¶ "Stepping Into the New Year
What is going on Riverside Youth man ? We're here on another episode of our youth podcast and I'm so excited we got our good friend back , Juan .
Rios Jr . It's been a minute .
It's been a minute , it's been a hot minute .
We've had some special guests .
But you're back , we're doing another one and I'm excited because today we're kind of just going to talk , all right , and we're going to talk about this idea . We just stepped into a new year , 2024 . That's where we're at , and we stepped into a new series with our youth called New Era .
We just wrapped it up this past Sunday and I'm excited about a new year . But with new years come new challenges . They do . A lot of people think a new year knew me , which is true , but you still bring the same baggage through 2024 . So I don't know . Let's talk about it . I don't know where God might lead us in this conversation .
It could go off way off topic . We could talk about random stuff by the end of this thing . Who knows ? That's just who we are .
When you did the New Era thing , I laughed , because all my hats are made by New .
Era . Oh yeah , because that's a yeah , and I keep the New .
Era for a new you .
And everybody thinks it's because of New York , but it's like as a youth pastor .
I was like you know what , I have to do something . So somebody said , oh , you know what it looks like a new you and I was like oh , it's going to stick , so I'm like wait a minute , it's a new era for a new you .
So I just see how that works out .
Put them on . And I remember when you did the New Era I was like , oh , that's so sick .
You should have told me that you should have told me that at the beginning . That would have been a new era , a new you . But let's talk about that new era , new you . What does that look like , I think , for students , I'll have you kick it off , but students in 2024 , stepping into a new year and trying to be different .
At the beginning of every year , we always talk about how we want to do things different . We want to go to the gym , we want to have New Year's resolutions , we want to eat better , we want to get better grades . I don't know , but for students , I think in their spiritual walk that's what we're trying to teach . What can we do ? Let's talk about it .
Well , I think for one , we have to set realistic goals . I mean saying like oh , I'm going to eat better this year .
I'm going to eat healthy this year .
Well , I mean , just let's work on one day a week eating good .
Let's get rid of the back chips one day , and then let's go to two days and then let's go to three days instead of just setting it up for the year .
And then you fall short two or three times and you're like never mind . And we get discouraged Because we're setting goals that we can't hit when ? If we set little goals and we make those little goals . We're going to get more confident and feel more disciplined to be able to get bigger goals . But I think today we're such a I need it now kind of thing .
It's like everything has to be , like everything's fast , fast , fast .
And it's like we need to slow down . And just what are we truly spending our time on , and for what ? What are we spending our time doing ?
Right . I mean , what is it beneficial for us ? I think that's the thing that I think every year , we need to ask ourselves then . What are some things I talked about on Sunday ? What should we be eliminating ? What should we be getting rid of ? What are things in our life that are keeping us from the potential that ?
We can have From growing From growing , Because I think you have a wrong thing that is growing . So , for example , you're growing a plant right and a weed starts to grow . Weeds aren't good right . They're not good for a plant , they're going to keep it from its potential of growing . And I think you could look at it that way . What weeds are in our life ?
What things should we be getting rid of so that way we can grow into the full potential of God ? But I think a lot of us let's talk about this we like to keep the weeds , we want to keep them around , we want to , I think , for students and even humans , we like to entertain .
I think we've become so used to them that we've become so familiar that it doesn't bother us .
Right .
We're like oh , it's not that big of a deal . You know , like oh , it's just a few weeds . Like yeah , I know that I got a couple of friends that aren't quite there , you know .
But you know , I like this addiction , I like this group of people , I like the drugs and my alcohol .
And sometimes you might not even like partaking in it , but just being around it and feeling like you're a part of the clique . Sometimes a lot of kids you know and a lot of people get encouraged by that . You know what I mean , Because they're like when I was in high school .
All right , I was never in a gang , but I rolled with like three or four of them . So , I was cool with a lot of them . You knew them . But I mean I always kept my distance when it was time for them to go do gangster stuff . I was like hey .
I'll catch you guys at school tomorrow . I'll see you later . Yeah , yeah , like .
And even one time . I remember one time we were in Orlando and they were like yo , juan , you got to get out of the car and I was like what ? It was like midnight , we're like going up and down the drive and I'm like what do you mean ? He's like yo , we're going to go get this car , you got to get out . I was like all right , which .
I was like no , no , we're going to go get this car .
I was like oh , they saw a car that they were going to follow and steal . So I was like , but they knew like wants cool , but not like we're not going to get you in this kind of yeah yeah .
But I didn't really gain anything from that , right , I mean some experience and some knowledge , I guess .
Yeah , some street knowledge that kept you safe , maybe , but I look at it .
I'm like how much time have I wasted ? Or how much time do I waste , right , you know what I mean . Like there's so much more that I could be doing that would get me closer to my goals , right . Then just sitting around watching TV . Or you know what I'm going to ? Today's a lazy day , I'm just going to chill out , mm-hmm , you know it's like .
Or you could read a chapter of a book that you want to like work towards , right .
Not the whole book , just a chapter , just those little things .
Instead of watching just TV to watch TV or just have it on there for noise Right . Play an audio version of what you want to hear Right .
You know what I mean and the thing , and this just made me think , because we talk about little things , right , doing little things to start the year and work towards our goal .
But I also like this idea of the analogy that we just said about weeds , because you can't just pull the weed out and call it a day , right , you got to go back into , tend to that plant again , yep . And again Renortment , and again because if you , if you leave it for three days and don't do anything more , weeds are going to grow Right .
More things are going to come up . That shouldn't be a part of that , and so it's the same thing with our , our life . We can't expect to go to God one time , pray about this one situation and then never talk about it , never pray about it again and expect it to go away .
No , you got to go back to it and keep just one Even like , even like with you could always have too much of something . You know if you look at a plant , a plant needs water to live and it needs sunshine sunlight to live .
If you leave a plant out in the sun all day long more likely , it's going to get fried .
Yeah , yeah , it's going to die .
Or if you put too much water in there , it's going to drown , you know so it's like you have to make sure you have a good , healthy balance so you could get all the nutrients from the water and all the nutrients from the sun , you know , get what you need to get to keep growing .
But if you become complacent and you're just like , I'm cool with being a little teapot plant , that's all you're ever going to be as a teapot plant . But then you're going to get discouraged because you want to be a big boy pet but you're just a little teapot .
Yeah , you just start where you are .
Your way . You've grown yourself to be .
You've allowed yourself to be there . Yeah , I mean it's like you planted that .
You set that up . You chose that . The choices that you made is where you're at .
Right , there's this kind of thing that I live by . I guess you could say is this idea of God is never Like God loves you where you are , but he doesn't want you to stay where you are . Right , you know what I mean , and I think a lot of times we think God will let you stay where you are .
I mean , he'll let you If you choose to stay .
He'll be like If that's what you want , that's what I was going to say , we put ourselves in our situation right , Because this idea of free will , free choice we can choose what we want to do .
We choose to do this podcast . Do we have to ?
No , no we choose to do it , and so we have free will to choose and do what we want , and so we get ourselves in situations a lot . Right , especially , I think , with students , because when I was young , I didn't know better , you didn't know better . You were wrong with those gangs and had no idea what was better for you .
That's what you thought was going to be . I could have got killed easily if somebody else was shooting at them . Right , they weren't going to be like , oh wait , but that one guy is not a part of it . He doesn't want to be there . He's there . As far as they know , I'm associated , exactly .
And so I think we get ourselves in these situations . But it's the thing that we get into this mode of like . We think , okay , God doesn't love us , then because we put ourselves here , but it's the idea of like no , God loves you still , but he doesn't want you to stay in that situation .
Yeah .
You know , and I think that's just the idea of trying to wrap our head around , because it's when you're in those moments , it's when you're rolling with the gang , it's when you're stuck in that addiction . It's with your , with that friend group . You're like man . But if I leave these friends , they're going to make fun of me .
They're going to think I'm not cool anymore .
I might get jumped . I might be on the other side of it .
Right and it's like we don't want to put ourselves there , but ultimately we have to ask what's better for us .
Yeah .
You know what's what . Like you knew when they told you , hey , get out of the car . And you knew what they were going to go , do you knew it was better for you to just get out of the car , yeah . And I think for so many of us , and not just students , but adults , humans we need to learn . When are we going to get out of the car ?
Yeah .
When are we going to jump ship ? When's time , when is it going to be enough ? When are we going to be done with maybe some of the things that we have wrapped ourselves in and I think more than ever , with student ministry and life with students ?
I think one of the things I feel like is one of the things I feel like they , I want to teach them , and what I think God wants to show them is it's time to quit messing around .
Yeah , it's growing up . It's time to be done . Yeah , yeah .
You know , and it's hard , because we want to be kids . I want to be kids , though I'm about to be 26 this year .
But the Lord said , leave . Leave childish things behind so you could grow up . You know what I mean .
Like and that's what I think God wants us to do is to grow and stepping into a new year . It's funny because I'm not a new year's resolution guy , but I look at a new year's , new opportunities , sure , even though it's the same thing , like it's just another day . Yeah , you think that new year's day it's just another day . Yeah , it's 2024 .
Now the number at the end has changed . Okay , so so be it , but it's just another day . Yeah , but ultimately it's a new mindset . I think that's what it is . You know , every day is the same , whether we were about to jump into February . This is going to launch in February . It's January .
I don't even know what it is 30th 30th , but this is going to be in February , and so it's just like it's just another day , though , yeah .
But it's February now .
But it's just another day to just man . What am I going to do to change where I'm at ? What am I going to do differently to change who I am ? Because we can't stay complacent where we're at .
Well , you know what blows my mind about that . Though , although it's January now and this is going to air in February , god's word is always on time .
Oh yeah .
So , although we're talking about it today , somebody that watches it in February is going to need to hear exactly what we said Exactly so it's like Got gotta move with or without us , right ? If we didn't do this podcast , guess what ? Somebody ?
Else would somebody , would somebody else was gonna come into somebody's life , that you hear this true , true , true , and give them the message Right exactly because God's gonna make sure you get what he wants you to have right but we have choices .
Yeah and the choices that we make are the ones that are gonna help us grow Mm-hmm , or or choke us out with weeds right , and that's the thing I told you .
This podcast is gonna go anywhere . But choices , oh we could talk about . We could do six podcasts about choice .
Yep .
I mean we could talk about choices for the rest of our lives , because choices dictate our future . They do . Choices will dictate your future , and it's so . It's .
¶ Choosing the Right Path
It's almost like you got this way or this way . That's literally what it is . It's not a I got this way , this way , this way and this way . No , you got really just two right .
Maybe you got five options when you decide oh , it's not , maybe it's yes or no .
Right , it's either I'm gonna go here or I'm not gonna go there . And I'm gonna go here . You know what I mean . And it's the same thing with your friends . When you're hanging out with friends , you have the choice to either do what they do if it's good , okay , go do it . But if it's something bad , you have the choice to decide .
Am I gonna associate with this and be involved in this , or am I gonna choose to not be involved in this and go somewhere else ? Because see , if your friends are doing something good say , they're all going to church and you're like I'm gonna go . Okay cool , you just made a great choice that's gonna benefit your life in the long run .
But then if your friends are the friends that are like , all right , we're gonna go sneak out of our houses , do house . Friday night we're gonna go to a house party . There's gonna be alcohol , there's gonna be drugs there . Do you want to roll with us ? All right , I got a yes or no answer .
I have to give here , and that is a choice , and that was gonna lead you down a path of , because here's the thing I Was just talking about boundaries with some people this past week , and when you put yourself in a space where you were Constantly saying yes to people , then they then expect it from you right .
You know I mean and I'm learning boundaries because I'm a yes person and I always say yes to people but then it gets to the point where now , if I say no , they're like what do you mean ? No ?
Yeah , you will get a yes , yeah , yeah and it's like what do you mean ?
No , and so you go to that house party , right , you go do whatever your friends are doing and you say yes . Then the next time it rolls around you're thinking I'll just do it this one time . Yeah , the next time rolls around there , I assume you're in .
Yeah , they're gonna assume you're in they're not even gonna ask you .
They're gonna roll to your house text . You call you and be like yeah let's go and you're gonna be like , what do you mean ? I'm like , oh , we're going to another house party like , well , shoot , they're here . So now I got to go and it's just becomes a endless cycle of you're gonna keep doing it and that is not a good path to be on .
Some people might differ from that , but that is . You want to become an alcoholic , a drug addict , like that's where your life will leave , or you can just go to church .
Yeah and people are like well , I don't want to go to church , that's not , it's fun , but it's eternal value is yeah way better than the eternal value of being an alcoholic when you're 30 .
It's like a fertilizer you know like it's not gonna happen instantly , right , but it's gonna start setting in and it's gonna start doing what it needs to do so when you need it it's there , but it might not seem like a here's the thing to even with going to church , and might not seem like a good thing right away . You know what I mean .
Like you might come to church , like I . I remember when I went to church as a youth and I Like yeah cool yeah it didn't set into me right away , until I was like out of high school , that I was like really like , oh man , I need this or you might be coming to see a guy or girl , right ?
You know I mean like the whole reason to come into church is to get closer to somebody , right , other than Jesus .
You know I mean right , but you're here , you're so you're still sitting under the word , you're still receiving it , you're still hearing it that seat is getting so and you're surrounding yourself with people right who love Jesus you're surrounding yourself with people who .
You're building relationships with people who love Jesus and surrounding yourself with people who love Jesus , and that's ultimately what , whether you believe it or not , and we could get into the theology of Christianity and all that stuff , but I believe people who have moral values you know , spiritual moral values are going down a right path .
Their values might be different than yours in mind . But they still believe in the same thing . They stole the end goal , but they have values , and I think that's the thing is . When people are doing things that Aren't morally right , their values aren't there , and I love the idea of surrounding your .
You need to surround yourself with people who have moral values that point you in the right direction .
Somebody told me once , being a Christian is so much work , and if you look at it and you think about it , sin comes natural to us . Oh , 100% if you see a little kid , as I'm talking about like an infant kid Mm-hmm that that grabs a pen or and writes on the wall and as soon as you come in , they drop the pen . Yeah , they know it's wrong .
You haven't told them it's wrong , right , but they're there . We're sinful nature , right ?
So like it's what that's like .
Oh , I'm just gonna do this because it's fun , but you know like , oh crap , it's wrong , though , right you ?
know what I mean , like without even having to say something .
So , like it is harder to you , have to discipline yourself more to live right , because we're so naturally wrong , right .
You know what I mean .
We're so naturally sinful , right . So it is a little bit harder . You have to discipline yourself a little bit . You have to , like , change that mindset of oh look at that girl's butt to hey , you know what I'm gonna pray that nobody else looks at her like that because she's a daughter of Christ . You know what I mean ?
It's like you do have to work at changing your mindset , but when you finally do that , there's more freedom . Um , now that I'm a Christian , I have more freedom to do the things that I truly desire to do . Yeah then I did , when I wasn't right I .
It's so much easier to be a sinful person than a christ filled person or it is it's so much easier to be mean than it is to be nice .
Yeah , because it comes natural .
Whatever it's funny , it's cool , it's whatever , yeah , it's so easy to make fun of somebody , then it is to be nice to somebody .
Yeah especially when everybody else is being fun of it and being mean , and that is To me this sounds so people would probably 100% disagree with this , but I think if you wanted to water down what being a Christian is all about and listen , I'm not about being a Christian , about being a Jesus follower because you can get into the whole Christianity , yeah .
Yeah , I'm about following Jesus because Jesus was loving , kind and cared about people and you could get into this whole idea of .
To me , I just believe being a Christian slash Jesus follower is about just loving people and being kind to people , relationships , yeah you start there and just saying hey , you know what I'm going to , just try every day to be nice to people , yeah , whether or not they're nice to me . And that's the hard part , if you think about it .
That is the hard part is trying to be nice to people who aren't nice to you , because it turning the other cheek turning the other cheek and trying to walk away . I tell students every single day . There's so many students I feel like I talked to everyone sunday and every wednesday .
Let's say well , this person did this to me on at school on monday and and it really made me mad and I was like , well , what'd you do ? And they're like well , I went back at them and I we were arguing about and I was like , where you shouldn't just walked away , you should have just walked away , but that's but that would make me look like a coward .
Make me look like a punk and like , but it's the right thing to do , because you're not going to get into this fist fight with somebody . You're not going to fight somebody . What's fighting going to do ? It's not going to resolve any issues going to make stuff worse .
It's going to make it all worse for you .
You're going to get expelled , you're going to get in trouble , you're going to get a detention . It's going to make yourself worse . And then you're more angry because now you're in detention . Well , you stood there and stayed when you should have walked away . You should have churned the other cheek , you should have just let it go .
And I want to live my life Just being nice and kind and loving to people , whether they are like that to me or not .
And that is hard , I think , even in this generation , with students , to try to navigate being nice to people because I remember when I was in school I'm sure you remember when you're in school and every every decade I feel like it gets worse and worse . I'm scared for my kids when they go to school because who knows how much worse it's gonna .
Yeah yeah , I pray it gets better . I pray all the schools in Peoria are my gosh . They just turn to the cheek and they're , just like these , best schools in the world and we have the best education system . But who knows if that's gonna happen , but for this generation it's just so hard to Be like Jesus .
Yeah put it that way , and so maybe , since we're talking about this and we got a few minutes left , like we're talking about a new year , new us and maybe what are some things let's for the next five minutes , six minutes , let's talk about like what are some new , new things we can do to maybe Start looking like Jesus when we are in our world .
¶ The Importance of Choosing Relationships Carefully
What do you got off the top of your head ?
relationship . So , and what I mean by that is this I'm bad at relationships , yeah , outside of my marriage , like I'm bad at like Friendships . I'm bad at relationships because I've been hurt so much that I just rather not . I'm like , ah , you know what , if I don't build it , it can't crumble .
You know I mean that's amazing .
But it's also a very lonely place , yeah , so for me , I've chosen this year that I want to start being intentional About having relationship with the people that I want to grow with and I want to be like or have something to give to . Like I want to be intentional about the relationships that I have .
I don't want to just be cool with everybody and like , hey , I'll come over and eat , I'll come over and hang out . Yeah , that's a problem , I don't want to kill time anymore .
Like I want to actually be intentional about the choices that I make this year , or from here on out , I should say not even this year , and intentional about the people you surround yourself with yeah , exactly .
That's the key thing is picking . Who am I going to pick to be my friends ? Who am I ? Going to pick to be in a relationship with . We're starting a relationship series here and it's going to be amazing to see what comes out of that .
But just picking the people that are in your life because you pick the wrong person , that wrong person is going to take you the wrong way . Pastor Michael , when he was the youth pastor , he said this one thing . He said show me your five friends and I'll show you your future .
Yeah .
Show me who your five friends are , what they do , what they say , how they act , and I'll show you where you're going .
Somebody said the only reason I'm successful monetary , like money was today is because I surrounded myself around millionaires . He said I would go into meetings that I knew I had no reason being there , but the door opened up and I was there . I would shut my mouth and I would listen . And he says , and believe it or not , those men noticed this young guy .
That's like really listening to what they're saying and they brought me even closer . They were like yo , you know what , come here , since you really want to learn and you're not a wise guy and you don't think you know it all .
Right .
I want to pour into you .
Yeah .
And he said man , it changed everything from financially . He said now he's doing that spiritually .
Yeah .
He's like okay , who do I want to have ? Who do I want to base my relationship with God ? As , like , oh man , I love the way that this person worships . So I'm going to like be intentional about learning from that person .
Yes , instead of feeling like oh well , you know , I'm one of the youth leaders at the youth , so like I have it all together , I don't need to learn . Listen , let me tell you something . I learned some stuff from these kids , probably more than what they learned from us . You know what I mean and they don't .
Maybe we don't say it enough , but they don't even realize it . You know what I mean . They're like oh , whatever , you know it was just a letter that I wrote .
You know what I mean .
It's like yo , that letter like got me through some hard times because it was like wow , you know what ? I never even realized that they were listening , right . But a friend of mine , one of the guys that were in the gangs I'll call him Jay he goes . I met him . Well , not met him . I ran into him years later .
I was like 20 years later and he says yo , you know what I loved about you ? And I was like what's that ? He said you had to respect the gangs because you wouldn't cross the line . Yeah , and I was like , wow , that's crazy .
So , like the times that I might have thought like , oh man , they're going to think I'm a movie , they're going to think I'm a punk , they're going to think I'm like , oh , they're going to think this . And I did a lot . It went through my head a lot . I was like I should just get jumped in . You know what I mean . And and I never did .
And he said , dude , that's why I like respected you so much , like I wouldn't get messed with , like if another game mess with me , like they would just handle it or they would be like no , hey , it's off limits . So it's like I never understood why or knew why , right , but it was because I would never cross that line .
Right .
And if we look at it as youth today , I would say draw that line of this is my self-respect line and I'm not going to cross it , no matter what .
Right .
If that's a you're in a relationship and you're like , hey , you know what , I'm not going to go past hugging , I don't want to kiss . I want to go to hugs and hugs only yeah .
And if that's the what , the line that you want to give to , don't let yourself be pulled over you know , out of pure pressure or out of somebody else's need If that other person needs more , then they need to go somewhere else to do that because you're not going to compromise .
Exactly , exactly and especially and we'll get into it with relationships , especially if that's the person for you . It's all about drawing that line for yourself and waiting for taking those next time and for God's timing in all of those things and every single area of your life , just waiting for God to give you the green light .
And it sucks because we have to be patient and wait .
But being patient and waiting is the best thing we can do , because if we do it in our timing , when you plan to see it , it takes weeks to see a little out , weeks where , if you dug it up and checked on it every day , it wouldn't ruin it . You're gonna ruin it , so it's like it takes time for for for life to take action .
Time for growth it takes time for God to move and I think the reason why , with the few seconds we have left , takes , the reason why I believe it takes time for God to move , is because he wants to see if your faith is in it and your patience isn't . Yeah , he wants to see are you fully in ?
Because if you're fully in , you're gonna wait right you're gonna wait , you're gonna rate wait . You're gonna wait in line to go . You're gonna wait in line to go to Disney , right , yeah you're gonna wait in line to get through those turn-styles and go into Disney .
You're gonna wait the two hours they go in the Hogwarts right because that's what you want to do , because that's what you want you , but are you gonna wait for God to ? Move right are you gonna wait for him to give you what you need ? Are you gonna wait for him to show up ? Are you gonna wait for him to give you that friend to a New employee ?
You're gonna wait for him to give you that new relationship ? yep are you gonna wait for him to give you the faith to do what he's asked you to ?
do yeah .
Are you going to wait ? And I think that is a generation we live in where we don't like to wait .
Yeah , I don't like waiting , no .
I never want to wait . Yeah , I rather rather a freaking fly away yeah .
Yeah .
Get stuck in traffic . But we have to learn to wait on God . Learn to wait on him to move , that's right man . This podcast went by fast .
It did Dang . The birds were chirping . It's time up . That was our time .
By the way , I didn't want to interrupt my thought , but that was our timer to tell us we needed to shut up and stop talking .
That's all right .
But dang that one . We're going to have to do like a part two of this . Yeah yeah , that was crazy , but well , thanks for joining us . Thanks for being back , we're going to do another one of these soon , but we love you and we'll see you next time .
Uses .