The Giant D**k That Changed Chinese History Forever

I'm just going to tell a fun love story now. Yeah, this is the last you'll hear us talk about it for at least ten months. We had so much fun last week. Would tossed popcorn. Yeah, are hilarious, um and brilliant and just fast. They have a fun show too. Yeah, a good time definitely, So everybody. Hey, I'm Diana, welcome back to the show Ridiculous Romance. Oh yeah, if you didn't know the title, you do now. I don't know.

I was listening to podcast where they're like, and this is the show where we talk about this, and I guess our theme song does that job for us? I wonder if there's like a shuffle for podcasts or you just like play me a random episode of something. Maybe I should know this as a podcast post and producer. Well, I don't know how this industry works. We're back with a good one today. Very ridiculous, as ridiculous as they come. All our strengths history, big dicksins, true people running around

acting foolish. Also, it's ancient history. I don't think we've done an ancient history one in a while all the way back, I know. And to get a little out of the Western hemisphere too, because as you said, we've been in France a lot later. It's hard not to be in France a lot because there is some ridiculous Roman but honestly ancient China, ancient Japan. There's some silly ship going on, for sure. Absolutely, I'm so excited to

get into this today. No, right, So the time, it's around two hundred sixty b c e. The place the Chin State of ancient China. It's the Warring States period of ancient Chinese history, and that's a time where there were seven states who were all vying for power in

this nation. But one little love affair would forever change the course of history, leading to a unified China under Emperor Chin, who is the guy responsible for probably most of the things you know about China, such as erecting the Great Wall of China or um creating an enormous mausoleum protected by an army of life sized terra Cotta warriors. Yeah, but without one giant penis, none of it might have happened.

So let's here about Lu Eyes irresistibly big dick and how it changed the course of Chinese history before ever Hey, their French comel listen well, Eli and Diana got some stories to tell. There's no matchmaking, a romantic tips, It's just about ridiculous relationships, a lover, it might be any type of person at all, and abstract concept door a concrete wall. But if there's a story, were the second

Glance Ridiculous Roles a production of I Heart Radio. Our story starts with a traveling merchant named Lu Bu Wait who made tons of money selling his wares around the various states of China. He's like the original vacuum salesman

door to door Jeff Bezos stuff. Yeah, yeah, it was a fuller brushman anti China, and at the time the ruler was a guy named King jaos Young and one day the king's oldest son died, so his younger son, Lord ung Wo was promoted to air a parent and Lord Angwo was like hell yeah, so he promoted his favorite concubine, lady Huaiyuan to the status of primary wife. But the problem was Angwo and why Young didn't have

any kids together, So there's no air for Ngwoh. Okay, so Onwo is the son of the king and he don't have a kid with his with his wife. Uh so there's no grandkids. So we're talking like third in line. There's no one to take over exactly. They're very worried about his bloodlines. Exactly. They need to figure this out long term planners. Very true, and ung Woa did have twenty sons already, but they were from other concubines, not

his primary account. Basically they were like royalty, but not like they couldn't inherit right right right, None of them could rule um, but they did have other purposes. For example, one of his sons, Jin was sent away to the state of Joo to serve as a royal hostage, which basically means, okay, we have a peace treaty. You and I so I'll send you one of my sons as collateral.

Now you know I won't blow you up or something. Okay, so on gwo at some points like son, that was a great game of catch U. Now I have a new job for you. I need you to go be a hostage in other territory so that we don't come and go to war with them, so that we don't kill you. You're you're you're the shield this foreign human shield from You're the only thing stopping me from going in and slaughtering everyone there and taking over. At least they think that, yeah, if you see me coming uh

duck yeah, because it might not be to pick you up. Yeah. Well, one day lu Bua was traveling around Joo selling merchandise, doing his door to door thing when he came across Jigen in the capital Handan and he met Yegen found out that he's this royal hostage, and he knew that the queen didn't have any sons, and with the king only getting older, it seemed like this power vacuum was coming and Lubue's got the diamonds in his eyes, saw

an opportunity coming here. So Lubua took one look at this young prince and he said, quote, this is a rare piece of merchandise that should be saved for later. Yeah, guy knew a good deal, right. Apparently he even went there's a whole section where he goes to his father and he's like, listen, you know if you plant a bunch of stuff, like, what's the return on your investment? And his dad's like, oh, tens you know, it's tenfold? You know. Oh well what if you do this a hundredfold?

What if you do this a thousandfold? What if you're in charge of the next emperor of China? Oh well, your riches would be I mean, insanely trilliant. Come found interest. So he's like, I found him, I found him. I'm going to do this. It's a lot better than plant potato. Yeah. He's doing some math. Yeah, it's a very long term math. Okay. So he goes to this kid. He's like, hey, you're technically the son of the heir to the throne, even though your mom isn't the queen. I'm gonna work with this.

I think I can make you the heir to the throne. And apparently was living in like pretty squalid conditions. So when this like enterprising merchant shows up with this great idea, like hey, yeah exactly, Yeah, oh boy, have I got your future planned out? And you're gonna be king of China, this guy is like, all right, yeah, that sounds good to me. What am I gonna lose here? So Yen promised, Okay, buddy, if you make me king, I'll share half the kingdom with you. I'll give you. I'll give Lubuay a ton

of money and land whatever you want. Just yeah, sure, make me king. You'll be my guy. Yeah, if you say so. Power behind the throne and all that. So Lubu Way went to the queen Lady Huaiian and suggested that she adopt Yushen as her air and Lady Huanyang had a reason to do this, all right. She definitely had interest here because if the king died and she never bore him a son, all her privileges and royal and royal titles and everything would also be stripped from her.

She wouldn't have any tie to the throne anymore. Classic Searcy issue classics. Right, She's got to make sure one of her kids is in charge, that she stays in power exactly, and preferably he comes to power a little too young. She can like that kind of thing. So yeah, Hwaiian is like, yeah, good call. I should be a part of picking this air and and getting myself security

for later. So she's like, I'm in. The King and Queen formally adopt Yijian and they bring him to the palace and rename him Si Chu meaning son of Chew, because she was from the Chew state of China, so it was like a way to kind of be like, oh, now he's my son. He's like my adopted son. So anyway, close enough, here's the air. Everybody shut up, okay. So lu Bue has convinced the King and Queen to adopt

this illegitimate son of the prince. Yeah all right. So lu Bue the merchant had this mistress and unfortunately for him, Zi Chu had met her and she was this beautiful dancing girl named Lady Joo, and to Chu became so infatuated with her that he asked Buei to give him Joo as a gift. And bue was not excited about this obviously. He's like, that's my girl. We've been together. It's kind of a thing. She dances like, that's kind

of cool. She's won a million here, you want to sleep with her, but I'm kind of sleeping with her. I don't really want to stop, uh huh. But he's like, I mean, I did um invest a lot of time and money and you and I have put you in line for the throne, and you did say you were going to give me anything I wanted. So he's like, all right, I guess I'll hand her over to you. No questionable ship here about give me this woman as

a gift. I hope. Lady Choo was like, at least got a chance to say, I guess he's not totally disgusting. Yeah right, I'll go. But probably not. She probably was told you live you used to live here, but now you live here. Yeah, maybe a speculation station. Maybe she was like, oh thank god, I don't want to be with the guy who willingly gave me to the emperor. I'd rather just be with this nice emperor to be,

nice emperor to be. I mean that's true, you know it was definitely yeah, like in terms of how she was treated, right, maybe maybe I don't know. Maybe so lubuway hands over this girl Joo. But unbeknownst to Chu, lady Joo was already pregnant with lu Bua's child, so she married a Chu and gave birth to a son, ying Jong into b C. And then in two fifty one BC, just eight years later, the king died and Lord Anguo ascended to the throne. But only three days

later he died, so boom Zi Chu is now the king. Wow, Lubua was like, my longs term plan. Had just got a whole lot very quickly. Oh yeah, that's what I like a guy who dies quick. So this kid who ended up king in like no time now fulfills his promise to the merchant lubuway and makes him a marquis, giving him a fifetom of over a hundred thousand households and making him the prime minister of the king. The guys got power, everything he wanted. He got his investment back.

Some other merchant is like, man, I bought all these beanie babies and they're worthless now except for that one lady died one. But then get this, only three years after that, ch died and his thirteen year old son yang Jung, who is biologically lu Bue's son, now becomes the king, but nobody knows it's lun Everybody thinks that it's Lady Jao and Chu's son, right, totally legitimate king,

no problem, even the kid doesn't know. Your real dad is the merchant who orchestrated all this crazy the true farce. It's such a soap opera, it really is. I'm like, yeah, one life to live wishes, so yeah, everything's coming up bou way. It's his way or the highway. And he's large in a charge. He's basically the regent because you know, king is still young, so he needs a lot of guidance his prime minister, so you know, he's kind of the the power power center of the palace at this point.

Um the king is his actual son, even though nobody knows it. I mean, that's pretty he to know that for himself. Let's keep it in his heart. And he even resumed his affair with Lady Joo once her husband once c was dead, so he's really got it all him. But after a little while, he started to worry that, like his affair with Jaw, would cause some problems with

the new king. As the king got older, would just be more and more problematic, would be scandalous for his prime minister to be sleeping with the dowager queen, and you know that's his mom. That's pretty messed up. It's like, I don't want my prime minister to end up being a stepdad. Also, like stepdad's aren't really a thing in this royal, Like, I don't want you to do that. I don't like that. But when he told Jow like, hey, maybe we should cool it, she us thought bu Way

was trifling with her and didn't love her anymore. So I guess she's like, oh, sure, politics, that's always your excuse. Was it politics that was texting you last night? No, baby, I swear it would just look really bad. The optics, I'm telling you, man's the optics between us. It's not me. It's the optics. But bait It was a clever guy. So he decides he's gonna like put his mind to it. I mean, after all, he orchestrated this entire dynasty basically

easy p easy to solve this one. R right. He didn't want to upset the king, but he also didn't want to alienate the queen. So what did he do? He decided that what Lady Joo needed was a distraction, preferably a nice big distraction. So distractions. So he goes out, you know what she needs the d and by D I mean distraction. So he goes out into the kingdom on a little talent search. I guess he's putting up posters everywhere, like if you know anyone more, call to uh.

And sure enough, eventually he came upon a man named Lao I who had a dick so big that it could be used as an axle for a carriage. That is not the myth or the exaggeration, That is what this guy did. The ancient Chinese historian Sama Chien wrote that who I would even get musicians to come and play songs while Lao I quote put his penis through a wheel of polonia wood and walk about making certain that the Queen Dowager would hear about it to entice her.

This little demonstration he's got going on outside, everybody gather around for this for the street performer slips his turgid dick through the spoke of a wooden wheel and just I guess, just runs around like he's playing the hoop and stick down the street. Girl. You would not believe what I saw in the square today, Queen, you would not believe it. This guy's dick so big. I'm hang on though the splinters. I definitely was like it better

be nice and sanded down before you pushed. I imagine that lu bu Way was like, this is a very this is going to be a very special dick, So we can't have it be pucked and cut up. It's got to be ready for service at any time. It's just the most important dick in China, right, nicely polished interior. Well, it worked because his his Axcel dick cranks worked and Lady Joe uh pricked up her ears of this big dick energy that Lau I was rolling around the square with.

But she's the dowager queen. You know how she's supposed to carry on an affair without causing a lot of scandals. You know, she could be persecuted, she could be ostracized for this kind of thing. That's exactly why bu Way was trying to end their affair, to not cause a bunch of problems. Right, but Bue's big brain hit on the perfect solution. He would have lou I accused of a crime something bad. Hear me out here out wait wait, wait, here we out. It's gonna sound crazy at first, but

trust me, it gets crazier. He would have low I accused of a crime, something bad enough to require him to be castrated, but instead of chopping off his dick, they would just shave his beard and pluck out his eyebrows, which were the more outward signs of a un Nick. It was the way you knew a Unich without having to like actually make him strip naked in front of you. That way, he whispers to lady Joo, Wow, I could be part of your harem. He'll be able to come and go and come and go, come and go as

often as he wanted without raising any suspicion. This whole strategy only Lubue could come up because I'm I'm thinking, First, we have to accuse him of a crime, So we gotta plant evidence, We need to hire witnesses. We gotta get this whole thing going. And then we got to make sure that he gets sentenced, so probably paying off the judge, make sure that this sentence really gets handed down like it's supposed to like we need it to. And then before they execute said sentence, we gotta bust

him out of jail. And then we'll just shave his eyebrows, pluck his shave his beard, pluck his eyebrows, put in back in jail, and tell him, oh, yeah, well we did it. We cut his dick off there. And by the way, the Queen wants miss us her personal sermons, no reason, no reason. Meanwhile, she's like, I don't care about his missing eyebrows and shape face as long as that d is in the palace right, And by D

I mean do process, which they did not have. So I think you're you're giving them a lot of credit. I feel like once the Prime Minister is like I want him castrated, bring him here and I'll do it, everyone was like, okay, long as it ain't me, I don't really care what happens this guy. So you're thinking much quicker, shorter, easier process. I don't think he had to hire nobody. He just said bring him here. I'm

gonna chop his dick off, no harm, no foul. I like this dick heist, and I'd rather see that movie. I mean, that is a fun heist movie. The Ocean's eleven up. Getting this guy's dick not chopped off like that. Lady chow Is down for this too. Is like, she's like, do whatever you need to do, just give me that dick. Dick, it's so big. I mean, there was not another person in the entire region who had a dick this big. It didn't matter, they'd have to do the same thing

with whoever it was. Right. Well, and considering that she, you know, was at first a dancing girl at lu bu Way's house and then handed off to another guy, it's been a nice that she gets to now do the choosing. Yeah, she's seen a lot of small dicks, probably doubt undoubtedly she's like, oh this is different. Oh this is a big d and by d I mean different. Amazing. Well, all in all, it worked out just like lu bu

A thought it would. Wow. I ended up having the freedom to roam around wherever he wished in the palace. The queen was well satisfied with her new lover, and nothing remained that could threaten lu Bua's power. That is until law I maybe understandably got a little cocky, started swinging that big cocky, started swinging that big dick around. And we will get more into that story right after this.

Welcome back everyone. So here's loo I walking around the palace, no beard or eyebrows, but he did have the love of the queen. Would you'll get you a lot further than facial hair in any day and age? So much so did did she have his favor that they ended up having two secret sons together who they hit away from yng Jong in the provinces. Like, so, my my son the king, I won't ever know about his secret half brothers because that would be bad news. You know,

kings hate surprise relatives, has nothing to hate more. I don't know many people who love a surprise eyes relatives. Well, okay, if I had a surprise couple of brothers out there, I'd be excited to meet him. I wouldn't be ahead them immediately. They wouldn't be threatening my power. I don't have any well, I mean, except for the inherent social structural power that I'm given as a straight white man in this world. But they're not going to threaten that.

Nobody that Oh it's too bad anyway. Jow showered Law with riches, giving him a palace of his own and hundreds of servants, and ennobling him as a marquis, which again just nobody's asking questions here because They're like that Eunich that we charged with a crime so heinous that we had to chop his dick off, who came in to work for you as a servant, now has his own palace and servants of his own justice. Because plenty

of eunuchs would certainly gain favor and power everything. I mean, for keeping with our Game of Thrones thing, let's not forget Varius whispers whispers. But yeah, it's a surprised that if anyone asked, they certainly kept it to themselves. I did not write that ship down, that's for sure. Or maybe they were just a different society from ours, and they respected that a former convict could actually turn their lives around and do something good for the world. You know,

I really got rehabilitated. Look at him being a great citizens helping the queen. The Queen's always so happy when she's been closeted with him. They're like a prisoner reform is real. We don't have to lock everyone up forever. We can help them turn around just by cutting their dicks off. A better world world t M. Anyway, So law I is a marquis. Now he's got his own palace, he's got his servants, and he started to get a

little arrogant and reckless, feeling a little bulletproof. Not to mention, the only thing anyone ever tells him is, Wow, your dick is so big. You're the best. Hi. Will you do that wheel thing again? So he would get drunk and he'd start boasting about his close personal relationship with the queen, and he liked to get drunk with some high level officials. So this was totally unhinged for his behavior.

This is a very stupid thing to do. And one night at a dinner party, after a big night full of drinking and partying, he got belligerent and he yelled, quote, I am the stepfather of the emperor. How dare some wretch opposed me? Let show you how big this dick is. Say that again? Like but he's like, no, you're supposed to be a eunuch. O can't other question? How is he hiding being a eunuch with this massive dong he's carrying around. He's always carrying some heavy bags in front

of him. It's like in sitcouncept to hide pregnancy. He just has a big bag. He's always like holding a bunch of bananas in front of his tables. Banana's perfect. Well one of these high level officials that he's yelling at. I guess it was probably like, man, this guy sucks at parties. He's always bragging about the queen. So he decided to go tell Ying Jung that Lao is run around boasting about fucking your mom, and law I also seems to be plotting to replace Yang Jung with one

of his hidden sons with the queen. Oh well, that ain't cool, and Ying Jung is like, oh hell no, So he puts out a royal proclamation basically being like, y'all see this guy, he has a dick, Like I know, it doesn't look like he has a dick because of the hair thing, but he does have a dick, and he's using it with my mom. Disgusting, and he wants to replace me with one of his sons with my mom.

Just one bad idea after another with this guy. So law I, who's you know, been orchestrating this whole thing, is like, oh shit, I got drunk, I screwed myself over. Oh man, my stupid giant dick again, thinking with my head, not with my head. So he's like, you know what actually overthrowing the king is a good idea. Let's fast

track this coup. So he took the Queen's seal, which is this special stamp that she used to authorize and legitimized orders from the palace, and he used it to mobilize his own army, which is crazy, like it's it's seriously just a rubber stamp. Get whatever you want you which I guess makes sense. I mean, there's only one place to get it. So if you like out in the provinces, you're like, well against the queen wants us to do this stamped it. What else do I have

to go on? I can't call her It's been notarized. Yeah, right, So the King yan Jong, who was traveling at the time, ordered his old buddy, the Prime Minister lu Bua, to attack lou Ey's army and suppress the rebellion. And lu Bua has got to be like, god fucking lou that all you had to do was you had one job with that big dick, and it was to keep the queen happy. But no you had to go slapping people in the face with it. And now I gotta deal

with it. So low I had put this whole army together at least a thousand guys, but none of them were military people. They didn't have any training, they weren't good at organizing, and the Royal Army definitely was, so they managed to kill hundreds of them during the battle, but Lau I himself managed to escape. He's running off the battlefield, tripping over his dick and he makes it into hiding. He said, you run a lot faster when

you have three legs. Oh no, no you don't. He like, yeah, he like stuck it in a wheel and then he just rolled awayycle he lost he lost an axel, and he's like, only one thing to do. I was born for this, It's my time. Well anyway, obviously, not catching Lao I, the guy who started the whole rebellion, it was not going to work for Yang Jung. He's like,

I need, I need to get him. So he placed a bounty on laois head one million copper coins if Lao I was brought to the king alive, and half a million if he was brought to the king dead, because Yeing Jong wanted to do that deed himself. Yes, he was incentivizing the opportunity to slap this guy around oh yeah, And it wasn't long before Lao I was discovered and brought before the king, and that's when the punishments began. All of Laoi's supporters were beheaded. Three generations

of Laos relatives were executed. Ying was like if I hear about a single loud left in the entire state of chin oh, y'all are next. He wanted to kill every single one of them. Before and after. Lao Ying did not kill his mother, Queen Yao, but he did like her imprison her in her palace as like she was like under house arrest for the rest of her life. Um and the two sons that she secretly had with

Lao I were found. They were placed into sacks and beaten to death, and Lao I was torn apart by five horses, which sounds to me like a quartering, like you know, but like maybe one on the head, an extra one, but one on the dick. Oh no, no, he's like one on each limb and one on the axle, and the horses all ran off in separate direction. One

of the worst horrifying death. Horrifying also like did you really find these two sons or did you just find two poor kids somewhere and we're like, you'll do you're probably them. But they didn't have fingerprinting back then, did they DNA evidence? That's true, but it would have been in his best interest to get the right people. Yeah, he knew. I mean, it happened to his own father.

If there's a guy running out there that happens to have enough of the bloodline, he could get enough support, he gives all lubu way and next thing, I know, right, So I feel like he probably did get the right kids, just like when they couldn't have been that easy to hide. I guess not. I just wonder when someone's in hiding like that in that era, like are you them? No?

Damn it? Okay, I guess we'll ask somebody else. Maybe it was real nice about it, like free ice cream for whoever are the secret sons of these two people? They come running, that's us, that's me cream. This is poison. What are you doing with that? Sec? I bet he followed the money because they must have been sending money somewhere. That's good, So he probably. So where's they sending money that we don't make doesn't make sense? Look at Detective Diana over here tracking down the secret suns Big d

d I meant stop, Okay, don't you mean desist? No? I do not no, no, Well that's what Yeing Jong was saying anyway. All right, Well how about Lubuai, the mastermind of the Big Dick affair. He was stripped of all his royal titles and he was sent into exile, but he was very scared that he was eventually going to be executed, so he just drank poison and died by suicide in two b C. I mean, if the other if he was worried about them five horses showing up,

and it was probably a better option exactly. I thought. The Sam was like, well, you just did the job for him basically. But I guess if you have to choose your death, you're going to be like, let me find the most painless way. Otherwise he's going to punish me. And I've seen what he does when he gets bad um And I think there was some inkling, like he had some idea that oh that's coming, but he's decided

he's pissed at me and coming for me. Probably the more information he's uncovering about this story, the angrier he's getting, absolutely, boy, and bu Ey's chosen retainers and trusted officials in the palace were also stripped of their titles. Ying wasn't taking any chances here, and he didn't want any loyal people sitting around. He did keep one around, Lisa, who became

Ying Jong's prime minister and trusted adviser. And we'll talk more about that guy later, but as of now, all of Ying Jong's enemies were totally rooted out, murdered whatever needed to do, and he was the undisputed king of the Chin State. Now it's at this point that Ying Jong starts to really shape history for China. Remember how at this point China is a collection of seven warring states. They're constantly vying for power or at the very least

autonomy from one another. Well, Ying Jung decided it's high time we unify all these states under my rule, of course, and he first went after the weakest state, Han and conquered it easily because again, weak state pretty small. Then he grabbed up the state of Jao, where his mother was from. Next, and bordering Chow was the state of Yin, and they knew they stood no chance of beating the powerful Chin army. But Crown Prince Don of Yin didn't want to take this land down, so he hatched an

assassination plot. So Don got to warriors Jinka and Chin Wu Young, and he's like, here's the deal. You're gonna go to Yan Xiang in Chin and pretend to be nobleman from Yen begging for mercy. You know you can be oh, oh mighty Chin King. We know we don't stand a chance against your power and influence. Ya YadA, YadA, and bring him some gifts, something he'll really really likes that. You can get in nice and close and then bow

you stick it to him. Easy. Yeah. Now they knew that Ying Jung wanted to conquer the du Kang region of the End State first because it had really fertile farmland, So one of their gifts would be this beautifully drawn map of du Kang to help him strategize. They're gonna stop by the gas station. They're gonna find that little rack with just a really nice fold out map like this was freshly printed yesterday. Like this is your last

bathroom break before you get into do it. Yes, there's no toilets, so make sure you something and on your way. This is the world's biggest noodle. And if you just pull off, it's a fifteen minute visit, but you won't regretted it so cool. They got little hats and buttons. You're gonna be You're gonna have stories to tell for days. Yeah. I mean, if you're going to conquer, you may as well enjoy yourself. Exactly exactly. It's about the journey, not

the d and by D I mean destinations. It won't stop. She won't stop. Um. But they knew that, you know, to get close enough to the king to stab him, a simple map was not going to be enough. They needed a better gift than that. Unfortunately, they knew about this disgraced Chin general Wan Yee, who was living in Yen. There was a price on his head from the state of Chin for a thousand gold pieces, and Wan Ye was pretty grumpy about that, so he wanted some revenge

on the Chin kingdom. Hate having a bounty on my head. This sucks assholes can't go anywhere. And I couldn't find out why they had a bounty on him to just just betrayed them in some way. And he was like, at that guy for me, but he really a thousand gold pieces is a lot of money, so he really wanted him. So Jim Cub went to him and told them about this assassination plan and all we got this map, and one he is like, listen, you got to give him more than a map. He's not going to let

you into the throne room just for that. That ain't enough of the gift, and Jinks like yeah about that. Um yeah. We thought that he would be pretty excited if we brought him like a bounty he was looking for, you know, a guy he like really wants dead, you know what I mean. And one he is like, oh yeah, huh, yeah, I know it sounds good. So oh oh you mean me, Like, yeah, that's that's that's why we're here. Here kind of came for you. Didn't want your permission to do this plan

or anything. Just thought hoping you'd come along with us. And one Ye actually thought, you know, like, guys, you really got something here. This is a great plan. Honest. I think he'll get close enough to kill him if you do that. And so he agrees to commit suicide so they can take his severed head to Yang Jung. That's commitment to I hate this dude so much that I know you'll get close to him with my head, so let me just go ahead, and it's all yours.

I mean, he really bet on this plan. So they behead the guy and then Prince Don gets them this super sharp dagger that's imbued with poison so that they can stab the king and they wrap it up in the map scroll. All they gotta do now is get at the palace, get inside, and killed the guy. Easy peasy. He's just yeah, he's part of the whole thing. We got the head, we got the map. I noticed there's no exit strategy, so they were clearly like, we'll probably die,

but whatever, they're going to kill him. The plan here, yeah, right, the point is the task. So Jinka and chin Wu Young get to the palace and they're granted permit to see the king. Oh you have gifts, Well right this way, my friends, please get as close as you'd like. He loves gifts. Two gifts. Well, I think you could even give him a hug. But at this point, who Young freezes up. This is a kind of a funny note

because he's known to be very tough. He was known to have had killed someone at the tender so he's like this guy but he gets in there, and he just gets like really terrified. Yeah, this is a big job used to killing, you know people as a kid. We just do it in the village. But I'm here at the palace. Everybody's watching me. Very upsetting. He starts trembling uncontrollably and like just having this little panic attack, and Jinka has to be like, oh, oh, don't worry

about him. It's nothing. He's just Oh, he's just never set eyes on the grace of the Son of Heaven here, So he's he's just flipping out, a little star struck about meeting the king. Don't where. He did the same thing when we met Kianu last year, totally freaked out. It's embarrassing. But don't worry about it. You know. It's like he's meeting Beyonce or something. You know, he's just losing his mind. He'll calm down when he gets in there. But the guards are not happening. They're like, nah, we're

not letting this fan boy in. You know, why don't you, Jinka go in and give him both gifts by yourself. So too man job has now become a one man job. So Jinka is probably like, God, damn it. Yeah, you're supposed to be my my fucking right hand man in this hold your ship together from some piece of ship.

So he goes into the throne room alone. He goes up to the king and politely presents him with the two gifts, and as the king starts to unroll the map, Jinka crabs the dagger and the king sleep and like plunges the dagger towards his heart, but ying Jung backs away, manages to to evade the dagger, tearing his sleeve in the process, and starts to run away. And he starts trying to pull his ceremonial sword out of his sheet, but he can't get it out because the swords too long.

So he's being chased around the throne room with Jinko wielding this poison dagger. He's pulling on this long ass sword that he can't get out of the chine, and there's no one else in the room has a weapon, because it's considered rude to have weapons around something. So they're just standing there like, oh, what do we do?

Circles he can't get like this is supposed to be decorative but exactly like it won't come out out, and the scene becomes even more of a cartoon when the court physician Shea Woudo joins the chase, smagging Jinka in the back with his medicine bag. Stu's get the dagger and he's trying to get the sword, and you get to see it. It's like a Roger Rabbit cartoon. Oh

my god. So the doctor hitting him with the medicine bag gives yan Jiang enough time to hide behind a pillar, and apparently his courtiers are are all like yelling at him, like he's on the prices right, like, get the sheath on your back and then you can draw the sword. Don't try stabbing him. Why don't you try stepping on the sheath and pull it out from there. Good idea that one. Just whip it, whip it, it'll fly off. Hit him, hit him with the health hit him with

the yeah, and he's freaking out. It's like, what are you saying? Number three? Is that number two? Which one? But he does. He manages to get the sheath on his back and he like pulls the sword out like that.

He jumps out from behind the pillar and he immediately stabbed Jinka in the thigh and sort of topples him, and desperate, Jinka throws the dagger at the king, but he misses, probably hits like a some old vase or something that falls and shatters through the round and someone's like, oh, I just finished painting that, or it just happens to like hit the eye of like a beautiful painting painting.

But Jinka ends up getting stabbed eight times for all this trouble, and even though he's dying, Jinko wants to get the last word, so he stretches out his legs in front of him in a gesture that was considered very rude at the time, and he just hurled insults at the king until the palace guards finally arrived and finished him off. They also killed chin Wu Yang, who tried to escape outside. This is why I was so nervous. I gotta get out of here. Sorry, swim fan, get

over here, Chaos. I mean, you could not write a better force like that ship is hilarious. I would love to see it on stage right. So yeah, that assassination plot did not work forre Wani, but it did make the Guinness Records for silious assassination attempt in his career. He was like, with it worth it cut my head off for a good joke. Well, and Yank Jung, you know, took it a little to heart. Personally, he does. He's

a little overreactivity. He does not like these attempts to stop him from doing what he wants to do, so he went after Yen with a vengeance, and Prince Don's father even tried to mollify him by putting Prince Don to death, Like he's like, let me kill him for you, I'll do watch me. I got it. God, my son is such an idiot moron. It's like that guy um uh In John Wick when his son is the guy who like and he's like, stupid bitch idiot, like punches

him out, which doesn't make me think. Like the court hot the royal hostage thing, how how much of a collateral is that it works? Like they weren't willing to kill their sons. This is a pretty extreme situation, it's true. But yeah, that did not work. He was like, thanks for killing him, but no, still going to take you over. And Yen fell to the Chin state five years after this assassination attempt. But it was not the last time

someone would try to put down Ying Jong. And we will find out about a second hilarious assassination attempt right after this commercial freak and welcome back to the show. So Jinka was dead. All his friends and relatives went into hiding after this because they were fearing reprisals from the king. I mean, let's remember three generations of Laos family were put to death, so they were kind of like, this guy doesn't like anyone, you will kill us all.

And one of Jinka's friends was a skilled loot player named Gao Jin Lee, and he hid his lute, changed his name, and became a waiter in a wine shop. It was like a whole new world, set up his own little personal witness protection. Basically, he's like, let me just dip out of here, start a whole new career. Forget this loot playing I've done for years. But one day, probably he's restock in the shelves or something, and the boss heard him singing and he's like, wow, my little

waiter is a great singer. I ought to recommend him to the king. So he gets called before the King ying Jong to do a little performance. And while Gau is playing the lute and singing, somebody recognized him as Jinka's friends oh no, hey, I know that guy. He knows that guy. Which, again, as to your point about there's no fingerprints, I'm just like people clearly were like I better remember every face because one day that it

could be useful. But Ying Jong was in a merciful mood that day, and he liked gals playing, so instead of putting him to death, he's like, buddy, I don't care that you were friends with my attempted assassin. You know you're a beautiful musician. I would never take this out of the world. I'm just going to gouge your eyes out. Pardon. Yeah, he blinded him. After that, Goal was welcome to play and singing for the king as often as he liked. Oh, thank you so much. That's

exactly what I wanted. No eyes in a new job, well go. Understandably, he was a little bitter at this point, but he kept playing and singing and singing and playing until one day the king started to relax his guard around Gal, and Goal began hiding little pieces of lead in his lute until it got heavier and heavier, and each day he would sit closer and closer to the king as he performed. Finally, when he was he was.

He was like, hey, here's the king. Here's here's little he's little pizza route lute here, and he's sitting right next to him. This machine kills fashion yep, And he picks up the loot and he swings hard at the King's head, hoping to cave his skull in and kill him once and for all. But he had this one little problem. You might recall, goal didn't have any eyes. He was blind. He could not see what he was doing, where he was, or which direction. So what was I

imagine like a pinata game? Pretty funny. Somebody's blindfolded takes a big, heavy swing, totally bift it. Do you think he spun around from the weight, totally bifted, swung in a big circle, missed the king, and it was no more lute playing for him. He was executed for this assassination attempt. Another assassination, Oh boy. Yeng Jong apparently was like, I don't want anybody from the state again anywhere near

me every again. I can't trust any of them. Right, He's like, I tried to be nice and just take your eyes. Yeah, what do you need? Those four at least useful thing on the body? I think so Despite attempts, no one could stop Ying Jung from unifying China, which he did successfully by two twenty one b C. And since he'd done all that, he wasn't any old king anymore. He would now be known as Chin shi Huang, the first Emperor of Chin, and it was time for some

big changes around here. Before Ying Jong's time, several schools of thought about society and culture and morality existed. They were freely debated. It was known as the Hundred Schools of Thought, and it included Confucianism and Taoism and tons of other just philosophies about how the world should work basically, so it's kind of like the Warring States. Time was like a really chaotic time, but it was also sort

of a golden period and freethinking Chinese history. But Chin chi Hwang and his Prime Minister Lisa, who remember was formerly the ally of Lubu Weah and the only guy that got kept on after they purge I guess you could call it um They both liked legalism the best. Now, legalists believe that humans are inherently selfish and had to be managed with a comprehensive set of rules, and those rules had to be enforced with severe punishments to keep them in line. Now they believed in the state above

all else, including the individual welfare of citizens. Lisa was into this philosophy, and he pointed out to the Emperor that the feudal system had been the downfall of China once already. As soon as a leader ran out of profitable fifedoms to award his loyal followers with those followers would get butt hurt and they would start plotting against the ruler out in the provinces. Surrounded by friends, these guys could easily rile up a force before the king

even knew what was going on. Far better, Lisa told the Emperor for him to centralize the government under a bureaucracy that operate from right here at the palace under his watchful eye. That way, no one could surprise him with any shenanigans. They wouldn't have this powerful warrior class capable of whipping up dissent. Instead, these guys would be tame and dependent courtiers and bureaucrats imposing the Emperor's will

on people. So Chin Chi Hwang liking this idea, which is maybe not surprising after the whole thing with his mom, and two assassination attempts. He centralized the government, creating a system where all power flowed from the emperor. I gotta say, though, you know, looking at his history, two assassination attempts, the thing with his mom, all of that happened because he was a dick. You know. He couldn't stand the fact that his mom had a boyfriend, and he executed three

generations of his family. Like, buddy, you brought this on yourself. As usual Meglomaniacs create their own first enemies, and then they say, I have to rule you with an iron fist, because otherwise you'll try to kill me. Like, well, we're not trying to kill you because you let us have our own autonomy. We're trying to kill you because you're an asshole. Yeah, because you keep killing us. Now we have the vengeance, you know, the vengeance that you have.

We have that. Well. He canceled all aristocratic titles and privileges that he himself did not make a grant, so a lot of people who were very rich and noble were put to manual labor. They lost everything. Oh there's nothing rich people hate more than being put to manual labor. Too. He also standardized currency. He canceled everything, and it was like, this is there's one thing. Now we all use also language, he said, we used one language, one script. Everything should

be able to be read by everyone else. He had canals and roads built to increase the efficiency of trade and of course the flow of information to and from the palace, because now you have this new system, you have to be you get a bunch of letters every day and be like how ship going way out there? Uh? And apparently it was the efficiency of this information flow

was pretty notable, like pretty awesome. Well, I mean, unifying your currency and giving a bunch of roads and canals for goods and information to flow around isn't the worst thing a ruler has ever done. Not really. I wish somebody would build some roads and canals and trains here now, right, Infrastructure What a thing. I guess there's an argument to be made for, like, you know, ethnic languages out in preference of another one. But but yeah, I the money

and the roads makes sense. He actually even required that the carriages on those roads had to have the same size axles engages so that they were easy to fix when they broke down, which is an interesting point. I never thought about them being made different sizes. But of course if you have a carriage that's a different size axle and you're traveling to to you know, a different state, and you can't find the size axle you need, well

that that stops everything. That's my chain is disrupted. So I need you to all have the same ship should be standardized. The interchangeable parts did a did a lot for the industry of man, and I wonder if he was like, just for his memory, let's make all axles the size of loudes. He made him bigger, just like now is dick don't fit? No, no, no. He made him smaller so that when people told the story of him using his dick as an axle, they're like, oh,

that's not that big. It's my dick's bigger than an axle, right, Yeng Jong was probably like, my dick's bigger than any This guy talked a big deal about his dick, But look how small a wheel is pencil into teeny wheels. After not that don't impress me much, he said, is that you? And of course you know he was again bit of a bit of a controlling guy, and he had the power of all the nation's laborers, and he puts them to work. He forced them to build huge projects.

For thirty years, seven hundred thousand workers built his tomb and the mausoleum that you see in China today with thousands of life sized terra cotta warriors. That's only a fraction of what they made. Most of it is still buried,

has yet to be uncovered. Another giant project was marrying all the disparate city walls together into one big Great Wall of China, which, as history collection dot com points out, quote, did double duty keeping the northern barbarians out and keeping the Chinese seeking to flee the emperor's onerous taxation and oppressive rule in So remember that about walls, they do two things. Not not an entrance nor exit exactly. Fun fact, I saw a part of the Great Wall when I

was in China and not this was before our time. Yes, this is before we were together. In two thousand seven, I got to go to China with my family. It was very cool and the part that we were we were in Chian, China, and they have a very big part of the wall still standing. And they said it was because actually they used sticky rice too. Basically, glue all the brick, all the stone together, and it was so effective that it's one of the strongest parts of

the wall. And I think about that every time I'm scraping egg yo popper plate dried egg yo, because I'm like, dried egg yo could hold a lot of ship together out of rice and egg yolk, and it'll stand the test of time. It'll be here. That's all I'm saying. Three thousand years from now. True, it's standing. Seriously. The emperor also ordered the burning of a bunch of history and philosophy books and banned all schools of thought but legalism.

So that's where we're getting into. Uh, yeah, thanks for the canals, but say it's so good. He even ordered the mass execution of a bunch of Confucianists by having them buried alive. Now, this brings us to the inevitable part of every story from ancient history, where we have to say that it's possible some historian was just making this ship up. All right, a lot of this story might be exaggerated or made up for various political purposes.

Uh that the story of lao Ey's giant dick comes from ancient Chinese historian Samachen's Records of the Grand Historian, which is a book he completed around nine BC. Confucianism was a prevailing mode of thinking by then, so they weren't big fans of the First Emperor at this point in history. He was like, you can't be confused. Yeah,

he banned all their teachings and schools and everything. So some historians, including John Noblock and Jeff Regal, who translated lu bu Ey's Spring and Autumn Annals, I think the story is quote patently false, meant to both libel lou and cast aspersions on the First Emperor. Confucian society also thought of merchants as the lowest of the social classes.

So making a merchant like lu Bua his father as well as you know, his legitimate his biological father, as we said, as well as making the emperor an illegitimate child at all, was the worst thing they could do to him. It'd be, like, you know, historian now being like, turns out Joe Biden's father is a DJH, the lowest of the social classes. The name lao I even means

lustful misdeed in Old Chinese. So some people think the whole story about the giant dick was just an allegory for how a conspiracy threatens imperial bloodlines and maybe not a real story at all. Right, it was like Sally Slutty slept with a guy and guess what happened, you know, Like it was basically like it's you know, it might

just be a whole fake thing. And the dick, like the word for dick is also close to the words of her conspiracy and stuff, so they're like, if you translate it differently, it's a whole it could just be a metaphor for something. I mean, throughout this story, I've been getting hints of the Elagabolus gender Empress of Rome story. She also put out a call for the biggest dick in romes uh and found it and did that guy pretty prominent figure in politics, and everyone hated him for it.

Real similar kind of story a lot of the ways, And similarly we look at it now in history and some people say, technically this is historical record, but is

it true. Just because somebody wrote it down a couple of thousand years ago doesn't mean it's necessarily true, because just like today, it might have been a hit peace, it might have been somebody making up a story and saying I'm recording history right now so that people remembered this person a way worse than they were because they didn't like them, right, and and like legitimize their own way of thinking in a way of governing even more by saying, man, this guy was, Yeah, he unified and

cool whatever, but like look at he's crazy. Like we don't want that, we don't want that, we want this that we have now. Yeah. Apparently even the mass execution of Confucians that might even be a myth made up by Confucians like Harter's myths. Oh, he killed them because they only because they were Confucians and they wouldn't change. Um. Some research suggests that he actually killed like a group of alchemists because they fooled him into thinking that they

had made an elixir of life for immortality. Um, and he was mad about that, so he killed them all, and they all happened to be Confucians. But that's not why he killed them. Because Chin Chi Wong was obsessed with living forever. He was like really single minded about this. Uh, he was willing to try anything, So he let in a lot of snake oil salesman, a lot of Charlatan's into the palace. They give him all kinds of different treatments and swear they would work, or they'd just be like,

oh yeah, we're researching it, we're working on it. We're so close, so close. We just see a little bit more money, if you could just give me a little more money, And you know, kind of milked them along until he would get impatient and either execute them or like find a new kind of a d h D. Like he's like squirrel and you find another thing to

to look into. One guy, a self proclaimed magician, Jiufu, told Schinchi Wong listen, I've been in touch with the eight immortals, who you know they live in the mystical pung Li Mountains. Everyone knows about pug That right, everyone? Great? Um, Well, I've been in touch with these immortals and they have the elixir of life, and they said I could get it from them for you. Yes, go on, but they're demanding six thousand virgins as a sacrifice. I'll tell you what.

I'm going to give you as many ships as you want and six thousand virgins and you go get me that a lixer of life right away, Sir and yep, Chinchi Wong Gavesu Fu a fleet of ships. Six thousand virgins watched him sail away, never to rid her so long and thanks for all the virgins. And the legend is that he actually reached Japan and colonized with his six thousand virgins. Six thousand virgins. We're starting a new

world together doing it. But I did read too that like it might have been that he really believed he could find the lixer and the they didn't. They were like, well, he's going to kill us if we go back without it, So then they just found somewhere else. This is nice. But I kind of love the idea of him being like, oh yeah, be I'm a magician, total the magician. Uh, the immortals talk to me last night. They called me

last night. We had a great chat. They love you, by the way, and they said not just give me everything I want and I will go get that for you. I love that he if he does believe it, he gets to Japan, we can't go back empty handed. Well this place is nice to stay here. They got cherry blossoms, Nintendo, this place is great. Why don't we just look at

this kiddy? She says, hello, adorable, why would we ever leave. Well, all this experimentation with trying to find eternal life ironically shortened Chin Chih Wong's life, and it drove him insane because some of his alchemists and magicians told him that until they found the elixir of life, he should just keep taking mercury pills to tide you over. This will, this will keep you going until we find the real thing. Mercury,

the thing you should put in your body. Well, the mercury poisoned him slowly, and something that his crazier decisions, such as building a huge network of tunnels underground so he could travel around without being seen by evil spirits, might be attributed to all the mercury that he was taking that was making him insane underground, a place evil spirits don't like dark underground places. Well, eventually the mercury did kill him. He dropped dead inside his carriage at

the age of forty nine. Not that he didn't live a full life, a very full life with a high body count. Uh huh. Well, and in a way he is a bit immortal, right, we're still talking about him. I suppose that's true. In a way, he found his e lixir in all the deaths that he caused, not an encouragement for your life. As an example, Well, the Prime Minister Lisa didn't want anyone to know that the emperor was dead right away because he's like, you know, I get to get my pieces together before all the

power changes around here. So he and his courtiers made a big of continuing to bring and take documents and orders to and from this carriage as if Chin Chi Wong was still in there making decisions. I love that they walk up with the beast paper. Yes, Emperor, I do think you should sign this. What's that you're like my hair today? Thank you so much? Or they closed it over by him, hilarious, sir, you are you're so

good that guy? Am I right, best emperor ever? And you know, of course his body is like rotting in the carriage, so there's an you know, noticeable smell. Well they hid that by positioning carriage is full of rotten fish nearby, which has to wonder if people were like, what is the emperor into these days? Like he wants that near him, Like okay, whatever, I guess I'm glad he's not beheading me for no reason They're like, oh, all these carriages full of fish. You see, the axle broke,

so we can't move him out of the way. And what wouldn't you know it, We just don't have the dick the right size to fix it. There are a lot smaller these days. Everybody's dick is too big. We can't use are tried and true backup plan. But at least I really just wanted to make sure the right guy got the job next. Right, he did not get along with Chinschi Wong's oldest son, who of course would become the emberor next. So he faked an order from Chin Chi Wong telling his oldest son to commit suicide

and naming his second son as the heir. She's throne. And I guess that's all it took because it was no problem. That's exactly what happened. Imagine, Oh, I got a letter from dad, what's it all right? Well? Others orders, I know, horrible And unfortunately the second son wasn't nearly as capable as his father, and their dynasty only lasted another three years. And it was the legalism that would

get him in the end. Yeah. One of the defining principles of legalism was that severe punishments ensured that people obeyed the law. The reason that if you had a very severe punishment in place for even a minor infraction, people would imagine the horrors that would be visited upon them if they did a major crime, and that would keep them in line. And I gotta say, I know this is a bad idea because I had it in

fifth grade. I remember when I was a kid thinking, why don't they just say, uh, you know, life in prison for stealing a pack of gum, then no one would commit crimes. But obviously that's a very limited and uneducated way. Yes, exactly because instead, obviously this type of punishment in place just encouraged a rebellion. After Chin chi Huang died, rebellions popped up all over the place. Civil wars began, and one of them, according to History Collection

dot Com, was started by a platoon of draftees. These guys got stuck in the mud during a rainstorm and it made them late to their military stations. So one of the recruits asked around and he's like, hey, what's the penalty for us being late? And he was told, well, the penalty for that is death, same as everything else. So he asked him, Okay, well, then what's the penalty for I don't know, rebelling against all this. Well, the

penalty for that is death, same as everything else. So he turned to his fellow draftees and said, quote, well, we're already late, I mean, and they slaughtered the officers and launched a rebellion, and not long after the Chin dynasty was quashed, and then the Han dynasty rose in its place and ruled China for the next four centuries.

I mean, it's right, the in for a penny, in for a pound, may Wellbie hangs for you know, like if you're gonna try, if you're gonna punish people terribly either way, then they're like, well, I guess I'll just do the more horrible things if I'm going to get the punishment anyway, what's my incent to for not or I'll do the thing that's that at least I have a possibility of surviving and have a launch of rebellion against this insanity and hopefully come out with a better

world than just show up late and get executed for no reason, all right, like just because, I mean, they definitely had a good reason too. It was like get stuck in the mud. It's not like we're laying around chilling. We were. It was rain rain. Do you see the rain? I don't know if you noticed about our axle broke and no one could fit their dick in there. Whose

fault is that? I'd like to know? So, yeah, this is this is basically the China that we we know today has its roots in legalism thanks Chin Chi Wong and Confucianism. Both of those things still have a lot of echoes and the way the law is is made and enforced in that country now. And if it was not for Lu Bu Way's ambition and loud eyes, giant dick and queen jaws thirst, we might not have ever had this bloodthirsty emperor who was ready to really go

to town to get control over everything. Wow. Really just yeah, that that thirst can really change a whole the whole continent, in the whole world. Have you brought us into the modern era? Right? Incredible? Can you imagine a dick so big it change the world. I've heard some people say they have one, but it's never true. Oh yeah, dick so big it'll change your world. And you're like, all right, let's see it let's see a stick it through a wheel? Can you roll around a car? Can you fix my

can you fix my cheep? Didn't get your dick out of here? Ladies set standards, that's right. Everybody who wants a dick, set a standard for yourself. If you can't hold up a tire, then I'm tired of that dick. Damn right, are you ready to hold up? Don't ask me? Don't ask me there as I say, not as I do, not as I D, not as I D What what do you mean? I mean? Du what a story? Thanks for this one. I love this one seriously. I would watch I would watch a six seasons show about all

these people, and they're insane. There's just too many. It was like I wanted to stop with the end of the dick story, but then the assassinations were too funny. I was like, we have to have those. And then the whole thing with him trying to hide his body with a bunch of rotting fish, and I was just like, y'all are farcical, and stop. Yeah, nold coward could not. It's so goofy, and it really is, but it's like goofy and harrowing at the people getting drawn and quartered

or whatever. The five versions of Quarters is drawn and pentagrapt paret. Oh no, um? Is that what that movies about Mike Meyers really changed? But damn you know, HBO for real, Like, do do the Game of Thrones series about this? You know, it's not just a bunch of old white guys with the same name and I can't keep apart. It's a bunch of old Chinese guys with similar names. But I can't keep apart. But I'll watch

the hell app watch. I would get it together. Yes, I'll figure it out by season three, just like I did with Game of Thrones exactly which bearded white guys. This uh so true though after because like I loved Seng Chi the Marvel movie. Um, but even that, it's a very serious you know, it's just very serious. All the leaders are like serious, and their followers are very serious and every stoic and it's very like honor and dignity and stuff like that. And I'm not saying that

wasn't happening, but this still was happening. This farctical ship was still happening. Please lean into it. So funny, people, true and human. That's the one thing we keep learning at the history of this show. People are the same now as they have been throughout history and across the world. Like they like fart jokes, and they act fucking insane and they do the wackiest ship in the name of the wackiest ship. Yeah for a big dick whatever, hot, hot lady, crazy. I love it. I'm so glad story.

I hope you loved it too. Please tell us, uh, don't send us any pictures of your dicks and wheels, and we don't recommend sticking your dicks in any wheels. Please don't do that and tell them that we told you too, because we're not telling you. We're telling you specifically. Matt, don't do that. Don't be it didn't work out for lau. I it's not going to work out for you. I mean it worked out for a while, alright, alright, alright, Yes, you've got to be a long term thinker like Luke

A way, I gotta think about these things. But do send us an email, let us know what your thought, or shoot us a message on Instagram or Twitter anywhere you want. We would love to hear from you. Yeah, we love it every time. Always. You can reach us at ridic Romance at gmail dot com, writer on Twitter and Instagram. I'm at Dyanamite Boom and I'm at Oh Great, it's Eli and the show is at ridict Romance. We love it. Thank you for tuning in. We're back on

our regular schedule now it's going to be great. Uh So, tune in next time and we'll see them. Love you by so long. Friends, It's time to go. Thanks so listening to our show. Tell your friend's names, Uncle Sandance to listen to a show ridiculous roll Nance