Multiple people in my family clean my father, are veterans.
Troops that have been to war and now they're back and think and be grateful for their service, sacrifice, love for their country, just unselfishness, all.
That they do for us.
There are some people in this country who take extraordinary steps to provide for the freedom and security. We forget that those people exist.
We know them as the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coast Guard. They call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors, devil dogs, and so much more. We call them fathers, brothers, sons and husbands, mothers, daughters, sisters and wives. We call them friend and neighbor. These veterans answered the call, Now we answer theirs. They are the best our country has to offer, and we love them. Today we honor them
and we start this. David Maulsby is your host, and he welcomes you to this community of veterans, as together we are building the road to.
Hope, and indeed we are glad to have you along. On a Sunday afternoon, those of you listening onto KPRC the nine five oh on the AM dial, thank you for joining us as you drive endlessly around the Loop or the Beltway or the Grand park Way, whichever one you like to spend your Sunday afternoon driving through. Thank you for doing so. Those of you listen through the Magical podcast, thank you so very much. Wherever you listen to podcasts, just look for Road to Hope Radio. There
we are. We got over eight years of shows, lots of stories, lots of insight into what's going on at the PTSD Foundation of America, a lot of hope and inspiration, a lot of great stories. People that you get to meet, our veterans. People say, we love our veterans, we support our veterans. We appreciate it when you take a time to check out this podcast. And here's some of the stories.
Here's some of the struggles that they had coming home and how they are overcoming them, how they have overcome them. You'll hear both of those in the course of this show with a couple of vets we have in the studio with us today. Big thank you to our show sponsors that give us the opportunity to spend a little time with you each and every week. Our great friends Billy and Connie Stagner at a Corey Diamond and Design, Acri Cory Diamond and Design two A one four two
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to spend a little time at our house. Oops steam dot Com to a one A two two zero five six'. One and when it's time to get that little bit Of texas for, you that dream home that you're looking, for you want the right, Location Republic Grand ranch dot com just outside Of houston on the north. Side beautiful beautiful place, again great, Community Republic Grand ranch Dot. Com all, right we have two of our veterans in the studio
with us. Today one who's a Graduate Camp, hope a staff member doing great work and supporting our veterans coming through the. Program we got. Brand do you want to reintroduce? Yourself, yeah what's?
Up.
Everybody Brandon hartsburg, here A Us army. Vet i've been working At camp up about four. Years i graduated in twenty twenty And i'm just excited to be here.
And we're glad to have you. Here brandon does fantastic work with our guys and grateful for what he. Does and we also have a veteran that's currently in the program At Camp. Hope, brian you want to introduce yourself to the. World, yeah that's your. Chance make it.
Good, thanks, pastor thanks for having. Me i'll try not. To my Name's Ryan. COLEKOWSKI i served in The United States Marine corps from two thousand and two to two thousand and. Six came To Camp hope On april tenth of this, year twenty twenty.
Five and, Yeah i'm just been working the. PROGRAM i Think i'm on ninety six days.
Now all, right so still in Red i'm still in red. Phase, okay? Gotcha all, right which means nothing people associated today. Anyway glad you're.
Here.
California what Part.
Orange, County, California, Placentia.
California i'm familiar With Orange, county Not. Placentia, yeah, okay where is that? From like the.
Airport it's probably ten to fifteen minutes From John, wayne probably twenty minutes from the, beach a couple from the.
Mountain so it's a nice place to. Live.
Nice. Yeah did you grow up on the?
BEACH i did. NOT i was.
No, ACTUALLY i was born In, virginia lived there for a couple of, years moved To North, carolina moved To, Dallas, texas and then WHEN i joined The Marine, CORPS i was stationed At Camp, pelton.
Right, yeah so that's HOW i came To.
California you just stayed, there, yes. Sir so you did a lot of moving around as a, YOUNGSTER a lot of moving, around, yes all, right family military or.
No just my dad got drip transfers and found different opportunities for, work and we just kind of moved.
Around where were you in high? School let In? Dallas.
YEAH i went to A Plano West Senior High school In, Plano, texas suburb Of, dallas just north Of.
Dallas my son and his family lived.
There got To.
Texas as quick as you.
Can, Now i'm back.
The texamax and the. Barbecue. Yeah, yeah that's a good reason to come. Back it.
Is i've had a chance to have some.
Good, YEAH i don't, Know i've ever Had. Virginia Does virginia even know what barbecue? Is i'm not.
SURE i don't.
Know North carolina thinks they, do but it's not.
BARBECUE i, was, YEAH i was, five and THEN i moved To North carolina AND i was, ten and then, yeah from ten to like eighteen and lived In, texas and.
Back THEN i really wasn't into. Barbecue and THEN i.
Got a nine year Old, yeah, yeah, YEAH i tend to seventeen growing up through high school and stuff like, that and then but, yeah it's good to be back IF i had a. Chance you, Know Camp hope's fit us some you, know through some donors and stuff like.
That some good, barbecue and, yeah it's pretty.
Good, yes we, have, thankfully some wonderful donors that provide some meals for us from, timetime and our chef consistently puts out some great food as. Well but it's always a little extra special when some of these restaurants come out and prepare meals for our. Guys it's a little extra special treat for. Everybody so grateful for all those who do. That real, Quickly i'm going to give you our Combat Trauma line eight seven seven seven one seven
seventy eight seventy. Three even if you're not A, vet you think you'll never need this phone, Number please put this number in your. Phone there will be someday you come across somebody who needs us and you're gonna wish you had the number in your. Phone so please just take the phone, Out just take you a. Second put this in your. Phone eight seven seven seven one seven
seventy eight seventy. Three you come across that individual that's needing a little bit of, help a little bit of guidance as they struggle to reintegrate into the civilian, world just hit the phone, number hand it to, Them tell them a combat vet's going to answer the. Phone that may not mean much to, you but it will mean the world to the person that you're handing that phone. To eight seven seven seven to one to seven seventy
eight seventy. Three we're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back with more Of road To Hope. Radio going to dip in the mail bag here real. Quick BRAND i think you'll, UH i think you'll appreciate this. One this past, WEEK i saw a post from one of our graduates From september of twenty. Three Chris, Tregiser you REMEMBER i just read that? Today did you read? That funny you bring that? Up? Yeah, YEAH i commented on. It. YEAH i went To Camp hope a hardcore alcoholic with
no understanding about my mental. Health suicidal destroyed health issues common story for a lot of. Us i've always been a believer In god and some, extent but when he actually touched to me while riding a horse during my stay At Camp, hope my life was. CHANGED i wasn't thinking about anything, NEGATIVE i wasn't. PRAYING i was just enjoying the. Scenery and then it, happened The aha Moment Camp hope staff talks about, hate, anger. UNFORGIVENESS i was
holding onto was. Gone like the sun came. OUT i was, alive forty years. OLD i received a brand new, life ONE i only dreamed of that now just. FLOWS i put in hours upon hours of hard work in a
BUSINESS i co. OWN i put hours upon hours in my production company and have a biodocumentary streaming on multiple, platforms And i'm currently working on a fiction film on facing past, trauma turning back To, god recording music, again and living all since graduating the Program september twenty, eight twenty twenty, THREE i went from losing absolutely everything to having all THAT i need and a family. AGAIN i wish success to every single person that is trying to.
Change how's? That that's not too bad right? There it's.
FANTASTIC i can't make that. Up i've been following him the whole TIME i worked With, chris SO i love seeing.
That. Man that's what it's all. About that's why we do what we.
Do it's.
Real it happens all the. Time. Yeah this Past, WEDNESDAY i had some gentlemen out there are co owners of some businesses here in The houston, area and they were when guys ask questions when we're on tours and we're showing people what we're doing and they're trying to learn about, it when they start asking questions and a lot of questions and probing, QUESTIONS i always find that so encouraging BECAUSE i know they're tuned. IN i know they're actually.
Interested they're not just out there to get a. Picture they want to learn about what's, happening what's going, on what's going on in our veteran, community what's going on in Camp. Hope why Does Camp hope? Exist why what are you doing that's different from what anybody else is. Doing it's just so. Encouraged they spent almost three hours on our Campus, wednesday and it was. Great they got to hear from a number of our veterans and briefly met.
You and when you see things like, that when you see just you, know people you would otherwise never, meet People i'd otherwise never, meet and they come out and spend LIKE i, said they spend almost three, hours, uh listening and asking, questions and you get a chance to just briefly meet him in a. Hallway and we commented
on this as. Affort we kind of finished the tour and sat down in an office and spend some time talking through some things like there's no. WEATHER i can't imagine another office building in the world which is where they met you in one of our training, buildings or where your office. IS i can't imagine another building in the world where you would walk in and just at that moment meet someone and then talk to you and tell you openly about the worst moments of their. Life.
Right it's just it's the Odd when you step back and think about, it it's like it's the oddest thing in the. World but, YOU i, MEAN i, know staff Sometimes oh, no here Comes, david he's got some. Movie uh what does that do for?
You?
Though, now because you've been around for a, while it's not the first time when you see see somebody and are called upon impromptu to share a little your.
Story, SURE i don't even think twice about. IT i rarely do. ANYMORE i don't. Know i'm so okay with WHO i am AND i don't care what other people think that when you came, OUT i, mean that was just a natural. CONVERSE i had just came out of THE ptsd, class so me And ryan. Connected we shared some of the same battle, space we fought in the same. Areas so that class teaching that class ON, ptsd and THEN i kind of pretty much created that class to show, them you, KNOW ptsd is more than just a mental,
disorder it's. Physical AND i showed them pictures from like WHERE i was WHEN i got out and how horrible it, got and THEN i showed them like what's going on? Today and THEN i don't, KNOW i just just just coming out of that, CLASS i guess a nonchalantly just told THEM i don't even think twice about. It it doesn't bother me. Anymore so but uh, YEAH i didn't even think about. It BUT i guess sometimes they're high
up exec or business. Owners they're pretty influential. Men BUT i enjoyed the conversation because they Were you could tell they cared and they wanted to. Know maybe that's WHY i was so genuine AND i came forth with this. STORY i think that's probably what did it.
Well and it wasn't just. You there were several guys THAT i introduced them to long the way you, know when you're there on campus for again almost three. Hours we met a lot of guys and. Everyone BUT i told him, like this is OUR, dna this is what we. Do nobody thinks twice about. It so WHEN i looked at it that way of you, know there's no place else in the world you do anything like, that it hit me a little. Odd but then it's, like, YEAH i,
guess but this is who we. Are then they shared their you, know kind of their their values as a, company and it was, accountability, family. Greatness and as soon as he said, ACCOUNTABILITY i, said, now, look we've talked a lot about Camp hope a lot about the, program a lot about you, know the reintegration issues and the legal issues that come as a result of a lot of. That but if you want to Break Camp hope down
to a, word accountability is probably the. Word that's what we do all, day every, day which requires the, openness the freeness to. Share but it was just it Was it was interesting to me that that was the first part of their their value. System, like that's pretty good for a company like.
That sounds like a divine appointment today it.
Was and you, Know i'm not just going. On i'm not really sure what's going to come out of, it BUT i know something's going to come out of. It so it was pretty. Cool, yeah what did they do for lunch?
Today what do we have for lunch? Today i'm trying to. Think sometimes the days blend.
TOGETHER i saw the, fixings But i'm guessing it's for. Dinner the looked like beef strogan off was.
About you had, rice, shrimp, rice some, shrimp and some.
Squash nice and it was it was. Good it was, delicious sounds good and.
It wasn't just one of those where you, get you, know three or four. Shrimp we got, nine, ten eleven. Shrimp you, know they weren't holding anything.
Back so. Nice, yeah because we don't get seafood very. Often that's all the THINGS i mentioned to this. Company we don't get seafood very. Often it's be stroging off tonight just so, yeah WHICH i. Like, YEAH i could read.
SHRIMP i would have gave anything to get hot food and three shrimp WHEN i was a. Resident he doesn't know the. Program, WELL i don't tell them very.
Well you know when we WHEN i look back to you, know we just kind of re furbished The Hunt. House WHEN i think back to the days when that was all we. Had quite, often all we had was boxes of, ramen those cheap packages of ramen noodle that you buy, tuna a lot of, tuna but a lot of the ramen noodles works had expiration dates that already. PASSED i guess somebody decided that the veterans would would love some expired dollar packs of From.
And this was brought up earlier this, week AND i know it's true for. Me Is i'm eating a lot better At Camp hope than WHAT i was eating BEFORE i came To Camp. HOPE i was wasn't eating a lot maybe once a day by. Choice wasn't taking care of myself AND i would have you, know peanut butter and jelly and ramen and stuff like, that OR i would just order you, Know Uber eats or Door. Dash but Now i'm eating three square meals a, day taking care of, myself getting the, nutrition eating vegetables.
Again so The Camp hope thirty is a real. Thing it's a very real. Thing all, right for those of you on the kPr, C we're gonna take a quick news break and then we were right back with more Of road To Hope. Radio all, right we Got Brandon, Hartsburg United States army, veteran Got Ryan United States Marine corps veterans served In. Iraq you both served in the same, AREAS i guess at different times or were you there similar?
Times, YEAH i just found out this.
Today SO i was In brandon's class as A ptsd, class and he was bringing up one of his deployments in two thousand and. Seven he brought up A, Maria, iraq AND i served there in two thousand and. Six and there's another town just down the road Called. FERRISTOWN i was, like is that the same A? Maria and
is there another town down the street Called. Farristown he's, like, yeah, Yeah AND i was, like oh, YEAH i was there in two thousand and six AND i didn't even know that until day when he was doing HIS ptsd.
Class so that was pretty.
Cool it's a small world in, it it, Is, yeah especially when you get into.
That it's nice to have somebody. Relate BECAUSE i tell, you or my my, father my, friends my ex, wife you, know WHEN i was. Married they don't really get. It they're like shock and, all like you, KNOW i tell them the stories and then they're just like, uh BUT i tell. Him we get all fired. Up we start remembering. Routes we're, like oh, yeah we were fighting Al kaida and they had h and me and they, were you, know burying five hundred pounds of.
Explosive and he brought up he brought up THE. T there's A t intersection in A'm maria right there and then one at THE. T one road goes south OR i don't know what. DIRECTION i think it's south To ferristown and there is. That he was talking about that tea. INTERSECTION i knew it. Well we patrolled that, yeah all the.
Time so why'd you decide on The Marine.
Corps oh good. Question SO i didn't it chose?
Me SO i was working AT gnc In, Frisco, texas at the mall At Stonebarre mall and The marine res recruiter came in and we got to talking and he's, like you, know what's your? Plans what do you? KNOW i was, like, WELL i just. Graduated i'm gonna go community. College he's, like, well you, know The marines will pay for your. COLLEGE i was like, okay and then he's, like did you play? SPORTS i was, like, YEAH i played. Football and he's, like The marines have a football team
and you can play for The. Marines all you have to do, is you, know sign. Up SO i went to the recruiting. Office he made me watch the whole recruiting video AND i was, like all, right where do you sign me? Up so it kind of chose. ME i guess, okay, yeah all, right.
That translates into a LOW gt. Score The marines is the only one that would take him from the fifth grade reading.
Level, yes it's getting, good it's getting. Real so all, right football player, Plan oh that's the. Thing that's a real. Thing got to be pretty decent to make that.
Team, YEAH i was For Plane West Senior High school and, yeah we went my senior, year we went seven and.
Three we missed the.
Playoffs the top three teams made it to the. Playoffs, ACTUALLY i played with two players that actually ended up making it to THE. Nfl, Nice, yeah The Quel vaughan and he ended up going To arkansas AND i believe he ended up with the leave with the forty nine. Ers and Then David, lofton who's actually the son Of James, lofton who's A hall Of famer.
For The Green Bay. Packers.
NICE i played with them in high school AND i Think David lofton ended up with The Miami.
Dolphins so very. Nice yeah that's. Cool. Yeah, yeah, so uh it's it's a very good football when you come To, texas when you get into Like, plano it's it's a little different. Level.
Yeah, yeah they've been having some rough years, late but back in uh, yeah early two, Thousands, yeah it was pretty.
Competitive mm.
Hmm. Absolutely so you joined The, corps you deploy and what you're, again it was.
Six so my first deployment was in two thousand and, three, okay, yeah AND i did three deployments between combat deployments between two thousand and three and two thousand and.
SIX i, mean do you Do brand four? FOUR i, thought, well you guys like punching that frequent, Flyer.
Yeah, yeah yeah. Yeah three three.
Deployments my second deployment was For Operation Phantom Fury, Fleujah Iraq November december two thousand and.
Four oh we were there together, Too. Yeah we talked out leisure back the second.
Time, yeah, yeah. Yeah It felujah brings up a lot of yeah, memories some GUYS i knew that aren't with us. Anymore, okay so coming home PTSD's party life at some. Point it.
Is SO i got out in two thousand and, six AND i don't THINK i even knew WHAT ptsd.
Was almost no one. Did in two thousand and.
Six, YEAH i, didn't you.
KNOW i THINK i had a two hour class and they gave us some brochures and said if you're having you, know if you need help, whatever you, know call the number or go to the website or.
Whatever AND i think everyone just shoved those in the drawer didn't think about.
It BECAUSE i got back from my third deployment In august AND i was getting out of the Marine corps In, october SO i quickly got back from my third deployment and then basically transitioned out of The Marine. Corps AND i actually didn't even go to THE va UNTIL i believe twenty eleven is WHEN i first went to THE va to get help with MY.
Ptsd know what was going?
ON i, Was, YEAH i was just self medicating with.
ALCOHOL i was drinking a.
LOT i wasn't just wasn't the PERSON i used to, be you, know the PERSON i wanted to. Be at the urging of some friends and, family they, said, hey you know you should go TO va and you, know get, help see what they have to offer and stuff like. That so that was the first time in twenty eleven ACTUALLY i went to THE va to try to get.
Help what were the symptoms you were dealing with are causing you to?
Drink SO i was dealing WITH i had, insomnia, flashbacks, nightmares.
You, KNOW i was felt.
DEPRESSED i had a lot of, anger AND i didn't know where that anger was really coming. From you, KNOW i was lashing out at family and friends and it was just a side of me THAT i didn't even know WHO i. Was AND i needed to figure that, out and SO i went to THE va to try to get help and with WHAT i didn't know at the time WAS.
Ptsd what was their suggestion?
Prescription, yeah so they prescribed me a bunch of medication at, first AND i don't even THINK i can name it, all but you, know stuff for some SSRs to help with my, depressions some stuff to help with my, nightmares with my with my, sleep and stuff like, that WHICH i didn't EVEN i didn't really. TAKE i THINK i took it for a little, while but not enough for it to make an. Effect AND i WAS i was still,
drinking AND i was missing. APPOINTMENTS i GUESS i just wasn't taking it serious AS i should have back in twenty.
Eleven were those psyche appointments or medical? Appoints?
Uh?
Both?
Yeah?
Both, okay all, right how long do you do?
THAT i was in and out of THE va from twenty eleven up until this past, year WHEN i KNEW i needed to make a change because WHAT i was doing wasn't. Working and that's WHEN i Found Camp hope and decided that IF i don't do, something you, KNOW i need to do something because What i've been doing hasn't been, working and that's HOW i found myself making decisions on my own to come To Camp.
Hope so, typically not, always but typically there's something that the straw that breaks the camel's. Back was there something that, Like, okay this has gone on too, long or something, happens or what was it that finally brought you to the point WHERE i got to do something. Different we like to call that TO D day's YOUR d. Day, Yeah.
So it wasn't anything with the law or anything like. That it WAS i was sick and tired of being sick and. Tired my daughter's, seventeen my son's, nine AND i was just tired of being sick and. Tired AND i KNEW i needed to do something for myself but also for my kids and they needed, me AND i missed a lot of their lives due TO ptsd in my alcohol. Use AND i knew that IF i didn't do something, NOW i never. Would AND i HEARD i learned About Camp.
Hope how did you hear about?
CAMP i heard learned About Camp hope through Uh Nathan. GONZALEZ i served with him In. India, YEAH i served with him an indie, Company, yeah indie.
Company Thurb, Time Fifth. Marines we served.
Together, yeah same company in The Marine, corps and we've kept in touch off and on throughout the. Years AND i knew he worked At Camp hope or he was involved With Camp. Hope AND i, said, hey what does someone have to? Do what DO i what does someone have to do to come To Camp? Hope and he basically was, saying you, know your D d two fourteen need need to be a combat veteran and stuff like. That we're both, like, yeah you know you're you're, that you know you'd qualify and stuff like.
That so he sent me a. LINK i.
Applied it was probably took me no longer than five. Minutes it was a quick, application talk a little bit about your, deployments you know what brands and stuff like, that and then you send it in and then, yeah someone contacted me a couple of days later From Camp.
Hope did he tell you how much it? Costs?
Free he, said it's, free just just get. There and.
You, know ACTUALLY i, was, YEAH i didn't even have to pay for my plane Tickets southwest a free ticket On southwest thanks to, uh you, KNOW i guess THE Ptsd foundation to.
Us, yeah SO.
I flew here From, uh, Yeah california flew me in The Houston nate picked me.
Up how awesome is? That?
Yeah, yeah so it. Was it was chauffeur, service door to door so.
Here, yeah that's. Fantastic. Awesome your family supportive of what's going.
On they've been very. Supportive, so my mom and my sister currently live In. Dallas my brother lives In Oklahoma. City there you, Go i've been. Here, yeah shake you ahead of. Me So i've been At So i've been At Camp hope about ninety six, DAYS i, believe plus or. Minus and they've probably come to visit me five or six. Times and that's From dallas And Oklahoma. City my brother's, flown my sister and my mom have.
Driven that's.
Awesome we got to take one more quick break and we'll get right back to it when we get back with more Of road To hope. Radio you know, what, FRIEND i think one of the things THAT i really love is not in the. Plan it's just what happens At Camp. Hope. Uh like you, mentioned you Called nathan because you serve with him and he picks you up when you come into. Town you get here and you're here for ninety six. Days and finally figure out you
guys were in the same. PLACE i loved hearing these guys seven, eight, nine ten years later and guys they met in the, program which again people that had another otherwise. Met, necessarily you two would have never met if it weren't For Camp. Hope but seven, eight, nine ten years from, now you guys will still be. Friends. POSSIBLY i love those.
STORIES i love seeing that all the, time, guys some of our staff go out and do the bike riding, thing like these guys would have never met each other and probably didn't wouldn't have liked each, other at least not in the condition that they were in at the, time but they came To Camp hope but friends years.
Later.
That, uh that brings me a lot of. Joy All, right so you Decide Camp hope's the place for. You, Yeah i'm sure it helped that you Knew. Nathan it.
Did, yeah it helped a. Lot knowing That nathan worked for the for the foundation. Helped it kind of reassured, me you know that you, Know and THEN i know That nathan went through the program graduated as, well and we talked about the program and he said it really helped him a.
Lot it didn't cure him from.
HIS, ptsd but gave him tools to, live tools to live a different way of, living, basically that's how he said. It so it kind of gave me the final nudge to go ahead and make the decision to you, know, basically to Leave california and come To houston to be At Camp.
Hope that's a big, step especially when you know the program's designed to be rather. Lengthy, yes six to nine. Months so there's so if, you if you just think about, it those of your listening, like this is a whole new world to. You combat. That so you got combat related, trauma probably several other traumas in your life the time you get to. Camp so you got this mental health
thing going ON. Ptsd so anxiety almost one hundred percent of the, time the anxieties through the, roof and now you're gonna up and go to some you've never, been be around a bunch of people you've never, met and do. What SO i JUST i try to put myself in that, mindset like how anxious must a person be when they are about to step onto this campus that they're going
to spend the next however many months of their. Life what's it going to be like it had to help obviously you With, nathan but if you don't know, anybody and even if you, DO i, mean the anxiety is still got to be pretty. Roal.
Yeah so for, ME i got out in two thousand and, Six SO i spent nineteen years and life just wasn't working for.
ME i tried different.
THINGS i attended church for a, while got sober for a, while fell back into drinking and stuff like, that and WHAT i was doing just wasn't. Working SO i figured six to nine months IF i could come To Camp, hope get, sober and you, know get closer To. God that was an important. Thing WHEN i found out it was a faith based. Foundation that was a big thing
for me BECAUSE i wanted to get closer To. God those, things, yeah made it easier because IF i kept on the PATH i was, going you, know it wasn't gonna nothing was gonna cure. ITSELF i needed to get out of my you, know WHERE i was, living go to a new place six to nine, months all.
Right.
ALMOST i felt LIKE i looked at it as like a. Deployment all, right HERE i, Am i'm gonna go To. Houston i'm gonna do this. Thing i'm gonna get, Sober i'm gonna get closer To, god get new tools for my tool, belt learn a new way of.
Living AND i wasn't.
ANXIOUS i Knew, nate BUT i wasn't anxious BECAUSE i KNEW i was gonna be with my. BROTHERS i KNEW i was gonna be with guys that are combat veterans that. Served you know something we, have you, know different, generations but we all have that same thing common that we signed up to serve our, country went to, combat you, know and came. Back and whether IT'S ptsd or substance, abuse we all have that one thing in, common was serving our country in. Combat so that that reassured me a little.
Bit shared. Experience, yes it's it's it's.
POWERFUL i would have rather went back To iraq than to come To Camp. Hope it was awful the first TIME i came in the second, time it was so so much fear and anxiety BECAUSE i had so much a lot of our, guys including, myself have so much toxic. Shame because there were really good, men had good. Professions we've served our country most most of these, men all
of them are really good. Men but when you start to do things to cope and you go, downhill you're so shameful and you're so, isolated you don't want to look people in the. Eyes and that's how that's how most of us show, up including. Myself it was it was not. COOL i almost left almost every day for the first couple of, weeks and, guys guys will do, that like just stay one more, hour just stay one more, day and we're, like if we and get one more day out of, them because it's not easy in the.
Beginning it's interesting because on that tour THAT i, mentioned the three hour, tour one of the staff members THAT i introduced them to made the comment coming To Camp hope was the scariest Thing i've ever. Done and then he made it very clear it was scarier than boot. Camp it was scarier than going to war coming To Camp. Hope and you know that got everybody's, attention all right when you hear, that like, oh and then he went
on to say. Why he, Said the reason WAS i knew WHEN i, WENT i had to own WHAT i had, done WHAT i had failed to, do AND i had to look deep into my. SOUL i knew what was coming and that's what scared.
Me that's the accountability. Piece, yes you spent a couple of weeks on our, campus you're going to, Realize oh my, gosh these dudes are the real deal and they've healed from. This they're doing it and if in the way it's set. UP i don't want to give away the secret, sauce but that's that's how it's set. Up man to face this stuff and to grow into heal from OUR. Ptsd and it's it's hard because you're facing. Yourself that's what
we're fighting when we show. UP i was fighting, myself, now you, guys not the, staff not the, counselor's not my you, know, unit or my ex. Wife it was Facing brandon and that that was. TERRIFYING M and all the stuff we pushed down from combat exact because that's part of the coping, skill you, know disassociate from it BECAUSE i gotta. FIGHT i got to move on to the next. FIGHT i can't deal with.
This, yeah there's there's certain THINGS i haven't thought about or talked about SINCE i was in The Marine, corps AND i just pushed those things, down didn't want to talk about, them try not to think about them and those some of those are some of the Things i'm working through now At Camp.
Hope so.
Our time here is all, unfortunate almost. Done this is always just the fastest hour of my, week every Single how in the world have we already? Done because they always just want to hear so much? More but ninety six days, in so you've still got a long way to. Go, yes what's changing in your? Mindset when you wake up in the, morning you compare to how you felt this morning when you woke up versus six months ago when you woke.
UP i, MEAN i feel.
Great first of, All i'm, Sober i'm not. Hungover that, Helps, yeah that helps a. Lot the clarity of thought doing morning. Devotionals, hey that leaves.
ME i had to cut you off because, sure but real, quick you mentioned you you came here wanting to work on your relationship With.
God, yes that was a big.
Thing so for, me real, quick how has that developed for? You and how has it affected? You that you know there's others that have no interest in, It so how's that worked for you while you've been?
HERE i, MEAN i know myself And i've had a relationship with The. LORD i gave my life To christ WHEN i was in high. School, UNFORTUNATELY i fell. Away AND i know WHEN i got sober for a brief time AND i try to get my life kind of to try to get my life back on. TRACK i was going to, CHURCH i was reading My. Bible my relationship With jesus was, close AND i wanted to get back to that AND i just wasn't able to do.
IT i, was to be, HONEST i wasn't able to get sober on my own enough to go back to, church read My, bible and going To Camp hope made that easier for. Me and it structured like they, said it's accountability AND i don't have any.
DISTRACTIONS i don't.
Have you're making some progress.
There i'm making. Progress i'm closer to The. LORD i have a relationship with The lord.
Now it's. Awesome that's WHERE i want.
To be big thank you to everybody. Listening you listen to the podcast wherever you listen to Podcasts road To, hope if you hit that subscribe, button we truly do appreciate. It also really appreciate. It if you share. It you never know who may come across. It maybe it's the first time they've heard about. It maybe it's the tenth, time but it's the time that got their. Attention please share. It you never know who might need what we have to.
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