Colette Pt. 2: Mimes, Mummies, & A Panther with A Gun!

it's a great movie. Uh, fresh content. Yeah, fresh shot takes on movies from but hey, speaking of anonymous people like Roseanne, we're on collect he could bring it on the connection there, you saw the thread and you pulled it, pulled, that threat, unraveled, that whole sweater totally unraveled. A. Yeah, I want to see what year Lucus Talking Too came out? B Yeah, I thought Luca's talking was like okay, okay, Um, nine and nineties they were back to back Lucas talking

now and we're still on it was. This movie was ninety three, um, which is a great year from movies, I must say so. Mononyms. Yeah, anyway, Rodan to Collette, that's what we're doing. Rosanne to Collette, I love it. I love it. That's going to get us into this episode. Very excited to come back with part two of the Collette Saga, which is shaping up to really be something special.

When we last left Collette, she had taken the Paris literary world by storm with her Claudine series That's Right, which was sort of sort of based on her own life sort of experiences. Remember, she would write local, local, other people into the story. They had that that girlfriend together that got written in. Who got really upset about it? Georgie, George, Georgie. That's why you don't date authors, they will mind their lives.

For a plot point, she had separated from her first husband, En Rigoutier Villars, better known as Willie, another mononym the World's Worst Willie, the world's worst Willie. He's like not every lady will agree. Well. Um and Colette had also decided to tread the boards with George Waggs Pantomime Company. Oh yeah, what a shift from from being a famous author straight to pantomime. Right, but still sexy pantomime. Sexy pantomimes, pantomime? Is there any other pantomime? Because you pull on that

invisible rope and I am interested. Oh, no, ZERI an invisible wall between us. However would we break through. I'm very I'm very turned on this. I'm seeing you doing like invisible wall turned boobs Hong Kong. Oh, we need to get this show on video because she just did it. Seeing my hand motions. Where that beret come from? That's the real question. I'm always ready for my situations. Well, anyway, during this period of her life, Collette was really put

in the Gay and Gay Perry. So let's learn about her life on the stage and her love affairs with the self proclaimed Queen of the Lesbians, Napoleon, the third gender bending niece, the heir to a department store, and what a collection. Let's go the French condition. Well, Eli and Diana got some stories to tell. There's no matchmaking, a romantic tips. It's just about pardiculous relationships. I love my be any type of person at all, and that's

draped cons that a concrete ball. But if there's a story with a second glance, ridiculous, roll a production of I Heart Radio. First off, I just want to ask, did you ever see the movie Gay Puri. It's like the Arista Cats. It's about it's a it's a cartoon. I want to say. It was probably the sixties or seventies, not Disney, but you know some parallel company that was

making animated movies back then, and it's very similar. I mean I don't know about plot for plot, but similar style movie about some cats and they all lived in Paris. And it was called gay PERI p u r r e. Maybe gape purree. Where's the cooking show gay Puree? I would watch it. Hello, I am heterosexually. Can I still make this pure? You may not know. It's a gap. So Collette made her stage debut just a few months before she left Willie for good, at a house party

thrown by Natalie Clifford Barney. Collette had a brief affair with Natalie, but this was far from unusual because Natalie is the self proclaimed queen of the lesbians in Paris. So she's having affairs all kinds of wives. Oh my goodness, very much so. And they're all from our previous episode. They're all like, oh my god, this is what he's supposed to feel like or amazing in uh. Natalie was an American writer. She knew she was a lesbian by the time she was twelve, and she decided to be

as out and proud as possible. In fact, she welcomed the scandal that came along withouting herself because it meant that boys would stop bothering her. She's like, they never believe me when I tell him I'm a lesbian until it's in the newspapers. She was also a non monogamous. She did not believe in fidelity, even when her partners did so. She had so many affairs and lovers, famous

and not famous. She definitely needs her own episode at something because it's just too many wonderful, wonderful relationships going on. With Natalie Barney, I'm interested, but we want to tell you about just one of them today. Yes, because in eight, which I can never say in eight, all my Newsies fans out there you know what I'm talking about, because the opening line of Newsies, at least the movie I

haven't seen the stage show is Max Casell. In eighteen nine nine, the streets in New York City echoed with the voices and without here and that, well, you should do that line in that way. In eighteen nine nine, one of the most famous look in one of the most famous beautiful and sought after courtesan's in Paris was named Lean Depugi, who got offers from wealthy and titled

men all the time. In fact, this woman was so famous that the eight nineties female impersonator Herbert Charles Polite named his drag character Deane de Lugie after Lean Depuge.

Dean Druggie is pretty good able name. Yeah, alright. So one night Natalie Are, American lesbian party host, saw Leande de Puggie dance, and she was so struck by her beauty that she dressed up like a page and presented herself at Depuggee's dressing room doors, saying, I am a messenger of love straight from Sappho herself Sappho famously lesbian poet, and Puggie was so charmed by the audacity of this approach,

she's like, damn, that's good. You know, like when somebody comes in which just like such an elaborate pickup line, there's a costume involved, and you're like, I wouldn't even be interested, but I just am, like, I gotta give you credit for this exactly. And so they started an affair, and Natalie inspired characters for a number of novels, including Leander Puggi's novel Ideal and also Natalie inspired British writer Radcliff Hall, who based one of the characters in her

book The Well of Loneliness on Natalie. Whould just considered to be the most famous lesbian novel of the twentieth century. And I will say that separate from this story, Like three weeks ago, I added radcliff Hall to our list because she's got so many stories to tell. All these lesbians were piled up on top of each other around the literally and figuratively exactly exactly because they all crossed paths.

It's just because I was so interesting to be in this period of time, because it just it spans so long that like, yeah, all this turn of the century cool stuff going on, they all met each other at some point. Do you think, like non famous lesbians or non artist lesbians, we're seeing them and being like, I wish I could be part of the cool group. You know, like you see movie stars all hang out now, and you're like, whatever, they're so cool and they get to

hang out and do rich people stuff together. You know, yeah, I could. I could be friends with them if they just noticed me. Yeah, you don't even know what you're missing. Them hanging out with me, the common lesbians of France at the time, we're the common lesbians. Little jealousy. But

anyway back to Collette. By five, Natalie and Colette are having their physical relationship and it helped usher Collette onto the stage, and that's when she decided to train with the famous pantomime George Wag and realized that Willie wanted out of their marriage just as much as she did, which is nice when it's mutual. But it wasn't that easy.

As Collette wrote in her nineteen seventy nine memoir My Apprenticeships, she wrote, quote to desert the domestic hearth was to us provincial girls of nineteen hundred or so, a formidable and unwieldy notion, encumbered with policemen and barrel topped trunks and thick veils. Not to mention railway timetables, which is

so true. It's really important too. It's kind of hard to grasp how little information a lot of women had about how the world worked because men were so much in charge of like arranging shit, Like they literally didn't know when the train came or where it went to or how much the ticket was, like, you really had to get a lot of help to leave your husband.

It's not easy. Um. For example, when Leanne Depugie escaped from her abusive husband in the eighteen nineties, she had to sell her piano behind his back and flee in secret to Paris. And once she got there, you know, she had to support herself and what industry cannot nobly born woman support herself in but acting in prostitution. So she started training in those industries, I guess, and she quickly became dependent on cocaine and opium throughout her life.

So when you decided to leave your husband, and not only meant you were leaving you know, the safety of your home, any children you may have had with that man, any money or property you owned was all his, So you were leaving all that behind. But you also knew that you had to support yourself by hook or by crook, and so it was a lot to do it. Fortunately, Collette had help with her escape in the form of

Matilde de Morny. She was the Marquise de bell Buff and Colette met her through Natalie Barney, Queen of Lesbians, Queen Lesbians. All she's like let me five. Mattild who was better known as Missy, was born in eighteen sixty three and she was the daughter of Napoleon the Third's half brother Charles and his wife Sophie. Now Charles was the illegitimate son of the Queen of Holland, and Sophie

was the illegitimate daughter of Czar Nicholas the First of Russia. Hey, yea, So it was a lot of like illegitimate children, but they were still high born, so it wasn't It wasn't for nothing, um, but probably couldn't inherit power, No not, but it's given me like a neest Castro Peter Portugal vibes. All these highly born, very well connected, you know, but illegitimate people run around right like we gotta get married

to somebody good. Also, Napoleon the Third, his whole family always causing trouble, was such a fast I want to learn more about him specifically, because of course we just got a pretty deep taste of his involvement in the Maximilian and carlottis ory. But he's been popping up all over the place. I mean, I guess when you're an emperor, you know, do involve yourself your fingers in a few pies. True, the pies of a nation, global pies. But don't worry

about all those extra names. We're here talking about Missy. After her father, Charles de Morny, died when Missy was only two, her mother remarried a Spanish nobleman, so Missy's childhood was mostly spent in Spain. Missy didn't have a great relationship with her mother. Her mother called her tape beer because she had a long nose, like that's like that ant eater kind of animal. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah,

that's rude, very rude. Um. But Missy and her stepfather, the Spanish nobleman, got along great and they would go hunting together in the Castile countryside. Missy also loved bullfighting, and she had kind of a childhood crush on one of these bullfighters named Dolores Sanchez, who was called La Fragosa, which means the rough. It's a great name for female bullfighter. Uh. La Fargosa was also the first female bullfighter to wear

the male costume. Yeah, there were apparently a few. It wasn't It was rare to have a female bullfighters, but there were a few. They just wore lady, lady clothes, and she was like, funk that there's a whole outfit. I'm wearing outfit, which I admire. You need to write clothes for the right job. Well, La Farragosa told Missy once that a woman could do anything a man could do. So I'm out here fighting bulls in pants, in pants,

and look, the sun still rises in the morning. I'm out here fighting bulls and pants, and the thing people are shocked by is the pants. So it ain't that heart. This is just a period of time where women wearing pants was like, I mean, people were goings. You could send someone to an asylum by walking up walking by bio wearing some trousers. Sheeps like insane. Well this he took this lesson to heart. Spain is also where Missy

had her first lesbian affair with a servant girl. But that sneaky little servant girl blackmailed Missy afterwards to keep her quiet. Okay, now this is a pretty common story. Well do you have the servants aint got nothing to lose,

that's true, and everything to gain. That's true. In fact, around eight just a few years after this, in eighteen eighty six, is when Magnus Hirshfield, our favorite and scientist, was run around Germany and saying, hey, we should legalize homosexuality because it's really just letting people get blackmailed all day long. That's the only thing you're doing. Um, And that's that's how common that show was. It was literally

his entire in argument. Wow. So when she was eighteen years old in eighteen eighty one, Missy married Jack Goodar, the Marquis de bille Buff and moved to Normandy. This sounds like kind of a conventional marriage, right, It's just like Marquis or Mayory. You're young, you're married a guy. Power marriage, great job everyone. But it was anything but conventional because Jacques Godard was well known as a homosexual man. Everybody knew it um, and Missy herself was becoming more

and more open about her preference for women. So they were kind of each other's beards, I guess the lack of a better word, if you're unfamiliar with the term a beard, of course, like if you're trying to hide the fact that you're gay, you have sort of like a fake heterosexual partner who they would call your beard, your disguise. Yeah, it's making me think of local playwright tofor Payne wrote a play called Perfect Arrangements that in

the fifties, and I think it's similar. It's like two gay men and two gay women and they marry each other so that they can be together, you know what I mean. So it's like a perfect arrangement. So this was like their perfect arrangement. And some sources say that Missy and Jacques disliked each other. Other sources say that they really appreciated each other because their marriage afforded them a lot of freedom to kind of like do their own things, um, and that they stayed on good terms

even after they divorced in nineteen o three. So maybe they disliked each other's like personal company, but they were like, hey, thanks a lot for being my my shelter, you know, in this horrible place where I can't be myself. Who knows. But whether Missy liked Jacque or not, she's rich, she's unfettered, She's able to pursue any romantic relationship she wanted, and one of those relationships was with the famous courtesan Liane Dapucci. The story goes that Leane was already seeing a rich

nobleman at the time. So Missy, dressed as a man, challenged the guy to a duel for the ain's affections Missy one, and then, to add insult to injury, ripped her shirt open to expose her breast so that he would know he lost to a woman. Which I kind of take two ways, Like I'm like, one way, I'm like, ha, fuck you. But on the other way, I'm like, but you're better, right, why are you do being a woman even relevant? If you're better, you're better. Well, just showing him,

like maybe you should think it about what women can do. Buddy, you don't know. You don't know me. I'm missy bitch. So Missy dressed mostly like a woman in public traditionally, though she would do it as sort of manish as she could get away with. When she was with more like minded people, she preferred to wear men's clothes, so she had a garment made with this detachable skirt that she could wear pants underneath. Yeah, it's like a velcro rip off in pants today. I'm clear, where are my

smelling salts? I know? Right? This is apparently a time to when women like to be daring, very daring fashion for women to wear a really short tie, like a man's short time that was like the Mannish dress. I guess I don't think it's just so funny again, like these things that were so like people and it's like a fucking tie, okay. And then after Missy's mother died in eight nine, Missy shed all the pretense. She cut

her hair short. She began dressing exclusively in men's three piece suits that she ordered from Severe Row, even though at the time it was technically illegal for women to cross dress. They had to go get special permission from the police just to wear pants. That's right, but Missy was a marquees so she got away with it. Missy was always checking her privilege about that sort of thing. She would frequently say, thanks to my position in society, I'm able to do things like walking around in suits.

A chambermaid could not do that. So she knew. She knew that her she she had privileges. She understood. Good for you, Missy. Now sources diverge here. Some say Missy either strapped down her breasts or had them removed altogether, and that she may have undergone a hysterect to me as well, which was at the time the closest thing you could get to a gender confirmation surgery. It's also said that she was one of the first people to install fitness equipment in her home in Paris, and she

would invite people over to watch her workout naked. And I just got to say, that is a nightmare. I would wake up from a cold sweat in the idea of people watching me a exercise and be exercise naked. Horrible. Absolutely not first fitness influencer, Like, I don't like going to the gym fully clothed, you know the other people around it takes. Yeah, are good enough that she's like coming, come see me work out naked? Yeah? No, I'm good for her for her confidence. I mean, whether no matter

how she liked, she felt good about it, right, do it? Missy. Missy also started going by Max or Uncle acts and called herself a marquis instead of a marquise, which is of course the differentiation between the masculine and feminine form of the word in French um. Although when she started sculpting and writing, her artist name was Y sim or

Missy backwards. So all this gender bending and max this and marquis that it has some scholars feeling that Missy would be a transman today and that we should refer to her with he him pronounce. However, an article by Julia Diana Robertson on the Velvet Chronicle dot com argues against rewriting gender bending people like Missy as transgender because it basically erases butch lesbians from history. Interesting. Okay, yeah, yeah, she heard the art. The author herself is a butch lesbian.

So she's like, you're basically telling me that I did not exist in the past, and I would be a man rewritten as a man, like people will look back at my life and say, well, she must have been she must have considered herself to be a man, you know. And she's like, no, that's not what I'm saying here. True. I'm very proud of my femininity. It's I present it in a different way. So she points out many lesbians

and history wore men's clothes or had male nicknames. But it was really more about defying gender norms, redefining what women could be and what they could do and what they could look like and all that stuff than it was about feeling like you're in the wrong body, which, again, when it comes to being transgender, it's literally like I feel wrong, not just I like to wear pants, So

it's it is a really important distinction. Um Julia also mentions the rumor about Missy having her breasts and ovaries surgically removed is based on a single rumor. It was never substantiated anywhere else. Dr kaji Amin, who is one of the most well respected scholars on the Morning, is quoted in Julia's article is saying that the rumor is quote based on a single, unverified and never duplicated claim by philosopher and activists Simone Veal, who moreover, was not

one of de Morny's intimates. It's not likely that someone has a notorious and subject to gossip could have had her ovaries and breast tissue surgically removed, as Veal claims without anyone else having taken notes. So an interesting point. And I that's true that I saw that claim a couple of times that she had surgery, and none of them had a source for m So that's very important.

I just want to throw that out there. No, it is important, and it's important in the conversation when we do talk about historical figures that you know we're bending gender uh, and experimenting with gender or redefining their own gender. Before this sort of modern conversation that we're having about gender was ever even really happening in the in the

larger culture. Because even now, again keep going back to this, we are living inside that conversation right now that we're still figuring it out, um, and and definitions are going to change, and just listen and just go with it. You know, who's who's out here pushing back. But it does mean that historically when we talk about these people until we get a time machine, all of these I mean from Ella Gabalus uh to um to Paully Murray, uh, you know, to even now talking about Missy, it's all

where is it. It's in speculation station. It's the best we can do. But you know, just listen to people, take for what it's worth and do what you can exactly. So by nineteen o six, Missy was well known for her dashing suits, and after Natalie introduced her to Collette, oh, she was just wild for her. Well, this lady you probably read some of those books and was like, yes, please hot, can I be Claudine please in this story?

Can you imagine maybe she read Claudine and was like, maybe one day a lady like that, and then she actually meets college. Don't let me have sex with you now. In November of that year, nineteen o six, Missy helped Collette move out of Willie's house into a flat her own, and she was helping financially support her. Like we said, this would have been really difficult for Collette to do on her own, but she had some help from some

wealthy friends. But she also followed Collette to the stage and between the two of them, they caused a riot with a single kiss. And we're gonna hear more about that. Right after this we all venue back to the show. I should learn that entire phrase lingo. I see yes, duo lingo. Literally it's two languages, two words in one English.

So Colette was doing stage shows with George Wogg from nineteen o six to nineteen eleven throughout France and Belgium, and they gained a lot of notoriety for their scandalous nature. You know, mimes of the day, a lot of a lot of hands stuff. Um. They part cantally scandalized people with a show called La Chair La Share, in which Collette ready for this cover your children's ears? Why did she do? She bared abreast a nipple no On whistling

Shade dot com. In the article titled the Endearing Collette, the writer Joel van Valen says that this caused scandal praise, cartoon, caricatures and even humorous poems in the press. And that's going to take us down to poetry corner, where we'll hear this short little gem from a Marseille newspaper I saw la share. Now it might not be fine art, but I admit Collette certainly has nice tits. And anyone who likes snuckers would agree, Oh my goodness. Well wait, man,

is that you I love the A B B A uncommon? Yeah, this person was really pushing boundaries. So Collette had already done a number of these performances, so she's getting real famous for like licentious behave Like Colette's name is, you know, and means something shady and sexy and everything. So all this came to a head when she and Missy performed a pantomime together in nineteen o seven called Red or

Egyptian Dream. We found a great write up about the pantomime and the riot that ensued on a website called Best France Forever dot com. Brilliant this Best France, Best France Forever, that's my new favorite. You are ill home page bookmarked now. Even though Collette is the writer and entertainer in this relationship, it was Missy who wrote this piece under her pseudonym Ya sim And it's about fifteen

minutes long. And what happens in the pantomime is a male Egyptologist played by Missy, was flicking through a book and kind of like falls asleep, and then he's overcome with phantasmagorical visions, statues and paintings in the room coming to life. It's like night at the museum or something. And from the corner, a sarcophagus opens to reveal a mummy played by Colette, who dances seductively towards the scholar

and putting kind of putting him under her spell. He begins to remove her bandages to reveal the woman underneath, and she comes closer to receive his kiss that will bring her back to life. But at the moment of embrace, the Egyptologists kind of wakes up and realizes it was all a dream. I swear to you, I've had this dream sexy mummy comes out of a sarcophagus and slowly takes all her bandages off, comes in for a kiss,

and then I wake up. Every time, damn it. It's like the alarm going off, or like Hobbes is licking my face. Classic classic, Like the mummy just turned my head and started licking my cheeks. This mummy is like just licking my ear over and over again. It was kind of hot, but now it's a bit like, oh, it's the dog. Although I bet Hobbs's breath kind of is comparable to a thousands zero mummies breath. Definitely. Oh god.

So miss and Collette were all set to perform this pantomime at the Moulin Rouge on January three of nineteen o seven, which is a time when I really want to go to a Mulan Rouge show. Absolutely, that's on the time Travel Yes, time Travel wish List, time Travel Itinerary with Mulan Ruge. Absolutely. Now the house was packed for this show. Everybody's ready to see it. Been a lot of buzz. One of the people excited for this

Sexy Mummy dance. Missy had tried to keep her involvement on the d L because of course, you know, I'm gonna know it's Missy. You're gonna be looking for something, right, um. But the Mulan Rouge thought that it would be good advertising to use her and her ex husband's family crests on their marketing materials. This really piste her off, so much so that she later sued the Mulan Rouge and one that's right, she was like, I never said you could do that. I was trying not to let my

family know that I was a part of this whole thing. Yeah. Oh, not only did they know, but it looks like they co signed it. But Paris was also rife with curiosity about the exact nature of the relationship between these two women. They knew that Colette was a famous author and a scandalous performer, and they knew Missy was a cross dressing aristocrat connected to some of the highest society. So tongues began to wag about what they were doing together, and

when about about what their tongues were doing? Where is their tongue wagon. One reporter even broke into Colette's house and started asking probing questions about the show and Missy, and I gotta ask, did you think that was gonna work likes. Is Collette just going to be like, oh, well, you broke into my house, so I guess I have to answer your questions. Now, I'll draw a little diagram

for you about how we do it. Hell out of here. Yeah, she was like, Missy's fine and cool, get the funk out, and he's like Collette describes Missy and two words you won't believe the second one, Yes, find this one weird word that Collette called Missy. Doctors hate it. Did your ad blocker to find out. So with all this hype and hullabaloo and everything, it's really not surprising that a

huge crowd turned out for this pantomime. Now, some were there to support, including Collette's estranged husband Willie Willy's like, I'm a supporter of the arts and lesbians. I was married to one, matter of fact. But just as many, if not more, we're there too just to show their disapproval. Okay, we've got like Westboro Baptist styles, like they're like we're going best friends forever. Said they quote came prepared to disrupt the performance, carrying objects to throw and whistles too

below and whistling and jeering started right away. Just as soon as they saw like lights came up and they saw Missy in a man's suit, they were like, let's start making noise. Um. They threw oranges and apples and old vegetables and lit cigars onto the stage. Very dangerous. When Collette emerged from the sarcophagus, they threw a bunch of old turnips at her feet. Um. Just so rude

and bravely. I in my opinion, it would be very hard to perform with people screaming throughout the entire thing that they hate you and you're dead, right, But like, I mean, I'm not sure they were staying that, but basically that's the energy you're getting. But they kept going. The crowd starts chanting at them to get off stage, like thumping canes and stamping their feet and just being crazy.

When Missy started to unravel Collett's bandages, the items they threw got larger and larger, Like they started throwing cushions and even small benches. Oh my god, Like the you can knock someone out for life, Yeah, for real, knock someone out for life, by which I mean murder. I was permanently rendered unconscious. I mean I suppose that could be a coma. Well, yeah, at any rate, dangerous. It's a dangerous thing to do. Please do not throw benches

at performers, or turnips for that matter. Turnips are hard, true, But the crowd was not able to derail the performance enough before it reached its climax, and Missy and Collette locked lips in front of everyone. Oh my god, mon dieu. It was pandemonium. People were up on their feet, shouting and jeering, and they start just it's like a soccer riot. People to start punching someone next to them for no reason at all. They just seriously just said riot breakout.

Willie stood up to chastise that, He's like, you are our ridiculous, these are perfectly lovely women, just has his art. But he was surrounded and he was attacked by the angry mob with fists and sticks. The action spilled out into the streets where a bunch of windows were smashed, and there's just chaos going on, like cat Dela before, just losing their minds, just ship being thrown everywhere, boards being ripped off the side of the building and smacking

people with them. You know, somebody throws a lantern and it probably bursting certain person to flame. Somewhere, there's cats and dogs screaming running around that cats running around, screaming and howling, just absolute chaos. Eventually the police come screaming

in and they start breaking up this riot. At the time, this police was led by Louis Lepine, who would go on to reform the police by introducing forensic techniques and more formal procedures and trying to restore public faith in policing. It's like people don't like cops for some reason. He actually earned the nickname the little Man with the Big Stick for his skill in breaking up large crowds. Tells you how he broke up the crowds out of me. Yes.

After it was shut down, Louis allowed the show to go back up the next night provided a man play the Egyptologists. He's like, I can't do this again, guy, so George Wog took over the role. But the next night was also a disaster, with the crowd shouting and whistling throughout the show, and after that it was completely banned from Paris. Two months later, Collette and George performed the show in Niece for three nights with no problem,

zero issues, no problem, could not handle. Yeah, Niece was like, let's show those Parisians how we do it. We are much nicer than them. I was waiting for it. But it's so so good. Lesbians. Come have a nice time in Nie. Okay, I bet you could have a nice time in Niece. Now Collet is still writing novels. Okay.

So her eight book, Tendrils of the Vine is about her relationship with Missy, and then in ten she published The Vagabond, about her life on the stage, and that same year she and Missy purchased a house together on the coast in Brittany, France. Or more accurately, Missy bought the house for them to live in together. Um. But even though Missy was the one with the money, the owner refused to let her sign the lease because she

was dressed like a man and not a woman. Um. So that changes her signature somehow or something, I guess. So Colette had to sign instead, which just a little little humiliation for Misty probably presumably still had to sign the check and he took that just fine. Um. On the same day that they signed that least, uh, Colette's divorced from Willie was made official, So big day for them,

probably popped a bottle of champagne. Meanwhile, plenty of men, you know, we're still trying to get with Colette because she's this hot lady who's showing off her titties on stage and there I want a pizza that right, So they would like steal backstage to give her flowers and invite her to exclusive gatherings and try to take her to dinner and all this stuff. And Joel Van Vallen writes on Whistling Shade that quote. Once, to discourage a would be suitor who had been hanging about Colette, had

the maid conduct him to her bedroom. Then she got out of bed naked, ignoring her would be lover, and going behind her dressing screen, began farming until the shocked gentleman left. What a move it get him out. Now She's lucky it wasn't James Joyce, because that would have been even more. He would have been like, I'm more into it than ever all I've ever wanted. She's like, my backside has backfired, My backfires have backfired. True. I also love who who was writing this down? Like? Was

the maid? Like, oh my god, today Collette farted until this guy sucked up. I bet Collette wrote it down. I found the trick, ladies, you're trying to scare a man off beans. I'm just amazed by the control dedicated farts. She's ready, all right, but not everyone got the fart treatment. Collette very much like this fellow August Area, who was this rich and some air to a department store fortune,

who was thirteen years younger than she was. And August followed her around like a puppy, and he just like just spoiled her. He bestowed every luxury on her. He's like, I am the heir to a department store. So if you want perfumes or fresh socks, or probably lack a little one of those gift baskets, you know, with the cheese and a jelly jar and deodorant stick, a little nice h I've got it for you, baby, hul. He also took her to Italy, which should win me over.

That's all I need. You got me um, and he drove her around in his fancy motor cars. I mean, he must have been incredibly rich to have a motor car at this period of time, because that show was wildly expensive, absolutely and maybe the most appealing to Collette. In Judith Thurman's book Secrets of the Flesh, she says they even shared a lover named Lily Darem when they were in niece together. Yeah, said, niece his niece for lesbians. Niece,

his niece, very welcoming. Apparently Lily dream is also she based. Collette based a character in one of her books on Lily, and she's kind of like the original manic pixie dream girl type trope. Sort of interesting, what a trio. So Collette and August stayed together for two years, and during this time, Collette was still living with Missy by the way,

in the house that Missy bought Colette signed for. But soon Missy and Collett's relationship kind of started to fall apart because Collette, despite all her other relationships with August, with Missy, with Lily Darem, with whoever was coming along, she fell madly in love with a journalist named Ride de Jouvenel. And Missy saw this guy and she was like, this ain't no side piece, this is a real threat

to our relationship. She even tried tempting Colette away from him by letting the department store air August Harriott come live at their house, like telling Collette like, hey, you stick with me and you can have the best of both worlds. Yeah, we can both be you know, we can live in a manage together, right, But that just offended Collette. She was like, that's not what I'm looking for here. I'm looking for a connection. Maybe she wanted

on re or No One. So at the end of nineteen eleven, Missy and Collette parted ways, and Missy was definitely broken up about Collette dumping her until, as Collette wrote, she quote took up with a pretty fat woman who sings her praises to this guy's little jealousy. I think little jealousy. But would we all could find a pretty fat woman to sing our praises to the guy? Thank you very much. But Colette and Henri had to untangle some of their personal affairs in order to get their

own affair going. And it's kind of farcical. So let's just take a quick break and come back for more of this crazy Yes, all right, welcome back to the show. Near the end of Collette had decided to subsidized her theater income with some journalism, and thanks to the success of The Vagabond, she was hired by one of the more respected papers in Paris, Lama him the Morning, the Morning. That's a nice refreshing title for a paper. I think.

I think the morning paper is more widely read than the afternoon paper, but I could be wrong, I would think. So I'm busy in the afternoon. I go, yeah, you know, these parisans and there get up and go out of business to take care. They don't linger over lunch anything. I love that Colette went from you know, basically his wife to author, well to ghostwriter to author, to mime to journalist, the true vagabond lifestyle. She's doing it with

like in high society, which is great. Yeah, and it must be said, you know, she's really broke at this time because Willie owns the copyright to Claudine, so he's still breaking it in. They're still selling really well, but she can't make any money off of that. But they're like close kind of right. I mean, he came to her play, but he won't get any he won't give any money. Oh, Willie the worst, Willie, the worst Willie.

So anyway, she started writing a weekly column for Limitan called Le journeal de Collette, and it was like her personal views on the day I guess what was going on in the world. And her colleague and the editor in chief of this paper was on Red Juvenel, and it wasn't long before these two were falling hard for each other. On Re was a handsome, proud man. He's three years Collett's junr. She likes him young, young, she says, like it's a little old for me, but you can

make this work. He was smart and eloquent. He was also a bit of a spendthrift and a womanizer. She also like those guys he loves that um. But to do to Thurman, his attraction for Colette is obvious, beyond any physical charm or financial charm that he had, she writes. Quote for once Colette had met a peer, not a parent or a child, Henri did more than desire her.

He recognized her. And one of the most revealing statements she would ever make about their romance was this one to sdo her mother, where she wrote, I received letters from d Juvenel that are truly worthy of me, if I dare to say so, oh wow, which I think is a good point because Collette's, of course, Willie's Willie was way older than her when they got married. Then she was with August who's way younger than her. Um.

And between that she's with women who were her peers. UM. So she was connecting in different ways with these women. So now she's finally found a man who's like on the same level as her intellectually in his life and all that stuff. Now it is interesting though, um, because well it just sounds like this guy like was not just her age peer, but maybe an intellectual peer in ways that Willie certainly wasn't that A Goose probably wasn't. We can assume, you know, she's just like, here's he's

a writer. You know, he's a journalist. He's he knows how to read. Smarty pants know how to read. I also do love the the thisussault of arrogance in that claim the truly worthy of me? If I dare say so, can you believe someone wrote a letter worthy of me? Usually I'm, you know, very generous in accepting letters from these losers. But I think this guy might actually I might read this one. I actually like his letters. Now it wasn't perfect. Enrid de Juvenal was married with a son,

but he was living with his mistress. Anyway, This was a fiery redhead named Isabel de Comminge. She was known as the Panther, and he had been living with her since nineteen o six. Isabel's family had a title but not much money, so she had been married off to some rich Parisian banker named Count play Will. But according to Judith Thurman's book, Count play Will had a psychotic breakdown. She writes, quote, he thought he was a dog. He shot his wife's great Dane. His family committed him to

an asylum, where he spent the remainder of his life barking. Okay, this is like an insane thing to just throw out and then have zero follow up on, right, But there isn't much follow up on this guy, unfortunately. I want to know why he thinks the dog uses a gun. I want to know why he shot the great Dane. Did he say something like I don't, I just anyway, it's just a overly weird story, sad because you know they didn't really have any way to treat him in

nineteen o seven. Is he like there could only be one dog in this house, Scooby, he scoots and he shoots the great Dane. Fuck? Maybe and maybe I don't know, but it's a sad a little bit of a sad story for Count p They will. Yeah, Well, after Count Pila Will was sent to this asylum where he just spent the rest of his life barking. Isabel took back her maiden name and moved in with her lover, Enrid de Juvenel, and they had a kid together in nineteen

o seven. This is just a couple of years before Collette was going to meet him, and neither of them were very interested in this kid that they had bad parents, had parents, a lot of bad parents in this story, true, but Henri at least was very interested in the sexy, sensual, and talented Collette that he would meet a few years later, and after a torrid affair they had together, he told

her he quote couldn't and wouldn't live without her. He went home to Paris to tell Isabel that he was leaving her for Collette, and Isabel surely was like, well, I am shocked that this man's fidelity would come into question. This man who's who was having an affair with me, uh, you know, is now having an affair on me with someone else who could have suggested such a thing. I guess he also was like, and I guess I'll finally divorce my wife. Oh wow, okay he still married. Well

that would best would Isabel off too? Maybe she's like, oh, you'll divorce your wife for her, but not for me. Well I wondered that, but I don't think so, because Isabel probably could not get divorced from because he was not sane enough to consent to. Yeah, she was kind of a chained woman at that in that point. I think there was something about that where you couldn't you can't divorce on the basis of insanity or something like that,

So she couldn't get divorced, so she didn't care. So she was like, I know we were never going to get married, but we were kind of living together as a married couple for years. We have a kid, like, we kind of had a committed relationship going. So she probably still was pretty pissed yea, And yeah, she did not take it. Well, the panther was riled up. People want to rile up a panther. You really don't want

to piss off a panther. And uh, first she went straight to Missy and told her all about coletting and Henri run around behind Missy's back. That's how Missy found out about their relationship and started talking to a goost about moving in and stuff. Isabel came to Paris tracked down her illicit lover's illicit lover lover. It's like I'm picturing the Charlie Day conspiracy board that is Paris right now. Okay,

everyone's fucking everybody. So after she told Missy and got Missy all upset, she then swore to Henri that she would kill Colette oh my god, and literally started prowling around Paris with her revolver looking for Colette. In fact, Colette had to sequester herself in her Paris apartment with like several of the investigative reporters from Lament like standing guard around her. Oh yeah, if there's one, If there's one group of people I want protecting me from a

violent threat, it's journalists. Yeah, they're so brave. Well, journalists are very brave, but I don't know if they get a lot of time to spend at the gym. Also true, are they fast and they fight? Maybe they were like partly boxers so they could go out to investigate with their then you know a story. Yeah, break any caps for the story. All right, maybe I get some investigative journalists. Have you protect me? Uh? Anderson Cooper Anderson Cooper, don Lemon.

I don't think that those two are really I'd be like Suze Orman, she would be so anyway, this is a dangerous period of time. Colette literally has a woman like calling for her blood in the streets of Paris and like carrying a gun around trying to jump out at her. And she's got people standing outside her door and all this stuff. But then suddenly one day the danger had passed and Colette was able to emerge and

be free. And why do you think that is? Well, that's because Isabelle and our department store air August Harry all decided to rebound together what they've She's like, these two pieces of yarn just got crossed in the conspiracy board. That's the ending to this story. They embarked on a six week cruise on his yacht together, after, as Collette wrote in a letter quote, having shocked Lahove their home port with their drunken orgies. Isn't it nice? Isn't it

theater a bit too much? No, wrote exactly what I'm thinking, just like this is if this was in a movie, i'd be like, that's unbelievable, but those two got too ridiculous romance. But exactly these two side characters just happened to pair off. Well, I guess that's a nice, clean, tidy ending. I'm like, did they meet each other? Like she's prowling around, like drops her revolver and kicks it by accus, oh, madam, you'd be returnial property. And she's like,

I'm so sorry. I'm just so pissed. My basically husband is run around on me with this other lady, Collette, like she's so special, and August is like, Collette, that's my girlfriend, and I'm mad at her for right around on me with some journalists. And they're like, let's get back at him by sleeping together. And it actually just solved other problems where he's like, you know, you seem so upset. Let me let me try you on a new pair of shoes. Come by my store a gift

basket perfumes. L So with that threat gone, with that lover handled neutralized, I guess Collette and Henri settled in. They both were still working on the Batan. Collette was still working in the music halls and theaters as well, and then she got pregnant, so she and Henrid the Juvenel married in nineteen twelve, and six months later she gave birth to their daughter, also named Collette, who was

nicknamed Belle Gazoo I mean beautiful gazelle. So I guess she had long legs maybe sure, or horns twist horns. History doesn't say, speculation station this girl had long, curly horns, like the corkscrew kind, you know, like an impaulas well. After Collette gave birth, she left the theater and became an editor of Lamentin, which by was one of the biggest papers in Paris, and she was madly in love with Henri, who she called c D, which means lord

in Arabic. But CD here was another womanizer who was frequently absent. He worked long hours and saw lots of ladies, just like Willie had. Natalie Barney wrote of Colette, quote, torn between the desires of her two contrary natures to have a master and to not have one, she always opted for the first solution, so she was usually going with the idea of like, well, let me just get that classic husband, you know, even though part of me

wants to live this kind of more libertine lifestyle. Yeah, she well, we talked a little bit about in the first episode about how she felt like marriage was a shackle in a way, and like it took away your sense of sovereignty over yourself. So she was really divided. But she I think she did want to be loved and taken care of and felt like she was the main the main character, you know, in that person's life

and all that. So she was kind of torn between these this sense of I would rather be single forever and be able to just call my own shots. Um, But in the world she lived in, women didn't really get to call their own shots, especially if they're not independently wealthy. So maybe if she lived in a world where she could be independently wealthy and really legitimately run around do whatever she wants, she would never have gotten married.

But because marriage was also a bit of freedom for a woman, you know, it was just a weird I think it's just a weird dichotomy as she had within herself about whether or not marriage was freedom or not right not to mention, she probably had the same struggle between like I really love someone and that means I should be exclusively with them versus, uh, I really like sex with people, and I want to go have fun

and stuff. And this was certainly a long time before, but there was a general conversation culture about polyamory and the idea that you can really love someone and also really love someone else and also want to have sex with someone else, you know, like that's obviously she was kind of living that life, but I don't think she fully probably even accepted it of herself, as she must have certainly had that struggle in her mind, like, but at some point and I got to settle down with somebody,

and don't I really like Henri right well, and again, like Natalie Barney is run around saying, don't be fidelious, be polyamorous and have as many relationships as possible, and that's not a natural state of things. Um. But there was also some kind of talk about whether Collette, when especially when she was married, preferred affairs with women because she couldn't get pregnant. So it was also kind of like this is a you know, all the fear that you can have from an affair is gone if it's

another woman. But also we talked a little bit about how she had never really intellectually connected with any of these men in her life, only the women. So she was getting just a totally different, you know, need fulfilled by these ladies. Besides a totally separate from sex. She probably also preferred to have affairs with women because women are hot, women are hot, are gross. I'm the first person to ever say that all men are gross. Grows sweet.

Now hang on now, look, it's very untrue. Everyone's hot, quite frankly, quite frankly, everyone's hot. Everyone's hot. Yeah. So that brings us to the end of this episode. But Collette's story is far from over because she still has Andre's first wife to deal with. Oh no, she's coming back, oh yeah, as well as his teenage steps on Bertram more along. But first there's a tiny little world war that she has to get through, So we will save all that for next time in Part three of our

Collette series. Yes, I'm loving it, Isn't it great? There's so many affairs in this one. I was like, I almost I was going to try to get through get through her marriage with Andri, but it was just too many good, ridiculous romance much coming up in this single era. It's perfect because we're out of time anyway, that's true. We packed it in. This lady lived a life. We're

only in the middle of it. She's got so much going on, man, I tell you, if we get to go back and relive people's lives afterwards, I'm getting in line for this one. There's a pretty good one. I mean, she, you know, downs having some fun to our point about whether or not she felt more free as a single person or free in marriage, or how she felt about

that dichotomy. Um. There's a really great passage in The Guardian where they talk about the Vagabonds, the book The Vagabond she wrote, which, of course very much based on her own life and feelings. It ends with her character Renee, touring the south of France, having accepted an insistent, wealthy young fan as a lover and knowing that he wants to marry her, and she's tempted to marry him, but quote, of course, she would love to be loved, to be safe,

to escape the drudgery of touring. Collette once did thirty two performances on consecutive nights in thirty two different towns. Exhausting, but the drudgery is also the price of independence. How to hold onto that and also be what society understands a woman to be. For days, she weighs it up until a moment comes when she realizes Missy has not been in her thoughts at all. Instead, she has been

looking for words. And here they quote collect words to express how yellow the sun is, how blue the sea, and how brilliant the salt, like a fringe of white jet. Yes, I have forgotten him, as if the only urgent thing in the world were my desire to possess through my

eyes the marvels of the earth. In that same hour, an insidious spirit whispered to me, and if indeed that were the only urgent thing, if everything save that, we're merely ashes, which is like her whole thing was that the whole purpose of life is to just marvel at everything you can, grab as much of it and experience as much of it as you can. And I agree

with that philosophy on many made her very selfish. I think a lot of people in this time period felt that way, and that's why they were bad parents, because they were like, I don't want to be a parent. You're tying me down, you know, which is like, well, you're you shouldn't had a kid. Well, and that's the difference to now where people are sort of having that same feeling, and so they're opting out of having children

opposed to having one and ignoring them. Yeah. Yeah, and these kids were fucked up by how shitty their parents were, so they definitely were not people. Um, but I think that's so interesting that she was sort of like what she really wanted was to see and experience as much of the world as she could, and she simply could not do that as a again, not independently wealthy woman in the world, since it's not how society let you be.

And so she was like, well, I guess I should get married, partly because I love the person, of course, but also because I can't just enjoy them and enjoy my life the same way that, Like maybe she's a little jealous of Willie and Henri who could be married

and also run around and do whatever they wanted. Well, and doesn't it remind you of just today, like just the idea of a job at all from like all I want to do is travel and explore and see ship and meet people and eat food and all kinds of crazy things like that, and just experience as much as I can, But I can't do that if I don't attach myself to a job. But if I attached myself to a job, I can't do that as much,

you know. So that's the closest I can relate to this notion of like, well, yeah, I can get married, but then I'm a wife. But at least as a wife, I'll have more opportunities to be free than if I were free from being a wife. It's very frustrating. It's two different which constriction am I willing to live under? Because it's either societies or societies and just two different things, which one nets me a greater life experience. And aren't

we all asking that question every day? It's true, you know, it's very true. I love it. I hope y'all are loving it as well. We've got more for Collette next week. It just keeps on. She's a gift that keeps on getting she really is, And we'll break it up with another episode this at the end of this week with some other cool things. But please let us know your thoughts about Collette, your suggestions for other stories. Yeah, keep

those segment ideas. Yes, we've gotten a couple of good ones already, so keep them coming um and we would love to hear from you. Please email us ridic Romance at gmail dot com right or you can find us on Twitter and Instagram. I'm at Dianamite Boom and I'm at Oh Great, It's Eli. The show is at riddic Romance. Don't forget to drop us a review on Apple Podcasts, rate us on Spotify wherever you else see a rating, Throw one down and we will catch you all the

next episode. Thanks for spending your time with us today. We love you By solo friends, It's time to go. Thanks solos listening into our show. Tell your friends neighbor's uncles in dance to listen to a show ridiculous roll dance m hm