, Little Thea and Little Quiller are going to go into their awkward, lanky phase.
Quillo grows into it, Phia never quite manages to. Grasp, grasp. She's she's a giraffe on ice. Yeah, but you take, you take that from Una, uh, none of you kind of carry the definitely his height, but not his frame, not his build. No, I can, I can imagine I'm having like more like even for an elf, like quite broader shoulders. Yes, and, and, and Fuller, like a much fuller figure, like he's and like he, you can see he's wearing sort of like, uh, very heavy, uh, like a very heavy
dark green cloak. Uh, there's a pile of furs stuffed underneath it and all that's kind of adding to him. And you see that his boots, there's snow kind of stuck to the edge of them. And it is, I think of it as you kind of race in, you see little Fea kind of race in towards him. Uh and Quillo disappears behind him.
Varas just gives you, gives her like a nod and kind of a wink and you see him kind of mouth something and there's just this cheeky smile on his face as he again, he sidesteps very quickly and you just see you snatch the doll out of Quillo's hand all in that sort of moment. And he Forrest his laughter. You see him kind of shift more towards the that living room space and the the fireplace and he his laughter fills the room.
I think fear right now. She's smiling broadly, remembering the warmth that he would bring into the family because he was now we're remembering him now. He was the centre, he was the little happiness. It's where she gets her optimism from and she's seen that in him now. She's seen the playfulness that she has in him. Because.
Especially being around Quillo and being around her mother at her age that she is now she's she only ever sees what she got from them and it's been so long since she saw her dad she forgot what she got from him. Thea, Thea you. And it's that thing of you. You can hear Una's voice and as you turn, you see her standing in the kitchen and she's just holding kind of a, a large bowl under her arm and there's like a mix of like berries and grain in it.
And she's a lot younger than you remember you. You can kind of see like a smattering of like, I don't know if it's flour that kind of on her face and kind of some of it's in her hair. There's like a smear of butter on her apron and it kind of steps in towards you. And then she's much older now and she's holding like 2 balls in her hand. Thea Thea. And it's actually going to like just jumps kind of snaps her fingers in in your face. There is just.
That Thea just blinks and as she does, like kind of the warmth of the colours that you know that that filled from the memory has just vanished straight away and it just feels grey. A little bit of the colour like the, the, the cabin doesn't have that life in it. It is simply for walls and you can clearly see that like it had this place hasn't been taken care of though it hasn't been maintained and that damp smell is a little bit more present now.
Una just kind of moves into the to the living room and she sets the two balls down on a little kind of, uh, table and she kind of gestures your, you, you need to eat something. You, you, you don't look. You don't look well. This place is bringing back a lot of memories. I wondered if you and she kind of you just see her kind of like she talks, you know, for some of the kind of the loose strands of hair kind of behind her ears a little bit as she kind of looks around the room. Yeah.
We spent some good times here. It's weird, it's like I feel like I remember all of it but then I don't remember what happened after here either. Of well, but this was this was your father. And I used this as sort of a base camp at times. You know his work, my work, the
families. Work took us between Visage and Gale Shire, so and she kind of again, she kind of just gestures around the room as she takes a spoon of some very, very burnt looking porridge oats and you see her kind of take a mouthful. You were very young when we were here. I it it doesn't surprise me that maybe you don't remember as much. No, some of it's coming back.
You know, I've not even if I'm not even really looking at it when I either as we're we're talking, my eyes are are looking around at every kind of crevice every, you know, like looking at the table where the corner is chipped where I know Quillo, like we're throwing stuff at each other and one of us threw a book and it took a knockout of it and.
Just. Looking at those little things where it's like the scratches are on the floor and stuff where we were dragging furniture around and remember like connecting to those little things. Sweetheart and she had a gestures at the the bowl. Oh, Oh yeah. Umm, thanks. And she starts eating, but she's still looking around. The food tastes awful, like the, she clearly has burnt the, the, the milk and it has that sort of that acrid taste to it.
Umm, and you see her, she's, she's taking a couple of bites. She's obviously not enjoying it either, but she's used to to it. I think in a weird way for you as well because she remembers it from before and it's like I, I. I think it's also the distraction of the space as well. She's not really noticing the flavour. It's not hitting your. Yeah, there is there. It is that the of like you do kind of like as you take kind of the first bite of it, there is a hole and there is that memory of
like being on the road and. Oh, no breakfast. Yeah, and Oh no, Una's turn to make breakfast because Dad's driving and aired the whole family kind of looking around into this sort of like congealed grey slop and Una just kind of happily eating into it. And then like, Forest giving you and color the nod to start eating it as well. And like he takes a bite and then spews it up and then everybody just kind of laughing. And then Una being completely perplexed as to why everybody's laughing.
I think if I may take a little liberty, she's probably also remembering Forest as well at some point watching him how he sneakily got rid of half of it. At what other locations? Yes. And it creative ways he would do it where he'd catch our eyes so we'd see it and trying to get us to giggle. Yeah, it was that thing of like, he's like, hey, Uno, what's that over there?
And she'd turn and he'd like scoop half of it onto the ground and then you'd see him kind of like dragging his foot to kind of cover it with some of the dirt and that kind of stuff. Yeah, there is lots of these different memories and like life on the road and travelling between again, none of them feel tangible. Like none of them feel fully formed, none of them fully. They don't feel like a full memory. They feel very fuzzy.
Yeah. There's a sadness that kind of creeps over her now, in a way, thinking about these happy times. And then she actually looks at Una and. Are you finished? Yeah. And she kind of just takes the ball from you and she goes back into the kitchen. We've a couple of days here. We obviously have some provisions that we got from the twizzlebacks, but I think maybe and she kind of like looks to the pot. I don't suppose you're up for hunting you? Sure. Yeah, yeah.
I think if we go out, we go now we can go looking, maybe catch something with a bit of flavour and she kind of half smiles at you. See, it doesn't really smile back. It's kind of like it's, it's not really fully there. Just going with what Una's saying, she's not fully as much as she's looking at her, she's not. She's thinking in the back of her head. She feels like she has to ask Una something, but she does not. If you're we're not up for it, yeah, you can. I'm good to go on my own.
No, I, I I want to get out yourself. OK. She kind of taking kind of like 1/2 a bucket of water. She kind of like drops the the bowls into it and she's kind of poured all of it then into the big pot that needs to soak. We also have probably some firewood as well, so maybe you take care of the firewood and I'll find us something palatable. OK. She kind of just standing there almost uncertain or unsure of like what to do next or. Are you going now or? Yeah, I, I, I can, I can, I can
go now. I, I, I'll try to be back by midday. And she like she pulls on a couple of layers. You see what she takes kind of her cloak off from over the the back of a chair and she just, you see her take her, her blade whisper and a short bow. And she just heads out the door, kind of looking back over her shoulder and just again giving you kind of 1/2 a smile and
she's gone. Something about seeing her leave kind of triggers the question in Via's head that she wanted to ask and wasn't brave enough to ask of of Una while she was standing there. And she. She takes a moment kind of looking around the room again and remembering it and seeing it another color at the what it was
now. She grabs the posh with the balls in it. She sets it just beside the fire to keep the water warm to help loosen up the remnants, and decides to go out, get well, get covered up and go out and start trying to get some work together. Forward OK, give me a nature check. 26. OK, you like you head out the door maybe maybe 10 minutes after Una and you can clearly see her tracks like she's she's just beelined it out the door and she's gone straight towards
the the woods. If as you step out like this cabin here in this clearing, you are literally in the wilderness. This is this is as as far away from civilization as FIA has ever been. I can imagine there's a massive sense of calm familiarity about it for her as well, in a way. Where does that come from? It comes from being here before, like, like she, she's still clinging on to those little flashes of memory she got inside.
Like she's imagining where the caravan was always parked up at the one side and where it was parked up there so often there was divots for where the wagon wheels were. And then she can imagine then the other side of the cabin where there would be these like, almost like honeycomb stacks of wood that her dad would have gathered and covered for keeping the cabin going while they were there.
I think there's just that comfort coming from the familiarity of those little things, of remembering where they were. As those things kind of come back to you and it's like, Oh yeah, that's where dad kept the and it was like just sort of there was a part of the roof sloped and slanted out. And it was a kind of a little shelter for, for Adam that your dad was storing, including the firewood just to the rear of the cabin.
And it is that thing as, as you are kind of moving through the, the yards and you do see where the caravan, it's at the piano. That's where it was always parked there. And the horses were kind of kept over here and like all these kind of memories and it's via and quilo and forests anyway,
all had kind of different ages. And like as you round the, the rear of the the cabin, you there's again, you see, at first it is, it's just the mounds of snow, but the memory kind of comes back and it's like, no, no, it's like it's probably one of your earliest childhood memories kind of hits you and it's you and Una making a snowman family.
And like there's Thea and like she just has like 2 small little buns of snow on top of her head and like she has 2 little twigs sticking out of them to like be ribbons. And then there's Una, who's really, really tall. Well, like in comparison to Little Fear, but she has this like old rag kind of wrapped around her neck, kind of like a shawl almost. And she just has these like all of them have like jet black coal fries. And then there's Quillo. And Quillo has like jet black
eyes. But then his distinct feature is he has two twigs over his eyes. They're like make him look cross. And then there's forests. And it is just it's just a big fat snowman. And like he does, he has like this big, big belly on it. And there's a a moment where Una kind of goes up and she kind of Pats the tummy and like she says something and you can't quite hear it, but you see like 4 year old via just laughing, like
giggling to herself. And then Forrest coming around the corner and he's shouting and Una's laughing. And then he comes running over to it and he's standing represented. He makes the same kind of pose and he pushes out his belly via just again, it's that thing. She just starts laughing and Una just pelts the forest in the
head with a snowball. As you hear the twack of the snowball, you just hear snowfall and you turn back and you can see that there is a few scraps of logs, but they're sitting in the snow and they're wet and the memory is gone. I just kind of, I kind of, I kind of dig through the area to see like I know some of them are wet, but to see if some underneath are a little bit drier or if there's an axe maybe. You, you actually, you manage. It's not that you find any dry logs there.
They aren't like these have been exposed. You don't know how long they've set out here. Find a couple of pieces of kindling timber. All right, that you can. Reuse take. But you do find a small hand axe. It is dull, but uh, it's you've kind of pull it from the, the snow. The hand axe, I know it's kind of blood, but to see if there's any logs that haven't been split yet and going to try and split a few of them because I know the beat dryer on the inside and get some of that.
You. Yeah, you it's it's a task and 1/2. I I'm assuming she has a whetstone in the stuff that the those whistles back gave her. I just try and sharpen up the axe a bit to make it a little bit better for use. As you go to sharpen the edge of the, the Little Axe, you are beginning. I mean, you don't know if it's the cold, You don't know if it's the exertion of like trying because you've been at the, you've, you've kind of hacked into a couple of logs and
they're not great. Like you've been out for a little while and you're starting to tend to feel that fatigue settle in and that ache. Yeah. Yeah, and it's that thing of now just everything is getting a little annoying. Like even the like you're, you've as you're scraping the whetstone against the, the, the edge of the, the axe head, you feel how numb and solid your
fingers are. And it's that moment where you kind of you catch your finger against the edge of the blade and the whetstone and the skin is snagged and you cut your finger and you just, yeah, it's just everything is shit. It's like, it's that thing of like, I, I feel like absolute crap. And here I am out here with a shitty axe in the cold trying to get firewood. Yeah, I kind of an anger does spread in her a bit. It's like, it's like, why me? Why did I get stuck in this
situation? I didn't do anything wrong. Why is it me? Why I only ever tried to do the right thing and do the right thing by the people I care about. As you feel the, the, the kind of, the, the warm blood trickle down your finger and you kind of look at your hands. It's not a deep cut. It's just a kind of a, a sharp scratch, uh, that's drawn a
little blood. You kind of, you see how worn and cracked the skin on your hands are and the the memory like the, the coldness that's in them, the memory of being in the prison and all the weight of that kind of comes back. And then any amount of effort to do anything at this point just
feels pointless. Pretty much giving up she puts the axe to one side, she picks up the driest bits of wood that she could find and then even some that are not quite as dry to bring them inside to dry them beside the fire and she goes back into the house. She throws a couple of the driest ones onto the fire to keep it stoked and like just completely in a day she goes to lift the posh remembers it's hot kind of skulls her hands and drops it on the ground in
frustration and. Takes 3 fire damage. Very fair. It's not to the point that it's like, you know, molten metal, but it is hot and it burns and and now it's another thing that's gone wrong and your immediate reaction is to drop. You kind of half catch it. Water is sloshed. Some of the fire has gone out. It's one thing after another and you just feel wrecked shit. Shit. Shit and kind of start.
She kind of starts pacing in circle and looks around the room again and then looks over to where I'd imagine. Now I don't know if this is correct, but I'd imagine the house. There was a little table for the four of them to sit around to have food. But then there was also because of her dad and the work that he was doing, the result of his work table where it used to be. I don't know if the table is still there or not, but she imagines it in the corner beside one of the windows.
There's a, again, it's that thing of like, oh, dad had a, like a, a workshop table. It's a small bench. Like it's not this big sort of massive workstation that you remember. It is a small narrow bench that he would be kind of stooped over and sorting through bits and repairing that needed to be repaired.
Yeah, she kind of walks over there and stands by it and like spreads her hands out and is kind of leaning down on her arms and just sighing and looking down at the table and just feel like she is really just really feeling sorry for herself right now. Just really just over trying to be the +1 all the time. As you're standing there just sort of mulling it all over and the tiredness kind of wearing you down, in the distance, you see Una kind of coming back.
Seeing her when it come back she kind of snaps back to like Oh no, everything needs to look OK. She goes over the pot I say has cooled now because it's on the floor for a little bit and tries to clean it up and brings it into the kitchen to try and scrub it and is working away on that to make it look like nothing is going on. Una kind of burls in and OK, I have and there's just a thud and you see that there is a rather fat looking, if not small bore, uh, kind of on the bench that
you were standing at a moment ago. And she just kind of drops it with a kind of a thud. And she's kind of kicked off like the kind of the snow off of her boots. And now there's a trail of it indoors and she's kind of throwing kind of like the layers off herself. And she goes over to the, oh, I feel that you. The fire's gone out. Oh, sorry, sorry. That's OK, I caught and she kind of gestures over to the the bore.
Seeing it on her dad's table, there's a little sadness seeing the table like that being used as just somewhere to throw game kind of creeps over for his face. I don't know if I'm going to catch that or not. Is this all you were able to find? And she kind of picks up a couple of pieces of. The timber I tried. I'm still wrecked, Mom. I wasn't giving out via. I just asked I I can go out and I can get some if if you're tired, go lie down, sweetheart. Feeling guilty now, she just leaves.
As you kind of you're heading back to kind of the room is that they're kind of she kind of steps towards you and she kind of puts a hand on your shoulder, your, your hand, your hands, and she kind of takes them both just takes some time and she kind of gestures around the room. I'll take care of everything. Ifia goes to her room, she doesn't say anything to her mom. There's there's a lot of questioning going on in her
head. It's like, is her mom being nice or is this like is there snark or is she just imagining snark? As you head back to the room and you kind of throw yourself down into the cotton and pull the blankets up around yourself, you're a bit of a commotion outside the room as Una kinda goes to tidy. She's sorting at the fireplace. As she heads out, you hear the door open and close. And then sometime later she comes back and she gets she's
humming to herself. And it's that thing of as you listen to her, the melody is familiar and it's just, it's just this song she would hum constantly. And it kind of echoes around the cabin. You find yourself drifting. And as your eyes grow heavy, sleep sets in and you can still hear the humming.
And then then there's shouting. And as your eyes kind of dart open, you see Quillo standing at the door and he kind of looks at you and he just puts a finger to his mouth and you, he's kind of, kind of got his ear kind of copped with a hand against it. And you can hear Forrest's Anuna shouting. She has to go. He doesn't want her to go. The kids. She has to start thinking about the family. This isn't about her. She signed up for this. You're not a part time job.
You're not a part time thing that she can just drop in and out of. And you just hear Una back, back. I'm doing this for us. You know why? And then there's just a knocking on the door. Yeah, it's just an answer. Yeah, it's, it's a little bit late if you're awake. I've made, oh, I've tried to make a Stew. I'll leave some good night. And you just hear her footsteps kind of move away from the door. There's there's a level of distrust that has kind of fallen over for you towards Una right
now. There's just something she can't quite put her finger on about her that's it's just creeping in and she can't ignore it. And she's trying not to be outwards, outwardly snappy like earlier, which is I think why she ignored her there because she didn't want. A repeat. Yeah. You can hear that little the sounds of maybe Una maybe tidying up or whatever it might be. And a little while later you can hear her footsteps kinda coming back down the hall. You're a door open and door
close. It's only when the cabin goes completely silent do you realize that it is pitch dark outside. It's. Like. How long were you sleeping? And as you lie there and there is just a faint, like, almost like a whisper of light coming in the window, you just feel the stillness of this place again. But it is heavy and it is pressing.
I think not being able to go back asleep via does kind of sit up. I don't know if there was paper and pencils in the stuff that she received, but if there was, whether like she would be taking that out now. It's that would say kind of as you were, you know, pottering around the house, you found like the paper is slightly damp and stuff like that. So again, it might have been
near the fire for a small bit. But yeah, you have some kind of like writing supplies, so. This is the first time for Phea since like she wrote the notes to her friends that she's going to be writing something and it's something that she's never
really written before. Like before when Phea would write in her her Diaries or anything was either to recount the day that she just had and the great things about the day that she just had or like the letters telling someone how she felt when she wasn't able to actually verbalize the words even if it was something small. It was the same with her
brother. Whenever they would fight, she would write a little letter to them to say how she felt and apologize even if she felt like she did no wrong, but just to make everyone happy. This time she's writing her memories of this place, trying to put it down, trying to it very factual writing, very Quillo writing, trying to remember exactly what happened here and not through how she would tint it Rosalie, how she would tint her her her memories.
So you're, it's like, you're like trying to catalogue the memories. So like the snowman, the the dolls, the the the drawings on the wall, the food, the times between where we into we were coming back from visage versus leaving Galeshire and like trying to trace it all. And even then, just from that memory of hearing that her mom wasn't always there, it's like none of the memory she's had so
far, her mom hasn't been there. So trying to see if she can pull on like is was her mom actually there in those memories or was it just her trying to put that memory in the best version of what Theo wanted? Give me a insight check. Insight. OK, that's an that one. As you're putting all these down, it is that thing of like, you can't remember dates. It's not like kind of a it's not that organized. It's more like, I remember being
here when we were four. I remember being here when I was, you know, five and then so on. It's that like those kind of snapshots. And again, it's the, it's, it's memories associated to things rather than, uh, a kind of a real time, like like a linear chronological sort of map of everything.
And as you seek those memories and as you kind of try and put them in order, you find yourself via kind of, it's very difficult, especially as you go to search for the memories of Una. You can't fully remember how much she was there. And when she is there, there is just this complete mistrust of the memory. It's that thing of I, is that just something I told myself? Is that just something I I, that none of the memories feel? Again, it's that tangibility, the everything's a bit of a
blur. Everything's a bit of a mess as you kind of, again, it's like, it's like anyone trying to remember parts of their childhood. There's distinct moments that kind of linger, but. There's no attachment to to when actually tangibly happened or anything. And you again, it's not that you don't have memories of Una not being there.
You, you, you have memories of Una being gone and it's just you and Quilo and Forrest, but you're not sure what those memories after she left and didn't come back or if. They were dispersed in between. In between, yeah. As much as that rest earlier on kind of helped, that tiredness is still there. And as you are kind of, you know, writing these memories down and kind of keeping, you've
kind of lost yourself in them. It's only when you kind of get come to that thing of like, I've been chasing my tail. I've been chasing these memories and I can't make sense of them. You've kind of, you've filled at least three pages both sides. And as you stare down, like so many of these memories are happy. So many of these memories are good memories, but I don't feel like they're your memories.
And as you look around, kind of the room and your eyes having adjusted to the dark, dark vision. Yeah. But that thing of like, not so much. You've been looking at kind of having been focused on the paper and the words and the pencil. You kind of holding them up, kind of looking at them. The stillness is still there, the quietness. And there is just in the dark you can hear mumbling. I get up to seek out what it is with a dagger in hand.
You reach for your belongings, draw dagger, and as you kind of move towards the the door, it's coming from across the hall and you can clearly hear Una's voice, though you're not. It's a muttering, like it's like a whisper. You can clearly hear it just sort of catching on the quiet. I The curiosity gets the best of me. I. I. Hilt my dagger and I want to sneak closer. It's like out and sneak closer to the door to listen. Still check. Yeah, here we go, 14.
One moment. OK, I'll. Just check Una's passive perception. Yeah, fuck. Again. It's a thing of like, you turn the door and you lift it and you're very, very careful as you sort of slide out into the hall. And not, not not even fully, but it's just a thing of like, if I can get a little closer to the door, I can hear. And as you kind of glide, there is just one of the floorboards beneath your feet. Just kind of half groans and the whispering stops. I don't move. Yeah. Stay quiet.
Should I do understand? Maybe to hold it? No. What's your passive perception? 20. 22 Fuck there. It's, I think, like you're almost holding your breath and the door opens and Una standing there staring at you. Is everything OK? Yeah, I was just, I wasn't tired. I was getting up. I didn't want to disturb you. Oh, there's still some Stew and you see that she kind of pulls a blanket off the the bed. I actually can't sleep myself. OK, yeah, I was just going to grab the ball and go back to
bed. I am, and she closes the door behind her and she kind of takes the the lead towards the the living space on that little kind of kitchen alcove. I'll get you some. It's fine. I can get it myself, mom, it's fine. You haven't tasted my perfected or cube Stew. It's fine, mom. I can get, I can get it myself. It's just. It's fine.
It's this is what moms do. So, and she's kind of like glanced kind of past you and into the alcove and she's taking kind of the, the pot and you see that there's just this large kind of, hey, it's the same pot that the oats were cooked in and she's taking out kind of a couple of legs of it just putting into a smaller pot and. It's her back turned right now, yeah. A wave of inspiration hits over Fiat. She remembers the flower and she quickly takes a petal out and pops it in her mouth.
The flower that Julia, yeah, gave you. Yeah. You take the the petal from the the pouch and you place on your tongue and it has this. At first there is that sort of like faded floral taste to it.
Then it gets quite metallic and kind of just as you chew and tear it, it is that sort of like it, it's that sort of grassy, metally bitter taste to it. And as you swallow it, you again that it's somewhat coating your throat, uh, as it slides down and Una turns back and she's kind of, uh, she has that smaller pot in one hand and she's got a bowl in the other with kind of a spoon in it. And she's gone over to the fireplace and now she's stocking it with a a small little kind of
metal rod and she's thrown out a few more smaller pieces of timber onto it. The the logs you got are are are drying really well. And she's kind of like, hoisted the pot onto the small little black grill. You don't have to stay up with me, I'm fine. It's I, I can't sleep myself. I I think it's the quietness. How does it feel being in this place again for you? The cabin. Well, yeah. I mean. Is it sad because I mean, you did leave us? Does it bring back memories of
when we were here together? Speaking of memories, I am, I was gonna show you this tomorrow, but from under the kind of the, the blanket and like one of the shawls, uh, she has a small little book. It's very faded looking and you can see that the edges of it are frayed, but in sort of a deep rinse black, you can see the words the faraway wishing tree.
And like an illustration of like this big, big oak tree where like little glowing orbs sort of set in the background and what looks to be like a bunch of children kind of like holding hands around it. Do you remember this? I reach my hand out to suggest taking it from her. As you take it in one hand and she's holding the other, she puts her hand kind of on yours and she kind of, she kind of cops your fingers a little bit. I read this to you all the time.
I don't remember. And she kind of lets the book go. Is looking down at the the cover of the book now and running her fingers over it. It's embossed and is that kind of? Kind of. It's kind of faded in. Yes, yeah, it's quite an old looking book and kind of as you kind of look kind of run through it, you do kind of see again kind of the back of the book. And there is like property of the Thea Burbidge Library kind of scrawled on it.
And then like that's kind of half crossed out and there's a Quillo was here, Phia sucks sort of like underneath it with like kind of a a little kind of devil's head and a tongue sticking out of it. Sigh of amused disappointment kind of leaves Phia seeing Quillo having scratched that out. Una has kind of turned to like tend to the pot and just kind of stirring it. Yeah. Umm, you wouldn't go to sleep anywhere unless I read you one of those stories.
Having it in my hand now and haven't taken the flower. Has anything coming back with that? Everything. It's that thing of when she showed it to you. Nothing but that metallic taste from the flower as you feel it sort of sit in your stomach. There is this at first it's like, it's like taking peppermint and that thing of like the, the heat of it, uh, in your tummy. This, this isn't just oh, that feels warm. This is, this feels hot.
This feels like, like at first I'm almost even kind of painful. And then you feel all of that heat and that warmth just kind of course through your body and your muscles and everything feel a little bit more limber, a little bit more themselves. And the weight just kind of melts off your shoulders and it kind of rushes to your head in that heat. And you feel it like the blood almost kind of bubbling in the same way the Stew is kind of beginning to bubble in the pot.
And like the redness kind of comes back into your cheeks and you are awake. You are like aware, and you remember every story from the faraway wishing tree. All of them. The the little boy who wished he was a crane so that he could fly around the world and he grew wings. The little girl who wished she could speak to animals and then learned that raccoons have the
filthiest mouths on the planet. The boy who wished he'd never grow up, uh, and stayed a boy forever and now lives, you know, at the the wishing tree and all of these stories and Una reading them to you and to Quillo. And you remember the way she tells the stories and the voices that she would do. And sometimes she would even have forests kind of come in and he'd often be the voice of Grandfather Oak. The tree itself, all of it comes rushing back.
And there's just a moment where like as you're kind of skimming through the the pages and it's like it feels delicate. 2 little drops of water land on a page and you find your eyes stinging as you have welled up with tears. Realizing she has she, she takes her arm and the like the clothing on her arm and roughly wipes her face. As the Stew is good, it's ready. I mean, I hope it's good. I I didn't it's not burned. I and she kind of goes to take the the book away if you it's a thing.
She goes to take the book and she goes to hand you the bowl. It's kind of kind of lost in her inner thoughts, like embracing what the the the pedal is showing her. It's it's kind of just automatic where FIA lets her and she takes the bowl give. Me a perception check had advantage. 28. You it's that thing of like Una kind of puts you in the chair, she kind of sits you down and she stows the book away and like that thing of she's kind of almost trying to help you eat as well.
She kind of, she sees you kind of not in your body. It's that thing of like kind of mothering you a little bit. And you can, you can actually feel the wind hitting the, the walls of the cabin. Like there's a there's a breeze in though you can't hear it. You feel it and the draft kind of coming in through the gaps. You can feel the grooves in the chair. You can feel the texture of the the clothes that sit against your skin. You can taste almost the grass and the roots that the boar was
eating. You can taste it in the sinewy flesh as your teeth kind of cut and tear into it and there's a bitterness to the gravy. All of these things kind of well up your senses and you see somebody outside the window. There's a figure in the dark staring in the window I don't know if anyone's looking at. Me, but my eyes have darted up. On her, staring at the window like attention has kind of set over. She'd kind of gone back to the book. A little bit and then seeing you
kind of stand up and stares. Fear, fear. Are you OK? Someone's outside and she goes to to look where, sweetheart? I point in the. Direction of where I can. See the figure. I. I can't see anybody. And then you kind of feel like at the back of her hand to kind of press against your forehead. You are, you are burning up. Umm, are you feeling OK? I feel fine. And my eyes are still. Is the figure still? There, because I'm still staring. Yeah. Can I make out any shape of the
figure? Or anything? Or is it just a? Silhouette. It's a silhouette. They're but they're tall. OK, and even though you can't see their eyes, you feel them on you. Does it feel familiar? Yes and no. OK, it's a. Deja vu. Almost. Just. Kind of looking at this figure then my eyes. Slowly pan over to Una. You're. Beginning to worry me. Fi, I think and she kind of goes to take the the bowl from you. No, I've gripped onto the. I think you need to go to bed, no? Sweetheart, there's there's.
There's nobody out there. There's there's nothing out there. There's no Nobody knows we're here. I go and I sit down and I kind of keep my eyes. On Una. I'm angelic. She walks to the window. Fear. There's nobody there. Is the figure still there? The figure has come closer. And. You. Watch as kind of like Una, like she's pointing out the window, you see them kind of moving right towards the glass. Is the feeling increasing? As they're getting closer,
there's an like an anxiety. Beginning to well up all the while you feel them kind of watching you, staring at you. And as Una goes to kind of draw the curtains, like she she pulls as she half hesitates and she shots them. Sweetheart, it's time for bed. No, I'm. Fine. Yeah, we have a couple of days. Here. You need to catch up on your strength. You need rest. I know, I know I do. But. I'm fine right now, it's late. I know. Stop treating me like a child. Right now I'm fine.
OK good night. And she leaves Pheas thoughts. Go back to. That memory she had before, just before she took the petal of her and Quillo listening at the door. To her parents, just. Trying to think of other Times Now that she has this clarity on her, where things were not so rosy between the two of them. Give me an insight. Check straight roll or just Oh, no advantage again. Vantage, Yeah. At 21. As you watch Una.
Like drift out of the room and she kind of puts a hand on your shoulder, kind of giving it a squeeze. And down the hallway, you hear her door open and close again. All the while you're still staring at the the curtains, and they're just this kind of very faded, ratty cloth kind of stuff to still have hanging there. You can't see the. Figure anymore but. You it's, it's, it's a feeling. You know they're on the other side. You know that there's somebody out there.
You. You try and go back to those memories and it's that thing of as you fall back. Into them. It's like plunging your head into ice cold water and it is a rush for you, you. Hear. Forests and Una barking at each other, tearing strips off each other, journeys to and from Visage to and from Galeshire, on the road, in the cabin, in Tesrab, always fighting, always bickering, Una never around.
All these moments where Boris would fall in on himself and close off to Ye, and over the years that frustration and anger almost turning on Ye every. Now and again Una flitting in and. Flitting out until she no longer appeared. And it's that moment. Where? In that clarity, those hazy memories. Because for all the memories that there are of those, there are so many. More or Uno wasn't. There so many special moments, so many trips, so many birthdays.
Holidays all the SO. Many firsts that she wasn't around and the toll that put on the family, the toll that put on forests. To be both mother and father, to be both care and provider. I think in this clarity. That she has she. Sees where Thea's mask emerged of this happy presence as a yin to the Yang of her father being withdrawn and reserved. She wanted to not cause any more to him from what she could see he was feeling. That's where she sees where she's.
Built up this persona that. She always tried to push. To push out to her own detriment to suppressing how she felt. To make sure everyone else around her felt OK. How's that realization? Hits and it hits hard via You feel that heat in your stomach become. A stabbing. Pain take 11 poison damage and that metallic. Taste in your throat. Bubbles up and you can taste blood. She feels like she wants to throw up, so she. Throws up in the. Bowl, if anything's going to
come out, you, I think. It's it's more of a hacking. Than a yeah a vomit but when you do it is just blood. Very freaked out by this. Again, she goes to cover the evidence of. It, but it's. It's different this time. It's not where she was when she was with the burnt porridge trying to cover up and make things nice for everyone else's sake. Now she's. Cleaning and covering up. For her sake as you stumble into the kitchen.
And again you can. Like you feel that knot tighten in your stomach, that presence outside shifts. It's almost like it moves with you as you move through the house. And here now it's, it's on the other side of the the cabin looking in. And as you drift kind of between the living room and the small little galley kitchen, cleaning and hiding the the evidence, you feel its presence and that stillness just bear down further and the entire room goes dark as you see the, the light from the
fireplace. Just it's just, it vanishes and you're standing in pure darkness and there is just a laughter echoing all around you. Kind of laughter is. Menacing at first, it feels like. 100 people are. Laughing. But it is just one voice. It is shrill and it is sharp. It feels cutting. It feels mocking. Little. Bird lost in her memory. I will leave the episode there. Oh, now you've been listening to Romancing the Dungeon with Louise.
As Thea and me, Deckham, as your Dungeon Master, listening back to the episode that we recorded. And this is the fourth episode that Louise and I have done solo and there's many more to come. I'm really, really grateful that I get to explore such heavy themes and engage in some really emotional role play with the players around my table. But I do want to flag that it is important to do regular check insurance with the players at your table, not just the initial sessions 0.
But as the campaign goes on, I promise you you'll only end up getting way more out of your table and your story if you do regular check insurance to make sure that everybody around that space is comfortable and enjoying themselves. A big thank you to Stephen Tynen. And Abby soiree for. Our theme song, Fight for Each Other, the title card and artwork for the podcast series is by Daisy Designs. And for more from DA Dungeon, why not check us out on social media at DA Dungeon on all major
social media platforms. You can check out our Twitch channel where we stream every Monday and Thursday with different shows. And wherever you're listening to this podcast, we would love if you would give us a thumbs up, leave a five star review or a comment. That's it for us for this episode. We're back in two weeks time. We'll see you then. Is there any? Also, just as an FYI, this is. Evidence that I can be. Incredibly wholesome as Adm Oh yeah, 100% it's it's here. It's.
Captured. I'm ready to be emotionally tortured now. I didn't say I was constantly wholesome. No, but it feels like you're probably up to this level where it's like. Die what? No, I'm not setting you up for heartache.