Calico Jack, Anne Bonny, & Mary Read

think she's like that type of person, you know. And I was like, oh, that's me, that's you. And sometimes me um not as sporadically like I'll sing to the dog. Absolutely, I'll sing what I'm doing sometimes, but you definitely will just bust out. It's great. I love it. It's like having a bird just always being by some random ship. Any day now I'll shut on some newspaper and let you clean it up. Oh god, no, I hope we don't get to that. That's why I prefer you to

a bird, among the reasons. That's the reason I said, quickly, correct course, correct. Welcome back to the show, everybody. Yeah, so happy to have you here. Thank you for being here, Diana, I'm eli. We're so bad at interviewing. Your terrible. Just assume that everybody knows who we are. Come on, don't you know? But no, hopefully we got brand new listeners today. Hopefully you're here for the first time tuning in, Welcome

to Ridiculous Romance. We're back on Pirates Today, episode about William Cormick and Mary Brennan, who are not pirates tally related. They birthed a pirate, the pirates would be and pirates sprang from their loins. Yes, I don't know. Would you ever if you fell in love with me, a broke sailor, would you leave your comfortable, wealthy life to come live on the high seas? Oh? Ummm, let's see do you feel that strongly about me? I've got I've got a

you know, a kind of a weird father. Um. I'm living in a plantation house in the Caribbean or no, South Carolina. Um, and things are pretty sweet. And then I decide to fall in love with a broke sailor. Do I go off with you? Yeah? What the hell sounds boring on the mainland, So yeah, sure, let's do it, and because I love you so much, obviously you're more devoted than me. I'm not sure I can do it. I'm not sure. I've been on a cruise before, much more comfortable than a pirate ship, and I still was

pretty ready for it to be over. I mean, to some degree a cruise sounds worse than a pirate ship. I mean, you know, agree with that. But look, you got it's a very rigid schedule. You know, you don't get to play under anything except the buffet you plunder. You plunder the tourist traps, yeah, the gift shops at the place you stop. Place did you stop? Like we went to the Cayman Islands? And shirts all right, and you know a little wraps like a like rap sounds

like a sandwich, did not sandwich? Like yeah, the wrong like cover ups or whatever? Okayt yeah, and hats you know, and some people would get their hair with beads quite the hall. Did you bury it anywhere on a desert? Pay for it? But it felt like plunder because you pay so little? Yeah, well, and then eventually you bring it home and it becomes trash. So yeah, it's buried somewhere now and it lent felt, so I have a

very long, drawn out pirate. If you've ever been on a cruise ship, you basically know what pirate life was like exactly. That's what we're here to let you know. Carnival cruises be a pirate today, especially if you were ever on a cruise ship and got horribly sick and yelled at by someone. Well, cruise ships aside. We're here

with the really exciting story today. Like we said, we're back in the pirate land, back on the high seas of the r R Ridiculous romance are Today we'll be spinning your yarn of more swashbuckling scaliwags and masked raisin marauders and busty buccaneers. Or here be the tale of Captain Calico Jack, Mary Reid and and Bonnie, three of the most dangerous, deceptive, and duplicitous pickaroons ever to cross

the Caribbean. Many sailors thought that having a woman on board the ship was bad luck, but Calico Jack sailed with two and they proved to be more brave, cunning, and ruthless than any of the men they were on board with. So let's hear all about the adventure the danger, and of course the romance with these three professional pirates Hank hers away, Hey, their friends come listen. Well, Elia and Diana got some stories to tell. There's no match

making a romantic tips. It's just about pridiculous relationships. A lover might be any type of person at all, an abstract concept, are a concrete wall. But if there's a story were the second glance, we'll put show Ridiculous Role. That's a production off I Heart Radio. So the golden Age of piracy was this period from around the sixteen fifties until sometime in the seventeen thirties where piracy was

rampant in the Caribbean Islands. This was the time of Black Sam Bellamy, Captain Kidd Long, Ben every and of course, as we talked about in the last episode, Everybody's New best Friends, Edward Blackbeard, Teach and Steede Bonnet, the Gentleman pirate. I love them still, well, I'm still even though in Rey they were terrible, horrible people, but on the show

they're a delight. Okay. Now, we talked in our previous Pirate episode about John Swan and Robert Culifford about how being a pirate is not all sea shanties and swashbuckling and cool outfits and talking parrots and all that. Of course, a lot of that was invented in the book we started in the last episode by Captain Johnson. It was actually pretty grueling to be a pirate. It was often very dull, just long stretches at sea, was waiting for the next thing to happen, and full of painful deaths.

I mean, there was people hunting you down, There were abusive captains. There was disease and starvation and dehydration, the tie to the bottom of the ship. Yeah. Yeah, things could go pretty badly. But pirate ships were run pretty democratically. Crew Members usually voted on where to go next. There was no uniform, and they had a contract when they boarded a ship that predetermined their share of any plunder

whenever they did a raid on another ship. So it still seemed like a better option for a lot of people than the Navy, which had a lot of the same problems as piracy, but way stricter command. But merchants, the Navy and pirates alike all shared the very same, very rational idea that there was one big no no on the high seas. Women could not be on ships. This was thought to be terrible luck and to invite nasty storms that could capsize and sink even the strongest ship.

I mean, come on, guys, Chinese has got something to say about that. I'm saying, right, they're out here like, oh there's a woman on ship. Oh but Poseidon, he's losing his aquatic ship. Can't handle it. He's gonna send a starm after us. Maybe it's just a big wet T shirt contest for It's like I'm just trying to splush and water on those big billowy shirts. And I mean, I guess that's kind of true. Because the same superstition

held that naked women could actually calm the sea. What a justification, right, That's why some ships had a mermaid with their tits out on the bow of the ship. It was like the main way they were like, hills, Yeah, this this will calm, give us calm weather. Nips out, soun's out, funds out, boobs out, show me the bees and you'll have calm seas. That's the old the old

pirates saying. I love to imagine the pirate It was like, oh, sorry, ladies would love for you to stay about their seas don't take kindly to ladies on boardy unless unless you show me the boobies and then average things actually better. This hurts me as much as hurt you. Look the sea God's demanded. I mean, I don't make the rule. But honestly, the origins of this whole superstition are a

bit dubious. The Vice Admiral of the Royal Navy, Cuthbert Collingwood once wrote, quote, I never knew a woman wrote to sea in a ship that some mischief did not befall the vessel. And this is often cited as the source for this whole belief. But David Accordingly writes in his book Women Sailors and Sailors Women on Untold Maritime History quote, as with so many sailors superstitions, it's hard to discover the origins of this one, and even harder

to find factual basis for it. He points out that Pilgrim ships and many of the ships that followed were loaded with women, and the British Navy even allowed officers wives often to live on board, and he says, quote those naval officers who did object to the presence of a woman on their ship seemed to have regarded them as a nuisance rather than a source of bad luck, and that's probably where a lot of this history really

comes from. It's not so much that women were bad luck, but that captains and officers thought that women on board would be a distraction to their crews, and there's definitely rampant misogyny and sailing culture. Historian Kyle Dalton writes that Collingwood's quote about women bringing mischief onto ships is more likely about an officer being concerned that as boys were

going to act foolish. So it's like a elementary school dress code something over here, just another time in history when men couldn't control themselves and women were blamed for it. But still there were a few women who found their way onto merchant, navy and pirate ships alike, but very cleverly wearing pants so brilliant my genius disguise. And that

brings us to today's heroes and heroin's. In our last episode, we told you the story of Anne Bonnie's birth as it was told in Captain Charles Johnson's book A General History of the Pirates, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. And you've got to go back and hear that full story in all of its insanity. But it ends with Anne at about eighteen years old, living with her wealthy merchant father, William Cormick, and she fell in love with a broke sailor named

James Bonnie. Now this really piste off her father, William, because he'd wanted Anne to marry a rich guy like you do, and was a real firecracker. I mean, she had a serious temper and she was prone to violent reactions, but James wooed her with adventurous stories from his life at sea. William got so angry when they got married that he kicked Anne out of his house and cut her off entirely. Now this really threw a wrench in James Bonnie's plans, who was kind of hoping to inherit

his father in law's big fortune. So he turns to Anne and says, I'll just go be the greatest pirate to sail the Seven Seas. And it's rumored but unproven, that, in response to her father cutting her off, and Bonnie burned his plantation to the ground. Ye that was Anne, So whether or not that's true, the next thing they did was happa ship and make their way to New Providence and the city of Nassau in the Bahamas. New

Providence was poorly defended. It had become a haven for pirates, and by seventeen thirteen, over a thousand pirates lived in Nasa, way out numbering the four to five hundred English citizens who lived there too. And Anne, it was all about that pirate life, salt life. Baby. He thought this sounded way better than inheriting some su meliol fortune anyway. And yeah, it's the golden age of piracy, right, this romanticized notion if a pirates life was already a trending topic, you know. Yeah,

she's definitely fallen for that. Yeah, she's fallen for the hype, right, I mean this is the you know, seventeen teens and um Captain Johnson's book came out in seventeen twenty four, Like this is still the arrow where everybody's talking about pirates, Like they were talking about it while it was happening. It wasn't just history that looked back on it. Yeah, pirates were cool. Yeah. So Ann and James show up in NASA, are ready to cut throats and swash buckles

and all that stuff. And she's like ready at a rumble. She starts urging James to go into local taverns and find a good captain who needed a cruise, like, let's get this going. I don't want to hang out in this island forever. Get out there. And for whatever reason, James Bonnie did not find himself on a pirate crew. We don't know why. I'm thinking, uh the world speculation,

port speculation. Uh you know, maybe he was just like super lazy, Like he shows up like I should to be talking to those people, but I don't want to, you know, Or he's like just maybe he's just bad at introducing himself, like me, Like he shows up to a party and he's like, I don't know anyone here, so I'm just gonna sit and wait for someone to come talk to me, you know. For the opposite, he's like super extrouted eight And then he gets home and as like, who'd you meet And he's like, oh my god,

you know what, I never got their name. I was stupid, Like we had a great time four hours talking about stuff, like, oh man, that guy was fun. That's name. They all said they were leaving in the morning to damn it cute. Yeah right, well whatever happened. He would come back night after night and say, no work today, honey, maybe tomorrow

until later that summer. In seventeen eighteen, Governor Woods Rogers was sent by King George himself with a big old document called the Proclamation for Suppressing of Pirates, also called the Acts of Grace. So Governor Rogers shows up with three warships and he lands in Nasaw and he unrolls this scroll and says here, yeah, here, yeah, listen up, are you stinking, rotten, lousy, cheating pirates? We love you? Why didn't come surrender and agree to work for us?

And then you'll get a full pardon for literally anything you've ever done, including actual murder and plus b Also, if you turn in other pirates who aren't going to surrender, we'll give you cash money. Hundred pounds for a captain, forty pounds for lieutenant or a gunner, and twenty pounds for just a nobody crew member. Twenty pounds for nobody. Yeah right, well, of nobodies, I'm digging up bodies again.

List well. James Bonnie, whose recent get rich quick scheme of Mary, a rich man's daughter, didn't exactly work out, and decided this is a chance for some nice, safe, easy money, and he starts informing on pirates. You could probably guess how that narking went over with Ann. She's like, snitches, get stitches, James, haven't you heard? And she got really irritated with him. She starts hanging out at the pubs herself and having a super fun time with all these

partying pirates. Captain Johnson writes in his book that Anne was quote not altogether so reserved in point of chastity. We can surmise that sometimes a pirate would find his hand up her skirts. She had no qualms about getting busy. Yeah, She'd be like, sure, I mean I'm here to live that pirate life. I'm here for a good time, not a long time that seems to be and whole here, Yeah, whereas James Bonnie is more like, um, what's the safest version of a pirate life I can live? I'd like

a good time and a lot. One colorful fellow in particular started paying an extra attention. His name was John Rackham, otherwise known as Calico Jack, and we'll get to know him right after these merchants pitch you. They're wares and welcome back to the show me hearties. That's such an easy joke. Sorry, but actually be hardies works for Yeah, you all our hearties and hers. Where's that bath towel her hearties, his heartiest alright. Little is known about John

Rackham's early life. He was born sometime in the sixteen eighties. The first recorded fact about him is that he was the quartermaster for a pirate named Charles Vane. Charles Vane was terrible news. He was known for his cruelty to prisoners and his crew alike, including torture and murder. In seventeen eighteen, he actually took the King's pardon. He used this act of grace, only to go back on his word a few months later when he and Calico Jack

returned to pirracy. God, that must have been such a problem for the acts of grace, right, okay, pirate, let me just trust that when you sign this document you'll go with it on your word. Pirates are very good at the words. Yeah. If there's one thing a pirate won't do, it's sign anything to save their own asses and then keep on doing whatever they want to do. Yeah. You know what led me to a life of piracy was surely my honor, and my word as a gentleman, integrity,

the bye word of a pirate. Well, so yeah, they said forget your actor grace by and went back to looting and plundering. And they spent a few days partying with Blackbeard off the coast of North Carolina. Probably a good time, imagine, And then they went back to plundering ships. So, after Captain Vane and Calico Jack and their crew rated a few ships outside New York City. In that area, this huge French man of wars, this ship at least twice the size of Captain Vain's ship, chased them down.

Now Vain ordered a retreat, but Calico Jack said they should fight. He figured they'd not only get like a ton of French riches if they won, but they would also get this huge ass ship. Of the nine crew members, only fifteen supported the captain, but he said, no, my word is vital, and they ran escaping the French warship. But in November of that year, remember these pirate ships are pretty democratic, so for him to go against almost everyone on board is not going to earn him many points.

And John Rackham called a vote and the crew overwhelmingly went in his favor and branded Vain coward and removed him as captain. Calico Jack was put in his place, and he kept their flagship. But he gave Vain a second ship that they had commandeered, and he sent him and the fifteen men who supported him off with a healthy supply of rations and ammunitions. I really appreciate eight that it was so like that was handled better than

our most recent election. Vain was like, I respect the results and I'll take this stuff and go bye bye. So there is some honor among these. Yeah. Yeah. Jack himself wore bright garish colors and patterns. This guy was a stunning site, even for the pirates of the day, and that gave him his nickname Calico Jack. But now finally he was Captain Calico Jack. And Jack had some

ups and downs as a pirate after that. So he captured a large ship called the Kingston and made that their flagship, and it was full of treasure and food, just an awesome hall for a bunch of hungry pirates. But a bunch of merchants saw him capture this ship, and so they hired bounty hunters to get it back. And when Jack and his crew were on shore near Cuba, the bounty hunters snuck up, boarded his ship and sailed

away with it. Man, he woke up like, dude, with my ship, my ship, What a night, the insane night. I was going to remake Dudos my car, but it's just a pirate version, same like Aliens. Yet my sister will like it. She loves that movie. So he probably felt a little sheepish about all that. He and his men are in Cuba. They have just this tiny little boat. They're trying to figure out what in the world they're

supposed to do next. And then a Spanish warship arrived with a smaller English sloop that it had captured standing behind it. And the Spanish saw the pirates small ship and they're like, oh, we can take these guys. Let's capture all these pirates. Good for us, go Spain. But it was low tide so they couldn't attack it yet they had to wait. Their big ship couldn't get close enough to him, so the warship waited until the morning.

But that night Calico Jack and his men took a row boat out to the English sloop, snuck on board quietly overpowered the few Spanish guards that were there, and at dawn the Spanish worship moved towards land and started attacking the pirates old empty ship, having no idea that behind them Calico Jack was sailing away in their English sloop. It's like waving like Princess Diana. Surely good try fellows.

It's such a classic pirate move. Pastos for the ship right totally, um it's it's It is said that Calico Jack is one of the big inspirations for Captain Jack Sparrow in the Paris Caribbean movies, all his colors and everything like that. So this definitely feels like a beat from one of those movies. Definitely speaks in it just takes it while they're not looking. They're all like, bloody pirate. Yeah,

like bloody pirates. I hate pirates. So after this new ship in hand, Calico Jack sailed to NASA and the first person he went to find Governor Woods Rogers what the old boy? And Rogers is like, excuse me, aren't you one of those pirates who signed the Acts of Grace and then went right back to piracy? You know? And Jack is like, oh yo, that was me, that was me. That was definitely me. But you know what,

it weren't me fault. Captain Vane was a real piece of shite and he forced us to be pirates, you know, That's all it was what Wren up to me. I was just a chor maaster. You know. We voted, we said no, but he might just do it anyway. Fortunately, Governor Rogers absolutely hated Captain Vane and he totally bought it. He was like, all right, very well, you can sign

it again, but this time takes the back seas. So Calico Jack and his crew were allowed to stay in NASA and received a full pardon as long as they just agreed to, you know, work for King George and not be pirates anymore. And around this time Jack started hanging around the pubs, getting friendly with the locals, basically doing zero work to actually turn in any pirates. And this is when he met and Bonnie. Oh what do

you think that they're meeting? Was like, mm, I can't decide if she like threw a beer in his face or if someone just laid off shot off a gun and she laughed and he was like hot, yeah, No, do you think it was that or do you think it was like more more of a cute. She ordered

him an ale from across the bar send it to him. Yeah. Yeah, Like she she walks over, she sees him talking to another you know, some some some winch, and she just like reaches down and like just picks up the stool with the woman on it and just moves it to the side and places her down. It was like, how about you talk to me instead there, big boy? Well do you seem very interesting? Yeah? They were totally smitten

with each other. This is exactly the kind of pirate that Anne had always idolized, one who actually does stuff right, exactly like James ain't doing anothering washed up pirate or never even went out, went out to see how do you washed up without ever going out, and she left his garish clothing. She's like, this guy parties and Jack was amazed by this woman who was as sturdy as

a Spanish frigate and packed twice the punch. So they would sneak off together, plunder some booty, very a little treasure sail the old man award to a Carolinian port. How many more pirate sexual you know? You do get what you know? She would hoist his main sail and he would he would guide him, even aavigate himself into her. All right, all right, plunky little rough waters on that one pirate's life. Okay, he'd roll out the cannon. Yeah, he'd roll out the cannon. He'd fire a shot across

her main bow. She's like, Hi, give me one of those colorful rags. He got, gross, bro. And it wasn't long before word of all these puns and what they meant got back to the narc of NASA James Bonnie himself. James, James is pretty upset, and understandably so, that his wife is sleeping with this gaudy pirate. So you know, James like he's he's going to take care of business himself, right, So what does he do. He goes straight to Governor Rogers and tells on them. He tattles about it. He

did his thing he loves doing the most. He's now. Governor Rodgers was furious because James Bonnie was his favorite narc. You know, this is my boy. You can't just disrespect my boy. So he would not stand for adultery, not on his watch. So he ordered an Bonnie to be captured and whipped for infidelity. Now Jack is a grown up, so he decides to do the grown up thing, and he went straight to James Bonnie to speak with him directly.

He's like, look, I know we go off on the wrong peg there, maybe, but uh I do love Anne, and I think maybe you kind of don't. So what do you say? We worked this out and he offered James a big, fat stack of money to divorce her fat stacks and maybe for the first time in James Bonnie's life, he looked at the cash offer right in front of him and said no, and he threatened to

beat up Jack instead speculation station. Jack stifled a laugh at this point, because okay, buddy, So it looked like there was no easy way out of this, and Jack thought about his contract. He thought about working for the English crown, and then he thought about Anne and a life at sea, and he knew what he had to do to protect her. But he knew there would be

no more pardons this time. They said no take sea back, no take sea back seas, but he loved An too much to care, so he assembled a small crew and together with An, they stole a ship and escaped NASA, violating the terms of his pardon, and they were pirates once again. Governor Rogers almost certainly shook his fist in the air and pirates the things we do for love. Oh fun fact, the small ship that they stole in NASA was captained by none other than John ham I love.

This guy's name was Captain John ham It was like and John Hamm probably would play a great version of him. I'd love to see John Hamm as the captain of a pirate ship of pirate sounds like somebody seems more like an admiral to me. I mean, it's a classically handsome face that he has that keeps doing like anything. John Hamm and we bumped into John ham actually recently when we were in Los Angeles, so I had to take your word for it. We were walking in the

park and like I do, was both of everyone's dog. Yeah, we saw this dog and we're like, oh, cute baby baby, and I turned away once the dog was I was, I lost interest and I never looked at the owner. Just as they passed, I glanced up and was like, oh my god, that's John Hamm. And we looked up John Hamm's dog and sure enough that was the dog we saw. And I'm like, if only I looked up. We could have ruined that man's day by bothering him all he's trying to walk his dog. We could really

inconvenience the ship out of John Hammon. But anyway, enough about John Hammon, the other job and Captain John Hamm Remember, okay, that life on a pirate ship is no place for a woman, right and again, you know, whether they thought it was bad luck or just bad form, some pirates were really uncomfortable with Jack bringing Ann in as part of the crew. And so poor little Anne Bonnie, you know this, we last surrounded by all these big, strong men.

I mean, what's she gonna do? One ship made outright refused to sail with a woman on board, so she handled it. Yeah. This guy's like, I'll be a dead man before I work on a ship that's got some disgusting woman on it. It ain't right, it ain't natural. Pretty, Will I challenge you to a fight to the death. Winner gets to stay on board, Loser gets to be dead. Okay, a little lady, I don't want to hurt you too bad, So she's so three. Yeah, legend says Anne stabbed this

guy through the heart and tossed him overboard. And then she was like, if anyone else has anything to say, now's the fucking time channeling or Lucy Lou. And you know, no shipmate ever challenged her. Again. Effective management, That's what Anne's all about, because she's like, I'll make you an example. We won't have this problem again. Exactly. So, with Anne's newfound respect amongst the crew, Captain Calico Jack set sail and spent the next two months sailing the Caribbean and

capturing other ships. Now, Anne usually lived on the ship as a woman. Generally, the consensus is that she typically dressed as a woman on the ship. All the crew members new um, but when they would engage with other ships to avoid I think too much focused directly at her and like raising her risk of being captured or kidnapped or whatever, and would dress as a man. She'd have a loose tunic on and uh like a bandana

covering her hair. But after a few months at sea and got pregnant, and she continued to wear men's clothes and raid ships with Jack and his crew until at a certain point it was just too difficult to hide that baby bump. You know, she was getting on two ships and trying to stand behind a chair every time. She's always carrying a big bag in front of her. She's like carrying a water bottle. She's just always got

a big box something like she has a barrel. That's what it is, a barrel, carrying wrist, hiding her stomach, always in her arms. Well, eventually they sailed to Cuba, where Jack took her ashore. He was a very attentive partner, and he helped her safely deliver their son. Unfortunately, nobody really knows what happened to the baby after this. It's probably a good thing, regardless that they didn't take him with them back to see hard to have a baby

on board? I would say that I think it's pretty easy to say that pirate's life is no place for a baby, right, although we can argue about women, but babies. Although, wouldn't it be great if they hoisted a flag that said baby on board. You know, they were less likely to get attacked, right, Like the English would be like, oh, there's I guess we have to go gentle into that ship. That's a pretty good idea for pirates. I want to go back and give him that idea again, Chinese, I

would disagree as she raised pirates son and then married him. Well, they did not bring the baby with them anyway. Unsure exactly what happened. Revailing theories are that he was either adopted out or maybe even left on a wealthy person's doorstep, or possibly Jack himself had family in Cuba, some other Rackham's, and he left the baby with them. Whatever happened, Calico Jack and a Bonnie returned to See to continue their pie a life. For a while, they were really successful pirates.

Governor Rogers published a list of wanted pirates. It was published in the Boston Newsletter, which was the New world only continuously published newspaper up until seventy six, when the Boston Gazette started. In the publication, it listed John Rackham, a k A. Calico Jack, as well as Anne Bonnie. So their fame was growing. Okay, do you think that's like street cred? Like I got my name in the newspaper. Oh yeah, they want me. Well, whenever there's like an outlaw,

they're always like, yeah, here's my wanted poster. And then they get mad about how much the ransom is. Yeah, should be more, don't they know I took John Hamm's Come on, he's an American treasure. He's a madman. I wish it was Captain Madman John Hamms Speculation Station. John Hamm's nickname was Madman's Please. So yeah, Eddie, Eddie rate. Their fame is really growing. Um. But this caught the attention of the privateer and pirate hunter Jonathan Barnett. And

this is a little bit of a side story. But it is just too hot to let it walk on by with at least saying hello. So let's take a quick fling with history, slow them on down. Jonathan Barnett had been commissioned by the Governor of Jamaica, Lord Archibald Hamilton's very Jamaican name is British Jamaica. He brought the jerk to the chickens anyway, So Old Archie had brought him to Jamaica to hunt down pirates and bring back

as many alive as possible. And his contract came with the condition that he quote not, on any pretense, commit any acts of hostility on any of his Majesty's allies, neutrals, friends, or subjects. Okay, so like stay in your lane. Yeah, Like we're hiring you to hunt pirates, don't you go out there and start stealing stuff or beating anybody else because he's a privateer, like he doesn't really work for anyone. Yeah, well Captain Kidd had this problem. He was a pirate hunter.

But hunting a pirate looks a lot like being a pirate, and often your crew is made of pirates. So then they democratically decided to become pirates again, and then you're fucked. So it's so very Yeah, they're sure, they were like, well, at least write it down. So they're gone up, but at least we have some presidents to be had. But

in seventeen fifteen, a really tempting opportunity came up. The seventeen fifteen Treasure Fleet was a fleet of eleven Spanish ships that were returning to Spain from the New World, loaded with silver, gold, and artifacts. But they sailed straight into a hurricane and all eleven ships were destroyed. Records state that nearly fift hundred sailors died, while a handful

survived in lifeboats. I'm imagining that the indigenous people that Spain just took all this treasure from we're pretty excited that a hurricane came through, and they're like, yeah, our prayers were answered. Think very much like we still lost all our treasure. Would be nice if we had that, but at least we sunk those ships. Let that be a lesson to you. And the Spanish never bothered the

indigenous people again. Wrong, Well, all this treasure being flattened out in the sea really attracted the attention of well basically everybody. Sure. A bunch of pirates and privateers went straight for the wreckage as soon as they got word and started attacking the survivors and snatching up treasure. This of course included Jonathan Barnett, who was totally violating the

terms of his contract here. But Governor Hamilton's initially blamed Barnett's raid on another privateer entirely named Henry Jennings, like maybe he was trying to protect his guy, his asset um and blamed it on somebody else. And when the Spanish discovered that it was actually Barnett, and they presumed that the Jamaican governor was covering for him, they accused Governor Hamilton's of consorting with pirates, and Barnett turned right

around and testified to that exactly. He totally threw Hamilton's under the bus basically saying, oh, yes, he totally covered for us pirates. We sure are pirates out here steal the treasure and he definitely lied to get us out of it and that, but that got him a pardon

for turning on him. So Governor Hamilton's was sent back to England and replaced by Peter Heywood, who said, quote, had not commissions been granted, which were given out on the pretext of suppressing piracy, these unhappy disorders would not have been committed. So he's He's like, if we hadn't be He's like, don't don't hire pirates and then expect them not to be pirates. Come on, guys. Heywood was replaced by a new governor who reinstated Barnett's contract and

he was back at sea hunting pirates again. I guess they're not very good at background check, said this. He's like, this guy sounds good. His resume is full of experience. Apparently works for this other governor. I'm a governor. This is going to work out great. Just sign right here, trustworthy. So Barnett was at sea tracking down the notorious Calico Jack and a Bonnie, but the two of them were about to make a new friend who would prove to be just as cunning and ruthless as the best of

their crew. And we will find out more about that right after this and welcome back to the show. Matie's throw something in there. So Calico Jack and a Bonnie continued to sail, plunder and grow their pirate crew, and one night they captured a ship. As was customary in the pirate code of conduct, Calico Jack offered those who survived a position on his ship. Only a couple of

the crew spoke English, so Jack kept them. He sent the others on their way after looting their ship, of course, also part of the pirate code of con I will Calico Jack very much a guy who was like I will happy. I'm not going to kill anyone who doesn't put up a fight. If you don't want to join my crew, you do not have to. I will, however, be taking everything you have. Um, I'll leave you a barrel of apples and you guys can go on your

marry way, good luck, Thanks for everything. One of these news ship mates was a young man named Mark, and he caught Anne's attention despite Jack's devotion to her. You know, Anne's got a history of a bit of a wandering eye. She likes variety in her bedroom, and this Mark guy is like really giving her vibes. He's boyish but tough, quiet but a strong sailor, and even caught him glancing at her a few times once he integrated into the

crew and she revealed herself to be a woman. So she's like, I think Mark is picking up whatever I'm putting, so let me go ahead and put them down. So Anne found Mark alone one night and started coming on to him, but Mark was resistant. He kept mumbling that Anne and the captain had like a thing going on. Everybody knows it, so he didn't want to get in trouble.

Hands like, don't worry about him, don't you want me? Yeah, And Mark says like, oh, well, you know you're you're very pretty, but you know I'm you know, I'm just I'm saving myself for someone. You know, they'll never know we pirates do this kind of thing all the time. Is totally cool. Oh boy, Okay, well you know you know what, Actually I just had sex, so I don't think I can get it up actually, so you know,

maybe another time you let me worry about that. And then so Anne gets real close to Mark, and she starts putting her hands on him, and Mark gets all anxious, and finally he pushes her away and he blurts out, no, I'm a lady. And she ripped open her loose shirt and revealed two big old honking boobies, and couldn't believe that she fell for the very disguise that she herself had been wearing this whole time. You know, a loose shirt, pants right, foiled again by pants. She's like, wow, people

really do see what they want to see. True true. Mark's real name was Mary Reid, and she and Anne actually had a lot in common. Mary Reid's mother had married a sailor and gave birth to a son, but her husband, the sailor, vanished at sea shortly after the boy was born. The mother was getting financial support from her late husband's mother to help raise the child, but soon after that the woman became pregnant again, and her young son died of illness while she was pregnant with

her second child. So the woman was now worried that her mother in law was going to stop sending her money now that her grandson was dead. Right, So the woman kept her second pregnancy a secret, and when she gave birth to her daughter, Mary, she raised her as a boy in boy's clothes, and the mother in law totally bought it. She thought that it was the same kit, you're a bit shorter than her. So Mary and her mother lived on this inheritance well into Mary's teen years.

But you know, when she had a teenager, it was a little harder to disguise. The mother in law figured it out that this was not her grandson, that her grandson had in fact died many years earlier, and she had been supporting her unrelated daughter, you know, all these many years, and so she completely cut them off financially. I'm sure she was so. I mean, would you not be humiliated that somebody had perpetuated an insane con like that over years? Like that is a crazy game. For

Mary's mom was bland. She kept that story more air tight than William Cormick did. Very true. He was not good at hiding, you know, the identity. He was very brash about being open about like, no, this is my maid and this is our kid, that's true, or his dumb story he came up, but it's my relative son. Yeah, for no reason, I know, your family. I'm not Come on, man, give me a little credit. Mary's mother a bit more savvy. Yeah. Sure,

so their con got busted wide open. You know, they didn't have the mother in law's money coming in anymore. But Mary and her mother both found life easier if she continued to pretend to be a boy. She managed to find work as a footboy opening carriage doors for rich people. What a job, man, You know, nobody wants to work anymore jobs that have been lost, you know, because we got ready Aristotle automation. You know, used to be somebody's job to open your door for you. There's

a handle, comple yourself, get out of here. Eventually, still disguised, Mary Reid found her way into the British military. She was a strong and capable soldier, and eventually she met and fell in love with a Flemish soldier. Revealed to him that she was a woman, and he said, great. That means we can do it in secret a lot, but it is, Karen Abbott writes in Smithsonian Magazine. Quote, Mary replied, with no apparent irony, that she was a

reserved and proper lady. That for the fact that I'm dressing like a man and pretending to be a sailor in the army. I mean, I'm a proper lady. So he agreed to marry her. She quit the army. She revealed her true identity to their regiment and they were wed. And when they're fellow soldiers saw that she'd been a woman this whole time. They we're so happy for that, like amazing, How this is the best story I've ever heard.

I always thought you two were perfect for each other, and now that I know you're a woman, it's like even better, Like, oh my god. Cool. The gifts come rolling in. Mary and her husband are able to buy a small inn called the Three Horse Shoes in the Netherlands, and they did well for themselves, pretty good. Mary sadly, though, her husband passed away shortly after, and Mary decided that

she was going to re enter the military. But the problem was there was no war going on, so she was kind of bored and there was no room for advancement because you know, officers weren't getting killed off, nobody had an opportunity to get themselves promoted, so it's like you're pretty much stuck where you're at. So she decided to hop a ship for the West Indies to make her life there as a sailor. But it was the golden age of piracy, and it wasn't long before her

ship was raided by pirates. Boarded, and likely still disguised as a boy. She was probably given the choice to either die or join. They weren't all as friendly as Calico Jack, so she joined the pirate crew, and she sailed with them for a short while before she was rated by none other than Calico Jack and eventually found herself watching and Bonnie try to seduce her in the middle of the night, and that catches us up to

where we were. Abbott suggests that the stress and poor diet Mary endured while working with the army may have interrupted or paused her menstrual cycle, which is very common. This is one of the ways women at sea had an easier time hiding their identities. So of course it's hard to hide once a month's like bloody rags, right right, I guess maybe not on pirate just like you hide it like in your boobs, and then you go on a raid, you just like throw it like, oh, this

guy died on top of these rags. I guess. Also, like most of the men on these ships were actually pretty. They were like in their teens early twenties. It wasn't uncommon for them to have no facial hair, so that was another thing helped keep the secret. And of course the loose clothing and baggy pants neutralize everyone's anatomy, so not not hard. I guess that's not too bad. So

Anne and Mary became like best friends immediately. Obviously they kindred spirits, right, but Mary continued to hide her identity as Mark. Then Calico Jack starts seeing Anne hanging around with his Mark guy all the time, and they seem to be getting along or real well, and he starts to get a little jealous. One day, he busts in on them and he's like, listen, here on the captain, here's don't you be sleeping with my lover or all. Rip your gouts out, slit your throat and feed at

a kracking. And Anne and Mary just like stare at him for a second and then bust out laughing. Mary pops open her shirt again showed her boobies, and you know, Jack, I imagine, Jack, I imagine it's got to be like, Okay, how many of my sailors are actually women? Every one, line up and take your clothes off. Now I'm looking at everything this time, but neutralized as jealousy. I guess.

The three of them became besties, and it has been rumored that there was another relationship going on with Anne and Mary, um that they had, you know, a physical relationship with each other, but there's zero evidence anywhere to suggest that that is true. In fact, Mary started checking up with another male pirate on the ship who wasn't nearly as tough as she was. How how do they

step down, you know, from themselves? Oh yeah, well, you know, they probably didn't have many options because they were so damned tough. Everyone with him a treat Yeah exactly. So yeah, So she's with this dude. He's a bit weaker than her. One day, he's challenged to a duel, but Mary knew her lover would lose, so and she picked a fight with his duellist herself and kicked his ass. Don't be She's like, don't be picking on my boyfriend. The ship out of here. I mean, that'd be pretty cool for

that pirate too. He's like, don't you take another step near me, or I'll tell my girlfriend she'll kick your rests she's very scary. So Mary and Anne were two of the most ruthless pirates on the ship, and Calico Jack and his crew went on a two month spree. They captured a ship in October seventeen twenty called the Revenge and made that their flagship. It's rumored that Calico Jack himself designed the skull and crossbones flag that we know today as the Jolly Roger. That's probably untrue, but

it's more fun this way, so go with me. They say that was probably written by this German poet in like ninete um, and it's just kind of spawned the rumor and now everybody thinks so and there's a bunch of storians and they're like, that's so ridiculous because nothing ever just and I'm like, shut up, come on, Yeah, let's say he invented it. Same with the same with Anne and Mary's romance, you know, so true. It's like, yeah,

come on. They probably had a little atlay. They had a polycule like at least one time, because we know anything goes at sea is the rule from our Coliford and John Swanna. The men were often getting their sexual gratification from other men on board right, and they did not consider it to be a homosexual thing at all. It was just like, what's available, Okay, that's what I'm doing. Um,

it's totally cool. So I feel like, I mean, at least and you get bored, right chilling, you get drunk from and you're like, I don't know, let's try it one time. Why not speculation station, They tried to at least one time. Let's take it all wrapped up in the jolly Roger Yeah exactly. He's like, that's actually my sex flag. I wonder if he named the flag after Governor Rogers. He's like, this is your skull, asshole. He would not like that. So anyway, they're crushing this pirate game.

And soon they captured the ship of Captain Thomas Spendlow and took in one of their best hauls to date. A ton of stuff off that ship, tobacco and food and gold and all kinds of fun ship. And shortly after that, they I guess, took a step down. They

seized a canoe. Look you gotta. I mean, the truth of the matter is most of who they were raiding were like small fishing boats, right, Like they were not always going up against these big you know, treasure ships, like more often than not, they were just stealing food and supplies off of fishing boats. And then not to last like another day, yea, And they found this canoe and captured a woman on board who was named Dorothy Thomas.

Now Anne and Mary were both pretty ruthless about killing hostages, and you know, Jack, like we said, it was more of the kind of guy would be like if you can either join us or get the hell out of here. And Mary and Anne insisted that the crew killed Dorothy Thomas,

but Calico Jack overruled them and let her go. Well sure enough, a few days later, our old friend, the pirate hunter Jonathan Barnett, was skulking around Jamaica trying to pick up leads as to where Calico Jack could be, and he bumped into a woman who claimed to have been captured by him. This was Dorothy Thomas, and she gave him a lead and Barnett headed out in pursuit.

Jack and his crew had gotten kind of cocky with all these recent wins they were having, and they decided that night they were going to hang out in Negril Bay, which is now known as Bloody Bay. And they just partied all night. They had all this wine that they had stolen off a ship recently, and they were just jugging it by the bottle, acting crazy and foolish. Oh yeah right. They raised the Jolly Roger and just a

bunch of bad decisions. While Anne and Mary saw these pirates acting like drunken idiots, and they decided, you know what, we're going to keep our wits about us, and they handled their liquor and they stayed pretty uh, pretty conscious of what was going on around them. They warned the pirates to stay savvy and keep a lookout, but all the men didn't listen. Late that night, Barnett's ships sailed into the bay, heard the pirates revelry, and waited until morning.

Around ten am, Barnett sailed close to the Revenge and raised a British flag, demanding that Jack and his crew surrender a calico. Jack woke up with a miserable hangover. His crew starts rising with him, and they're grumbling. They're probably swearing they'll never drink again my kingdom for a raw egg or whatever, Right, yeah, a bloody Mary and

Mary's like not yet. But even with their thick heads, Jack went to the side of the ship and shouted back they would never surrender, so Barnett fired a warning shot across the ship's bow, and Jack said, Okay, I'm too hungover for this. Everybody down into the hold. We're gonna hide. That's my big plane. We'll never surrender. Never mind, Oh you have cannons. Sorry, you know, I'm really not in the mood for this today. Can break up? Ready to party? All right? Yeah? Of course, Anna Marry are

like fucking hide. This is a ship man. There's a limited number of places for them to search, just like dozens of people here. I think that Barnett's gonna get over here and be like, oh, don't look under that pile of sails that's moving around mumbling softly, and I think it just vomited underneath. I see a foot, but probably unrelated. Yeah, Like they're just gonna get on board and be like, I guess nobody's here. Well let's leave. Then that's so weird. Someone would leave this boat here

all by itself. Must be a ghost ship. Well we better leave. Don't want to disturb the ghosts after all. But no, Mary and Anne decide they're going to have to defend the ship. Themselves. Mary allegedly stood over the hold and shouted down, if there's a man among you, you'll come up and fight like the mania to be. When they refused to come up, Pps writes that she shouted, quote dogs if instead of these weaklings, I only had some women with me, and she fired a single shot

into the hold, killing one of the crewmen. Damn, she's like a better and dead pirate, one who won't fight. You're useless. Bang. With machetes in one hand and pistols in the other, Mary, Reid and and Bonnie stood their ground and defended the ship as Barnett's men boarded, they thought viciously, but eventually, of course they were overpowered. No one else was fighting with them, right, yeah, just the

two of them. Now, the two women, Calico Jack, and all the crew were, you know, uncovered from their hiding spots. They opened all the barrels, come on out. Kind of here. They were all arrested and sent to trial in Jamaica. Now with plenty of witnesses and having twice violated the Acts of Grace Pardon. At this point, Calico Jack's trial was quick and simple. You know, they're basically Calico Jack guilty,

You're done, goodbye. He was sentenced to be executed by hanging, and his final request was to see his love and one more time, and the judge allowed it. Yeah, I mean Jack, you know, he he really went out of his way for an a lot. Yeah, he violated the acts of Grace for her. He took her a Cuba and helped her deliver her baby. You know, like this guy really looked out for her. So he was brought to the cell where she and Mary Reid were being held. He walked up to the bars, tearful but happy to

see his love again. She approached her lover and Captain took his hands through the bars, looked him in the eyes and said, quote, if you had fought like a man, you need not have been hanged like a dog. Damn damn girl. Ice coll probably then did like a take him away, get him out of my sight, which is a bit of a blow for old Jack. Yeah. But you know, but breaking and was very clear that's like you're either a pirate or you're not. That's right. You know, I wonder if you know it hurt, But he was

secretly like, that's my girl, that's my girl. Girl. Take the girl out of the pirate ship. But I can't take the pirate at the girl, right, So that was their final words to each other. The guards hauled him off to be hanged. John Calico Jack Rackham was executed on November seventy and his body was hanged on a gibbet near the entrance to Port Royal as a warning to other pirates. The island is now called Rackham's Key

after the Dread Pirates. Ten days later, Mary and Anne went to trial and they immediately pled not guilty to all charges. I'm thinking they were probably just like, you know, oh, we're doll We're just two ladies who got caught up with these pirates. You know, what can we do. We're just feeble women, like we couldn't handle. Then we had to do whatever they said. We were just hanging out

trying to bring bad luck. Actually, then you're welcome, welcome that we were there because we made the water really like upset for whatever. So it seemed like a reasonable enough excuse to the judge. But then the star Wness came in and Mary and Anne were like so pissed, their shagging their heads because they knew this was coming. The Star witness was Dorothy Thomas, the woman from the canoe, the one they said they should execute. I knew I

should have killed that bit. While Dorothy Thomas testified that quote, they each wall men's jackets and long trousers and handkerchiefs tied about their heads. Each of them had a machette and a pistol in their hands, and they cursed and swore at the men to murder me, which they did. She also said that she knew that they were two women, quote from the largeness of their breasts. Oh my god,

thank you. They are pretty big. But Dorothy's testimony pretty much got Marry and Ann their guilty sentence, and they were sentenced to be hanged. But wait. Anne cried to the judge, I the belly, which sounds crazy, but it meant that she was pregnant, and Mary stood up to like, oh me too, I'm almost so pregnant. I've got the belly. And it turned out to be true. Both of them

actually were pregnant. I mean, they were doing everything that you needed to do, so their executions were stayed and they were kept in prison so that they could have, you know, their baby. Tragically, Mary Read died in April the following year of a terrible fever, possibly related to her pregnancy, and there's no record of whether or not she had given birth before she died, or she died while she was pregnant, or any We don't really have any information about that. As for Anne, her fate is

a mystery to this day. Captain Johnson writes, quote, she was continued in prison and reprieved from time to time. But what has become of her since we cannot tell only this we know that she was not executed. Some believe that her wealthy father, Old Williams Silver Spoons Cormick, stepped in and got her released from prison, which says to me that maybe she did not burn his plantation to the ground. Maybe father, we love Maybe it's like like a succession thing, like I'll save you from this

and now I own you forever. Very true. Now that's that's a controlling thing too, You're right, or he was just like you're my daughter, I love you. Encyclopedia Britannica says that she returned to the Carolina's, married, had children, and lived to the ripe old age of eighty two. Probably wanted to tell James Bonnie see I got a good time and a long time. You gotta do it Anne's way, and Ways sang that after they raided a ship,

you gotta do it An's way, Ann's way. If we killed the canoe lady, I'd be okay, amazing, Oh, Dorothy Thomas, damn real, Karen, I'm just kidding. I'm she was really scary to be raided in a canoe, like you like, you can't even get on this ship without capsizing me. Yeah, she just gets almost executed, like threatened with a knife to worth throat probably, and then goes and tells on them for it, Like, come on, this story is full of tattle tales. Well you know there was a lot

of money in it at the time. True. True. Oh man, Wow, what an adventure. I love it. I love this story. Yeah. Nothing like drama on the high seas, seriously, And you know you cut out the months, well weeks in between where there's just nothing going on. You know, they always talk about like and then the next over the next

two months, they rated a ton of ships. They're really successful pirates, And I'm like, so they were probably like you know, two months span like four raids right right, like with each with like two weeks of quiet sailing where they're just having orgies. Oh yeah, exactly, that's when they try the polycue out smelly stinky orgies hard pass. But I have been really wanting to get into reading about black Beard because it's such a renowned pirate. But

apparently it was only a pirate like two years. Yeah, you don't have a very long career. Um, so you must have done a lot to get so infamous in a short period of time, especially when your life consists of a lot of inactivity, right, Um, so that the activity must be your royal insane. Yeah, it's very just like it's like, uh, oh weird. I'm gonna make a

sports metaphor. It's like football where it's just like really high intensity and then stop and we're quiet for a while, and then really high intensity and then we stop work quiet for a while. But that's probably why you know, black Beard met up with Calico, Jack and Vain and they just like partied for a few nights. Um, They're like I'm not doing anything, which is nothing great. Yeah.

And also black Beard, I don't I don't think we'll end up with a story of his on this show, but I did read under this that you know, look, we love black Beard on our flag means death, but black Beard was actually one of the people allegedly who was notorious for if there was a woman on his ship, he would strangle her and throw her overboard. Damn. Yeah, so not not a fun guy. That That version is

much more fun than the real life version. Tega is great at playing the worst people in the most lovable way. I know, because he was Hitler and Jojo Rabbit, you know, yeah, at least he was like an imaginary version that helped. I think it was like an actual Hitler, it would have been way less. Yeah, that movie is so good though. Anyway, we're here for Pirates. UM, super fun story and I just I love this these kind of adventures these guys lived again. We cannot totally claim this story as total

nonfiction because it's definitely been embellished. There's a lot of conflicting accounts about how this went down. These people all definitely existed. Um, A lot of these adventures probably really happened in terms of the ships they rated, the success that they had and uh and their romance. Um. But obviously it colored up a bit by Captain Johnson and many other authors through history, but the legal rectord records do exist. There's a whole published book called the Trial

of John Rackham. Um that is the notes from the trial. Uh so you know it was. It was the seventeen hundred. It's not like they weren't writing stuff down at this time. So as embellished as it is, this is still we would say a true story. Yeah, when you're such a colorful characters like pirates, Yeah, your stories are going to get embellished, right right, But but they don't need that

much embellishing either, because you just are doing crazy stuff. Yeah. Anyway, so it's like, well I threw an an extra murder or two, most of it is. Yeah, I was gonna say, it's like, um, in terms of pirate stories, this one feels like probably had the most of the actual romanticized pirate stuff we think of today in it. I mean, the colorful characters, all the fun partying, you know, the successful raids. You know, not too many people murdered disguised ladies. Yeah,

not too many people, right enough. Yeah, and a bunch of a bunch of angry British governors shaking their fists at pirates for like just giving them the old slip damn it. Yeah, I love it. I love it. I hope you loved it too. Yeah, it's really too bad that we couldn't come to you with a story about the lesbian pirates Mary Read and a Bunny. I was really looking forward to that. Yeah, um, but there's just

not enough evidence to support it. Not that they were writing down like last night, you know what I did with Mary. But as I say, I think it's pretty safe to assume that at least one time they were a little curious and they were like, let's give it a work, and if they liked it at all, then they at least had some threesome scours through in another pirate here and there, just fun, right, I can see it, right, I would see it. What I'm saying is I would

watch that. Yeah, they would call in other pirates sometimes, you know. It'd be like Mary Ann, Mary's boyfriend and Calico Jack and they're having a good time and Anne looks up and she's like, get get get all long bones Johnson, Get all long Johnson, Johnson in here some fun long Johnson Johnson's pirate name. Mary. I'm gonna lay on top of you. Let's see if he can do us both at the same time. No, for that one, we need old Peter to Johnson's Johnson called the wrong Johnson.

Oh well, I guess you can both come if I'm doing my job right, you can. Oh boy, we get it. Better get out of here before it gets too hot board this vessel. Oh man, Well, thank you so much for tuning in. Everybody. If you like this show, please say ahoy. Yeah. We have many ways for you to get in touch with us, including our email, which is ridic Romance at gmail dot com. That's right. You can stand on the bow of the ship and wave some semaphore flags or flash one of those lanterns and we

will respond in kind. Or you can find us on Twitter and Instagram. I'm at Oh great, it's Eli. I'm at Dynamite Boom, And of course the show is at ridic Romance. And don't forget to leave us a nice review on Apple Podcasts, right. It helps people find the show or they decide to listen to it, so you let them know what you think. Tell him the unvarnished truth. Good. Thanks for tuning in, y'all, and we will catch you later this week. I Love you by so long friends,

it's time to go. Thanks so listening to our show. Tell your friends names. Uncle's in to listen to a show ridiculous on Dans