England's Most Married: The Spousal Saga of Ron Sheppard

you an answer. Most people say in an ideal mate, you know, they want someone with a good sense of humor, right, And a lot of people have pointed out in the past few years that when women say it, they mean I want a man who makes me laugh, okay, And when men say it, they mean I want a woman who laughs at my jokes, right, not that they want a woman who makes them laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And in fact, some women say if they are too funny,

men will break up with them. I've heard this, and so I just want I mean, you know, I like to think I'm pretty funny and that that was an attraction for you. But I just wonder what you thought about that as a member of the male species. No, I mean, I think both are very important. Humor compatibility is a huge part of I think a well balanced relationship. And if now this is for some. For others, there's

like one wacky partner and one like business partner. And that's fine too for some if that's what you're looking for. But first of all, if women are funny and the men that they're with don't like that they're funny, buy good riddens, because that's a lousy partnership anyway. Why would you,

you know, it be like audience, ye, scene partner? I guess I don't even think necessarily need to be a scene partner, but you should just appreciate that you're with someone who makes you laugh if you like to laugh. I think these guys probably just don't like to laugh.

They just only like to have input, and that speaks to a whole other issue going on in their heads, where they're like, I don't want output, I only want input, you know, I don't know, I don't know if there but to me personally, yeah, I would much rather have someone that I can laugh with and at and four versa. Like.

I know, I wouldn't be happy with someone who didn't laugh at anything I ever said, no, But I also wouldn't be happy with someone who, you know, it's kind of dull, and not even dull, but just like humor wasn't their thing. I guess it's just frustrating to feel that I'm not with you. But you know, just casting my mind back to my youthful days of dating, Yeah, that you know, I thought, oh, well, this is like a trait that I find important and that I like

about myself that I have. I think I'm funny. Yeah, so I'm trying to joke around and that dudes would be like, oh, that's a like there's a competition or something for who's funniest, And if I'm funny, it doesn't like it makes them less than Yeah, textbook insecurity, right, I mean, is that accurate? I mean, I don't know. You don't. You don't have that problem. So I guess you're not the right person. Yeah. No, nobody's ever not laughed at me, I know, right, Yeah, you're just constantly

killing it out here. I mean I've had some Um No, I meant that you don't have a problem with with me being funny or a woman being funny around you, No, not at all. Most most of the people in my life are funny women. I know. I think that funny women are delightful thing to have a party in your life. Yeah, Well, if you like laugh and then stay tuned. We're gonna do an episode right now that's gonna have a lot of laughter in it, hopefully, I hope. So, because y'all,

this is a weird one. This, I mean, it really fits the ridiculous Moniker I think. I really don't know if this is a funny story or kind of a sad one or something in between. It's a little slippery, it's a little heavy, but it's a little just like we both I rolly, just like what the hell am I listening to? Because this isn't history from a long time ago. This is a very modern story of love, love question mark. I guess at least it's a story

of marriage. This is the story of Ron Shepherd from Somerton, England, who got so worn out after his eighth marriage that he had to retire and move into an assisted living home. But his story is going to lead us into a whole discussion about marriage and its meaning and what makes people so dang obsessed with it sometimes. So if you take this tune to be your loftly Bound theme song, then go ahead and say I do I do heyla friends, come listen well, Elia and Diana got some stories to tell.

There's no match making a romantic tips. It's just about ridiculous relationships. A lover might be any type of person at all, and abstract concert a concrete wall. But if there's a story where the second glance, we'll ridiculous romance. A production of iHeartRadio. Ron Shepherd is the UK's self proclaimed most married man. Well, this guy has recently retired from the marriage game after his eighth wife, as Stephen Nolan from the BBC says, quote, that's two more than Henry.

The eighth managed say number is Elizabeth Taylor, and only one fewer than Ja Ja Gabor, who should all be subjects on our show. By now we'll get we'll get there. But eight wives deep Ron says he's done. He's throwing in the wedding towels, he's given up the ship, he's the relationship. Of course, he's folding like a chief, which, of course we can assume he has at least eight. Well, as always, we have to dig back through history to get the full story here, so let's look at Ron's

series of why deep Breath. Ron was born in nineteen forty nine. He had his first wedding in nineteen sixty six two Margaret, and all we know is that they had three kids together and then divorce after two years. Oh wow, so they got right on it, I know, right, I'm like, was she already pregnant or did they just like snap snap snap. Five years later, he married Jeanette in nineteen seventy three, and this marriage only lasted one year. Daily Mail says Ron described this union as a quote

business transaction. Oh I really wish I had more information too, Like what was the what was this business track? Were they like exchanging tracts of lands between family England? Who knows? She just wanted to be like written into the will or something, right, I'm very confused. In nineteen seventy six, Ron married Leslie. They had two kids together, and he thought Leslie was for Keaton. Yeah, that's the last marriage.

He was really in love with Leslie. But after five years they started arguing a lot and their marriage ended up falling apart. Oh, ma'am sadly see, that's why you got to be arguing the whole time. Oh there you go. Then it doesn't feel like anything's any difference now. I actually hate arguing. I know, I mean too. In nineteen eighty two, when Ron was in his early thirties, he met an eighteen year old band named Kathy. She became wife number four. Oh wow, I mean yeah, eighteen, early thirties,

classic early midlife crisis. I guess that does kind of yeah, it does kind of sound like that. Well, they had another kid together. That just six kids for Ron, if you're keeping score at home, and they divorced after two years, and he said Kathy was a rebound relationship after Leslie. I mean, do you really marry the rebound? Ron doesn't

know how to rebound? Yeah, I mean I totally get, like, I mean, eighteen's too young, but I get like, you know, you get divorced, you go date someone way younger, and then you realize before you get married that's not going to work out, right, I would think so yeah, but I guess you just like pop the question right away. Well maybe at prom he wanted to celebrate high school graduation right. Oh no, Well they got divorced when Kathy was twenty, so she still got her whole life out

of Hello girl. Thank god. Well, after he got off the rebound with the two year marriage to Kathy, he met Sue at a bingo hall in nineteen eighty six, and this seemed like a much better match. I mean, Ron was in his late thirties, Sue was around the same age, and while he was quote not swept off his feet by her, they went ahead and got married and had two sons together. And this marriage lasted eleven years, So this seemed like a much more standard marriage with

the same age. We don't really like each other that much. We had a couple of kids. We don't really like each other. It's Taylor's old as time. Hell, I hope he in the right at the at the altar, He's like, Sue, you never swept me off my feed, right, but I guess I'll do it, And she's like, ah romantic. Well, in nineteen ninety seven, she quote threw him out, and honestly, of course, we only ever talked to Ron in these interviews. It's mostly tabloids like Daily Mail and The Mirror and

stuff like that. I wish there was one information about why she threw him out, but we can only be left to speculate threw him out. Maybe he just said that too me. He was like, well, Sue, I'm really not very impressed by you. You don't do anything for me, but I'll see you after work. Every time she says something, he's like, see this is whydden's sweet me off my feet back in nineteen eighty six at the Bingo Hall. So now that is five marriages and five divorces for Ron.

It was time to get serious, okay. He couldn't just keep doing these little trial marriages and stuff. He had to find someone real. I mean, he had his teenage wedding, he got married very early when he was seventeen eighteen. He had his business marriage whatever that was all about what business. But that one time he married Leslie that was supposed to be for love, right, then he tried marrying a girl half his age, and then maybe he

even tried marrying someone that he just wasn't that into. Right, It's like he tried it all. What else was out there? What makes a successful marriage? Ron has not figured out. I've literally tried everything. At this point. Well, he had exhausted pretty much all the women in the UK, so he decided that he was going to go look overseas, that's right. So when he was in Singapore, he happened to meet a little lady named Usha, and in nineteen

ninety nine. Of course they got married. Of course that's what you do when you meet a woman, you marry her immediately by a ring. And that marriage lasted four years. But this time the divorce part was definitely Ron's fault, all right. Usha found out somehow that Ron had cheated on her while he was entirely and Usha was like, hell, no, I'm not taking that. That was the end of that marriage, so she divorced him in two thousand and three. A

year later, Ron married a Thai woman named one. Oh my god, although this is it is unclear if this is the same woman that he cheated on Usha with. This might be a completely different Thai woman that he met, I said another because it's not mentioned, and I feel like they would mention it. Yeah, he's not shy about the detail, right Or if you're a good tabloid reporter, certainly that would be your first question would be like, oh, a Thai woman? Is it the same one? Yeah? So

probably not a different Thai woman altogether. Well, Juan and Ron one and Ron, oh my god perfect. Can you imagine the wedding invitations? It would have to be one and Ron dot com and dot Wan and Ron at the nott dot com. Anyway, One and Ron moved to the UK together. But yeah, I guess One was just not a fan of like tea and biscuits and cold rainy days. Because she left Ron to return to Bangkok after only ten months together. It's just a very short marriage.

Shortest yet. Yeah, Okay, so it's two thousand and four. Ron has walked down the aisle seven times and he has I don't know what you said, the walk down the divorce aisle, just as many I kind of think you should have a good divorce. There should be like you have. I mean, technically you have to walk down the courtroom aisle, right, that's true. You could have like a friend like you know, they could actually the spouse.

You should walk up the aisle together and they give you back to like your family, just literal reverse wedding. That would be awesome, and then you can, like terrible. You can do a little tends on how acrimonious this divorce they have to write like reverse vows. I've promised to never call you after ten PM. I think that our life together leading up at this point it's just

like made me a worse person. And it's really made you a worse person too, and I can't wait to grow into someone else without you, And then they have to say, I don't, I don't, I don't know. I feel like a divorce party would actually do pretty well, and then you could. It's kind of like you could have like instead of getting gifts, you have like a yard Dale. Everyone who comes gets something of yours. That's right, they get their blender back or whatever they gave you.

So he's been divorced seven times now, he's five years old. He just had his shortest marriage yet of ten months to one. Something wasn't working here for Ron No. But then he met Wang Platino, a twenty five year old woman from the Philippines. They met online just a few months after his divorce to one, and Ron flew out to the Philippines to meet her right away. The Daily Mail says they quote clicked instantly and went back to the UK to get married on the Isle of Wight

in November of two thousand and four. And y'all, this this really seemed like it. Years went by year after year their marriage continued. After thirty eight years since his first marriage, had he finally found the one oh Ron Now. In January of twenty fourteen, ten years into their marriage, Ron said Wang was his quote true love and soulmates, and in February of that year, he was inspired to publish his autobiography about the search for love, called The

Lord of the Wedding Ring. Oh just cute. That's trying to imagine the quote if he's just like, oh, yes, we've had a wedding once, but what about second weddings? What about what? That's cute? Well, he told the BBC in an interview, quote, I believe marriage should be for life. I just didn't find the right person and for what it's worth. In his audio interviews, he kind of sounds like Wallace and Grommit. Wallace, I guess, oh my god.

Really his accent, Yeah, it's kind of delightful. Oh, Ron, Well, he sounds like he might be kind of cute, a cute older guy. Well, he says he does not regret any of his marriages, quote because I have my eight children, so you know he got something good out of each other. Sure, So while Ron is in this happy place, let's look at what he believes led him to kind of go

through all these marriages. Because he's just kind of been hopping in and out of the chapel for years now, and according to him, he really has been searching for true love this whole time. He says his parents were married for sixty one years, and he always wanted something similar, that steady, that long. Yeah, but he did feel that he had hurt people in his process of getting married and divorce. He said in an interview, quote, I regret what I've done. I've been selfish, I've upset people, I've

upset my children. But at the same time they have forgiven me. Ultimately, he says to the Mirror that his constant search for love quote stemmed from sexual abuse he suffered as a child. See The trauma that he dealt with left him quote constantly craving companionship, and his book The Lord of the Wedding Rings focuses heavily on this too. The back cover of it says that quote, he has hidden a frightening secret that ruined his childhood and blighted

him as adult relationships. Ron suffered years of sexual abuse at the hands of a family friend, a local businessman and respected counselor. Oh Man. Yeah, he said, the abuser hand picked him at nine years old. Quote simply for being a child from a poor family. That guy would reward him with food and small amounts of money. Yikes, what a piece of shit. Yes, absolutely, and kind of get to understand sort of like why Ron has a

different view of relationships than made the worst people. Yeah, yeah, I mean especially nine years old, like, yeah, the amount of things that you're not quite sure of and yeah, very turned away, like I don't know, you can just be shaped in such a crazy way. That's really sad. And because of this person's power over him and Ron being you know, a younger kids from a poor family in this small town and stuff, he just he never

said anything. He didn't feel like he could right between the shame and the fear and retaliation all this stuff, well he just I mean it says right there in the quote that it's a respected counselor yeah, and local businessman. I mean that's exactly the kind of person who is so well poised to abuse people because they have a good reputation. It's going to be very hard for you

to be believed. People will think, oh, well they're successful, so somebody is jealous or they're trying to get a pay day or what, or just be famous for a minute at the expense of this person's reputation and stuff. So it becomes really hard to say, to tell the truth, I mean, And that's on top of the trauma itself, making it very hard to speak because that's the trauma itself can take of many, many years to get through enough that you can talk about it, right, and people

really discount that. I really hate seeing that. But people are like, oh, when I was sixteen and they're like fifty now and everybody's like, well, why don't you say something? Then yeah, you act like it's so easy, and it's really not right. I mean, I'd like to do something embarrassing, like I, you know, open the wrong side of that can in the kitchen and I'm like, I'm not going to tell anyone, but I did that. This is between me and God. Yeah, you know, I know that's kind

of a silly comparison, of course it is. But the idea being that, like, our brains do have something in them that are like, if you feel like you should be ashamed of something, you lock it in. That's right, right, that's right. So Ron said, as a results of this horrible person in his childhood. He said, quote, I turned to women. I felt safe in the company of women, and after being silent for so long, he claims that Wang helped him face all of this past trauma and

start to get over it. Oh good, But sadly this marriage with Wang did not last either. Within two years of these interviews, Ron and Wang were getting a divorce, but this time it was a little different. It ended in a restraining order and yet another fiance for old Ron. So we will come back with more about that right after these words. Welcome back everyone. We are gathered here today to hear the story of Ron Shepherd and his

eight wives. Eight wives of Ron Shepherd. Well, it seemed, you know, like Ron and Wang, we're a happy couple. Ron had finally found the soul mates that he'd spend his whole life searching for. But in twenty sixteen, everything started to fall apart. For his part, Ron was suffering from a growing number of health problems, including a diagnosis of Parkinson's and Louis body dementia, right, which are alone

too horrible things to deal with. And then together you're like Jesus and like, we don't know specifically what happened that caused their separation. But we do know that after Ron and Wang separated, Ron started trying to win her back, and maybe he's trying a little too hard because he sent her letters, you sent her presents, into her Facebook messages.

He just bombarded her trying to win her back. According to Metro, Yeah, and then Wang then filed harassment charges against him because all of this was just so much. He really would not let up and not leave her alone, no matter how many times she said, no, Ron, you know, leave me alone, and that should be all you need to hear. Ron was arrested after she filed these charges. She said that she had to quit her church that she joined with him, where she had quote made true friends,

and I had to leave them all behind. That's really inappropriate. I mean, to push someone to the point where they have to abandon part of their life because you just you're you're two in it. Yeah. Well, even after this arrest, Ron continued to pester her, she says, and then he moved into intimidation tactics, allegedly telling her quote it was ninety nine percent likely that the case would be thrown out and she could be arrested for perjury. That's a

straight up threat. You know, if you keep saying these things about it, I know you be arrested. You'll be arrested at us I don't know. Yeah, come on row. He did plead guilty in court to harassment. He got a six hundred pound fine and a two year restraining order saying that he could not directly nor indirectly contact Wang. The district judge told him quote or experiences of matrimony in the past, it seems you were unable to accept and give up that this is a relationship at an end.

You won't be the first or last who's been unable to deal with the effects of a relationship breakdown. The way you conducted yourself did cause actual and real distress to missus Shepherd. I'm just assuming every judge in England is a Charles Dickens character. Oh yeah, he had to put on his big powdered wig before you do any of this for the judgment. Full on haze in the room from how much powder is coming off at speculation

station speculation Now. Ron did say in response, quote, I would just like to apologize to my wife and apologize to the court. And it seems that he honored his restraining order. Their divorce did eventually go through. Um, so I guess I don't know. I guess he was just so into her and he really thought that she was going to be the one. He just could not let it go yet I gotta like persist. Clearly, the guy's

got issues with being with someone. It's very important to him, right. Yeah. Now, we did find one tweet from Ron on this subject in his now inactive Twitter account, where he told a friend quote, Wing accused me of cheating in the media, she was cheating with her ex fiance for four years when I got Parkinson's call kettle black. Wow. So she said that he had cheated on her. Yeah, maybe as the impetus for the divorce maybe or something. Yeah, And he's like, lady, I got Parkinson's. I'm like in a

wheel chair most of the time. Not that someone in a wheelchair can't cheat on someone, but he's like an old man who's like having a hard time physically moving through the world. He's not cheating on her. Yeah, I'm not going to bars every night trying to like pick up some ladies. Right. Not that again, not that these circumstances preclude the possibility of cheating, but it seems very unlikely. And the fact that he suggested pseudo privately, I mean,

you know, it's Twitter, so it's not really. But he was just tweeting back to a friend who was asking how he was doing. He's like, well, what, she started cheating on me as soon as she found out I at Parkinson's. Look, no it's not, and of course who knows. But if we take it at face value, that sucks, right. He also then wrote on Twitter, quote thirteen years then walked out on me for a better life when diagnosed with Louis body dementia, Crystal is very caring and loving,

So yeah, that's true. That's pretty cold wing for him to get, you know, a crazy diagnosis, and she's like, I'm to be hied down with some sick man. This is something for me that's really important in the marriage

vows thing. And of course there's all kinds of reasons that marriages can fall apart, But to me, I'm like, when you ask someone if you want to marry them, you've considered your whole life together and all the risks and possibilities that come with that, and that includes, you know, if you become incapacitated to the point where I have to care for you. I'd rather stay with you through that. And if you haven't really thought of that, then probably

don't get married, right, And it's a sad fact. I guess statistically speaking that more often than not it's men who leave women who get diagnet of terrible diseases. Yeah, but it either way, it's really cold because you're basically abandoning someone to like pain and possible death alone. Yeah, after they've given you probably the best years of their lives. Right. I don't know about Ron's best years maybe, but still that's just really sad and it would feel harsh, like

I'd be like, you're a monster. It's making me think of another famous shepherd, Jack Shepherd from from Lost and when he married Julie Bowen because she was having a back surgery and he was her spinal surgeon and he was telling her fiance, hey, you know, she might never walk again, is like, oh, whoa is she gonna need

like help go into the bathroom and stuff. Jack was like yeah, dude, and the guy was like, okay, boy, and then he just disappeared and then she ended up marrying her spinal surgeon who saved her and she did end up being able to walk again, so that guy was extra dumb. Yeah, idiot, And she married Jack, which talk about a doomed marriage from the start, because in episode six, if you're hang on, that's what this episode's about.

Next podcast, Different podcasts, different podcasts. But I do worry, like when you hear about men who like won't change diapers or something because they're like, it's just gross. Yeah, I'm like, it is gross, absolutely, But I mean one day your wife might need you to change her diapers, you know what I mean? Like that can happen to an adult, and you have to be prepared. And if you you can't won't do it for a tiny baby. How am I supposed to think you're gonna do it

for me? You know? Or I don't know. I just would feel safe around somebody who felt like they couldn't ever clean up a mess like that. That's why I have dedicated our entire savings fund to replacing pieces of you one by one with bionic parts. But eventually you're just an indestructible robot. Okay, I mean my dream that's kind of cool, cyborg. One day, I hope you get like cyborg like cool tech. Oh yeah, you'll totally have like a laser cannon in your arm, um teleportation technology,

a food synthesizer. Who nice. Maybe I'll finally know what it's like to see without glasses. Oh no, Actually, one of the problems with the technology is that you retain your vision as it is now. So I'm so sorry. It's the one thing I can I can fly from a jet pack on my feet, sure, but I can't see ten feet in front of me around glasses. But we'll get you some really nice glasses. Okay, wow, all right, as long as they're really nice, yea, make sure they

look at all right. Well, anyway back to Ron. So Ron is talking about how Wing walked out on him when he was diagnosed with Louis body dementia, and that's really cruel and mean. And then he says, Crystal is very caring and loving. Now, who in the hill is Crystal in the conversation? I've not heard her name yet. Well, if you thought that Ron's quest for love was over after Wing, then you have not been paying attention to run my friends. Come on, there's no way he gives

up at this point. Now, unsurprisingly, the story doesn't exactly get more romantic as it goes on. Um. Crystal Lelek was a twenty five year old woman from the Philippines. They it's definitely Ron's in that. Um was it dazed and confused kind of mentality. And I keep getting older, They're always twenty five or show I was going to say,

is Leo era? Oh yeah, well Ron had actually met Crystal years earlier when he was married to his seventh wife, Juan That was the one who married him in the UK and then dipped back home to the Philippines ten months later to Thailand. Yeah. Um. Now, at the time that they met, Crystal was only sixteen years old, and apparently Ron and Crystal and Wan hung out all the time. It's like a local friend of hers. I don't know,

age gap weird, weird. They lost touch, and after Ron and Wing's divorce started going through, he decided to look her up. When they connected, he flew to the Philippines to spend Christmas with her, and on New Year's Eve he proposed to Crystal and she said yes. Because again, I mean, if you meet a woman, the next logical step is to propose to her. You celebrate the twelve Days of Christmas and then you propose one of those

five golden rings. Well, you know, nothing's ever easy in the marriage department for Ron, and this was no different because you see, Crystal was actually already married. Oh she said, though she was totally going to divorce her husband. It's all about you, Ron, I'm going to move to England with you. So here's Ron, sixty nine years old, suffering from Parkinson's and other ailments, bringing this twenty six year old woman from the Philippines to England. And he told Mirror, quote,

this one is real love. This is the last one, I promise. And Cristel said, quote, I know what it looks like, but I am not here for a passport. I am not here to take advantage of Ron. Hmmm. And apparently she also told Ron that they could not have a physical relationship before they got married because she was a committed Christian. Okay, okay, I had to wait till marriage. And Ron said, quote, I respected that and hoped at least she would become my career, but she

just became more distant. She didn't get his jokes. She also did just didn't pay much attention to him. He said, quote she'd just sit there taking selfies and I'd have to shout her name just to get her to look at me. God, do you just feel I mean, you can see this happening so clearly. I feel like that also makes me think her name maybe was not Crystal. I mean I feel like maybe she had a totally

different name, and she'd be like, who is he talking to. Well, they applied for a carer's visa to let her stay in the country. She would be you know, his caretaker basically, and would be allowed to stay. And then shortly after that, Ron said he probably should have realized something was wrong because she quote lost her engagement ring and then she just started going out at nights and making new friends.

After her visa was denied and she went to Ron and said she had to go home to the Philippines for a week, she gave him a long look and then left, and when he checked her room later, all of her stuff was gone. She blocked him on Facebook, and a friend of his and the Philippines said that

she was there dating someone else. Dang. Yeah, So I mean, like, you know, we all saw this coming a long time ago, especially like I love unprompted she's like, well, I know what it looks like, right, but I'm not here for that. We'll have to say though the fact that he was like I hoped at least she would become my care It seems to me like he just wants a nursemaid, you know, like he's looking for a younger, energetic person like take of him. But he doesn't want to pay

a nurse a wife. Yeah, and he wants that to double as someone who's just like fully devoted in love to him, right, Like it's not somebody just comes in and make sure he's doing all right, but it's someone who's just like hanging on his arm also and curled up next to him while I watched TV or whatever

it is that his kind of fantasy is. He's certainly like trying to craft a person that I don't think exists for him in this way, or I mean, maybe for anyone, because I could also like maybe Crystal, you know, definitely, I don't know, I don't really believe those, but maybe she was like, yeah, I fell in love with a sixty nine year old band and I decided to come

live in the UK with him. But I don't know if you're only twenty six and somebody's like, hey, can you spend the next ten to twenty years of your life? I mean cleaning up after an old man, and that's not something you wanted to do with your life. I could see kind of being like, actually, I don't think I do want to do that, you know, especially if you're not really in love. Definitely not. And I think that's a very hard thing to do, is to be a constant caretaker for a person. I think that's kind

of the split. Like, you know, I'm not going to sit here and say there's no one there's no young person out there who's not truly in love with a much older person that they're taking care of. Sure, but yeah, I mean it's unlikely that Crystals someone who was looking for, Like, you know what, I'll learn to love him. I'm going to curl up on his arm and right look gaze lovingly into his eyes, and yeah, I know he's not here much longer. I just want to get in the

best life I get. You know, I don't know there are people with that heart. Sure, I don't know that Crystal is that person, but did they definitely exist? Yeah? So all right, Ron, come on, is that it, buddy, are you throwing in the towel? Now? Have you tried it? Surely Crystal was like the last straw, like, Okay, something's got to change here, right, I'm seventy, I'm good. You know that he's not good. You know he didn't stop at this point. Ron's got a little more fight left

in him, he said to mirror quote. As far as I'm concerned, I'm back on the market. I'm not going to say I haven't already had women contacting me. I don't know what it is about me. Women just seem to flock to me. I think it could be my natural charm and charisma. Although I've got to be honest, after all this time, I sometimes think women could just be too much trouble. But I am determined not to die alone. I refuse to end up in a home, and I will find someone who will love me for

who I am. Well, there's a lot to talk about in that quote right there alone, and of course we want to know if he's going to pull it off. Well, place your bets and we will wrap up Ron's story. But right after this break, welcome back Esteemed friends, family, romans, countrymen to the final marriages of Ron Shepherd. Well, at this point, after divorcing Wing and not marrying Crystal, Ron had spent forty four of his past forty eight years married.

He has thirteen great grandchildren. He thinks he doesn't really know. I guess his longest marriage was thirteen years to Wing and his shortest was with one at just ten months. And he told Mirror in twenty seventeen, quote, the Tories should get me. Didn't negotiate Brexit after all? How many people have had as many divorces as me? Fair right, all right, pretty good? Well, I'm curious how those negotiations went in those divorces. He doesn't get into that, yeah, right, Like,

I don't know. Maybe they saw the terms and they were like it's it's okay, we're gonna we're already doing bad terms of this all by yourself. Just and if you're curious too. Ron was like a tour manager for a famous English celebrity, like he had. He had a good career. Okay, I don't think he was like super healthy, nor do I think he was ever struggling, all right, despite his many weddings and divorces, which I guess he

had enough money for that well. Anyway, at this point he was not done looking for the perfect bride, and in twenty eighteen, he thought maybe Cupid had struck again when he met an American woman named Rose. Oh well, met isn't really the right word, because he found her online. She was thirty years old. They spoke through email. He said, quote, I know Rose is the one. It doesn't matter if we haven't met, as I can tell we are the perfect match. Age is just numbers and I don't care.

She's half my age. She's deeply in love with me and I am with her. Yes see, a girl aged thirty was just what Ron was looking for because you see, he told the Mirror, quote, thirty is the perfect age because they're more mature. He said, a lot of women were writing to him on Facebook, but they're all so young. But Rose Rose is thirty right, like she's grown up

a little. She knows what she wants and the thing with Roses she just needed to finish her nursing school in Ghana and then she would come to England to marry him. She messaged Ron first, and Ron points out again that quote. Because of my history, a lot of women have contacted me, he says that she never asked for anything from him. Quote, but I have given her a few pounds for her grand and I just okay, y'all, all the red flags are going off. I mean, he's

never spoken to this person in person. She reached out to him first. And his whole thing where he's like all of his many marriages, well especially as later few marriages were very publicized in the tabloids, and then he wrote this book and everything, and he just put a big sign over himself that is like, I will marry younger women. Right, So obviously he's getting inundated with Facebook messages from profiles with pictures of young women. And he's

a seventy year old man. He's probably not great at discerning reality from fiction on social media. Obviously he's got a big target on his back. Yeah, and I'm you know, you know, we have even talked about some people who met online, particularly during the pandemic, Yeah, and never met in person but still fell in love. They got married, absolutely, you know, but they also like video chatted with each other and they had met like each other's families and

stuff like that. So there was a little more I don't know, vetting done I'm not sure that he's talking to Rose in a way that he can really vet that she is a thirty year old woman. And I don't think any of the people we talked about were young, hot Instagram models reaching out to seventy year old men from another country. Right, And I love that he says, I don't care she's half my age. Oh yeah, okay,

I don't know you. I'm worried about my friend. I would rather hear she doesn't care that I'm twice hurried. That's that makes more sense. Yeah. Well, fortunately you can breathe a sigh of relief because Ron called off this supposed in person meeting that he was going to go to at the last minute. He says he did anyway, He said that they were supposed to meet in person on a Friday, and quote, it didn't feel like the right thing for me to do. Yes, there it is,

he realized Wallace. Or like a little bit of Higgins from from ted Lasso. It kind of sounds like him too. Love it such a great accent? Or who is he on Doubton? St incredible character? I love it. Higgins from ted Lasso? Was Spratt on Doubton? If you did not know. It's one of my favorite dual roles for an actor ever, I know, amazing. It really shows his range. Yes, Okay, So Ron realized that he might not actually be in love with this girl Rose. He said, quote she was

doing all the pushing. It didn't feel right in my heart. He said. She was upset but quote couldn't take phone calls as she's in Ghana, right, and Ghana has you know, no phone whatsoever. We've got a friend in Ghana that you talked to him. We've talked recently in fact, and in fact from the US to Ghana, y'all have a big time zone gap. I think the UK and Ghana are not that far east and west of each other, so they're in You can definitely take a phone call

in Ghana. This is just again every red flag going off, like, oh, I actually can't talk on the phone with you because I'm a forty two year old man. You know, her name is actually Brutus, right, I know. Yeah, that's just I think that's just so funny that he's decided an entire country in Africa's incapable of taking or making phone calls.

That's just really very set. So Ron, you know, maybe learned his lesson, because just this past week, in March of twenty twenty three, Ron Shepherd, the UK's most married man, the lord of the Wedding Rings himself, announced that he was retiring from marriage finally. Who smart. Yeah. He said he was moving to a care home, and he stated that the last fifty seven years of romance have quote worn his body out well, and of course his health is not great right. His days now are very different.

He's going to stay in a care home in the Isle of Wight to be closer to family, and he has care providers help him three times a day. Occasionally he gets out of the facility. But he's considering this quote a new chapter of my life. I think that's a good way to look at it. I think so too, you know. And he says he's writing a second autobiography called The Wife Collector and which I don't love the title, but anyway, he claims that it's already in talks to

be a movie in the US. All right, well, and you know, maybe, but also, Ron, buddy, I'm worried about people taking advantage of you, okay, and someone trying to buy your rights for a movie is also big red flag. Yeah, unfortunately, he said, quote, if I meet a nice lady in the care home, I think I'll just keep it as a friendship. Who I've eaten enough wedding cake over the years. I'm done with going up the aisle. Here you go, Ron, all right, there we go? Ah? Man, I mean, what

is happening? How? I just couldn't figure out what was going on with Ron. I'm reading these stories and again they're all tabloids, right, Like, no, nobody's writing a research paper about Ron. There's not any like deep New York Times deep dives into his life story. It's just kind of like flashy headlines the UK is most married man looking for his ninth wife kind of stuff, kind of setting him up for putting a target on his back

a little bit. Sure, you can see the tabloids being like, we can't wait for this one to fail so you can talk about Jigen. Yeah, and you know it got me wondering what else is going on here? I mean, we've got his history right, and it's totally rational. I believe in him having lifelong attachment issues because of the abuse that he suffered. But the guy just seems incapable

of not being married. I mean fifty seven years between his first marriage and right now, and he has been married or engaged to ten different women for most of those years. And I mean, it's not like he's some playboy who just keeps running around and getting divorced and cheating and screwing up or whatever. At least according to him,

he was only unfaithful the one time with Usha. I imagine that Ron was probably difficult to be married too, somewhere somewhere or another, and at least at least some of these women, Let's be honest, we're definitely taking advantage of him more than I mean, that seems pretty clear. But what is up with him just going from one marriage straight into the next? I mean, there's often no time, but like this, oftentimes a marriage ends and the next marriage starts within the same year, if not just the

next year. Well, I found something that none of the tabloids seemed to mention. It's called enough to phobia, and this is the irrational fear of not being in a romantic relationship. According to psychotimes dot com quote, people who suffer from this condition may experience very intense anxiety as

a result of their fear of being alone. Obviously we can't, you know, just aren't share diagnosed ron with having an up to phobia necessarily, but it led us to finding it and really want to talk about it, and kind of I presume this is kind of what he's dealing with.

You could see it, I can. I know some people like that too, where they're just like in the middle of a divorce and they start dating and as soon as the divorce goes through, they get married, and then that marriage falls apart, and while they're getting the divorce, they start dating someone else, you know, like they're just never alone. And I do I didn't think I didn't know about this phobia, but I definitely was like, there's

something wrong if you can't be by yourself for a minute. Yeah, but you know, do you hate yourself or you just like what's going on? So I'm kind of it's interesting to learn about this an up to phobia probably the very extreme version of this, but like, obviously, yeah, we know some people who who define themselves by their relationship,

and you know, I think it's true. You've got to love yourself before somebody can really love you, or at least you've got to have a sense of identity certainly help. You've got to at least have something about you that makes you a full person in your own right. You know, before you just go define yourself by the relationship you're in, right, because you get so codependent. Yeah, and that's not healthy, right.

So an up to phobia is this fear that kind of sticks in your brain and it makes you feel sure that you'll ever find anyone you know to be with, even though actually the future is very unpredictable. You can never know what's coming, but the fear kind of convinces you, right, that's what they kind of the psychologists are like telling people like you, you see yourself dying alone if you don't marry this person. But that's you saying you can

predict the future, right, and you can't. So yeah, they're like, you know, even though you have no idea what's in store for you in this world, you start to get so certain that you'll end up alone that you just become like maybe a serial dater or a serial marrier. You're just constantly getting yourself into a partnership. Yeah, and you know, these marriages obviously might not work out because

they're not really based on connection. They're based on fear, you know, or they're being really rushed into because you're just like anyone. I'll take the first person who says yes, because I have I can't be alone for two months or whatever. And probably in Ron's case, it's probably a little bit of both fear and the rushing are happening

all at the same time. Psych Times says that, you know, some people are genetically predisposed to develop mental illness, and in that case, a traumatic experience might trigger something like a neptophobia to develop. Oh okay, well that of course we know Ron had plenty of trauma exactly. That makes yeah, again, don't know if he's genetically predisposed illness or anything like that, but well it makes you wonder too if he's a nine year old and he's able to be in this

the company of this older man. Yeah, clearly a trusted member of the community and everything. But still maybe he was alone a lot, you know, he just wasn't just didn't have companionship a lot. So maybe he was just like, if there's someone here. Ironically, if there's someone here, no

one can take advantage of me. I think he sort of references that it made him feel unsafe and that he felt more safe with women than he ever did with men, which I think is part of it too, and in his mind, and this is probably a whole culture of masculinity and stuff. If I want to be around women, that means it's got to be a romantic thing. Yeah, yeah,

being friends with a woman. Whereas, like, what's the point I'm not comfortable amount around men as much as I am around women because I think I had mostly women growing up in my life and things like that, and I've you know, a lot of my best friends are sys men of course, but but but the majority my friends are women. But at the idea of being romantic with most of them, you know, I left that behind a long time. But we don't need to get into

my psychology. That's a whole other episode somebody Else's podcast. They break down the ridiculous romance of meeting you. Oh well, anyway, if someone does have something lined up to phobia, the treatments include talk therapy and exposure therapy and anxiety treatments. Okay, so I guess all of those things together, probably not

just one, yeah at a time. Well, I imagine, you know, exposure therapy that kind of sort of thing where they would you know, somebody who's like break up, break up, break up, break up, and they'll say, why don't you just stay single for a while, Like that can be really healthy for you. But obviously if that's give you panic attacks, that's something that has to be dealt with separately. Yeah,

that makes sense. Well, of course, looking into an uptophobia led us to the other side of it, which I'm sure a lot of us are familiar with as well, gamaphobia, the intense fear of even the idea of being in a committed relationship. And you know, I want to say, like, oh, I've known people like this, I've been like this a little in my life. But this isn't just being cautious or indecisive or even so much just like, oh, I've got a fear of commitment. This is like irrational and intense,

like people taking extreme steps to avoid committing. And we're talking chest pain, dizziness, hyperventilating, trembling, you know, just from the suggestion of like let's go steady, you know, let me give you my pin and they like they're like, well, why is it nineteen fifty four and the follow damn, but no, according to very wellmind dot com people will break up with others very easily, like drop of a hat,

or they'll refuse to date altogether. The people with this condition can still get into relationships, but as soon as that next level is suggested, they just kind of go off the edge. So it's really tough for things to get serious. Huh. I wonder what that's about, because, I mean, the enough to phobia makes a little more sense. I mean, in a nonsensical way. I guess right as it since it's not a it's irrational fear, but um, it makes a little more sense in that you know, oh, I

need someone with me. I need to feel like someone gives a shit if I live or die, Like that's a very normal fear. Then to die alone and be eaten by your dog or something. Um. So I just wonder what where this comes from. Where you're like, I can't I can't even date somebody without losing my mind. Yeah, well, I mean, you know, I'm no geologist, but that's an old meme just for anything. I'm not an expert in um and I did read that. You know, it's it's

triggered very similarly. It can be brought up trauma or lifestyle. Any number of factors can give someone this condition. I think for some people who are very much kind of linearly focused, like I've got this future in mind, I've got the way I need things to be, and I don't want to disrupt that, And it's terrifying if I'm if I can't predict what's coming or what my life will be like in a few years. You add a factor in, like a committed relationship, which is chaotic, it's random.

You know, Now you've got two lives that you're balancing at once. I could see how that would be terrifying if you were someone who was already scared of not knowing what's coming. Well, I guess I can see. Yeah, like a similar trauma being like, well, now I can't have anyone around me because I had somebody, you know, who I was supposed to trust or who is supposed to love me or supposed to take care of me or whatever treated me poorly. So now I can't trust

anybody will actually love me. And if I let them in, maybe you know, maybe that is allowing them the space to hurt me. Oh definitely, I totally definitely it's going to be an issue. Yeah, I mean, you know, we dated for six years before we got engaged, and I think that leans a little on my side more than yours.

I know we talked about it, like what around year three or four or something, and I know that I personally wanted to wait longer, not wanting to or not feeling like we should, but just out of like I just if I don't have it in my heart that says like, yes, I want to do this, then it's disingenuous, right, And that's kind of how I always felt about it.

Was like if I if you say like yeah, sure, Like it's not like you know, let's go see a movie, like yeah, I don't really want to see it, but sure I'll go see it and then it's bad and you're fine. But if you don't, if you haven't considered all those things, I mean, like I said earlier, like if you're not like, oh no, I have considered every option. I know that our lives together are now entwined, and I'm not gonna say I promise all these things unless later I feel like maybe I don't want to do

those things. I just think those answers are really important, and some of that surely is embedded in some sort of like unpredictability. I think that's probably the closest that I came to something like this, or its like I don't really want to not know what's coming. I kind of have a loose plan and this might throw it all out of whack. But again, that's so different from panic attacks, chest pain, hyperventilating at the concept of, well,

let's date exclusively, you know, right, Yeah, that's interesting. I definitely got impatient with you. I guess you did not, because I was like, I think I felt the same way you did. Was like it needs to be resounding, like I would like to spend my life with you. I don't want it to be some reluctant I had to drag you into it. I freaking like send you drop you hints where I sent you pictures of engagement

rings or something. Yeah, I'm like, no, if you don't want to, then I'm not trying to uh hear that. I think you should really want this, um. But I think I did get a little insulted that I took so long. Wow, I want it, because I feel like we did have a little fight after our wedding once I was like, well that was nice one day I'll maybe have that, maybe not wait after after a wedd wedding. Thought after our wedding, I was like, but you got it. No,

I know that was great. We didn't fight after sure, I mean well, but I also I remember even thinking like I'm having this feeling of like, oh, why aren't we getting married? You know? And I really thought about it because I was like, do I want to get married or is it just like I feel like there should be another step we have to undertake or this is what people are expecting and so we need to

do it or whatever. And I do feel that once we got married, there was definitely like this this sense of like I feel so solid, you know, like now there is no there's it's lot harder to untangle our lives. So we have definitely decided this is what we want and this is how we're moving forward. But there was also something kind of nice when we were together for so long and it was like you can't leave at any time and you don't, yeah, you know, and I don't. Yeah.

So there's clearly and I think that's was part of the I don't know, part of the impatience too, was like well, we already know, it's already been six years. Yeah, you know what I'm waiting for, So I don't know. It was a lot of like questioning, like what's the social cultural programming that I have that it's definitely in me, whether I like it or not? And what is my true emotion about this and my true feeling about this? And it's very hard to parse those out sometimes it is.

I mean there's times I still think that I'm like, marriage doesn't matter necessarily in the ways that it used to. Marriage is obviously very different now than it used to be. And yeah, at six years, even if we hadn't got engaged, I would have assumed that we were in it for

the long haul, you know. And I think one thing about marriage especially maybe this is even more something of a conversation in an early like maybe a two year relationship or something where it's like, Hey, when things get tough, are we going to work through it? Are we going to tell ourselves now while things are good, that we will work through it when things get tough, that we are here together and big life decisions are something we're

going to make together, and things like that. All the stuff that comes from from marriage in terms of the complicated stuff. And I'm willing to make your priorities my priorities, and you're willing to make my priorities your priorities. And if you end up, you know, incapacitated in such a way that you need someone to care for you, am I that person? Yeah? That kind of yeah, all those questions.

Marriage is a way to kind of lay it all out and be like, yes, officially, let's say that, yes, And I think you can have that conversation without the institution the corporate world of weddings that are really just about flash ceremony and money. And then there's you know, there's the legal component too, which also kind of comes down to property and money, and that's a whole other thing. But I don't think unimportant, but not unimportant, But I don't think that you need that to live a committed

life together. But it's also the best party we've ever had, the most amazing trip of our lives we got to take afterwards, and I similarly, yeah, I'm glad we did. I And you do feel a sense of like, well, that's settled. Nothing's left ambiguous at this point, right, And I think too, there was probably a question in my mind, like oh he doesn't want me, you know, right, which

is crazy. I know it is. You're crazy. And that's one thing a husband really needs to tell his wife pretty often, is that like, you're crazy and if you think something's wrong, you're making it up in that crazy woman brainiers. This is why we put no romantic tips in the theme song, because Eli gives terrible advice. That is your wife act. Make sure you let her though

as often as possible. She'll thank you for it. No, but I mean, you know, and I I never I didn't think you're gonna cheat on me or something, but you know, I just had that. There was always a little question of like, oh, he's trying to keep a door open, you know what I mean, for a reason. There's a reason he wants a door open. Yeah, you know. And yeah, because if I wouldn't the latto you know that's mine. Now it's ours, Sorry, babe, you have to

give me some of it. Well, I would love to hear your marriage stories, whether you've been through a bunch of chaotic ones or whether you just did what we did and just made sure, made really sure, and then married for just the absolute joy of it. Please let us know whatever you've got or whatever you thought about this episode. If you got a hot take on ron as many Wives, I'd love to hear that too, and

we'll read them out on a later episode. Or an up to phobia or phobia if you experience it, or you know someone or definitely seven opinion or whatever, shoot us an email. We're ridic Romance at gmail dot com right or we are also on Instagram. I'm at Dynamite Boom and I'm at Oh Great, It's Eli and the show is at riddic Romance. Stay tuned for another fun episode next week. Thank you so much for spending your time with us, and we'll catch it the next one.

Love you, bye, so long, friends, it's time to go. Thanks so listening to our show. Tell your friend's names Uncle, sendance to listen to a show Ridiculous Roll Dance