An Ode to A Sex Toy & Lament for Limp D**ks: The Bawdy Poems of John Wilmot

dirty poems, ghost sex, you know, alien fornication. You can't find this stuff anywhere else. We don't think until the format changes. We're just gonna keep going with this one, which is a show where we talk about our r R, which we saw again the other No, we won't. We won't get into it, but it's so good rewatch risible. But yeah, let's just get on with our show. Yeah.

In our last episode, we told you all all about the lusty life of John Wilmot, the second Earl of Rochester, like all the times that he piste off the king um, how he abducted his future wife and then disguised himself as a gynecologist to treat infertility, and we shared with you a few of his infamous poems, including our new favorite regime d Vive. But we did want to dive into some of his longer poems, so we decided to

dedicate an episode to a John Wilmot poetry corner. So we'll perform for you a poem about premature ejaculation, another one where an old libertine kind of reflecting on his younger debauch days, not with regret but rather with the hope of inspiring future generations to you, and filth ther deeds and his name. And finally, a full reading of Senior Dildo, which was Wilmot's poem about the gentleman from

Italy that all the ladies are falling in love with. Finally, so we hope you enjoyed these poems as much as we do. Come on down to poetry corner. Let's go, Hey the French, come listen well, Eli and Diana got some stories to tell. There's no match making, a romantic tips. It's just about ridiculous relationships, a lover. It might be

any type of person at all. And abstract cons at our concrete wall but if there's a story, we're the second Glance show, Ridiculous Romance, a production of I Heart Radio. Hey everybody, before we get started, we made a little slip up in the last episode. Uh, and we got a correction in in time to fix it. So let's go put ourselves in corrections corner. You're such a loser, that's right. Ruth Dempsey on Instagram reached out to say

first that she really loved the John Wilmot episode. But we were talking in one part about a famous diarist who had kind of written down the account of John abducting his future wife and his name. We called him Samuel Pepys, but actually it's pronounced Samuel Peeps, which is so much better. Perfect. What a perfect name for a guy who's snooping on everybody. Okay, I was like anything Samuel Peeps he writes in his diary, So I feel like people should say that everywhere they talk about him.

Don't let Samuel peep you. Everyone's going to know. So thank you Ruth for that correction, because I was a truly much better, much better name. I'm so excited that we're doing this filthy poetry episode a ken so many of you have written in and told us that the Barongier of the long Asshole is one of your favorite episodes, where we just spent a long time reading that that old dirty poem medieval fabulous. It's so fun to do.

I never thought of thought that I would be reading poetry to people, but this is this is definitely the format and the subject material. But it should be for me true. And I mean again, I think I said this in the in our last episode. Why was this not the main focus of my English degree? Seriously, I feel like if you just had body poetry one oh one, it would be full. It would be full every semester,

right for real, And we'll read through it. We'll we'll stop and talk about it along the way, because it's not gonna go like our typical poetry corner here. But our first poem here is fairly self explanatory. John Wilmot wrote about a guy who is disappointed that his premature ejaculation is preventing him from having you know, full on

sexy times with his lady friend. Damn old penis they Well, it reminds me of the Reddit episode we read about people's worst sexual experiences and the girl said that guy just started screaming at his dick in front of her when it wouldn't work. Yes, and she had to sneak out. But this is like a classier version of that, much classier. If that guy had been a renowned poet, Yes, you might have gotten something like this, because John Wilmot clearly felt that if you're gonna yell at your dick, it

might as well rhyme. So let's hear John Wilmot, the second Earl of Rochester's The Imperfect Enjoyment. Naked, she lay clasped in my longing arms. I filled with love, and she all over charms, both equally inspired with eager fire, melting through kindness, flaming and desire. With arms, legs, lips close, clinging to embrace, she clips me to her breast and

sucks me to her face. Her nimble tongue loves lesser lightning blade within my mouth and to my thoughts conveyed swift orders that I should prepare to throw the all dissolving thunderbolt below. Damn this guy, I mean, this is one hottest description about to have sex. My fluttering soul sprung with a pointed kiss, hangs hovering over her balmy

brings the bliss. But whilst her busy hand would guide that part which should convey my soul up to her heart in liquid raptures, I dissolve all our mountain too sperm, and spend at every pore a touch from any part of her had done her hand, her foot, Her very looks a country. There's nothing funny premature ejaculation unless it's written out like this, and that it's hilarious. Smiling, she chides in a kind murmuring noise, and from her body

wipes the clammy choice. When with a thousand kisses wandering or my panting bosom is there then no more? She cries all this to love and raptures do must we not pay a debt to pleasure too? She's like, I know you finished, but there's more we can do, right, I wonder? She's like, you know you could do some things for me, but I the most forlorn, lost man alive.

To show my wish to obedient spainly strive, I sigh, alas and kiss, but cannot swive eager desires confound my first intent succeeding, shame does more success prevent, and rage at last confirms me. Impotent. That's when you can't get out of it because you're so mad. I know he's like I just I love it. He's really filling in, Like all all the moments, very evocative and accurate. I imagine, not that you would, No, I wouldn't know. It happens

to lots of guys, I'm sure. But even her fair hand, which might bid heat return to frozen age and make cold hermits burn, applied to my dear cinder warms no more than fire to ashes could pass flames restored, trembling, confused, despairing, limber, dry, a wishing, weak, unmoving luve by life, This dart of love, who's piercing point oft tried with a virgin blood, ten thousand maids has died, which nature still directed with such

art that it through every count, reached, every heart, stiffly resolved. Twould carelessly invade woman or man, nor ought its fury staid where'er it pierced a count it found or made? Now languid lies in this unhappy hour, shrunk up in sapless like a withered flower. Thou treacherous base, deserter of my flame, false to my passion, fatal to my fame through what mistaken magic? Dost thou prove so true to lewdness, so untrue to love? What oyster, cinder beggar common? Or

didst thou e'er fail in all thy life before? When vice, disease, and scandal lead the way? With what officious haste, dost thou obey? Like a rude, roaring hector in the streets, who scuffles, cuffs and jestles all he meets. But if his king or country claim his aid, the rake hell villain shrinks and hides his head. Even so thy brutal valor is displayed breaks if stew does each small horror invade, But when great love the onset does command base recreant

to thy prince, thou darest not stand. It's like, you know, all the times that you've been taken charge, all the boners I've gotten in crowds blows, and you're ready to go. Yeah right, But I got the love of my life trying to impress her. You got nothing. Come on, man, stupid dick, he's not done. Worst part of me and henceforth hated most through all the town, a common fucking post on whom each horror relieves her tingling count as

hogs on gates do rub themselves and grunt. May'st thou to ravenous chances be a prey or in consuming weepings waste away. May Strangerry and stone thy days attend, mayst thou never piss, who didst refuse to spend when all my joys did on falsely depend? And may ten thousand abler pricks agree to do the wronged Corinna right for thee. I mean, he's straight up like, I hope, Penis, I hope you never pee again. Oh God, for your betrayal of me, he says, May strangry and stone thy Day's attend.

Strangry's a condition caused by blockage or irritation at the base of the bladder, makes your dick really hurt. So he's literally wishing, and I think stone like kidney stones. I think he's wishing pain u t eyes and kidney stones on his own day as punishment for its behavior. And then he's like, I hope that Corinna finds ten thousand Penis is better than you so that she can get some I like, in my mind, he's telling this

in front of her. Yeah, He's like, I just want you to know how mad I am at my dick too. It's not me, it's him worst part of me. It's the little Earl of Rochester, the little Earl I love it. Can you imagine if that girl and read it was like and then the guy was like worst part of me and henceforth hated most. I feel like she would have been like, Okay, she might have stuck around. Let me hear this, not run out the door. Let's hear more.

That ship is hilarious. Sorry, that is so funny to me. Yeah, poetry, man, it's it's incredible. You can do things with language never thought possible. You couldn't do that in pros. You couldn't convey that emotion. And although if you've got an example feeling to be corrected. All right, Well, we have so much more to get to. Uh so let's take a quick break and we will be right back with another John Wilmot poetry corner. Welcome back, you filthy poetry lovers.

So yeah, John Wilmot's most famous poem is a stature against reason and mankind, and it's very long and it's not really body. So we were kind of like not going to read that one for you too. It's not a love poem and there's no dicks in it, so it doesn't really fit with the show. It's true, but I did just want to throw out there that it is really a great poem to check out and read. It's probably the greatest insight into John Wilmot's personality and

life life philosophy. I guess, like what he really believed about the world. It's like his full argument about how reason and rationality is being um two lauded or ap appreciated over your senses and your joy and your bodily desires and stuff like that kind of reminded me of Walt Whitman's song of Yourself that way. Yeah, definitely very different, very different, but still like kind of a similar feeling

about the world. I guess, well, when we talked to about for nervous poetry readers out there, or if you're not as familiar about how accessible his poetry is because he doesn't touch everything in metaphor, it's really easy to read. I think it's true. Like he he has a great line where he says his wisdom did his happiness destroy aiming to know the world he should enjoy that speaks to me so hard. I thought, I feel I was like,

Eli will like this poem. I think because at times you really do do that, you get caught so caught up in understanding things. It can really I think it can depress you. It kind of takes the magic out of life a little bit. And I'm a I'm a pragmatic you know, science leaning pers and where I do want to know a lot of answers and reasons and stuff like that, but sometimes just gotta, you know, let this guy be blue, who cares why? I know he well?

And that's kind of part of the poem. Is John Wilmot is like I would argue that there is a reasoning that I respect very much, and it's kind of animal reasoning. Whereas you're going too far, like you're you're doing too much. Here's a good stanza to describe that. He says, quote your reason hinders mine helps enjoy renewing appetites. Yours would destroy My reason is my friend. Yours is

a cheat. Hunger calls out my reason, bids me to eat. Perversely, yours, your appetite does mock this asks for food that answers what's a clock? This plain distinction, sir, your doubt secures tis not true reason I despise, but yours. And I thought that was really cool because he's just talking about how he's like, I would rather be a beast than a man, because beasts are ruled by rules that make sense to me, and y'all are talking at best, no nonsense.

It sounds to me like he's sick of pedantic people, you know. I immediately thought of of John Mulaney's thing about the sleepover his friends, Like, well, technically it's not it's tomorrow because it's after midnight. Take your sleeping bag, get the funk out of my house. That is such a good joke we say all the time, all the time, every time, every time somebody's too pedant, take up, Like really, actually, it's like this, take your sleep in bed and get

the funk out of my house. And it must be said, sometimes that person is me sometimes, because I can be a little I like it. I like a precise definition. Look, just because many a joke has been crushed under the weight of recent right. Well, that's why I always said my stand If I ever did stand up, my stand up special will be called buzz kill. And I would talk about how many jokes I ruined, because I'm like,

that's that pertically accurate. Uh. This poem also kind of shows his cynicism off a little bit because he talks a lot, and this was another thing I thought would resonate with you, Eli, he talks a lot about. He's like, please tell me about one single person on this earth who puts other people's interests before his own or before his families, who actually cares about strangers or his country

over himself. Um. He's kind of like, the way the world is, the way society is built because of your rationality, this thing you're so proud of. You have to be an asshole to get ahead. And so if you're not an asshole, you're not a good person. Or you know, people don't help you out. They just leave you in the dust. So he's like, if you can prove to me that I'm wrong, I will take back everything that I just said. But until then, I maintain animals are

smarter than men. Okay, So, and you thought of me because you think that I'm the example. No, I thought of you because you're always like this. At least American society is very much right now, leaning on the worst you are, the more money and success you get. I know that that's why you thought of me. I was just hoping it was because I was perfect, because I'm

a cynic. Now it's because you're a cynic. Well. But anyway, we're not here to do some academic poetry breakdown of his cool satire against rant reason or I'm just gonna have to pass to do another podcast for that, that's right. Something else. We're here to do body poetry reading. Yeah, So instead we're going to dive into a poem called

The Disabled Debaucher. And in this poem, an old rake is kind of reflecting on his bygone days and he's trying to inspire a new generation to fucking suck just as much, if not more, then he did as a young man. So let's hear John Wilmot the Disabled Debaucher, as some braise admiral in former war, deprived of force but pressed with courage. Still, two rival fleets, appearing from afar,

crawls to the top of an adjacent hill. From whence swift thoughts full of concern, he views the wise and daring conduct of the fight, and each bold action, to his mind renews his present glory and his past delight from his fierce eyes. Flashes of rage he throws as from black clouds when lightning breaks away, transported thinks himself amidst his foes and absent, yet enjoys the bloody day.

So when my days of impotence approach, and I'm by pox and wines, unlucky chance, driven from the pleasing billows of debauch on the dull shore of lazy temperance, my pains, at last some respite shall afford, whilst I behold the battles you maintain. When fleets of glasses sail about the board from whose broadsides, vall lease of wit shall rain, Nor shall the sight of honorable scars, which my two

forward valor did procure. Frightened new listed soldiers from the wars past joys have more than paid what I endure. I like, literally, you might see me and I've got like syphilis and gono rhea and my Dick's fallen off. But that's not gonna stop you. You're gonna get out there and screw everyone you see. You know I enjoyed every minute of it. I got no regrets. No I look like the portrait of Dorian Gray, should hopeful you worth being drunk, prove nice and from their fair inviterers

meanly shrink. It would please the ghost of my depart advice if at my council they repent and drink. Or should some cold complexion sut forbid with his dull morals our nights brisk alarms. I'll fire his blood by telling what I did when I was strong and able to bear arms. I'll tell of whores attacked their lords at home, bod's quarters, beat up and fortress one windows, demolished, watches overcome,

and handsome ills by my contrabance done. I love the line Watches overcomes, considering that we know he got a friend killed by the night Watch, that's true. I just love this, Like, uh no, I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you my stories and then you're gonna get so riled up you're gonna have to go there. I'm gonna tell you about I've screwed these women while their husbands were right there in the other room. If I can do it, you can do it, kid, Come on, prove you try

to beat my record. Yeah, yeah, I did five and a night beat that, And they're like, well now, I have to well, if the old man could do it, nor shall our love fits Cloris be forgot when each the well looked link boy strove to enjoy and the best kiss was the deciding lots whether the boy fucked you or I the boy basically saying like sometimes we got the pool boy involved. Basically, I think in a kind of way, because link boys were probably like twelve, and oh no, I don't think they were very old.

Link boys like carried lights, uh down the street. That's right. They Yeah, they were like torch bears kind of um and yeah, that's were not they were not grown up. Yeah, anyway, you moving on with tails like these, I will such heat inspire as to important mischief, shall incline, I'll make them long some ancient church to fire, and fear no lewdness.

They're called to by wine, thus statesmanlike, I'll suscily impose and safe from Dane sure valiantly advised, sheltered in impotence, urge you two blows and being good for nothing else be wise. He's like, I'm so old now I can't do it anymore. I'm safe from any other harm that might befall me from getting into this kind of trashy behavior. But I'm gonna stand here and tell you to do it. That's right, and if you have it, if you have questions,

I can advise. I'm here speak to your elders. I love that he's comparing it to being an old general who's like looking back on his r glories and he's like late straight up, like this is a bat this is my battle field. But what's funny is I remember when I was doing the research for this episode, somebody was like, this the Disabled Debauch is like the most the dirtiest poem in the English language, and I was like, it really feels like Regime d Vive and Imperfect Enjoyment

are like dirtier in a way than this one. He don't even say the sea heard in this one. Well that's a fun little poem, not as dirty as some of the other ones. And when we come back from the break, we are going to read in full the poem that we've read a little bit of with Ben and Noel in our Brief History of Sex Toys episode, but we're going to do the whole thing this time, and it's incredible. It's called Senor Buildo and it's about exactly what you think it is. So we'll be right

back with that. Welcome back, everybody. Okay. So back in our brief History of Sex Toys episode that we did with Ridiculous History with Ben and Noel, we read about four stanzas of John Wilmot's senior bildo, but it is much longer than that. John Wilmot possibly wrote this after Mary of Modena arrived in England to marry James the Second. If you remember James the Second, he was the that creepy younger brother of Charles the Second. You know, he

would just stare at women's boobs leer. He's the one who the guys were like. His mistresses are so ugly. They must have been given to him by priest. Oh my god. He's also the one that Charles got so mad about being compared to. So that's right, he's just who this guy was. Now. Mary of Medina was Italian and the dildo was referred to as the Italian device in Restoration England. I was like, have you tried the Italian device? You? Yes, I have three d wolf. I've

got a few as well. Oh who's that? That's Jerry the Blacksmith. He likes a dildo. It's nothing wrong with that, Mad Adam from Dragon Steel. That's actually true because the dildos were not anything new. They're very old actually, and aristocrats had dildos made from all kinds of different materials. Fancy show like silver and gold, and you fancy medals and stuff. Arry the blacksmith, yeah, Ivory, he might be

forging the next big dildo for somebody. Now. Was it secretive where they like, oh, Jerry, can you make me one of those Italian devices? Or did he have like a side business where he's like, you know, horseshoes and dildos, come on down to Jerry's shop. I don't know the answer to that because it kind of varies, I guess,

depending on what society. Obviously, English society is pretty buttoned up, so it probably was a secret, whereas apparently in Japan when they had dildos, it's straight up like just here's a bunch of pictures of ladies enjoying their dildos, almost a comical thing. Much more like it's fine. So you've got a Japanese blacksmith being like, I've got dildos everyone, and horseshoes if you want them, keep it on the hush there, but flip it around for England. This is

a dildo shop if anybody asks. But yeah, around John's time, because even like I said, dildos were nothing new. People were used to them. But around this time, men were starting to get really nervous that women would prefer dildo's over the real thing, kind of because of that imperfect enjoyment thing. They're like, they can always stay up, they're always ready, you know that, they never fail. So they start to get really insecure. Well, and that exists today.

I know a lot of guys are very insecure about sex toys in the bedroom. Yeah. They say if you use a vibrator too much, like you can't come your hand anymore, something, which I'm like, Okay, if she don't know any better, then you got better chances. That's basically what they're saying, right, Yeah, find someone who doesn't know that I'm the worst at this. It'd be like me go into an alien planet and being like, hey, everybody, I'm actually the best baker on planet Earth, and they don't.

They don't know any better, right, so you can just make whatever garbage the best cupcakes I can do from scratch, which I'm more of a cook than a baker. I would forget an ingredient of some kind, you would get all the way to Alpha Centauri and be like, shit, I forgot the corn starch. I love the baking powder. You know why my cupcakes are so bad? Because I put corn star was no wonder. Yeah, all right, but

let's get to the poem. Senior Dildo kind of plays on those fears of men feeling insecure about the dildo being popularized. And just you know, the duchess that John Wilmot refers to in the first two stanzas is referring to Mary of Modena, who had come there to Mary James the second. So let's see her John Wilmot's Senior Dildo. You ladies of Mary, England who have been to kiss the Duchess's hand, pray, did you not lately observe in

the show a noble Italian called Senior Dildo. This senor was one of the Duchess's train and helped to conduct her over the main But now she cries out to the Duke, I will go, I have no more need for Senior Dildo. At the Sign of the Cross in St. James Street, when next you go thither to make yourself sweet by buying a powder gloves essence, or so you made chance to get a sight of Senior Dildo. You would take him at first for no person of note,

because he appears in a plain leather coat. But when you his virtuous abilities, no, you'll fall down and worship Senior Dildo. Did it come in like a leather sleeve when you got one? Because that's why I'm conturing. And also I think that some early condoms were like many times washed leather. Yeah, well so that might be a reference to a condom as well. Helloa, you might see this guy around and just think he's a you know,

just a weird wooden cucumber. But I'm telling you he's special, and you're going to figure it out, and then you will worship him. My Lady south esk heaven prosper her fort first clothed him in satin, then brought him to court, but his head in the circle he scarcely durst show so modest a youth was Senior Dildo. The good Lady Suffolk, thinking no harm, had got this poor stranger, hid under her arm. Lady Betty, by chance came the secrets to know,

and from her own mother stole senior Dildo. How rude, Lady Betty's mom is like tearing her room apart. I swear it was just here under my pillow of the finest ivory, Lady, Betty, get your own. Lady Petty, she was like, where am I supposed to go? I can't go order a horseshoe. I'm a lady. She's like, I need it now, and Jerry's is closed. The Countess of Falmous, of whom people tell her footman wear shirts of a guinea and l might save that expense if she did,

But know how lusty a swinger is Senior Dildo. By the help of this gallant, the Countess of Raith against the fierce Harris, preserved herself safe. She stifled him almost beneath her pillow. So closely she embraced senior dildo. Keep in mind, all these people are real, like he might be reading this in front of them. He's like, I know how closely you embraced senior dildo, or at least

people who know them. Yeah, the pattern of virtue, her Grace of Cleveland has swallowed more pricks than the ocean has sand. But by rubbing and scrubbing, so wide does it grow? It is fit for just nothing but senior dildo. Oh my god. He's saying that she's so burnt out that she needs senior dildo. Yes, he is one of the Yeah, he's like, she's had too many penises now nothing can satisfy her. She's the Grace of Cleveland. There's a poor somewhere in Cleveland, Ohio. There's a girl with

the same reputation. Oh no, Grace of Cleveland Gate Cleveland. I mean whatever, Grace, if you're in do you think if you swallow more pricks than the ocean has sand? As far as I'm concerned, that's the achievement unlocked. Better you than me, our dainty fine duchesses have got a trick to dote on a fool for the sake of his prick. The thops were undone, did their graces. But no,

the discretion and figure I've senior dilto. He's like, these ladies are always keeping these stupid dudes around just because they can get it up. If only they knew they had another option, But they don't need to entertain them. Yeah, and senior dildo. Nobody ever knows he's there. It's a quiet, he's so quiet. The Duchess of Modina, though she looks so high with such a gallant as, content to lie and for fear that the English her secrets should know

for her, gentleman Usher took Senior Dildo. The Countess of the Cockpit, who knows not her name. She's famous in story for a killing dame. When all her old lovers forsake her, I trow. She'll then be contented with Senor Dildo, Red Howard, Red Sheldon and Temple so tall complain of his absence so long from Whitehall. Senior Barnard has promised a journey to go and bring back his countryman. Senior Dildo. Hang on, I'll go get it. They took him off

to England. Dol Howard, no longer with his highness, must range, and therefore is proffered this civil exchange. Her teeth being rotten, she smells best below and needs must be fitted for Senior Dildo. Oh my god, he's like her mouth is so nasty. Better off downstairs, good lord. That actually reminds me.

My cousin Alex is in Germany right now, and he was learning there from some historians that apparently like one of the reasons that, like the Mona Lisa and a lot of other portraits didn't smile open mouth allegedly is that their teeth were so nasty and they didn't want to show him. Oh, I guess the portraitors couldn't compensate, right, They're like, we're not going to paint of white or not. I can't. I don't know how to fake teeth. I'm

not looking at it. I can't paint it. If they're like, I'll crooked and ship paint what I see, Alex, I know that's awesome. St Alban's with wrinkles and smiles in his face, whose kindness to strangers becomes his high place, and his coach and six horses is gone to bear, go to take the fresh air with Senior Dildo. We're the senor, but known to the citiz and fops. He'd keep their fine wives from the foreman of the shops.

But the rascals deserved their horns should still grow for burning the pope and his nephew Dildo Tom Killigrew's wife, that holland fine flower. At the sight of this senor did fart and belch sour and her debt rereading the further to show says, welcome to England, mynheer van dildo. By the way, Tom Killigrew is the playwright that John Wilmot punched in the ear in front of the King and got that got him banished and fished for it for the first time. So I guess he wants to

make fun of his wife. In this section, he civilly came to the cockpit one night and proffered his service to fair Madam Knight. Quoth she all intrigue with Captain cats O your nose in mine ours? Good senior dilto Wow, she wants the dildo in the butt. She's like, while intrigued with the captain in the front, maybe he's yours in the back. Here, This senior is sound safe, ready and dumb as ever was candle, carrot or thumb. Then away with these nasty devices and show how you rate

the just merit of senior dildo. Amazing. He's like, look, I know what you've tried with, all right, and this is a better option. Trust me. It's more sanitary, scomber nana, whatever you got, whatever, whatever you can find that's long and cylindrical. This is better. Count Gutso, who carries his nose very high. In passion, he swore his rival should die, then shut himself up to let the world know. Flesh and blood could not bear it from Senior Dildo. Do

you think that means? In passion he swore he was like all do him? Yeah, And then so he was trying to like Marathon and beat this woman and he could not do it. It's the John Henry story that John Henry store John Harry was the steel driving man who couldn't Who was who went out to beat the machine the building railways? Yeah, Count was the first John Henry. Count Catso is the John Henry of Dildo's. John Henry is a folk hero. Count Katso just couldn't keep it

going compared to keep up with the Dildo. A rabble of pricks who were welcome before, now finding the porter denied them. The door maliciously waited his coming below, and inhumanly fell on Senior Dildo. Now I wearied out, The poor stranger did fly, and along the pall mall they followed full cry. The women concerned from every window cried for Heaven's sight save signor Dildo. The lady sand is burst into a laughter to see how the bollocks came

wobbling after and had not their weight slowed down the foe. Indeed, it had gone hard. We're Senior Dildo. They're like, these guys are like we used to get fucked, but now they won't let us in. We have to kill senior, run this guy out of town. But they couldn't be They could not beat him. They couldn't beat them. They couldn't even catch up the hilarious. The women are like, no, not the dildo alone. It's the best sex we've had in this town. Look, oh god, I've said it before.

I sat again. There is room for Senior Dildo to join us. You know clearly Madam Knight had it right. She's like, let me get Captain Cats on the front. You're in the back. Everybody's having fun. Look, I'll do all I can do. Senior Dildo here, tag out, tag in, Yeah, okay, I'm ready again, Dildo out. It's my turn. It should be tech in tag tournament in the bedroom at all time. Everybody has a tag in partner. And if and if Senior Dildo is just performing better than you, well then

you know, maybe ask some questions. Try, you should ask some questions. It's funny when people are presentful of things like sex toys, but then they are not themselves putting their partner's pleasure in the forefront. Okay, you know, I'm like, well then what do you care? Right? That's kind of what's so weird about it. It's like, I mean, there's

things you can do that like the imperfect enjoyment. I'm surprised Karina feeling wronged by his dick wasn't like use your hands or something like, let's there's other ways he should have read that poem, like you listen here, dick. If you don't straight now, I'm going to get Senior Dildo in here. That's right, you listen here. I love that you listen here, dick, little earl? How dare you? How dare you abandon me? I Am about to go call up my good friends senior dildo and he's gonna

come in here and show you what for. But it's all just stories. The general is telling wait in this life, yes, the generals like, let me tell you about the one time I check in tag team it we're senior tilto now we went down to captain kessos and you see him surrounded by all these younger men who are like learning at his knees. They're all so excited and just totally enraptured in this story. Teach me the way. One

day it's going to be my tune. Maybe I'll be in the front while senior dildos in the back, or I'll be in the back, and I don't care. It doesn't matter. Whatever you want. You know what, senior dildo your choice, you know what, lady's choice. I'm going to be a general. Are you here too, oh, madam knight out? But it was just me and Signor dilto Wow. Incredible,

the finest poet of his of his age. Another thing I do want to point out because to your point and imperfect enjoyment, and in this one, he's really pointing out that women do want to have sex, like women have sexual desires and they get pleasure out of it and they want it as much as men do, which I find would be a really interesting position for him to take pun intended, I guess, because a lot of men don't don't think that, you know, they especially at

that time, they were like whatever, you know, I just supposed to put a baby in there. That's that's all you care about, um, or if you were a true lady. I guess they kind of thought you didn't get into it, and not not just that. Uh, women like sex and enjoy sex, but their pleasure is important and uh and something that you wouldn't want to fail at. Yes, false to my passion, fatal to my fame. Everybody knows me as the guy who who every tingling cunt rubs herself

off or whatever he said. But now you're in Karen is going to go run around tell him I couldn't even put it insider before I was right. And it's not to say that her pleasure was his motivation for being upset. He really just wanted to funk. But um, but yeah, I think that's really interesting that he's writing

about this about women's pleasure so much. That's why I was like, I don't really like the line, like personally like the line about every horror you know relieves her tingling cunt post and stuff, because that sounds a little bit like it's a little harsh, I guess to me. But again, it does say like they want it, they're interested, they're feeling horny, and they need something to get on to get off one of those lines where I was like,

I don't love the way you phrased it. At the knowledge behind it, I guess is good or at least different for your time. I think it's interesting to to your point, um, about him writing about pleasure and about that not necessarily being a mindset of the age, or

of or of a lot of ages. Um. I think we see that that's not really as true on an individual level, like we've got this kind of stereotype because I think even in a lot of very masculine societies, generally speaking, you're like, oh, yeah, no, I don't care about that part. I just want that. But when still a lot of those men themselves, you get them alone with the woman they love, and they actually care very

much about it. But you know, I would say that the locker room, you know, it doesn't matter how sex, you know. And so I think that's something we see too, where he was like fine talking about this, like, hey, women out there be looking for pleasure everybody, so maybe you should focus a little on that, or Senior Dilda's going to come in and run us all out of town, okay, as opposed to just being like who cares When I'm

you know, out there in the world. I like to perpetuate the stereotype that we men don't care, But I don't think it's as true if you really got down to a lot of individual partnerships. I mean, that's a good point. I think that's true in modern day as much as back in the day, but very much there's this sense of like what men are allowed to talk about, like or love or be passionately into or cry about or whatever, and it's very limited and it's not healthy.

I feel sorry for men in that way. I see those tiktoks sometimes I got you know, we kind of laugh at it, but I'm also kind of annoyed by it where there's like a guy snuggling with his girlfriend and then somebody walks in and he like jumps up like whoa, no, you didn't catch me, you know, and it's like, oh ha ha, it's funny, but also like why that's not that shouldn't be emasculating the emotional and enjoy yourself right, speaking of go see r R and

you will learn how to be friends with another man, yes, and expose your heart yes, and be just loving to one another. And it doesn't have to be sexual at all. It's just a beautiful friendship, incredible. I just love it. A witty a witty guy. Yeah, you see where he got his reputation. Definitely. I don't know, he's just he's a good writer. I mean he really did have a way, a real way with words. You can see why King

Charles was like, all right, but get back in here. Yeah, he is a laugh like there's just oh, this guy isn't so much trouble all the time. But nobody writes about dil does like that guy. Get him back in here. Well. There are so many more poems from John Wilmot, and we definitely encourage you to just keep looking into him because it's so funny, it's so amazing, and they are so well written, especially Satura against Reason. It's really interesting. I love that. Really is a great WANs to be there.

And while you're doing that, shoot us an email. Let us know what you thought of all these poems. Send us your verses about I don't know, prettymature ejaculation, whatever you want, would love to hear, and we will read your dirty poems on the show if you send it. God, I would love a listener Male poetry cards. You know what, all of you listening, you're a poet. You might not realize it, but uh you are. So put some words together sending our way because we would love to read

some some modern body poetry from our listeners. You can hit us at ridic Romance at gmail dot com right or we're on Twitter and Instagram. I'm at Dianamite boom and I'm at oh great, it's Eli and the show is at ridict Romance. That's right. And follow us on TikTok at Ridiculous Romance for some videos. And I'm so excited to have brought you this. I can't wait to bring in the next episode. Yeah, thank you so much for spending time with us today in Poetry Corner. We

will see you next time. I love you so long. Friends, It's time to go. Thanks for listening to our show. Tell your friends neighbor's uncle s Indance to listen to a show Ridiculous rom Dance m