Multiple people in my family clean my father, are veterans and the troops.
That have been de war and now they're back and think and be grateful for their service, sacrifice, love for the country, just unselfishness, all that they do for us. There are some people in this country who take extraordinary steps to provide for their freedom and security. We forget that those people exist.
We know them as the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coastguard. They call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors, devil.
Dogs, and so much more. We call them.
Fathers, brothers, sons and husbands, mothers, daughters, sisters and wives. We call them friend and neighbor. These veterans answered the call, now we answer theirs. They are the best our country has to offer, and.
We love them.
Today, we honor them and we start them. David maulsbys your host, and he welcomes you to this community of veterans, as together we are building the road to hope.
And indeed we are glad to have you along. On a Sunday afternoon on the kPr C the nine to five on the AM dial, thank you for joining us, those of you listening through the magic of technology called podcast Wherever you listen to podcasts, just Road to Hope Radio, and we greatly appreciate, appreciate you not only listening but sharing. It's absolutely free cost. Nothing takes just a second to share it with your friends, your enemies, neighbors, who cares,
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Hope Radio. So eight years of this and if you go to the Road to Hope Radio Facebook page, you will see a mention of it there and a link to the iHeartMedia app version of Road Hope Radio. But where again, wherever you listen to podcasts, just look for Road to Hope Radio. But there's eight years of stories there. So while you're waiting for you know, the next show to drop, you got eight years to get caught up on.
So appreciate you doing that. Appreciate so very much our show sponsors that pay for the time but can't help it, say a big shout out and thank you tremendous appreciation for Michael Barry, who voices the introduction for us. But if it were not for Michael and his passion to help get this thing launched, the show never would have been a possibility. So great thank you to Michael Berry for his support of the show, obviously his support of
the foundation. I think this coming week will be I think it's the twelfth anniversary of his first visit to Camp Hope and we could never ever fully express what he has meant to this organization, to Camp Hope in particular, but his influence, his massive listening audience that he brings to bear in what we're trying to get accomplished in
the veteran community. Forever thankful to mister Michael Berry for helping us get this show going and for all that he does for the PTSD Foundation of America and Camp Hope. And the guy he had to help convinced was ed Martini. Got to say a great, big thank you to Eddie. He has been a fantastic friend through the years as well well. He does much for Saint Jude. He's also been a great supporter of what's going on in Camp Hope. Invites our guys, it's crazy, invites our guys to come
out and play golf at the Saint Jude fundraiser. The guys always have a great time every December when they get a chance to do that. So a big thank you to Eddie Martini because he had to approve it and get the final Okay, let's make it happen. And of course iHeart Media, big thank you to iHeart Media. This is where our show is recorded each week. This is where we air KPRC nine to five. Oh. iHeart Media radio station. I think it's the oldest in Houston.
I believe the oldest radio station in Houston, and we are proud to have the opportunity to be a part of that and part of the great history of KPRC and iHeart Media here in the Houston area. And I got to say thank you to Robert Reees. Robert's the guy that always makes sure we have our show fully sponsored and we are grateful for all the work he
as everybody else that I heart. I mean, I hate to start naming people because everyone we've ever worked with that I heart everybody has just been extremely supportive and not just of the show and helping make the show happen, all the things that have to be done pushing all the right buttons. There's a lot of buttons, and I would never get that straight. So, but everybody that's been a part of it, Robert's been a good friend to the foundation from the beginning of Michael's involvement, and we
just are truly grateful. So a reminder wherever you listen to podcast, just look for Road to Hope Radio. If you'll hit that little subscribe button, it's free, or follow whichever whatever it says on your venue where you find podcasts, it'll download automatically each and every week. You'll have it there.
You can listen to it at you're convenience. You can even speed it up and make it sound really literally fast, so you can get through an hour show in a pretty quick amount of time if that's the way you choose to do it. But again, thank you for being with us, Thanks for everybody who's been a part of establishing Road to Hope Radio sustaining it. We are excited about having completed eight years now of broadcasting this show. Look forward to all the years coming up. It's going
to be a fun ride. All right, we'll come back. We've got a couple of v's in the studio with us.
Will write back with more of Road to Hope Radio.
And we're welcome back Rode Hope Rio. Glad to have you along.
All right.
We got a couple of guys in the studio with us that are super excited about getting a chanced to talk and tell some of their stories. It's always fun to try to draw it out of them. Meach Week, Lindburg, welcome back. Not your first rodeo.
Here, No, no, sir, thank you for having me.
Remind the world branch and where you're from and where you're deployed.
Linburg Freeman, the third United States Army fifteen Juliet Mos does not exist anymore, but that is air cavalry for the Army.
And where are you from?
Originally originally born and raised in New York, Long.
Island, Okay. And where'd you deploy?
I deployed to Iraq for Operation nu Dawn. Okay, gotcha, all right, New York. We we love, we love you.
We have to limit how many Yankees we allow and at any particular time.
Well, I've adopted wearing the Astroe.
There you go for you. So the program does work, works if you work it. So there's a couple of guys around there. I keep threatening me that CAP's gotta go. Man, you gotta know where you're at now. Glad to have you here, and what do you do for the foundation now? Because you're you came through the program? When you did you come through?
I've been through the program twice. My first time was at the end of twenty nineteen into twenty twenty, twenty twenty, second time was twenty twenty two, graduated twenty twenty three, and currently right now I am a yellow phase mentor for the program.
Okay, very cool. So we may come back to that a little bit, because folks driving around sixteen right now, I have no idea what yellow phase means, but we may come back and talk a a little bit about the phases of the program. Also in the studio with us, we've got Jeremy who's currently in the program at Camp Hope. You want to tell everybody in the world who you are and all your good stuff.
My name is Jeremy Holt. I'm from Mace, Arizona. Served in the United States Marine Corps First Battalion, six Marines. I served in Ramadi, Iraq in two thousand and six and then down in the Hellman Province in Afghanistan city of Garmentshire in two thousand and eight.
Okay, so let's back up in just a second. When did you join the Corps?
I joined the Corps two thousand and five. It was August two thousand and five.
Right out of high school or no, I.
Kind of went in a little later.
I was about twenty one when I joined, and uh, yeah, I just felt the calling to to answer you know what happened, uh after nine to eleven. I just felt the conviction to serve my country.
Why did you choose the Marine Corps?
Because, uh, it was.
Just my my grandfather was a marine in Korea, and you know some of the stories he told me, and just like seeing the uniforms and and uh just you know, the Marine Corps to me was the best in the best branch.
So I wanted to walk in those same footsteps.
You agree, history can repeat itself, you know with his lineage coming from the Marines's My ground father was army in World War Two, so it was kind of inevitable that.
So is that a big reason why you chose the Army?
Absolutely?
Family, Yes, sir, got you? Okay, all right, It's always interesting you know what I mean. Sometimes it's something like that that makes a lot of sense, and then sometimes it's just how in the world did that just come out of his mouth? That that's why he chose that particular branch. Okay, so family history, marine Corps, goodness, going back to Korea.
That's Uh.
Those stories are sometimes really difficult to hear if you can ever get them.
Yeah, he was here. Yeah, my he was injured over there. He got hit with a grenade. Luckily he didn't lose any limbs, but he had trap metal in him.
He's a prople heart recipient. Uh, he just was. Uh. Yeah, he he's a role model to me.
Uh.
I kind of followed in his footsteps after I got all the War two. He was an engineer, and uh I kind of chose that path after I got on the Marine Corps as well, kind of followed in his footsteps there as well.
So what did you do in between high school and the Corps?
Uh? Trouble, Yeah, I was, I was. I was getting in a little trouble.
I was working construction mainly, Uh, in and out of jobs. I was just still young. I had no Yeah, no, I knew I wanted to join the service. I got in a little bit of trouble, so it delayed it, uh for about a year and a half. Uh And you know, once that, once I put that behind me, I was full steam ahead and uh yeah I went in right away.
Okay. And what were what were you doing? Typical day out there's it was a typical day, but kind of the main thing you were doing while you were deployed.
So, uh, I was communicatations. I was uh. Uh I was in the first Town six Marines Infantry.
Uh. You know.
Two thousand and six, I was attached to Bravo Company, uh as a radio operator. Uh again in uh two thousand and eight, Uh, I got attached to a weapons company, and I mainly was a dismount hervey. I uh helped sweet for IEDs uh you know uh h helped with communication between the platoon and uh yeah just uh.
Just uh yeah. This is the this very difficult with deployments.
Yeah, certainly, neither of those countries are on my bucket list in any way, shape or form. Not a place I want to go, not people I want to have to interact with. What were you doing on your deployment, Lindburgh, Your basic job at typical day as if they were typical day.
I was a fifteen Juliet which was an avionic electrician and weapons tech on the Kyawa Scout helicopter. So a typical day was me on the flight line oftentimes, you know, we serviced electronics, you know, cockpit instruments, things of that nature, like things I can't really go into. But then you know, we had the weapons component of the job, which I really love. I just didn't you know, you know, uh, I had to understand, like you know, working with things
that can make me disappear, you know. But yeah, it was a It's different than being with the infantry unit tremendously because I was typically stationary one spot in the on the flight line, unless you know, we had a split fob operation which required driving or we had to fly out of the camp camp site itself. So with us being stationary, anybody that's stationary over there, you are prone to attack, you know. So we definitely were attacked. I came very close to, you know, not making it
back home. Grace of God saved me.
You know.
My grandmother died before the deployment, and I was not allowed to come home to New York for her funeral, and so I wrote a letter for my older sister to read at her her wake, and you know, I just believed that she was there with me on that day. You know, tell a lot of people that you know, my life hasn't been mine since that day. You know, like all this is borrowed time, is God's time. So very thankful, thankful that you know, I was able to
get through that. I was one and done after that deployment. I came back and I was diagnosed with the sarcoidosis after I PCs from the unit that I deployed with. And you know, I was out of the military within two years. What year was that I was diagnosed in twenty thirteen? I was out by twenty fifteen.
Okay, those are you listening on KPRC. We're going to take a quick news break those listening through the podcast the Little Music, and be right back with more Road to Hope Radio, and we welcome you back Road to Hope Radio. Got Lindbergh, United States Army Jeremy United States Marine Corps veterans. Glad to have both of you all. I appreciate you sharing some of your story. I know it's not the most favorite parts of what you do
in a day. But a quick reminder as we do go through these stories not only of time and combat, but the struggles coming home with the mental health diagnosis and that type of thing, we know these can be triggering. So we want to ask everyone if you would please get out your phone put this phone number in it. Whether you think it's something you'll ever need or not, you never know whom you might come across someone who
needs the number. And the great thing is when someone calls this number, a combat veteran will answer the phone. So for anyone struggling with combat related trauma, that will mean the world to them to know that when they call a combat that's going to answer the phone that numbers eight seven seven seven one seven PTSD or seventy eight seventy three. There's a lot of seven. I'm gonna give it to you one more time eight seven seven
seven one seven seventy eight seventy three. And the website for the foundation PTSD Foundation of America and our interim housing facility called Camp Hope. That website is PTSD USA dot org. PTSD usa dot org. You can also follow along through our social media PTSD USA both on Facebook and uh formerly known as the Twitter currently known as the x PTSD USA on both of those platforms and on Instagram. Oh also on YouTube, I should have that PTSD USA on YouTube, and then the PTSD Foundation of
America on Instagram. So two deployments you mentioned. I don't remember these act words, but there were some difficult times. Obviously, Limberg went into a little bit of his and I'm not asking you go into yours, but clearly, if you're at Camp Hope for veterans who are dealing with combat related PTSD, now we deal with everything else in the world while they're with us. But that's the shared experience that everybody there has for you after two deployments. So
maybe it was, you know, during a deployment. I don't know, but when did you first notice something's something's not the way it should be.
It was after my first deployment to Ramadi. Uh I lost some brothers there. It was a really difficult deployment, very dangerous. Uh I d threats, indirect fire UH firefights on the on a daily basis, you know, then losing and losing people close to me. When I got back, you know, at the time, I didn't have time to grieve, and uh, I started noticing it when I got back from my first deployment a little more detached. My my
drinking started to pick up. And yeah, I was kind of just not following orders the way I used to. Just was kind of had some anxieties depression.
Did you talk to anybody about it while you were still in.
I didn't talk to anybody until after my second deployment. I had some other difficult things that happened while I lost my My grandfather passed away right before I went to Afghanistan. And then my father passed away about a week after I got back from Afghanistan. So, you know, coming back home, I was grieving with you know, my deployment to Afghanistan and getting out of the core.
Didn't know.
Too many people anymore, had been gone for a long time, and uh, yeah, I uh, you know, and then my dad passed away. And once he passed away, you know, I was there for about a week and then I went back to Campbell's Une. Uh and uh the last about three or four months before getting out, it was just dealing with the loss of every everybody, and and uh I started drinking. Uh you know, UH kind of got put out of the unit.
Uh.
So I was in another unit with a bunch of people I had uh not served with. Uh wasn't it wasn't close to anybody.
Uh. I was drinking. Uh.
You know, were either of you guys married when you were deployed?
No?
No, I was? Were you?
Yes?
I think that made it more difficult for you or find strength in that. How do you look at that now?
Oh, my wife and I at the time we are now divorced. But during that time period we actually communicated a lot better, and the communication between us was a lot stronger. Uh, being that my grandmother had just died before the deployment. I had a goal, you know, because before that I was not a model soldier at all. I was actually on my way to getting chaptered out of the army before the deployment, But it came down
to a numbers game and I ended up deploying. But you know, I decided to turn my loss into success, and communication with with my ex wife during that time definitely helped. So Yeah, Like, you know, being deployed and setting goals for the both of us, achieving them, being able to talk, you know, whether it was a good day or a bad day. It definitely helped during that time.
Okay, Uh, Jeremy, so you were struggling while you were still in when did you finally decide to reach out to get some some real help.
So when I first got out, I moved back to Arizona. I lived there for about a year, and I was really having a hard time. You know, I ended rolled into school right away and I was flunking out of classes.
I was partying too much.
And my mom decided to taught me into coming back to Texas, and so I moved in with my mother, and I was still having a hard time, and uh, you know, I ended up abusing prescription drugs from the VA, and uh, you know, I ended up going to the mental hospital.
For a.
Couple of weeks there, and then I enrolled into a PTSD program about two thousand and twelve in Waco, Texas.
It was about a four month.
Program and we had guys come to us from there in the early days.
And you know, I did that program.
But you know, honestly, after I got out of that program, I went back into isolation drinking still. You know, just kind of just wasn't present in the moment and at the time this is when I first met my wife and we were raising two kids, young young boys, and and uh, you know, my drinking was a lot heavier.
I was depressed all the time.
I just had a lot of anxiety and uh and uh, you know, I just kind of just stuffed everything that happened to me in my past and just just didn't really deal with the thoughts and the feelings that were you make me kind of self medicated with alcohol, and so.
You know, it is fifteen years of you know, avoidance.
That's always the part that just kind of hurts my heart, Linburger. You know, like your story, like, thank God for where you're at today and what you're able to do. And that's inspiring. It brings a lot of joy to a lot of people. To see where you are, to see how you are, what you're doing with your life. It truly is just an inspiring thing to get to see.
But to think about all those years in between where there was such a struggle and such you know, self harm and to you know, in whatever form or fashion, but stroying a life, not building a life, and just seeing that much time take place in between, it just always kind of hurts my heart to hear that a little bit, but we're going to uh in just a moment where we could take a break, but we'll come back. I want to talk a little bit about the program
at camp. You mentioned your yellow face will give a real high level, real fast version of the different phases of the program, but what you are able to do and how you're able to interact with the guys and help make some serious life choices as they start their journey of looking forward for the next phase of their life. All right, we're going to take a quick break, come back with more in just a moment, road to Hope Radio, and we walk me back road to Hope Radio. Glad
to have you along. So how long have you been at camp, Jeremy.
I've been at camp for crap. I just added that up. Oh that's all right, I think like seventy five days.
Okay, so you are still in rid I am yeah, okay. So black phase just kind of the real fast. The first thirty days of any veteran coming to the programs a black phase, and it's basically just we're shutting them out from the world during those thirty days. No communications,
no cell phones, no Internet connectivity, none of that. That's just and a big part of that is just to stabilize and to familiarize with here's who you're with, here's kind of how a day goes, and you know, all the stuff that was anxiety, uh pushing for you that led you to come to Camp Hope, let's just we'll deal with that in time. Right now, we're just let's let's let's calm down, Let's just take a breath and know you're in a safe place.
Black phase.
Red phase is really kind of the meat of the program. It's the bulk of the time in the program, generally speaking, and that's where they they're really digging in and learning and understanding a what PTSD has actually done to your brain and then you do start the whole how do you process all this? And that's why, yes, we will always say we're a program that serves combat related PTSD, but life We've all experienced trauma in our life and you can't pull one apart from the rest of them.
So while you're in that, particularly the red phase of the program, we're going to work on all of it. We're going to work through every whatever the traumas were and for for all of us, I mean lived a minute. You've got multiple traumas in your life. So we'll work on that once Red phase is completed, which is a process, uh, and they enter into yellow. You want to talk a little bit about what happens in yellow.
Yes, So Yellow phase is the late phase of the program. It is a tu month phase before graduation. During this phase, residence of Camp Hope are able to get their phones back.
You know, with the US mentors also being past residents of the program, we understand where you where you need to get to where you uh the how down in the depths you know you have to go to come somewhere where you're willing to give your cell phone away in this day and age, but it is it is vital because you know, people that do not understand may not be the best to help during that period in time. So we help reintegrate residents with it and to happen
their cell phones once again. We kind of limit the time that they do have it initially because it can be overload on the senses and provide too much stimulus at one period in time.
Yeah, I kind of. I mean there's ups and downs in every phase of life, in every phase of our program, but Yellow. It can get really extreme because they are they are reintegrating, they are starting to have those conversations and sometimes those people are having to have conversations with are part of the problem. So that can come with some really tremendous highs and some really difficult lows. The emotions can be all over the place during that time.
Yes, definitely, we do our best to give our residents the tools to help with these tough situations where they are repairing relationships with the family, spouses, children, you know, people that were there in their corner before they came to Camp Hope. We we do provide classes that that
we as Yellow Phase mentors do teach. We do provide outside resources to come in and help them with different things, whether it be financial management, you know, education on how to manage their own finances, education on how to get enrolled in school, take them to different job fairs, uh, you know, get them in touch with different outside organizations and register with them so that should they need assistance,
they know who they can go to. All that as well as you know, managing them today as they begin to speak with family and speak with their kids, their children, their spouses on a more consistent basis and dealing with a lot of things that they were weren't weren't present to see, you know, because they've been in program, you know, trying to help them communicate more effectively, assertively, helping them to understand what their role is, you know, reintegrating you know,
you can jump on the horse and go full gallop.
You know.
Jeremy, so you been read for a little bit. Is there anything that's kind of changed in your mindset yet? Is there some there a moment of victory somewhere in the program where like this really helped.
Or yeah, so right now it's coming into the program, I have got a reconnection with my uh Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Uh, growing more spiritual uh in this journey, just started going processing some of my trauma with counseling, so you know, learning about some of my behaviors, and you know why I was doing that, and and uh you know uh and then also sobriety, yea, that helps
a lot by itself. Yeah, And and the main thing that that that I've that's helped me here is just the other veterans that are in the program, peer to peer being able to have conversations with them Uh, day day in, day out, just getting closer to these guys and and uh, you know kind of experience and a lot of us the same similar experiences and and so uh just I'm basically reconnecting back with the world.
How did you hear about Camp Hope?
My wife?
Okay, Yeah, we we were having some marriage uh problems, and my wife was just worried. You know, she's watched me go do this for thirteen years that we've been together, and you know, she just ah, she had she met one of the outreach guys, Jake, at an event, and.
He he called me.
Uh.
I was reluctant to come to the program the first time.
Nothing just about everybody.
Yeah, And I mean that six months scared me a little bit, but you know, I kind of backed myself into a place where, you know, it was a saving grace for me. So you know, I'm happy that I chose to come. I gave up my job everything to come into this program and work on myself and you know, stop looking at the past and and focusing more on the present and being present for there, for my kids, my family, you and my mom, my sister.
You're you're very fortunate because you've been there long enough, seeing enough guys coming into the program and guys exiting the program. Not everybody has family support like you appear to have, so you're very blessed in that. Thank God for Yeah. All right, well, thank you for sharing, I know you know again sharing these kind of stories and talking about mental health diagnosis and all that stuff. It's not really oh boy, this is what I get to
do today. It's going to be great. Hopefully wasn't too painful. I try to It can be heavy, it can be like a really like you mentioned lots of several guys on that first deployment. I hear this all the time from guys. Yeah, I lost two or three or twelve whatever the number is while we were deployed, and I've lost multiples of that since I'm coming home. And that's
a dark, heavy conversation. So try to let lighten it up before we can insert some humor along the way and try to make it not too all the painful. So thanks for sharing some of your story. You being fed while you're there, I mean food in again.
Yeah, the food.
Yeah, I've gained some weight here and it's good food. I mean a lot of protein, a lot of carbohydrates.
So I'm grateful over for our community that helps make it all happen. It's a great community. Ptsd us a dot org. If you're looking for help, if you're looking for a way how you can help make these stories continue to happen. PTSDUSA dot org. All that information is there. We thank you for listening and look forward to being with you again next week for more of Road to Hope Radio