What's A Strong Dad Look LIke? Ep. 291

You've been blessed with all kinds of gifts and your daughter says she's got you two gifts . I'm afraid to know birthday and father's day , so she is on it so , but what are we talking about today ?

Goes with our topic yeah , it is um , and and maybe a little bit after , but the idea of like what , uh , you know we do the strong dad show right on not you and I yes , but uh , rock solid families also helps produce the strong dad show and , um , you know we oftentimes talk about dad stuff and we're going to talk today about well , what ?

what does a real man , a strong dad , a father , what does he really look like ? You know some really interesting stuff , I know . I just said I watched the Band of Brothers . I watched the Band of Brothers series again .

The point is is it's about half of what it was and dropping like a rock , and so you know , you maybe used to be able to point your finger at different neighborhoods , you know inner city or whatever , and say , man , look at that poor city , look what's going on to those families , but it's widespread now .

I mean , you can go out into the rural areas , you can go to the ghetto downtown , it just doesn't matter . And all of the same things are happening when the dad leaves or when we have what I'll refer to as a bad dad .

All the same symptoms seem to come out of that , and so what we're going to talk about today is , hey , we need our dads , we need our strength , but what does that really look like ?

So what would it look like , even if you're in a divorce situation right , I mean , we'd like to avoid that , but we do know those happen Even if that's the case , what would the behavior and the character of the dad look like .

And so if that's your story , then we want you to keep listening , because here's what we know .

If you don't have a good dad story , if you don't didn't have a strong dad in the home with you growing up , the tendency and the likelihood of what you're going to choose and what you're going to do and put in your life whether it be with a spouse , boyfriend even raising children is going to be harder , and so we want to give you that's part of the work

we do . We know there's a lot of people that did not experience healthy growing up .

They come into our office every day and they'll say I don't even know what that looks like , I don't know how to be a good husband , I don't know how to be a good dad , and so we're trying to give you some resources , and this is one of them what does a strong dad look like ? And we're going to God's word to find out .

So just about any young and I say boy childlike mind you know , once he is of puberty age and beyond , he can produce a child . But that's not really what the significant matter is about . It's like , what are you going to do once you produce that child ? So who's going to raise it ? And so that's really where the character traits of the man come in .

But before we get there , let's thank our sponsors . Come in , but before we get there , let's thank our sponsors . We want to thank Maxwell Construction , casey's Outdoor Solutions and the Hoosier Ice House for sponsoring the Rock Solid Families podcast . We also want to just thank all of you who listen and continue to share our shows to others .

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And if you don't know , the story basically a father had Give us the paraphrase A father had two sons and one of them kind of followed the rules and did what he was told , and you know . And the other son was a rebellious son and he he wanted his inheritance ahead of time . He basically was like wanted to kind of go live his way , right .

So , his dad gave him his inheritance and that other son , that prodigal son , went and just kind of lived it up and kind of spent it all and then found himself literally in a pig's pen , like literally feeding among the pigs . He realized like what the heck have I done ?

And then we have the other brother , who was resentful and bitter and jealous that , hey , I've done this the right way and you're giving him a party . And so there's a lot of different dynamics here and we're today going to really focus on the Father here .

It's a parable , guys , and so remember what the parable . The parable is not a true story . It is a story where Jesus is trying to put a human understanding on God , either qualities or desires that he wants for us or our behavior , and so , in this case , the father actually is manifesting the role of God the father , god the father .

So he's really describing here how he is going to be right .

No , I'm just kidding . You were the good kid too , but you know , I had my moments too . I wasn't that perfect , for sure , but you know . So he really is trying to show us . Jesus tells the story to help us understand how our heavenly father loves us and how he treats us as his children .

You hear this all the time , especially in the parenting and really the christian world the father is one of unconditional love , unconditional love . So no matter how much this young punk son of his is rebelling and probably had , you know , just such a chip on his shoulder , give me my money , I'm out of here , I'm sick of all of you .

So , no matter how harsh and hard that kid came out , the father just he's going to love the kid . Now we want to be clear here . We're not talking about loving the kid's choices Like this is not okay , honey . I think this is okay that you do this . That's not what we're saying , that's permissiveness and that's another side of bad parenting .

And so we're not saying that , because this happens a lot with families today , where a child can rebel against a parent's faith and you know their beliefs , and so if they step outside , some parents will disown them , they will literally cut them off , and I'm just telling you , as a follower of Jesus Christ , that is not what he's asking us to do .

This , this story completely tells that he allows the child to make those choices , whether he agrees with them or not , but that the unconditional love is still there . And so please , mom and dad , you're going to have kids who rebel against your faith and don't agree with your decisions and belief systems , but that doesn't mean you should reject them .

Or , you know , some people would say you're dead to me because you don't believe in my God or you don't follow my God's rules , and that's not how God works .

It's not that we're going to sit back and go , okay , just bite our tongue . We're going to say no , we really don't think that that's a good idea or that's a good choice . And so we still are addressing the choices . We're addressing , you know , the possible decisions , but at the end of the day , we have to be careful .

You and I both have been guilty of this time where you get so mad , you get so angry , a choice has been made , an action has been taken and you say something like you're ridiculous for doing this and we have to be careful , because that's putting a whole bubble of ridiculous around the entire person , shaming them , right , but you're characterizing that entire

person . You are stupid , you are dumb , you are a loser , you are , you know you as a person , versus you know what you're getting ready to do is not a very smart decision , okay . So again , unconditional love . Don't get it confused . It's not this permissiveness of you just nodding your head , yes to everything that your kid wants to do .

Like you said , the choices versus the person . So the unconditional love is one thing that the prodigal son's father really showed us in this story .

And the age of accountability really starts to go into the idea of , okay , you're explaining what you're doing , I'm going to explain to you the potential consequences you have recognized and show that you understand those consequences . Okay , you realize , if you do this , you'll lose your phone for the next week . You realize this .

And if your kid says , I know , I know , I know I'll lose my phone , okay , then at that point you start to let the free will happen . Okay , so the age of accountability , or the age of understanding of what is coming their way , is what we're talking about .

And if , if your kid can actually grasp that , then you say , okay , then we're going to let this roll . Okay . And especially as we get into those teen years and those late teen years , you know , yeah , it's hard , but that's when we let go more and more where we're saying , hey , ok as long as you know .

Unfortunately , as parents , we have become so permissive and stepped back in our role in such a big way when it comes to things that are scary and unhealthy for them as young children and I'm talking mostly about social media and the worldwide web and , like age six and seven , those kids are saying well , I want a phone , I know I can take care of it .

And then we just let them do it . And they're not , they're not ready . That is not a healthy decision as a parent . Okay , we're not talking about a six-year-old . We're not ready . Right , that is not a healthy decision as a parent .

Ok , we're not talking about a six year old , we're talking about a 16 year old who should understand and , yes , is going to be held accountable . It is up to the age of accountability .

And so this is just that whole idea of Sometimes , when we're working with parents and we see that things with their teenagers especially , are really going down the tubes quickly , especially when we have divorce situations where the parents start to get played against each other and you even have this thing called parental alienation , where you have parents working against

each other . And the next thing , you know , this kid is almost saying to one of their parents you are dead to me . And the parent who's getting hurt by this is just they don't know what to do , like , do I just sit back and let this happen or do I double down and no matter what ?

Okay , then I'm going to hold back all of your allowance , I'm going to stop this . I'm going to do that . And they aggressively chased to want to grab them and saying you will be in a relationship with me . And the point being here is sometimes you've got to play the long game .

And in the prodigal son story you have the father who shows us the wisdom of looking for the long game . And this takes trust and faith . Right Like this dad did not run after her , he did not try to threaten Shame and guilt . You're right , he did not do these things . I'm sure you know the reality of it is is anyways .

He'd be like , oh my gosh , what can I do to convince you otherwise ? But he lets them go and he , at that point , he trusts .

And , man , I'm telling you this is such an important one because when our hearts get hardened , whether that person comes back with remorse or repentance or changes their ways sometimes we've said you're dead to me , you know there's no hope of restoration and God is going to judge us in that moment .

Because that is where we've got to stay ready and willing for restoration . Again , there's a huge difference between forgiveness and trust , and so you may not trust a word they say . They may have to prove to them that they can be trustworthy . Maybe they're in addiction or maybe there's been betrayal .

Trustworthy , maybe they're in addiction or maybe there's been betrayal , but the desire we've got to keep our hearts softened toward the thought of restoration , like the prodigal son's father did .

So number five is don't get it confused with unconditional love , although it probably falls under an umbrella , but this is unconditional forgiveness . So you may always love your kid , but once your kid starts to come back around , you know , sometimes we want people to pay for what they've done .

That hurt us and and so we even look at you know our younger kids , and when they've done something wrong and we'll say , well , you know our younger kids , and when they've done something wrong , we'll say , well , you know , before you do anything , you need to apologize .

You know you put a demand in , and I'm not saying that that's wrong or bad , but in this case of the prodigal son , it would have been so easy for the father to let the son come up the road and the father to go out with excitement , you know , and just being very earnest to see his kid , but to say hey , you know , son , before I can really let you in

, you need to say a few things like you need to own your part and you need to show me that you've owned your part . And God's not doing this here . In this case he's . He's doing an unconditional forgiveness .

He doesn't even the son wants to tell him how he's done everything wrong and he's sorry for what he's done , but like the father's not demanding any of that stuff .

And so the idea here is , when your kids are ready to come into relationship with you , be really careful about having your checklist of the things that they have to do to be back into your good graces . Right , we don't earn the good graces God gives those with that unconditional forgiveness , so that's a good point .

Still , trust has to be earned right , and that's something we work on . But the love and the forgiveness is unconditional .

And man , that's a strong dad and that's a hard thing to be , I got to you know , you and I both admit like that's hard for us sometimes as humans , but this is what our Heavenly Father does to us and that's what he's asking us to do to others , especially our children .

But I mean , and we do need to give credit to people , because it's them that decides whether they're going to let their heart be open to it . But God works on people's hearts . He keeps giving this gnawing of . I just need to make it right , I need to make it better and when , when you have restoration , celebrate it , celebrate it .

You know , there there are angels cheering in heaven for every saved person , right , and so every time there's a baptism , there's like angel party , you know .

And so the idea here is , um , we should celebrate these things and and we should let our kid know that , man , when you came back , it was amazing , it was awesome , and so that keeps the excitement going , it keeps the energy going and it keeps , kind of , the thanks . With the celebration there's always a thanks , man , thank you for this happening .

Now let's have some fun .

One partner has walked away , has , um , you know , betrayed their partner and the the way that that other partner received that , whether their heart was softened and they were willing to forgive and willing to love and willing to receive them back and restore the relationship . That is just a picture of the gospel and I love this .

So it's not just a father son relationship , it is really any relationship that is important to you and when there's been betrayal , when there's been people that have deserted you or abandoned you and there's a lot of adults right now who are walking around with hurt still from abandonment and rejection , whether it be by a spouse , whether it be by a parent , and

that has really hardened their hearts and kind of created these defense mechanisms and I'm just telling you that healing is possible . I've seen it , We've seen it and that's what God wants for us .

So please let the story of the prodigal son be a message to you , whether you're a father or you know , have a father in your life or not right now , but that is something we can be in relationship with anybody .

But it also speaks to the strength of the father in these young boys' life , in this story , the strength of the father that you see , and that's why we see . You know , I started the show with the idea that 70% of the families had mom and dad both in the house .

And now we're down with , you know , dad's trickling in and out kind of at will , and it's that father figure that has left the story of the prodigal son . They've just left and left moms up there to try to figure it out .

And so I think it's really essential to understand that it is the strength of dad , it's the masculine strength that these kids are going to , you know , they're going to look at and they're going to , they're going to respond to differently , man , if dad's upset or dad's loving me , you know , like whatever dad's doing is coming with a little higher level of of of

just whatever connection to the kids .

You can go to our Facebook page and there's a little spot where you can enter your question and we can address it on air . And so maybe it's something you're embarrassed , shameful to come in and talk . We've gotten some good ones already , but if you want it to be addressed on the air , please submit it .

You can again go to our Facebook page and find that question and answer series and we would love to answer your questions yeah , looking forward to those .

If you are listening to us and you need some parenting help we've talked about parents today we actually do a monthly parenting class called Families Rock , every fourth Saturday of the month at the Lawrenceburg Firehouse in Lawrenceburg , indiana , and the next one is June 22nd .

So depending on when you're listening to this , it's always the fourth Saturday at 830 to 12 . You can find more information on our website at rocksolidfamiliesorg .

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