Reclaiming Life

Multiple people in my family clean my father, are veterans, troops.

That have been to war and now they're back and think and be grateful for their service, sacrifice, love for their country, just unselfishness, all that they do for us.

There are some people in this country who take extraordinary steps to provide for the freedom and security.

We forget that those people exist. We know them as the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coast Guard. They call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors, devil.

Dogs, and so much more.

We call them fathers, brothers, sons and husbands, mothers, daughters, sisters and wives. We call them friend and neighbor. These veterans answered the call, now we answer theirs. They are the best our country has to offer.

And we love them.

Today, we honor them and we serve them. David Malsby is your host, and he welcomes you to this community of veterans, as together we are building the road to hope.

And indeed we are glad to have you along. On a Sunday afternoon on the kPr C nine five oh on the AM dial here in Houston, Texas. Thank you for joining us as you drive endlessly around Luke six ' ten. Thank you for choosing to listen to Road to Hope Radio wherever you listen to podcasts. If you'll just look up Road to Hope Radio and wherever you look listen to podcasts, hit the subscribe button, it'll automatically download.

I'm doing good today.

You want to remind the world who you are, where you're from, where you serve that kind of wonderful thing.

Yes, sir, my name is Kenneth Matthews. I'm from dun North Carolina. I served in the Army National Guard out of North Carolina for eight years. Deployed twice, once to i Rag in two thousand and the second employment was to Kuwait, Kyrkistan and Afghanistan and that was in twenty eleven, twenty twelve.

All right, great to have you back. Thank you, appreciate you actually speaking words. That was good. Well, we also have one of the gentlemen that's in our program at Camp Hope right now. We'll talk a little bit about that in the course of the show. But Rico, you want to tell the world who you are, where you're from. That kind of good thing.

Okay, thank you. My name is Jesse Rico. I'm from Belvidere, Illinois. I deployed with the one seventy second Striker Gay Combat Team with Bravo Company one seventeen out of Fort Waynwright, Alaska to Mozoul for a year, and then was extended to Baghdad for ale was like four more months, and I was infantryman slash mortarman. But yeah, now I'm residing Texas.

To me again, where you were originally from?

Belvidere, Illinois, right side right outside from Chicago.

Yep, no of fence. But Chicago is just not my favorite town in the world.

You like it not too much?

Yeah, okay, well, thank you. Yeah, Like I've been there a few times and I keep thinking there's gotta be a draw because you know something's.

Good, the food's good. Well, that's about it.

You're in Houston, so I don't need to hear about that. We got food running out our ears around here. Good food. But yeah, yeah, yeah, and I guess that's what I've heard. And there's this one. I guess this pier or something that's like all the weird people from out of state go to, like, eh, tourist trap sounds it's like it's like San Antonio's the riverwalks, like it's the last place you should go. If you go to San Antonio, stay far away from that. Uh so yeah, no fence, but yeah,

Yeah.

Some people are right, some people are wrong. It's just it's just how it is. But you're in Houston now, yeah yeah.

How long kids? My kids resided San Antonio?

Okay, very cool.

Yeah, but I'm in Houston.

How long have you been in Houston?

Uh? Two years?

Okay? All right? What brought you to Houston?

I came to the program the first time.

Okay, so that was what brought you the first time. Okay, okay, all right, got you, all right, We're gonna take a quick break. We wanna give you our phone number eight seven seven seven one, seven seventy eight seventy three. That is our combat Trauma support line. Eight seven seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy three. A combat veteran will answer the phone. A combat veteran will answer the phone anytime, day or night. All right, We're gonna take a quick break.

I was trying to get out of a lifestyle, got you, that was mixed with gangs and stuff to Mexico, stay with my grandma. I met a girl, got got her pregnant, then I got married. So once my daughter was born, I realized, you know, I had to make a change. So there was an opportunity and I and I took it all right.

See, join the army and you were in how long? Again?

I have five years?

Five years the infantry. What year did you join?

Yeah, it was two thousand and one.

One, so before nine to eleven.

No, it was right after right after?

Yeah, okay, join the army. How long was it before you deployed?

Right after basic training? I got so quick. Yeah, I went right to a unit. I was in Anchorage, Alaska, and then they moved me to Fairbanks, Alaska with the Bravo Company one seventeen.

How long were you in Fairbanks?

Eight years?

Oh?

Eight years?

Yai. So I've been there once, but it was in July.

Training is very very cold.

Yo, No, I can't do that. The summer's great summer was fantastic, absolutely stunning. Went some did some salmon fishing. Uh, we're coming home. We're coming home, coming back to the hotel. They're in Anchorage and it's like dusk and it was before everybody had a cell phone, so I had no idea what time it was, but it was dusk and I'm thinking something, it must be like nine or ten. Like, no, it was three thirty in the morning still, which that's okay.

Yeah?

I mean some people love that. I just it's just not for me.

Once I got out of the military, I stayed there to work with General Dynamics. I did DoD work and I worked for a support trained soldiers to go down range and strike her net. And I don't know I enjoyed it. But my kid's mother, she was already fed up with the whole changing. Twenty four hour darkness, twenty four hours sunlight, so too cold?

Yeah, what do you like the cold? Weakens say, I'm gonna make him talk. I will find a way to make him talk. I actually like the cold, do you?

Yes, sir?

It didn't get real cold and done North Carolina. I mean for long right.

Now, about thirty to forty threes doing the winter months.

Yeah, which that's okay. If the sun shine, yeah, well.

I really expecien.

The cold was when of I was deployed to Kirkizstan and when it sounds cold, oh yes, between mountains, it's uh.

When I landed, it was a negative twenty eight degrees.

Oh no, no, that's not fit for God nor beast man beast, that's no.

I wasn't used to it at first, but it took about. It took about a month and then you kind of get used to it.

No, m hmm, nope, no, I'll pass. What was the best Millia had in Kirkistan?

Well, I was on an air Force base.

Oh so you ate pretty good? Oh yes, I love these stories. I was Air Force, so I had it easy. I hear this all the time, Like I know, some of you guys had some interesting moments. But that's what I hear all the time. But it was great.

I was at an army dupe, I know, but they sent me sent me there because I didn't complain, did you?

I got in trouble, so they sent you to the Air Force base because it was cold. No, nobody wanted to do.

It to Okay, all right, but you had decent food.

Oh yes, sir, I'm my own room.

That's more than you get at Camp Ho. Right, you don't get your own room at Camp Hop on purpose, you are not getting your own room. We do feed you.

Well though, Yes, sir, yeah, I need to lose some weight right now.

You've been working on that, which I think is cool. I need to too, but it's just not near as much fun as it is putting it on.

Oh yeah, putting it on is real easy.

Yeah, well yeah, and fun. Did I mention it was fun? Eating is fun? It goes back to my thing, our ole. Our official tagline at the PTSD Foundation is Hope and Healing for the Unseen Wounds of War. But I always follow that up with our unofficial tagline is we like to eat, so you know, bring on the food, which is why we love all of our restaurants around Houston

Yes, it was half chicken fijeta and the other half was brisket.

Yep, brisket and chicken fahetas. I didn't eat any well, I did eat something while there. Uh so we had that. Let me get through this. So we had that, and then we had we had Big City Wings and they provided four hundred boneless wings and like a small lake of ranch dressing. It was dressing. Uh so I was gonna reseit. I didn't eat anything while I was there, but I did eat two celery sticks, so just you know, to be honest, I did eat two cellary sticks. But

Right after those, we had tacos.

And I I had left before the taco showed up, but I'm told that was the best thing of the night. Do you agree that? Yes, that looked legit, just pictures of it. It looked like that looks legit. Yeah, So we like to eat. Who cares if the game's any good or not. We're gonna eat. Okay, So after the Army. You go into basically some contractor type work. Yeah, yep h. So you're in Anchorage for a years?

Yeah, fair Banks?

All right, Fairbanks. I'm sorry.

So at some point, yes, I sent my family away to Texas. I ended up going to a program called the American Lake Dominicillary through the VA, and I was there for two years.

Why did you go there?

I started having PTSD episodes.

Did you know that's what it was? Or did you as knew something was up you went to the VA.

I had no idea what it was.

Like.

It kind of freaked me out in a way, like I was getting these flashbacks and and my kid's mother was pregnant at the time with my youngest and I don't know, just out of safetyes I called her dad told her and they need to move and I need to figure out what what's going on. And I noticed different changes that were happening.

So you mentioned the flashbacks, Yes, what else was going on?

I started getting seizures and that was kind of had because I had a TBI when I was over there.

I was gonna ask because when you throw the siege in there.

Yeah, I was hit directly underneath my striker when I was hanging out the hatch, I got hey, buy an a V bid, not a V bid, but an I d U and knock me out. And later on I find out I had three slip disc in a dislocated hereah and some other myths.

All right again, we're gonna have to run to break reminder our phone number eight seven seven seven one, seven seventy eight seventy three. We do realize we'd like to joke around show a lot because it just can get really dark, really fast, So we like to bring a little levity to the situation. But we do realize these can be triggering eight seven seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy three. It's not a doctor or a PA that answers the phone, it's a combat vet, so they

Job.

Can have you ever been blown up? That's me neither thus to us. Yeah, I just I have obviously a lot of friends who have been, and some of them multiple times. Like what should not you know? Find another job? So what year was that you got hit?

It was like September twenty sixth two thousand and five oh five.

So we were talking off air, you mentioned you were still in the Army when they diagnosed you with both PTSD and TBI. Was that right after you got hit?

Uh? No, I ended up coming back and I had issues in the army. I started self medicating what alcohol and drugs, and my brother pulled some strings in the Navy to get me to a STARPS program in Point Loma and he managed to get me a spot there. So my SARPs lady from Army she told my command, but my command said in order for me to go, I had to say it was command order, no longer self.

Mad trying to get help. Yeah, yeah, which is what they tell you to do, and then you get in trouble for asking for help. Okay, So that's when and where you were diagnosed with PTSD INBI.

But I never really I guess in my mind, I said it's not gonna happen to me. And when it started happening. I was kind of more worried for my kids and family. Yeah, so I sent them sanutonium And what year was that you got diagnosed? I was diagnosed, It would have been in two thousand and eight.

Yeah, so that makes sense to me because obviously through time everything changes. But in two thousand and eight, there was a lot of misunderstanding about PTSD. I maintained they still don't know what's going on with TBI. I just I don't think they've ever really figured out how to treat that. Everybody I've ever talked to, including recently who's been diagnosed with TBIs, like, they don't seem to have

Yeah, Wash, I see Dacoma, Washington.

Okay, another beautiful place but darker, light raining all the time.

It seems like I was in the two high suicide.

Well and that was it's they had super high. Now, the numbers were lower because there weren't as many veterans there's like there are in southern California or Texas or Florida. Those are the highest populated. But the percentage in the suicide rate in Washington was crazy. Yeah. So you're in that program two and a half years ish, Yes, and then what'd you do?

Why I was in the program. I got over medicated by the VA program. Imagine that I ended up in Fort Lewis hospital with my head. They tried to claim it was me committed suicide. I was like, you guys, give me the medication to take. I don't know how I'm trying to do that, but.

Get it to the p V. Put you on a bunch of medication when they diagnosed.

You, Yes, sir, I think I was They had me on like fourteen different pills initially when I first got donosed.

Okay, so when they put you on this cocktail of pills, did that strike you as this seems like a lot? Did it not cross your mind that this was a lot at the time? And I'm talking about now, but at the time, and maybe you're just you know, you got PTSD, you got some you know, things aren't working right, all right, So I would understan no matter what the answer is. But did it kind of strike you as odd that they give you that many pills?

Initially?

I was just like, you know what, it's a doctor of prescribing this, So I mean, they know it's better for me than I do.

That's at least that's what I thought.

And I've heard that many times too. So for instance, the Vietnam vet that came through our program was really the first graduate of our program way way back in twenty twelve, and same thing, a bunch of medications, and like, did you bother to ask anybody? And I came to find and talking to some of these guys just like it was the soldier mentality, This is an order, you fulfill the order, whatever the whatever your command tells you.

I was at eighteen?

Eighteen?

Yeah, very high doses.

That was while you were in the in the program.

Oh, I wasn't taking as many as in the program. The minute they sent me away. I was.

So when they sent you away, they sent you away with.

Eighteen when I finally reunited with my kids mom, and.

So you're trying to go home, yeah, and they've got you on eight teen pills.

So I end up going back to Alaska. I got to figure out how to move from Alaska to where they're at. I don't want them to come back. But then now I'm like, this is a lot of pills. Yeah, this is normal. So uh yeah it was. It was a struggle.

Yeah's with the things that they did and continue to do. Really, it's just it's just crazy to me. It's criminal what they do to our guys. All right, we're going to take one more break here eight seven seven seven one, seven seventy eight seventy three, not only for Camp Hope, but also for our warrior groups, family support groups that take place in person and as well as online, so you can be a little bit anywhere in the world, jump online, be a part of one of our support

Ago, yes, two thousand and twenty three.

Twenty three. Okay, how did you originally hear about us?

I was at Loyal Ridge in San Antonio.

It was rehab rehabcility. Yep.

We'll see these guys with tattoos on their arms and they would always go into the room and that you cant it was. It was a mandatory. But one day I walked it into the classes, see what what you know? What was being pitched and they started talking about Camp Hope and what kind of program it was. And I guess the thing that kind of got me was faith based, like something I didn't have really in my mindset at the time. I was kind of at my lowest when I was there, and I wanted to try. So I've

I had Did you have a faith system, some faith that you were practicing prior to the military or no.

I grew up as a Catholic and I followed my cultural traditions. All my kids are baptized, first communions, confirmations and stuff like that. Sure, it's just like seemed like after combat, I kind of broke away from everything.

A story. We're here all the time all the time at camp, so you hear about that and that kind of picture interests and need to try something different because what I've been doing is not working. Yeah, so you come into camp, you're there for how long?

The first time I did he go was there for ten months. Then I moved to tunnels of towers. But by by that time, when I graduated, everything I didn't take into, I was able to get the help I needed, and I was able to get deep into what I guess I had hidden that I stuffed down. And but then by that time, I've already filed for divorce, so I'm not used to not having my kids no more, not being there, even though they were only two years, two hours away. It was it was a different lifestyle.

Okay, so how long have you been back?

Been back for two months.

I choose to come back.

It was like home, Like I I knew I would have got. I knew the help that I got before, and I knew the people I see him like family. And uh So, in a way, I was kind of embarrassed going back, because you know, I feel like I failed. But that's not the way they made me feel. You know, they were all happy to see me again. And uh, you know, went back to the same Miller Bay and uh you know, the same cooks you know they were,

And this story we hear a lot feel safe. Uh, And of course we obviously love hearing that. And you're right, we I know it's difficult for guys when they for whatever reason, you know, they stop doing what they learned to do while they're at camp, and things get can get dark really quickly, and there's that there's always that anxiety of what's going to be like if I go back, and what's everybody gonna think? And I get that. I can understand why people feel that way, but we we

Thank you.

Yeah, very glad you're here. Did you feel that like like this is home when you were at camp it felt safe?

Yes, sir, to the fact, like once I graduated and I started working on the foundation. I don't know if you remember, but I had to go back to North Carolina for like five months because of that court and probation.

But once I got all that.

Completed and graduated from probation, that court, I mean, when I came back to Camp Hope, it was like I never left. Everybody welcomed me, gave me big old hugs, Glad you're back, Kenetha. We knew you would make it, And it was just like I had a sense of gratitude about the whole situation because I know that Camp Pope saved my life. And I mean, well, God in Camp Hoope, that's I can't that's the only only people I a thing for it the way how my life is right now.

What was that like for you to stand before the judge when you went back with your you got your certificate, you completed, you got your coin. I've done what I set out to do. I've done what we agreed for me to do. What was that like for you to stand before that judge?

Mh I'm not.

Allowed to, y'all cried.

It was it was like, just uh a feeling of accomplishment. The judge, the DA and everybody in ventquart in North Carolina. They actually, uh put Kenneth Tecks Matthews on my certificate because I've talked about camp Hope every single time in front of the court.

Uh.

And it was to the point that once I graduated and came back down here, like I want to say, it was not even.

Thirty days day, all flew down here to see what Camp Hope was about.

They flew down, Yes, sir, who all did it was a Hornett County Judge, Harnett County DA assistant DA in a couple bitcourt.

How about that? So you made you definitely made an impression on them, because it's got to be that smile right there. It has got to be that smile. Kenneth Texas and Texas short for Texas. Is that what I'm hearing? Yes, sir, so even they know Texas barbecue is better than North Carolina. You know I had to throw that. You knew I was not going to go showing you that. Throwing that in there.

I thought we've almost made it.

No, did you tell them Texas barbecue is better than North Carolina barbecue? After they said you're clear.

I didn't say nothing about no barbecue.

Probably a good choice. I hope while they were in town though, they enjoyed some Texas barbecue. I hope they did that while they were here. But that's awesome though, that they would go to the time and expense to come out and see what what's this place that changed your life so much? That's that's absolutely awesome. I love that story.

Yeah, it was definitely like a proud moment.

All right, guys, we are out of time, Regal. Thank you sharing sister. Keep doing the work that you need to get done. You deserve it, Your family deserves the best version of you that you can provide. Keep doing what you're doing, don't quit, don't give up. And praying for you and pray that they continue to get done what needs to get done. Thank you, sir Kenneth, Thanks for sharing your story. Thanks for what you're doing to