Romancing the Dungeon is a softcore D&D podcast about heroes navigating their daily lives while looking for love in a world full of peril, monsters, and heartbreakers. This show is intended for mature audiences as it contains adult themes. But like, you can listen to it with your friends. You can listen to stuff that's adult themed with your friends. Do anyway. Content warning for specific episodes can be found in the episode description. OK, let me grab my notes last
time on romancing the dungeon. What are you to me? You see Una right after her, Una's mother, and so on back beyond this line of Izodrim women. Our mind says you carry my curse. Where's Silas? Silas left Ronald and Claudine spoke to him. It just wasn't the right fit for him anymore and he left. Listen, you're new, don't ask Ronnie or Claudine. We're a family around here. You could be part of the family or you could leave too. Do you understand? I do know.
Silas asked that I give this to you. You see a small little automaton figure of a little ballerina. Via As Claudine closes the door, a chillness settles over you and you kind of find yourself pulling at the edges of your clothes, pulling at the edge of that your cloak, kind of wrapping it around yourself a little tighter. For a moment it kind of just that it.
That interaction seems a little unsettling, but then you realize that the wind has picked up a small bit and the clouds overhead, those that those dull, heavy grey clouds are now blustering. You see a lot of the other members of the camp, the comfort or the fire seems to have diminished somewhat and they've kind of spent it off to their own kind of spaces, their own tents and caravans. You don't see any sign of Talon. You don't see Nana Rash or Sykes. What are you doing?
With this little box in her hand that was left behind by Silas and just feeling that chill kind of wash over her, she she decides to to to make her way to her quarters and wash her face and try and recenter herself a little bit. You slip inside the small caravan that's been kind of given to you. It's, it's strange, The whole space inside kind of feels no bigger than the box room you had at home above Burbridge and Sons.
As you step past the bed toward that small little countertop with a Washington basin, putting the music box down to one side. There's obviously people as part of the fail out who kind of handle maintenance and cleaning and kind of setting up. And there's a jug with kind of fresh water as you go to wash kind of the the the grime of the day off of you. You just hear the box. There's a small chime from it.
I I shake the water off my hands and rub any drips that are remaining off my face and I go over and I I pick up the box and look at it. As you turn back to kind of reach for the box, there's somebody in the carriage, there's somebody already holding the music box. I kind of stand a bit more alert looking at this figure. And you recognize it. It's the that the silhouette, it's the shadow of that woman that you have seen in your dreams, that you have seen in your waking moments as well.
The darkness seems to just envelope her. The darkness off of her isn't the dark of night. Everything is slight has got this sort of shady haze around it. She's holding the box up. It's kind of let out a sigh and my shoulders drop a little bit, realizing now who this presence is in my space. Not like it's not ignoring, but it's, it's, I go and I, I finish drying off my face and setting down the cloth and stuff like
that. And I just kind of stand there staring at her a little bit, not expecting me or anything, just looking and waiting. She looks as if she's in a cage and you see she kind of turns the box ever so slightly. Was left behind for me from someone who, well, I don't know what happened to them, but. Trapped between 4 walls and she tilts the box. She she seems utterly fascinated by this little clockwork. Would you, would you be gentle with it, please? Why?
That's all I've got left of someone who's nice to me, said who free. I'm not going to be free for the rest of my days. Thank my mother for that. Sometimes we need a little help, other times we must find all the strength within and free ourselves. And she gives a sharp turn on the little brass key. You hear the clockwork motions and the music gets a little faster. I kind of, I reach out to take it off or after hearing how not delicate she's been with it now.
She lets it go. I guess it's kind of where I was always going, wasn't it? Being trapped by decisions that weren't my own. Is this our curse? You have your own. Key. It doesn't feel like it. It's never felt like it. I think now everyone needs to start to realize it's never been my choice, ever. It's been Quillos or it's been my mom's, or it's been whoever we've been following since becoming, I don't know, heroes or whatever that bloody means.
I just feel like I've been following other people's paths all my life without question and I don't know whether that's my fault or not. So stop if they won't come to save you, save yourself. Find Kiki. I'm too tired for all these riddles. Then give me something and I will give you the answer. I want to know what is this curse that we carry? And in Thea's mind, her memory goes to her dad's forest.
It was one day where it was just him and her and they were in a field together and they were making flower crowns and she was stacking more and more on top of his head. And just this pang of love and loss wafts over via as she thinks of this moment with her dad. As it kind of floods over you, it is that wave of it was, it was, it's a perfect day. It's a perfect memory. And you can see him. You can see him there kind of just which is these, this mound of like orange and blue flowers
kind of tangled in his air. There is, there's just, there's just so much joy in it. You can see her, the Raven Queen, just at the edge of the memory. The absence of love, a love lost, the void, Nothing. I can fill it. I will take these memories. I will take this hurt and for a moment fear that. That nostalgia, that joy, that hurt, that sadness, that love. You can feel it. And then it is numbed. And as you're sitting in that moment, she moves slightly.
You see the silhouette sort of sink, and a hand reaches out for yours. And the skin is this wonderfully delicate greyish pink as the hand reaches for you, fearless coldness. And then it wraps itself around your hand and you can just make out a very, very gentle smile on her face, deeper in your heart. This question has said, what is love? Why does it feel? I can never quite find it, That barrier, fear that warm. It's always seen on the climate. It's not you, it's the curse.
It's the burden that you, your mother, and every other woman of my blood must carry her. And the hand pulls away. I once found that feeling, that curse, I have turned against her. I have used it to protect you, to protect your mother, to protect all of my children. I spurned the one who cares for love. I saw the devastation, her power cancellation, and she marked me. She tried to twist and turn the world against me, and I've turned my back on it and her ever since.
They think they want one. They think I am defeated. But I have persisted. I have survived, and you will too. And the cabin fills with light, and she's gone. So the curse we carry is Hadonna has locked us off from love. Am I getting that right? That bitch? This kind of slaps it.
It takes it like, like me, it takes for you a second for this to kind of settle in. And as it does, this rage builds in her against Hadana. Cause all her life that's all she's been interested in, thought about, read about, felt and wanted. Just as fury now just takes over her and this anger, so much so that she is grasping the box
that has the ballerina inside. It's so hard that when she looks down her knuckles have gone pale until she just releases the the stress from her fingers and she takes a deep breath. She goes and she lies down to go to sleep. This anger and resentment, it's like nothing she has ever done has been her own choice. It's been Hadonna, or it's been her, her brother, or it's been her mom, or it's been even even the Raven Queen. It's been something that's been
completely out of her control. Her mind just drifts. As sleep starts to kind of overtake you, you, you are thinking of Nate, Hephesta, Cloda, and AJAJ of all else. And it's that thing of like as you drift off, his name is the last thing you think of. Just out of game, right For you, with all of this, with all this rage running through you and this sort of energy, Thea feels kind of not closer to herself, but something about you feels like it's kind of come back.
You feel kind of connected to parts of yourself that shut off. Your blessing of the raving queen has been restored and you've levelled up. The knocking on the door via kind of erupts out of nowhere. Like you. When did you close your eyes? When did you fall asleep? How long were you sleeping for? And again, it's quite a persistent knock. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Are you? Are you? Are you ready? Oh my God, one second I'm just. This wave of realization washes
over her. If you're if you're saying James's position outside, you'd probably can hear a lot of clattering and banging as she's like trying to get dressed and get out as quick as she can and she basically nearly falls out of the door of her carriage. Yeah, he's, he is standing there as you kind of spill out slow yourself a little bit, No. Look, I'm here. I'm ready. Ready. Sorry about that. How set are you on heading into boudoir?
I scale of 1 to 1010 being utterly, totally cripplingly disappointed if we're not able to go. I'd say 12. It's just a Claudine and Ronnie stopped by this morning. They were saying they weren't too happy with the numbers that I'm taking in. So I figured maybe I'd work on react to small bit. Maybe you could give me a bit of advice? So we're not going into town then? You kind of like what what, what are you looking for exactly? What do you what? What do you need?
I'm just, it's more just scout to stretch my legs a little bit. There is a couple of bits I do need but it's just to get out, get some fresh air and then come back. We, we can, we can, we can rehearse around the camp. I'm a I'm a walking talking kinda fella. I feel like I just need a little change of environment just for an hour or two. Why? Don't we get a little Food First? OK, set ourselves up for the day and we can talk about the ACT maybe as we're. As we're evening, yeah, yeah,
sure, sure, sure. And and whatever you're looking for, I'm I'm sure we have it here at the camp, but if we don't, we can ask Ronnie. That's kind of his thing. He kind of manages the inventories and supplies and stuff like that. So. Oh I totally get it, but it is it is to get stuff, but it's more such to just stretch my legs. We'll have breakfast first, OK, And we'll figure it out then. Sure, I'll. Save it yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK. So I'm not saying we're not going.
We may go later. Well, I think what I'll do is I'll have like, if you need to work on your ACT, that's totally cool. I'll have breakfast with you and help you best I can. I don't know how well I can help you, but I'll try. And then, then then then I'll head into town after that. Look food 1st and we can figure it out then. But that doesn't sound like a bad plan that just maybe there's another plan, maybe there's
other options, just. OK, I still I they do want to go into town, so yeah, even if that means going by myself, that's no problem. If you need to stay here and work on your stuff, that's cool. And I kind of take off a little bit, just happily bobbing along, heading towards breakfast.
He doesn't kind of immediately follow and you do see Nixie and Willow are SAT outside kind of the little mess hall tent that is always kind of built up and you see kind of they've kind of perched themselves outside away from the main kind of group and they both kind of just look at you smiling. Morning. Morning. You seem to have attracted a small puppy. Oh. Yeah, he's fine. Maybe even a bit of discipline, huh Sheamus? What do you mean? I'm not here to discipline anyone. Ignore Willow.
She speaks before she thinks. She speaks before she breathes. You are going to help Seamus work on his act. I heard Claudine and Ronnie, we're talking to him. Yeah, yeah, I said I'd help him out a little bit. Sure. Yeah. Are you going to have him just vanish and reappear mid reaping or? I don't know, we haven't talked about it yet. I mean if you have better suggestions, I mean it's his stuff is not my area of expertise at all. He just asked if I'd give a hand
and I said I would. I'm probably not going to give him any good advice though. I'm sure whatever help you give, he'll appreciate. Can I inside checker? Because I just feel like there's some sort of undertone going on here. I'm not 100% sure it's a 12. Again, there is that sort of uncertainty. It's like she's She sounds friendly, but there's something in the undercurrent of her voice that makes you just kinda what does she? What does she?
Mean something and she's skilfully dancing around it. Why? Why such interest? Nothing else we need to do around camp until the afternoon show. Do you fancy him or something? Seamus and then like Willow, just like coughs on the bread roll. No, I don't. It's no, it's OK if you do. If you want, like I'm looking around to make sure he's not approaching just yet, I can. I can talk you up to him if you're if you're interested. I don't want your sloppy seconds. He's. Not even.
He's not my sloppy seconds. I don't. Want your sloppy firsts? I don't like Seamus. And at that point, Sheamus is now standing right behind you. Yeah, you heard me, Sheamus. I don't like you. All right, I guess. Sorry. And he's there is just this weird energy hanging around. Go practice your ACT somewhere else.
And she kind of just storms off. Willow kind of looks at you, kind of gives you kind of a scowling look for you, but then she's also got this big shady grin that she can't hide either, and she kind of runs off after her friend. The what did I? What did I do now? Absolutely nothing. I I don't know what is up with them at all. Oh, OK, we better get in if we want to get something before Cook comes up.
Yeah, and he does. He kind of spills into the tent and immediately you just hear help and you see kind of calling from that same spot in the little mess tent Nana. It's like a rash scowling at you. I give a little salute towards them and I just walk towards getting some food. You kind of hear just kind of the patching of the table from Nana Save Jessie Oh. Thanks very much. I'll just grab a bit. I'll be right over. It's the same food you've seen now that the last couple of mornings.
It's it's tasty, it's better than you would expect food on the road. In fact, you don't think you've ever eaten as well. On the road, Yeah, on the road. Like it's baked eggs, there's bacon, there's hot coffee, fresh bread rolls, there's a small little tray with little pastries and little tarts, slices of cheese. Yeah, it does. It does scratch an itching fee his brain. All right.
Because certainly, like when they were travelling as a family of four, it was like everything was rationed and monitored until you got to the next town or village. And then even then you would try and like keep costs low. But I suppose she kind of tries and quells that a little bit in herself where she's like, oh, well, they they do take in really good money at the show, I suppose. Maybe that's why. Seamus kind of has filled up a
plate again. It's kind of a little bit of everything and a little bit extra. And with kind of a mouthful of bacon, he kind of gestures down to Nana and Rash. Yeah, it looks. I give him a little nod and I start walking that way and then take a seat at the bench with them. Have you had cooked bacon? Yeah. No, not yet. And he kind of slurps back some of the fat, whatever it is they do with the peppercorns, bacon,
just. And he kind of makes a little French, like a little chef's case, like. Yeah, I mean, it's the best food I've ever had on the road by a long you. Hear that cook? And she blushes behind the little kind of makeup, kind of little hatch. Nana gets a seat for Seamus, and there is there's enough room for the five of you to sit around the table. So do you want to chat about your ACT now? I can't maybe just tuck into
this. First he kind of, he just, he was scoffing the bacon from the counter to the table, and now he's kind of completely slowed himself. He's picking at the food. I I start eating mine quickly so I can kind of get ready to roll. How did your show go? And Nana kind of just pipes up. I it went good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I'm still doing all right. I hope. I hope people continue to like it. And you're part of the the the matinee performance later.
The what performance? The midday performance, the matinee. You know the lingo, the language. There's a matinee. No, they've, they've moved it kind of forward a little bit. So Claudine and Ronnie want to get back on the road. So we're all heading out, some of us to head back early, get the caravans ready to go. So it's a bit of a matinee. And Dixie William Willow didn't tell you? No. And Shamus swallows a hard mouthful of eggs. You didn't mention a shamus.
Slip a mind. How far away is it? At what time? Like how many hours until the show? Oh. You've you've got about four or five. James, I'm so sorry. I do want to just pop in and pop out of town. I'll see you later. I'll be back. I'll be back in time for the show. And I get up and I start and. Nana kind of takes you by the hand. I couldn't have a a small quick word with Jeff.
I won't be long, I promise. And she kind of looks at James, she takes you out of the, the little canteen area, kind of out to the main camp and a little bit kind of closer back to where your own hitched wagon is set up. Yeah, I, I know you're kind of finding your feet with, with the performing and the. It's not really a delicate way of putting this to you, I guess. Claudine stopped by last night the middle of the night. Wake up, Matt. Morning, Matt. What?
She just came into my cabin. You don't really want to be upsetting Claudine and Ronnie. How am I upsetting her now? Just they do a lot of stuff for, you know, for the troop. Yeah. And they've taken myself and Sykes and rashing, OK. Yeah, but how am I upsetting her now? What? What am I doing wrong? Why didn't she talk to me? She just feels that you're she wasn't giving out. Don't don't think she Claudia doesn't give out. You know, they have their way of doing things.
You have your way of doing things. Just maybe let them. Maybe let them do things their way and try not to get in their way. Yeah. Oh yeah. No, I, yeah. So you'll help Seamus with his act. Yeah, I'll help him real quick before I I head off to town. You might not want to do that. Why? Not. They like, they like to keep the performers so like behind the curtain because if you're in town, everyone can see you and you know, they know, you know the, the, the whole enigma of
the. That doesn't. Show. I just want to go. I made some money and I want to go and buy myself a new journal and I want to buy myself some ink and I want to just want to, I want to do it myself. No, I know, but just give it to Ronnie and he'll go and he'll get it for you. Look, I, I'm, I'm just going to take some time to myself. No, no. Here though at the camp, because Seamus could use a bit of help with his act.
I don't know how as well. He came up asking for help and I thought I was just helping as a friend but now is it in order that I have to help him? And how am I supposed to help a medium with an act when I don't have any knowledge of that area? So which is it? Is it I'm helping a friend or is it an order? You're just helping. It's what everybody kind of does here. We all help each other. Yeah, and I was happy to help, but now I feel like I'm being forced to help.
Nobody's but the way the way Seamus has been talking this morning, trying to talk me out of going to town and now you too. I'm literally just going to go in, buy a journal, buy something and it's something I want to do for myself and then come back. You just, you're kind of, you're just and you see she's squirming. I thought you only helped these guys out every now and then. Why does it matter so much whether I go into town for an hour or two? We're just.
How does that rock the boat? Just Claudine has kind of offered myself and Sykes and Rash a permanent space with the cabaret. OK, that's I'm delighted for you. I really AM. And it's just. But why is it coming then with a threat of keeping me in line? Nobody. No, there's no threats for you. OK, then you. Then I'm responsible for myself. If I get in trouble for going to town, I get in trouble for going into town. Why does it matter? I just, if you just keep the
peace, keep your head down. My head is that's what they were saying. That's what they were. They were just saying keep your head down and there'd be no problems. So it would probably just be better. And she kind of stands up on one of the steps to the carriage to kind of meet to meet your eye. Now if you just stayed here, if you birdie. So I'm going to spend the rest of my days trapped within the
confines of a tent. They took you in and they're bringing you to Visage. Yes, I understand the situation. I am I'm in. I very much do. All I'm asking for is narrative, to go into town to buy a journal. It's not as if anyone can recognise who I am. There's loads there, there's loads here. I I'll, I'll say if you want a fancy one, I'll say, I'll say to Ronnie, I'll say to Ronnie, he can pick it up. Consider it done, Nana. Consider it done, Nana. I'm going to go Nana.
I'm going to get James. No. I grab her hand. She kind of continues. I'll say it's Ronnie. He'll get the journal, we'll get sorted. You're going to help, Seamus. We'll get you in time. Now why are you so afraid and. That'll be everything and there'll be no problems and everybody will just get on. Why are you so afraid? I'm not. You are. I'm not. I'm terrified. I'm not terrified inside Jack, 18. Not terrified at all. She is 100% behind this.
I let go of her hand. I don't know if she's walking off. She has no she like, and she's that kind of like the plan's kind of fixed now. You're going to help Sheamus, She'll get Sheamus. When she gets Sheamus, she'll go ask Ronnie and you can kind of hear her kind of repeating it to herself. I'm going to sneak off into town. I it's literally all I want to go is buy a journal for myself. It just, it doesn't make sense. I'm keeping my head down.
I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, so I'm going to sneak off. Give me a stealth check. 27. Why did I even ask for one? I should have just left it go. So just as she's walking away, I'm going to walk backwards, still my eyes on her and kind of veer around. Sorry, who would just give me the Homer Simpson right back into the Bush? It's very much that it is that what I'm veering around the side of one of the wagons and then
taking? Kind of disappearing to kind of that little kind of like into the. Into the medley. Yeah, yeah. People are kind of getting ready for the matinee show, apparently. Now you kind of see your opportunity. With Nana's back turned, you slip into the into the kind of the wild field and then kind of the small kind of clump of trees and you make your way towards the village of boudoir. It's so quiet, like it's it's
cold. You've only kind of known the cold these last couple of days, a week almost now as you've ventured kind of verdure into the Dragon's back mountains, like it's just been grey skies. But there is just all you can kind of hear is a little birdsong and the wind. It's it, it is a real big sense of relief in a way, because the last few days it's just been constant noise and this constant pressure of these new people around her as well.
She just wanted that little bit of relief and time alone. So she starts kind of thinking through her a few encounters now that she's had with the Raven Queen, especially the 1:00 last night. And she's also just wondering, should she just take off and run right now? But then she remembers she needs to get to Visage, so she quickens her pace to get into town and get back as soon as she
can. It's it's one of those things when you lose yourself in your thoughts and so many thoughts do just sort of bubble off to the surface and it's almost like index cards of like, Oh yeah, that was that. Oh yeah, that was that. And Oh yeah. And you're trying to process, as you lose yourself in them, you
also lose that sense of time. And then you are kind of, you can hear people again, they're some short distance away, but where this patch of wild kind of snow fields meets farmland, you can just see kind of a Stonewall. And beyond it kind of drifting down the slope and up again. You clearly see the village of Boudoir on the other side of this little dip in the road, nestled into the hills.
Realizing now that she's approached town like I do kind of quicken my pace is like, OK, go find a general store, get in, get the things I need and head back straight away. Boudoir isn't, it's not Gilchar, it's not Tesserap, it's a it's it's bigger than herb, but it's still kind of a small little dinky little place in the mountains. Now in this kind of mid morning light, you notice the buildings a little bit more, the detail they are very much half visage
in half Gilchar in design. You can kind of see that in the kind of the facade of the buildings with the visage in ones being kind of slightly taller and a little bit more jagged, like a little bit more pointed, whereas the Gale chair ones are small little fat potbelly little almost cottages or cabins. You also were kind of remember that there wasn't much beyond the perimeter of the square, like everything here seems to be sort of central to that.
And as you do kind of skulk into the village, you see the the square and you can see the set up from the stage for the fae like cabaret. And as you are standing there, you can hear somebody heckling thinners waywards devils away with you, away with you out. You're not wanted. Nobody wants you here here, but you're peddling your your snuts
and your and your your crimes. Around kind of the corner of the stage you see one of the one of the burlier security members, an orc woman, just sort of manhandling this floppy looking old woman in garish robes. I just turn my head slightly away from it just to not make eye contact with this woman and her her pointedness and I'm going to go look for a general
store. Scanning kind of the buildings, you see a small little Tavern, the tipsy minxy, the the little wooden sign kind of hanging from rusty iron hooks, and it's just a drunk cat lying on its back. The only other kind of building you can kind of get a good sense of is, I mean, it looks like a shop, but on one side of the shop there is a rather ornate little sign, chalkboards with these wonderful little illustrations and swirls and loops and every letter hearts
over the eyes. Very artisanal. Very very artisanal and it's umm, baguettes. It daggelles the exact opposite half of the shop redden blades and it's literally just a bin of swords. It's kind of marveling at the building a little bit because she, she is in this little happy, determined bubble now in herself. She kind of smiles and walks through the door. As you step through the door, the interior is split right down the middle as well, and there is
this strangest smell of smoke. You can smell fresh baked goods and the soot of a blacksmith's fire all intermingled. The heat out of this building is insane. And on the left hand side, you do see this sort of wooden counter. It looks like what you would imagine what you'd see in a lot of the kind of the more general sort of stores in Tesra. It's this mishmash of like hardware, foodstuffs, animal grain, mining supplies. It's sort of this, it is. It's the generals.
And then there's just this clang of iron and your eye, your kind of your head turns. There is there's a man in the distance. He hasn't seemed to notice you, but on the other half of the building, it is quite clearly a blacksmith's workshop. Everything is covered in soot and dust and ash. And you do see just this full display of swords of all shapes and sizes. He seems to be walloping the head of an axe.
Morning, Hello. Excuse Moi. You hear a kind of a door swing and flap and then just this rush of spiced sugar kind of just wallops you and then you kind of choke down on like soot as you see this maroonish purple tiefling. A woman just kind of spilled through the door and she's carrying a tray and you can see this kind of waft of steam off of it. Oh, good morning. You are most welcome to Baguettes a Daggers, I am Elise. You're welcome to our little shop. What can I help you with this
morning? I'm I'm just looking to get a few bits please. Bits of. I need a new journal, an ink and pen, and some leather armour. And then the ringing stops. Morning. Welcome to Daggers and Bread. I'm Steve. The fella turns around and he's what, a burly human. And you see he's wearing these heavy sort of goggles, thick beard. It's kind of a rusty color, you think, but it's just full of it's just black from the smoke.
As he turns, you see he's wearing kind of a like a heavy leather apron and underneath the kind of a brown kind of tunic where she is delicate and petite. He's big and kind of burly, bit of a dad bod kind of coming off of it. Oh yeah. And when he turns, he's still holding the end of the red hot axe. The other stuff, the the pen and the paper you'll get from the other place was armor you're looking for. Yeah, some letter armor, preferably if it's if dark colored or black if you have it.
We have ever than a dagger and bred baguettes A daggers. I have told you before, Steven baguettes A daggers. I am the oldest one. I confessed armor and you're looking and you're looking for an ignore her. She's just there. Bacon. Her bread. My eyes are ping ponging between the two of them right now for. Some kind of customized? Is it like you're looking for something a bit more robust? I I think letter armor is all that's in my budget at the moment I'm afraid. Well, we've kind of got
everything. Pursuit prices, yes, they're very knock off prices. You were looking for a pen and a general and some ink. Yes, please. Of course, if you would like to step up to the counter, please ignore the buffoon behind you. The gorilla will get you your armour if that's what you are looking for. But I could suggest a couple of the places that you make something a little bit better and made a little bit more. How do you 2 know each other? He's my brother twin.
Ah. I got the looks, the brains, the ability to run a shop. He got fat. The axe comes flying over and it thuds into the what you see. There's a couple of these gashes and scratches in the wall. Ignore him. Gorillas throw things when they get angry. He's now stepped over the line back, back and she kind of starts to gesture at him and he is standing there is. There's a line on the floor.
Right down the middle. Well, when you're done getting all your trinkets from Her Majesty, if you want to come into an actual shop, you swing over to Daggers and Mouldy Bread and I'll get you sorted. Sure. I'll be over with you soon. Thanks very much. And he goes back and he's now walloping. He's not even. He's just walloping the anvil. He's just just. Making noise to to annoy. Everything, yeah. So have you a particular type of vellum that you're looking for, for the paper or the ink?
Is that anything in particular? I am so sorry. I it is it is getting kind of impossible to hear you in here. Please talk a little loud there. I just want the bare bones. I'm so sorry, I I really can't hear. Could you please? Basic, basic. Demon, I am trying to deal with the customer. And Echo. There's just as crashing sound as he throws a load of swords into a bin. I'm so sorry, could you just give me one moment? Sure. And you just hear her rustling
under the counter. She comes up holding something quite heavy in her hand and she just chucks it. Actually going to roll to see if she hits him. Oh. My gosh. That's a 15 with. Even with the 15, that's enough. She chucks a full Python at him. She just and it hits him right in the back of the head. Now it's a little quieter, so just like a little Pepper regular ink. Just a regular old journal and some regular ink and pen please.
That, that can do for you. And she again, she goes back under the counter and then a dagger just goes flying over her head. And then she's got, she's kind of got everything up on the counter. She's got ink, a little writing tool, the the journal, anything else this morning? We have scones, I have pastries. Honestly it all smells amazing but I don't know if I have it in my thank. You you could hardly smell it over the smell of ash and burning flames of desperation
that is my brother's workshop. But I am so glad that you have the ability to recognise real talent. It is really nice and I'm so sorry. I just I have a very limited budget. I'm. Afraid. Of course, Of course. Thank you so much for your opportunity. You are always welcome. Thank you. Baguettes. Daggers. I hand over the the money to her and then I go to the other side of the counter. I bid you a dear farewell. Don't listen to any of his
bullshit. He barely passed the exams and he's now standing there and he's kind of wiped a lot of the kind of the sweat off and it's just kind of he's kind of very dirty face. These deep grey eyes like just these really, really kind of piercing grey eyes. Same eyes. She has uh uh, armor you were looking for, yes. Please. He kind of goes spilling back into the workshop.
I I can give you this and he kind of, he does, he takes out kind of just a, it's just a bog standard, kind of like leather armor. There's nothing. It looks well made, like it looks fine, like it looks sturdy. Is it is it like a dark leather color? Yeah, it. Is it's closer to kind of a dark red leather like? It's oh fab. Yeah, but it's not, it's not black. It's all I kind of got in your size and then in the color. It's really, it's really nice actually. Thanks.
Yeah, some of us can actually craft real products and not just Chuck a bunch of eggs and flour all. There is no eggs in my wed across some of the other sides. Now, from what I can see, you're both very talented. Your parents must be proud of both of you. I tell you what, I can knock, I can knock a couple of pieces off there or if you could just do me one solid favour.
What's that? Just on the way out there, which you just knock over any kind of gestures and there is a small little wooden stand not by the door, but kind of just inside from the door with kind of like little samples. As much as I'd love a a good deal and and saving. It a couple of no I I cross the line. And I am not crossing this one either. But if you look, it's just, it's just, it's, it's just over I. Feel like I want to take my compliment back.
And he like he has handed over the armor. If you're handing the money back on fair's fair, we're fine. I think the two years doing a great job and I hope I guess that you can get along better in the future. One of us has an actual job, and one of us pretends to be a. Couple, I think. I think you're both. You're both very talented and you're very lucky to have each other. Not everyone gets that.
I hope you have a nice day. And they're both staring at you now, kind of both really sort of like, what are you talking about? Like that sort of, you know, when people turn their ire. Yeah. You're trying to. You're trying to mediate peace. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They are now kind of laser focusing on you. She's kind of a little bit delusioned where she's not picking up on the laser focus.
She just thinks that they're giving her both attention and she's like, oh, they're, they're listening to they, they're actually listening to. Me. And there is just that little foreboding silence in the shop. Thank you both very, very much. Really appreciate it. Have a good day. And I walk out the door. As the door closes but you just hear the pair of them shouting at each other. She's she's shouting at him in
visage and he's shouting back. And then there is just the sound of stuff smashing back and forth. You see a lot of the other villagers from Boudoir giving that general's door a wide berth. And as you slip out, standing about a foot shorter than you but with a finger jabbed right up into your face, you come face to finger to face with that old woman from earlier on who had been making a scene at the Fae like cabaret stage. She's human, probably pushing her late 50s, maybe early 60's.
The robe that you saw she was wearing is like an oversized hoodie, and you can clearly see her vestments or some sort of lycra esque material underneath it. Ah. OK. You. This is you, isn't it? And she starts to kind of rummage through the pouch on her robes at the front. She pulls out a scrap of paper, and she kind of holds it up to you. Oh. What's on the scrap of paper? Oh, it's balled up, isn't it? That's you. That's a scrap of paper. I'd recognize you anyway.
Absolute not an ounce a shame about you. And then she kind of unfurled it. It's the poster for the fate like cabaret. Umm, what do you say for yourself? Hi, hello. Sorry, just trying to do some shopping. Apology isn't even remotely accepted. You are an absolute disgrace. The way you carry on, the way you seem to flit and flounce from town to town cause an absolute ruin and devastation. And what do you have to say to yourself? Hi. Hello.
Sorry, I'm just a performer. Oh, that's an excuses it. No, that's what I do. Yeah, yeah. No excuses here, not at all. I'm just, I just. No real sense of apologies either. For what I just perform. For all the crimes. What? No, there's. I don't do any crimes. What? You are the the twit Raven. The Spectral Raven. It's all bundled up. I can't read it and you think you're innocent because what, you stand on the stage shaking
your bits is it? I feel kind of like kind of starts to like try and cover herself up even though she's wearing clothes just with that comment. And like, I'm so sorry if my presence has upset you, I'll just get out. It's not just you. It's not. It's the whole lot of you every time get. Out of your way and I start to train like sidestep away from her and. She's following. Yeah, Yeah, I figured every time. Every time.
There hasn't been a single incident that I can recall and I have an absolute cracking memory. Every time ye swan into the place, money and valuables go missing and people go missing as well. I can't answer for any of that. I'm only a new person. I've only been. Oh, so you're new to the way of crimes? No, I did. I'm only new to I. I I I I only performer. I Literally this is like my second show with the troop. How do they do it? What I what's there?
I tried to get a look at the stage earlier on and they wouldn't let me near it. What is this? Is there some sort of? It's just a platform stage. Oh, and what all the crooks are hiding underneath? And he's smoking him. In oh, we don't have any crooks. Just have Austin and the crew who put the tent up and that's it. Sorry. OK, I'm just going to go now. Excuse me?
She fixes on you. She's gone incredibly quiet, like it's the first time really you were able to get a word and without an accusation flung in between the syllables. But she has gone incredibly quiet. And any sort of confidence as she was kind of jabbing at you with her accusatory finger is gone. And as you kind of turn to walk away, you can see why. Claudine, Bertie, this is where you got off to. Is everything OK? Everything all right? I was just buying a journal. Oh.
Lovely, they're looking for you to help with some of the stage and costumes. Oh, OK, I'll be right there. I'll go there right now. Do you want to introduce? Me first, I don't know who this lady is. And the woman is kind of I. You look vaguely familiar. You see the older woman kind of fix herself. You know who I am just as much as I know who you are, Sister Sledge. I can't say it's a pleasure to meet either of your acquaintances, Claudine, if
that's even your real name. I have like stepped back away from these two women so that they're in closer proximity to each other than I am. We seem to have ruffled your feathers. I hope it's not the noise. I hope. And it's not the noise. And you know it's not the noise. I know what you're up to. I know you're doing something. I know there's something. There's something shifty about the Lottie and clotting without a crack in her expression. Any complaints?
Of course. Please feed them to Elder Hadler Helder. I'm. I'm sure he'd be happy to facilitate them, that crackpot. Or you've him wrapped, or he you've some, you've entranced him, he's hypnotized, whatever it is, because no sooner will you be gone, he'll be given out and I'll be the one that has to coax him in again. Claudine just kind of fixes a look at you, kind of asked the woman.
That is a wonderful brooch. You don't know at what point, but in her tarage or now she kind of stands up and kind of fix herself. You do see that there is a it's quite odd. It looks quite chunky, but it's two fists bumping each other and it kind of clasps the cloak closed. No indication to what that is that related to religion or anything that you. Give me a religion check. Give it a go.
It's a 10. If there's some, if there's anything you know about life and living in the city of Tesareb, it's that, uh, temples, churches come and go. And as you kind of stare at this, uh, brass broach of two fists bumping each other, vague recollection of the Church of Broseph and the Brocode philosophy about morals and decency and squats sort of establishing itself in a temple slash gymnasium. This woman clearly is some sort of pontificate or chaplain or member.
You know, I, I, I, I'm going to say it, I'm going to say it to the elder. I'm going to say it. I'm going to sit in right now. Of course you're you're entitled to if you do change your mind. From her sleeve of her coat that she's wearing, she slips a ticket on the House front row. We'd love to see you there. Oh, I bet you would. Oh and again, the finger is out and the confidence that comes with the finger wagging comes out and she power walks off. I just stand there in a silent stupor.
I feel this stage. Yeah, yeah, right, right away. Yeah, sorry, I might take off. You make your way kind of across the square and you do see that like some of the caravans that kind of bring the performers in have already kind of rocked in. Your stuff is kind of put to one side. Nixie and Willow are whispering to each other. Give me a perception check. I don't know why I've asked you
to roll this as well. 2357 thousand. 23. They're, they're looking at you, they're whispering and as you kind of you're looking around and you're kind of, they're getting ready and you're getting ready. Talons kind of moping awkwardly in the corner, kind of like sharpening his blades. You don't see Sheamus? I kind of walk over. I walk like I'm not interested in talking to the girls because whatever. I don't know what sort of vibes is going on there at the minute.
But I do go over to Talon. Umm, have you seen Seamus Talon? Yeah. Where is he? Camp. Oh, see, not performing? No, why not? Tired. OK, like go back and finish getting prepped? Ronnie kind of flits back in and around, shaking everybody's hand. You know, like kind of getting given water, kind of working the performers, kind of getting everybody the energy up. He kind of approaches my little dove. Oh, you want to fly free? But Claudine, she's not happy. Sorry, I just wanted to I just
just for a quick hour, just. Whatever it is that you need, you tell Ronnie I'll get it for you. Yeah, we. OK. Anything at all? Sorry, Ronnie. Don't fret, Claudine. Her bark is just as bad as her bite, but she's not going to bite you much. A kid, a kid, a kid, a kid. You look magnific and he goes to take your hand and give you a kiss.
I slide it away. Now you are very quick and then you say Ronnie and as Claudine kind of comes around the the side of the stage, she must catch me first and he flits kind of up onto the stage. Everybody gets a little quiet when Claudine kind of steps in. I have some business to take care of. Ronnie Will MC to the matinee performance. Uh, good luck. Break a leg and our eyes land on you. Yeah. My eyes go to the ground. Give me 3 ability checks yeah that are that you want to use
for your performance. So what are you going to use? Same as what I've used before. So acrobatics for obviously the acrobatics skill of the of the thing, the perception, because I am wearing a blindfold while hitting the bell. OK, and then I'm going to use then my echo switch as my last. Oh no, my attack roll, sorry. OK, the first roll is 11 for Acrobatics, OK. The nerves are at you a little bit and your mind is like, oh, oh, like there's definitely.
Claudine is obviously not happy. The crowd, though, are. They are completely and totally mesmerized. They're people are clapping, people are cheering. It's the same energy you saw last night, like it's. And again, Elder, Elder Adler is failing all as he is. He's kind of up on his feet and he's clapping and kind of stomping the all the while as much as you can hear that noise.
It's it's your thoughts again that you're kind of bumbling through and the the backflip, you land it, but it's a bit. Rough. Yeah, there's like a foot slip. DC-15 for your perception check. OK, why the hell did I said it at 15? I should have said it at 6000. Natural 20. God damn it. OK, it's fine. It's the.
I think in what happens then is with that slip I nearly focus on my breath a little bit and even though I'm wearing a blindfold I do close my eyes under it as well and really just try and centre myself. And it works. You find kind of a stillness in the in the bow as you're gripping it. You can feel the resistance in the string and something about that kind of calms you a little bit as the you go to take the shot and.
Then my last 1, then. The DC doesn't change, it's still 15. OK, with that is a 25. You hear the ringing of the bell and the crowd are on their feet. Ronnie comes out, barrels kind of into you, holding your hand up, kind of giving it a well, it's slightly above your shoulder, the spectral Raven. Oh, she appears. And then? And 20 says that I use my blessing of the Raven Queen to disappear behind the stage.
Behind the curtain. All right, Nixie and Willow, they have already kind of begun to undress and kind of switch into their clothes. Their their their normal kind of camp where and like you just hear kind of like Encore encore. Miss me? We have such little time to stay in your wonderful little village, but we will be back. Rest assured. For now. We have been the fairlight come by and there is just this flash of light and you kind of you hear just the applause and the
hollering continue. Ronnie kind of comes around the side and OK, we have not so much time. We have to be back. We have to break camp that we must make haste. We have to get to visage. We have a little bit to be free. Willow and Nixie roll their eyes. Is there anything you want to do at this point? I think after kind of getting the looks from Claudine I'm very much gone insular and I am just following whatever order anyone is giving me in order to help
pack up and get moving and. That's all it is. It is just change, get ready, move stuff, lift stuff, carry stuff, get into the curve and then kind of move things around. It is because like, even though Thea feels like she's done nothing wrong by going into the town, it was just a little something for herself there. There is a selfish shame that's washed over her now where she feels like she's let someone down as as well as the fear that she already has for Claudine.
Give me perception check at disadvantage. Disadvantage because you're in. Because I've been in my head a little bit or. That, but also because you're actually in, so you're in the wagon kind of like people are passing you stuff and you're moving, so it's kind of hot. You can see from where you are. So even with disadvantage, it's a 25. Did I say disadvantage? I meant -25 cool. No, Great.
It is one of those things like as someone kind of goes to hand you something, their reach isn't that much so you have to lean further out of the caravan. You can see people are taking the stage down, the crowd are still set there. Nobody has dispersed. I kind of pause for a minute looking at the crowd and just even seeing are they moving? Like are they reacting at all to the stage being brought down?
They're just staring up at the stage as the the various kind of scaffolders and stage hands kind of begin to disassemble it. I, I, whatever the person was handing to me, I take it and I, I place it inside quickly. And then I do step out with a wagon to just take a few steps closer to have a closer look. Everybody is just sort of no reaction, nothing. They're just staring up at the stage, almost stupefied.
I kind of look around at the rest of like, say, the crew of the Fail like Cabaret to see if they're reacting at all into this at all. Nobody. People are just taking the stage apart, filling the the caravans. I do start walking up closer to 1 of the guests. Little Dove. Oh, Ronnie, what's what's what's? You tranced them. Yeah, no, I don't know. I have no magic in me. Oh, what's what's what's what's wrong with them? Magic of your performance captivated them.
Are they OK? They are completely and totally fine, they are just enraptured. I'm still looking at them. Is there any of the fair like cabaret in round by the people at all or they're completely ignoring them? They're just completely ignoring them. They're just literally just. Taking everything down. And most of it's down now. Yeah. No, Come, come. We haven't much time. There is a storm on the horizon. And if we are to get you safe,
we must fly away. I I follow after Ronnie, but I still throw my eyes back at the people really confused and concerned. Most of the caravans are kind of packed up. They head out. You're kind of again into kind of one of the performers side of it. It's a bit squished because they didn't bring the full kind of troop of wagons. So some parts of the stage and stuff for have been loaded in and there's lots of other boxes and supplies.
It's a very quiet trip back to the camp, but at the occasional like whispering giggle from Willow and Nixie after a short little kind of ride up that hill, now kind of back at camp, a lot of it has been disassembled. I'm just keeping my head down again still and just like go about helping where I can. You see Nana and Sykes are busy checking over supplies, checking any of the caravans for any kind
of wear and tear. Cook is in the process of kind of, there's a large pot sitting on that campfire to let everyone kind of have been gathering around and she is kind of preparing some sort of food. And everybody is just kind of like Mixie and Willow head off to their caravan with their costumes and all their bits and pieces and you are kind of left standing there. I go over to to Nana and rash and I'm like hey I heard Seamus stayed back, is he around?
Oh yeah, yeah, he's, he's in his wagon. He's not feeling the best, so he's a bit exhausted. That's Claudine said. He could set it out. Yeah, yeah, I was worried about him. Oh. No, he's grand. He's just a bit tired. Oh, OK. It's one of the, you know, with the the perils of working on the road, you. Seem fine this morning. Poor guy. You know, fellas, one minute they're around, next minute they're a toothpicks killing them and then she kind of punches sex.
I just give the two of them a nod and a little smile, and I go over to Seamus's wagon and give the door a little knock. There's no answer. I was going to say shamelessly, I hope you're feeling OK, Rest up and I I go to put my things away in my wagon. The afternoon kind of rolls into the evening and you, you see that some of the other troop maintenance crew are kind of getting ready for the wagons to they've, they've always formed that circle.
They're now getting ready for them to roll out of the little camp. And then you hear kind of the ringing of a bell as like Cook calls out food and you can hear kind of people are beginning to kind of gather around the
comfort. While I was kind of like, I suppose, relaxing in my wagon and stuff, I'd open the first page of of the the journal if he is first natural instinct to write her name because that's what she's always done and she's paused for ages and then when she hears cook calling for dinner is she quickly writes down birdie instead.
Like before she would take loads of time to make it look really nice and pretty, but it's really just scrawled across the front page and she gets up and takes off to get food. As you step out of the caravan, you you see all these people kind of gathered around the campfire and you, everybody is there, like the performers crew, Ronnie and Claudine. But your eye is drawn to some kind of skidding through the grass and you can kind of make it out.
It's kind of twilight, like it's not quite dark, but it's not the bright of the day of that kind of Gray sky is gone. But you can clearly see kind of getting through the the flattened grass. There's a tiny mouse and he's got a rolled up scroll of paper in his mouth and he just goes running into the fields beyond. Kind of stare off in that direction for a little while, like chasing that shadow until I can't see it no more and then it stays in my brain even.
Like I'm pondering on it as I'm even queuing up to get food. Just how odds that was. Bowls are kind of being passed around like a couple of people are helping cook. DV it all out, Claudine and you a bowl of it's kind of like an oxtail Stew. I heard you. Another knockout performance, Bergie. I I tried to do my best. Oh, I don't think anybody is disappointed in your showmanship. Yeah, I am sorry about earlier. I just wanted. Oh, don't, don't, Don't worry about it.
All is taken care of, all is fine. Even still, I am sorry I just, I just wanted to to go and buy something myself. I won't do it again. We may not have the opportunity to stop off in many more places. So I can understand, you know, a lady needs her things, a journal and armor. Interesting choices, but those are your own. I would appreciate it though, Bertie, if you would just check in with Ronald if you need anything that's it's kind of one of his responsibilities.
We kind of like to keep the performers behind the curtain until the big show. Yeah, I will. I'm sorry again. Apology accepted. We all make mistakes, birdie, we just have to learn from them. I slowly take the ball from her and give her a very like it's a very weak smile and I I go and I take a seat with Nana and Rash. They are kind of chatting away to them, to themselves when you come and sit down. All right, less. Yeah, I'm fine. Good. It's good, Stu. Is it I have taste it, Yeah.
I cook whatever cook makes is good. Yeah. Are you? Do you think you're really going to stay working with them? Why wouldn't we? I don't know, food. The open roads were paid well. We have our own house on wheels. I thought you were just a little bit more independent contractors than that, you know. Give me an inside check, 17.
You see her eyes flit back and forth, like there is just that moment where you kind of just see that, that disconnect between what she was saying and what she was thinking. No, no. Yeah, it's good, isn't it? It's you. I have again. I haven't tried it yet. Oh, you should. And like she, Nana just starts to spoon it in. Sykes copping along. How is Sykes acting as well? Because I know he'd usually be a little bit like more.
Grunty. Grunty and like, I don't know, he always seemed a bit more perceptive than Nana, but he is he just kind of. Going with the flow. Right. OK, If she's still chatting, even if she's talking to me, I've kind of zoned out a little bit and I'm looking between the two of them and then staring off and even staring back at where the path where I saw that little mouse with the paper run. Your eyes kind of dirt, uh, and you see people are kind of like that.
They're kind of punching up in their little groups and you can see Nixie and Willow are talking to some of the, the troops maintenance people. Uh, Talon is kind of set with Cook. Neither of them are saying a word to each other. Uh, both just kind of staring into the fire, both just eating away. You kind of look back towards your, your ordinal caravan where you saw the mouse again. There's a quietness in this moment. Even though these people are all
talking. It feels very different to a couple of hours ago when you were on your own walking through the fields. There's an uncomfortableness in this fear. And you see from where you are Claudine and Ronnie, and they're all over each other. He's kissing kind of like along her arm and like nozzling into her neck and she's kind of shooting him away and. She's very Gomez and mortician. Yes. And then, like, she's grabbing at him and like, making kind of kissy noises, kind of on his nose.
And then she covers his eyes with her hand and you see her hold out her left hand and she is holding a brass brooch. And Ronnie's eyes light up and she pins it to his coat with all the other brooches and medals, trinkets and doodads. Finish up, we are rolling out. You heard Claudine, Everybody immediately kind of shifts and moves. You are again, kind of on your own. Is there anything you want to do in this moment? I want to go back up to Seamus's wagon.
I I was actually about them. Is there any little windows or that on them? Yeah, there is. They're like they are. There are small little kind of round little kind of porthole windows.
That I can look into yeah. OK, I I stand up and just have a quick look in. He's lying in a cot, his back is turned to. I just kind of stare at him for a little bit, just like to see, I don't know what I'm looking for, but just to see if he's OK. I don't know particularly what I'm looking for, but my gaze does linger on him, just out of concern. I look around again and I go back to my wagon and I sit on the stoop of the door for a
while. As you, uh, make your way back and you see that everybody's kind of getting into kind of their, the formation to, to, to move to dwarven men and that half workwoman you'd seen at the stage earlier on the kind of the security yard help move your wagon. And they kind of look at you, They hitch it to kind of the, the train. They kind of like you might want to and they're kind of gestures. The other caravans that they're getting ready to hitch them furious as well.
I go into my wagon and then I don't know like if if there's like a window looking out front. I'm assuming Shamus's is ahead of mine in yeah. It is, yeah. And they all kind of look very much the same. But you yeah, he's is about 3 or 4 for two years. I just kind of throw an eye at it again and then I I guess I sit down on my bed. There's a whelp when you sit on
the bed. What, What? And I jump up. And the blankets move, and Rash pokes his head out from under the blankets, looking incredibly sad. And that's where we'll leave the episode. You've been listening to Romancing the Dungeon with Louise and me, Declan, your Dungeon master. Our theme song Fight for Each Other is by Steven Tynan and Abby Soiree Podcast. Title card artwork is by Dahi C Designs.
It's really weird listening back on a lot of this stuff now, considering that as of me recording this outro, we've recorded the penultimate sessions for Romancing the Dungeon. I'm not, I'm, I'm doing my best not to do well on it everybody, but it's a lot of fun, I guess, because we've recorded these in advance and where we're at and where we came from is, you know, it's connecting really, really
well in my own head. I hope it's connecting for you if you want, if you want to see maybe some of those connections and how it all kind of maybe we'll possibly come together some behind the scenes stuff. Make sure you're checking us out on social media. Where D8 dungeon everywhere you can check out our twitch channel as well. Also DA dungeon for any of our other shows and there's a link to our discord group where some of the funnest people on the
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We're back in two weeks time and we're going back to AJ, Hefesta, Ivan, Nate and Clodagh to find out just where the hell they are and what they're doing. Everyone loves a sad dog. No smash his face, but he'll probably bite me. Yes, yes, I will.